


Heart in Chains

by Morgana_avalon



Category: The Lord of the Rings - J. R. R. Tolkien
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-08
Updated: 2019-04-08
Packaged: 2020-01-07 01:16:52
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 4
Words: 167,454
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18400172
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Morgana_avalon/pseuds/Morgana_avalon
Summary: Who is Erestor and what happened to him in his long life? What caused him to save Elrond's life when the High-King died, leaving his lover alone and hurting? Although there are some references to the Silmarillon, I am no expert in these matters and mostly depend on information supplied to me by Ilye and my beta Sulien, who I want to thank for beta reading this monster. So excuse me if I stay vague at times. This story is of course AU. If you have questions about the story lines, times etc, I will forward them to Sulien, because she knows much more about these matters.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This story will contain male pregnancy and one could argue if Erestor's first time is consensual or not. I think it is. Child abuse and child loss (which means miscarriage).

His life couldn’t be more miserable! Erestor huddled in the corner of the room, which he shared with the other servants and wondered what he had done to deserve this.

 

Nothing. He had done nothing to deserve this, but Feanor hated him and the Elf was making his life unbearable. It had all started when Feanor’s father, Finwe, had decided to remarry. Feanor never approved of Finwe’s second marriage and had done everything he could to break up his father and his new wife – Indis.

 

Feanor had loathed his new family, especially Erestor, whose mother was Indis’ oldest sister. The Elfling had quickly become one of Finwe’s favorites, and insanely jealous, Feanor had begun to harass mother and son, until in the end, they had been unable to take any more and had fled. 

 

Finwe had ordered Feanor to bring them back and Feanor had been forced to carry out his father’s orders. He would have been happy to never see Erestor again, but his father had decided differently. When he had returned the runaways, he found to his utter delight that they had fallen out of grace and that Finwe no longer favored them. 

 

Erestor had learned the hard way what that meant. His life had changed drastically since they had lost Finwe’s favor and he wished he could go back to living with his mother, but Feanor had separated them and he didn’t even know where she was and if she was still alive. Without Finwe’s protection he was at Feanor’s mercy.

 

“Erestor?”

 

Celegorm, one of Feanor’s sons, stood in the doorway and menacingly stared at him. The elder Elf was a vision of ethereal beauty, but personal experiences had taught Erestor not to trust him. 

 

“Why are you still here? My father ordered you to help in the stables.”

 

Erestor slowly pushed himself to his feet, staying close to the wall. The last thing he wanted was for either Feanor or Celegorm to grow angry with him. Father and son had violent tempers and their moods could change abruptly. He had often been at the receiving end of their wrath and would carry bruises for days. Just when they would start to fade, father or son would inflict new injuries.

 

“I am already on my way,” said Erestor quickly. As an Elfling, he didn’t have the physical strength to defend himself against the much stronger Celegorm, who loved to torment him. It was best to sneak away before Celegorm’s mood changed.

 

He had nearly left the room, when Celegorm reached for him, curling his fingers cruelly around his left wrist. Erestor managed not to groan, knowing Celegorm would enjoy seeing him in pain. “I will be late.” He carefully lowered his eyes, trying hard not to agitate Celegorm further.

 

“You are already late, child.”

 

Celegorm’s hold on his wrist was growing painful and he squirmed, trying to get away from the other Elf. “Please…” He had learned a long time ago that begging didn’t help, but it was his only means of placating Celegorm.

 

“You are just like your mother.” Celegorm’s voice dripped with loathing. “I do not understand why Feanor decided to keep you here. We should have left you with her. Your presence here is a disgrace. You ran away from my grandfather.”

 

/Nay, we ran away from your *father*. I loved my grandfather./ But Erestor knew why Feanor wanted him here. He possessed healing powers that were unlike anything Feanor had ever seen and the Elf wanted to command them. It was probably the sole reason why he had been brought here. “My Lord, I need to—“

 

“How do you dare oppose me, whelp?”

 

Erestor whimpered, as a sickening snap echoed through the room. Celegorm had just broken his wrist – again. It wasn’t the first time Celegorm or his father had injured him. Celegorm then released his wrist, but not before twisting it sadistically.

 

“Never forget your place here, child. You are at our mercy. Your mother’s actions saw to that.”

 

Erestor nodded obediently, and was careful not to show the pain he was in. His healing powers never worked on himself, and it would take weeks for his wrist to completely heal. In the meantime, he would receive more punishment because he couldn’t properly carry out his appointed tasks with the limited use of only one hand. “Aye, my Lord.”

 

“Then go, now!”

 

Celegorm pushed him hard toward the doorway and Erestor almost tripped over his own two feet. He didn’t want to go to the stables because the harassment would continue there. The only moment of peace he normally knew was when he studied with the elder healers.

 

Once outside, he cradled his wrist against his chest and fought back the tears that were trying to escape his eyes. He couldn’t show any weakness now.

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

Erestor sucked in his breath, realizing he was no longer alone. The healers, who he had studied with, had long left. He didn’t need to look over his shoulder to know who was watching him. The hair at the back of his neck stood rigid in warning and gooseflesh had formed over his entire body. At times like these, he wished he was older and stronger.

 

“According to your teachers, you are making excellent progress,” Feanor said calmly.

 

Erestor slowly turned around, knowing from personal experience that being disobedient would earn him Feanor’s wrath. He kept his eyes trained on the floor, hesitant to look at his nemesis, even when Feanor seemed to be in a good mood. He remained motionless when Feanor began to circle him, sensing probing gray eyes on him. Showing weakness would make this worse and he tried to hold his ground. “I like studying with them.”

 

“They tell me you do well for someone as young as you are, child.”

 

Erestor stopped himself from releasing a relieved sigh. It seemed Feanor was actually pleased with him! But then disaster struck.

 

“But you are also clumsy. You did not satisfactory carry out your assigned tasks in the stables today.”

 

Erestor bit his bottom lip in frustration. “That is because Celegorm broke my wrist.” A growl escaped Feanor and Erestor’s eyes, still trained on the floor, widened with apprehension.

 

“A broken arm is no excuse for not carrying out your tasks.”

 

Feanor’s cold tone made him shiver. His gaze involuntarily darted to his nemesis and he gasped softly. Feanor was an Elf of exceptional beauty. His long, dark hair reached his buttocks and the gray eyes could shine benignly when their owner was in a good mood, but now they shot daggers, and they were aimed at him. “I offer you my humble apo—“

 

He never got the chance to finish, as Feanor brutally backhanded him across the face. The power of the blow sent him crashing onto the floor and his breath hitched due to a blinding pain that sliced through his jaw. Acting instinctively, he knelt and lowered his eyes again. “I am sorry.” Talking hurt, but he knew Feanor wanted to hear him say the words. “I am sorry that I disappointed you.”

 

“You continue to disappoint me. I should have listened to my sons when they advised me not to bother with you. But your healing powers can come in handy.”

 

Erestor swallowed hard. “I will try harder.”

 

“Aye, you will, or I will tell the healers to exclude you from their lessons.”

 

Erestor gasped in shock. Studying with the healers was the one thing that made his life bearable. But how was he supposed to keep Feanor contented when he always carried injuries that kept him from successfully carrying out his tasks?

 

“Do not disappoint me again.”

 

Erestor whimpered in pain after Feanor had left the room. His fingers gently probed his jaw and his eyes filled with tears. Now he could add a broken jaw to his broken wrist. This had been an especially bad day and he had the feeling it wasn’t over yet.

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

That night, he was ordered to wait on Curufin, another of Feanor’s sons. Through the years he had learned to avoid running into Feanor, Celegorm, Curufin and Caranthir. The four Elves loathed him and used every opportunity to show him.

 

At times, he would find comfort in Maglor’s arms and it would make him wonder how Feanor’s sons could be that different. Maglor was the only one who treated him like an Elfling who still needed protection and proper care. But Maglor unfortunately was seldom close enough to protect him from the wrath of the others.

 

He managed to stand motionless, after putting the bowl of soup in front of Curufin. Already sporting injuries, he didn’t want more added to them.

 

“You little, incompetent…”

 

Erestor’s eyes nearly glazed over, seeing the angry expression in the gray eyes, which were so much like Feanor’s – cruel and unforgiving. What had he done wrong this time?

 

“The soup sloshed over the rim and onto my sleeve when you put down the bowl! Can’t you do anything right?”

 

Curufin glared at him and Erestor instinctively backed up into a corner. “I could not help it!” His broken wrist had made it extremely difficult to carry the bowl without spilling any soup. The tears that had swam in his eyes most of the day now spilled down his cheeks. He was only a child, trying his best to please these grown ups, but his injuries were hampering him! Why couldn’t they see that and understand that he was doing his best? He wanted Maglor -- wanted to hide behind the Elf’s broad back, but Maglor wasn’t close.

 

Suddenly, Curufin jumped to his feet, grabbed his injured arm and dragged him from the room. Erestor released a pain-filled yelp, wishing for the torment to stop, but the Elf continued to drag him through the corridors, sending unspeakable pain through his injured limb. “Nay, please!” He already knew where they were headed and he didn’t want to go there!

 

Curufin opened a door and then flung him inside. Erestor landed hard on the cold stone floor, crushing his injured arm beneath him and he screamed in pain. He considered begging for mercy, but then gave up, knowing Curufin would never listen.

 

The heavy wooden door slammed shut and he pulled his knees up to his chest, wrapping his good arm around them. He shivered from fear. They always locked him up in this dark room when they were displeased with him. There wouldn’t be any food tonight, and they wouldn’t let him out until it was morning and time for him to return to his daily chores.

 

Shaking with sobs, he tried to control his fears. Shadows danced through the room and ghostly sounds made his skin crawl. “Nana, where are you? I do not want to be alone.”

 

After long moments, he finally cried himself to sleep.

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

“Erestor? Pen-neth?”

 

The soft and kind voice woke Erestor and his eyes widened, seeing Maglor kneeling at his side. “You are back.” Acting on impulse, he raised his arms and flung them around the Elf’s neck. It had taken him some time to realize that Maglor and Feanor were opposites. Although Maglor’s appearance much resembled his father’s, the Elf was nothing like Feanor in character. Where Feanor was mean and violent, Maglor was kind and understanding.

 

Holding on tight to Maglor, Erestor tried to bring his too fast breathing back under control. Erestor sobbed softly, enjoying the feel of Maglor rubbing his back. “I try so hard to please them, but…”

 

Maglor soothed him and Erestor was forced to let go when the elder Elf reached for the candle which he had brought with him. He lowered his gaze in shame, realizing what Maglor would see.

 

“Aiya, I am too late – again.”

 

Erestor allowed the gentle probing when Maglor examined his broken wrist and jaw.

 

“That wrist needs binding and you won’t be able to eat properly with that broken jaw.”

 

Erestor clearly heard the anger in Maglor’s voice, but he also knew that it wasn’t aimed at him. The elder Elf had tried to speak up on his behalf before, but Feanor had forbidden his son to bring up the Elfling ever again. “I am not allowed food at any rate.”

 

“Who did this to you, pen-neth? Who broke your wrist?”

 

Erestor trembled, knowing Maglor only wanted to help him, but the elder Elf would get himself in to trouble because of this and he didn’t want that.

 

“Tell me, Erestor. This cannot continue. They have been mistreating you for many years now.”

 

“Celegorm broke my wrist,” mumbled Erestor eventually, snuggling close to Maglor.

 

“And your jaw?”

 

“Feanor was displeased.” Erestor tried to stop crying, but it was hard now that someone supportive was holding him. These moments were much too rare. Maglor never stayed long and it wouldn’t be long before he would be back at the others’ mercy.

 

Maglor’s expression hardened, hearing Erestor’s words. “I will bind your wrist and fetch you some soup from the kitchens. I wish I could take you to my rooms with me.”

 

“Do not fetch that soup for me, please. I would pay for that later if someone found out and so would you,” whispered Erestor in misery. Maglor had taken him to his rooms once before to look after him, and when Feanor had found out, the elder Elf had dragged him back to this prison. Maglor had also been punished, but his benefactor had refused to tell him in what way.

 

“I have to get you away from here, Erestor. You won’t survive more of this abuse.”

 

“I am strong, Maglor. At least that is what Nana always told me.” Erestor wanted this moment -- this embrace -- to last forever, and vehemently clung to Maglor. “I will survive.”

 

Maglor pulled back and Erestor stared into genuinely warm and caring eyes. Maglor was the closest thing he had to a father, and he hoped the elder Elf could stay for a few days, making his life a little more bearable.

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

Maglor had left when the morning had dawned, not wanting to create more problems for Erestor. The Elfling now found himself being pushed down the corridor toward Feanor’s quarters. His heart thundered in his chest, scared of what would await him in his tormentor’s rooms. He desperately hoped Feanor didn’t know of Maglor’s comforting visit that night. The last thing he wanted was for Maglor to get in to trouble as well.

 

After the guard had opened the door, he was pushed inside and he bit his tongue in order to keep from screaming out at the pain that swept through his broken arm. Sensing Feanor’s presence, he kept his gaze trained on the floor, doing his best to avoid the piercing gray eyes.

 

“Child, do not stand there! Come over here!”

 

Hearing the urgent tone to Feanor’s voice, Erestor cautiously looked at the elder Elf. Feanor glowered at him and then extended his left hand. He could see that one finger was bent in an awkward way; it was probably broken. /And he wants me to heal the injury./ This was a test. Feanor’s healing ability would easily take care of the broken finger, but the elder Elf wanted *him* to do this.

 

“I will allow you to eat breakfast if you do this now.”

 

Erestor -- hungry -- nodded. It had been days since he had eaten last and even a glass of milk would fill his empty belly. Gently, he placed his good hand on Feanor’s and concentrated. The healing energy coursed through his tiny body and disappeared into Feanor’s, healing the broken finger.

 

Collapsing against the wall, Erestor’s tired eyes cautiously searched Feanor’s. The dark-haired Elf seemed pleased, but one could never be sure. Maybe Curufin had told him about the accident with the soup and Feanor would punish him anyway.

 

Feanor flexed the finger and smiled. “Ai, you are truly blessed, pen-neth.”

 

Erestor shivered, wondering what else was going through the elder Elf’s mind. Feanor had told him on several occasions that he would remain his servant for the rest of his life, as Finwe had lost all interest in him. Erestor was deadly afraid he would never get away from Feanor and that the abuse would never stop. “I did well?” He quickly covered his mouth with his good hand. He hadn’t wanted to say the words aloud. Feanor would find them offensive; the elder Elf had told him to hold his tongue in his presence.

 

“Aye, you did well,” said Feanor sweetly.

 

Erestor’s instincts kicked in. Feanor was never that kind to him!

 

“It is a shame that Curufin complained about your clumsiness.”

 

Erestor’s mouth went dry. What kind of punishment had Feanor in mind for him?

 

“I am afraid you do not deserve breakfast after all. Return to your chores and make sure I receive no more complains.”

 

Erestor’s stomach chose that moment to growl hungrily. Big-eyed, Erestor stared at Feanor in alarm. But Feanor ignored it, and signaled for the guard to take him away.

 

Once he was in the corridor, he collapsed onto his knees. Using his healing powers always drained him and he had already been weak to begin with. The guard tried to pull him to his feet, and applied unbearable pressure to his broken wrist in order to do so.

 

Tears sprung from his eyes, as he dragged himself back onto his feet again. He had no idea how to survive this day, but he had to.

 

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

That evening his presence was requested by Celegorm, as the Elf was one servant short. Erestor’s heart fluttered with fear at hearing that Curufin and Caranthir would also be present. A large amount of wine had been delivered to Celegorm’s rooms and Erestor expected the worst. The three brothers always turned extremely violent and mean when drinking.

 

He stood rigid, trying hard not to draw their attention, while the three brothers were dining. Wine flowed luxuriously and he could that tell they were quickly growing intoxicated. He wished he had the courage to flee the room, but that would only mean more punishment later. He had to endure this here and now.

 

“Child! More wine!” Caranthir raised his glass and waited for Erestor to carry the crystal carafe to their table.

 

Using his good hand, Erestor cradled the carafe against his chest, careful not so spill any of the red liquid. He even managed to successfully fill Caranthir’s glass, but when he tried to return to his corner, things took a turn for the worst.

 

Curufin, seemingly stretching his legs, tripped the Elfling and then everything happened at the same time.

 

The crystal carafe slipped from his tiny fingers and shattered into hundreds of pieces. The floor was now covered with tiny shards and Erestor, unable to maintain his balance, went down as well, landing in the middle of them. The shards cruelly buried themselves in his skin and he yelped softly, trying to bite down the pain.

 

“Ha, look at the whelp!” Celegorm laughed, amused.

 

Erestor’s breath caught and he stared at his hands in misery. The glass had buried itself in his palms, causing him pain. Pleadingly, he looked up at the three Elves, extending his hands in a silent plea for help. It only caused them to laugh harder.

 

“Take him to his quarters,” said Caranthir, who was still chuckling at Erestor’s misfortune. “He is useless!”

 

One of the guards grabbed Erestor’s collar and pulled him to his feet. Erestor had stopped crying, having no more tears left. Feeling numb and utterly helpless, he allowed the guard to drag him to the servants’ quarters.

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

Curled up on his blanket, he stared at the wall. The servants he shared quarters with knew better than to pay him any attention and completely ignored him. He had managed to pry most shards from his hands, but some had remained, deeply imbedded in his flesh. Maybe Maglor would remove them once the elder Elf had the time to check on him.

 

Tired of having to live this life, Erestor forced himself to fall asleep, dreaming of his mother and her welcoming arms.

 

TBC

 

Beta read by Sulien.

All mistakes are mine.

 

Heart in Chains.

Part 2

 

 

Erestor had thought this day would never come, but it was finally happening. After decades of suffering abuse at the hands of Curufin and Celegorm, the two brothers had decided to live with Maedhros, and more importantly Maglor. That meant he would finally be reunited with his former protector.

 

Things had first changed when Feanor had died. In his arrogance, his former tormentor had chased after Orcs, never waiting for support. A Balrog had attacked and Feanor had eventually succumbed to his injuries. Erestor had felt strangely satisfied, hearing about his nemesis’ death, but then things had taken a turn for the worse, as he was forced to live with Curufin and Celegorm and act as their servant. His freedom had never seemed more out of reach.

 

Shaking himself from his musings, he concentrated on the present, reminding himself that he was going to live with Maedhros and Maglor!

 

Whilst most of the other Elves were on horseback, he had been told to walk. It wasn’t that he really minded being one of the few on foot, but he was tired and he still hurt from last night’s beating.

 

Curufin had grown more violent during the last few decades and took great pleasure in showing Erestor his place. Last night had been exceptionally bad. Curufin had drunk too much potent wine and had beaten him all the way down to the servants’ quarters, leaving him bruised and aching. The servants had looked away – as they always did – and he had tried to hide under a blanket, licking his wounds.

 

The next morning he had been forced to get up early and finish the chores he hadn’t gotten to the evening before, leaving him so tired that he now almost fell asleep on his feet. He was walking and his eyes were open, but part of him had dived into the world of sleep and dreams.

 

“Stay awake!” Curufin -- seated on his aggressive steed -- kicked Erestor in the back.

 

Erestor nearly stumbled, but managed to catch himself by grabbing hold of the tail of the horse in front of him. “I beg your pardon, my Lord.” He kept his eyes trained on the ground, not wanting to aggravate Curufin further.

 

Curufin seemed to finally grow tired of harassing him and the elder Elf joined his brother, who was riding at the head of the party.

 

/Only a few more days,/ thought Erestor, trying to uphold his courage. /And then Maglor will be close again. Maybe he will take me on as his servant. That way I could get away from Curufin and Celegorm./ But he doubted the two brothers would ever let him go.

 

Arien stood high in the sky and her rays burned through his clothes, searing his flesh. He was thirsty, and watched, miserably, when Curufin and Celegorm splashed their faces with water. Several servants groaned, as they were thirsty as well, but the water would be rationed until they reached Maedhros and Maglor’s keep.

 

It would be a long and exhausting walk.

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

Maglor walked into the courtyard after seeing his brothers’ approach. When their request to be allowed to stay with him had reached him, he had wanted to decline, but Maedhros had reminded him that they were blood and that brothers shouldn’t desert each other. With great reluctance he had given in, allowing them to take up residence with Maedhros and him.

 

Curufin and Celegorm had been forced to leave their realms due to their aggressive and dishonorable actions and their need for shelter had put Maglor in the position to dictate some conditions. One of them was that Erestor would become his personal servant. He wanted the younger Elf away from his abusive brothers.

 

His two brothers dismounted and Maglor forced himself to calmly welcome them. Then he turned to Maedhros, who would show their brothers to their assigned quarters. Now that Curufin and Celegorm had disappeared inside the keep, his eyes searched for Erestor.

 

When he finally laid eyes on Erestor, a distressed sigh left his lips. The former Elfling hadn’t changed much. Long, raven hair framed a pale, bruised face. The long strands were still unbraided and slightly tangled. The large, doe-like eyes looked haunted and black circles had formed beneath them. Although Erestor had long reached his majority he was too small for his age – too frail. Looking closer, he noticed that the younger Elf limped. Apparently, his brothers still enjoyed tormenting Erestor, but he vowed to put a stop to that.

 

“Erestor, join me over here!” As he had been closely watching Erestor, he caught the happiness and joy that appeared in the chocolate eyes upon hearing his voice. Had his brothers already told Erestor about his new task? Knowing his brothers, he reckoned not, as they wanted Erestor to feel intimidated as long as possible.

 

Erestor smiled for the first time in decades, seeing Maglor signal for him to approach. He stopped himself from flinging himself at his former protector, knowing such behavior was inappropriate in public. “Uncle Maglor…”

 

Maglor smiled; he still remembered the last time Erestor had called him that. Erestor had cried when he had left. “Walk with me, pen-neth.”

 

Erestor wavered. “But Curufin and—“

 

Maglor cut him short. “You are no longer their servant. You serve me now.”

 

Erestor’s eyes mirrored his confusion. “I do not understand.” What was Maglor talking about?

 

“One condition for them to be allowed to live with me was that they released you in to my care. I am now responsible for you. Curufin and Celegorm will never hurt you again.” Maglor wasn’t prepared for the impact his words had on Erestor and suddenly found his arms filled with a distressed Elf. “Hush now, I mean it. I am not playing games.”

 

“I never thought… Had stopped to hope… When Feanor died and I had to live with them… I…”Unable to finish his sentences, he pressed closer to the elder Elf. “I was afraid… to hope… that you had not forgotten about me.”

 

“I understand, pen-neth. Believe me when I say that things will change from now on.” He didn’t tell Erestor the rest of his plans yet, seeing how overwhelmed the younger Elf was. “Come, let me attend to those bruises and other injuries you are hiding, and then I will send you to your room with a tray filled with food.”

 

“My room?” Erestor’s already big eyes widened impossibly. “My own room?”

 

“Aye.” Maglor smiled. /For the time being. I want you as far away from Curufin and Celegorm as possible./

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

Erestor tried hard to hide his discomfort, now that Maglor was examining his injured foot. The elder Elf could do little against the bruising, but his injured foot was a different matter. After thoroughly examining the poor limb, Maglor was binding it now, finally giving it the support it needed.

 

“Try not to walk for the next few days, Erestor.” Maglor put away the bandages and gave Erestor a stern look. “That foot needs rest.”

 

“How do I do that? I need to do my chores and—“

 

“No more chores for you, at least not until your foot has healed.” Maglor pushed his arms beneath Erestor’s back and knees and easily lifted the underweight Elf. “And you will eat everything I put in front of you, is that understood?”

 

Embarrassed at being the center of attention, Erestor nodded timidly. “I will try.” He had no idea what was happening with him. No one had ever fussed over him before. Well, his mother might have, but his memories of her had faded with the years.

 

Maglor carried Erestor to the bed and lay him down. “Are you comfortable?”

 

“Is this my room?” He’d had never had his own room before. He had always shared quarters with the servants.

 

“For now, aye.”

 

Shivers suddenly traveled down Erestor’s spine. “For now? I won’t be allowed to stay here, then?” Of course not! He had been deluding himself! But if that was the case, why was Maglor being this nice to him?

 

“Nay, I did not mean it like that!” Seeing Erestor’s fears return, Maglor did his best to soothe the upset Elf. “You will leave shortly, because I do not want you anywhere near my abusive brothers. They tormented you for too many years. I need to know you safe someplace else.”

 

“Where am I going, then?” Erestor didn’t like this. He wanted to stay here with Maglor; the only one he had ever trusted! His fingers wanted to claw at Maglor’s shirt, but he quickly stopped himself, realizing how pathetic he would look to the elder Elf.

 

“I want you to eat this and then you will go to sleep,” said Maglor, putting the tray on Erestor’s lap. “Eat everything on that tray! I will be back with some hot milk in a few minutes. Hopefully it will help you fall asleep.”

 

Erestor watched Maglor leave his room and then stared at the tray. “He cannot mean that! I cannot eat all this!” He wasn’t even sure what kind of food this was! He had lived on bread, cheese and water. And this food was hot! His food was never hot!

 

Awkwardly using the fork -- as he wasn’t accustomed to using one -- he managed to place a piece of meat in his mouth. He sighed; the taste was fabulous and he dove in, cleaning the plate just as Maglor had told him to. On the tray were also several pieces of fruit and he greedily buried his teeth in a juice pear. The sweet juice dribbled down his chin and he wiped it away with his sleeve.

 

He had never before felt this full and he leaned back into the pillows. Maglor was spoiling him! Growing tired, his eyes began to darken and grow dull. He was quickly falling asleep.

 

And that was exactly how Maglor found him. The tray balanced precariously on Erestor’s lap, and the fingers were buried in the sheets. The empty expression in the unfocused eyes told him that Erestor had lost his battle against his sleep. “I do not think you need this hot milk after all.” He would drink it himself then. Seating himself on the side of the bed, he placed the tray on the floor and studied Erestor. The younger Elf looked vulnerable, malnourished and neglected. But that would change.

 

He had already sent word to Elwing and Eärendil and they had agreed to take Erestor under their wing. Now that the twins had been born, the parents needed extra help, and hearing that Erestor was a gifted healer had worked to his advantage as well. He would tell Erestor the good news tomorrow when the younger Elf was rested.

 

“Sleep now. You are tired.”

 

Erestor struggled to wake up again, but failed. “Do not… want to… sleep.”

 

“You are exhausted. Sleep.” Maglor soothingly caressed his charge’s hair. “I wish I had gotten you away from them earlier. They already did so much damage.” But Erestor no longer heard him. The younger Elf was sound asleep.

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

“Where are you sending me?” Erestor still didn’t know what to think of this. When he had woken up Maglor had presented him with a set of new clothes. He was now wearing a brown shirt, black leggings and soft leather boots – though putting them on had been a struggle, as his bandaged foot refused to fit in there.

 

“To the Havens of Sirion, where Elwing and Eärendil live. They have just had twins and need someone reliable to look after them. The fact that you are also a healer made their decision easier to let you watch over them. You will mostly deal with Elwing, as her husband Eärendil is often away, sailing. They will shelter you in turn for watching their twins. That way, you will be out of my brothers’ reach.”

 

Seeing Erestor’s sad expression, Maglor said, “You do understand why I am sending you away, don’t you, pen-neth? If it were up to me, I would keep you here, treat you like a son, but my brothers’ presence makes that impossible.” Maglor pleaded with Erestor to understand. “If I kept you here they would find other ways to harass you.”

 

In his heart, Erestor knew Maglor’s words to be true. “I appreciate what you are doing for me, but… I had hoped I could stay here – with you. You are the only friend I ever had.”

 

“You will make new friends, Erestor,” said Maglor warmly. “Elwing’s twins are still mere babies, but one day they will grow up into fine young warriors. The fact that you took care of them will create a strong bond. You will have friends. Trust me on this.”

 

“I will go to the Havens of Sirion, then.” Erestor’s heart felt heavy now that he had to leave Maglor again. “I wish I could stay though.”

 

“I know you do. And you won’t travel alone. One of my men will take you there.” Maglor rested a hand on Erestor’s shoulder. The younger Elf looked better after a good night’s sleep and he hoped Erestor would continue to grow stronger once he was away from Celegorm and Curufin.

 

“When do you want me to leave?” Erestor plucked at his sleeve, feeling nervous and insecure. He knew no one at the Havens of Sirion.

 

“Tomorrow morning. My brothers will celebrate tonight and much wine will flow. I want you to stay here in your room and lock the door. Make sure no one enters. I do not know how quickly they will learn about my plans for you, and as they are unpredictable, I do not want to find out their reactions to this news whilst you are still here.”

 

“I will keep my door locked,” promised Erestor softly. “Will I see you again before I have to leave?”

 

“Maybe.” Maglor gently squeezed the younger Elf’s shoulder. “Make me proud of you, like a father would be of his son. Be kind to Elwing and obey her. Although she is still very young, she is also very wise, as well as protective, now that she is a mother. I would not be surprised to learn she would mother you as well.”

 

That last sentence actually made Erestor smile. “Thank you for everything. You saved my life.”

 

“I am glad I could be of service. Though it is much too late. You never deserved such cruel treatment, pen-neth.” He rose from his chair, briefly hugged Erestor and then marched out of the room. “Lock the door behind me!” he said on his way out.

 

Erestor obeyed, quickly locking the door. His life was about to change again and this time hopefully for the better.

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

Rhoss, one of the few guards Maglor trusted unconditionally, would escort Erestor on his journey. The warrior would also remain at the Havens, to become Elwing’s personal guard. That way, Maglor reckoned that Rhoss could keep an eye on Erestor as well.

 

Maglor had found a moment to say his final goodbyes and joined them. Erestor and Rhoss had already mounted and Maglor could tell that the youngest Elf was nervous. Erestor had probably never before been on horseback. “Travel slowly,” he said, addressing Rhoss. “There is no need to rush.”

 

The warrior nodded in understanding. “And maybe you would like me to teach him some basic survival skills?”

 

“Teach him after you arrived in the Havens. This is a very confusing time for him.”

 

Rhoss nodded again. “I will make sure he gets there in one piece and introduce him to Elwing and Eärendil.”

 

“They are expecting you.” Maglor now turned to Erestor. The Elf still looked like a child to him. “Elwing is a very kind woman. She will treat you well. Your life will change for the better once you live with her.”

 

“I hope so,” whispered Erestor softly. “Wish I did not have to leave you to get a better life.” Although several Elves, including Rhoss, were looking at him, Erestor leaned in closer, giving Maglor one last hug.

 

Feeling Erestor’s arms around his neck, Maglor smiled and patted the back, making sure Erestor didn’t accidentally fall from the back of the horse. “May Elbereth bless you and keep you safe on this journey.”

 

Erestor controlled the tears that swam in his eyes, maintaining a calm front, but inwardly, he was screaming. He didn’t want to leave the one Elf who cared for him.

 

But then Maglor gave the sign and Rhoss steered his horse toward the road. Erestor’s horse followed instinctively. Looking over his shoulder, Erestor waved at Maglor in goodbye. His gaze briefly shifted to Maglor’s right, catching sight of Celegorm, who was glaring at him in loathing.

 

/Maglor was right. My life would have been hellish if I had stayed here. I have to leave./ Maglor’s form grew smaller and eventually faded from his view. Patting the horse’s neck, he hoped he would find some measure of peace serving Elwing.

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

“Rhoss? What is that?” During their journey Erestor had come to somewhat trust the warrior, as Rhoss was always kind and patient with him. That beginning trust was also why he now dared to ask this question.

 

“That is lots of water!” said Rhoss teasingly, having long ago decided that this young Elf was much too serious and shy. When he had begun to make some teasing remarks Erestor had withdrawn into himself, but now the younger Elf was growing more confident and actually smiled at his teasing.

 

“I know,” said Erestor, grinning.

 

“That is the river Sirion,” explained Rhoss patiently, “And that is the bay of Balar. This will be our home for quite some time.”

 

Erestor loved the way Arien’s golden rays were reflected by the water and his eyes widened, seeing the ships that traveled down the river. The Havens were a marvelous sight and he nearly lost himself in his admiration for the beautifully crafted ships. The houses, build from wood and stone, housed busy Elves. He instantly liked this place. The soft breeze, coming from the water, played with his hair and he quickly covered his mouth after releasing a pleased giggle. He just didn’t giggle, never!

 

Rhoss laughed warmly and then urged his horse to continue.

 

Erestor found they were heading for one of the larger houses, which was completely made from stone, except for the roof, which carried straw. The closer they got, the more scents he was able to identify. Someone was cooking a delicious meal. And then there was joyful laughter, coming from inside the house. It was a women’s voice.

 

“Nay, Elrond, do not do that! Elros, stay here!”

 

“That must be Elwing,” whispered Erestor in surprise. For the very first time it registered with him that this *was* his new home. He hoped he would be happy here.

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

“My Lady? This is Erestor. Lord Maglor already told you about him.” Rhoss had taken it upon himself to introduce them.

 

Elwing nodded, shifting one impatient twin from one arm to the other. “Aye, he sent me a letter.”

 

Erestor had first stared at the floor, uncertain how to act around her, but her sweet and kind voice made him look at her. She was beautiful. Long, raven- haired with big gray eyes, she didn’t radiate the authority Erestor had expected to find in her. Instead, she appeared caring and loving to him, judging by the way she was holding her sons. One of the boys was tugging at her braids and the other was trying to crawl off of her lap. They were obviously a handful, but Elwing just smiled at them. Erestor instantly liked her.

 

“I would love to help,” said Erestor, priding himself with the fact that he sounded calm.

 

“Maglor also told me you have some healing skills,” said Elwing. “Elbereth knows we need them. These two always get themselves into trouble. Yesterday, Elros crawled out of the room and Elrond followed – of course. I reached them just in time, as they were about to pull at our goat’s tail. The poor animal would not have liked that and might have retaliated. I need an extra watchful eye directed on them.”

 

“I will do my best,” said Erestor, smiling at the babies.

 

Seeing Erestor’s expression, Elwing asked, “You have never seen babies before?”

 

Erestor blushed slightly. Celegorm and Curufin only allowed females close who were without child. But of course they got pregnant after a while and then they were sent back to their elders. “I have never seen babies before.”

 

“As you can see, these two are twins.” Elwing signaled for Erestor to come closer. “This is Elrond, the younger of the two, but also the most curious one. Open your arms and hold him.”

 

Erestor wanted to protest, afraid he would drop the baby, but Elwing persisted. She showed him how to support the baby’s head and he felt a bit more secure holding Elrond. “He is cute.” Elrond was staring at him with big grayish-blue eyes and then opened his tiny hand to grab his finger.

 

“He likes you,” said Elwing pleased. She rose from the chair and walked over to a door in the back. “This is your room, next to the babys’ and mine.”

 

Erestor followed suit and swallowed hard, finding the room pleasantly decorated with paintings of the sea. “Thank you, my Lady. You are very kind.”

 

“Remember that when the twins cry their lungs out,” said Elwing goodheartedly. “Will you help me bathe them?” She hoped Erestor would take over certain tasks as she felt exhausted. The twins were four years old now and constantly kept her busy.

 

“Please show me what to do.” Erestor followed Elwing to the bathroom, all the time staring at the tiny Elfling in his arms. Was it just his imagination or were Elrond’s eyes twinkling at him? /You really are cute. And aye, I think I am going to be happy here, looking after you and your brother./

 

TBC

 

Beta read by Sulien.

All remaining mistakes are mine.

 

Heart in Chains.

Part 3.

 

 

“Elros, do not do that. That is mud! Dirt! Do not throw it at… Elrond.” Erestor sighed, finally understanding why Elwing had been so exhausted when Rhoss and he had arrived. The twins seldom slept, were always moving about and Elros especially had a wicked streak. Elrond was the calmer, more serious one. That was probably the very reason why Elros had decided to throw several handfuls of mud at his twin, who until now had put up little to no resistance.

 

After watching Elwing take care of the twins for some weeks, she judged he was ready to handle them for one hour. She had told him to take them outside and play with them in the gardens, but then Elros had crawled away and found the pool of mud.

 

“Now I have to clean up your brother.” But he couldn’t let Elros out of sight either. That meant picking up them both and taking them to the bathroom. “Elrond, please behave, whilst I stop your naughty twin.”

 

Erestor saw the handful of mud that was aimed at his face too late and the cold substance hit him on his right eye. “Elros!” Removing some of the wet earth from his face, his gaze traveled to Elrond, hoping the younger twin didn’t plan on imitating his brother. “You are a good boy,” said Erestor soothingly, seeing Elrond look at Elros in irritation. “At least you are not throwing mud at me.”

 

“Are they giving you trouble?”

 

Hearing a strange, male voice, Erestor reacted at once. Determined to protect the twins, he pulled Elrond behind him and picked Elros up from the muddy ground. “Who are you? What are you doing here? What do you want?” He took in the stranger’s appearance, wondering why he hadn’t heard the Elf approach. Maybe it was because he was no longer as tense as he used to be when living with Celegorm and Curufin.

 

The dark-haired Elf’s probing gaze worried Erestor and he tried to shield the twins from the stranger’s looks. “What do you want?”

 

“Ada!” Elrond, who had felt scared because Erestor had reacted that oddly, had finally looked up, uttering one of the few words he had already learned. “Ada!” Enthusiastically, he began to half walk, half crawl toward Eärendil.

 

“You are their father?” Erestor still felt reluctant to trust the stranger, but seeing Elrond’s warm smile and the eagerness with which the Elfling grabbed hold of his father’s leg, he gave in, putting Elros back onto the ground.

 

“Aye, I am Eärendil,” said the dark-haired Elf. His blue eyes sparkled like clear water and he quickly lifted his sons in his arms. “Ah, I missed the two of you!”

 

Elros was cooing happily and Elrond tried to get his arms around his father’s neck, failing of course, as his arms were much too short. Erestor found himself smiling, sensing the twins’ pleasure at being reunited with their father.

 

Elwing, who had seen her husband walk into the gardens, joined them and giggled, seeing the state Erestor and Elrond were in. Smiling at Eärendil, she intertwined their fingers and smoothed back Elros’ tangled hair. “Erestor, why don’t you clean yourself and Elrond up, and then join us for dinner in half an hour?”

 

Erestor blushed weakly. From the first day on, Elwing had treated him like a friend, maybe even as a younger brother, but never as a servant. He still remembered the first time she had invited him to have dinner with her. He had been rendered speechless and had later apologized for not saying a single word all evening long. The truth was that he had been overwhelmed by her friendliness.

 

Nodding, he accepted Elrond into his arms when Eärendil handed him the youngest twin. “This won’t take long.” As he turned around to head for the house, he heard Eärendil laughing and Elwing lecturing Elros. /This is a happy family./ And he began to feel part of it.

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

After sitting Elrond down on the cupboard Erestor took hold of a washing cloth and a bar of soap. After soaking the cloth in tepid water and creating lather, he moved the fabric over Elrond’s face, removing the mud. “Your brother is a lively one.” Elrond looked at him pensively, which made Erestor smile. “I have been called too serious by Rhoss many times, but you are even worse than me. Why are you looking at me like that?”

 

Elrond cocked his head and looked at him with large, gray eyes. Erestor smiled at the Elfling and continued to clean him up. “There. Fortunately Elros missed your clothes.”

 

Unexpectedly Elrond raised his right hand and pressed its palm in the mud that still clung to Erestor’s face. “Aiya.” Now he could start over again. “Give me your hand before you spread it all over yourself.”

 

Catching the Elfling’s gaze, he wondered about the mischief he read in the large gray orbs. “So you did that on purpose! You are a naughty little Elfling and you deserve to be punished!” Punishment always consisted of tickling, raspberries delivered to Elrond’s naked skin and more tickling. One minute later, Elrond was squirming happily, giggling and trying to avoid those tickling hands.

 

“Elrond likes you,” said Eärendil, who had decided to check on his youngest son. He liked what he was seeing. Elwing had chosen well when she had agreed to taking Erestor in. His wife had just told him how fond she had grown of Erestor and he wanted to thank the younger Elf for looking after the twins. But he wasn’t prepared to see the frightening panic in the younger Elf’s eyes upon addressing him. Apparently Erestor hadn’t heard him enter and felt intimidated.

 

Erestor reacted instinctively, finding himself in a small room with a much older Elf, and backed away from Eärendil. He had learned the hard way to be cautious around other Elves.

 

When Eärendil didn’t try to approach, Erestor gathered his courage. “I hope I cleaned him up satisfactorily.” Carefully, he picked up Elrond and then placed the Elfling in Eärendil’s arms.

 

“You still need to clean up yourself,” said Eärendil, careful to keep his tone warm and gentle. When he had read Maglor’s letter, he had read between the lines, realizing the real reason why Maglor was sending Erestor to live with them. He had met Maglor’s brothers once and had taken an instant dislike to them. “You might want to hurry as Elwing is already setting the table.”

 

Erestor nodded, feeling shy and hesitant. He hoped Eärendil understood that this wasn’t something personal. He just wasn’t comfortable around male Elves. “I will join you in a moment.”

 

Eärendil cradled Elrond, who was yawning tiredly, against his chest and left the bathroom, hoping Erestor would quickly join them. Elwing had grown very fond of the younger Elf in a very short time and now Eärendil was curious to find out for himself why Erestor made such excellent company.

 

In the bathroom, Erestor stared at his reflection in the mirror. “Calm down. Calm down. Eärendil is not like Curufin or Celegorm. He does not mean me any harm… I hope.”

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

Eärendil sat down at the table, watching Elwing place the twins in their crib. Elrond and Elros weren’t thrilled about that and their tiny fingers clung to her dress, trying to stop her from leaving.

 

“You need to sleep.” Elwing sat down and resorted to the one thing that could get them to sleep. She sang them a lullaby.

 

Eärendil got up from the table and went into the kitchen to check on their food. Elwing had never wanted many servants around, preferring to do things herself. But Erestor seemed to have changed her mind and he thanked the younger Elf for that. At times he felt like she was doing too much, and now with the twins around Elwing would exhaust herself.

 

“What is your impression of Erestor? He has been taking care of the little ones for some weeks now and it looks like they are smitten with him.” Eärendil had waited for Elwing to stop singing and now slung an arm around her waist. Looking into the crib, he found that Elros was asleep, but Elrond wasn’t. But at least the youngest twin was quiet and giving them a moment of peace and quiet.

 

Elwing, seeing that her husband had already carried the food to the table, seated herself opposite him. After making sure that Erestor was still in the bathroom, she said, “I like him. He has a good heart, is kind and very protective of the twins.” She paused momentarily, giving her husband a thoughtful look. “But I also worry for him. He is easily startled and intimidated, barely shows any initiative and…” She was forced to stop talking when Erestor shyly shuffled over to the table. “Sit down, mellon, and eat with us.”

 

Eärendil caught the confusion in the younger Elf’s eyes at being called a friend. /I will write Maglor tonight. I have many questions concerning this one./

 

Erestor gingerly seated himself, occasionally glancing nervously at Eärendil, which the elder Elf found disconcerting. Erestor obviously didn’t feel safe with him close. /Caranthir, Curufin and Celegorm have a reputation for being cruel, rash and aggressive. If he lived with them I understand why he is acting this way and why Maglor asked us to take Erestor in. But I want to know for sure./

 

“Would you keep an eye on the twins tonight?” It took Eärendil several moments before he finally managed to make eye contact with Erestor. The misery, pain and fear in the large eyes tore at his soul.

 

“Of course, that is why I am here; to take care of them,” Erestor almost tripped over his own words, rambling in an effort to hide his nervousness.

 

“Good, for I want to spend the evening with my beautiful wife,” said Eärendil, pleased that Erestor would look after their children. “I am surprised however, that you find the company of two babies satisfactory. Isn’t it about time you took a mate?”

 

Erestor nearly choked on his vegetables. “Mate?” Open-mouthed, he stared at Eärendil in shock. He had never before thought of finding himself a mate. For too many decades his life had been ruled by Feanor and his menacing sons. What was he supposed to say to that? “I am still too young to bind myself to someone,” Erestor said eventually, hoping Eärendil wouldn’t push the matter.

 

Eärendil reckoned Erestor was already several hundred years old, and that wasn’t too young to be bonded. But, it was Erestor’s decision eventually. He could merely try to give the younger a nudge in what he considered the right direction.

 

“We should eat now.” Elwing smiled, a bit embarrassed when her stomach growled. The twins kept her busy, and she had used up her energy reserves.

 

Erestor looked at the food on his plate. Living near the water meant they ate sea food most of the time, and although he had found it funny tasting in the beginning, he was now getting used to it. He was wondering what they would be eating this time.

 

Seeing his questioningly expression, Elwing gladly explained. “’Tis trout, Erestor, griddled trout with fresh herbs. Try it, I am sure you will like it.”

 

Erestor broke off a piece of freshly baked bread, instantly smelling the rosemary she had added to the dough before baking it. Taking his first bite of the trout, his eyes widened when his taste buds tingled and then exploded.

 

Eärendil couldn’t help finding Erestor’s expression amusing and laughed warmly. Erestor looked like he had never eaten something like this before. He and his wife watched in amusement as Erestor cleaned his plate in minutes. It looked like he was about to *lick* it clean and Eärendil quickly exchanged a look with Elwing. “It seems Erestor is still hungry.”

 

Elwing smiled, pleased that Erestor was beginning to put some meat on his bones. When the younger Elf had arrived, he had been much too thin for her taste. When she had finished as well, she got up from the table and carried another, slightly larger plate to the table.

 

Erestor’s toes curled, inhaling the sweet scent. What was it this time?

 

“Round pastries basted in honey,” said Eärendil, licking his lips. This was one of his favorites.

 

Elwing placed a pastry on each plate and watched them devour them. She nipped from her glass of wine, once more noticing that Erestor didn’t touch his and preferred water instead. Whenever he looked at the carafe filled with red wine, a frown formed on his brow. /I wonder who drank so much wine that he is wary of it./

 

“’Tis… delicious,” moaned Erestor in divine pleasure, regretting the fact that delicious was such an inapt way of describing this delight.

 

“Here, have another one.” Elwing placed a second pasty on his plate, enjoying watching him eat. When Eärendil reached for her hand, she intertwined their fingers again, lovingly rubbing the skin. As Eärendil was away often, she cherished the moments that he was at home. She was already looking forward to walking the gardens with him tonight and maybe he would take her down to the Havens to watch the sunset.

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

“Aiya, Elros, behave.” Erestor had uncovered their favorite toys once the twins’ minds were set on creating havoc, but Elros’ idea of fun was stealing away his brother’s little boat.

 

“Mine!” Elrond suddenly lunged for his boat and pulled it out of his twin’s hands.

 

“Elrond, that is not a nice thing to do.” Erestor sighed, wondering if these two would ever give him a moment’s rest. The twins were never apart, and when they found it necessary they teamed up against him. Erestor had found that Elros was usually the one to instigate some mischief and then Elrond would follow his twin’s lead. “Look, it is an octopus!” The ‘octopus’ was made of soft brown fabric, with eight long legs and a big, bobbing head. It was Elros’ favorite toy.

 

Elros reached for it, buried his tiny fingers around two legs and then pretended to attack Elrond with it. Elrond shrieked and Erestor quickly provided the youngest twin with his defense. The youngest twin closed his fingers around the blue dolphin, which was slightly larger than his brother’s octopus and a fierce battle between the two toys -- and boys -- erupted.

 

Erestor leaned back and watched them. They were occupied with their play and he could ‘rest’ for one moment.

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

Elwing pressed a finger across her lips, signaling for her husband to stop talking.

 

Eärendil smiled, seeing the twins had fallen asleep in Erestor’s arms. Well, they had obviously exhausted Erestor, and all three of them had fallen asleep on the floor amidst an arena of toys. “I will put them in their crib.”

 

“Should I wake Erestor?”

 

“He will wake up when I remove our handfuls from his arms,” said Eärendil knowingly. He could sense the tight bond that was developing between Erestor and his children. It was good to know they were well-cared for during his absence and that Elwing had help raising them.

 

The moment he removed Elrond from Erestor’s arms, the sleeping Elf stirred, Erestor instinctively tightening his hold on Elros, who was still cradled against his chest.

 

Eärendil placed Elrond in the crib and then returned to get Elros as well. Erestor’s eyes filled with alertness, and Eärendil could tell the younger Elf was ready to defend the child if necessary. “Peace, ‘tis only I.”

 

Erestor nodded tiredly. The twins had worn him down. “They are so energetic.”

 

Elwing giggled, agreeing full-heartedly. “And they will get worse.”

 

“Aiya, no,” Erestor whispered in mock shock. “They are little monsters.”

 

“Elros is,” said Eärendil teasingly, “Especially when he is close to any mud!”

 

Laughing warmly, Erestor felt honored to be part of their little family.

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

“Elrond? What are you doing here?” Erestor stared at the Elfling in surprise. How had the four year old managed to get out of his crib?

 

Elrond cocked his head, opened his arms, reached for the side of Erestor’s bed and climbed onto it.

 

Erestor, afraid that Elrond might fall, quickly gathered the Elfling in his arms. “Pen-neth, you cannot come into my room like that. When your parents notice you are missing, they will panic, and we do not want that.” He planned on taking Elrond back and tucking him in again.

 

But the youngest twin had different ideas. “Naya,” Elrond mumbled, still struggling to learn to pronounce words. “Staya”

 

“You cannot stay here, Elrond.” Erestor searched the child’s face, wishing Elrond was old enough to tell him why he had sought him out. “Is it something Elros did?”

 

Elrond slowly shook his head and then proceeded to snuggle up to Erestor. “Staya.” He hoped he had finally made his point and that the elder Elf understood that he wanted to stay.

 

But Erestor wasn’t going to give in. “Your Nana and Ada will be upset when they cannot find you. I have to take you back.”

 

“Naya!” With one hand Elrond clawed at the material of Erestor’s night shirt and fiercely shook his head. Making it even harder for Erestor to lift him, he tightly snatched the sheet in his other hand. “Staya!”

 

Erestor realized that arguing with a four year old wouldn’t get him anywhere, so he carefully tried to pry Elrond’s fingers loose from the sheet and his night shirt. “You need to sleep in the crib, pen-neth, and not with me.” The piercing look Elrond gave him told him the Elfling didn’t agree.

 

“Let him stay for the night if his presence does not bother you,” said Eärendil, who was standing in the doorway.

 

Erestor gasped in surprise and his eyes frantically studied the elder Elf’s face for signs that Eärendil was angry with him, but the twins’ father was smiling instead. “He does not bother me.”

 

“Elros managed to climb into our bed, snuggling up to his mother. I do not know why they left their crib, or why Elrond sought you out instead, but I am inclined to let him sleep here. I do not want to upset him further by returning him to an empty crib. Elros has a similar hold on my wife and I could not pry him loose either.”

 

Erestor found he had involuntarily kept his breath during Eärendil’s speech, and now sighed, relieved. Apparently Eärendil approved of Elrond sleeping in his bed tonight and he wasn’t sure how to react to that. He had to admit that he enjoyed cradling Elrond in his arms, but he was just the minder, and not one of the Elfling’s parents. Elrond should have gone to Elwing as well.

 

“I brought his blanket and one of his toys.” Eärendil quickly scanned Erestor’s rooms with his eyes and felt a bit worried, seeing the younger Elf had added nothing to the room. It was like no one lived here. Didn’t Erestor have any personal belongings?

 

Erestor gave in. “I will keep an eye on him, but I wonder what happened that the twins went separate ways.”

 

Eärendil tucked the soft blanket around Elrond’s tiny form and his son immediately pulled it up to his shoulders. “I will allow this once, Elrond, but tomorrow night you have to sleep in the crib with your brother.”

 

Elrond pouted at first, but then accepted the marvelously colored Wentletrap shell his father gave him. He placed it against his ear and slowly fell asleep, listening to the calming sounds of the sea.

 

“I do not think he will cause problems now that he is asleep, but taking him back to his crib would wake him again.” Eärendil smiled kindly, seeing the distress -- shock almost, in Erestor’s eyes. “You will get used to them sneaking into your bed. They might not have done it to you before, but my wife and I find them sleeping in between us on a regular base.”

 

“I will keep the door locked then.” The moment he had spoken the words, Erestor realized he had said the wrong thing – according to Eärendil at least. He could see the disappointment in the other Elf’s eyes, but why was it there? He quickly tried to explain, “Elwing and you are their parents. It is not right that Elrond comes to me instead.”

 

“Ah, is that it?” Eärendil finally began to understand. “We are not keeping score here, pen-neth. If Elrond prefers you to hold him tonight, I do not feel envious of his choice. He is a child and all children look for love and affection. I watched them when they were around you today. They like you, and Elrond especially is fond of you. Accept and enjoy their affection, Erestor. They give it because they want to, and Elwing and I know they do not love us less for liking you.”

 

Eärendil’s words slightly reassured Erestor and he felt he had to make some admission of his own. “I… never… I grew up alone. I was not allowed near my mother and… I do not even know if she is still alive. Elros and Elrond remind me of that. I want them to feel loved because I never did, but I do not want to take anything away from you. I feel… torn.”

 

“Don’t. There is no reason to feel like that. My wife already considers you part of our family and I think you know that as well. You just have a hard time accepting you found a place where you fit in, where you feel welcome and wanted. That will change with time. If my instincts are right, I reckon you never felt loved before and this is a novel experience.”

 

“Maglor cared about me. He made sure I got away from them… They weren’t kind.”

 

Eärendil nodded in understanding. “Some of Feanor’s offspring are as ill-tempered as he was.” He slowly walked back to the doorway, knowing Elrond safe and sound asleep. “I am leaving tomorrow and I want to ask you to look after Elwing as well. She tends to overestimate herself and then exhausts herself.”

 

“I will look after all three of them,” promised Erestor, surprised, but honored, that Eärendil thought he could take care of the sailor’s family. “I won’t disappoint you.”

 

“I know you won’t.” Eärendil closed the door behind him and returned to their bed, curling protectively around his wife and son, and quickly falling asleep.

 

Erestor rearranged Elrond in his arms until the small Elfling was perfectly comfortable. Doing something he had never done before, he pressed a chaste kiss on the child’s dark hair. “Sleep tight and may Elbereth grant you pleasant dreams.”

 

Erestor finally felt no longer alone; like he belonged. Maybe Eärendil was right and had he found the family he had always wanted. Sighing deeply, he already knew he would regret having to fall asleep without Elrond in his arms the next evening.

 

 

TBC

 

Beta read by Sulien.

All remaining mistakes are mine.

 

Heart in Chains.

Part 4.

 

 

Elwing waved at her husband, when his ship -- the Vingilot -- disappeared at the horizon. She had hoped he would stay for a longer period of time, but his restlessness and the urge to find Valinor had gotten the better of him. She consoled herself with the fact that they’d had a few days of peace and happiness together. She rested her fingertips on the Silmaril -- the Nauglamir -- and gently caressed the perfect jewel, which she wore in a necklace beneath her clothes, hidden from curious eyes.

 

It was time to return to the house and let the twins distract her. At times she wondered if she would have survived being separated this often from her husband if he hadn’t given her the twins. The boys made her happy and filled her lonely days with mischief and love. And now she had Erestor’s company as well. She sincerely liked the dark-haired Elf, but had also noticed how timid and uncertain he was. It made her wonder what had previously happened to him. Her husband had told her that he had written Maglor and she was now eagerly waiting for a reply.

 

Leaving the cliff she had been standing on, she returned to her house, and came upon Erestor and the twins in the gardens, where they were playing. She was relieved to see that Erestor had put them far away from the mud and Elros was behaving for a change. The boy probably missed his father already. /I need to cheer them up./

 

Erestor looked up at her when she came to a standstill in front of them. Her beauty always took his breath away. The long, dark hair, which she wore loose, danced on her back and her chocolate eyes also showed golden specks. Elrond and Elros were fortunate to have her for their mother.

 

“Eärendil and I gathered sea shells last night,” she said, sitting on her heels next to Elrond, who loved to examine their texture and listen to the sea, echoing in the shells. “Would you like to see them?”

 

Elrond nodded at once. A serious expression – which seemed somewhat odd for one as young as he was – appeared on his face. He then reached for Erestor, awkwardly curled his arm around the Elf’s neck and clung to him, making it very clear that he wanted Erestor to carry him.

 

Elwing smiled warmly and gathered Elros in her arms, whilst watching Erestor’s timid expression change into one of fear. /Elrond, you can sense it as well. Erestor needs your love more than I do at this moment./ She had realized long ago how sensitive and intelligent her youngest was.

 

Erestor felt somewhat nervous, cradling Elrond against his chest. Eärendil might have told him that he didn’t mind that Elrond liked him that much, but he still felt like he was trespassing, taking something away from Elwing.

 

“Erestor, follow me inside.” Elwing guided him into the kitchen, where Eärendil had deposited the bundle filled with seashells, which they had gathered last night. After sitting Elros down, Elwing opened the bundle and began to show the shells to her sons.

 

Elrond, who found it impossible to remain seated on Erestor’s lap, pushed himself to his feet and reached over the table to gather several shells in his tiny hand.

 

Erestor smiled at Elrond’s eagerness and helped him, when several shells proved to be out of the twin’s reach. The pleased smile Elrond gave him made him feel warm inside, and when his gaze locked with Elwing’s, he saw approval in her dark eyes. She had accepted him as part of her little family and for that he would be eternally grateful.

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

Weeks passed by peacefully and consisted of caring for the twins. Erestor had fully settled into his new daily routine and was truly happy for the first time in his life.

 

He was also afraid it wouldn’t last.

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

Erestor was on his way back from visiting the havens to buy several delicacies, which Elwing wanted to prepare for their next dinner when screams shattered the silence and made his worst nightmares come true. He started running toward the hill Elwing’s house was built upon and suddenly heard the terrified cries of the twins. Suddenly, mayhem erupted all around him.

 

From everywhere soldiers appeared, swarming the havens. A large group of them seemed concentrated around Elwing’s house and that made him increase his speed. He had no battle skills whatsoever, but he would die defending Elwing and the twins.

 

Recognizing some of the guards he shivered with fearful anticipation. /What are Maglor’s guards doing here? And why are they attacking these good people? Elwing! Elrond, Elros! Hold on!/

 

He had no idea how to defend himself when he flung himself into battle. He grabbed a sword, which had fallen onto the floor and blindly hacked away at the soldiers that were targeting the inhabitants of the Havens. Some of them had come to Elwing’s rescue, but were now paying a high price for their willingness to help.

 

Erestor could hardly believe what he was seeing. Maedhros had just slain Elwing’s gardener and was now heading toward the twins, who were sitting huddled in the corner of the room, holding each other tightly. “Nay, leave them alone.” He hadn’t fully registered yet that he was about to attack Maedhros himself, when a sharp blow to the back of his head sent him crashing into the floor. Panting softly, he lay there, unable to move at all.

 

A sea of screams erupted around him and the whimpers of the dying filled the kitchen area. He heard Elros wail pitifully and Erestor prayed to the Valar that the twins would remain uninjured. In the end, he lost his battle to remain consciousness.

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

When he woke next, the battle had long come to an end. Pushing himself onto his knees, he stared in horror at the dead bodies lying around him. Some belonged to Elves whom he had come to care for during these last few months. There was also Elwing’s gardener, the maid that sometimes assisted Elwing in the kitchens and…

 

His breath caught, recognizing two of Feanor’s sons. Amros and Amrod had been slain and a pool of blood had formed between the Elves’ bodies. Erestor’s eyes filled with tears. This was so wrong! Elves didn’t slay one another! How had this come to pass? And why had Maglor lead the attack?

 

Feeling nauseas at the sight of so many dead, he pushed himself to his feet, using his sword to support him. His gaze swiftly traveled to the corner of the room, hoping against all odds that the twins had been spared. But the blankets they had been sitting on were empty; the boys had been taken. He consoled himself with the fact that no blood showed on the fabric. Maybe Maglor had managed to stop more bloodshed and had taken the twins into his custody. /I hope so. I cannot believe Maglor is capable of murdering two innocent children./

 

Feeling sick to his stomach, he made his way through the kitchen and headed for Elwing’s room. He had to know what had happened to her. /Please, Elbereth, let her be alive!/ Someone as sweet and caring as Elwing didn’t deserve such cruel a fate. Opening the door to her room, he involuntarily halted in his tracks, whilst his eyes searched the room. There was no sign of Elwing and there weren’t any bloodstains either. He had to believe that she had somehow escaped.

 

“Aiya, Elbereth, why did you let this happen?” Now that he was back in the corridor, he had to carefully step over the dead bodies in order to make his way to the living area. He didn’t want to go there, but the healer in him urged him to check if anyone had survived. By using his healing powers he might be able to save a life.

 

When he came upon Rhoss’ body, he released a pained whimper. They hadn’t even spared their own! Crushed by this revelation, he collapsed onto his knees next to Rhoss’ body. He forced himself to calm down and his eyes widened, realizing the guard was still breathing shallowly. “Aiya, maybe I can help!”

 

Sweeping back the guard’s long auburn hair, he gasped loudly, finding the blade of a dagger deeply buried in the guard’s chest. /If I remove it, he will lose even more blood. Blood, which he can ill afford to lose!/ Torn, he curled his fingers around the hilt, keeping it in place.

 

“Rhoss? Can you hear me?” He searched the guard’s face, whilst he ensured the dagger remained deeply lodged in Rhoss’ chest. He had to guide his healing energy into the Elf’s body before he could even think about removing the dagger. “Rhoss? Meldir? Please talk to me?” He needed someone to reassure him in this hour of madness.

 

Rhoss managed to focus his gaze on Erestor and his heart was weighed down, seeing the younger Elf’s pain and horror. He wished he could do something to soothe Erestor, but the call of Mandos was growing stronger and he would enter the Great Halls in seconds. There was nothing he could do to comfort Erestor. As his eyes closed in death, he hoped Erestor would find the strength to survive this ordeal.

 

“Nay! You cannot leave me alone!” Shocked to see the guard’s inner light go out, Erestor fastened his hold on the dagger. “I won’t let you die!” But he was too late. Rhoss was already dead. He hung his head, grieving for his friend’s death, when the door was slammed open. A silver-haired Elf, dressed in silver and gray, advanced on him, aiming an arrow at his heart. The newcomer’s eyes flashed with anger and loathing, and Erestor realized that very moment which conclusion the other had reached.

 

He immediately let go of the hilt of the dagger and tried to explain. “I did nothing! I merely tried to help!” Despair washed over him, reading the hatred and distrust in the other’s eyes. “You have to believe me! I found him like this!”

 

“Keep your lying tongue in check,” growled Orophin. He had been the first of the rescue party to reach Elwing’s house, and although he was still shocked at finding a massacre had taken place, he tried to remain calm and controlled. “I should end your life, kinslayer, but I won’t stoop to your level. Rise from the floor and stay close to the wall, or I will bury my arrow in your chest.”

 

Too shocked to protest, Erestor obeyed. The sword he had been holding crashed onto the floor with a loud bang and he raised his hands, trying to plead with the silver-haired Elf. But then Erestor froze, finding that the hand that had held the dagger in place was covered with Rhoss’ blood. It was during that terrible moment that Erestor realized no one would ever believe him that he was innocent. “It is not what it looks like!”

 

“Keep your lies to yourself,” spat Orophin in loathing. He was under strict orders from his Lord not to take any lives, but right now, he wouldn’t mind ending this kinslayer’s life. The dark-haired Elf deserved to die!

 

“Orophin!” Rumil now joined his brother and stared in disbelief at the corpse at his feet. Then his gaze settled on Erestor –and the bloodstained hand. “Muindor-nîn, (brother-mine), what do you want me to do?”

 

The house was now swarming with silver-haired Elves, who were checking for survivors. Erestor wanted to tell Orophin again that he was innocent, but was stopped when a strong fist crushed into his face. He went down to his knees, but did not lose consciousness. His hands were bound tightly behind him and a bloodstained piece of cloth was pushed into his mouth, gagging him. His blurry eyes pleaded with the two Elves who now dragged him between them, but seeing their determined expression he knew convincing them of his innocence was impossible.

 

He was thrown onto the grass and when he looked up, he found he had been flung between the remains of Maglor’s guards. Even Amrod and Amros’ bodies had been gathered on this pile.

 

Shaking like a leaf and fearing for his life, he watched quietly as two new Elves appeared to his right. One of them was a she-Elf of incredible beauty and she vaguely seemed familiar to him. Her cold eyes reminded him of Feanor’s and he quickly shifted his gaze to the Elf standing next her. This Elf’s eyes showed compassion, regret and immense sorrow. Erestor bowed his head, unable to look at them any longer whilst his fate remained uncertain. What would they do to him?

 

“My Lord Celeborn? My Lady? Most of the kinslayers were already dead or have fled, but we found one alive.”

 

Erestor looked up at hearing the strained voice. A third Elf now stood with Orophin and Rumil. His long, silver hair glowed with Arien’s light and the hazel eyes were swimming with tears.

 

“Elwing and the twins are nowhere to be found. We must assume they were taken by Maglor.” Haldir tried to sound and appear distant and detached, but knew his eyes were giving his fierce emotions away. “My brother Orophin came upon this one,” and he pointed at Erestor, “who was still driving a dagger into the heart of one of Elwing’s personal guards. We await your judgment. What punishment do you deem suitable for such horrible a crime?”

 

Erestor’s heart pounded madly and in his despair, he managed to spit out the cloth that had kept him from talking. Before any of the silver-haired Elves could react, he pleaded urgently. “My Lord, my Lady, I had nothing to do with this slaying, Please enter my mind and convince yourself that I am innocent! Argh!” A boot crashed into his back and sent him crouching onto the grass. He was grabbed hard from behind and the gag was put back in place.

 

“This won’t happen again,” promised Haldir, upset that their prisoner had dared to address his Lord and Lady in that manner.

 

Galadriel glared at Erestor before addressing him. “I refuse to defile myself with your horrid memories, kinslayer. Keep them to yourself.”

 

Her chilling words crushed the little hope he had still left inside him. /They will condemn me for this. Will she order me killed?/ Gagged, all he could do was stare at her pleadingly.

 

“Husband,” Galadriel said, “What punishment do you deem just?”

 

Celeborn, still taken aback by the slaughter that had taken place, forced himself to react. It was beyond him how one Elf could slay another. All he knew was that this had to stop. “We will not slay one of our own.”

 

Galadriel’s eyes narrowed at that. “Death would be just punishment for what he did.”

 

“Nay, I won’t allow it,” said Celeborn steadfast. “The slaying will end here. We have to show that we are better than them. We must set an example.”

 

Galadriel seemed displeased, but didn’t openly object to her husband’s decision. “Life-long imprisonment, then.”

 

Saying ‘aye’ greatly burdened Celeborn’s soul, but he agreed to her ruling. “This one will be our responsibility from now on.” Looking about, he called the three brothers to him. “Haldir, Orophin, Rumil. It will be your task to guard this Elf. Make sure he does not flee. He is to be imprisoned for the rest of his life and you will act as his guards.”

 

Erestor’s world shattered into small pieces when Celeborn passed his judgment. /Nay, I did not kill Rhoss! I tried to help!/

 

“My Lord? We found one more of Feanor’s men. He is dying, but maybe you would like to talk to him.” One of the silver-haired sentries had brought the dying Noldorin Elf and now placed him at Celeborn’s feet.

 

Erestor’s eyes widened, recognizing the soldier as one of Celegorm’s confidants. When Celegorm had died, his men had joined Maglor’s. /And he knows me… I can see it in his eyes. What will he say?/ His heart thundered madly, hoping the guard would speak the truth in his dying hour.

 

Celeborn glared at the dying Noldorin Elf. “Why?”

 

“The Silmaril… It belongs to us.” Celegorm’s former confidant panted hard. Losing interest in Celeborn, his gaze settled on Erestor. “Ah, it has been a long time since we met, Erestor.”

 

Celeborn’s eyes narrowed. “You know him?”

 

“Finwe adopted him when he married Indis. Erestor is the son of her oldest sister… Kin!” he spat the word in disgust, recalling that Erestor and his mother had tried to flee. And now he had one last chance to make Erestor’s life even more miserable. “Erestor is Maglor’s right hand… His second in command…” His strength was leaving him fast, but he found delight in the fact that he had utterly ruined Erestor’s life.

 

Celeborn watched silently as the soldier released his last breath. Now that the guard was dead, he concentrated on Erestor again. “You are Finwe’s kin… and Feanor’s.” They had to be even more careful around Erestor now. Luckily Haldir and his brothers were excellent fighters. Looking Haldir in the eye, he said, “Guard him carefully.”

 

“We will,” replied Haldir. He wasn’t looking forward to carrying out his new task, but would do as Celeborn had bid. “He will pay for his foul deed for the rest of his life.”

 

Overwhelmed by everything that had happened to him, Erestor began to rock himself, sobbing softly. He hated showing his weakness, but his life had just been ruined. Never again would he experience happiness or bliss. /Aiya, Elwing, I hope you and your sons survived./

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

“Kinslayer…”

 

“Murderer!”

 

Erestor had long lowered his gaze and now stared at the ground, whilst Haldir and his brothers dragged him to a certain section of the improvised camp. Eyes filled with hatred were trained on him and he tried to make himself as small as possible when Orophin forced him onto his knees to tie his hands to a post that had been driven in the ground behind him. Bound and helpless, he listened closely, hearing Haldir move away from him.

 

No one interfered when the warriors began to spit at him in disgust. The occasional boot impacted with his back, making him flinch in pain.

 

But Haldir, Orophin and Rumil looked the other way as long as their prisoner wasn’t seriously injured. Their rulers’ verdict had been clear. Erestor was to stay alive, but imprisoned, and they couldn’t blame some of their fellows for feeling the way they did. Seeing so many Elves slain had enraged them and Erestor deserved to be punished for his part in the slaughter.

 

Erestor tried to curl up, but as his hands were tied to the wooden post, his space was limited, and in the end, he endured the enforced humiliation. His head bowed, he tried to recall Elwing’s soft voice, singing a lullaby to her sons. He had to survive… Somehow.

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

The next few days were hellish for Erestor. His hands remained tied and Orophin held the end of the rope in his hands, whilst driving his horse to greater speed. Having to run along was exhausting Erestor and he wasn’t sure how much longer he could endure this treatment.

 

At night, when the party made camp, he was given a small amount of water and some lembas to keep him alive, but he was forbidden to address his jailors. That first night, he had tried one more time to convince Orophin that the silver-haired Elf had reached the wrong conclusion, but the sentry had brutally pushed the gag back in place before he’d had the chance to drink his daily water ration.

 

Despair had long overwhelmed him and he realized that he would never taste freedom again. He had no idea where they were headed, but Celeborn and Galadriel had made it very clear that he was to remain with them for the rest of his life. They would make sure he never left and suffered in solitude.

 

His life would be a lonely one, with only misery keeping him company. Closing his eyes, he tried to shut out their voices, which were still calling him a kinslayer. Maybe he could lose himself inside his mind.

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

Celeborn and Galadriel settled down, erecting a temporary structure to house their people and he was confined to a room. At first he had wanted to rebel and protest to this injustice, but he quickly realized how useless that was. Their minds were set in stone, determined to make him pay for a crime he had never committed.

 

His three jailors hardly spoke with him and after a while, he grew used to the silence that surrounded him. At nights, he would dream of the twins, and listen to their happy giggling. Waking up each morning was pure torture, however.

 

After long years, Celeborn and Galadriel moved to another place, but his treatment remained the same. Year after year he spent in solitude, eating just enough to stay alive. As he was denied any distraction, he would sit in front of the only window of his room and stare outside, recalling the happy weeks, which he had spent with Elwing and the twins.

 

When Celeborn and Galadriel finally moved to Caras Galadhon, he quickly realized they planned to stay there. High in a mallorn tree, they confined him to his talan. Each morning one of the three bothers relieved the other, guarding him closely.

 

He lost track of time, and the only thing that told him that time was passing, was seeing the seasons change. He especially loved winter, when a virgin white blanket would cover the lands. He could stare at the dancing snowflakes for hours and it was his only joy in these endless years.

 

Finally, he gave up all hope, resigning himself to the fact that he would never be free again. During many nights, he found himself wishing he had died alongside Rhoss, and that he hadn’t visited the market that day. But the Valar had decided differently, condemning him to this mockery of life.

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

Erestor sat staring at the ancient trees, watching two birds building a nest. Spring had made the flowers blossom and Arien warmed Middle-Earth. It truly was the time to fall in love, build a nest, and raise little ones.

 

But not for him. Eternal winter remained in his heart.

 

Erestor was therefore shocked to see Galadriel and Celeborn enter his room unannounced. The two rulers seemed troubled, although they were doing their best to hide it from him. He forced himself to rise from his chair and to bow deeply. It had been ages since they had visited with him. When they had last, it had been to inform him that Lothlorien would be his prison for the rest of his life.

 

“Erestor, there is something we need to discuss with you.” Celeborn wasn’t sure this was the right decision, but they didn’t have a choice. During one of those first years of Erestor’s imprisonment, the dark-haired Elf had displayed impressive healing powers when a maiden had taken a fall. He had healed her and from that moment on, Galadriel had monitored him closely. Celeborn had sensed her interest in him, and knew she would use Erestor in whatever way she deemed necessary.

 

“Of course, my Lord.” His seldom used voice sounded alien to Erestor, as he stared at the floor, unwilling to meet their eyes. His skin crawled, like it always did when Galadriel was near.

 

Her soft, melodic voice suddenly floated through the room. “Would you like more privileges? Access to our library and the occasional stroll outside?”

 

Erestor’s eyes widened, and then he did look at her, but he wished he hadn’t. Her blue eyes were as cold as ice. “Aye, I would like more privileges.” But at what price would they come?

 

“Elrond Half-Elven, Gil-galad’s Herald, is grieving for the High-King’s death,” said Celeborn unexpectedly.

 

Erestor flinched, recalling holding Elrond when the Elfing would sneak into his bed. “I regret hearing that.”

 

“We already lost Gil-galad,” continued Celeborn calmly, “And we cannot afford to lose the Peredhel as well.”

 

Erestor had heard Gil-galad had fallen when defeating Sauron and like the others, he grieved for the High-King. But why were they now discussing this with him? /They want something from me./

 

“You are a healer,” started Galadriel, “As well as a kinslayer. But this time, you might use your powers for good instead of evil.”

 

Flinching at her cruel words, Erestor averted his eyes. He had long stopping trying to convince them of his innocence. “I will help in whatever way I can.”

 

“Elrond is fading because he grieves for his King… and lover,” said Galadriel, who carefully observed Erestor’s reaction.

 

/Lover?/ That idea was hard to reconcile with the fact that Erestor still remembered Elrond as a tiny Elfling.

 

“He will leave for the Great Halls of Waiting and we cannot allow that.” Galadriel took up pacing the room. “Elrond has lost his connection to life and we need to provide him with a new one. We cannot allow him to fade as we will need him in the future.”

 

Erestor’s stomach did a sickening somersault. What was it that she wanted?

 

“You are a gifted healer and your life energy could sustain Elrond, provide him with a link to Arda,” said Galadriel calmly. “We want you to bind yourself to Elrond.”

 

Erestor gasped in shock, seeking out Celeborn’s eyes, which were more compassionate than Galadriel’s. “What?”

 

“You will bind yourself to him and your life energy will help him recover.” Galadriel’s voice hardened. “In order to create this tight and unbreakable bond you will submit to him… physically. Elrond is yearning for his lover and will mistake you for him. He will use your body in whatever way he deems necessary. A bond, formed in that manner, is unbreakable.”

 

Erestor wrung his hands. “But…” What Galadriel proposed was a monstrosity!

 

“Elrond will never learn of your existence. He will recover, grow strong and fulfill his destiny.” Galadriel’s eyes burned with determination. “In return for your services we will allow you access to the library and a bit more personal freedom.”

 

Celeborn cleared his throat; he didn’t completely agree with his wife’s plans. “Your pain will be brief, and after you return here, you will find ample distraction.” He had tried to convince Galadriel to send Erestor as Elrond’s official new consort, but she had replied it would be too much honor for a kinslayer.

 

Erestor’s head reeled with their request. /I would bind myself to Elrond for all eternity and he would never know about it./

 

“Will you comply?” Galadriel’s eyes probed Erestor’s.

 

Erestor sighed distressed. A long time ago he had promised himself to protect Elwing and the twins in Eärendil’s absence. After all what had happened, how could he not stay true to his word? “I will do it,” he said in a resigned voice. “I will bind myself to him.”

 

Galadriel’s eyes glowed victoriously, whilst Celeborn’s shone with sad compassion.

 

TBC

 

Beta read by Sulien.

All remaining mistakes are mine.

 

Heart in Chains.

Part 5.

 

 

Ithil shone with unrivaled brilliance that night, giving Elves and Men a chance to bury their dead and care for the wounded. Several shelters and tents had arisen where healers and soldiers were trying to ease the pain of their injured comrades. The Battle of the Last Alliance had come to an end and they had won, defeating Sauron.

 

But the price had been high.

 

Cirdan had retreated into the tent Elrond and Gil-galad used to share. The High-King had died and his Herald was about to follow Gil-galad to the Great Halls of Waiting.

 

Cirdan’s right hand rested on Elrond’s clammy brow, concerned now that the half-Elf felt as cold as ice. The gray eyes were motionless and Elrond’s breathing was growing shallower. They were running out of time. How could he possibly convince Elrond to return to them?

 

Elrond had gone into shock when the battle had come to an end. They had been victorious, but they had lost Gil-galad and Cirdan hoped they would be able to reclaim Elrond for the living instead of having to bury the half-Elf as well.

 

“You must fight, mellon.” Cirdan rubbed the icy brow, hoping for some sign that Elrond was coming around, but nothing happened. Worried, he pulled the blanket that covered the half-Elf’s naked body up to Elrond’s shoulders, tucking the fabric around his friend’s form. “What do I do, should you die? It cannot be your fate to die today.”

 

He had undressed Elrond after carrying the half-Elf to the tent. His charge’s clothes had been drenched in blood and the armor would be uncomfortable when lying down. Once Elrond had been naked, he had used a blanket to keep him warm. But now his efforts to save Gil-galad’s Herald – and lover – seemed to have been in vain. Elrond refused to return to consciousness.

 

“I know you loved him, meldir. We all did. But your love went deeper.” And Gil-galad had returned that love. Elrond and the High-King had been happy during these last few days, but Cirdan had seen the apprehension in the half-Elf’s knowing, gray eyes. Elrond had known their time was limited and had tried to make the best of their time together.

 

“Elrond, we cannot lose you as well. We need you!” Cirdan hoped Elrond would listen to him, but the half-Elf remained motionless. /He is fading, and fading fast./ Death was swiftly approaching. “And then we have to do without the both of you.”

 

His hand left Elrond’s brow and now took the half-Elf’s right hand in his. “You have to listen to me. Gil-galad would want you to fight and overcome this. Please, mellon.”

 

He continued his pleading for a few more minutes and then gave up. Elrond wasn’t responding and fighting at his King’s side had drained Cirdan. He wanted to lie down and rest, but he had one more battle to fight. They couldn’t lose Elrond!

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

Glorfindel, who had taken up position outside Elrond’s tent, raised an eyebrow when a party of four riders came to a standstill before him. He recognized one of them and wondered what Haldir, one of Celeborn’s personal guards, was doing here.

 

Haldir dismounted, gathered his cloak around him and handed Glorfindel a scroll, which carried Celeborn and Galadriel’s seal. “Glorfindel, my Lord asked me to ensure you read this.” Nervously, Haldir’s gaze traveled to the one Elf that was still on horseback, whilst Rumil and Orophin also dismounted. Rumil had a tight hold on the reins, making sure the hooded Elf couldn’t leave.

 

Glorfindel also kept one eye on the hooded rider whilst unrolling the scroll. He instantly recognized Celeborn’s elegant handwriting. Apparently word of Gil-galad’s demise had spread quickly and Galadriel had decided to send a healer to help Elrond recover. /So this hooded rider is a healer?/ After reading the message, he considered everything he had learned.

 

“I assure you that my Lady Galadriel only wants to help,” said Haldir softly. He had heard many tales of valor and bravery where Glorfindel was concerned, and he felt somewhat intimidated, knowing whom he was dealing with. “My brothers and I are acting as his personal guards. We traveled without rest to get here in time.”

 

Glorfindel drew in a deep breath. “Wait here,” he said, addressing Haldir. Then he vanished into the tent.

 

Cirdan looked up, when Glorfindel entered. “I asked you to give us a moment alone.”

 

Remaining quiet, Glorfindel handed Cirdan the scroll. “Just read.”

 

Cirdan read Celeborn’s letter and then his gaze returned to his charge. “I cannot reach him. Elrond is drifting away from us, searching for his lover.”

 

“What do we have to lose?” Glorfindel shared Cirdan’s worries. They had already lost Gil-galad and couldn’t afford to lose Elrond as well. “Shall I tell the healer to attend to Elrond?”

 

Cirdan – fatigued and feeling helpless – let go of Elrond’s hand and rose from the bed. “Aye, tell him to enter.”

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

Erestor was fighting his panic to his best ability. He had agreed, but that didn’t mean he wanted to do this. Being bound to Elrond Half-Elven, Gil-galad’s Herald, was a frightening prospect, but the rewards Galadriel had offered had been too good to decline. In exchange for saving Elrond, he would be allowed outside once a week and Galadriel would give him unlimited access to the library. After the life he had led, that sounded like pure luxury.

 

He could sense their eyes on him. Haldir, Rumil and Orophin’s eyes never left him and he recalled that they were under orders to end his life if he tried to flee. But escape was not on his mind right now. Around him, Elves and Men were in pain and the sense of abandonment around him was suffocating. As a healer, he desperately wanted to help, but he waited for Haldir to tell him to dismount. He didn’t want to end up with an arrow in his back.

 

Suddenly, the blond, which Haldir had addressed as Glorfindel returned and nodded his head once.

 

“Your healer may enter.”

 

Erestor held his breath. This was it. His panic increased, but he managed to keep it under control. After locking gazes with Haldir and obtaining permission, he dismounted, making sure the hood stayed in place. Slipping his hands into the sleeves of his robes, he waited for Haldir’s orders.

 

Another Elf now also left the tent and Erestor stared at him in surprise. Never before had he seen a bearded Elf.

 

“I am Cirdan, one of Elrond’s friends.”

 

Erestor didn’t know what to say and simply waited.

 

“I gather you are a healer?”

 

Nodding once, Erestor wondered what would happen next.

 

“I will take you to Elrond,” said Cirdan, pulling back the flap of the tent to let Erestor enter. “And I will stay with you.”

 

“Nay,” said Haldir firmly. “My Lord Celeborn clearly states that the healer needs to attend to Elrond alone.”

 

Glorfindel and Cirdan had also read that passage, but didn’t feel inclined to permit it.

 

“My Lords, you have to trust us. We want to save Lord Elrond’s life. That is why we are here. That is why we brought this healer.” Haldir hoped they would cooperate.

 

After a moment’s thought, Cirdan reluctantly agreed. Seeing Glorfindel’s suspicious expression, he saw his own unease reflected in them. “Haldir is right. We need to put our trust in Galadriel and Celeborn. They know what they are doing.”

 

Erestor released the breath he had been holding when he finally stepped into the tent – toward his destiny.

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

Gingerly, Erestor looked about. To his right, on a cot, was Elrond Half-Elven. Memories of tending to the mischievous twins when they had been Elflings returned to him. He had found Elrond adorable back then and the child had been smitten with him in turn, but now Elrond was a great warrior. A warrior who was mourning his lover’s death. And there was only one way to keep the half-Elf from following Gil-galad to the Halls of Waiting.

 

After drawing in a deep breath, he dropped his cloak onto the ground. A bowl filled with water had been placed aside Elrond, and the silvery surface caught his reflection. His long, dark hair was unbraided as always, and his brown eyes filled with panic. The blue paint, which Galadriel had used, covered the area around his eyes, making it look like part of his face was veiled. All this to ensure no one ever found out his identity.

 

Making his way toward the cot, he extinguished all candles that formerly illuminated the tent. When he reached the cot, he sat down on the chair Cirdan had vacated. Taking a moment to study the half-Elf, he realized that Elrond was handsome, even with the touch of death upon him. The long, raven hair carried warrior’s braids and dried Orc blood tainted the slightly tanned skin. The gray eyes were devoid of emotion and yet the healer in him sensed the presence in the seemingly unconscious half-Elf.

 

Did he have the courage to follow through? He had told Galadriel he would bind himself to Elrond and by doing so ensure the half-Elf’s survival, but he couldn’t help feeling sorry for himself. Elrond would never find out who had saved him and the bond wouldn’t stop the Herald from finding a new lover, as the half-Elf wouldn’t even know he was bound.

 

But for him, the situation would be different. For the rest of his life he would feel Elrond’s pain, and lend him strength when the half-Elf needed his support. But in return he hoped to regain a tiny bit of his freedom, if Galadriel kept her word.

 

Resting a shaky hand on Elrond’s brow, he felt the half-Elf’s impending death. Instinctively he tried to stop the cold from claiming Elrond, pushing the alien presence away with his own mind. Having reclaimed Elrond for now, he rose from the chair, undid the belt that held his robes together and shrugged out of them. They pooled at his feet and stepping out of them, he centered himself. He needed to form this bond now.

 

Erestor saw a small, ceremonial knife on the small desk next to the bed and took hold of it. Cutting his wrist deeply, he detachedly watched the blood flow down his hand. His blood would form this link and give the half-Elf the strength to survive.

 

Reverently, he knelt next to the bed. His wrist now hovered above Elrond’s mouth and a few drops of his blood slid passed the open lips, flowing down the half-Elf’s throat. Now that he had set the process in motion, he waited for Elrond to react, whilst wrapping a piece of cloth around his wrist. He knew what would happen next and feared the act, but he had committed himself to this and there was no turning back.

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

Elrond panted hard, as a metallic tasting liquid flowed down his throat. His body was slowly coming alive again, and with it the horrid memories. “Ereinion!” The last thing he recalled was seeing his lover burned to cinders by Sauron, but then warm and inviting arms enfolded him, rocking him comfortingly and he leaned into the embrace.

 

“Melamin!” Gil-galad was alive then, because no one else would dare hold him like that. Elrond nearly panicked. Why was it this dark? Why couldn’t he see? “Where am I?”

 

“In your tent.”

 

The voice sounded alien and familiar at the same time. “Melamin?” It had to be Ereinion! His lover hadn’t deserted him after all! Gil-galad had tricked Sauron and hadn’t died! Ereinion was still with him.

 

“Hush now, and do not worry. Everything will be well.”

 

“Why is it this dark? Why can I not see you?” Elrond’s hands reached for the warm form next to him. The only thing he could think of was making sure that his lover hadn’t left him. “I had such a bad dream.” Now that the war was over, he needed to know his lover was still his!

 

Elrond grabbed the other Elf tightly, and encountering only bare skin, he sighed blissfully. Ereinion had had the same idea then and wanted to make love with him. “I need you, melamin. I need to know you are still here with me.” Saying those words would signal to Gil-galad what he needed most; to be inside the High-King. For one moment he felt confused, seeing brown eyes in a sea of blue.

 

His bed partner struggled briefly, which puzzled Elrond, but then a smile surfaced on his face. Ereinion was a passionate lover, who was mostly on top, but there were times when the High-King wanted to be claimed in turn, but would put up a fight first. The few times that Gil-galad was on the receiving end of his passion, the High King preferred to be taken hard. It seemed this was such a moment and he was happy to oblige. /Ah, you probably already prepared yourself for me./

 

Overcome with need and passion, Elrond brought his arms up behind his lover’s back, and after rolling the Elf onto his stomach, he blanketed him. “Mine, you are mine. You will always be mine. And I know what you want, for I want it too!”

 

Pulling his partner onto his hands and knees, he positioned himself at the tight entrance. Without thinking logically -- overwhelmed by desperate need and convinced that his lover had already prepared himself for some rough lovemaking – he pushed inside.

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

Erestor never expected Elrond to react with such violence. Before he knew what was happening, he found himself on his stomach and then on all fours. He had known this would happen, but the suddenness and force that the half-Elf displayed made him panic. He struggled briefly but stopped all movement when Elrond began to enter him. The hot head of the other’s sex nudged against his entrance, and he tried to mentally prepare himself for the penetration, but he had no idea what to expect. Suddenly, he was being burned and the pain that shot through him was like nothing he had ever felt before.

 

Elrond’s hard flesh forced its way into his body, tearing him in the process. Helpless to stop the half-Elf, Erestor bit into the pillow to muffle his cries, not wanting anyone to enter and find him in this humiliating position. Just when he thought that the pain couldn’t be worse, the half-Elf began to thrust.

 

Tears of pain fled his eyes and dripped down his face. He had involuntary tensed, trying to expel the intruder, but this caused him only more pain. Biting down harder, he forced himself to endure Elrond’s strokes, which now gained in speed and intensity. The sound of flesh against flesh -- Elrond’s heavy sacs slapping against his buttocks -- made him nauseous and he swallowed convulsively, trying to keep himself from throwing up the little he had eaten.

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

“Aye, meleth-nîn, I knew you would never leave me.” Elrond continued to drive himself home into his lover’s body, savoring the tight glove around him. It had been some time since he had last claimed the High-King and his lover felt as tight as the first time he had taken him. Pounding hard, he bit into his lover’s neck, finally reaching orgasm.

 

The moment he spilled his seed in his lover’s body, something changed. Warmth was born inside his heart and a glow seemed to engulf his body. Had he finally turned delirious after all?

 

Exhausted, he thrust one last time and then collapsed on top of his lover’s body. “Aiya, you are so tight, Ereinion.”

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

Hot tears of pain, shame and utter humiliation dripped from Erestor’s face as he laid there, feeling abused and hurting in places he had never known existed. Elrond felt heavy on top of him and he wondered what to do. Suddenly, the half-Elf pulled out and a slicing pain moved through his lower body, making him bury his teeth into his knuckles to keep himself from screaming out in pain.

 

Erestor now also felt the bond that had been forged. He even sensed the half-Elf’s ecstasy, which was still mixed with a hint of despair. Then, a sigh left Elrond’s lips and the half-Elf slipped into a healing sleep, which was being fed with Erestor’s life energy.

 

In shock, Erestor bit down his pain, managing to roll away from underneath Elrond. After fighting down the urge to curl up in a fetal position, Erestor gingerly studied the one he was now bound to. The half-Elf looked different and he instinctively knew that Elrond would survive and eventually recover. /You will never know I am bound to you and for that I am grateful./ What good would it do Elrond to know he was bound to such a pitiful creature?

 

Following his instincts, he placed his hands on Elrond’s brow. He closed his eyes and directed his remaining energy into the half-Elf’s fëa. When he had given as much as he could without extinguishing his own inner light, he let his hands fall down onto the bed. Panting due to exhaustion, he imprinted Elrond’s features in his mind. He would never see Elrond again and the half-Elf would be the only ‘lover’ he would ever have. For one moment he felt disappointed that this would be his sole sexual encounter, but now that he knew how much pain was involved in this act, the last thing he desired was being subjected to it again.

 

It was time to leave and he pushed himself into a sitting position. He gasped in pain, and his eyes widened, realizing he was bleeding between his legs. Elrond had torn him.

 

Gritting his teeth, he managed to get to his feet, but he swayed and had to reach for support, or else he would have fallen. Shaking like a leaf, he bent to pick up his robes. He nearly doubled over in agony and cried hot tears when more warm blood dripped down his thighs.

 

With grim determination, he slipped into his robes, fastened them with the belt and then draped his cloak over his shoulders. After putting up the hood, he took a few shaky steps toward the exit. He felt utterly humiliated now that the half-Elf had made him bleed, but wasn’t that to be expected? Galadriel had warned him that Elrond would use him as the half-Elf saw fit. He should console himself with the fact that he would never have to undergo such humiliation again.

 

Finally, he stepped out into the open. He avoided looking at them, not wanting to meet anyone’s eyes accidentally. He slowly made his way to his horse, hoping he would be able to ride back to ‘Lorien without Haldir or his brothers finding out that he was injured.

 

Mounting his horse took his last strength, but he managed. Now that he was sitting on the horse’s back, the pain in his lower body increased tenfold and he nearly fainted. His shoulders slumped and he bowed his head in defeat, waiting for Haldir to mount as well. The trip back to Lothlorien would be nothing but torment.

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

Cirdan and Glorfindel exchanged a worried look when the healer reappeared. Both smelled the metallic tang of blood on him and wondered what had happened. Cirdan was the first to leave the ‘Lorien party and disappear into the tent.

 

Haldir, who had seen Erestor’s hesitant movement, mounted quickly. “I am sure Lord Elrond will recover now. Should you need the healer’s services again, please send word to the Lord or Lady.” He turned his horse around and signaled for his brothers to follow him. Rumil had once more claimed the reins of Erestor’s horse to make sure their prisoner couldn’t escape.

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

Glorfindel watched until the party had vanished from sight and then ventured into the tent, wondering in what state he would find Elrond.

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

The first thing Glorfindel noticed was the blood that clung to Elrond’s lips. The half-Elf was tucked away beneath a blanket, apparently still asleep. The Elda came to a standstill beside Cirdan and looked at him questioningly. “What happened here?”

 

Cirdan’s brow was knitted. “When I entered I found that all candles had been extinguished and I had to relight them. It was dark in here when I entered.”

 

“What about the blood?” Glorfindel touched a finger to Elrond’s lips. “It is fresh.”

 

Cirdan seated himself on the chair and studied his charge. “Something about him is different.”

 

Glorfindel had to agree. “’Tis a healing sleep now.” The emptiness in the gray eyes had vanished. He studied Elrond, wondering how the healer had accomplished this.

 

Unexpectedly, Elrond’s eyelids fluttered, announcing the half-Elf’s return to consciousness.

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

Elrond felt disorientated, but seeing the faces of his two best friends reassured him. “Cirdan? Glorfindel?” With difficulty, he pushed himself in an upright position and his eyes immediately searched for his lover. “Where is Ereinion?”

 

Cirdan released a distressed sigh. “He died, meldir.”

 

Elrond’s eyes widened at hearing this. Aye, he remembered but… “He was here a moment ago! I made lo—“ His voice faltered, mid-sentence. “It cannot have been a hallucination! He was here!”

 

“Mellon, can you tell me why there is blood on your lips?” Cirdan’s concern returned, seeing the wild expression in his friend’s gray eyes.

 

“Blood?” Confused, Elrond raised a hand and touched his lips. His fingers came away stained with blood. “I do not understand.”

 

“I wonder what that healer did,” mumbled Glorfindel, intrigued.

 

“Healer? What healer?” Elrond frowned deeply, recalling what had happened a few moments ago. He had made love to Gil-galad! “Ereinion is not here?”

 

“He is dead, Elrond. You must accept that.” Cirdan’s voice was laced with comfort.

 

“Then who…?” Elrond’s eyes narrowed. “May I have a moment alone? I need to compose myself.”

 

Glorfindel nodded once, judging his friend sane and alert enough to take care of himself. The change that had taken place inside Elrond was truly remarkable. “Mellon, let us give him some privacy to mourn his lover’s demise.”

 

Cirdan gave in and followed the blond outside.

 

Elrond stayed behind, feeling shocked. He had made love to Ereinion; he hadn’t imagined that! He had been inside his lover, had felt how tight the High-King was! But…

 

/He did not reach orgasm./ His lover’s inner muscle hadn’t milked him dry! Thoroughly confused, he pushed down the covers. Shocked, he stared at his flaccid member – and the blood that clung to it.

 

TBC

 

Beta read by Sulien.

All remaining mistakes are mine.

 

Heart in Chains.

Part 6.

 

 

Leaving the camp, Haldir kept a close eye on his charge. Just by looking at Erestor’s body language he could tell that the other Elf was hurting. Galadriel and Celeborn had told him to be very alert and to ensure that Erestor wouldn’t escape. They had also told him to return to ‘Lorien as quickly as possible, so he pressed his heels into the flanks of his horse, urging it to make speed.

 

As Rumil was still holding the reins of his horse, Erestor didn’t have a choice and was dragged along for the ride. The bouncing movement made him sick to his stomach and more blood ran down his thighs. So many times he had wished he could heal himself, but his powers never worked on himself. He had to endure this torment and hopefully he would get the chance to recuperate once they were back in Lothlorien.

 

Haldir exchanged a look with Orophin. His younger brother had disliked Erestor since finding the dark-haired Elf driving the knife into Elwing’s personal guard’s chest. In contrast to Orophin, Rumil had accepted their duties and tried to be detached and impersonal when dealing with Erestor, but things were different with Orophin.

 

At times, he caught Orophin glaring at Erestor with barely concealed hatred in his eyes and he had tried to talk to his brother about this, but Orophin had simply shaken his head. He had seen Erestor slay one of their own and his mind was set; he would never forgive Erestor.

 

The night was still dark and Haldir estimated they could travel several more hours before the horses would need to rest. He wanted to return Erestor to Lothlorien as quickly as possible, knowing Galadriel wanted him confined there.

 

Erestor sensed their distrust and it only added to the physical and mental pain he was already in. The agony that continued to build in his lower body was becoming unbearable and he knew he would eventually pass out, but he wanted to hold on as long as possible. Being on horseback and unconscious was not a good combination. So he gritted his teeth and managed to keep conscious. The pain, however, continued to intensify.

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

Hours later, Arien’s first rays touched a Middle-Earth that had momentarily been freed of evil.

 

By this time, Erestor’s fingernails were deeply buried in the leather of the saddle, holding on tightly. Suddenly, the earth beneath them gave away and vanished into a gaping hole. Orophin, who was riding in front of him, was pitched from his saddle into the crevice that had suddenly opened at their feet when his horse planted all four legs and lowered its head in order to stop in time.

 

Haldir released a shocked cry, seeing his brother disappear beneath the earth. Looking over his shoulder, he found that Rumil had stopped Erestor’s horse in time and both Elves were now staring at the gaping hole in front of them. It was also at that moment that Haldir saw how pale his charge was. Pale and shaking like a leaf. That was something he had to investigate after reclaiming Orophin. “Rumil, stay here with Erestor.”

 

Rumil, who had wanted to dismount, glared at his oldest brother. He wanted to help as well, not be stuck guarding their prisoner!

 

Erestor wished he could help, but knew they wouldn’t let him – they didn’t trust him. So in order to not distract them, he sat quietly, relieved that the bouncing motion had momentarily stopped. His lower body felt intensely enflamed.

 

Haldir slid off his horse’s back and cautiously approached the crevice. Using strong Elven rope, which he had tied to the saddle, he lowered himself into the hole.

 

“Do not think you can escape now,” hissed Rumil, “We have orders to kill you if necessary.” It wasn’t that he hated Erestor that much as he felt the need to threaten him so as to intimidate him to the point that he wouldn’t even think of running away.

 

Erestor nodded and concentrated on the rescue mission. It was a shame that Rumil was stuck guarding him as Haldir would have greatly appreciated the help.

 

Long and stressful moments passed, but then Haldir reappeared, carrying Orophin over his shoulder. The younger Elf was motionless and hardly breathing, but his eyes were open and frighteningly lucid.

 

Tenderly, Haldir laid Orophin down on the ground, checking for injuries. “Orophin? Are you hurt?”

 

“I… cannot… move…” Panic and fear shone from Orophin’s eyes, as he was unable to move. “My neck… I fell onto… my neck.”

 

Haldir’s breath caught. “Nay…” If his suspicion was correct and Orophin had broken his neck, it would take years, maybe even decades, for his brother to recover. Even his Elven healing ability couldn’t cure such a grave injury in a few days. And then there was the possibility of complications. What if the injuries were too severe and the bones wouldn’t mend properly?

 

“Hal… dir?” Orophin began to fight for breath. His lungs, which had been working fine a moment ago, now stopped all together. His panic increased, realizing he was dying. This was a mortal injury! His eyes frantically moved in their sockets, realizing he couldn’t draw in his next breath.

 

Haldir, panicking as well, grabbed his brother’s hand and tried to control his raging emotions. “Nay, we cannot lose you!”

 

Rumil, unable to remain on horseback any longer now that his brother was dying, let go of the reins of Erestor’s horse, jumped onto the ground and hurried over to them. “Aiya, Muindor-nîn, do not leave us!” Devastated, he knelt at Orophin’s other side, also cradling a hand.

 

Orophin’s lips were slowly turning blue and his eyes began to mist over. He had never thought he would die like this! He would have accepted dying in battle, but not because of an earth slide! 

 

Lost in their pain and grief, neither Haldir nor Rumil noticed that Erestor had managed to dismount. Gathering his cloak around him, he bit down the pain that swept through him with every step that he took. He was a healer and it was in his nature to help where he could, even when the wounded was one of his jailors.

 

Haldir suddenly registered a third pair of hands on Orophin’s body and wanted to glare at Erestor, who was disturbing Orophin’s last moments with his two brothers. But then he held his tongue, seeing the anguished expression in those dark eyes.

 

Rumil also wanted to sweep away Erestor’s hands, which the raven-haired Elf had rested on Orophin’s throat, but something kept him back.

 

Orophin was still alert, although a terrible coldness was trying to eat him from the inside out and his eyes widened, feeling Erestor’s warm hands on him. His brothers’ hands didn’t feel that warm!

 

Centering himself, Erestor called on his own life energy – the little he had left after pulling Elrond from the brink – and let his remaining energy flow into Orophin’s body, hoping it was enough to heal the injury.

 

For long moments, Haldir and Rumil stared at Erestor in disbelief. Then they looked down and found that a warm glow surrounded Erestor’s hands. That glow disappeared into their brother’s chest and they both sucked in their breath, feeling Orophin’s fingers twitch.

 

“Muindor?” Haldir’s eyes widened, afraid to believe what he was seeing. Orophin was moving about, squirming beneath Erestor’s hands. His brother’s breathing was normal again and Orophin was even trying to sit up.

 

But that attempt was sabotaged when Erestor collapsed on top of Orophin. The raven-haired Elf’s body had gone completely limp.

 

“What happened?” Rumil was also afraid to believe Orophin had been healed, but then again, Erestor was a healer. Why would their prisoner heal one of his enemies? “Haldir? What do we do?”

 

“Get him… off… cannot… breath.” Orophin, stunned by Erestor’s action, stared at the dark-haired Elf who now moaned miserably.

 

Haldir was the first to act. With extreme caution, he gathered Erestor – his brother’s savior – in his arms. After what Erestor had done for them, the raven-haired Elf deserved some respect.

 

“Orophin? How do you fare, Muindor?” Rumil assisted Orophin when his older brother sat upright. Three pair of eyes now stared at Erestor.

 

“He healed me. Why?” Orophin shook his head in disbelief. “Why? He knows I loathe him.”

 

“He is a healer,” offered Haldir after pondering Orophin’s question. “He could not turn his back on you.”

 

“A healer,” mumbled Rumil thoughtfully. “I still wonder how a healer was capable of taking a life.”

 

“Aye, I saw him driving that knife into the guard’s chest,” said Orophin, confused. But he couldn’t deny that Erestor had saved his life.

 

“We can ponder this later. First, we need to take care of our healer.” Haldir lifted an unconscious Erestor in his arms and carried him toward his horse. After placing Erestor back in his saddle, he steadied the Elf with a hand, supporting his back. “Rumil, help Orophin onto his horse and make sure he does not go anywhere near that hole!”

 

Orophin felt disorientated and unsteady when he walked toward his horse but the frightening numbness no longer terrorized his body. Once he was safely back in his saddle, his gaze sought out Erestor again. /Why?/

 

Erestor slumped forward and his upper body now rested against his horse’s neck.

 

Haldir, worried for both Erestor and his recovering brother, decided to search for a location where they could set up camp. All of them needed to rest.

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

Long moments later, Rumil pointed out a suitable spot and Haldir agreed. His gaze came to rest on Orophin. His brother was awfully quiet, but seemed to have recovered from his fall. “Are you still in any pain?”

 

Orophin shook his head. “I am rather tired, but there is absolutely no pain.” But memories of being unable to move and breathe still tormented him. Erestor had changed that. Erestor had given him life again when he had been ready to release his last breath. How was he to react to that? How to act when Erestor regained consciousness? The hatred which he had formerly felt toward the raven-haired Elf was quickly vanishing.

 

Haldir dismounted first and went over to Orophin, just in case his brother needed support while dismounting. But Orophin gracefully slid off of the horse’s back and began to gather firewood. Now that Sauron had been defeated, the area was relatively safe and they could risk building a fire. He distanced himself, needing a moment to deal with his near death experience.

 

Rumil dismounted as well and helped Haldir to get Erestor onto the ground. He gasped in shock, seeing the fresh blood clinging to the saddle. “He is injured, Haldir.”

 

Catching sight of the blood, Haldir’s features contorted. “Then I should examine him. I still find it odd that he cannot heal himself. Hand him to me.” Rumil placed Erestor in his arms and Haldir carried his charge nearer the fire that Orophin was preparing to build.

 

“Rumil? Do you still keep that blanket in your saddlebag? And Orophin, can you arrange for some fresh water? See if a stream is nearby.” Orophin would welcome the chance to get some moments alone. His brother left at once after nodding his head.

 

Rumil had removed the blanket from his saddlebag and now spread it out over the cold, somewhat damp earth. Haldir then placed their unconscious charge on it, lying Erestor down.

 

“It is best to do this now whilst he is still unconscious.” Haldir was amazed at the protectiveness he suddenly felt toward Erestor. /He saved Orophin’s life. I am indebted to him. And I want to know why he did that./

 

Slowly, the two brothers pushed Erestor’s heavy cloak out of the way and turned him around. Both gasped, seeing the bloodstains on Erestor’s robes. Their gazes met above Erestor’s body, both thinking the exact same thing.

 

Erestor had been sent to rescue Elrond, and from what they had gathered, Galadriel had instructed Erestor to bond with the half-Elf. Making love strengthened a new bond and apparently Erestor had been on the receiving end.

 

“Riding must have been pure torment,” whispered Rumil softly. “And he never said a word.”

 

Haldir wondered why. “Maybe he thought we would not take the bleeding seriously.” They hadn’t been very kind to the raven-haired Elf.

 

“I found water.” Orophin, also realizing the nature of Erestor’s injury, paled. With stern determination, he placed the water skins next to Haldir and then sat down to build the fire, adding wood. He remained quiet, having lots to think about. Erestor’s deed had upended his life.

 

“Do we have some spare leggings with us?” Haldir looked at Rumil, knowing his youngest brother at times packed odd things into his saddlebags.

 

“Nay, but I wish I had.” Rumil sighed distressed. “Maybe I can help by gathering healing herbs?”

 

Haldir nodded his approval. “But do not stray too far from the camp.” He was staring at his charge, feeling strangely helpless. There was so little he could do to help Erestor.

 

“I can heat some water for a healing tea,” said Orophin unexpectedly.

 

“I am sure he would appreciate that,” said Haldir, “But he is bleeding severely. He will have to apply it internally.”

 

Rumil got to his feet and disappeared between the trees, hoping he would easily and quickly find the plantain leaves, sage, and yarrow that he needed.

 

“I still do not understand,” whispered Orophin, using the small kettle they always took with them on their journeys. At times, even Elves needed to eat.

 

“Maybe we should ask him when he wakes up again.” Realizing there was little he could do to help, Haldir unclasped his cloak and placed it over Erestor’s body, which was now beginning to tremble. “We should have been more alert.”

 

Orophin’s usually melodic voice sounded harsh, replying to Haldir’s remark. “We are only checking on him now because he saved my life. If that earth slide had not happened, we still would not know he is hurting.”

 

Haldir bowed his head in shame. “You are right.” It had been easy during all these millennia to merely think of Erestor as a kinslayer. They had never bothered to look any closer.

 

Orophin stared entranced at the water, almost willing it to come to the boil. “We should have brought more supplies. The only thing we have is Lembas and water.”

 

“We did not know we would end up with a wounded Elf on our hands.”

 

“Haldir, I was dying when he reached for me. His warmth enfolded me, kept my fëa from traveling to the Great Halls. How can I ever repay him for saving my life?” Orophin looked at Haldir pleadingly. “How can I reconcile that with the fact that he took a life in the past?”

 

“I do not know,” said Haldir tiredly. He had guarded Erestor for many centuries, but had never been interested in the healer. He had carried out his duties and when he had been relieved he had never given Erestor a second thought. He had been convinced the raven-haired Elf deserved his punishment. But now he wasn’t that sure anymore, after witnessing Erestor healing his brother.

 

Absentmindedly, his hand had found its way onto Erestor’s brow and his fingertips were trying to smooth away the deep lines that had formed there. He had never tried to get to know the other Elf and maybe it was time to change that now.

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

Rumil soundlessly approached the camp and, once he had reached Orophin, handed his brother half of the healing herbs he had gathered to make tea with. The other half he handed to Haldir, who knew of other ways to use these herbs. Looking at Erestor, he found that the injured Elf was still asleep. “He did more than healing Elrond Half-Elven, didn’t he?”

 

Haldir nodded. “He bonded with the Peredhel and confirmed their connection by submitting to him. The half-Elf could have been a bit more… considerate.” Realizing his protective feelings toward Erestor were growing stronger, he wondered what that meant when looking toward the future.

 

Taking hold of the herbs Rumil handed him, he put them in his mouth and began to chew until the leaves had turned into to a smooth paste. Once it had reached the right consistency, he put it in the leaves that had formerly held the waybread, which he now handed to his brothers. “Eat, we will need our strength.” This journey seemed ill fated.

 

“His tea is ready,” announced Orophin. “See if you can wake him up.”

 

Haldir wasn’t sure it was the right thing to do, but complied, knowing Erestor’s body needed the plants’ healing qualities. “Erestor? Wake up.” He slowly shook the healer’s shoulder, hoping Erestor wouldn’t startle himself awake as he had seen happen in the past.

 

This time Erestor’s eyes only slowly regained awareness and he was thoroughly confused, seeing Haldir’s concerned gaze directed at him. Then he began to remember everything; arriving in Elrond’s tent, the pain that had followed and giving life back to Orophin. The least Haldir could do for him was to let him sleep. Why wake him? Whilst asleep, his body had felt numb, but now the pain had doubled in strength. “Please… Can’t I continue to sleep?”

 

“Not yet,” replied Haldir, who was suddenly growing aware of the pleading, and somewhat childish tone. “We made you some tea.”

 

“Tea?” What kind of odd dream was this? The three brothers had never been interested in taking care of him before. /I saved Orophin. They are probably doing this because they feel indebted to me./

 

Orophin had filled a cup with the healing tea and now walked over to where Erestor was resting. “This would be easier with you sitting up.”

 

Sitting up? Erestor cringed; he still felt like he was being burned from the inside and sitting up was not a good idea. “I do not need the tea. Thank you for making it, but—“

 

“We will help you,” said Haldir in a remarkably gentle tone. “You can lean against me.”

 

Erestor suddenly realized they knew and immediately lowered his eyes, falling back into behavior he had learned during his childhood when he had been afraid to look at Feanor. /They know! They know, know, know./ Panicking, he wondered why they were taking care of him when it would be much easier to make fun of him.

 

He flinched violently, feeling Haldir and Rumil’s hands on him. Both Elves were gently pulling him upright and just when the pain threatened to overwhelm him, Rumil eased him back against Haldir. He suddenly found himself cradled against the sentry’s muscular chest. Feeling lost, he let them take charge. He was in no condition to oppose them.

 

The fragrances of several healing plants drifted into his nostrils and he easily identified them as herbs meant to stop bleeding and infection. By the Valar, he felt so embarrassed now that they knew Elrond had made him bleed. They probably thought him a whore as well as a murderer!

 

“Sip, Erestor,” commanded Haldir in a gentle tone. Erestor’s behavior worried him and he realized that, if he had paid attention before, it would have worried him back then as well. But he had ignored it.

 

Erestor automatically obeyed; another instinct that had been ingrained in him by Feanor and Celegorm. Raising his eyes, he probed Orophin’s, trying to assess if the Elf had made a complete recovery. Although the blue eyes seemed somewhat dull, he could tell the Elf hadn’t sustained any permanent damage. His healing power had just been strong enough to pull Orophin back. /It is no wonder that I feel like this. I pulled two Elves back from the Halls of Mandos./

 

Haldir cleared his throat, uncertain how to address this. “We noticed that you are bleeding – internally.” Erestor’s blush now faded and a ghostly pallor appeared instead. “We think we know what you did. You bonded with Elrond Half-Elven.”

 

Violent tremors coursed through his body, realizing that if he hadn’t been bound to Elrond already, he might have ended up being bonded to Orophin instead. It surprised him that he had been able to pull the sentry back without forming a bond.

 

Taking Erestor’s silence as an affirmative, Haldir continued. “Rumil gathered healing herbs. We put part of them in your tea and I made a paste with the other half. You are a healer. I assume you know how to use this paste?” He cringed, feeling Erestor trying to pull away from him. “Do not worry. None of us will apply that paste. That is something you need to do yourself.”

 

Erestor was relieved that he was spared this final humiliation. “I will also heal without it.”

 

“But it will take you much longer to heal and you will continue to be in pain, especially once we continue our journey,” said Orophin calmly. His changed feelings puzzled him, but he accepted them nonetheless. When he had felt Erestor’s warm, healing touch, he had instinctively known that the dark-haired Elf was incapable of inflicting pain, or taking someone’s life. He just didn’t know how to combine that new knowledge with the scene he had witnessed such a long time ago. Erestor had killed that guard!

 

“Maybe some privacy would convince you to apply the paste?” suggested Rumil. He had put himself in Erestor’s place, trying to understand the other Elf’s fears. “We can leave you alone for some minutes. No one will be watching you.”

 

Erestor stared at Rumil in surprise. Were they actually trying to be kind to him, or was this just a new trick to hurt his feelings? He was afraid to trust them.

 

“I can tell you are hurting,” said Haldir, whispering softly into Erestor’s ear. “You saved my brother’s life and did not run when you had the chance. Instead, you healed Orophin. We trust you not to run away now either.”

 

/Like I am in any state to run away!/ thought Erestor dejectedly. /I cannot even walk unaided./ He tried to pull away, seeing Haldir reach for him. It was an old reflex, which he had adopted when Feanor had begun beating him.

 

Haldir’s eyes widened and his hand froze in mid-air, seeing and correctly interpreting Erestor’s reaction. “I am not going to hit you.” What else had he missed when he should have been paying attention?

 

“You should accept the offer,” said Rumil, rising from the earth. Inclining his head, he hoped his brothers understood and would follow him away from the camp.

 

Haldir placed the leaves, holding the paste in Erestor’s shaky hand and then eased his charge onto his side, so he could rest without being in too much pain. “We will return in a few moments. We will call out to you first to make certain you have finished.”

 

Trembling over his entire body, Erestor watched the three brothers move away from the camp. He still didn’t know if he could trust them to keep their word. What if they were playing with him and would burst out laughing when he was pushing the paste inside his abused passage? Could he take the risk of further humiliation?

 

Haldir exchanged a saddened look with his brothers once they were out of Erestor’s sight. They had no plans to peek, wanting Erestor to have his privacy. “What do you think? Will he use the paste?”

 

“I do not know, Muindor,” said Rumil, feeling miserable. He kicked a small pebble over the ground, feeling annoyed with himself, a feeling he shared with his brothers. “We will give him some minutes and then we will check on him.”

 

Haldir nodded once. “We will have to make sure he takes care of himself.”

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

Back at the camp, Erestor was straining his hearing. As far as he could tell, the brothers had kept their word and were giving him his privacy. Staring at the bundle that held the paste, he knew he should use it. Applying the paste would help him heal and keep the pain to a minimum. Sighing, he made his decision.

 

After prying open the bundle, he gathered some paste onto a fingertip and reached behind him. His breathing was ragged and his senses remained trained on the three brothers, determined to pick up on them should they return unexpectedly.

 

The moment he pushed the paste into the injured channel, its healing qualities began to unfold, cooling and numbing the area. Quickly, he repeated the treatment until he had coated the most severely torn section. Sighing blissfully at the absence of pain, he pulled his robes back in place. Suddenly he grew aware of the fact that it was Haldir’s cloak that was keeping him warm. What had he done to deserve such kindness? Ah, they felt indebted because of Orophin. This had nothing to do with wanting to take care of him. They were just repaying a debt.

 

Feeling depressed and alone, Erestor pulled Haldir’s warm cloak closer to his body. He had better enjoy this whilst it lasted.

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

“Erestor? Have you finished?” Haldir called out softly, and when he didn’t get an answer, he walked toward the camp. From this distance, he had a clear view of Erestor, who had fallen asleep again. Signaling for his brothers to follow, they came to a halt in front of their sleeping charge.

 

All three of them felt relieved, finding that Erestor had used the healing paste.

 

“We will spend some more hours here,” decided Haldir. “Rumil, you take first watch and I will take second. Orophin? Rest, you just returned from the dead.”

 

Orophin snorted at Haldir, but did it softly, not wanting to wake Erestor, whose face was finally relaxed in sleep now that his pain had lessened. He privately vowed that things would change from now on.

 

TBC

 

Muindor = brother

Fëa = soul

 

Beta read by Sulien.

All remaining mistakes are mine.

 

Heart in Chains.

Part 7

 

 

“We should leave now.” Haldir had let Erestor sleep until dusk and was now growing impatient. Galadriel and Celeborn expected them to return as quickly as possible and they were already late. “Prepare the horses for departure whilst I wake Erestor.” Haldir sat on his heels beside the sleeping Elf and pushed some wayward locks away from Erestor’s face. The blue paint was losing its radiance and left a ghostly impression on the other’s face. He regretted having to wake Erestor, but it would be best to depart now.

 

“Erestor? Wake up.” He gently shook Erestor’s shoulder and caught the terror in the brown eyes upon awakening. “We are about to leave.” If it were up to him, he would prefer to check to see if the bleeding had stopped, but he knew instinctively that Erestor wouldn’t allow it. “Can you get to your feet?”

 

Erestor groaned softly, expecting to be hit by a sickening burning sensation when he sat up, but the pain was absent. There was some minor discomfort, but he could deal with that. Recalling Orophin’s accident, his eyes sought out the silver-haired Elf’s form. “How does he fare?”

 

Haldir understood at once. “Orophin slept peacefully for some hours and seems completely recovered. I want you to know that you have my eternal gratitude for saving his life.”

 

Erestor nodded absentmindedly. Centering himself, he frowned. His life energy was flowing away from him, into someone else’s mind and suddenly he understood; his life energy was sustaining Elrond, strengthening the half-Elf. He sighed dejectedly, knowing he would never feel whole again now that a part of him was missing. The only way to ever reclaim that feeling of oneness would be to live with Elrond as his bonded mate, but that day would never come. From now on, he had to get used to feeling weak and incomplete.

 

“Erestor? Do you need assistance?” Haldir grew worried, not receiving an answer.

 

Erestor shook himself from his musings. “I can manage on my own.” It was seldom that someone had offered him assistance and he wasn’t sure how to deal with that offer now. He slowly pushed himself onto his feet, suddenly growing aware of the supportive arm wrapped around his waist. Hadn’t he told Haldir he didn’t need the help?

 

“You are still weak,” remarked Haldir softly. “Let me help.”

 

His first instinct was to shake off the supportive arm, but Erestor didn’t have the strength to spare and allowed himself to be led to his horse. Aiya, he was not looking forward to having to ride on horseback again!

 

“Rumil? Help me!” Haldir called for assistance.

 

Erestor blushed fiercely when the two brothers carefully placed him on the horse’s back. His face contorted, because the ache in his lower body was returning. Gritting his teeth, he tried not to show his discomfort, which would grow even worse once they sped up.

 

“We will ride slowly,” said Haldir, mounting as well.

 

Tightly clutching the saddle for support, Erestor put up the hood and bowed his head. The fact that they were helping him only added to his embarrassment. Only Maglor and Elwing had ever helped him before. He just didn’t know how to react to them.

 

Orophin steered his horse closer to Erestor’s. “I wanted to thank you for what you did. You kept my fëa here on Arda. I am not yet ready to leave my brothers behind.”

 

Embarrassed, Erestor nodded, but remained quiet. What was he supposed to say?

 

Getting frustrated with Erestor’s shy behavior, Orophin asked, “And how do you fare today?”

 

Erestor tensed. Why was Orophin asking him these questions? “Fine.” But it was a lie. He was still hurting inside, though the pain no longer compared to the agony he had been in yesterday.

 

Orophin didn’t buy it, but didn’t call Erestor on it. Instead, he exchanged a questioning look with Haldir. How to proceed from here? “We still have some Lembas left and you have not eaten yet.” He uncovered a piece of the bread and offered it to Erestor. Next, he presented a full water skin to the dark-haired Elf. He felt hurt, seeing the distrust in Erestor’s eyes. “Take it. You need to keep up your strength.”

 

Erestor gingerly took hold of the Lembas and took a few bites. Then he washed everything down with a few mouthfuls of water, careful not to drink too much. Handing the water skin back to Orophin, he wondered about the displeased look in the sentry’s eyes. What had he done now?

 

“You can drink more if you want. We have ample supplies of water.” Orophin wished he could offer Erestor something more substantial. Maybe they could go hunting the next time they rested. Knowing Haldir, they would rest again shortly now that Erestor was growing tired again.

 

Rumil, who was riding on Erestor’s other side, considered everything he had just seen and heard. He was overcome by the need to get to know Erestor better. “You bonded with Elrond half-Elven…” he said in a thoughtful tone, “And yet the Lord and Lady want you to return to ‘Lorien? Would it not be best for you to remain near your bonded mate?”

 

Erestor was severely startled by that question. Why was Rumil asking him this? He remained silent, not wanting to explain.

 

“Erestor? Rumil made a valid point,” said Haldir, who now joined them as well. “Why leave?”

 

Realizing there was no way out, Erestor nervously cleared his throat. “I am only following your Lady’s orders.”

 

“Which are?” Haldir wondered about Galadriel’s motives.

 

Erestor fidgeted with the end of a sleeve, not wanting to explain further, but also realizing they wouldn’t leave him alone until their curiosity had been satisfied. “Elrond Half-Elven still has to play some role on Arda and the Lady Galadriel urged me to save him. I complied, of course.”

 

“Of course,” repeated Haldir thoughtfully. /She probably didn’t give you much of a choice to begin with./ 

 

Erestor bit his bottom lip, wishing they would leave him be.

 

“But I take it you would have preferred to get to know your new mate instead of having to rush back to ‘Lorien.” Haldir’s eyes narrowed, something was wrong with this.

 

Erestor sighed. “He is not my mate, Haldir. I bonded with him in order to save his life. This is no marriage.”

 

The three brothers exchanged worried looks. It was Haldir who eventually voiced their thoughts. “A bond was created for life. You are married to him. The two of you are life mates.”

 

Exasperated, Erestor pushed back his hood and glared at Haldir. “You do not understand. I am bound to him, but Elrond Half-Elven is not bound to me. He does not even know someone brought him back from the brink. As far as he is concerned, I do not exist. He thought he was making love to Gil-galad, not me!” Exhausted – and embarrassed for losing his temper – Erestor averted his eyes.

 

Haldir couldn’t conceal his shock and disapproval. What had Galadriel and Celeborn been thinking when ordering this? They had condemned Erestor to a half-life, constantly feeding and sensing his mate whilst Elrond remained blissfully unaware of the fact that someone was suffering in his place.

 

Orophin growled softly, displeased. “I cannot understand why you agreed to such a bargain.”

 

Releasing a deep sigh, Erestor tried to explain, “I have been confined to my room for three millennia. Long and lonely years with nothing to occupy my mind. I was cut off from life, and never allowed to venture outside.”

 

Haldir nodded; he and his brothers had guarded Erestor for most of those years and yet they had never given it a second thought, convinced as they were that the Elf deserved that punishment. “So what did they offer you?” He knew very well that Galadriel and Celeborn would never set Erestor free. They would merely throw him breadcrumbs.

 

Orophin was taken aback, seeing the sudden sparkle in Erestor’s dark eyes.

 

“I will be allowed to go outside once a week and to read the books in the Lord’s library.” Erestor smiled happily at that prospect. After years of frustration, boredom and loneliness he would be allowed some distraction.

 

Rumil snorted loudly. “And that is why you let them destroy your life?”

 

Frozen in shock, Erestor quickly stared at his hands. “You do not understand. My life was ruined the day I met Feanor.” His eyes widened, realizing what he had just said.

 

“Feanor?” Now Haldir’s curiosity was piqued.

 

“I do not want to speak about him.” Remembering his childhood brought back too much suffering. Erestor uneasily shifted in the saddle, wondering if they were going to travel to ‘Lorien nonstop. In spite of the pain, he relished being out in the open after so many millennia of confinement.

 

Haldir was realizing the same thing. He had never asked himself just how Erestor dealt with the constant confinement and now that they were in the woods, the dark-haired Elf seemed more at peace. “Rumil? Scout ahead and find us a place to make camp. Orophin, would you go hunting?” Orophin didn’t appear to be affected by his near death experience, but Haldir remained cautious.

 

“I will bring back some game,” promised Orophin, also feeling the need to eat more than just Lembas. After exchanging a glance with Rumil, both Elves left, leaving Haldir alone with Erestor.

 

The sudden departure worried Erestor, who now found himself alone with Haldir. It felt more like he was at Haldir’s mercy now that the other two Elves had gone. /And why did they leave in the first place?/ The three brothers had been told by Galadriel to watch him constantly.

 

Making sure their trot was slow and not causing Erestor any discomfort, Haldir wondered what subject was safe to bring up in conversation. “Would you enjoy watching the sunset tonight?” Although Erestor’s room had a window, it faced north and it had probably been millennia since the raven-haired Elf had last seen the sun set or rise.

 

“I would like that,” whispered Erestor gingerly, still feeling distrustful now that Haldir was acting this kindly.

 

The silence returned, making Haldir nervous. “Did the paste work? Did it lessen your discomfort?” Glancing at Erestor, he easily caught the other’s blush.

 

“Thank you for gathering those herbs and making that paste. It helped, aye.” Erestor felt at a loss and before he knew it, words he hadn’t wanted to say left his lips. “Why are you being this kind to me? You were not before.”

 

Haldir felt ashamed of his past behavior. “Seeing you heal Orophin opened my eyes.”

 

That wasn’t the answer Erestor had expected. “Opened your eyes?”

 

“You are a healer. I do not know why you killed that guard, but—“

 

“I never did!” Erestor exploded with emotion. For millennia he had tried to convince them that he hadn’t taken part in the kinslayings; that he had merely tried to help! /I was keeping that knife in place! Rhoss had already lost too much blood and removing it would have quickened his death!/ His fingers had been curled around the hilt, trying to lessen the blood loss. That had been the exact moment Orophin had entered, calling him a murderer. He had tried to explain, but no one had ever listened. In the end, he had stopped trying.

 

“I wish I could believe you,” whispered Haldir, “but Orophin saw you commit murder.”

 

/Orophin saw me keeping the knife in place to slow down the blood loss./ But he didn’t bother to protest any more. No one ever listened.

 

Haldir felt saddened, uncertain what to think of Erestor. The dark-haired Elf had been imprisoned for millennia and maybe it was time to give him a bit more freedom. Were Galadriel and Celeborn planning to keep Erestor locked up forever?

 

“I found a great spot!” Rumil appeared to their right, a big smile on his face. “And I encountered some Men. I managed to trade part of our Lembas for clean leggings.” A triumphant expression appeared on his face. “Then you won’t have to wear those bloodstained robes any longer.”

 

Erestor’s face colored red, being reminded of his injury. Uncertain what to say, he just remained silent.

 

Rumil, who had expected a bit more enthusiasm on Erestor’s part, gave Haldir a questioning look.

 

Haldir nodded once. He would ensure Erestor changed into those leggings. After Rumil had handed the garment to him, Haldir followed his brother to the campsite.

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

Half an hour later, Haldir had built a fire and was roasting the rabbits Orophin had managed to catch. Orophin had been slightly disappointed that he hadn’t found any more game, but the rabbits would do.

 

“Here, change into these.” Haldir offered Erestor the leggings.

 

Erestor didn’t feel comfortable meeting Haldir’s eyes, but forced himself to accept the leggings.

 

“You can change behind those bushes,” said Haldir, instinctively knowing Erestor would never change with them present.

 

“You are letting me out of your sight?” Erestor felt confused. Haldir’s behavior puzzled him, as did Rumil’s and Orophin’s.

 

“I trust you not to run away,” Haldir replied calmly. “Now go change and then join us for dinner.” He watched closely as Erestor disappeared behind the bushes.

 

“Muindor?” Rumil placed a hand on Haldir’s shoulder. “What is on your mind?”

 

“I have the feeling we wronged him.”

 

“He has slain one of our own kin, Haldir, you can never forget that.” Rumil felt conflicted as well. “But that does not mean we cannot take care of him.”

 

Haldir nodded and then followed Rumil to the fire, where Orophin was dividing the food into four portions. He smiled, seeing that one portion was bigger than the others.

 

Erestor hesitantly approached the three brothers. He did feel better now that he had changed into the clean leggings. Uncertain if he was supposed to sit down or to remove himself from the situation, he looked toward Haldir for instructions.

 

“Sit down and eat.” Haldir gestured for Erestor to sit down beside him.

 

Erestor gingerly complied, sitting cross-legged. When he had changed into the leggings he had checked on himself. He had been extremely relieved to find that the bleeding had stopped. However, he still felt sore. Haldir then handed him a bowl filled with meat and Lembas, which increased his unease, realizing his bowl was the fullest. The three brothers had taken less.

 

Rumil, seeing Erestor’s nervousness, met questioning brown eyes. “Eat. You are much too skinny.”

 

Slowly, Erestor chewed on the roasted meat. He had always been too skinny, thanks to Feanor, Curufin and Celegorm. They had been the reason he had seldom eaten meals regularly. “Thank you for the food.” He was hungrier than he wanted them to know, and before he realized it, he was wolfing down the food.

 

The three brothers exchanged worried looks. One by one, they placed pieces of Lembas and roasted rabbit into Erestor’s bowl, encouraging him to continue to eat.

 

But Erestor wildly shook his head. “Nay, I cannot eat your food!”

 

Rumil covered his bowl with his hand when Erestor tried to put the food back into it. “Nay, you need it more than we do. We did not pull two Elves back from the brink.”

 

Looking at Orophin and Haldir, Erestor found them nodding their approval. They wouldn’t let him return the food to them. Eating more slowly, he devoured the rest as well.

 

Haldir, feeling strangely at peace, smiled and pointed out the setting sun at the horizon. “Arien is most radiant tonight.”

 

Unexpectedly, Erestor dropped his now empty bowl onto the ground, lost in admiration of the golden rays. “Aye, beautiful.” Now that his belly was full and the pain had receded, he could fully appreciate Arien’s warmth.

 

The rare smile that now graced Erestor’s features made Haldir nod his head. “Beautiful indeed.”

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

The closer they got to ‘Lorien, the more withdrawn Erestor became. Rumil, who stayed close to Erestor at all times, tried to engage the raven-haired Elf in a conversation, but Erestor barely reacted. In the end, he turned to Haldir. “What is wrong with him?”

 

Haldir had asked himself the same question, but unlike Rumil, he had also reached a conclusion. “He is bound to Elrond Half-Elven. His life-energy flows to the Peredhel, leaving him perpetually weak. It will probably be like that for the rest of his life.”

 

“Living like that for all eternity would be… unthinkable,” whispered Rumil in shock.

 

“We must be careful,” said Haldir, addressing his brothers. “Should our Lady and Lord suspect that we have come to care for our charge, they will appoint new guards and we do not want that, do we?”

 

Rumil sighed deeply. “We are hugely indebted to him.”

 

Orophin, who had overheard their conversation, nodded as well. If necessary they would act indifferently toward Erestor whenever Galadriel and Celeborn were close.

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

Galadriel and Celeborn had seated themselves and were now waiting for Haldir to deliver his report. They already knew that Erestor had bonded himself to Elrond, because tidings of the Peredhel’s miraculous recovery had reached them.

 

Haldir felt slightly nervous, now that he couldn’t be completely honest with his Lord and Lady, but he would do his best.

 

“Haldir, tell us why you arrived so late. We expected you to return yesterday.” Galadriel studied her most trusted guardian and sensed that something had changed, but she couldn’t label the sensation.

 

“As you ordered, we took Erestor to the camp at Mount Doom. We handed Glorfindel the scroll and Erestor was allowed to attend to Elrond Half-Elven.”

 

“And Erestor bonded with the Peredhel.” Celeborn nodded once.

 

“Aye.” Haldir considered what to tell and what to keep back. “When we left, Erestor appeared drained and I called for a rest.”

 

Galadriel raised one eyebrow delicately. “Rest?”

 

“My Lady, I know you ordered us to return at once, but he was injured and needed the rest.”

 

“Injured?” Now Celeborn studied Haldir closely as well. What was their guardian not telling them?

 

Haldir cleared his throat, uncomfortable with addressing this matter. “The Peredhel… claimed… Erestor. He was bleeding internally. Elrond Half-Elven had not been gentle and I thought it wise to let Erestor rest. Most certainly when one considers that it is his life-energy that sustains the Peredhel.”

 

“You were right then,” said Galadriel eventually. “Erestor must stay alive and strong enough to support Elrond.”

 

“Did anything else out of the ordinary happen?” Celeborn eyed his sentry. Like Galadriel, he wondered what Haldir was hiding from them.

 

Seeing their knowing expressions, Haldir caved in. “Orophin took a fall and broke his neck.”

 

Galadriel released a startled yelp. “But I saw him ride at your side when you arrived!”

 

Haldir coughed nervously. “Erestor used his healing skills to heal him.”

 

At that, Galadriel and Celeborn exchanged a surprised look. “I always wondered about Erestor,” said Celeborn eventually. “We are indebted to him, then.”

 

“Not you, my Lord,” said Haldir carefully. “Rumil, Orophin and I are.”

 

“And this will not affect your ability to guard him?” Galadriel considered replacing them with other sentries, who would treat Erestor as a prisoner, instead of their ‘charge’. But then again, Erestor had saved Orophin’s life. Taking this duty away from the three brothers would be dishonorable. 

 

Celeborn felt the same way. “Now that Erestor has kept his word, he has earned certain privileges. Once a week one of you will accompany him outside, but he is never to be left alone. He will also be allowed access to the library.” Celeborn frowned, seeing the disapproval in Haldir’s eyes. “Mellon, Erestor has been confined to his room for over three thousands years. Surely you do not begrudge him a weekly walk and reading some books?”

 

Haldir forced himself to remain calm. Celeborn had misinterpreted his look, and he wasn’t inclined to correct the other Elf. Let them think he wanted Erestor incarcerated. It would give him more leeway when he took the dark-haired Elf outside. “I trust you to know best.”

 

“Good. You may leave now. Rumil has taken first guard and you will relieve him tomorrow.” Galadriel inclined her head and watched Haldir leave. Once the sentry could no longer hear them, she said, “Something else happened. He is keeping things from us.”

 

Celeborn nodded, agreeing with her. “But I am pleased that Erestor carried out his part of the bargain.”

 

“Aye, and it is an eternal pity that he took part in the kinslayings. He is a talented healer.” Galadriel sighed and rested her head on her husband’s shoulder.

 

“We must keep an eye on Erestor,” said Celeborn thoughtfully. “I have the feeling he also has a very important part to play in Arda’s history.”

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

Erestor had frozen, now that he stood in his room again. These four walls had been a prison for a long time, but now they almost felt like home after his ordeal with Elrond Half-Elven. He headed into the bathroom, but didn’t bother to fill up the bathtub. Instead, he removed his clothes and quickly cleaned himself up. Once he felt relatively clean, he picked up a sleeping robe and curled up on his bed.

 

He made the mistake of remembering the treatment he had suffered at Elrond’s hands and tears reappeared in his eyes. He doubted he would ever forget the pain and humiliation he had endured that night. The worst thing was that he could still sense Elrond, the half-Elf’s weakness and constant need for his life-energy. Unable to break the bond, he gave in and let his energy flow down the bond.

 

“Erestor?”

 

His eyes opened, and he was startled to find Rumil in the doorway. “What do you want?” Couldn’t they give him some time to lick his wounds in private?

 

“I brought you something to eat.” Rumil placed the tray next to Erestor on the bed. “I reckon you are still hungry.”

 

He was, but Erestor refused to admit to it. “Thank you,” he whispered softly. The freshly baked bread, honey, meats and fruits did look extremely tempting. He blinked in surprise, finding Rumil had also added a carafe of wine. “Thank you,” he repeated again, uncertain why Rumil was still this generous and kind. Orophin was fine and now that they were off the road, he had expected his guardians to return to their normal, distant behavior.

 

Rumil cleared his throat and Erestor finally looked up, realizing the silver-haired Elf was hiding something behind his back.

 

“I thought you would want something to read. Lord Celeborn gave me permission to select some books for you.” Rumil placed three books on the nightstand.

 

Not trusting his voice any longer, Erestor nodded his head. Gingerly, he ate a slice of bread with honey and then indulged himself by eating some meat as well. He expected Rumil to take what was left over back to the kitchens, but the tray stayed on his bed.

 

“Are you still tired?” Rumil pulled up a chair and seated himself next to the bed, noticing the distressed expression in Erestor’s eyes. The healer still didn’t trust him and he realized it could take centuries for Erestor to come to trust him.

 

“Aye, I am tired.” But as long as Rumil continued to look at him like that, he couldn’t possibly rest.

 

Fortunately, Rumil realized that. He rose from his chair, walked over to the window and opened it to let some fresh air into the room. “I will check on you later. Is there anything you need?”

 

/Aye, my freedom back./ But Erestor didn’t say the words aloud. “Thank you for everything.”

 

Rumil frowned, disliking Erestor’s timid demeanor. “Haldir will take my place tomorrow and the Lady Galadriel instructed him to accompany you on your first walk.”

 

Erestor, too tired to continue this conversation, closed his eyes, curled up and wished Rumil would go away.

 

“I will return later,” whispered Rumil in understanding. He decided to leave the tray in the room, just in case Erestor got hungry again and then left, softly closing the door behind him.

 

Now that he was finally alone, Erestor released his tears and sobbed softly.

 

TBC

 

Beta read by Sulien.

All remaining mistakes are mine.

 

Heart in Chains.

Part 8.

 

 

“Are you ready to go?” Haldir smiled, pleased to find Erestor reading one of the books Rumil had brought yesterday. “I trust it is interesting lore?”

 

Erestor was surprised to see Haldir this early. Arien had just risen and he hadn’t expected the sentry until the evening. Haldir’s smile was infectious and he found himself returning it. “It distracts me.”

 

“From thinking about Elrond Half-Elven?” Haldir stepped into the small room and looked about – really looked about – noticing how sparsely furnished the other’s quarters were.

 

“I can sense him,” said Erestor slowly. “He is still weak, but growing stronger.” The Peredhel was a constant presence in his mind, something which he had found distressing at first, but now he was learning to enjoy being connected to the half-Elf, as he also felt Elrond’s moments of brief happiness and peace.

 

Haldir studied the dark-haired Elf. Erestor looked more fragile than he used to and the dark eyes seemed dull. “You need to get out into the open air.”

 

“Lord Celeborn is letting me take my walk then?” It was a pity that he would have to wait one week before he could go outside again, but at least now he had something to look forward to.

 

“Aye, I am to accompany you. Is there anywhere special you would like to go?”

 

“Can we avoid crowds? I do not want to encounter other Elves.” Erestor had seen their reactions when Galadriel and Celeborn had sentenced him millennia ago. Those eyes had been filled with hatred, distrust and loathing, and those sentiments wouldn’t have changed. He had no desire to feel those menacing eyes on him again.

 

“We can walk between the mellyrn, if you desire so.” Haldir raised a hand and signaled for Erestor to rise from his chair. “You can continue your reading later. ‘Tis much too beautiful a day to stay inside.”

 

Erestor placed the book aside and slowly got to his feet. “Are you sure you do not mind keeping me company? You must have more important tasks to carry out.”

 

Haldir studied Erestor extensively. What had this long imprisonment done to the dark-haired Elf? How had it affected him? And could those effects be undone? “Follow me outside.”

 

Erestor complied and together they descended the talan. “Am I not to be tied down? Threatened? Are you not worried that I will try to escape?” He had long given up on escaping and had accepted his fate. He even felt confident enough to lightly tease Haldir.

 

But Haldir didn’t catch on at once. He was about to answer Erestor’s questions in earnest, when he saw an unfamiliar sparkle in the other Elf’s eyes. He snorted and led Erestor toward the lake, away from the busier sections, giving Erestor the privacy he had asked for. “We will be alone here.”

 

Erestor nodded appreciatively, taking in his surroundings. Mist was rising from the earth and the gentle flow of water soothed his shaky nerves. It was impossible to lock out Elrond and the half-Elf was distressed at the moment, which caused him to feel distressed as well.

 

“Is something wrong?” Haldir saw unease in the hazel eyes.

 

“I can sense Elrond’s distress,” explained Erestor. “I hope the sensations will grow less in time.”

 

“Does it upset you? Being able to sense his emotions?” Haldir wondered what it felt like for Erestor.

 

“It takes some getting used to,” said Erestor eventually, finding himself opening up to the guardian, which surprised him. During his imprisonment here they had hardly spoken a word. “In one way it is comforting, knowing that I am not alone.”

 

/Alone,/ mused Haldir, /Aye, you have been very lonely in the past./ Recalling there was a garden with healing plants to their right, he signaled for Erestor to follow him.

 

Erestor easily fell into step beside Haldir, smiling weakly. Walking like this, with Haldir close, felt comforting. He could get used to it and immediately chided himself. It was stupid to grow attached to Haldir. Once the guardian felt he had paid his debt, Haldir would become more distant, more reserved. “Where are we headed?”

 

Haldir pointed at the garden and found that one of Celeborn’s healers was tending to the plants. “I thought these plants might be of interest to you.”

 

“That is very thoughtful of you,” said Erestor, surprise evident in his voice. He walked into the garden and started to examine and identify the healing plants. He wished he would be allowed to tend to them like the healer was doing, but Galadriel and Celeborn would never allow it.

 

The healer, seeing someone was interested in his plants, moved closer and began to explain about their healing qualities.

 

Haldir saw Erestor’s confusion and leaned against an oak tree, nodding his head to encourage the dark-haired Elf to learn from the older healer. A plan was forming in his head, but how would he get Celeborn to agree to it? He grinned smugly, seeing the Lord of the Golden Wood enter the garden as well.

 

Celeborn looked at Erestor in surprise and then searched for Haldir, knowing the guardian had to be close. After walking up to Haldir, he said, “You brought him here?”

 

“Aye, my Lord. Erestor is a healer. What place would be more suited for him to learn more about healing?” Slowly, his plan took shape. “Think about it, my Lord. He is a gifted healer; I know that because I saw him heal Orophin. Wouldn’t it be wise to let the healers teach him? Maybe his talents will serve us well in the future.” Haldir waited for one moment, pleased that Celeborn was actually considering his words. “And now that he is bound to Elrond Half-Elven we should take good care of him. When Erestor grows weak, so will the Peredhel.”

 

Celeborn carefully considered Haldir’s words, knowing the sentry had made a valid point. “I take it he could have escaped when Orophin took that fall?”

 

“Aye, but he didn’t. He stayed, and we did not have to ask for his help, he simply offered it.” Haldir hoped Celeborn would see things his way. “Why not give him part of the garden to tend? Let him study with the healers. We can only benefit from his knowledge and talent.”

 

Celeborn frowned. “Your words sound wise, but…” When Galadriel and he had sentenced Erestor to life long imprisonment for taking part in the kinslayings, they hadn’t considered the future. Erestor had been their prisoner for many millennia now and maybe it was time for some changes. /We cannot keep him confined to his room until the end of Arda. Not after he rescued Elrond and Orophin./

 

“My Lord?” Erestor, having felt Celeborn’s eyes on him, gingerly approached, respectfully inclining his head. “I hope I am not trespassing? I do not want Haldir to get into trouble because he brought me here.”

 

Celeborn remained quiet as he continued to study Erestor. He even went so far as to probingly touch the dark-haired Elf’s mind, something he had never done before. He was surprised when he felt the texture of Erestor’s mind, which was warm and open, hiding nothing. Again, he wondered how Erestor had ever gotten entangled in the kinslayings. Reaching a decision, he said, “Would you like to study with the healers, Erestor?”

 

The dumbfounded expression in Erestor’s eyes made Celeborn chuckle, but he quickly steeled his face. Seeing Erestor nod firmly, he hoped he was making the right decision. “You may study with them on a daily bases, then. Two hours a day. Furthermore, you will be assigned the care for part of this garden. As a healer you need to know how to grow and harvest these healing plants. The healers will teach you.”

 

Erestor blinked dazedly and finally found his voice again. “But… I am not allowed to venture outside more than once a week.”

 

“That has changed,” said Celeborn, shrugging his shoulders. “But in return I need your word of honor that you won’t try to leave.”

 

“My word of *honor*? I thought I did not possess any, being a murderer.” Erestor instantly regretting lashing out, afraid that Celeborn might take back the privileges he had just given him. “I apologize. That was uncalled for.” Erestor quickly lowered his eyes, praying to the Valar that Celeborn wouldn’t reconsider. “I won’t try to escape.”

 

Celeborn nodded, sensing Erestor’s conflicting emotions. “I believe you. You may study with the healers and tend to this garden. In turn, I want you to attend to the needs of the wounded when they need your help.”

 

“I won’t turn anyone anyway,” promised Erestor, “But I doubt anyone will want help from a kinslayer.”

 

“You always claimed you had no part in it,” said Celeborn in a thoughtful tone. Why was he beginning to believe that now?

 

“I had no part in it,” said Erestor firmly, averting his eyes to look at the healer, who was gathering herbs. “I did not kill Rhoss. He was one of the few friends I ever had.” But Erestor had long ago convinced himself that no one would ever believe him, so he didn’t put any effort into trying to convince Celeborn now. “May I return to the healer? He was telling me about the plants.”

 

“Aye.” Celeborn’s eyes narrowed, when Erestor hurried back to the healer’s side. “Haldir, did we make a mistake?”

 

“I asked myself the same question,” said Haldir slowly, watching Erestor and seeing the chocolate eyes fill with curiosity and the desire to learn. “Orophin found Erestor kneeling beside Rhoss, his fingers locked tightly around the hilt of the knife that had been plunged into his heart.”

 

A startling thought drifted into Celeborn’s mind. “Or was he keeping the knife in place to make sure there was no extra blood loss?”

 

Haldir tensed. “Is that possible?”

 

“Aye, a healer would know better than to remove the knife.” Celeborn eyed Erestor closely, realizing there was a possibility that they had misjudged the dark-haired Elf. Celeborn was now determined to finally discover the truth about Erestor.

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

Two weeks later, Celeborn visited with the healers, inquiring about Erestor. They told him that the dark-haired Elf was a very motivated student. They were very pleased with the progress Erestor was making and told Celeborn that they had never seen such healing strength in an Elf before. Erestor had the ability to heal without the use of herbs, which was very rare. Celeborn distinctly noticed the proud, approving glance in the healers’ eyes, who all hoped Erestor would be allowed to continue to work with them.

 

After taking his leave, Celeborn considered everything he had learned. He was sure the healers would have sensed evil intentions if Erestor had them, but they had grown fond of him instead. So what did that tell him about Erestor? The more he thought about it, the more he tended to believe Erestor when the dark-haired Elf said that he hadn’t slain Rhoss. That was a frightening concept. They had condemned Erestor to a pitiful life, based on a misunderstanding.

 

He had discussed this with Galadriel, but had found that his wife didn’t share his opinions. She was still convinced of Erestor’s guilt and refused to reconsider the sentence. That left him in a difficult situation; they had to present a united front and couldn’t disagree with each other openly.

 

Reaching the garden, he found that Erestor was harvesting herbs. The reverence in the raven-haired Elf’s face told him that Erestor knew what these plants could do and how valuable they were. Suddenly Erestor’s movements froze; Celeborn realized that the younger Elf had sensed his presence and obviously felt uncomfortable around him. “Erestor.”

 

Erestor bowed respectfully and lowered his eyes. “My Lord.” He knew how fortunate he was that Celeborn had given him more personal freedom and he didn’t dare jeopardize it by challenging the Lord of the Golden Wood in any way. It was best to act respectfully and to wait for instructions.

 

“Walk with me.” Celeborn heard Erestor’s surprised gasp and signaled for the other Elf to fall into step beside him.

 

Gingerly – uncertain why Celeborn wanted to talk to him – Erestor did as he was told. “Did I do something to displease you?” Maybe he could right any wrongs he had done?

 

“I talked to your teachers. The healers are very pleased with you.”

 

Celeborn’s unexpected praise shocked Erestor. “My Lord?”

 

“You work hard, are in the open air for hours and yet you remain pale – fragile. Why is that?”

 

Erestor frowned. “My Lord, surely you know that a large part of my life energy is now flowing to Elrond Half-Elven?”

 

Celeborn glanced at Erestor. Aye, he knew, but he hadn’t been aware of the fact that Elrond received such a large amount from the other’s Elf life energy. And that it would last this long. “Tell me, then. How does Elrond fare?”

 

Erestor swallowed hard. “He is still mourning his lover’s death.”

 

“But he is no longer thinking about following him to the Halls of Waiting?”

 

“Nay, he has accepted that he will live. I can feel his acceptance.” Erestor wondered why Celeborn was bringing this up. “There are even brief moments of happiness.”

 

“Good.” Celeborn’s head was bowed in thought, hands clasped behind his back and eyes trained on the ground, as if ‘Lorien’s soil could advise him. “And how are *you* dealing with this?”

 

Erestor was so stunned that he stopped walking. “My Lord?”

 

Celeborn turned toward him and searched Erestor’s gaze. “I have been thinking about this matter. You bound yourself to Elrond, and you are strengthening him and yet you receive nothing in return.”

 

“Nothing? I would not call this nothing.” Erestor stared at the healing herbs he was carrying. “You are giving me the chance to find part of myself again.”

 

Celeborn felt humbled, hearing those words. “I am glad you find some measure of happiness here.”

 

“It is the best I could hope for.” Celeborn’s behavior puzzled Erestor, but he followed obediently when the Lord of the Golden Wood escorted him to the talan where the healers stayed.

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

Erestor startled awake, his hands rubbing his stomach, trying to soothe the nausea that had woken him every morning for this last week. Ithil had waxed and waned twice since he had bound himself to Elrond and he continued to feel weaker. He struggled to sit upright, but when he had finally succeeded in doing so, his stomach contracted. Quickly he covered his mouth with his hand and stumbled into the bathroom, spitting into the sink.

 

What was wrong with him? Something was amiss with his body, but he was at a loss to what it was. Except for the nausea, he felt tired, bloated, and his limbs cramped up during the night.

 

Maybe he had overestimated himself two moons ago when he had first saved Elrond and then Orophin, and was paying the price for it now. It was very well possible that his body was trying to tell him to rest, sleep and eat more. But the mere thought of food made his stomach contract again.

 

Once his stomach was completely empty, he rinsed his mouth with water. “What shall I do?” He could ask the healers, but he was fairly sure he had merely exhausted himself and that only rest would help. But he didn’t want to stop studying with the healers. Celeborn had made it very clear that he expected Erestor to commit to his work and he was afraid the Lord might reconsider, hearing he had stopped attending his lessons.

 

Nay, returning to his bed to rest was out of the question. He would go to bed early tonight, hoping to catch up on his sleep and give his body a chance to recover -- as far as it was possible for him to recover. Now that he had to share his life energy with Elrond, he would never feel whole again. Maybe it would be best to get used to feeling this way.

 

Erestor forced himself to quickly bathe, and after changing into his robes, he left his room to join the healers.

 

When had the sentries stopped escorting him to the healers’ talan? One morning, he had been waiting for one of his jailors to take him to the healers, but when Rumil hadn’t shown up, he had grown worried. An hour later, one of the healers had appeared at his door, wondering why he hadn’t joined them yet. That had been the moment when Erestor had realized a bit more freedom had been given to him. Since that day, he made his way to the healers’ talan alone, enjoying the peace and quiet.

 

But this morning things were slightly different. He was pre-occupied because Elrond was particularly brooding and he felt like he could faint any moment now. He had to stop walking and leaned against the trunk of a tree. Unexpectedly, strength rose from the ash tree, trying to give him the energy he needed to continue his walk.

 

After thanking the tree for its gift, he felt strong enough to continue.

 

/What if the healers see something is wrong with me? I do not want them complaining to Celeborn./ But part of him corrected him; the healers cared about him and would never speak badly of him.

 

“Erestor? Are you well?” Orophin, who had been on his way to the talan he shared with his brothers, happened upon Erestor by accident.

 

“I am… tired,” Erestor said slowly, wondering why his chest cramped up with pain. “I need to go the healers.”

 

Orophin nodded. “Aye, you look like you need their help.”

 

“Help? Nay, I need to study with them.” The chest pain faded, but his stomach continued to torment him. He desperately wanted to lie down and curl up beneath a warm, sheltering blanket. He almost pulled back when Orophin wrapped an arm around his waist. “I am fine. I do not need…” He stumbled over his own two feet and would have fallen, had it not been for Orophin’s steadying arm.

 

“It is Elrond, isn’t it?” Deep lines appeared on Orophin’s brow. “He is draining you.”

 

“Probably,” agreed Erestor.

 

“Is there anything I can do to help?”

 

“I doubt it.” Erestor drew in a deep, steadying breath, let it go and then nodded once. “I can manage again.”

 

Orophin reluctantly removed his arm, but continued to keep a close eye on Erestor. “I will walk you to the healers’ talan.”

 

“That won’t be necessary. I can tell you are tired. You should head for your own talan and rest.”

 

”I can rest after escorting you,” said Orophin determined. Ever since Erestor had saved his life he felt protective of the Elf and seeing Erestor in this weakened state worried him. “I will make sure you get there without taking a fall.”

 

Recognizing the determined look in Orophin’s eyes, Erestor gave in.

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

Camfael felt worried, seeing the state Erestor was in. The dark-haired Elf seemed weak, unbalanced and he was ghostly pale. “Is something ailing you?” During the last few months the healer had grown fond of Erestor, after casting aside any prejudice he might have had against the ‘kinslayer’. “Will you allow me to examine you?”

 

Erestor began to shake his head, but then saw Orophin’s disapproval. What was the sentry still doing here? “Shouldn’t you head for your talan?”

 

“Not yet. First Camfael will check on you.” Determinedly, Orophin crossed his arms in front of his chest.

 

“But that is not necessary,” said Erestor pleadingly. “I only need to rest.” His eyes widened when his stomach decided to do a series of nauseating somersaults. “’Tis a good thing I have not eaten yet today.”

 

“When was the last time you ate?” Camfael gently eased Erestor down onto a bed. “Let me examine you.” By looking in Erestor’s eyes he could tell that his student didn’t like that idea, but if necessary, he would insist.

 

“I ate some soup last night,” said Erestor slowly, closing his eyes to compose himself. They opened again, feeling Camfael’s hands unbutton his shirt. “I do not think that is nece—“

 

“Erestor…” Camfael gave his student a look that said, ‘Do not defy me’.

 

Sighing, Erestor gave in, but then grew aware of the fact that Orophin was still present. It was bad enough to feel Camfael’s probing hands, but now he had to deal with Orophin’s questioning stare as well. “You do not have to stay.”

 

Orophin finally took pity on the raven-haired Elf and walked over to the doorway. “Either I, or one of my brothers will check on you later.”

 

“That is not neces—“

 

“Erestor!” Camfael was getting fed up with his student’s behavior. “They are worried about you.”

 

“I know, but…” The idea that someone worried about him was a novel experience and he didn’t know how to deal with the attention. “Thank you, Orophin,” he said eventually, feeling guilty for trying to brush the silver-haired Elf off.

 

Orophin nodded, smiled, and then left so Camfael could properly examine Erestor. Haldir would want to know that something was wrong with the dark-haired healer and he hurried to their talan to tell his older brother.

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

Camfael’s hands drifted lower, now probing Erestor’s abdominal region. Frowning, he asked, “When did this start?”

 

“My stomach has been upset for one week now and I just made it to the sink in time before dinner made a return visit.” The probing didn’t exactly hurt, but as he wasn’t used to being touched in such a way, he blushed, embarrassed. “I cannot explain it.”

 

Camfael’s frown deepened, not believing the conclusion he had reached. It was not possible, but there was no other explanation. “Did something… out of the ordinary happen about two months ago?”

 

The healer’s question made Erestor uncomfortable. “Maybe.” He couldn’t tell Camfael about the bonding that had taken place back then. “Why are you asking?”

 

“Have you noticed your body changing?” Camfael realized Erestor hadn’t when he saw the dumbfounded expression in the brown eyes.

 

“Changing?” Erestor swallowed hard. “Camfael, why is my body changing?” Startled, he tried to sit upright, but Camfael stopped him.

 

“Do not sit up. Rest.” He probed Erestor’s abdomen one last time, affirming his first conclusion and then pulled up a chair to sit down. There was no way to ask this discretely. “Erestor, did you have intercourse two months ago?”

 

Erestor’s eyes widened. “What?” Why was Camfael asking him something that personal?

 

“Well, did you?” Camfael made sure his voice sounded warm and soothing, realizing he would hugely shock Erestor in a moment. The younger Elf really had no idea what had happened to him. “Answer my question, mellon.”

 

Erestor released a deep sigh. “Aye, I did.”

 

Camfael cringed, having to ask his next question. “And you were on the receiving end?”

 

A fierce blush spread over Erestor’s face. “Aye,” he whispered, barely audible. He had never thought he would end up discussing this with anyone!

 

“Erestor, this will come as a shock to you,” started Camfael in a kind tone, gathering Erestor’s shaky hand in his, “But you have received indeed. You are with child.” Although he had prepared himself to deal with several reactions, Erestor fainting when hearing this news hadn’t been one of them.

 

“It really was a shock, then.” He said, smoothing Erestor’s dark hair away from the unconscious Elf’s face. “But you are in the best hands. We will take good care of you.” It was extremely rare for a male Elf to conceive. “I do wonder who the father is,” Camfael mused aloud. “We will have to find out.”

 

TBC

 

Beta read by Sulien.

All remaining mistakes are mine.

 

Heart in Chains.

Part 9.

 

 

Erestor sat quietly, staring at the flames that danced in the fireplace. He had never thought it possible he could conceive, and finding himself pregnant scared him witless. Camfael had done his best to reassure him, but the other healer had unwillingly added to his fears by telling him that his abdomen had to be opened when the hour of birth arrived.

 

/I do not care if I live or die. I want what is best for my child. I do not want my baby to grow up in this prison./ Once he had accepted that he was pregnant, he had realized what kind of life the little one would have and he was already making plans to ensure his child’s safety and happiness.

 

He hoped he could hide his pregnancy until the moment of birth. In the meantime, he hoped he would find someone willing to take this innocent, new life out of Galadriel and Celeborn’s reach once the babe was born. Maybe one of the healers would help him. He was hesitant to ask one of the three brothers, not wanting them to fall into disgrace with their Lord and Lady.

 

Although he was only in his second month of pregnancy, he already cared deeply for the new life inside him. The mere fact that a child was growing inside him filled him with awe and respect. /But why is this happening to me?/ Was it because he had bound himself to Elrond in such a way?

 

/I will never find out why and I cannot use up the little energy I have left by tormenting myself in that way. I am carrying a new life inside me and I have to be careful. No one except for Camfael can find out. Once Galadriel and Celeborn learn the truth they will take my child away from me or confine the little one to my room. I cannot let that happen./

 

At least he had one person to talk to about his child. Camfael knew and had promised to keep his condition a secret, for which he felt grateful. /I will need his expertise when my baby is ready to be born./ He just had to be very careful not to run into Galadriel or Celeborn by accident. Wearing loose robes would hopefully hide his condition.

 

Instinctively, his right hand came to rest on his abdomen. It was still too early to feel any distension, and he wondered about the miracle that was taking place inside his body. “Maybe I can arrange for you to be taken to Elrond, little one.” He couldn’t help talking privately to his unborn child. The sound of his own voice soothed him. “I can never tell Elrond that he is your father, but he might be willing to let you live in Imladris, far away from Galadriel and Celeborn.”

 

“You are brooding,” said Haldir, surprised that the usually alert Erestor hadn’t noticed his arrival.

 

Hearing the guardian’s soft, melodic voice made Erestor shift uneasily on his chair. Normally, he would rise to greet the other Elf, but now he felt too drained. “’Tis Elrond,” he lied, knowing that Haldir wouldn’t pressure him into revealing his troubled thoughts where the half-Elf was concerned. Haldir considered that a private matter and never pried. The guardian didn’t disappoint him this time either. The silver-haired Elf sat down opposite him and Erestor forced himself to meet the probing gaze. “What brings you here?”

 

“Orophin told me you did not feel well earlier today and I wanted to check on you.” Although Erestor seemed to have settled back into his daily routine, Haldir’s instincts told him that something had upset the dark-haired Elf. “Is it something Galadriel has said or done?”

 

Erestor shook his head. “I am merely tired, Haldir.”

 

Haldir studied the dark eyes and found hints of fear and fatigue in them. Although Celeborn had assured Erestor that he could go outside when he desired so, the healer often preferred the privacy of his room. Haldir wondered why. Erestor had been confined to these four walls for so long that he had thought the raven-haired Elf eager to go outside when possible. But during these last two weeks Erestor had begun to lock himself up in here. Haldir cocked his head. “I am sorry to hear that. I had hoped you would join me for a walk.” He caught the shivers that coursed through Erestor’s body and recalled that the dark-haired Elf was afraid of the condemning glances he might receive from the Galadhrim. “We can go to your garden.”

 

“I am honored you would seek out my company,” said Erestor carefully, “But I would prefer to stay here and read.”

 

“Maybe tomorrow evening, then?” Haldir felt reluctant to leave, but realized Erestor wasn’t enjoying his company this evening.

 

“Maybe,” said Erestor without commitment. His right leg was cramping up and he hoped Haldir would leave quickly. At the same time, his stomach growled loudly, reminding him that he hadn’t eaten much today. He had kept his food intake to a minimum, as he didn’t want to risk more morning sickness.

 

“You are hungry. Let me fetch you something from the kitchens.” Haldir’s worries increased, seeing Erestor’s features contract briefly. “Are you sure you are fine?”

 

“As I said before, I am tired, Haldir. Elrond… required a lot of my life energy today.” Part of it was a lie. Aye, Elrond still soaked up a large part of his energy, but that was not the main reason why he felt this tired.

 

“I will be right back,” said Haldir, rising from his chair. He walked over to the doorway and after closing the door behind him, he headed for the kitchens. Just what was wrong with Erestor and what could he do to remedy it?

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

“Thank you, Haldir,” said Erestor politely, after emptying the plate filled with food that Haldir had brought. Once he had begun eating, he had been unable to stop until he had devoured everything. “I was hungrier than I thought.” He leaned back into the comfort of his chair, pushing the empty plate away from him.

 

Haldir smiled pleased. “You should rest now.” He got to his feet and studied Erestor for one more moment. A soft glow lay in the brown eyes, which he had never seen before. Erestor looked contented right now. “I will visit with you tomorrow.”

 

Erestor smiled. “Thank you for caring about me.” It felt good to have a friend. Maybe Haldir would help him get his child into safety? But he didn’t want to get Haldir into trouble with the Lord and Lady. /I do not have to decide this now. It will be ten more months until this little one is born./

 

Seeing Erestor’s eyes were beginning to grow vacant, Haldir excused himself, eager for the dark-haired Elf to rest.

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

“You may get dressed again,” said Camfael. He failed to keep his concern out of his voice and immediately noticed Erestor’s darkening expression. “We need to talk.”

 

Erestor swallowed hard. Four more moons had waxed and waned and he was beginning to show. It was just a small bump, and no one else would notice it beneath his loose robes, but he knew it was there. 

 

After pushing himself to his feet, he gathered his robes and slipped into them. He fastened them with a leather belt and then took a seat opposite the other healer, whose face was wrinkled with worry. “Is anything wrong?” Until now he hadn’t thought of possible complications or a miscarriage, but Camfael’s behavior worried him.

 

“I would not call it ‘wrong’,” said Camfael thoughtfully. “I assumed you were carrying one child, but it appears I was wrong. You are carrying twins.”

 

Erestor fought for breath. “Twins?” Inwardly, he felt hysterical. Why was he surprised? Elrond and Elros were twins as well. “So I am carrying twins…”

 

“This makes your pregnancy even more complicated… and difficult. Erestor,” Camfael leaned in closer and gathered Erestor’s right hand in his. “There is a possibility that you will not survive the birth. Carrying twins will greatly tax your body and you are already in a weakened state.”

 

As Erestor had vowed to keep his bond with Elrond a secret, he had never been able to tell Camfael that he shared his life force with the half-Elf. The fact that Elrond still needed his life energy to grow stronger weakened him in turn, but he couldn’t tell Camfael that. “I have a request,” he whispered eventually.

 

Camfael nodded once. “I will try to help.”

 

“I do not want my children to inherit my imprisonment here. I do not know how Galadriel and Celeborn will react when they are born, but I do not want to condemn my children to my fate. Would you take them away from here? Find them a safe and caring home? Maybe in Imladris? I heard Elrond Half-Elven is a kind and wise ruler.”

 

Camfael understood Erestor’s motives, but wasn’t sure he could comply. “I will do my best to take your children to Imladris. Maybe Haldir can also help?” He was Celeborn’s chief healer and his absence would immediately be noticed. He couldn’t simply leave Lothlorien like that. “I promise you that I will do the best I can.”

 

Wrapping his arms around his waist, Erestor pleadingly looked at the other healer. “What will happen next? What do I do to ensure they remain healthy and continue to grow stronger?”

 

“Most importantly, take good care of yourself, eat and rest. Do not use your healing energy in any way whatsoever. Maintain your strength. Are you still suffering from morning sickness?”

 

Erestor shook his head. “It stopped a few days ago, but now I am hungry all the time.”

 

“You are eating for the three of you,” said Camfael thoughtfully. “I will tell Lord Celeborn that you are to study in your room in the morning. That way you can get some extra rest.”

 

Erestor nodded thankfully. “I will rest, eat, and take care of myself.” But he couldn’t hide how miserable he felt.

 

“I wish you would reconsider and tell me the father’s name, Erestor. You should not have to do this alone. There is another party involved and he needs to know he fathered these children.”

 

“I cannot tell you,” whispered Erestor in a guilty tone. “It is for the best that no one knows, and certainly not the father.” He slowly pushed himself to his feet, eager to return to the peace and quiet of his room. “I never suspected I could be carrying twins,” he mumbled absentmindedly.

 

“They will be born in six months,” said Camfael, hoping Erestor had the strength to survive. “And please consider telling our Lord and Lady. I understand your hesitance to confide in them, but I do not share your opinion. I do not think they will punish your children for something you did millennia ago.”

 

“I wish I shared your view.” Erestor bowed his head. “But I do not.” He was extremely protective of his children and wouldn’t risk their freedom. “Please respect my wish to keep this a secret.”

 

“I will respect your decision, but I do not agree with it.”

 

“You do not have to,” whispered Erestor dejectedly.

 

Camfael watched his charge shuffle out of the room. To him, Erestor’s fate was a tragic one and he wished he could somehow aid the dark-haired Elf, but his hands were tied. He had promised Erestor to keep this a secret.

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

Erestor looked up from an ancient scroll, which Camfael had asked him to study. It documented two cases of male pregnancy and the healer had hoped to reassure him by asking him to read about them. But instead, he had grown terrified. Although both Elves had survived giving birth, the children had died. He didn’t want to have to bury his babies.

 

Two more months had passed and still he managed to hide his pregnancy, which was becoming increasingly difficult, as his food intake was beginning to puzzle Haldir and his brothers. Occasionally they would bring him sweet treats, which he immediately devoured. /I have to be more careful or they might figure out that something is wrong./

 

His body twitched, feeling one of the babies kick. When he had first felt it, he had panicked and hurried to ask Camfael if something was wrong, but the healer had smiled and reassured him. Since then, the babies had begun to kick more regularly, making it very clear they were determined to be born in four months.

 

What amazed him was how quickly they were growing. And with that realization came the worry that he might not be able to keep his pregnancy hidden. /I will have to confide in Haldir shortly./ He had hoped to postpone that conversation for a few more months.

 

“I will make sure you will grow up in freedom.” He didn’t know the gender of his children, but his instincts told him he might be carrying boys. Knowing that he wouldn’t be able to see them grow up, his eyes filled with tears, and again he wondered what he had ever done wrong to deserve such a cruel fate.

 

“Erestor, we need your help!” Rumil cried franticly as he ran into the room. His eyes danced wildly in their sockets and after locating the dark-haired Elf, he quickly grabbed Erestor’s hand, dragging him to his feet. “You have to help!”

 

“What happened?” Erestor was unable to stop Rumil when the sentry pulled him along. He was quickly growing breathless, but Rumil didn’t seem to notice and set an even faster pace.

 

“A pack of Orcs attacked us and many were wounded.”

 

Erestor’s heart missed a beat. “Your brothers… Are they…?”

 

“Haldir and Orophin merely received scratches, but other sentries are more seriously injured. The healers cannot identify the poison the Orcs used to coat their arrow heads with and now Telu, one of the sentries, is dying. The healers have given up on him, but I know you can stop him from entering the Great Halls.”

 

Erestor wanted to object when Rumil pushed him into the tent that held the injured. Several gazes, filled with loathing and disapproval, fastened on him and he wished the ground would open and swallow him, but nothing happened. Instead, he stood frozen.

 

“Come with me!” Rumil dragged Erestor along with him and didn’t stop until he had reached the last cot. “Telu, I brought help! Erestor will heal you!” Telu had saved his life once and the Galadhrim was a skilled and respected fighter. Rumil promised himself that they wouldn’t lose him.

 

“Erestor?” With his remaining strength, Telu’s blue eyes sought out the kinslayer. “I do not want his help!” His body convulsed due to the poison, which was still spreading through his body. “I would rather die than…” He released a scream, filled with pain and horror, sensing his fëa was leaving his body.

 

Erestor, ghostly pale, wished Rumil would release him so he could run back to his room. Hearing those condemning words reminded him that most Elves still shunned and hated him.

 

“Erestor, he is delirious and does not know what he is saying. Please help him! He is a trusted friend and saved my life in the past. He does not deserve to die like this.” Rumil pleadingly stared at Erestor.

 

“Rumil, I…” Telu’s eyes were closing, now that eternal sleep was upon him and Erestor wavered. He knew he could help the injured Elf and he was willing to do so in spite of the hatred that the other Elf felt for him, but he had to consider his unborn children above all. They needed his life energy to grow. By giving it to Telu he might hurt his unborn children.

 

“I knew he would not do it. Once a kinslayer, always a kinslayer,” spat Seregon, one of the sentries, who had overheard the conversation. “He would rather watch Telu die.”

 

Erestor’s eyes flared with anger as he sought out the Elf’s hate-filled eyes. He wished he could tell them why he was this hesitant. If it weren’t for his pregnancy, he wouldn’t have wavered.

 

“Heal him,” said Seregon, raising his dagger and holding it against Erestor’s throat. “Heal him or experience the same pain Telu is in.”

 

Rumil hissed and tried to sweep the arm away that held the dagger, but the other sentries wouldn’t have it. Hearing the whispers that emanated from his fellow Galadhrim, Rumil grew worried for Erestor’s well-being. This was turning ugly quickly. “’Tis Erestor’s decision whether to heal Telu or not,” he pointed out to them, but they didn’t listen. More voices joined in, demanding Erestor heal Telu.

 

Erestor panicked when Rumil was pushed away from him. He lost sight of the silver-haired Elf and when he tried to look for Rumil, he froze. The sharp tip of the dagger was now dipping beneath his skin, drawing blood.

 

“I said; heal him, kinslayer.”

 

Tears threatened to spill from his eyes but he held them back, not wanting them to see his misery. /What of my babies? Will they survive?/ But he didn’t get much time to ponder his dilemma. One of the sentries pushed him down onto his knees and he was now level with Telu, who was about to release his last breath.

 

“Heal him or face our wrath!”

 

Erestor’s vision became tunnel-like and their voices and enraged screams came to him from a great distance. Fighting nausea, he placed one hand on Telu’s chest. He wrapped his other arm protectively around his own waist, hoping he had enough strength to sustain them all. Unable to keep his tears back any longer, they flowed down his cheeks as he directed his energy into Telu’s dying body.

 

/I will lose my babies… I know I will. I am not strong enough to do this. And there is Elrond, who also draws his strength from me. I am so sorry, little ones. I did not want this./ Sobbing softly, he no longer felt the tip of the dagger that dipped deeper beneath his already bloody skin.

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

“Nay, you cannot force him to do this!” Rumil, enraged that his actions had caused this, tried to fight his way back to Erestor’s side, but his friends stopped him. “Erestor might be too weak! We cannot force him!” He had seen Erestor go to the edge before, but it had been voluntarily then. There was no way of telling how being forced into this would affect the healer.

 

Suddenly, Haldir appeared at his side, and Rumil acted at once. “Muindor, help me!”

 

His men’s angry screams had alerted Haldir and he had hurried to the tent and inside. He was enraged, seeing Seregon holding a dagger to Erestor’s throat. “This is not the way!” One didn’t force a healer to use his life energy in that way. His men had gone mad, now that they had suffered so greatly due to the Orcs’ attack. “Release him!”

 

But like Rumil, he failed to stop them.

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

Silent tears dripped down Erestor’s face, feeling the two fragile lights inside him fade away and then die. His healing energy was still flowing into Telu, saving the sentry from certain death. In this moment of terrible loss, he forgot about his duty to Elrond. /Have all of me, then./ It was his final act of defiance, giving all of him, hoping his inner light would be extinguished along with the twins’. /I want to die…/ He had nothing left to live for now that he had lost the twins. Losing consciousness, he collapsed onto the floor – one arm still wrapped protectively around his waist.

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

Camfael noticed the commotion too late. Making his way through the assembled crowd, his eyes flashed with rage, finding Erestor curled up on the floor. He glared at Seregon, who only now removed the blade from Erestor’s throat.

 

“You had better see to Telu instead of the kinslayer,” said Seregon in a pleased tone, now that his friend had been saved from certain death.

 

Camfael ordered one of the other healers to look after Telu and then gathered Erestor in his arms. The dark-haired Elf was cold and motionless in his arms and his instincts told him that Erestor had lost his children. “I will deal with the lot of you later,” he said in a booming voice.

 

The group of sentries finally realized they had crossed the line by forcing Erestor to aid Telu, and made way, letting Camfael pass unhindered.

 

Catching sight of Haldir and Rumil, Camfael called out to them. “Rumil, find Lord Celeborn and tell him that I need his assistance. Tell him that it is urgent. And Haldir, I need you to come with me.” Cradling Erestor’s limp body tightly against his chest, he carried the raven-haired Elf to that section of the talan where he could perform the necessary surgery on his student.

 

Haldir hurried over to Camfael’s side whilst Rumil left in search of Celeborn. The two Elves were greatly worried, seeing Erestor this still. “What happened to him? Did he use too much of his life energy?”

 

Camfael’s jaw was set firmly, as he marched over to the cot that would serve as his operating table. “I do not have the time to explain. Haldir, undress Erestor and keep your eye on him. Should he regain consciousness, tell me!” He then left to retrieve healing herbs, surgical instruments and bandages. He also instructed his students to heat lots of water.

 

Haldir swallowed hard, seeing the empty expression in Erestor’s eyes. When Erestor had healed Orophin, the raven-haired Elf had been exhausted as well, but conscious and coherent. Erestor’s current condition filled him with dread. He pulled up a chair and sat down beside Erestor. One of the raven-haired Elf’s hands rested in his and he rubbed the icy skin, whilst mumbling softly. “Camfael will take good care of you, Erestor. Please hold on.”

 

Camfael entered the room again. Seeing Haldir this concerned he wondered if maybe the march warden was the father of Erestor’s children. He would find out quickly enough. “I told you to undress him!”

 

Haldir flinched at Camfael’s hard tone. “My worries—“

 

Camfael cut him short. “Help me now, then!” He gently pulled Erestor in a sitting position and supported the other Elf whilst Haldir removed the cloak and robes, which Erestor was wearing.

 

Haldir frowned when removing Erestor’s undergarments, finding the dark-haired Elf had put on weight. But that shouldn’t surprise him, recalling the large amount of food Erestor had eaten these last few months.

 

Camfael had watched Haldir closely and it was obvious to him that the sentry had no idea about the condition Erestor was in. Now that Erestor was naked, he eased his charge back onto the cot. Ignoring Haldir for now, he concentrated on Erestor. His hands probed his patient’s abdominal area and his worst suspicions were confirmed. “He really has lost them.”

 

Haldir cringed at the defeated tone in Camfael’s voice. “He lost what?” He felt seriously confused now that the healer continued to examine Erestor’s abdominal area. “What are you talking about?”

 

“He did not tell you? He said he would.” Camfael needed a moment to compose himself. Against all odds, he had hoped that Erestor and the babies would be all right eventually.

 

“Told me what?” Growing suspicious, Haldir cocked his head. Camfael took him by surprise when the healer took hold of one of his hands and placed it on Erestor’s abdomen. Frowning, he realized he felt some sort of mass beneath the soft skin.

 

“He was pregnant. Erestor carried twins.”

 

Camfael’s words shocked Haldir. “Pregnant? But how? Why? When?” His mind was trying hard to accept what Camfael had told him, but part of him dismissed it as impossible. “Male Elves do not become pregnant!” Camfael had reached the wrong conclusion, was lying to him… That had to be it! This couldn’t be the truth!

 

“It is extremely rare, but not impossible.” Camfael drew in a deep breath; he had to know! ”Haldir, are you the father? Did you bed him eight months ago?”

 

Haldir’s eyes widened in disbelief. “What?” His thoughts began to race. “Eight months ago?” Erestor had bound himself to Elrond eight months ago. /These were Elrond’s children./ Then something else registered. “Twins? He lost both of them?”

 

“I can no longer sense their inner lights.” Camfael slowly realized that Haldir had had no part in this. “It must have happened when those fools forced him to heal Telu. The life energy Telu received was meant to keep the children alive. Erestor simply was too weak to sustain the four of them.”

 

Haldir swayed and had to reach for the wall to steady himself. “By the Grace of the Valar…” /The *five* of them! Elrond also draws his strength from Erestor. What did we do?/

 

“I will have to remove the dead fetuses. If I do not do it, we will lose Erestor as well.” Camfael wished he had arrived sooner. Maybe he would have been able to prevent this tragedy.

 

Haldir nodded. He still felt shaky, but he would do whatever he could in order to help. /Erestor never told Elrond. I would have known if a messenger had been dispatched to Imladris. He suffered in silence./ That fact saddened him immensely.

 

Unexpectedly, the door opened and Celeborn, quickly followed by Rumil, marched inside. Seeing Camfael and Haldir’s distressed expressions, Celeborn knew something was terribly amiss. Then his gaze was drawn to Erestor’s naked form. As he too was trained in the art of healing, he noticed Erestor’s distended stomach. Haldir’s hand still rested atop of it. Uncertain what conclusion to draw, he looked to Camfael for an explanation. “What ails him?”

 

Camfael drew himself to his full height, knowing he needed to be strong and calm for Erestor’s sake. “Erestor suffered a miscarriage, losing the twins he was carrying.”

 

For one terrible moment Celeborn found that his heart had stopped beating. Time stood still, hearing this terrible news. “He was pregnant?” He had never noticed a thing! “Are you sure?” How could this have happened? Galadriel hadn’t mentioned this to him. Had she known or had the mirror simply not shown her this would happen? He would ask her later.

 

“Convince yourself.” Camfael removed Haldir’s hand from Erestor’s abdomen and waited for Celeborn to check for himself. He suspected Celeborn knew more about this, but it didn’t look like his Lord would enlighten him.

 

Celeborn looked over his shoulder at Rumil, hearing the younger Elf release a strangled whimper. Rumil hadn’t known either, then. Walking toward their patient, he repeated Camfael’s earlier examination. “You are right. He suffered a miscarriage.” How could this have escaped his attention? /Camfael said twins. Erestor truly carried Elrond’s heirs, then./ Saddened by the realization that Erestor had lost both babies, he met Camfael’s condemning gaze. “I never wanted for this to happen.”

 

Camfael knew it wasn’t his place to ask, but he did it anyway. “Are you their father?”

 

Celeborn sighed deeply. “Nay, I am not.” He didn’t feel offended by Camfael’s question, understanding why the healer wanted to know. Realizing he had to take charge, he looked at Haldir. “Camfael and I will take care of Erestor. Your services are no longer needed.”

 

Haldir swallowed hard. He wanted to stay, but couldn’t defy Celeborn. Glancing at Rumil, he saw the guilt and shock in his brother’s eyes and realized he had to get him out of here. “Rumil, come with me.” He wrapped an arm around Rumil’s shoulder and pulled him along.

 

The moment Haldir and Rumil had left, Celeborn sought out Camfael’s eyes. “I do not know what happened to cause him to miscarry, but I will find out.”

 

“I can spare you the effort,” said Camfael in an angry tone. “Your men forced Erestor to heal one of their wounded. They threatened him. When I came upon him there was a knife against his throat.”

 

Celeborn hung his head in shame. “I will discipline the ones responsible for this.”

 

“You can do that later. Now I need your assistance and expertise. I am afraid Erestor knows he lost them and is yearning to be admitted to the Great Halls of Waiting. I need your strength to pull him back if necessary.”

 

“I will do what I can,” promised Celeborn. “No one should have to bury their babies.” His heart ached in pain at the mere thought. After this surgery was over he would talk to Galadriel. They had to decide whether to tell Elrond or not.

 

TBC

 

Beta read by Sulien.

All remaining mistakes are mine.

 

Heart in Chains.

Part 10.

 

 

“’Tis is my fault,” said Rumil, feeling miserable and guilty. Haldir had taken him back to their talan and had then sat him down on his bed. Rumil wrung his hands and bowed his head in shame. “My fault.”

 

Haldir, at a loss to what was wrong with his younger brother, seated himself next to Rumil. Wrapping an arm around his distressed brother’s shoulder, he asked, “What is?”

 

“That Erestor lost his children.” Rumil suddenly looked Haldir in the eyes, pleading with him. “I did not know! I truly did not know he was carrying Elrond’s children! If I had known I would never have dragged him along!”

 

“Dragged him to Telu?” Slowly, Rumil’s raving and distress were beginning to make sense to Haldir.

 

“Aye! Erestor healed Orophin and I thought he could heal Telu as well! I never waited for him to say yes! I simply dragged him along and then everything went wrong!”

 

Haldir listened patiently to his brother’s raving, realizing Rumil needed to get this off his chest. “Go on.”

 

“Seregon took charge, and put his dagger against Erestor’s throat. Erestor never had a choice! Aiya, Muindor-nîn, Erestor lost his children! Did you know that—“

 

Haldir squeezed Rumil’s shoulder reassuringly. “Nay, I did not.”

 

“If only he had confided in us! Haldir, why did he not tell us? Did he not trust us? I know we were not kind to him in the past, but… I thought he was beginning to realize we meant well!” Tears gathered in his eyes and he wiped his nose with his sleeve. “I never wanted to endanger Erestor. I did not know! Did not know!”

 

Haldir now resorted to rocking his younger brother and was reminded of a time when Rumil had been an Elfling. He had consoled Rumil back then as well, when his brother had missed his parents. “It was not your fault, Rumil. Seregon is to blame. It was not your fault.”

 

“But he lost them!” Rumil raised his right hand, which had turned into a fist and slammed it into his older brother’s chest.

 

Haldir barely felt the blow, and tightened his hold, rocking Rumil harder. “I am sorry this happened, but you are not to blame. We have to put our trust in Celeborn and Camfael, and hope that Erestor will find the strength and willpower to return to us.”

 

“What will this do to him, Haldir?” Rumil raised his swimming eyes and pleadingly stared at his brother. “It took him so long to start coming out of his shell and he was just beginning to trust us. Will we really lose him now?”

 

“I do not know, Rumil,” said Haldir honestly. “All we can do is pray to the Valar for Erestor’s survival… and then we wait.”

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

Orophin was restless and glad his watch was over. His instincts told him to hurry and he quickly arrived at the talan which he shared with his brothers. Stepping into the bedroom, he found Haldir and Rumil on the bed. Haldir had protectively curled himself around their brother, whose eyes were still red from crying. “What happened here?” At a loss, he sat down on the side of the bed.

 

The movement woke Haldir, who quickly grew aware of his brother’s agitation. It came as no surprise that Orophin had picked up on Rumil’s distress. The three of them had always been close.

 

“Why is Rumil upset?”

 

Whispering softly so as not to wake Rumil, Haldir told Orophin what had occurred. In his younger brother’s eyes, Haldir detected a strong sense of loss. “Erestor told no one. Rumil did not know that he was pregnant and now he blames himself.”

 

“This is sad news indeed,” whispered Orophin, distressed. “It is just like Rumil to blame himself for something he had no control over. Has there been any news on Erestor’s condition yet?”

 

“Nay, I will ask Camfael in the morning. There is nothing we can do at any rate.” Haldir’s heart ached for Erestor, but he was realistic enough to know he couldn’t help the dark-haired Elf. What Erestor needed was an experienced and determined healer. “Come, join us. Rumil needs us close.”

 

Orophin removed his weapons and cloak and then lay down in front of Rumil, embracing his brother. “I feel sad for Erestor.”

 

“I share your sadness,” said Haldir softly. Rumil groaned in his sleep, and Haldir soothingly stroked his younger brother’s hair. “If only we had known. Even Celeborn did not seem to know. He was shocked when Camfael told him.”

 

Sudden anger overwhelmed Orophin. “This is Galadriel and Celeborn’s fault to begin with! They ordered Erestor to bind himself to Elrond without the half-Elf knowing about it! And then they ordered Erestor to return to Lothlorien *after* he bonded with Elrond. Erestor should be in Imladris with Elrond, and not here! Maybe Elrond could have kept Erestor safe.”

 

Haldir nodded. “I cannot help but wonder what Erestor’s plans for the twins were. Did he hope to give birth to them without anyone knowing about it and then have them smuggled to Imladris?” What role did Camfael play in this?

 

“It is possible, aye. Had he asked me, I would have taken the twins to Imladris to be with their other parent.” Orophin found it hard to accept such a tragedy had happened during his absence.

 

“I wonder if Galadriel and Celeborn plan to tell Elrond he lost two sons.” Haldir was frustrated. He felt Elrond should know, but at the same time, this knowledge would cause the recovering half-Elf even more pain.

 

“I doubt it,” said Orophin. “Why would they?” Feeling sad and angry at the same time, he wished he could protect Erestor from the Lord and Lady’s scheming, but they were mere sentries.

 

As if reading Orophin’s thoughts, Haldir said, “We will do the best we can. We will be there for Erestor… if he survives… and I pray to Elbereth that he does!”

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

Celeborn covered Erestor’s icy body with several warm blankets and then stood back, studying the dark-haired Elf’s sunken features. Erestor had literally been drained of his life force when healing Telu and the healer’s inner light was barely strong enough to keep him alive. Celeborn had tried to lend Erestor his strength -- but the bond which Erestor had formed with Elrond had prevented that -- not letting the raven-haired Elf form a temporary healing bond with the Lord of the Golden Wood.

 

Camfael soundlessly entered the room, not wanting to disturb Celeborn’s musings. Performing surgery had taken them many hours. They had removed the fetuses, which had caused severe blood loss. Several times during surgery he had feared losing Erestor, but the dark-haired Elf had somehow survived. Erestor was now scarred for life; an ugly scar on his abdomen would always remind him of his miscarriage.

 

“I beg your forgiveness for interrupting your thoughts,” began Camfael, bowing respectfully, knowing quite well that without Celeborn’s knowledge and expertise Erestor would have died hours ago. “But I need to know what to do with the…dead children.” At eight months, almost nine, the fetuses had easily been identified as males. Erestor had lost two sons.

 

Fatigued and feeling lost, Celeborn looked at the healer. “What do you advise?”

 

Camfael moistened his lips. “Providing Erestor survives, having a place where he can go to mourn his sons’ deaths will help him recover. Maybe a small tomb in a more secluded section of the Golden Wood?” He hoped Celeborn would follow his advice. The twins deserved a worthy resting place.

 

“Aye,” said Celeborn, nodding his head. “I will see to it.” Slowly, feeling ancient and exhausted, he got to his feet. “I need to speak with my Lady now, but I will visit with Erestor tomorrow.”

 

“If he is still alive then.” When Celeborn flinched, Camfael felt oddly satisfied. “If you know the father’s identity I strongly urge you to tell him what happened. He should be at Erestor’s side, supporting him. Erestor should not have to do this on his own.”

 

Celeborn’s shoulders slumped. “I will consider it.” Placing the palm of his hand on Erestor’s brow, he frowned, finding how cold the Elf’s skin was. “Take good care of him.”

 

“I will.” Camfael watched Celeborn leave and thought he saw defeat in the Elf’s slumped shoulders. He pulled up a chair and sat down next to the bed, gathering Erestor’s hand in his. For the first time in his life he wished he possessed Erestor’s natural healing talents, for then he could truly have aided his charge. All he could do now was wait.

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

Galadriel was not pleased when Celeborn unexpectedly entered her private rooms. Several of her ladies were with her and she glared at her husband. She had told him on several occasions that she needed these private moments of mindless chatter. They stopped her thoughts from racing and allowed them to slow down. Forcing herself to act politely, she greeted him and dismissed her ladies.

 

“We need to talk.” Celeborn sensed her frustration and realized this conversation was already off to a bad start.

 

“What about?” Reluctantly she rose from the sofa and joined him, as he was staring out of the window at the ancient mallorn trees.

 

“Erestor.”

 

Sensing her husband’s emotional turmoil she realized she had to tread carefully. “Why do we need to discuss him?”

 

“He suffered a miscarriage and lost Elrond’s sons.” Celeborn looked at her, wondering if she had known.

 

She raised an eyebrow but didn’t show any emotion at learning this. “Then it was the will of the Valar and it was right that we did not know this would happen.”

 

Celeborn stared at her in disbelief. “How can you be so… calm?” /Cold?/ “Distant? Like this does not touch you.”

 

“It does not matter to me that he had a miscarriage. Erestor served his purpose when he bonded with Elrond.”

 

“Is that your only concern?” Celeborn understood her reasoning at once. “You want Erestor alive so he can sustain Elrond, but his personal welfare does not concern you?”

 

“He is a murderer, Celeborn. When did you start to worry for a kinslayer?”

 

The hair at the back of his neck grew rigid hearing her voice, which was bereft of emotion. He shuddered and averted his eyes, unable to hold her gaze any longer. She turned around and left the room. Celeborn actually felt relieved that she had left and collapsed onto a chair. He didn’t want to admit this, but at times Galadriel scared him. Something would happen to remind him of the fact that she was related to Feanor. Blood as cold and cunning as his flowed through her veins. These were the moments when he wondered where that noble woman was who he had fallen in love with.

 

He loved her, truly loved her, but she also frightened him. The question was, did he love her enough to support her decisions and stay with her?

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

The next morning found Camfael still holding his vigil at Erestor’s bed. During the night his patient hadn’t stirred, and although he had tried to make Erestor drink some water, the dark-haired Elf had proven uncooperative. He was beginning to realize that losing Erestor to Mandos was quickly becoming a reality.

 

After rising from his chair, he stretched and called for some refreshments. Sitting on his heels next to Erestor’s bed, he probed his patient’s empty gaze. Throughout many centuries he had gathered much knowledge and he suspected that Erestor was conscious, but just not reacting. The raven-haired Elf had no reason to acknowledge him, as Erestor was probably still pining for the Great Halls of Waiting. “Please come back to me, Erestor. It is not your time yet, I know that. Your role on Middle-Earth has not yet been fulfilled.” But Erestor didn’t react.

 

Camfael lovingly stroked Erestor’s clammy hair. “I know you can hear me. You are just too stubborn to react.” Drawing in a deep breath, he made one final attempt. “My son long reached his majority and married a lovely maiden, leaving me alone. Since you began to study here I found I enjoy your company and I looked forward to your visits. Please do not leave me alone again.”

 

Erestor moaned softly, but did not react verbally.

 

“I need to eat something and inform our Lord of your condition, but I promise to be back within the hour.” Erestor merely stared at the wall, worrying Camfael further. “We do not want to lose you.”

 

But it appeared Erestor had already made up his mind and refused to return to them.

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

Haldir had been waiting for Camfael in the corridor and when the healer finally emerged, he bombarded him with questions. “I assume Erestor is still alive? Is he already awake? Talking? Does he know he lost the twins? Is there anything I can do to help? How—“

 

Camfael stopped Haldir by raising a hand. “Too many questions… Why do you not go inside and visit with him?” He hoped that Haldir’s presence would bring Erestor back from whatever lonely place his mind was hiding in. “He might not respond to you, but do not give up.”

 

Haldir swallowed hard. “He has withdrawn into himself?”

 

“Aye.” Camfael nodded once. “Would you stay with him until I return? I need to eat, rest, and change into clean clothes.” He hadn’t had any rest since they had performed surgery on Erestor.

 

“I will stay with him. There is no need for you to hurry.” Haldir -- growing nervous now that he was about to face Erestor -- shuffled into the room.

 

Camfael closed the door behind the sentry, hoping Haldir would get through to Erestor.

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

Haldir’s heart contracted with emotion, seeing the despair in Erestor’s eyes. “Oh, meldir!” He hurried over to the dark-haired Elf’s side and sat down on the chair Camfael’s had vacated earlier.

 

“I wish you had told us that you were pregnant. I understand why you did not do it, why you thought you had to do this on your own, but I wish things had gone differently.” Sliding closer on his chair, he gently stroked Erestor’s hair. “You saved Orophin from certain death and you have grown precious to us in these last nine months. I wish you would not turn your back on us when we offer you our help.”

 

Holding his breath, he saw the despair in Erestor’s eyes shatter and tears appeared instead. He only now grew aware of the fact that Erestor was hugging his waist and one hand was rubbing his stomach, as if trying to convince himself that he hadn’t lost his children.

 

“Ai, my heart aches for you.” Overwhelmed with emotion, Haldir moved onto the bed, lying down in front of Erestor and slowly wrapping his arms around him. He waited apprehensively, uncertain Erestor would accept the offered comfort. “I cannot imagine the loss you feel, but please accept what I am offering.”

 

For one long, seemingly endless moment nothing happened. Then Erestor began to sob against him.

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

The dam broke and Erestor released the flood of despair, fear, anger and utter sadness which he felt. He had tried to shut them out. Locking out Camfael had been hard, but he had managed. However, now that Haldir was holding him – comforting him – he couldn’t continue to ignore him.

 

Sobbing hard in Haldir’s arms, he pressed his cold body against the sentry’s warmth. Unable to stop himself, he wrapped his arms around Haldir, squeezing as hard as he could – which wasn’t hard at all, as he was still weak from surgery.

 

Why did Haldir have to come to him? He wanted to fade, to finally enter the Great Halls of Waiting. Now that he had lost his babies, he felt lost and alone. When he had first felt his flat stomach he had thought he would die that instant, but Mandos didn’t want him, forcing him to continue to dwell on Arda.

 

Haldir soothingly caressed his hair and the Galadhrim continued to mumble soft reassurances.

 

“D-don’t… P-please don’t-t…” He didn’t want to hear Haldir calling him a friend and offering him comfort. He wanted to leave Arda, but how could his fëa flee when Haldir was doing his best to make him stay? “Let-t… m-me… goooo…”

 

“I am sorry, but I cannot do that.” Haldir rubbed Erestor’s cold and shaking back, trying to convince the hurting Elf that he cared. “I had to forbid Rumil and Orophin to come along, knowing their presence would overwhelm you, but they suffer with you. You are not alone.”

 

Erestor closed his eyes, but tears still slipped from beneath his eyelids. “How-w c-can I… go oooo-nn… with…out… them-m?” How could he find his way back, when a sea of loneliness was pulling him under? He felt like he couldn’t breathe, like he was choking, when in truth he was sobbing himself to pieces.

 

“Oh, meldir, hold onto me and allow me to be your strength. If you were not bound to Elrond Half-Elven I would bind myself to you so you could draw from my life energy. My brothers and I greatly care for you and we want to see you healed. I know it will take a lifetime for you to heal, but time heals all wounds.”

 

“N-ot-t… m-mine…”

 

“Even yours, no matter how terrible your wound is.” Haldir felt slightly relieved now that Erestor was talking to him. “I am so sorry you lost your sons. I am sure they would have been valiant warriors one day… or gifted healers.”

 

Haldir’s words caused Erestor to cry harder, forcing him to release the pain that he was holding inside. He had clung to it in the hope that it would make him fade. “S-ons-s…” His instincts had been right then. He had been carrying sons. Sons, whom he would never hold, cuddle and watch grow up. “Why? W-why?”

 

“Life is not fair,” said Haldir eventually. “I do not know why. I wish I had a better answer for you.” Rocking Erestor, much like he had rocked Rumil earlier, he began to sing the same lullaby Celeborn had sung when he and his brothers had been children. It had soothed him and his brothers back then and he hoped it would soothe Erestor now.

 

Erestor shook like a leaf, recognizing that lullaby; it was the one Elwing used to sing when putting Elrond and Elros to sleep. /Elrond, I tried to keep our babies alive, but I failed. I should have been stronger, should have told Seregon ‘no’, but I am a coward. I hoped I could divide my strength and keep them alive as well./ He prayed to Nienna, begging the mighty Vala to keep this from Elrond until the end of Arda. /Please, Elrond can never find out that I killed our babies. I should have been stronger, should have refused, should have…/

 

“Shst, try to rest. Try to sleep. You are exhausted – mentally and physically. This is not the time to talk about this. And please, Erestor, do not blame yourself for this.” Haldir raised Erestor’s face until their eyes met, recalling Rumil blaming himself as well. “Seregon – the fool – is to blame, never you. You wanted what was best for your babies.”

 

But Erestor couldn’t – wouldn’t – believe Haldir. He knew he had been weak and that he was guilty of losing their sons. He would make himself pay for his cowardice for the rest of his life.

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

When Camfael returned several hours later, he found Erestor fast asleep, with Haldir protectively curled around him. He instantly noticed Erestor’s red eyes and felt relieved, realizing his charge had let go of some of his emotions. Maybe there was still hope then. Maybe they could reclaim Erestor.

 

“How does he fare?” He spoke softly, unwilling to wake Erestor from what appeared to be the first stage of a healing sleep. He placed the tray, filled with herbal tea and bread on the side table and then seated himself. Hopefully Erestor would be able to eat and drink something later.

 

“He opened up to me and sobbed in my arms. He is so fragile that I fear for him.” Haldir never wanted to let go of Erestor, but his watch began at sunset. /Maybe Orophin can sit with Erestor until I return./ He didn’t want to ask Rumil, who was emotionally unbalanced as well. But then again, they couldn’t leave Rumil alone either. Sighing, he realized this was more complicated than he had originally thought.

 

“I will watch over him now,” said Camfael, “but you may visit with him whenever you want. I hope to see you frequently, for your presence seems to be helping Erestor recover.”

 

“I will be here as often as I can. May I hold him a little longer? I have to leave within the hour at any rate.” Haldir continued to rub Erestor’s back, trying to create some warmth, and his charge moved closer in his arms, apparently savoring the sensation. /Elrond should be here comforting you, not I./ He had entertained the idea of sending Elrond a message, but his loyalty to his Lord and Lady kept him from executing his plan. He couldn’t go behind their backs.

 

“The one who fathered his children should be offering him his support.” Camfael’s eyes narrowed. “Do you know who sired the twins?”

 

Feeling cornered, Haldir averted his eyes. “I do, but I am not allowed to tell you. I have been sworn to secrecy by our Lady.”

 

Camfael hated them for their secrecy. “Celeborn refused to tell me as well. I do not understand why. Having his mate here would greatly aid Erestor’s recovery. The fact that he regained consciousness for a short while does not mean he will recover. First, he has to accept the twins’ death and then he has to go through a long and extensive mourning process. He will need all the support he can get.”

 

Before asking his next question, Haldir made sure Erestor was still sound asleep. “What did Celeborn order to be done with their… little bodies?”

 

“I advised our Lord to have a small tomb constructed, which will hold their remains. Erestor will need to say goodbye and having a place to go to mourn will help.”

 

Haldir sighed. “I agree. And will Celeborn follow your advice?”

 

“I think so. He was fairly shaken when he realized what had happened. I have seldom seen him so sad as when he assisted me during surgery. Celeborn is a father himself and the thought of losing Celebrian fills him with terror as well. That reminds me,” said Camfael softly, “Celeborn will visit with Erestor shortly. He has also requested to be regularly informed on Erestor’s condition. Erestor might find a protector in Celeborn after all.”

 

“Celeborn is a just and wise ruler.” He didn’t want to say aloud that Galadriel at times intimidated him. There was something ruthless about her that warned him to never cross her.

 

“Aye, he is.”

 

Haldir, seeing Arien’s descent in the sky, knew it was time to leave Erestor and go join his men. He regretted having to untangle himself from Erestor, as he would have loved to hold him as long as Erestor needed him. “I know you will take good care of him.”

 

“I will,” promised Camfael.

 

Erestor moaned his protest when Haldir left the bed and he shivered violently, growing cold again. Haldir tucked the blankets around Erestor’s shivering form, feeling guilty for leaving the dark-haired Elf in this way. “I will hurry back to you,” he promised in a soft voice.

 

But Erestor didn’t hear him and whimpered softly. He pulled his knees up to his chest, wrapped his arms around them and remained in that fetal position.

 

Haldir and Camfael exchanged a worried look. “You had better keep that promise,” said the healer eventually. “Right now, you are the only thing holding him here on Arda with us.”

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

Celeborn cleared his throat when he entered Erestor’s room, not wanting to startle the injured Elf. But when he approached the bed, he realized that Erestor was unresponsive and blindly staring at the wall. Next to the bed sat Camfael, who now placed a cup of tea on the nightstand.

 

“Camfael?” Celeborn came to a stand still in front of the bed and made eye contact with his chief healer.

 

“He is aware of our presence, but not inclined to communicate with us.” Camfael rose from his chair and signaled for Celeborn to follow him into a corner of the room. Erestor wasn’t interested in what they were saying and would not eavesdrop, but he didn’t want to disturb his charge with their conversation. “Erestor refuses to drink and eat, and he won’t talk to me. The one time he showed some emotion was when Haldir was here.”

 

“Haldir?” Celeborn frowned.

 

“But he had to leave for his watch. My Lord, if it is possible please relieve Haldir from his duties for a short while. If you want to keep Erestor alive, having Haldir close would help.”

 

“I will arrange for it.” Celeborn decided not to tell Camfael about his wife’s reaction to the news and asked instead, “Is there anything else I can do to help?”

 

“Aye, there is.” Before he continued, Camfael lowered his voice. “The twins…”

 

“The other healers are wrapping them up in the softest fabric they can find and I already ordered for the construction of the tomb to start. We can respectfully put them to rest in two days.”

 

Camfael’s eyes filled with pity for Erestor. “I doubt he will be able to attend.”

 

“I understand. I will take his place then and put the little ones to rest.”

 

Camfael heard the sorrow and regret in the older Elf’s voice. “There is one other thing you can do for Erestor.”

 

Celeborn waited patiently.

 

“Erestor needs his mate close. Working through the loss of his children will be an impossible task for him if he has to do it alone.”

 

“I wish I could tell their father, but I cannot,” whispered Celeborn, who was regretting his past decisions. He should never have agreed to Galadriel’s plan to save Elrond. The price that Erestor was paying was much too high. Seeing Camfael’s disapproving expression he tried to explain. “The twins’ father is in a bad way as well. Although he is recovering from a traumatic event, he does not yet have the strength to support Erestor. It is up to us to pull him through.”

 

Camfael realized Celeborn wouldn’t tell him the father’s identity and knew when to stop pressuring someone. A knock on the door supplied him with the necessary distraction. “Enter!”

 

Rumil and Orophin hesitantly shuffled into the room. Rumil had bathed, changed his clothes and felt slightly more in control of his emotions, but when he saw Erestor’s rumpled form, a lump of emotions formed in his throat. /I did not want this to happen. I am so sorry./

 

Orophin, sensing that Rumil was slipping back into his guilt, quickly squeezed his brother’s shoulder. “We wondered if Erestor was up to receiving visitors. We will be quiet. We merely wish to sit with him.”

 

Recalling the healing influence Haldir had had on Erestor, Camfael nodded his approval. “You may sit with him. Try to make him eat and drink something.”

 

Rumil and Orophin made their way over to Erestor’s bed. One of them sat down on the side of the bed, whilst the other now occupied the chair. They would sit with Erestor until Haldir returned; making sure Erestor was never alone.

 

Celeborn watched them. Galadriel and he had raised Haldir, Rumil and Orophin as if they were their own children and he greatly loved them. /I do not know how I would have reacted, had we lost them. Oh, Erestor, I wronged you./

 

Celeborn was determined to make amends to the hurting Elf. /We won’t give up on you./

 

TBC


	2. Chapter 2

Heart in Chains.

Part 11.

 

“Please, Erestor, drink some water. You need the fluids.” Haldir was growing desperate now that the dark-haired Elf was shutting him out again.

 

When the word had reached him that Celeborn wanted him to return to Erestor’s side, he had acted at once. After handing over control to his second in command, he had hurried back. Upon his arrival, he found that his brothers were keeping a vigil at Erestor’s bed, and both Elves had been distressed because Erestor continued to lock them out. The grieving Elf still refused water and nourishment.

 

During these last thirty-six hours, Camfael, Celeborn, Rumil, Orophin and Haldir had tried to convince Erestor to drink some water, but to no avail. Haldir was now afraid that Erestor would fade after all, and doubled his efforts to force the grieving healer to stay with them.

 

Haldir had slipped between the covers, warming Erestor’s still icy body with his own. His fingers tangled in the long, raven hair and his other hand reassuringly rubbed Erestor’s back. “You have to be strong, meldir. You cannot give in to despair. You are a fighter and will survive.”

 

He had been talking to Erestor for hours. His throat felt raw and he sounded hoarse, but Erestor still didn’t react. “I am sorry that I left you alone, but I had to lead my men into the woods. The moment Lord Celeborn gave his permission, I hurried back to you. I know you feel hurt and maybe even betrayed because I left, but I am back now and I will stay at your side as long as you need me.” He rocked Erestor slowly in his arms, trying to make the dark-haired Elf feel cherished and cared for.

 

When Camfael and Celeborn entered, Haldir sought out their eyes. First he studied Camfael’s and he then locked gazes with Celeborn, who looked troubled. Neither Elf had had had much sleep and dark circles were beginning to show beneath their eyes. He had to give credit where credit was due. Celeborn was doing his best to make amends and was making sure the twins’ tiny bodies were treated with the utmost respect. Then, he remembered. Their bodies would be laid to rest today.

 

He had told Erestor that today was the day of their burial, but so far the raven-haired Elf hadn’t reacted to this news. Haldir wasn’t even sure Erestor had fully understood what he had been saying.

 

“Try again,” said Celeborn softly. “Maybe he wants to attend after all.” In his heart he grieved for the twins’ deaths as well. Even if Erestor had killed Rhoss – which he now doubted – the dark-haired Elf had paid that debt in full. As far as he was concerned, there was no more reason to punish Erestor. Although Galadriel didn’t agree with him, he was determined to treat Erestor respectfully from this moment on.

 

Haldir drew in a deep breath and in his softest voice he asked, “Meldir? Do you want to attend the funeral? I know you are still weak and hurting immensely, but maybe attending the ceremony will give you a sense of closure.” He involuntarily held his breath, feeling Erestor stir against him. The other Elf had heard him, then. “Do you want to attend? We will accompany you. You do not have to do this alone.”

 

Erestor’s eyelids fluttered, and his large, chocolate eyes fastened on Haldir. He had heard every word the silver-haired sentry had said, but he hadn’t known what his answer would be until now. Hesitantly, he nodded his head once. “W-want… t-to…”

 

Haldir released the breath he had been holding. “I won’t leave your side, mellon. I will be there for you.”

 

Celeborn exchanged a worried glance with Haldir and then nodded. “We will leave within the hour. Make sure he is wrapped up in warm blankets.”

 

Erestor’s empty gaze shifted from Haldir’s face to Celeborn’s. “Thank-k… you…” Celeborn didn’t have to do this and he was greatly indebted to the Lord of the Wood.

 

“I will wait for you outside.” Celeborn felt like he was suffocating, looking into Erestor’s empty eyes. The dark-haired Elf appeared to have finally run out of tears. He quickly fled from the room and inhaled deeply once he was out in the open. /Elbereth, what did we do? How can I ever make amends to him?/ Making sure that the twins’ remains were put to rest with all the respect they deserved was a start.

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

Haldir’s worries increased when Erestor nearly fainted in his arms. He had dressed the skinny Elf in warm robes, wrapping thick blankets around his shaky form and yet Erestor remained cold to the touch. Then he had tried to help Erestor onto his feet, but the grieving Elf had swayed dangerously. In the end, Haldir had gently lifted him in his arms. Catching Camfael’s gaze, he whispered, “I will be extremely careful so his wound won’t reopen.”

 

The healer had expressed his displeasure earlier at finding the wound growing infected and now constantly fussed over Erestor. Camfael nodded, staying close to Haldir and Erestor. He made sure the blankets remained in place when the silver-haired sentry carried Erestor down the talan.

 

Haldir appreciated the fact that Celeborn had ensured that no Elves were about to stare at Erestor in his hour of grief. Cradling his charge close to his chest, he joined his brothers and Celeborn, who were waiting for them. He swallowed hard, seeing Celeborn carry a small silk bundle. /The babies are wrapped up in that fabric./

 

In his arms, Erestor twitched, as he too had caught sight of the bundle. During these last long hours, Erestor had wondered whether he should ask Celeborn to let him see his sons, but in the end he had decided against it. The sight of them –dead- would haunt him for the rest of his life. He wasn’t ready for that. He buried his right hand in Haldir’s tunic and his other in the sentry’s hair. Without Haldir he wouldn’t have survived. The sentry kept him sane.

 

/Sane? Am I still sane? The things that happened to me… All I want is to lie down, close my eyes and stop existing./ His fingers twitched and curled around the silken strands of Haldir’s hair. He clung to the warrior when they made their way to the secluded section of the wood where Celeborn had erected a small tomb. His head lolled against Haldir’s chest and he was using his last strength to remain conscious until the ceremony had been completed.

 

Celeborn stopped in his tracks, reaching the small, white marble tomb that stood beneath an ancient mallorn tree. Before erecting the tomb, he had conversed with the ancient tree, which had assured him that it would guard the twins’ last resting place.

 

“Erestor? We have arrived.” Haldir flinched, when Erestor’s eyes filled with tears once more.

 

“P-put… me on-n… my… f-feet…” Erestor struggled weakly in Haldir’s arms, wanting to be put down. His gaze settled on the somberly decorated tomb. In height it reached Celeborn’s waist and a beautiful carving adorned it, depicting Nienna, who was weeping bitter tears. “Thank-k… you,” he whispered, addressing Celeborn in a shaky voice.

 

Haldir carefully put Erestor on his feet, but kept both arms tightly locked around his charge’s waist. He couldn’t take the risk of Erestor taking a fall. If the wound reopened, Erestor would lose even more blood.

 

“Would you like to hold them before we put them to rest?” Celeborn had never felt so guilty or ashamed of himself in all of his millennia long existence. His actions had caused the twins’ deaths, and thus Erestor’s loss.

 

Erestor’s large, dark, swimming eyes met Celeborn’s and he slowly opened his arms. His emotions made it impossible for him to speak and he hoped the Lord of the Golden Wood understood. And again, he wondered; should he look upon them? But no, he was not strong enough for that.

 

Seeing Erestor sway on his feet, Celeborn came to a standstill at the raven-haired Elf’s side and then placed the small bundle against the dark-haired Elf’s chest. He supported Erestor’s arms when they didn’t seem strong enough to hold the twins’ remains.

 

“I… I am-m s-sor… ry…” whispered Erestor in a stricken tone. “L-loved you…” He pressed them gently against his chest, sobbing heartbrokenly.

 

Haldir’s eyes now also released fat tears, sensing Erestor’s loss almost as if it were his own. And when he looked at Celeborn, he found that even the Lord of the Golden Wood was weeping openly.

 

They stood in silence, allowing Erestor to say his private goodbyes to the little ones, which he had carried for nearly nine months.

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

Erestor felt numb when Celeborn reached for his sons. Briefly he considered putting up a struggle as he didn’t want to part with them yet, but the little sanity he had left stopped him.

 

Celeborn gathered the bundle in his arms again and wished he had the power to turn back time and change his past decisions. “Erestor…”

 

Erestor, leaning heavily against Haldir, nodded shakily. The twins should be put to rest.

 

Celeborn carefully placed the bundle inside the marble tomb. Before sealing the tomb, he looked into Erestor’s swimming eyes and felt the need to offer some sort of comfort. But words seemed hollow and hypocritical. What could he possibly say that would soothe Erestor? His voice was soft and caring when he took a step away from the tomb, and gathered one of Erestor’s trembling hands in his.

 

“Nienna, Mistress of Sorrow,

who grieves and knows our pain, 

Listen to our plea in this hour of our loss and sadness.

 

A very part of life itself has died  
with these two children.  
Our souls are weighed down with sorrow  
and Erestor bears the wound of a lifelong scar.  
Comfort him for his pain is heavy and deep.

 

Nienna, Mistress of Sorrow,

you know our pain at the loss of these children  
who have been taken away from us.

We would have held them in the embrace of love,

protected and loved them, but it was not meant to be.

Nienna, wrap them in your gentle love  
as we attempt to carry this bitter burden.

 

May you, Mistress of Sorrow and Pain,  
hold them close to your heart forever.”

 

Celeborn’s usually melodic voice shattered, speaking that last word. It wasn’t clear whether he had finished or simply lacked the strength to carry on and silence descended heavily upon them.

 

And so did cold rain. The sky opened and the dark clouds wept tears of their own. Had Nienna heard their plea and was this her way of showing her grief? Haldir wasn’t sure, but he did know that he had to get Erestor out of the rain. In his current weakened condition, developing complications would endanger the Elf’s recovery. “Erestor? I need to take you back inside where it is warm.”

 

Erestor barely heard Haldir. Celeborn’s words whispered through his mind. Heal… He didn’t want to heal. He didn’t want Nienna’s comfort. He needed to feel his pain, the eternal guilt of knowing he had killed his babies. He should have been stronger, should have told Seregon no, but he hadn’t.

 

Shaking like a leaf, he rested his head against Haldir’s shoulder. His gaze was still fastened on the tomb that now held the remains of his sons. /I wanted to hold them… Rock them… Sing to them./ But his arms were empty and his sons’ remains were nestled inside a cold, marble tomb instead. Unable to bear this immense loss, he fainted in Haldir’s arms.

 

The silver-haired Elf had expected as much and already had a tight hold on his charge. He carefully lifted Erestor in his arms and nodded, thankfully, seeing Rumil was covering Erestor with a blanket. “We need to leave… Now.”

 

They hurried through the woods, back to the healers’ talan and when they finally stepped inside Erestor’s rooms, Haldir and Camfael quickly removed Erestor’s soaked robes. Rumil fed more wood to the weakening fire and Orophin hurried toward the kitchens to acquire warm, herbal tea.

 

Celeborn remained standing in the doorway, shuffling his feet. He felt redundant, but didn’t want to leave. He hoped he could help in some way.

 

Camfael and Haldir rubbed Erestor’s skin until it was dry and then placed him in the center of the bed, quickly covering him with blankets. Haldir startled, seeing Erestor’s eyes had closed. “Camfael?”

 

“Erestor might still fade. I honestly do not know if his fëa will stay or depart.”

 

“I thought we had won this battle,” said Haldir in a distressed tone.

 

Celeborn flinched. “Haldir, this battle has only just begun.”

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

They took turns sitting with Erestor, occasionally forcing the smallest amounts of water down the Elf’s throat.

 

It was Celeborn’s turn now to sit with their charge and within minutes he found himself gently stroking Erestor’s brow. /I regret not opposing Galadriel. If I had, you would not be in this predicament./ After dipping his fingers in a glass of water, he rubbed them against Erestor’s lips. A few droplets of the precious moisture made it past his charge’s lips and Celeborn sighed dejectedly.

 

It was becoming clear that Erestor had cut himself off from the outside world. The dark-haired Elf had buried himself inside his mind after the funeral and now refused to return to them. He had seen this happen once before and it had taken the Elf who had slipped under a thousand years to return to them.

 

“I understand you are grieving, but this is not the right way. By shutting us out, you are making everything worse. Let us comfort you.”

 

But Erestor ignored him and Celeborn’s heart grew heavy with foreboding. How many years would it take Erestor to find his way back to them? That was provided Erestor would return to them eventually. The raven-haired Elf could stay in this state until the end of Arda.

 

“By the Grace of the Valar, what shall I do?” It would have been more appropriate to ask what *could* he do?

 

“Nothing, now,” whispered his guilty conscience.

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

Haldir lost the little hope he’d had, realizing Erestor was lost to them. The normally expressive eyes remained closed, the dark-haired Elf’s body motionless and Haldir reckoned that Erestor only stayed alive because of his bond with Elrond. He had no idea what was going on in Erestor’s head; why the Elf had chosen to stay in this catatonic state, but after several moons had waxed and waned, he realized that he didn’t have the power to change anything. Erestor remained unreachable and only the few droplets that occasionally made it past his lips kept him alive.

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

Months became years and years changed into decades. Centuries passed by and turned into two millennia and yet Erestor remained lost to them.

 

Haldir still visited with Erestor and so did his brothers. They would sit with him, touch him, caress his hair and try to bring him out of his vegetative state, but Erestor never reacted to their presence. The dark-haired Elf had become skeleton-like. His bones stuck out of his skin; his features were sunken and his body seemed frozen in time.

 

Camfael had taken it upon himself to put Erestor through a daily regime of physical exercises and often the other healers had seen him wipe away his tears when leaving Erestor’s room.

 

Celeborn tried to reason with Galadriel, but she no longer had an interest in Erestor. All that mattered to her was that Erestor remained alive and aided Elrond.

 

Elrond… Haldir had seen the half-Elf when Elrond had visited Lothlorien. He had seen the charmed expression when Galadriel had introduced Celebrian to the Peredhel and he had seen his wife’s scheming in order to bring Elrond and Celebrian together. He had grown very worried, and had even opposed his wife, but Galadriel had not given in and before he knew what was happening, Elrond and Celebrian were engaged and soon to be married. When their engagement had been announced, Celeborn and Haldir had retired to Erestor’s room to sit with the unconscious Elf in a silent protest.

 

“My Lord, ‘tis not right. Elrond and Erestor belong together.” Throughout the last millennia Haldir had learned that Celeborn often disagreed with his wife, but the Lord of the Golden Wood was hesitant to openly protest Galadriel’s decisions.

 

“You are right,” said Celeborn, sighing heavily. Erestor was tucked away beneath a warm blanket and could have passed for a corpse, had he not known better. “I have made mistake upon mistake. My first mistake was to agree to Erestor binding himself to Elrond in that way. The bond should have been mutual and Erestor should have been Elrond’s rightful mate.”

 

Haldir, who was rubbing Erestor’s boney fingers, swallowed hard.

 

“And when he suffered that miscarriage, I should have contacted Elrond to tell him. But I made another mistake and kept this from the Peredhel, condemning Erestor to this half-life.” Celeborn blamed himself for Erestor’s terrible fate. “And now it is too late to tell Elrond the truth. They are to be wed tomorrow.”

 

Haldir gently squeezed Erestor’s hand. Even after two thousand years, he still hoped to provoke some sort of reaction on Erestor’s part. “’Tis not fair,” he said, and was reminded of words he had spoken after Erestor had lost the twins. “Look at him.”

 

Celeborn did and nearly choked on the fierce emotions running through him. “There are times when I wish that Mandos would take pity on him and call him to the Great Halls of Waiting.”

 

“But Galadriel would not like that.”

 

Celeborn met Haldir’s gaze. “Elrond Half-Elven is strong again. He dealt with the loss of his lover and his twin, and found new love with Celebrian. I saw them together. Galadriel’s scheming might have brought this about, but at least there is love involved. Elrond and Celebrian are happy.”

 

“But Erestor is not.” Haldir drew in a deep breath. “I would give my own life to bring him back.”

 

“Erestor would not want that,” said Celeborn, knowing Erestor would not want Haldir to make such a sacrifice. “And you cannot, at any rate. Erestor is still bound to Elrond.”

 

“Then stop this wedding!”

 

“That I cannot do. I love my daughter and want to see her happy. I am torn, Haldir!” Celeborn hoped Haldir would understand, but then he saw the anger in the sentry’s hazel eyes. “My hands are tied.”

 

“And so Erestor continues to suffer.”

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

Haldir stood in the back of the crowd, hearing Galadriel bind Elrond and Celebrìan in a sacred marriage. His heart and thoughts were with Erestor, however. His last hope that Elrond and Erestor would one day be reunited had now been crushed. Looking at Galadriel, he saw intense pleasure and contentment in her eyes. Celeborn, who stood beside her seemed happy as well, but Haldir’s well-trained eye caught the sadness in his Lord’s orbs.

 

His gaze shifted from Celeborn’s face to Elrond’s and Haldir’s stomach contracted, seeing the happiness on the half-Elf’s face. /You have no idea at how high a price that happiness comes. Only a few telain away from here, Erestor continues to fade and you are the only one who could have brought him back./

 

But he couldn’t really blame Elrond. The half-Elf had no idea Galadriel had manipulated him. /Celebrian and Elrond will be happy. And judging by that kiss they already are. The Valar will grace them with children and Elrond will never know about the two sons he lost./

 

Unable to stay any longer, he excused himself and left to sit with Erestor. The dark-haired Elf didn’t deserve to be alone in this hour.

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

Rumil had joined Haldir and was now watching the activity in the courtyard. His eyes, searching the space below, narrowed, seeing Elrond lift Celebrian into the saddle. They were smiling adoringly at each other and the half-Elf’s hand tenderly rested on her thigh. “They are leaving, Haldir.”

 

“I do not care, Muindor,” said Haldir, who was forced to stop reading to Erestor to talk to Rumil. “For all I care a Balrog can devour the Peredhel.”

 

Rumil sighed and watched the Imladris party leave. Once they had disappeared from view, he turned around and sat down on the side of Erestor’s bed. It had become second nature to all three brothers to hold the dark-haired Elf’s hand and stroke his hair, which was still combed and neatly braided each day. One of them made sure Erestor was always presentable.

 

“Orophin will return from his patrol today. When do you leave?” asked Haldir, trying to locate the passage he had been reading to Erestor.

 

“At the crack of dawn.” Rumil picked up the cup of tea he had brought earlier and sipped from it. They had long given up on making Erestor drink some water. Instead, each morning one of them would stop by to wet the raven-haired Elf’s lips with a few droplets.

 

“I will stay with Erestor tonight. Celeborn will sit with him in the morning.” Haldir had finally found the right passage and was about to start reading again when Rumil spoke before he could begin.

 

“Do you think he will ever return to us? Or will he stay like this until the end of Arda?” Rumil’s eyes were filled with compassion, looking at Erestor’s fragile form.

 

“I have to believe he will wake up one day,” said Haldir in a determined tone. “Once he has mourned his sons’ deaths he will return to us. What is two thousand years to one of us, Rumil? I am convinced Erestor is still in there and that he will come back to us.” /To me./

 

Haldir had long denied this to himself, but his feelings for Erestor had deepened. He wasn’t sure if he could call it love. There wasn’t any passion, any lust. Instead, a deep sense of caring love had settled in his heart. /I want to see him healed one day, and I will be there for him when he finally wakes up!/

 

Haldir’s face was an open book to Rumil, who shared his brother’s hope that Erestor would eventually find the strength to overcome his loss. But unlike his brother, he was afraid that day would never come.

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

It was Orophin’s turn to give Erestor a sponge bath, wash his hair, comb and braid it. His touches were light and comforting whilst he took care of his charge. He had lost count of the many times he had done this for the healer who had saved his life nearly three thousand years ago, and yet he still made sure he treated Erestor with the greatest possible care.

 

“I am not sure you want to know this, but Elrond and Celebrian are now the proud parents of a daughter. They called her Arwen.” During the millennia he had grown used to talking to Erestor like the raven-haired Elf was still awake, and at times he told Erestor about Elrond and his children. “They called for a celebration. I know it is of little comfort to you, but Elrond is happy. Your sacrifice served a noble purpose, meldir. I just wish it had been you who had found bliss in Elrond’s arms.”

 

He had maneuvered Erestor into a sitting position to braid the long, dark hair, and now that he had finished his job, he slowly eased Erestor back onto his side again. “Haldir will return tomorrow from his patrol. I am sure he will be eager to tell you about everything that happened to him.”

 

Orophin was about to smooth back a stray lock, when his hand froze in mid-air.

 

Erestor had finally opened his eyes and was now looking at him.

 

TBC

 

Beta read by Sulien.

All remaining mistakes are mine.

 

Heart in Chains.

Part 12.

 

 

Haldir frantically bounded up the steps of the talan, leaping up several stairs at a time. Upon his return, Orophin had told him that Erestor had finally regained awareness and he was now eager to convince himself that the raven-haired Elf had really returned to them.

 

Storming into the room, his eyes immediately searched Erestor’s features. His heart missed a beat, seeing the large eyes open and blinking. “You returned to us!” He ignored Camfael and Celeborn, who were talking softly in the corner of the room and sat down on the side of Erestor’s bed. “I always knew you would come back to us!” Haldir took hold of Erestor’s right hand and soothingly rubbed the knuckles.

 

When he didn’t get a reply, Haldir’s eyes widened questioningly. Erestor was looking at him and the thin, nearly bloodless lips were moving, but the dark-haired Elf wasn’t speaking with him. “Meldir?” Worried, he searched Erestor’s eyes.

 

“He woke up a few hours ago,” said Camfael, who came to a standstill behind the march warden. “He has been asleep for a very long time and his body needs to adjust. I fear that he will have to relearn everything; speech, eating, walking… Everything.”

 

Camfael’s words dampened Haldir’s enthusiasm. “Are you telling me he is like a newborn?”

 

“Aye,” said Celeborn. “And we need to take care of him for a while. But I am confident that he will grow strong again.”

 

Haldir’s nostrils twitched, smelling urine. “What?”

 

“Erestor has no control over his bodily functions yet,” explained Camfael. “We need to clean him up.”

 

“I will do it,” said Haldir determinedly.

 

“Excellent. In that case you can also give him a sponge bath. He needs to get used to being touched again.” Camfael pushed back the damp sheet and with Haldir’s assistance moved Erestor to the bathroom, where he left the two Elves alone. He knew from previous experience that Erestor liked it best when he was alone with Haldir.

 

Celeborn worriedly looked at Camfael. “Galadriel probably already knows.”

 

Camfael nodded. “Will you be Erestor’s champion or will you abide solely by your wife’s decisions, my Lord?” He knew he was being bold, but Celeborn had to take a stand in this.

 

“I will be his champion, even if it means defying Galadriel.” During these last millennia his wife had changed, and at times he barely recognized the woman he had once loved so dearly. “I do not understand when things went wrong.”

 

“Neither do I,” said Camfael, resting a hand on his Lord’s shoulder. “But I do know that you need to be strong for Erestor’s sake.”

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

Haldir’s heart bled, seeing the lost expression in Erestor’s eyes when he removed the other Elf’s nightshirt. He could tell that Erestor felt embarrassed for not being able to control himself and quickly cleaned his charge. Methodically, he washed Erestor’s shivering body and then wrapped him up in a large, fluffy towel.

 

Now that Erestor was sitting down again, clean and warm, he lowered himself onto one knee and gathered the other’s clammy hands in his. “Erestor? Mellon-nîn, for so many years I hoped you would return to us and now you have. I knew you would not desert me!” Erestor’s pleading eyes made him enfold the trembling Elf in his arms. “I have already requested to be relieved from my duties and Lord Celeborn has given me his permission. I won’t leave your side for the next few weeks.”

 

Hearing Haldir’s words and determined, caring tone, Erestor managed to rest his head on the silver-haired Elf’s shoulder. It was Haldir who had made him come back. Often he had tried to step into the Halls of Waiting, but Haldir’s voice had always called him back. The sentry wasn’t ready yet to let him go and in the end, Erestor had given in. Now that he rested in Haldir’s arms, he felt safe. It was the strangest sensation. In the back of his mind he still sensed Elrond’s presence, but the half-Elf was happy and not drawing any strength away from him.

 

“I sat with you for so many hours, Erestor, but I never stopped believing you would come back to me.” Haldir lifted his eyes and stared into large, chocolate eyes. “So many things have happened, have changed since you… left. There is so much I need to tell you.”

 

Erestor hoped Haldir would ration his information. It felt like his brain was only capable of dealing with tiny morsels of information. Haldir’s arms tightened around him and he loved the way it made him feel - safe.

 

“You should return our patient to his bed,” said Camfael, who now stood in the doorway. “Erestor is still very weak and needs rest.”

 

Haldir was unwilling to part from his charge and gently lifted Erestor in his arms. Entering the bedroom, he nodded thankfully at Celeborn. The fact that his Lord had given him permission to take care of Erestor meant that Celeborn had chosen Erestor’s side after all. He gently placed Erestor in the center of the bed now that Camfael and Celeborn had changed the bed linens. “Camfael is right, you know. You need to rest.”

 

“But first he needs to eat and drink something.” Celeborn had accepted the tray one of the servants had brought and placed it on the nightstand. He immediately noticed the stricken expression in Erestor’s eyes, understanding. “We will take you to the bathroom in time. You won’t have another accident.”

 

Erestor sighed deeply. He was trying to move his hands, but his fingers refused to cooperate. Feeling utterly helpless, he wondered how he was ever going to manage.

 

“Let me help.” Haldir first pulled Erestor against him and then curled his fingers around the cup, helping his charge sip the tepid, herbal tea. “How does it taste?” His heart fluttered, pleased, when Erestor released a soft moan of approval. “It does not matter how long this will take, you will recover.”

 

Erestor wished he shared Haldir’s faith in him, but he didn’t.

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

“Try again and take all the time you need.” Haldir’s heart ached, seeing the self-loathing in Erestor’s eyes. “You can do it.” Erestor was trying to take hold of a piece of bread but his fingers were too stiff and unused to functioning at all to curl around it. “Do not push yourself.” Haldir wished there was something else, something more he could do to help, but Erestor needed time to recover.

 

Releasing a frustrated growl, Erestor gave up. His hand, which had been poised in mid-air, fell back onto the bed. “Can…not…” He had woken up four weeks ago and during this time Haldir hadn’t left his side. The silver-haired Elf looked tired and depressed and he felt sad, knowing he was the reason Haldir was in this way. “Go… r-rest…” Camfael had practiced speaking with him, but his words were still slow and slurred. He felt like he would never recover.

 

“Erestor, remember what Camfael said. It will take you one year at least to fully recover.” Haldir knew he couldn’t remain at Erestor’s side for a whole year, but he hoped that Camfael, Rumil, Orophin and Celeborn would look after Erestor during the times when he was gone. “Try again, please.” Haldir folded his fingers around Erestor’s hand and gently supported the limb when his charge reached for the bread. A brilliant smile was born on his face when Erestor’s fingers curled around the morsel of bread. “See, I told you that you could do it.”

 

Erestor couldn’t help it. Tears slid from his eyes and he dropped the morsel, grabbing Haldir’s fingers instead. He wanted to thank Haldir for his continued support, but the words wouldn’t come to him. His thoughts were chaotic and at times he even forgot his friends’ names. But they always reminded him in a kind voice. So far, he had managed to push away the memories of his sons’ funeral. A mere thought of them was enough to pull him under again and, after millennia of cold loneliness, he didn’t want to give up on Haldir’s company. It was amazing; Haldir had become the most important person in his life.

 

Haldir in turn wondered about the strange expression in Erestor’s eyes. “What is it?” He gently squeezed the powerless fingers in an effort to comfort Erestor.

 

“Out…s-side…” Erestor had no idea if Haldir understood what he was trying to say, but he had to try. His greatest desire was to go outside and sit under an ancient tree whilst watching Arien’s rays play hide and seek with the wind and the leaves. Would Haldir understand?

 

Erestor’s big, needy eyes told Haldir everything he needed to know. “Let me fetch you a warm cloak.” Seeing Erestor’s relief, he gently stroked the long, raven hair. “I know a charming spot near the lake, which is normally deserted at this time of the day.”

 

Erestor managed a weak nod and his eyes followed Haldir through the room when the silver-haired Elf gathered a warm riding-cloak from a chair. It was probably Haldir’s, Erestor realized. He sighed approvingly as Haldir wrapped the warm fabric around him. Aye, it was Haldir’s all right. The cloak exuded the sentry’s pleasant scent.

 

“You are welcome,” whispered Haldir, reading gratitude in Erestor’s eyes. The dark-haired Elf groaned in protest when Haldir pushed his arms beneath him. “You are still too weak to walk. Let me carry you.” He hoped Erestor would let him. “I like doing these things for you.”

 

Erestor studied Haldir and wondered what was really prompting the march warden’s actions. /Is it because he still feels indebted to me? Do I really want to know? I am fortunate to have such a friend./ Haldir lifted him and Erestor succeeded in partly moving his arm around the sentry’s neck. The warm smile that Haldir gave him took him aback. No one had ever looked at him like that. And for some reason he was reminded of something Eärendil had once said; that it was time for him to find a mate. /Aiya, Elbereth, do not let Haldir fall in love with me. I am not worthy of him and… I am already bound to Elrond Half-Elven. I would make Haldir unhappy./

 

Haldir sensed some of Erestor’s thoughts and quickly hid the love he felt. But at the same time, he realized he would have to tell Erestor shortly.

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

“Hap…p-py,” mumbled Erestor blissfully. Haldir had put him down beneath the sheltering leaves of an ancient mallorn tree and the silver-haired sentry had then maneuvered him closer. His head now rested on Haldir’s thigh and the march warden’s fingers gently moved through his hair. He purred his contentment, which made Haldir laugh.

 

“Ah, Erestor, I have seldom seen you this relaxed.” And with that realization came regret. “I talked to Lord Celeborn and he will try to make your life more enjoyable from now on.”

 

/Enjoyable? How can I possibly enjoy life when… when my babies are dead?/ But he quickly pushed that thought away. /Nay, not now./ He didn’t want to think about his guilt, his weakness and cowardice. But was he entitled to feel this happy? His babies were dead whilst he was still alive. Tears built in his eyes and, as he was unable to wipe them away, he turned his face away from Haldir instead. If only his body would start cooperating!

 

“Do not cry, Erestor. Please do not cry.” Acting instinctively, Haldir leaned in closer and pressed a chaste kiss on Erestor’s clammy brow. “Do not cry. You have already shed too many tears.”

 

Feeling Haldir’s lips pressed against his brow made Erestor’s eyes widen. Had the sentry just kissed him? Why?

 

Haldir had the grace to blush. “I… I hope I did not cross the line by doing that. But you looked so lost.”

 

“W-why?” Why had Haldir kissed him? Had it been pity?

 

“I…” Haldir hesitated, cleared his throat and then took heart. “I have feelings for you. I am not sure what their nature is, but I care deeply for you.” The shock that radiated from Erestor’s eyes made his heart miss a beat. “I know you are bound to Elrond and that you cannot accept me as your lover, but I would still offer you my love.”

 

Erestor slowly shook his head. “N-nay… You… un…h-happy.” Accepting Haldir’s offer would make the sentry miserable in the end. He couldn’t do that! No matter how much he longed to be enfolded in the warmth Haldir radiated. He wasn’t even sure if the bond would allow Haldir to touch him intimately.

 

Haldir gazed into Erestor’s sad eyes. “I would also be unhappy if you rejected me. Erestor, I do not know how far we can go, but I want you to know that you have a true and dedicated friend.”

 

Erestor’s eyes swam with unshed tears and Haldir bent forward again, placing butterfly kisses on his eyelids. The raven-haired Elf trembled beneath him, and when he pulled back to make eye contact, he found that Erestor had fainted.

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

“Erestor? What happened to make you faint? Erestor?”

 

With difficultly, Erestor identified Camfael’s voice. “Hal… dir?” His memories came rushing back to him. Haldir had kissed him! Panicking, he tried to elbow himself into an upright position, but the healer’s hand settled on his chest and it worried him how little strength Camfael used in order to make him lie down again. “Where… is… Haldir?” He quickly scanned the room in search of the silver-haired sentry.

 

“Haldir brought you here an hour ago. I berated him for taking you outside whilst you are still recovering.”

 

“Where… is… he… now?” Driven by panic and the fear of losing Haldir, his stutter lessened. He tried to grab hold of Camfael’s hands, but failed.

 

“I sent him to his talan to rest. He looked tired and worried.” Camfael stroked his patient’s sweaty brow. “You need to rest as well, Erestor. Going outside was taxing. What did he think he was doing?”

 

“I… asked him… to take me… outside,” whispered Erestor with his last strength. “Not… his fault.” His eyes became vacant, and he slipped into a healing sleep.

 

Camfael made eye contact with Celeborn, who stood next to the window and out of Erestor’s sight. “They are becoming attached to each other.”

 

“Is that a good thing?” asked Celeborn thoughtfully. Studying Erestor, he realized it would take months for the raven-haired Elf to recover from his ordeal. The hardest test would come when Erestor visited his sons’ tombs.

 

“Aye, I think it is.” Camfael leaned back into the comfort of the chair. “As Erestor’s mate shows no interest in him, I am beginning to think that it would be best if Erestor sought comfort in someone else’s arms. Haldir is a compassionate soul and he seems right for Erestor.”

 

“Erestor’s mate…” Celeborn fought his inner demons, sighed, and then continued, “Erestor’s mate does not know about the bond. We never told him.”

 

Camfael’s eyes flared with anger. “What?”

 

“Erestor formed a healing bond to pull him back from the Great Halls of Waiting. But as this Elf was traumatized, Galadriel and I decided not to burden his soul with a bond.”

 

“You did what?” Camfael rose from his chair and glared at his Lord. “This Elf did not bind himself to Erestor in turn?”

 

“Nay,” said Celeborn, his features contorting. “And he is now happily married and father of three lovely children.”

 

Camfael’s voice grew colder than the ice at the peak of Cradhras when he spoke next. “And I assume you never told him Erestor lost their children.”

 

“That would only have added to the trauma.” Celeborn cringed at the way that sounded.

 

“And Erestor has not been traumatized?” Camfael’s hands changed into fists now that the normally peaceful healer was losing his temper. “I suggest you leave now. Haldir and I will look after Erestor.”

 

Celeborn nodded, resigned. “If it is any consolation to you, I never wanted it to turn out like this. I always hoped Erestor and the Elf he is bound to would reunite one day.”

 

“There is little hope of that now.” Camfael walked over to the doorway, opened the door and bid Celeborn to leave.

 

Heavily burdened by guilt, Celeborn complied.

 

Camfael returned to Erestor’s side with more understanding of the Elf’s tragic life. “They played and manipulated you, Erestor. It is a shame. I do think Haldir would have made you happy.” But Erestor was no longer free to bond with Haldir. “I wish things had gone differently, Erestor. You deserve someone who makes you happy.”

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

“Rumil, let him sleep.” Orophin had dressed himself and was now preparing to join his fellows on today’s patrol. “Haldir has attended to Erestor these past few weeks and needs his rest.”

 

“But he will be cross with us if he wakes up and finds no one is sitting with Erestor.”

 

“Camfael is attending to Erestor,” replied Orophin, who now reached for his bow. “If it were up to me, I would stay as well, but it is my turn to lead today’s patrol. I won’t be back until tomorrow evening.”

 

“Then I will sit with Erestor,” said Rumil in a determined tone. “Orophin?” He glanced at his brother with questioning eyes. “Have you noticed the way Haldir --”

 

“Looks at Erestor?” finished Orophin for him. The silver-haired Elf sighed worriedly. “Only heartache can come from this.”

 

“Do you think we should stop Haldir from –”

 

Orophin cut his brother short. “Nay, Haldir is old enough to make his own decisions. But we will be there for him when things fall apart.”

 

“You expect things to go badly?” Rumil didn’t like the sound of that.

 

Orophin looked deeply into his brother’s eyes. “As long as our Lady continues her scheming, Erestor will get hurt. And now, Haldir will get hurt as well.” He didn’t want to ponder this in depth. “I suggest you write Haldir a note and then leave to sit with Erestor.” He waved his good-bye to Rumil and then hurried to meet up with his fellows.

 

Rumil did as Orophin had suggested and was sitting at Erestor’s bedside within the hour. The dark-haired Elf was still asleep, but what worried him was the way Erestor’s fingers clawed at the sheet. This was not a healing sleep.

 

When Erestor woke an hour later, his eyes immediately searched for Haldir. At first he rejoiced seeing a silver-haired Elf sitting next to the bed, but his mood darkened upon realizing it was Rumil. /Does Haldir no longer want to see me? Does he regret kissing me?/ Awkwardly moving about on the bed, he managed to draw Rumil’s attention. “Hal…dir?” He had to know the truth, no matter how hard or painful.

 

“Haldir is asleep,” said Rumil soothingly. “He was exhausted.”

 

That didn’t quite reassure Erestor, but he couldn’t tell Rumil what really worried him. He had to endure this uncertainty.

 

“Camfael told me to make sure you exercised today,” said Rumil, trying to distract Erestor. “Why don’t we start with your daily exercises and then go for a short walk?”

 

Erestor nodded, resigning himself to his fate. He hated being subjected to these exercises, but knew they were the reason he was still able to move after millennia of catatonia.

 

Rumil pushed back the sheet and began to massage Erestor’s feet. Camfael, he and his brothers had done this so many times that it had become second nature to them. He manipulated arms and legs, occasionally asking Erestor to push back against him or lift his limbs. “This is getting easier for you,” said Rumil pleased. Hopefully Erestor would be able to walk again unaided in a few weeks.

 

“Does… not hurt… that much… any longer.” The first time Camfael had put him through this – after he had woken up – he had cried bitter tears of pain when his tense muscles had protested.

 

“Excellent,” said Rumil in a pleased tone. “And now how about a trip to the bathroom? I will support you, but you have to walk the distance.”

 

Erestor sighed, knowing Rumil was doing this because it was in his best interest. “Aye.” He allowed the silver-haired Elf to fold his arms around his waist and then, aided by Rumil, he pushed himself slowly onto his feet. Camfael had told him that he was making excellent progress, but Erestor wished it would go faster. He didn’t like being this helpless.

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

“And now we will eat breakfast,” announced Rumil, glad that their trip to the bathroom was over. Even after assisting Erestor several times, he still felt awkward when helping the dark-haired Elf relieve himself. And he could tell by the expression on his charge’s face that Erestor hated it as well.

 

Erestor resigned himself to more torture, trying to feed himself with uncertain and staggering movements. His fingers were beginning to cooperate, but coordinating the movement to his mouth still proved difficult. He managed a few bites and then sighed, fatigued. “I will… never… learn…”

 

“That is not true!” Rumil firmly shook his head. “Look at the progress you have made in just a few weeks! When you woke you could not speak and now your stutter is nearly gone!”

 

Erestor gave Rumil a hesitant smile. “Could not… have done it… without… all of you…” They had to grow tired of him eventually, but in the meantime he would soak up their attention.

 

Rumil smiled broadly. “That is what we have been trying to tell you all along, mellon. We are all here for you.” He just hoped the Lady Galadriel would leave Erestor alone from now on.

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

“Sleepy head? Wake up for me.” Haldir had relieved Rumil and now took his place at Erestor’s side. Studying the pale face, he realized Erestor needed more fresh air. But first they needed to address his kiss. Erestor’s reaction to it still baffled him. /Why did he faint?/ As Erestor didn’t stir, he tried again. “Erestor? Wake up.”

 

Haldir’s voice finally reached Erestor and his eyes filled with awareness. Finding Haldir at his side instantly reassured him, but then the memory of the kiss returned and he had to know why. Whilst pushing himself into a sitting position, he whispered, “Why?”

 

Haldir swallowed hard in understanding. “It felt right.” He sat down on the side of the bed and gathered Erestor’s hand in his. “It seems so unfair that you have to suffer in this way when Elrond is happily married. You are entitled to a loving touch as well.”

 

A lump of emotion formed in Erestor’s throat. “You will… end up… hurt. I cannot… bind myself… to you.” He didn’t want to see Haldir hurt because of him.

 

“I know that, lirimaer, and I wish things were different. I still hope Elrond will find out one day and thank you for everything you have done. I hope the two of you will get together, because then you will feel whole again. But in the meantime, let me try to make you happy.”

 

Erestor released a strangled whimper. Haldir was selflessly offering himself to him. It was an offer he should refuse, but could he? He yearned for a tender touch, a caring embrace, a soft voice telling him someone loved him. After being alone for so long, he found he couldn’t go on in that manner any longer. His greatest fear was hurting Haldir at some point, but he also realized the sentry made his own decisions and was going into this with his eyes wide open.

 

“No one knows what will happen in the future,” said Haldir, making one last effort to convince Erestor to accept his proposal. “But we can make the time we have left much more pleasurable. I give myself freely, Erestor. And should there ever come a time that I have to let you go, I will be able to do so because I care so deeply for you.”

 

Erestor’s eyes filled with tears and fastened on Haldir’s. “Aye…” he whispered eventually. He didn’t really know what he was saying yes to. All he knew was that he couldn’t stand being alone any longer.

 

When Haldir leaned in closer to gather him in his arms and press a gentle kiss upon his lips, he accepted the intimacy and clung to the silver-haired Elf as a drowning man to a floating log.

 

TBC

 

Beta read by Sulien.

All remaining mistakes are mine.

 

Heart in Chains

Part 13

 

 

“Are you comfortable like this?” Haldir, holding Erestor in his arms, pressed deeper into the comfort of the mattress. Camfael had seemed stunned, finding him in bed with Erestor, but hadn’t ordered him to leave. So Haldir felt it was safe to assume that the healer approved.

 

“I am com…fortable…” whispered Erestor in a sleepy tone. He had seldom felt more at ease. Haldir had curled himself around him and was holding him tightly. His head rested against the sentry’s chest and he had wrapped his arms around Haldir. The gentle touches bestowed onto his hair made him relax and his heart fluttered madly whenever Haldir pressed a chaste kiss on a strand of his hair. “’Tis nice.”

 

“Aye, ‘tis,” Haldir listened to Erestor softly purr his contentment. “You feel so right in my arms.”

 

Erestor was grateful Haldir couldn’t see his blush. This was all so new and unexpected. Just when he had resigned himself to a life without love, Haldir had changed everything.

 

“Would you look at me, lirimaer? I have the distinct suspicion you are blushing.” Haldir enjoyed teasing Erestor somewhat.

 

Erestor was biting his bottom lip when he finally lifted his eyes to meet Haldir’s. “I *am* blushing.”

 

“I can see that.” Haldir laughed warmly, but then sobered again. “May I kiss you?”

 

“You did not bother… to ask permission… that first time…” Erestor was surprised he was teasing Haldir in turn. What was it about the sentry that made him feel like he could lower all the walls he had ever erected? It was trust, he decided in the end. He trusted Haldir unconditionally.

 

“In that case…” Haldir had already read the answer in Erestor’s eyes and leaned in closer to carefully claim the other’s lips. He had been afraid that Erestor would tense upon contact, but the dark-haired Elf remained relaxed. Letting his tongue trail along the insides of Erestor’s lips, his eyes beamed with joy when the raven-haired Elf eagerly accepted the kiss.

 

Erestor’s toes were curling, and he released a pleased moan, feeling Haldir’s tongue dance against the insides of his lips. He had no idea what he was supposed to do and was contented to let Haldir take the lead. The kiss felt warm and caring and caused a tingling sensation throughout his body. “Oh…”

 

Hearing that little sound pleased Haldir tremendously. “That is only the beginning, lirimaer.”

 

Erestor swallowed nervously. “Haldir, I…” Embarrassed, he wondered how to tell Haldir how inexperienced he was.

 

“Elrond was your first…” whispered Haldir knowingly.

 

“Aye.” Erestor averted his gaze in shame. “I do not know what… how…”

 

“Do not worry about that, lirimaer,” said Haldir soothingly. “We won’t rush this and we will take one step at a time.” He had seen the state Elrond had left Erestor in after the binding and realized a lot of pain, hurt and fear lingered in the other Elf’s mind. “I will be gentle with you, always.”

 

Haldir’s promise reassured Erestor and he rested his head against the silver-haired Elf’s chest once more. “I am tired,” he whispered honestly.

 

“Then go to sleep. Tomorrow is a new day and from now on I will make sure your days are filled with joy.”

 

Erestor smiled against Haldir’s chest at hearing that promise and allowed himself to drift off into reverie of what could be.

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

“You are doing excellently!” said Camfael, proud that Erestor was finally walking unaided. Several months had passed since Erestor had woken from his death-like sleep, and the rate at which he was recovering was amazing. Camfael had the distinct impression that Haldir’s presence was responsible for Erestor’s speedy recovery.

 

When he had first discovered the sentry in bed with Erestor – sleeping innocently, nothing more – he hadn’t known what to think of it. Knowing that Erestor was bound to someone else told him that Haldir and Erestor could never truly be happy. But when he had seen the care and love with which Haldir surrounded Erestor, he had wholeheartedly approved. These two should make the best of the time given to them.

 

“Now steady yourself!” Seeing Erestor sway unexpectedly alarmed Camfael. But then Erestor reached for the wall and smiled reassuringly at him. “I am very proud of you.”

 

Erestor blushed weakly. He still had a hard time accepting any compliments. “Thank you.”

 

“When will Haldir join us?” Camfael knew perfectly well that the sentry was on patrol, and if someone knew when he was expected back, it was Erestor.

 

“He will be back when Ithil rises.”

 

/That is good,/ thought Camfael. During the few nights that Haldir hadn’t been able to sleep at Erestor’s side, the dark-haired Elf’s sleep had been plagued by nightmares. Erestor would wake up, screaming for his babies and blaming himself for their deaths. Camfael had tried to talk to Erestor about the miscarriage on several occasions, but his patient never let him, clinging to his feelings of hurt and guilt.

 

Erestor seated himself next to the window and fumbled with the fabric of his robes. These last few weeks he had grown strong again and the fact that Elrond wasn’t drawing any energy from him helped. Elrond… He couldn’t help but wonder. “Master Camfael? Is there any news of Elrond Half-Elven and his family?”

 

Camfael had wondered before why Erestor was this interested in the Peredhel but always told him everything he knew. “The Lady Arwen left Lothlorien a month ago. It is a pity you did not see her. Her beauty is said to be unrivaled.”

 

Erestor nodded slowly. Since reaching her majority, Arwen frequently visited her grandparents. He had heard that she got on especially well with Galadriel, which made him wonder if Arwen was as cold and manipulative as Galadriel. The thought alone made him shiver.

 

“The Lady Celebrian announced a visit and should already be on her way here.” Camfael tried to think of more details for Erestor. “Lord Elrond sent us several books on lore and healing methods and they are a great contribution to our library. Perhaps you will want to study them later?”

 

“He is happy, then,” whispered Erestor, uncertain of his own feelings. /I wonder what kind of man Elrond has become./ It seemed unlikely he would ever meet the half-Elf again and forced himself to think of something else. “I heard Orcs were sighted near our borders?”

 

“Haldir must have told you that.” Camfael had advised against upsetting Erestor in any way, but Haldir always updated the dark-haired Elf on what happened near the borders. “Aye, it is true. They are trying to invade our lands, but Lord Celeborn has taken appropriate measures.”

 

/Aye, that is why Haldir cannot be here,/ thought Erestor, saddened. The march warden had accepted command and was now responsible for keeping their borders safe. Such responsibility limited the time he could spend with Erestor.

 

Erestor composed himself. Haldir had already done so much for him! He would never have woken up if it hadn’t been for the silver-haired sentry who now guarded his heart.

 

But still it felt wrong. It should be Elrond and not Haldir who held the key to his heart. But Camfael had just told him how happy the half-Elf was and it was time to let go of old hopes.

 

“Would you like to play a game of chess?” Camfael had tried to make playing chess a daily habit. The game forced Erestor to concentrate and honed his fine motor skills.

 

Erestor smiled and nodded. He had lost every game they had ever played, but was determined to win one day.

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

“Lirimaer? I am back.” Haldir had soundlessly made his way over to Erestor’s bed. Sitting down on the side, he found that the dark-haired Elf was already awake. “I am sorry I am late, but we ran into a pack of Orcs. They are constantly trying to infiltrate the lands.”

 

Arien’s golden rays warmed the room, telling Erestor it was already morning. He had spent the night alone then… Without nightmares! Now that did surprise him!

 

“Why are you looking at me like that?” asked Haldir, smiling. Seeing the still dreamy expression in Erestor’s eyes, he leaned in closer and kissed him.

 

Erestor sighed, melting into the kiss. He parted his lips, allowing Haldir’s inquisitive tongue past his teeth and then sucked gently on the tip. Haldir tasted like the forest, of blueberries and earth. The scents made his head reel and he pushed himself into a sitting position, possessively wrapping his arms around Haldir’s neck. “I have missed you.”

 

“And I you, lirimaer.” Haldir nipped playfully at Erestor’s bottom lip and then sat back, studying the dark-haired Elf. Almost a year had passed since Erestor had woken up and so far, they had limited themselves to kissing. A part of him knew that what they were doing was wrong; that the only one who could make Erestor truly happy was Elrond, but in the meantime he would be damned if he let Erestor suffer from loneliness! He read the same realization in Erestor’s eyes. The other Elf also knew that his happiness lay with Elrond, but despair had gotten the better of him, making him accept Haldir’s offer. Haldir promised himself to never regret any of this. He had long realized that they would probably never go all the way, would never make love, because Erestor’s fëa was entwined with Elrond’s and not with his.

 

A sad, regretful look slipped into Erestor’s eyes, making Haldir remember. “Do you still want to visit the tomb today?” It had taken Erestor this long to build the necessary courage to visit his sons’ last resting place. And when he had heard Erestor planned on going there, Haldir had immediately offered to accompany him.

 

“Aye, and will you come with me?” Erestor’s fingers curled around Haldir’s, hoping the silver-haired Elf hadn’t changed his mind. He truly didn’t know if he could go there alone.

 

“Of course.” Haldir smiled reassuringly. “But first I need to return to my talan for a quick wash and a clean set of clothes. I will return to you within the hour. Make sure you are ready to leave, then?”

 

“I will be ready,” said Erestor in a shaky tone. He had to do this!

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

/Oh, Nienna, please give me strength…/ Now that he was standing in front of the small, marble tomb, his strength was quickly leaving him. Thankfully Haldir was at his side, supporting him and making sure he stayed on his feet. /My little ones, I never wanted for you to die./

 

“Erestor?” Worried, Haldir searched Erestor’s dark eyes. The pupils were dilated and the black orbs were swimming with tears. “You are not to blame, remember that. This was Seregon’s doing.”

 

Sudden curiosity overwhelmed Erestor. “Whatever happened to Telu?”

 

Haldir shuffled nervously. He would have preferred not to tell Erestor. “We failed to keep your miscarriage a secret and word spread quickly.” He cringed, seeing Erestor grow pale. “We tried to keep it private, but…”

 

Erestor bowed his head. “So everyone knows?”

 

“Most of the sentries know, aye.” Haldir cleared his throat. “When Telu learned that you had lost your babies, he… he felt terribly ashamed. He volunteered for the next mission and when we ran into a pack of Orcs… He was hit by several poisoned arrows… He died.”

 

“So my sacrifice was in vain. Telu is dead.” Erestor stared at the tomb, which held his sons’ remains. “Everything was in vain. My sons are dead and Telu as well.”

 

Haldir’s nervousness increased. There was something else Erestor should know. “Do you remember Seregon? The guard, who placed his dagger against your throat?”

 

“I do… vaguely.” Everything had become a blur, for which he was grateful. He didn’t want to remember the moment he had felt his babies’ inner lights go out.

 

“Lord Celeborn banished him from Lothlorien for what he did. The last thing I heard was that he found a new home with the Elves in Mirkwood. Lord Celeborn was enraged when he heard what had happened.”

 

“Enraged?” Erestor’s mind suddenly flashed back to the moment when Celeborn had placed the tiny bodies inside the tomb. “He even said a prayer.”

 

Haldir shivered, seeing the distant look in Erestor’s eyes. He knew instinctively that the other Elf’s mind had traveled back to the day of the funeral and was now reliving painful memories. He tightened his embrace, pulling Erestor close to his chest. “Celeborn was more affected than he wanted any of us to know. He does not always agree with Galadriel, but for some reason he never openly objects to her decisions.”

 

Erestor rested his head against Haldir’s shoulder. “I would have loved to see them grow up, you know.” He hadn’t really heard Haldir’s words, as he was being consumed with old and familiar pain. “I wonder what they would have looked like, if they had lived.”

 

Haldir swallowed hard; he had to offer Erestor some comfort. “I am sure they would have been handsome, tall, dark-eyed and raven-haired, as Elrond and you are both dark-haired. Your sons would have been excellent warriors and healers. They would have made you proud.”

 

Tears left Erestor’s eyes as he tried to imagine what they would have looked like. “And Elrond would have been proud of them as well.” He cocked his head and made eye contact with the sentry. “They never told him, did they?”

 

"As far as I can tell, nay, they never did.” Erestor trembled against him and Haldir deemed the time had come to leave this place. “We should go back.”

 

“Not yet, please…” Erestor resolutely freed himself of Haldir’s embrace and walked over to the tomb. He placed both hands on top of the marble, bowed his head and focused inward. /I am sorry, little ones. I cannot say that enough. It is because of my cowardice that you died. Wish I could hold you in my arms./

 

Haldir hurried over to Erestor’s side when the raven-haired Elf swayed on his feet and steadied him. “Do not torment yourself in this way, lirimaer. The little ones would not want that, and you make my heart ache.”

 

“I do not want to cause you any pain, Haldir,” said Erestor softly. “And I will cause you pain. I know it.”

 

“I make my own decisions. I decide whom I love. And you hold a very special place inside my heart.”

 

Erestor knew he couldn’t change Haldir’s mind and accepted what the other Elf was offering him. “I am done here.”

 

“Good, then let us go back inside.” Haldir kept his arm around Erestor’s waist as they made their way back. /You need to know that you are loved and I will do my best to convince you how truly loved you are./

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

“Let me take care of you tonight,” said Haldir in a tender tone. Visiting the tomb had emotionally drained Erestor and he wanted to take away the worst pain.

 

“I trust you,” replied Erestor, sitting down on the bed. “Unconditionally.”

 

That trust, shining from Erestor’s eyes, convinced Haldir to take the next step. “Let me give you one evening of peace and bliss.”

 

Erestor didn’t have the strength, or the will to reject Haldir. He wanted this as well. When the silver-haired Elf began to undress him, he watched Haldir with interest, wondering about the other’s plans.

 

Haldir removed Erestor’s tunic, boots, leggings, and even the loincloth. “Lie down, lirimaer.”

 

Erestor complied and lay down on his stomach, watching Haldir from over his shoulder. His breathing hitched, seeing the march warden remove his clothes as well. /What are you doing, Haldir?/

 

Haldir smiled reassuringly and picked up a phial filled with scented oil. “You are tense, lirimaer, and I have been told that I give wonderful massages. Let me ease those tense muscles.”

 

Erestor nodded once and then rested his brow on his forearms, giving Haldir permission to do whatever he wanted. He gasped softly when Haldir straddled his lower back and memories of Elrond taking him rushed back to him.

 

“Relax for me, lirimaer. I would sooner cut off my own arm than cause you pain. Remember, I promised to never hurt you and to always be gentle with you. I always keep my word.”

 

Erestor swallowed hard. “I do trust you, but… ‘tis hard for me. It brings back memories.”

 

And Haldir suddenly understood. “I won’t take you, lirimaer. I will never hurt you in that way.” Part of him knew Erestor wasn’t meant for him. Maybe if they had met at a different time, a different place… After opening the phial he let a generous amount of oil flow onto the palm of his hand. Rubbing his palms together, he warmed the oil before putting his hands on Erestor’s back.

 

Tensing at first, Erestor bit his bottom lip, hoping Haldir wouldn’t change his mind. /But nay, this is Haldir and he will never hurt me./ Once that realization sank in fully, he began to relax and moaned whenever Haldir worked on a particularly sore and tense area.

 

Haldir loved hearing those soft moans. “I gather this feels good?”

 

“Very… good,” mumbled Erestor blissfully. Haldir’s hands were working their magic, and after kneading the tense shoulder muscles, they now traveled to his lower back.

 

Feeling Erestor’s surrender -- and his need -- Haldir leaned in closer and placed butterfly kisses on one shoulder. Erestor briefly squirmed beneath him, but then purred softly. /Ah, you like that./ Growing bolder, he suckled an earlobe whilst running his fingertips down the dark-haired Elf’s neck. It was beyond him how Elrond could have been so cruel when he had claimed Erestor. This Elf deserved to be treated with love and respect.

 

When Haldir’s hands settled on his buttocks, Erestor did tense. “What are you doing?”

 

“You trust me, remember?” Haldir kneaded the soft mounds of flesh, but did not attempt to touch that most hidden place, knowing Erestor was not ready for such intimacy. Instead, he focused on the massage, hoping it would lure Erestor back into relaxation. “Would you turn around for me? Then I can do your front as well. You are very tense, lirimaer.”

 

/My front?/ Erestor wasn’t sure what to think of that, but he complied and rolled onto his back. Haldir’s powerful yet gentle hands now rested on his chest and touched him carefully. He wondered about the silver-haired Elf’s intentions when Haldir moved further down and his eyes widened when oil-slick fingers touched his lax member.

 

Haldir stroked Erestor’s member softly, bowed forward and kissed him. Erestor reacted passionately in spite of his surprise, reassuring Haldir that he wanted this as well.

 

Haldir’s tongue now circled one hard nipple and then sucked it insistently, slowly preparing Erestor for what was to come. He kept up the lazy stroking of Erestor’s hardening flesh and let his tongue trail down the flat abdomen. He had finally reached his goal when he could lick the tip of Erestor’s shaft. He was aware of Erestor’s eyes upon him and smiled. Erestor really did trust him unconditionally. Cupping Erestor’s sac within the palm of one hand, he used the other to stroke his inner thigh. Haldir then relaxed his throat and slowly closed his lips around the hard flesh rising from Erestor’s groin.

 

“Oh!” Erestor yelped softly at that delicious sensation. He had no idea what Haldir was doing or why he was doing it, but his body liked it. Now that he was buried in Haldir’s warm, wet mouth, his body reacted instinctively, urging him to thrust.

 

Placing one hand on Erestor’s hips, Haldir made sure the dark-haired Elf couldn’t thrust too strongly and took him as deeply as he could. Casting a glance at Erestor, Haldir saw the baffled surprise in the dark eyes. Passion, pleasure and curiosity stared back at him.

 

“Ha… Ha…Hal…” In the end, Erestor gave up on addressing Haldir. The sensations that were running through him were divine. His instincts urged him to tangle his fingers in the long strands of silver hair, which he did, and fascinated, he watched the bobbing motion of Haldir’s head.

 

Grinning between licks and subtle suckling, Haldir felt Erestor tremble with impending release.

 

“Hahl…diiir!” Erestor briefly tensed when reaching release, but as orgasm took him, he utterly relaxed beneath Haldir. “Ai…” His eyes were still fastened on Haldir and they widened, realizing the silver-haired beauty was swallowing his seed. “Aiya…aah.”

 

Haldir neatly licked Erestor clean before letting the sated flesh slip from his lips. Purring like a cat, he moved closer to Erestor and buried him in an embrace. Sealing their encounter with a kiss, he waited for Erestor to collect himself.

 

Realizing Haldir was still hard, Erestor wondered what to do. Haldir had just given him the most shattering orgasm he’d ever had and he felt like he should return the favor. But he wasn’t so sure he could take Haldir into his mouth and bring him to orgasm in that way.

 

Haldir read all that and more in Erestor’s eyes and gently guided the dark-haired Elf’s hand to his erection. He curled the other’s fingers around his aching flesh and then recommenced kissing him.

 

Erestor felt relieved, now that he knew what Haldir needed from him. Stroking firmly, he allowed the other Elf’s tongue to entwine with his.

 

Haldir came after a few firm strokes delivered by Erestor’s hand and he moaned into the other Elf’s mouth, finding release.

 

And yet, at that moment they both knew their love couldn’t be. Part of Erestor wasn’t present, was with the half-Elf. Still trembling from his release, Haldir wiped away the salty tears that had escaped Erestor’s eyes. “I do love you, lirimaer.”

 

Erestor’s throat tightened with emotion. “And I love you, Haldir of Lorien, but…”

 

“Your soul belongs to someone else.”

 

“I wish it did not.” Erestor meant it. He loved Haldir and knew the sentry would have made him happy. “But the Valar decided differently.”

 

“I will be content with what you can give me, lirimaer,” said Haldir, remembering his promise to never regret this. “And now, let us sleep.”

 

Erestor sighed deeply, allowing Haldir to maneuver him onto his side so the silver-haired Elf could spoon up behind. Being held tightly, he quickly fell asleep.

 

Haldir however, finally allowed a single tear to flow from his hazel eyes and kissed the long, dark hair in front of him and whispered softly, “I love you and will never regret this, melethwain-nín.” (my most beloved.)

 

TBC

 

Beta read by Sulien.

All remaining mistakes are mine.

 

Heart in Chains

Part 14

 

 

“Haldir!” Overjoyed that his lover had returned from patrol early, Erestor flung himself at the guardian, who opened his arms just in time to catch him. “I missed you!”

 

“And I missed you.” Haldir graced his lover with a doting smile, a quick kiss delivered to luscious lips, and then slowly pulled Erestor along with him, as he headed for the woods. Erestor tended to lock himself up in his room when he was away on patrol and he didn’t like that behavior. He knew Erestor was terrified of accidentally running into Galadriel, but the raven-haired Elf needed to be in the open air, to feel the wind play with his hair and the damp earth beneath his feet. “You were not this pale when I left,” Haldir said in a disapproving tone. He had been away for a fortnight and reckoned Erestor hadn’t been outside in that time, as Rumil and Orophin had been on patrol as well and thus unable to accompany him on his walks.

 

“I studied whilst you were away. I borrowed several books on herb lore from Camfael and learned quite a lot,” said Erestor, trying to ignore the disapproving tone in Haldir’s voice. “I want to be the best healer on Arda.”

 

“You already are,” replied Haldir in a gentle tone. “Even Elrond needs herbs and healing plants to work his art, but you are a true healer, lirimaer.” He smiled, seeing Erestor blush. “Now tell me, what happened whilst I was away?”

 

“Not much.” Erestor eagerly leaned in closer when Haldir folded an arm around his waist. The guardian then encouraged him to rest his head on a muscular shoulder, which Erestor did.

 

They walked for several minutes, and halted when they had reached the small, marble tomb. Haldir had long realized his lover’s need to visit here regularly, but Erestor still lacked the courage to come here alone. The dark-haired Elf would only come here when accompanied.

 

They sat down on the bench Celeborn had ordered to be placed near the tomb, and both stared at the babies’ last resting place. In the end, Haldir cleared his throat, unwilling to deliver the news he had to tell Erestor.

 

Apprehensively, Erestor looked into Haldir’s hazel eyes. “What is it?”

 

“Something terrible has happened.” Haldir gathered Elrond didn’t know yet, as Erestor didn’t seem to be weakening. It was only fair to warn Erestor.

 

“What happened?” Erestor took hold of Haldir’s hand and squeezed it. “Did something happen to Rumil and Orophin?” But no, if something were amiss with the brothers, Haldir wouldn’t be sitting here this calmly.

 

“The Lady Celebrian was attacked on her way back to Imladris. A pack of Orcs assaulted her.” Haldir swallowed hard. “Her escort was murdered and she was severely injured. I have it on good authority that she was… sexually assaulted.”

 

Erestor had paled. “By the Grace of the Valar… How can anyone do that to an Elf?”

 

“Her sons are currently escorting her back to Imladris. Lord Celeborn would have preferred for her to be taken to Lothlorien instead, but Elladan and Elrohir wanted to take their mother home, hoping Elrond can heal her.”

 

“Even I cannot heal someone’s fëa,” said Erestor regretfully. His heart ached for the Lady, but then he realized what this meant for him personally. “Elrond will be devastated when he learns what has happened.”

 

“And he will need your strength. The nightmare will start all over again,” said Haldir miserably. “I do not want to lose you to Elrond or to catatonia, lirimaer.”

 

Erestor bowed his head in defeat. “The Lady Celebrian will fade.” He had studied enough books on healing to know she wouldn’t survive. “And Elrond will be left alone again. What if, in his grief, he will start to fade as well?”

 

“My greatest fear is that Galadriel will now remember your existence. She has left you alone, but…”

 

“I understand your fear,” said Erestor in a shaky tone. “But I am bound to Elrond Half-Elven. I agreed to this deal.”

 

“You agreed because Galadriel pressured you into accepting it!” Haldir, growing enraged, suddenly jumped to his feet. “By the Grace of the Valar, Erestor! You agreed to her proposal because you were a prisoner! You wanted access to the library and to go outside occasionally. Galadriel had no right to do this to you!”

 

Erestor drew in a deep breath, rose from the bench and advanced on Haldir. Determinedly, he placed his hands on Haldir’s shoulders and waited for the silver-haired Elf to look at him. “We always knew this day could come.”

 

“I vowed to never regret loving you,” whispered Haldir, calm once more. “And I will keep my promise.” He knew Erestor would need him and his strength in the time to come. Once Elrond found out he would lose his wife, the half-Elf would unknowingly draw energy from Erestor. He led Erestor back to the bench, where they sat down and then Haldir pulled him close. “You will always have my support, lirimaer.”

 

“I know that, but I feel guilty for putting you through this,” whispered Erestor, miserably. This was so unfair to Haldir!

 

“Do not worry about me, melethwain-nín.” Haldir buried Erestor in a loving embrace. “We shall face this together.”

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

Unfortunately Haldir wasn’t close when pain unexpectedly cut through Erestor’s heart, making him stagger, but Camfael was, and the healer quickly steadied his charge. Word of the attack on the Lady Celebrian had spread and all Lothlorien now knew. Galadriel and Celeborn had gone into seclusion to deal with their grief and the border patrols had been increased, forcing Haldir away from Erestor more often.

 

“Erestor?” Camfael’s worried eyes met Erestor’s chocolate ones. “What is amiss?”

 

“He found out,” panted Erestor softly. “Elrond finally knows.” At that moment, he didn’t realize how much information he was giving away by saying that, but when Camfael’s eyes narrowed in sudden understanding, he realized his mistake. “Would you… take me… to my room? I need… to lie down.”

 

“Nay, I cannot keep my eye on you there. You will be alone now that Haldir and his brothers are on patrol. I will take you to the healers’ talan instead.”

 

Erestor briefly considered protesting, but when the torment in his heart doubled, he simply held on to the healer for support and followed where Camfael led him.

 

A few minutes later, they arrived in the healers’ talan and Camfael guided him to an empty room, located near his own. “Lie down.”

 

Again, Erestor complied. “Would you… check when Haldir… is scheduled…to return?”

 

“I will, but I doubt he will return shortly.” Camfael stepped into the bathroom, wetted a cloth and then returned to place it on Erestor’s clammy brow. He gathered Erestor’s hand in his and then checked the pulse, which he found much too fast. “I can prepare a tea that will help you rest.”

 

“Thank you… for your care,” whispered Erestor, closing his eyes in concentration. Elrond’s emotional agony was growing and quickly invading his being. Bound to the half-Elf, Erestor didn’t have any defenses against the growing grief. He forced his eyes open again, recalling that Camfael had probably figured out his mate’s identity. “You cannot… tell anyone.”

 

Camfael’s expression hardened, but his anger was directed at Celeborn and Galadriel, not at Erestor. “You are bound to Elrond Half-Elven.” Words, which Celeborn had spoken years ago, now made sense. /He is happily married and father of three lovely children. I had no idea he was talking about Elrond Half-Elven! What in Elbereth’s name possessed them to place such a burden on Erestor? The least they could have done was to make the bond mutual./

 

Erestor saw the play of emotions on Camfael’s face and just knew what the healer was thinking. “They did not want him… to bind himself to… a kinslayer.”

 

“Kinslayer.” Camfael had forgotten about that. “You could not kill someone even if your life depended on it,” he said with determination. “What really happened?”

 

Erestor understood and swallowed hard. “One of Maglor’s men… had driven a dagger… into Rhoss’ heart… I knew that removing it… would further the blood loss… so I kept it in place until… I could work my healing powers… Orophin found me in that… situation.”

 

“And he reached the wrong conclusion.” Camfael nodded once. “You should have told our Lord and Lady.”

 

“I did… I tried!” Erestor, growing agitated with frustration, glared at Camfael. “I believe… her words were… “I do not want to defile myself… with your memories”…I even begged your Lady… to read my mind… and find out the truth! She… refused!”

 

“I am sorry,” whispered Camfael sincerely. “But if it is any consolation to you, I think Lord Celeborn no longer feels you are a kinslayer.” Realizing he was upsetting Erestor, Camfael tried to steer away from their current topic. “Is there anything I can do to ease your pain?”

 

“Fetch… Haldir,” whispered Erestor, fatigued.

 

“I will check for him after I have prepared that tea,” decided Camfael. “Maybe it will help after all.”

 

Erestor nodded, eager for Camfael to leave. He needed to be alone. Elrond’s pain was shattering and burying him in darkness. The fact that his strength was leaving him so quickly made him feel exhausted.

 

Camfael headed for the doorway and looked over his shoulder at Erestor. The dark-haired Elf had closed his eyes and his fingers clawed at the sheets. He felt sympathy and pity for Erestor, but anger toward his Lord and Lady. /How could they order this?/ His view of his rulers had changed dramatically.

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

Galadriel’s eyes were red from crying. She had gone to Celeborn for consolation and her husband had tried to ease her pain, but to no avail. When the news of the assault on Celebrian had reached them, they had been devastated. Just when Celebrian and her family had been happy, disaster had struck.

 

She rested her head on Celeborn’s shoulder, and allowed him to enfold her. “My heart weeps for her.”

 

“So does mine.” But Celeborn was trying to act strong for her. His heart was breaking as well, but he also knew Galadriel needed him to be her support. “If she does not sail for Aman, we will lose her.”

 

Galadriel nodded against his chest. “I do not want to lose my daughter.”

 

“I will implore Elrond to convince Celebrian to sail for the Undying Lands. That way, you will be reunited with her some day.” Galadriel had told him about the future and their separation. Whilst Galadriel would sail, he would stay. Celeborn would never be able to say goodbye to these lands, as he was rooted here.

 

Now that they had been reunited in grief, his frustrations at the way she had treated Erestor faded to the background. They needed each other to come to terms with losing their only daughter. If Celebrian stayed, she would fade within the year. Sailing to Aman was her only means of survival.

 

“Elrond…” Galadriel’s eyes suddenly narrowed and she slightly pulled away from her husband so she could look at him. “Elrond will be devastated.”

 

“And so will Arwen and the twins. They are a close family and letting Celebrian sail will injure their souls.”

 

“But Celebrian does not have a choice.” Composing herself, Galadriel walked further away from Celeborn and sat down in a comfortable chair. There was little she could do to help Celebrian. Her daughter’s future now lay in Aman and when the day of their reunion came, her heart would rejoice at holding Celebrian in her arms again. But for now, she had to focus on Elrond.

 

Celeborn shivered, seeing the look in her eyes shift from mourning to scheming.

 

“Elrond depends on the kinslayer once more. Tell me, what is the state of Erestor’s health?”

 

Celeborn didn’t like that question, but answered it nonetheless. “He has grown strong again. The effects of his period of catatonia have been undone.”

 

“Good.” Galadriel’s thoughts raced. “Elrond probably knows by now, which means he needs Erestor to sustain him.” Her narrowed eyes fastened on her husband’s. “I know Erestor has been seeing Haldir. That must stop. We cannot allow such a distraction when Elrond’s life may depend on the kinslayer.”

 

Celeborn tensed. “Galadriel, do you not think we have already demanded enough sacrifices on his part? After losing his babies he drifted away from us. We cannot—“

 

But Galadriel cut him short. She drew herself up to her full height and glared at him. “Erestor killed one of his own kin. He is a kinslayer. I know he has tricked you into caring for him, and I am appalled you allowed it to happen. I watched Haldir and his brothers attend to him and I allowed it. But now I have to put my foot down and demand that it stops. Erestor is our prisoner because he has to pay for what he did. The way Haldir and you treat him is… unbecoming.”

 

Celeborn’s eyes widened. “Galadriel,” he hissed in a warning tone.

 

But she continued at any rate. “He agreed to being bound to Elrond and now it is his duty to sustain the Peredhel. If necessary, I will send him to Imladris so that he will be closer to Elrond. That way, his healing energy will reach Elrond more easily.”

 

Celeborn shook his head. “I won’t allow you to continue to use him in that way.”

 

“You won’t allow it?” Galadriel’s hands changed into fists and her icy eyes simmered with rage. “Erestor forfeited his life when he killed that guard and I will do what I deem best for Middle-Earth!”

 

“I am warning you,” growled Celeborn, who had trouble understanding how Galadriel could go from mourning to raging within moments.

 

“Warning me?” Galadriel shook her head in disbelief. “No husband would speak to his wife in such a way!”

 

Celeborn’s features softened. “I do love you, but at times I do not concur with your judgment and this is one of them. Why can you not open your heart and see that we misjudged Erestor? He is a true healer and I do believe him incapable of ending someone’s life.”

 

“That is your opinion, not mine. I will farspeak with my daughter to find out about her plans. Do not keep me away from Erestor. I will use his healing qualities as I see fit.” Considering this argument ended, she marched out of the room, chin held high.

 

Celeborn watched her leave with much pain in his heart. A moment ago he had claimed he loved her, but the truth was that he wasn’t sure anymore. How could he love a woman whose heart had turned to ice?

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

“Erestor, I hurried back to you as quickly as I could!” Haldir was dismayed, seeing the weakening state Erestor was in. A week had passed since Elrond had found out about Celebrian’s injuries and the half-Elf had drawn his strength from Erestor since then. The result was that the formerly healthy blush on Erestor’s cheeks had faded and the familiar paleness had returned in its place. Haldir was shocked to see the changes in his lover when Erestor shakily rose from the bed to greet him. Dark circles were beginning to show beneath the dull, dark eyes and it seemed that Erestor was losing weight once more. Leggings that had clung to his body a week ago now seemed too loose. “I am sorry it took me so long.”

 

Erestor sighed, feeling Haldir’s arms enfold him. “I am so glad that you are back.” He leaned heavily against the march warden, and momentarily felt relieved they had been unable to bond. Drawing his energy from Haldir was something he had never wanted, knowing how weak it would make the warrior feel. “Come and talk to me about what you learned during the patrol. Distract me from this.”

 

Haldir followed Erestor to the chairs in front of the fire place and after sitting down, he studied his lover closely, asking him the first thing that came to mind. “Why are you not staying in your own rooms?”

 

“Camfael felt more comfortable having me here. He wants to keep an eye on me.”

 

Haldir nervously licked his lips. “You look tired… drained.”

 

“’Tis Elrond. You should know that.” Erestor drew in a deep breath. “It has only been a week. I wonder how I will fare once Elrond’s grief mounts.”

 

“I will be there for you,” Haldir repeated his promise, whilst gathering Erestor’s hands in his. Leaning forward, he held them cradled in his own. “I trust Galadriel has left you alone?”

 

“She has not approached me yet, but she will,” said Erestor with calm understanding.

 

“You cannot allow her to continue to manipulate you, lirimaer.”

 

“I do not have a choice,” said Erestor softly. “I accepted this bond.”

 

His heart ached for Erestor and Haldir reacted on impulse, embracing the hurting Elf and placing a kiss on his clammy brow. “I will keep you safe.”

 

“Haldir, melme, that is a promise you might not be able to keep,” whispered Erestor, saddened. “But I will always love you for trying.”

 

Haldir sighed deeply, knowing instinctively Erestor was right. But that didn’t keep him from tightening the embrace and rocking his lover slowly.

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

Several months passed by and Erestor continued to grow weaker. His usually raven hair lost its luster and the chocolate eyes now stared into the world with a dull expression. Elrond was grieving and so was Erestor.

 

Haldir grew more frustrated with every day. Most of the time he was unable to reach Erestor, who simply stared at him.

 

And then more ill tidings reached them. Celebrian had finally made the decision to sail for Aman. Haldir had seen Celeborn weep for the first time in his life, when the Lord of ‘Lorien had heard that news, but when he had looked at Galadriel, the guardian had found her eyes dry and cold, which had caused him to shiver.

 

He worried most about Erestor, of course. His lover had become a mere shadow of his former self.

 

When Galadriel finally approached him, Haldir realized he had to be extremely careful around her.

 

“Haldir, I have new orders for you.” Galadriel tried to act regally and composed, but inwardly she seethed. Her original plans had been sabotaged by her husband and she had to adjust her plans.

 

”Aye, my Lady.” As required, Haldir bowed respectfully.

 

“Now that my daughter is on her way to Aman, Elrond expressed the wish to visit us for a while. He is grieving and growing weaker every day.”

 

“I regret hearing that,” Haldir forced the words past his teeth, while thinking, /And do you ever think of Erestor, who is growing weaker as well?/

 

“I want Erestor moved to a talan closer to Elrond’s temporary quarters.” She had already changed her plans and would make certain her will would be done eventually. “After you have done that, you will return to your duties, which you have neglected these last few months. I want you to patrol the borders and drive away the Orcs that dare approach our lands.”

 

Haldir’s eyes narrowed with suspicion. /She is sending me away so I cannot protect him!/

 

“Elrond will arrive in the morning so I suggest you hurry.” Galadriel gave him a triumphant look, gathered her skirts and swept around, almost floating out of the room.

 

Haldir glared at her back. /You might be able to send me away, but Rumil, Orophin and Camfael will watch Erestor in my place./ But he would have preferred guarding Erestor against Galadriel personally.

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

Erestor barely reacted when Galadriel’s servants came to move him to his new talan. He didn’t object and meekly followed them. His mind was entangled too deeply in Elrond’s pain and it was nearly impossible to focus on what was happening around him.

 

“Erestor? Melethwain-nín?” Haldir knelt in front of Erestor and gathered the cold hands in his. Looking at the still form seated in the comfortable chair, his heart contracted painfully. He had even briefly entertained the idea of taking Erestor away from here, but had quickly realized Galadriel would never allow that. She had even assigned her personal guards to watch Erestor’s every move.

 

“Haldir.” Erestor managed a weak smile. He had hoped his lover would seek him out before leaving for the borders again. He weakly squeezed Haldir’s fingers, letting the guardian know how much he appreciated his lover’s presence. “Be careful out there.”

 

Haldir’s heart missed a beat. “Do not worry about me, lirimaer. It is you who must be careful. Now that I will be away, Galadriel will move in. Be very alert and do not agree to anything she proposes. Contact Celeborn when she makes unreasonable demands. Celeborn is on your side.”

 

“That is good to know,” mumbled Erestor weakly, but he doubted Celeborn would openly oppose his wife. He would keep Haldir’s advice in mind, however. “Please return to me quickly. I need you, Haldir.”

 

Haldir nodded once, and new determination was born in his eyes. He would find a way to hurry back to Erestor’s side.

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

Erestor shivered with discomfort when Galadriel entered the room. His instincts had told him to expect her, and he forced himself to rise from his chair, bowing his head in respect. “My Lady.”

 

Galadriel studied him with a cold and distant expression in her blue eyes. She only felt loathing for him. She positioned herself opposite him, her hands hidden in her long sleeves. “Elrond has arrived.”

 

“I know that. I can sense his closeness.” Erestor forced himself to maintain eye contact, even though the hatred was obvious in her orbs. “He is grieving.”

 

Galadriel knew she couldn’t allow him to address Celebrian. She was grieving for her daughter herself and she couldn’t show any weakness when dealing with Erestor. “Your healing abilities are needed once more.”

 

Erestor laughed embittered, not caring what she thought of his reaction. “Do you not mean that I have to reconfirm the bond by letting him claim me?” The amount of healing energy that such a union would create would strengthen Elrond immensely. “I am no fool, my Lady. During my years of confinement I had enough time to ponder my future and I always knew it would come to this.”

 

Galadriel’s expression hardened. “You agreed to this.”

 

“When I agreed to it, I had no idea I would conceive and lose my babies!” Erestor exploded with emotion, uncaring about the consequences. “You have lost your daughter… Can you now imagine how I felt when I lost my babies?”

 

Galadriel’s eyes shot daggers. “Do not dare to compare my daughter to your bastards!”

 

Erestor’s eyes widened and he staggered, collapsing onto the chair. “My bastards? Elrond is my mate! They were conceived and born into a marriage you never allowed to be completed!”

 

Galadriel stalked toward him. “You will stop this nonsense. I did not come here to listen to you rave. Tonight, one of my guards will take you to Elrond and you will make sure he remains on Arda. Elrond Half-Elven will be instrumental in defeating Sauron when the dark one decides to return. You will do as you are told.”

 

Erestor just stared at her in shock. “And what when I conceive again?” He recalled the pain he had been in when Elrond had claimed him after the Battle of the Last Alliance, but it didn’t compare to his agony when he had lost his children. He would go to Elrond and allow the half-Elf to bed him because he had agreed to this pact millennia ago, but he was not willing to face another miscarriage.

 

“I do not care if you conceive,” said Galadriel, leaning in closer and placing her hands on the armrests at either side of Erestor’s body. “I do not care if your babies live or die. My goal is to ensure Elrond’s survival.”

 

“You are ruthless.” Erestor flinched beneath her icy glare.

 

“Do not cross me, Erestor. If you do, you will learn the meaning of true torment.”

 

Erestor lifted his large eyes to meet with hers. “I lost two sons… I already know the meaning of true torment.”

 

Galadriel’s eyes flared. “You only think you do.”

Those words froze the blood in his veins.

 

“You will go to Elrond and submit to him. And you will continue to do that as many times as necessary for Elrond to find his strength again. Do you understand?”

 

Erestor swallowed hard and then nodded. “I understand.” He watched her leave the room and felt immensely relieved when she was out of his sight.

 

“Nienna, please help me,” he whispered a plea to the Vala of sorrow. He wouldn’t survive losing another baby.

 

TBC

 

Beta read by Sulien.

All remaining mistakes are mine.

 

Heart in Chains

Part 15

 

 

Erestor sat quietly near the fireplace, watching the flames dance. None of the other elements ever seemed so alive to him, as flames. Fire seemed to have a life – and a will – of its own.

 

“The Lady Galadriel sent me,” said one of Galadriel’s personal guards, announcing his presence. He had already cleared his throat in the hope to attract Erestor’s attention, but the other Elf had ignored him.

 

Shaken from his musings, Erestor tiredly pushed himself to his feet. “I am ready.” He had tried to mentally prepare himself for the pain that would follow shortly, but had failed. He was tense, slightly afraid and he basically didn’t want to do this. But he also realized he had little choice. “I will follow you.” He gathered his black cloak around him and stared at the guard.

 

The guard frowned, seeing large, chocolate eyes in a sea of blue. Had his Lady rubbed blue paint onto Erestor’s brow? He had seen it once before; at Galadriel and Celeborn’s wedding to be precise. It had been the Lord of the Golden Wood’s brown that had been blue back then. He knew it had a certain ceremonial, maybe even spiritual, meaning, but that was a secret that had remained undisclosed to him. And now Erestor was wearing it as well.

 

Erestor forced his nervousness into a distant corner of his mind. He consoled himself with the thought that at least now he knew what to expect. The first time Elrond had claimed him had been a shocking experience to him.

 

Following the guard, Erestor hid his features in the shadow of his hood. He sensed a presence and looked up into the talan, and found Galadriel standing there, her face utterly expressionless. The sight of her caused shivers to run down his back and he quickly averted his eyes.

 

“This is where Lord Elrond is staying,” said the guard. “We distracted Lord Glorfindel and will make sure you won’t be interrupted tonight.”

 

Glorfindel of Gondolin. The reborn Balrog Slayer had accompanied Elrond here, then. Erestor had met him once before, only briefly, but the azure eyes had radiated kindness back then. He nodded, affirming he had heard and understood, and then opened the door to soundlessly make his way inside.

 

The door was closed behind him and he drew in a deep breath, finding Elrond asleep on the bed. Galadriel had probably given him a sleeping potion so the half-Elf wouldn’t be completely lucid when claiming him. For one moment he asked himself if Elrond had ever wondered about the night in which they had bound. Did the Peredhel think of it as a dream or was Elrond convinced it had really happened? /Even if he believes it happened, he never tried to find me./

 

Releasing the breath that he had involuntarily been holding, he walked toward the bed. With a single movement from his hand, he undid the belt and let his robes and cloak slide down his body. Looking at Elrond, he wondered why the half-Elf had hurt him so badly that first time… Would history repeat itself? Would he end up torn and bleeding again? /Asking myself these questions is pointless. I had better do this now. Then, I can return to my rooms and wait there for Haldir./

 

He knelt on the bed. The movement made Elrond stir and the gray eyes half-opened. The misty expression in them told him that Galadriel had indeed drugged Elrond. “Everything will be all right in the end.” Even though Elrond had caused him pain in the past, he couldn’t help but reach out now. Millennia ago he had promised Elwing to take care of the twins. He had lost Elros to mortality, but at least Elrond was still alive.

 

“Celebrian?”

 

Elrond sounded confused and Erestor instantly soothed him. “Nay, I am not Celebrian.” Still kneeling, he waited for Elrond to act.

 

And act the half-Elf did. “Ereinion?”

 

Elrond unexpectedly sat up and grabbed Erestor which a force he didn’t expect. Erestor yielded at once, knowing that struggling would only increase the pain. He forced himself to remain motionless when Elrond laid him down on his back, forcing his legs apart with a knee. Tightly closing his eyes, he prepared himself for the invasive pain and hoped Elrond would finish quickly.

 

“I missed you, Ereinion. I thought you had left me. Thank you for visiting me in this dream.”

 

/A dream?/ So Elrond thought this was a dream? Erestor shivered, feeling Elrond’s probing fingers explore his body. Suddenly they focused on his nipples, teasing them into hardness. He gasped at the unexpected sensation and when a moist tongue played with them, he involuntarily arched his back.

 

“So eager. You always were eager, melme,” Elrond purred with a need that had to be met. “You are mine. You will never leave me again.”

 

Erestor’s eyes opened, startled, sensing the head of the half-Elf’s erection against his opening. “Nay, please…” He hadn’t wanted to beg, but memories of pain, tearing and bleeding made him go rigid. If Elrond took him now, the half-Elf would certainly injure him.

 

“What is amiss, Ereinion? You never stopped me before.”

 

Erestor held his breath, as Elrond searched his eyes and he quickly closed them, stopping the half-Elf from imprinting them in his memory. Galadriel would be furious if he didn’t play his part. /But the pain… I remember it too clearly!/

 

Elrond suddenly shifted atop of him, maneuvered him into the desired position and he found himself lying on the side of the bed. His feet were now planted firmly on the floor and Elrond slid his arms beneath his buttocks, lifting them slightly.

 

Erestor felt utterly exposed and vulnerably and opened his eyes, only to find Elrond kneeling on the floor. The half-Elf suddenly leaned in closer and the moist tip of the Peredhel’s tongue now teased against his opening. Elrond’s tongue danced against his entrance and suddenly dipped inside, making him cry out at the sensation, which was surprisingly pleasant. The other thing that completely stunned him was the fact that he had grown erect. His hard flesh stood proud and Erestor thought he would faint when Elrond’s fingers curled around it, stroking firmly. His fingers clawed at the sheet, hating himself for being this weak and helpless. But even more he hated himself for enjoying it.

 

Then Elrond’s talented tongue dipped deeply into his passage, leaving him whimpering softly. He was close to finding release and wondered if Elrond would make him come. Staring at Elrond in bewilderment, he read the half-Elf’s intent in his stormy eyes when the Peredhel pulled back.

 

“I apologize,” whispered Elrond in a sincere tone. “I thought you had prepared yourself for me, like you always do when we make love. I do not seem to have any oil, but I will be careful, I promise.”

 

Elrond’s words slightly reassured Erestor, who suddenly understood why the half-Elf had hurt him that first time. /He thought I had prepared myself. He never wanted to hurt me./

 

He wasn’t allowed more time to ponder this revelation, as Elrond pushed him back into the center of the bed. After kneeling on the bed, Elrond grabbed his hips, and pushed a pillow beneath them. Erestor swallowed hard, knowing what would come next. /By the Grace of the Valar, please let him finish quickly!/ He stared at the ceiling, bit his bottom lip and clawed at the pillow.

 

Suddenly Elrond’s fingers wrapped around his shaft, and continued to pump him. Soon, he was moaning softly, and in the throes of impending orgasm. This encounter was nothing like he had thought it would be!

 

When Elrond finally entered him, Erestor went limp and tried to relax, knowing it would hurt less that way. But Elrond still felt huge inside him and the half-Elf’s hard flesh caused a burning sensation deep inside him. At least Elrond was inching inside *slowly* and the pain was not as bad as it had been that first time.

 

“Meleth-nîn? Why are you this tense? Am I not pleasing you? I know you prefer to be taken hard, but I thought…”

 

“Hard?” Erestor gasped the moment Elrond completely sheathed himself. He was afraid to even draw in his next breath, but he had to say something! “I do not wish to be taken hard. Please be gentle with me.”

 

“As you wish, melamin.”

 

Erestor was doing his best to remain motionless and to relax his tense muscles, but was doing poorly. However, that changed when Elrond suddenly leaned in closer, somehow managing to claim his lips and engaging his tongue in a sensual dance.

 

Elrond thrust for the first time and Erestor groaned into the other’s mouth. The burning sensation grew worse and tears were beginning to build in his eyes.

 

“Melme? I can feel your distress. What am I doing wrong?” Elrond was at a loss. Ereinion had never reacted like this before when they had made love!

 

“Do not stop… Continue!” Erestor hissed the words, eager to get this ordeal over with. His member had softened and tears flowed down his face.

 

“Nay…” Elrond had no idea what was wrong, but although his need to find release was overwhelming, he wanted to please his lover as well. “I won’t leave you behind.”

 

Erestor was taken aback, feeling Elrond’s lips close over his. The passion in the kiss which Elrond delivered to him surprised him and he found himself reacting, kissing the half-Elf back. Agile fingers were coaxing him back to hardness and when the next thrust came, Elrond timed it with the stroke which he delivered to his erection.

 

Erestor’s eyes almost bulged from their sockets, feeling impending orgasm built in him and he buried one hand in Elrond’s dark mane. During the next moments his world narrowed to their lovemaking and he instinctively met Elrond’s next thrust by arching his back. Soon, they had established a rhythm and Erestor was moving along with Elrond, lifting his hips to meet the Peredhel half way. A few more firm strokes delivered to his shaft pushed him toward ecstasy. Unable to hold back, he bit down on Elrond’s bottom lip when he reached orgasm.

 

Elrond surrendered to the divine sensation of Erestor’s inner muscle contracting around his throbbing member. As his lover was suckling on his bleeding lip, he was careful not to move his head, but he managed to deliver one last stroke, which catapulted him to orgasm as well. Buried deeply inside his lover, he released his seed.

 

Erestor finally released the bleeding lip and stared at Elrond in disbelief. The half-Elf had brought him to orgasm, had not left him behind, just as he had promised. But why? /He thinks you are Ereinion,/ supplied the rational part of his mind that was still functioning. /He loved Ereinion./

 

“Stay with me, meleth-nîn. Do not leave me alone again,” pleaded Elrond in a heartbreaking tone. “I need you here with me, even if you are only a dream.” In order to make sure that he wouldn’t be left alone, he wrapped his arms and legs around the Elf beneath him. His sated flesh had left the other’s body and he now snuggled up to him.

 

Erestor wasn’t sure what to make of Elrond’s request and simply remained motionless. That tactic had served him well tonight. Releasing the fabric he had been clawing at, he placed his hands on Elrond’s lower back, which was the only place he could easily reach. His connection to the half-Elf told him that Elrond was falling fast asleep and he called upon his last strength, letting it flow into the half-Elf’s mind and body, losing consciousness in the process.

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

An hour later, Erestor finally woke, finding that Elrond was still resting atop of him. The Peredhel had cuddled up to him and was subconsciously rubbing his shoulder. The small, affectionate gesture took him aback. /Oh, I could have loved you,/ he realized that instant.

 

Elrond mumbled something unintelligible, which urged Erestor into action, realizing the half-Elf would wake up shortly. Briefly he rebelled against his fate. Why couldn’t he stay here and reveal himself to Elrond? Maybe the half-Elf would accept him in his life?

 

/Galadriel will never allow it./

 

Erestor wriggled away from underneath Elrond and rolled away from the half-Elf. Experimentally he sat up. Although he felt sore, the pain he had felt that first time remained absent. Elrond had been careful not to tear him, for which he was grateful.

 

Seeing Elrond shiver, Erestor reacted instinctively by covering him with a warm blanket. It would take Elrond some time to recover from losing his wife, but the Peredhel was strong and would overcome his grief. He just hoped he didn’t have to be intimate with Elrond ever again. Although he had enjoyed their mating, he still worried about another pregnancy. What if he had conceived? Elrond had found release inside his body, so it was possible he had conceived. But only time would tell if he was with child – or children – again.

 

Erestor slowly pushed himself to his feet after gathering his robes and slipped into them. He draped his cloak over his shoulders and gingerly made his way over to the doorway. Looking back over his shoulder, he wished Elrond loved him as much as the half-Elf had loved Ereinion.

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

Once Erestor had returned to his room, he went into the bathroom to clean himself up. After slipping into a soft nightshirt, he made his way over to his bed, where he curled up on his side. Still feeling sore, he wished Haldir were here to ease the burden he was forced to carry, but he wasn’t sure the guardian would still want anything to do with him once Haldir found out he had allowed Elrond to bed him -- again.

 

Involuntarily his hand settled over his abdomen. /Did I conceive? And if I did, will I lose this little one as well?/ Galadriel had already told him she didn’t care about his ‘bastards’, but what about Elrond? Wouldn’t the half-Elf want to know he had fathered and lost twins? /But do I really want to burden him with that knowledge? They died and there is nothing he can do about it. Telling him would not be fair./

 

“Erestor? Lirimaer?” Haldir, who had hurried back to his lover’s side, startled at seeing Erestor’s body language. He had sneaked away from camp and had to return within the hour, but he had to make sure Erestor was well and safe.

 

“Haldir?” Erestor’s eyes opened, revealing his shock. Staring into the march warden’s hazel eyes, he was overcome by shame and quickly looked away.

 

Haldir’s heart clenched with pain, finding Erestor averting his gaze. “Aiya, nay… Do not tell me she hurt you again.” He sat down on the side of the bed and waited for Erestor to make eye contact with him. When the chocolate eyes finally met his, he read the truth in them. “She forced you to lay with him.”

 

“She did not force me,” whispered Erestor in a broken tone, wondering if he had lost Haldir’s love. “It was the only way.” Seeing Haldir’s skeptic look, he explained, “When Elrond is in pain, I am in pain. When he grieves, I grieve. When he begins to fade, I begin to fade. Reaffirming this bond was the only way to stop his grief from becoming worse and dragging me under with him. When he feels stronger, I feel stronger.”

 

Haldir finally understood. “You could no longer bear the pain.”

 

“I had the choice between continuing to live this half life or to submit to Elrond and empower him. By doing that, I empowering myself. I will endure the pain and humiliation of being claimed because it makes me stronger in the end.” Erestor hoped against all odds that Haldir understood why he had let Elrond take him. “But…”

 

“But what?” Haldir raised an eyebrow.

 

“I might have to do ‘it’ again in the future. I do not know if this one time was enough to strengthen Elrond sufficiently.”

 

Haldir gnashed his teeth at hearing that, recalling the state Elrond had left Erestor in millennia ago. “Let me check on you.”

 

“He was gentle this time,” said Erestor between clenched teeth. “He did not make me bleed.”

 

“I need to see for myself,” said Haldir determinedly. “I would not put it beyond you to play this down whilst you are hurting.”

 

Erestor knew better than to fight Haldir on this. “Then convince yourself.” Reminding himself that he trusted the silver-haired Elf unconditionally, he allowed Haldir to examine his lower body.

 

Haldir was relieved to find no blood clinging to Erestor’s thighs. “Erestor, I wish I could stay, but I have to return to camp.”

 

“Go, then,” whispered Erestor in understanding. “Galadriel may try to keep you away from me, but I carry you inside my heart.”

 

Touched by Erestor’s words, Haldir leaned in closer and brushed the raven-haired Elf’s already bruised lips. “Elrond had better be gentle with you. He will answer to me if he is not and I do not care if Galadriel approves of that or not. I promised to protect you.”

 

Erestor raised his right hand and caressed Haldir’s face. “I know you will always look out for me.”

 

Haldir regretted the fact that he had to leave, but after placing one last kiss on Erestor’s brow, he pushed himself to his feet and resolutely left the room. He would use every opportunity that presented itself to sneak back to Erestor.

 

Still feeling Haldir’s lips pressed against his brow, Erestor snuggled deeper beneath the blankets and quickly drifted off into reverie.

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

The next morning, Galadriel visited with Elrond, as she was eager to find out if the half-Elf was improving. Her guard had reported to her that Erestor had gone to Elrond and had returned in a rather rumpled state, which led her to believe that he had kept his part of the bargain.

 

“Good morning,” she said calmly, careful to hide her curiosity. Studying Elrond, she found that her son in law looked rumpled as well. He was constantly fussing over his bottom lip, which for some elusive reason was bleeding. But he did look better than when she had left him last night.

 

“Good morning,” said Elrond slowly, blinking his eyes.

 

“You look troubled. Is anything amiss?” Galadriel seated herself next to the window from where she could effortlessly observe him.

 

“Lots is amiss,” whispered Elrond absentmindedly. Should he confide in her? Could he? He had known her for millennia and she had become dear to him. In some ways he looked upon Celeborn and Galadriel as the parents he had never known. Elwing and Eärendil were only vague memories to him.

 

“Then why do you not tell me?” suggested Galadriel carefully. “Maybe I can help?”

 

“I doubt it,” sighed Elrond, distressed. He looked over at her from where he was sitting on the bed. “I am at a loss to what happened last night.”

 

Galadriel raised an eyebrow and feigned ignorance. “What do you think happened, then?”

 

“I… I had a visitor.” Elrond frowned, shook his head, but failed to clear it from the cobwebs. “”Tis happened before… Three millennia ago.”

 

Galadriel knew she had to tread carefully. “What did? I hope you know you can tell me everything that troubles you. I will never betray your trust. You are very dear to me, Elrond.” So dear that she had sacrificed Erestor to keep him alive.

 

“Someone made love to me last night…” Elrond blinked again. “At first I thought it was my wife, but the dark hair and masculine form led me to believe Ereinion had returned to me, so I dismissed it as a dream.”

 

“But?” Galadriel was growing worried. The potion should have led Elrond to believe it was Ereinion, his long lost lover, but it seemed the drug hadn’t been strong enough.

 

“It was not him. I know the way his body moves beneath me. This was a stranger and yet…”

 

“What?” Galadriel carefully hid her agitation. What had Erestor done? Had he found a way to manipulate her in turn?

 

“He was scared of me. I did not realize that at first, but he was not trembling due to passion, but because he was afraid of me. He…” Elrond strained his memory. “He begged me not to hurt him and to be gentle instead.”

 

“You had a very vivid dream, then,” said Galadriel, hoping to convince Elrond it had just been a dream.

 

“Nay, not a dream. And it was not a dream three millennia ago either.”

 

“And what leads you to that conclusion?”

 

“There was blood,” said Elrond, meeting her gaze, and wondering about the expression in those blue orbs. “Whoever made love with me was inexperienced and I tore him… badly. I still feel guilty for doing that to him. If only I knew who he was.”

 

“Probably someone who had learned of your grief for the High-King and wanted to take advantage of that. And last night most certainly was a dream. There are guards posted at your door and they would have alarmed us if there had been an intruder.” Galadriel rose from the chair and moved toward him. She rested a hand on his shoulder and then said, “It was a dream, Elrond, and nothing more.”

 

For some reason Elrond’s instincts kicked in, warning him not to object and he nodded, pretending to believe her. “Aye, it probably was just a dream.”

 

“Try to rest today,” said Galadriel as she made her way to the doorway. “When night falls, I will bring you more of that sleeping potion, but I will make it less potent this time.”

 

Elrond watched her leave the room, and realized she was keeping something from him. He had known her long enough to read her like an open book. Now that a problem presented itself, he momentarily forgot about Celebrian. /I wonder what secret she is keeping./

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

Erestor had wrapped himself up in warm blankets and allowed Orophin to fuss over him. When the silver-haired Elf had joined him shortly after sunrise, Orophin had seemed shocked, finding him pale and skinny. Orophin hadn’t seen him for weeks as he had been out patrolling constantly.

 

“Erestor, you need to eat.” Orophin reached for Erestor’s thin fingers and wrapped them around the bowl of soup, which he had fetched from the kitchens. “You are not taking care of yourself.”

 

Erestor gave him a long, loving glance. “Why are you here, Orophin? You are tired yourself. You just returned from an exhausting patrol and should be sleeping instead.”

 

“I worry about you,” admitted Orophin in a soft tone. He cleared his throat and nervously shuffled his feet. “I heard Elrond Half-Elven is here.”

 

Erestor reluctantly sipped his soup, knowing Orophin wouldn’t leave him alone until he had eaten something. “You heard correctly, then.”

 

“Is it happening again?” asked the silver-haired sentry, unexpectedly probing Erestor’s chocolate eyes. “Did he hurt you again? Is that why you are… in this way?”

 

Sighing, Erestor realized he had to be honest with the sentry. “Orophin, you know I am bound to Elrond. Why are you asking these things when you already know the answer?”

 

“He did hurt you!” exclaimed Orophin, indignantly.

 

Releasing another sigh, Erestor shook his head. “He did not hurt me. I went to him willingly.” /And I will allow him to bed me again tonight./ His connection to Elrond told him that the half-Elf still needed him. Hopefully, it would be the last time ever he had to submit to the Peredhel.

 

Orophin shook his head. “”Tis not fair.”

Erestor agreed. “You are right; ‘tis not fair.”

 

“What if…” Orophin was afraid to finish the sentence, not wanting to worry Erestor if the raven-haired Elf hadn’t thought about it himself.

 

“What if I conceive again?” finished Erestor for him.

 

Orophin nodded, worried. “I saw the way you retreated into yourself when you lost them.”

 

“I do not know if I will survive losing another one. I pray to Elbereth I won’t conceive again.” But in the pit of his stomach, he felt queasy, afraid he was already pregnant.

 

TBC

 

Beta read by Sulien.

All remaining mistakes are mine.

 

Heart in Chains

Part 16

 

 

“You should drink this now,” advised Galadriel softly. “Then you will fall asleep within the hour.” She had returned to Elrond’s room when Ithil had appeared and was now trying to convince the half-Elf to drink the sleeping potion.

 

“I will do so in a moment,” said Elrond, stretching slowly. The progress he had made since this morning was amazing. Gone were most of his negative emotions. Although he still longed to be reunited with Celebrian, the shattering grief had faded and instead curiosity had appeared. Except for Glorfindel, who had hovered close all day long -- and whom he had ignored -- everyone had left him alone. It had given him an opportunity to ponder everything that had happened last night… and *that* night three millennia ago.

 

Someone had come to his room last night and had given himself to him. Now that he concentrated, he remembered the fears that had echoed in the other Elf’s voice and he flashed back to that night after the Battle of the Last Alliance. Back then he had been convinced Ereinion had returned to him, but the next morning cruel realization had set in. The blood that had clung to his flaccid member and the stained sheets had told him he had taken an inexperienced Elf, and had taken him hard, without proper preparation. Even three thousand years later, he still felt guilty for using someone in that way.

 

Later, once he had regained his wits, he had questioned Glorfindel and Cirdan. They had told him about the healer’s visit and the next time he had met Celeborn and Galadriel, he had questioned them, but they had simply said that the healer had worked his art and that the rest had been due to his feverish dreams. /But there was blood. I did not imagine that./ Realizing they wouldn’t volunteer more information, he had stopped asking.

 

Then last night had happened and now Galadriel was urging him to drink that sleeping potion again. Well, he wasn’t going to do it. “I appreciate it that you are taking care of me, Galadriel, and I am sure you will understand that I want to rest now. And aye, I will drink that sleeping potion you prepared.”

 

Realizing she was being dismissed, Galadriel had no other choice than to move toward the doorway. “I will see you in the morning, then.”

 

“Aye, you will.” Elrond waited for her to close the door behind her and then stared at the sleeping potion. “I want to know what this is all about and I won’t find out when drugged.” Elrond took hold of the crystal flask and emptied its content in the sink. He wanted to be clear-headed should his mysterious Elf return tonight.

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

Elrond had positioned himself in the center of his bed. His head rested on an arm, which he had folded beneath his brow, giving him an excellent view of the door. He hoped the dark-haired Elf would return tonight, for he wanted his questions answered. Elrond also realized he had to act carefully, and in order not to chase his visitor away, he would pretend to be drugged.

 

Long hours passed by until the door knob was finally turned and the door opened. Through the slits of his eyes, he carefully studied his mysterious visitor, who was wearing a long, black cloak, which hid his form and features. The other Elf seemed to briefly hesitate, but then closed the door softly behind him. Now that the other was advancing on him, the stranger dropped the cloak. The dark robes were next and Elrond’s eyes narrowed, seeing the too thin body. Long, dark hair danced against the other Elf’s lower back and large, chocolate eyes were afloat in a sea of blue. The paint briefly confused him, making it impossible for him to identify the Elf standing in front of him. When his visitor knelt on the bed, Elrond caught a hint of fear in the huge, doe-like eyes. /He is still afraid of me./ Remaining motionless, he waited for the other Elf to make his first move.

 

“You seem better today. I worried about you. I am sorry that I am so weak and could not spare you more healing energy last night. I will try to do better tonight. Our last night together.”

 

Elrond stopped himself from frowning, hearing those words, which were uttered in a sad and abandoned tone. He wished he didn’t have to pretend being drugged, as for some reason he wanted to envelop the other in a tight hug.

 

“I had better get this over with. That way you can make a full recovery and return to your family, which will surely miss you.”

 

/He cares for me -- deeply --./ Elrond considered the way he had acted last night and knew he couldn’t deviate too much or else he would scare this caring soul away. He didn’t want to, but in the end, he whispered, “Ereinion, you are here again.” He caught the shivers that coursed through the raven-haired Elf’s body and realized he wanted to get to know this Elf, who for some reason continued to sneak into his bed.

 

“Aye, I am here now, Elrond. You can let go. Take what you need from me.”

 

Unexpectedly, a hand cupped the side of his face, rubbing gentle fingertips against his skin. Elrond briefly startled at the tingling sensation that now seeped into his skin, but when the energy surged through his body, he finally realized what was really going on. /He is a true healer and is giving me his life energy!/ But how was that possible? The few documented cases he had encountered had said that a tight bond was necessary between the healer and his patient for this to work. /Aiya, by the Grace of the Valar, he has been giving me –his patient – his life energy for how long? Did this really start three millennia? Does this mean…/ His thoughts raced! /Does this mean we are bound? But nay, I would know if I were bound to someone. No one would accept a half-formed bond; it would leave him weak as he cannot draw strength from me in turn./

 

Studying the other Elf, Elrond saw the gaunt features, sunken, dark-rimmed eyes and the too thin body. /By Elbereth, is that what happened three millennia ago? Did he bind himself to me?/ It would explain the blood on his lips and the fact that they’d had intercourse. /But why would someone agree to such a half-life?/

 

“Elrond, is anything amiss?”

 

The raven-haired Elf sounded troubled, and Elrond suddenly realized what was wrong. /He expects me to claim him and thus reconfirm the bond./ If he didn’t make love to the other Elf, his mysterious stranger would realize something was wrong and flee. That was something he had to avoid at all cost. “Nothing is amiss. Everything is right now.” Elrond kept his eyes half-open, hoping to assure the other Elf that he was duly drugged. “Come here.” Reaching for the stranger, he pulled him atop of him. The confused look the other Elf gave him made it hard for him to pretend not noticing his distress. And his body reacted instinctively to having the other Elf close. He was quickly growing erect and he wanted to bury his visitor in a tight hug, which he promptly did. “I want to hold you… Ereinion,” he forced that name passed his teeth, when in reality he desperately wanted to know who he was holding in his arms.

 

“Then hold me…”

 

Elrond cocked his head and tried to keep his expression unfocused when he looked at the trembling Elf in his arms. When he tried hard, he could detect the other’s energy floating into his mind. Even now, the raven-haired Elf was strengthening him. /The healing bond is firmly in place. And it is old. Aye, it was created three millennia ago./ Running his hands down the shaking Elf’s back, he tried to soothe him. “I longed to hold you again.”

The stranger swallowed hard, and fascinated, Elrond watched his Adam ’s apple bob nervously. “Shst, I am being gentle with you, am I not? Just as you requested last night.”

 

“Aye, you were gentle with me. Thank you for that.”

 

The other Elf’s nervousness now began to show clearly, as he shifted uncomfortably atop of him, clearly trying to avoid contact with his aroused flesh. In that moment Elrond realized another truth. “I want you.”

 

“I know you do. Take me, then. As you said last night, I am yours.”

 

Elrond was startled, briefly, realizing the other was dead serious. /Aye, the bond binds him to me. He is mine, but I am not his./ Elrond allowed for one hand to tangle in the dark mane. /His energy is flowing into my fëa, not leaving much behind to sustain him. He is in this weakened state because of me./ Curling his fingers around a strand of the other’s Elf’s hair, he gently forced him to lean in closer. Elrond claimed his lips, which tasted bittersweet and… salty? /He has been crying./ That seemed so wrong and he desperately wanted to soothe the other Elf’s pain away. “Trust yourself to me. I will be gentle.”

 

The raven-haired Elf nodded shakily and Elrond proceeded to gently roll him onto his back. The long legs parted automatically and the thin fingers instantly clawed at the sheet. His bed partner was tense and rigid and the chocolate eyes closed, doubtlessly expecting pain. Knowing words wouldn’t reassure him, Elrond soothed with kisses instead. He started by exploring the sweet mouth, and the taste sparkled memories. He had tasted this raven-haired Elf before. /I was right all along./ It was a good thing that he hadn’t drunk Galadriel’s potion, for then he would never have fully realized the truth!

 

The mysterious Elf squirmed beneath him, but not due to passion. The doe-like eyes had reopened and revealed all fears. Elrond’s hands now joined in his effort to relax his bed partner. Gently, he explored all the area’s that made the other moan and found that the raven-haired grew erect when he licked the back of his knees. He could tell that the tension was slowly leaving the other Elf’s body and his partner was beginning to relax. “I will make this good for you.” He wanted to make it up to him for that first time, when he had hurt him so badly.

 

Seeing the other Elf bite his bottom lip, he was reminded of the way his temporary lover had suckled his bottom lip until it had bled. He was passionate then, this trembling Elf.

 

Elrond straddled the narrow hips and set to explore the other’s body in depth, taking his time. The hard nipples were a true delight to suckle and the raven-haired Elf reacted to this manipulation by raising his hips. /He does want this, but he is scared./ Elrond couldn’t blame him for being afraid, considering the way he had hurt his bed partner that first time.

 

The large, dark eyes had closed again and his head was turned away. It was obvious his mysterious lover expected to be taken now, and taken hard. Elrond smiled sorrowfully, now that the other’s eyes were closed, and reached for the phial of oil that he had placed near his bed earlier. He had hoped – almost expected – the other to return to him tonight. 

 

He regretted having to stop rolling one hard nipple between his fingertips, but he had to remove the stopper. After letting a generous amount of oil flow into the palm of his hand, he wrapped his slick fingers around the other’s hard flesh. The chocolate eyes instantly opened and soft, begging groans escaped bruised lips. /I meant it when I said I was going to make this good for you./ Elrond stroked the hard flesh in his hand and blanketed the other Elf so he could reclaim those soft lips.

 

Once he judged his partner was sufficiently relaxed, he removed his hand, added more oil and then crawled downward, until he could kneel between the other’s legs. He regretted that the large eyes had closed, but he respected that. Placing one finger near the tight entrance of the raven-haired Elf’s body, he began to gently massage the tense guardian ring. /I really must have hurt him that first time for him to be this tense now./ Leaning in closer, he continued the preparing massage, but now also showered the Elf’s inner thighs with light kisses, which drew soft moans. When he was finally convinced his partner was relaxing after all, he inserted his digit into the tight heat.

 

The raven-haired Elf emitted a pleading mew, but Elrond couldn’t be sure if it was because he needed more stimulation or if he was trying to make him stop. Instinctively, he cupped the other’s sac and rolled it through his palm, making him moan more loudly. Wriggling his digit inside the tight passage, he then removed it, added more oil and returned with two, which he slowly inserted. “There is no reason to be this tense. I won’t hurt you,” he said, hoping to reassure his mysterious lover.

 

But the dark eyes remained closed and the fingers continued to cling to the rumpled sheet. Sighing his disappointment, Elrond bowed down and licked at the slit, which was already slick with beads of pre-ejaculate. /I won’t hurt you, I promise./ He just had to work harder to please his lover. Relaxing his throat, he took Erestor deeply. He ran his tongue along the length and suckled gently. The raven-haired Elf thrust unexpectedly and Elrond took that as a sign to add another finger. Moving them inside the warm glove, he carefully prepared his partner.

 

“Oh, what… are you…doing to me?”

 

Elrond grinned, let the aroused flesh slip from his mouth and blew gently at the enflamed head.

 

“Aiya, you…”

 

His mysterious lover was now purring with pleasure and Elrond deemed the time ready to complete their union. Already positioned between the long legs, he guided them further apart and then began to inch inside, slowly. He had hoped the doe-like eyes would open again, but they didn’t. Instead the other’s brow grew knitted with concentration. Encountering resistance because his lover was still rather tense, he stopped regularly to allow him to adjust to the invasive feeling. “It will get better, I promise.” Once Elrond felt his partner relax further, he continued to bury himself in the tight passage until he was completely sheathed. Realizing the raven-haired Elf still expected to be badly hurt, he forced himself to remain motionless. “Please try to enjoy this. I want to pleasure you.” A nod from the dark-haired head told him the other had heard, but he doubted his temporary lover believed him. Aiming his first thrust, he smiled warmly, as his hard flesh nudged against the other’s prostate.

 

“Ai!” The eyes finally opened and stared at him in wonder.

 

“I will take you with me…” Elrond set a gentle rhythm, making sure he continued to hit the sensitive gland inside his lover’s passage. Suddenly growing tired of the position they were in, Elrond pushed his arms beneath the Elf’s back, and began to pull him into an upright position. The confusion and surprise that shone back at him, made him smile. After guiding the long legs around his waist, he placed his lover’s arms around his neck. Supporting him, he waited for the dark-haired Elf to acquire a more comfortable position. Staring into the wide eyes, he gently thrust upwards, hoping the other Elf understood he could control the speed and depth of the thrusts if he wanted to. But sheer disbelief and confusion stared back at him and Elrond realized exercising control was the last thing on his partner’s mind. So he continued the slow and gentle rhythm, making sure he wasn’t thrusting too deeply as he didn’t want to hurt him. Slowly, building their orgasm, he took his lover to the edge. When warm cream splashed against his belly, and inner muscles contracted around him, Elrond let go as well. Involuntarily, he bit into his lover’s shoulder, then realized what he was doing and licked the small wound he had created.

 

Clinging to his mysterious lover, he tightened his embrace and held him close. “Oh, my, that was…” Lost for words, Elrond guided the other Elf’s head onto his shoulder. He could sense the energy their lovemaking had created and was slightly shocked to feel it flow into his body and soul. /Not all of it. You need some to sustain yourself as well!/ But saying that would give him away and he remained silent instead. He could render this later, once he had found out this Elf’s identity.

 

His sated member slipped out of the now slick passage and he tenderly laid his lover down, curling himself around him. “Rest now.” The thin body was shaking with tremors and Elrond soothingly stroked the long, damp hair. “You are safe with me.”

 

A healing sleep was sneaking up on him, making it harder for Elrond to remain alert. Slowly, he drifted off into reverie, but he maintained his tight hold on the other Elf. His last thought before falling asleep was; /I will find out who you are and why you are doing this./

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

Stunned and confused, Erestor reluctantly freed himself of Elrond’s comforting embrace. He would have loved to stay in those strong arms forever, but Elrond was not for him; Galadriel had made that very clear.

 

Elrond… Elrond had taken him by surprise. They had really made love this time. He had expected more discomfort and soreness, but none of it had come to pass. His body tingled with pleasure, and when he sat on the side of the bed, even the soreness was absent. /So this is how making love feels?/ He decided he liked it and wished there was a way for him to stay close to Elrond and to make love to him again.

 

/Nay, what is wrong with me for wanting that? Every time we make love I can conceive. I do not want to go through another pregnancy./ Elrond stirred beneath the blanket and Erestor reacted instinctively, soothing the half-Elf. A smile appeared on his face. “Thank you for giving me this. I will always cherish this memory, even when you were under the impression that you were making love to Ereinion.” No one could ever take this bittersweet memory away from him.

 

After bestowing a last kiss on Elrond’s brow, he dressed and reluctantly left the room. “I would love to stay with you, but I cannot. You will never be mine and thinking that you are, would mean deluding myself.”

 

Opening the door, he looked over his shoulder at Elrond, who was peacefully asleep. “I wish you well and I hope your children are enough reason for you to pick up your life again.” Wishing he could have stayed in Elrond’s arms, he gingerly stepped into the corridor. His skin crawled, finding Galadriel there waiting for him. Erestor instantly lowered his gaze, not wanting to defy her in any way. “I did as you ordered. Elrond is now strong enough to make a complete recovery.”

 

“Excellent. I won’t be needing your… ‘services’ any more, then.”

 

The way she spat the word at him made him feel cheap. /But I am not. Elrond is my bonded mate./ Forcing himself to reply, he said, “I will return to my talan, then.”

 

“Aye, stay clear from Elrond from this moment on. Now that he is on his way to recovery he needs to focus on himself and his family. That does not include you.”

 

Erestor’s eyes flared, enraged, but he made sure she didn’t see that expression. “As you wish.” Slowly, he shuffled away from her.

 

Once he was back in the safety of his rooms, he flung himself onto the bed, sobbing softly. His heart called out for Elrond and Haldir, but none of the Elves were close.

 

He was alone.

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

Celeborn had heard certain rumors, which he didn’t want to believe, and he had to convince himself that they weren’t true. So he sought out Erestor’s talan to talk to the dark-haired healer. “Erestor? May I enter?” He frowned, receiving strangled sobs for an answer and they urged him to open the door and enter.

 

Finding Erestor curled up on his bed and in tears, he quickly covered the distance that separated them. Uncertain what to do, he sat down on the side of the bed and reached out to stroke the long, dark hair. “Why are you weeping, Erestor?” He dreaded learning why.

 

“I do not know…” Erestor didn’t feel comfortable confiding in the Lord of the Golden Wood, not sure where Celeborn stood in this matter.

 

Celeborn’s probing eyes scanned the trembling body and he growled softly encountering the bite mark. “’Tis true, then.”

 

Hearing Celeborn’s angry tone, Erestor forced himself to stop crying and to calm down. After a long minute, he pushed himself into an upright position and gingerly met Celeborn’s eyes. “What is?”

 

“She ordered you into his bed again.” He hissed the words passed clenched teeth.

 

Erestor was growing tired of discussing this. “That is the way it is.”

 

Celeborn shook his head. “It should not be that way. I assume she drugged him before sending you to him?” He was well aware of his wife’s fondness of mixing potions.

 

“Aye, so he would not recognize me. Not that it matters. Elrond thinks I am Ereinion when I am with him in that way.” Erestor shrugged his shoulders and instantly regretted it, as the bite burned slightly.

 

“I will put a stop to this. She cannot continue to abuse you in this way!”

Erestor smiled weakly, realizing he did have a friend in Celeborn. “Do not trouble yourself. Elrond is on his way to recovery and can do without my physical closeness.”

 

“That does not matter,” said Celeborn determinedly. “Galadriel has to stop hurting you!”

 

“Thank you for caring, my Lord.”

 

Celeborn felt like he had failed Erestor, and wished there was a way he could help the hurting Elf right now. He would speak with Galadriel later. “Is there anything I can do…?” He let his voice trail off.

 

“Actually… there is,” whispered Erestor uncertainly. But could he actually ask the Lord of the Golden Wood ‘that’?

 

“What is it?” Celeborn inched closer to Erestor, noticing the bruised lips.

 

“Would you stay here tonight? I do not want to be alone and with Haldir and his brothers out on patrol, I do not have anyone I can ask…” He didn’t want to bother Camfael, fearing the healer’s reaction when he found out about him going to Elrond’s bed willingly.

 

“I will stay,” promised Celeborn softly. “Know I will keep you safe. Rest, then.” Seeing Erestor’s wavering expression he realized what the dark-haired was *really* asking him. “Move over, Erestor.”

 

Erestor swallowed hard, realizing Celeborn was actually going to do this. He moved over and watched as the Lord of the Golden Wood stretched beside him.

 

Celeborn raised an arm, signaling for Erestor to move even closer.

 

Lying face to face, Erestor complied and rested his cheek on Celeborn’s shoulder. “Thank you.” He needed to feel someone close, someone holding him and maybe, in his dreams, he could pretend it was Elrond holding him.

 

“You are welcome,” mumbled Celeborn, worried about Erestor’s fragile state. Completing the embrace, he hugged the dark-haired Elf close. “Sleep now.”

 

“Thank…you,” whispered Erestor, already falling asleep. Elrond had exhausted him.

 

Celeborn listened closely as Erestor’s breathing deepened and then evened out. He had to find a way to get Erestor away from Galadriel. She would never stop using him as she saw fit. /Maybe I can send Erestor to Imladris. Elrond is always eager to take in new healers./ At least in that way Erestor would be close to his mate.

 

Celeborn rubbed Erestor’s back, whilst his other hand rested on the sleeping Elf’s hip. A startling thought suddenly occurred to him. /What if he is with child again? What do I do, then?/ The more he thought about all possible scenarios, the more convinced he became that he had to get Erestor away from Galadriel. “I will find a way,” he vowed privately. If Erestor had truly conceived again, he would make sure there was no second miscarriage.

 

TBC

 

Beta read by Sulien.

All remaining mistakes are mine.

 

Heart in Chains

Part 17

 

 

“Glorfindel!”

 

Elrond roared loudly and the blond Elda quickly marched into the room. Yesterday, Elrond had ignored him and now the half-Elf was calling out for him? “Aye, I am here!” Panting slightly because he had been running, he stared at his old friend.

 

“Where were you last night?” Elrond, dressed in brown robes, glared at his friend.

 

“Some of the Galadhrim asked me to join them and I accepted, as you seemed irritated by my presence.” Glorfindel frowned, wondering what this was about. And ouch, was he reading the warning signs right? Was Elrond going to have one of his famous tantrums? But why?

 

“You should have been guarding my rooms!” Elrond impatiently paced the room, wondering how he was ever going to find out his visitor’s identity. His mysterious lover had left during the night, leaving him alone in his bed. When he had woken and reached for him, he had only encountered a pillow.

 

“Did something happen I am not aware of?” Stunned, Glorfindel involuntarily held his breath when Elrond wildly moved his hands.

 

“Did something happen? Did something happen? Glorfindel!” Frustrated, Elrond came to a standstill in front of the Balrog Slayer and rested his hands on the other Elf’s shoulders, shaking him slightly. “Do you remember that night three thousand years ago when that healer visited with me?”

 

If Glorfindel was surprised by the change in topic, he didn’t show it. “Of course I remember.” Like Elrond, he had always wondered about that healer. When the half-Elf had told him what had happened that night, he had dismissed it at first. Elrond had seemed disorientated to him, but when the half-Elf had shown him the bloodstained sheets, he had begun to believe him. “What about him?”

 

“He was here for the last two nights, and do not dare tell me I imagined it. Look at me! Three days ago I was grieving heavily, nearly fading and now…”

 

Glorfindel couldn’t deny the change in Elrond. He had seen it three millennia ago as well. “He was here, then?” Now he was beginning to understand why Elrond was upset. “And you want me to locate him for you?”

 

“I wanted you to keep him from leaving last night! Aiya, Glorfindel, you have no idea what is really going on!”

 

“Then why do you not enlighten me?”

 

Elrond sighed, distressed, released Glorfindel and sat down on the bed, recalling last night’s tender ministrations. “This Elf is a naturally gifted healer. He draws his power from deep within himself. It took me a while to figure this out, but I understand now. He formed a healing bond with me, and I have been absorbing his life energy ever since. It is the reason why I recovered so quickly back then and why I am no longer in any emotional pain now. Even at this very moment, he is sustaining me.”

 

Glorfindel raised an eyebrow questioningly. “Let us assume you are right…” He paused to placate Elrond, seeing the half-Elf’s furious expression. “And I have no reason to assume you are wrong, then where is your savior now? Why leave? If he is bound to you, being in your vicinity would make things much easier. Why disappear?”

 

Elrond nodded once. “I asked myself the same questions. I do not believe he left voluntarily. Last night was… pure bliss.” He blushed weakly, seeing Glorfindel’s knowing expression. “Do not worry, I was careful this time.”

 

Glorfindel swallowed hard. “How much do you remember of last night?”

 

“Everything, as I did not drink Galadriel’s sleeping potion.” Elrond cupped his chin in his hand after resting his elbow on his knee, pondering his problems. “I am certain Galadriel is involved somehow.”

 

Glorfindel moistened his lips, pulled up a chair and sat down opposite the half-Elf. He recalled her words as well. “Millennia ago she said you had imagined being with him in that way because you were feverish.”

 

“But that never explained the blood. I know this really happened!”

 

“Peace, mellon, I believe you.” Glorfindel rested a hand on Elrond’s knee in an effort to calm him. “Maybe you should ask Celeborn instead?”

 

“Celeborn would not tell me anything either.”

 

“Maybe he has changed his mind since then?” suggested Glorfindel, wishing he could help Elrond to solve this problem.

 

“At least now I know *he* is here. Glorfindel, you have to find him for me!” Elrond enthusiastically nodded his head.

 

“How, meldir?” Glorfindel hated disappointing Elrond. “How do I find an Elf I know nothing about? Galadriel and Celeborn might have taken measures to ensure we never find him.”

 

Elrond’s eyes darkened with misery. “Will you at least try?”

 

Glorfindel nodded once. “I will do my best.”

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

Celeborn eyed his wife closely. Galadriel was humming softly, whilst weaving. She looked deceitfully like the woman he had fallen in love with, but he knew better now. “I talked to Erestor last night.”

 

Galadriel’s hands froze and her gaze searched Celeborn’s, but she didn’t say a single word.

 

“It has to stop, Galadriel,” said Celeborn resolutely. “I won’t allow you to hurt him any more.”

 

Instead of arguing with him, she simply returned to her weaving. The lack of a reaction on her part made him shiver, wondering if she had heard him at all.

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

“My Lord? I bring a message from your children.” The Noldorin messenger had left Imladris several days ago and had hurried here to deliver his message. He now handed Elrond the letter, noticing that his ruler’s condition had improved.

 

Elrond unfolded the letter and began reading it.

 

Glorfindel entered the room, dismissed the messenger for now and joined Elrond. “Good news or bad?”

 

“My children want me to return home,” mumbled Elrond after reading the letter. “They miss me and need me.”

 

“I understand that,” said Glorfindel in a soothing tone. “They lost their mother and when you left, they felt as if they were losing their father as well. If I were to advise you, I would tell you to go home as quickly as possible. Then, you can mourn as a family.”

 

“You speak wisely,” admitted Elrond, “but…”

 

Glorfindel nodded. “I made inquiries about your mysterious Elf, but no one will talk to me about him. I only met with stony silence.”

 

Elrond sighed, sorrowfully. “So I will never find out who he is and why he is sharing his life energy with me.”

 

“I am afraid so. Maybe it is best to let the matter rest for now and make inquiries when no one expects it.”

 

“Again, your council is sound.” Elrond was determined not to give up. He would place spies in Lothlorien, telling them to gather information about this healer for him. Now that Galadriel and Celeborn didn’t want to tell him, he had to take matters into his own hands.

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

“Erestor? Are you sure you want to watch this?” Rumil was the first brother to return from their lengthy patrol and the silver-haired Elf had hurried to him at once. Orophin and Haldir had told him what had happened these last few days and he shared their concern for Erestor’s well-being.

 

“I am sure.” Erestor, dressed in black robes, watched the Imladris’ party leave. Elrond had mounted his stallion, looking much improved. The stormy eyes burned with life and his jaw was set determinedly. “He will survive.”

 

“I am sure he will,” said Rumil, with barely concealed disapproval in his eyes. “I am more concerned about you than Elrond.”

 

Erestor gave him a warm smile and patted the sentry’s arm. “Thank you.”

 

Rumil returned the smile and then joined Erestor in looking outside. Glorfindel had mounted Asfaloth and the party was now moving away from the talan. Hearing Erestor groan softly beside him, Rumil gave the dark-haired Elf a concerned look.

 

“The distance between us is growing and I feel the loss,” explained Erestor in a sad tone, now that the party was making speed. Within minutes, they had disappeared from view. “I wish I could have stayed with him.”

 

Rumil knew about Haldir’s complicated relationship with Erestor and hoped his older brother wouldn’t end up being hurt. “You are in love with Elrond.”

 

Erestor swallowed, nervously meeting Rumil’s knowing eyes. “I would never willingly hurt Haldir’s feelings. I greatly care about him.”

 

Rumil nodded. “But you did not answer my question.”

 

“My fëa is entangled with Elrond’s,” said Erestor thoughtfully. “I am connected to him and to some degree I love him.” Even when he had minded the twins when they had been babies, he had cared about Elrond and Elros. But the feelings were deepening after last night. “It is a tangled web.”

 

Rumil reassuringly squeezed Erestor’s shoulder. “What will you do now that Elrond has left for Imladris?”

 

“I will go back to studying with master Camfael,” replied Erestor slowly, “And maybe the three of you will continue to keep me company?”

 

“Of course we will!” Rumil used his hold on Erestor’s shoulder to guide the other Elf to the table. “Sit down,” he said, piling food onto the plate, which he then placed in front of Erestor. “You are too thin. Eat.”

 

Erestor giggled briefly. “Aye, nana.”

 

Rumil tried to shoot Erestor an irritated look, but failed and giggled as well.

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

Camfael monitored Erestor closely, once his student had confided in him about the intimacy that had taken place between Elrond and he. Erestor had also told him that he was worried he had conceived again and could be pregnant. When Erestor had told him that, the dark-haired Elf had trembled like a leaf and fear had shone from the dark eyes. He was now determined to make sure Erestor was well cared for and watched out for any signs that could indicate a pregnancy.

 

He hoped Erestor wasn’t pregnant, as he was afraid for the Elf’s emotional balance. They had nearly lost Erestor when he had suffered that miscarriage and he wasn’t going to take any risks now. His alertness paid off, hearing Erestor’s dry heaving coming from the bathroom. Erestor would study with him today and he had come to the Elf’s room to accompany him to the library where the books on herb lore were kept.

 

Camfael hurried into the bathroom and his heart ached, seeing Erestor fight down his dry heaves. “Don’t. Don’t fight it. Just let it happen.” He gathered the long, damp strands of hair in his hand and steadied Erestor.

 

Erestor’s eyes had filled with tears of misery, glancing at the healer. He had to ride out the dry heaves and when they finally stopped, he sagged against Camfael.

 

Camfael caught him and supported him. “Rinse your mouth, my friend.” His arms remained locked around Erestor’s waist whilst the dark-haired Elf rinsed his mouth. “Come, you need to sit down.” Slowly, he guided Erestor back into the room, where he sat his charge down on the bed.

 

Tears now freely flowed down Erestor’s face. “’Tis happening again. May Nienna help me carry this burden.” He had tried to deny what his body had been telling him these last few days, but the nausea had finally caught up with him. “I am with child.” He rested his head against Camfael’s shoulder, now that the healer had seated himself on the bed beside him. “What do I do now?”

 

Camfael sighed, as he had been asking himself the same question. Elrond had visited Lothlorien four months ago, so Erestor’s pregnancy wasn’t that advanced yet. “I will take good care of you.”

 

“What if I lose this one as well?” Erestor rocked himself against Camfael, who had no other choice than to move with him.

 

“You won’t lose your baby.”

 

Celeborn’s voice took both Elves aback. Erestor startled momentarily, pushed himself away from Camfael’s comforting presence and tried to compose himself. “My Lord…?”

 

“I heard what was said,” whispered Celeborn in a thoughtful tone, closely studying Erestor. The raven-haired Elf had never regained the weight after aiding Elrond and had remained too thin. Although Haldir, his brothers, Camfael and he tried to look after Erestor, they still felt they weren’t doing enough. “You are pregnant again. In your fourth month, I reckon?”

 

Erestor bit his bottom lip and nodded. “Aye, my Lord.”

 

“We will take all necessary precautions,” said Celeborn firmly. “And leave Galadriel to me.”

 

Erestor carefully probed Celeborn’s eyes and found them sincere. “You will make sure my baby will be all right?”

 

Celeborn walked toward him and came to a standstill in front of the pregnant Elf. “I vow to do everything I can to ensure your child is born healthy.”

 

Erestor felt somewhat reassured, hearing that. “Thank you.”

 

Celeborn smiled warmly at Erestor and then wrapped an arm around him. “Why do you not lie down for a while? I need to discuss this with Camfael.”

 

Erestor was happy to let them worry about his baby’s safety and lowered himself onto the bed. He allowed Celeborn to cover him with a blanket and then closed his eyes, trying to shut out their presence. Right now, he wished Elrond were here to share this news with him.

 

“Camfael, walk with me.” After making sure that Erestor was all right for now, Celeborn signaled for the healer to join him. The two of them moved into the corridor and then headed for the lake, knowing they would have some privacy there. “What are the odds that Erestor will suffer another miscarriage?” asked Celeborn. Although Erestor’s pregnancy didn’t come to him as a shock, he still felt uneasy with the whole situation.

 

“If Galadriel leaves him alone?”

 

Celeborn sighed, understanding the point Camfael was making. “I tried to stop her. I even forbade her to use Erestor to heal Elrond’s pain, but she went ahead at any rate. I must admit I no longer have any influence on her.”

 

“In that case, I think there is a very real possibility that Erestor will lose this child.”

 

Celeborn frowned, wondering how to keep Erestor out of his wife’s reach. “Erestor is still in the early stages of his pregnancy. How much longer can we hide his condition?”

 

Camfael shrugged. “Maybe another two months, but he will start to show by then.”

 

“And he lost the twins when he was almost nine months pregnant. This will be a very stressful time for him.”

 

“My Lord? May I make a suggestion?”

 

“Of course.” Celeborn looked at his healer expectantly.

 

“Send him to Imladris. Send him to Elrond.”

 

“That idea crossed my mind as well,” admitted Celeborn. “It would be best for both of them; Erestor and the child.”

 

“But you are afraid Galadriel will manage to stop us.”

 

Celeborn nodded once. “We might have to do this behind her back. Once she learns Erestor is in Imladris there is little she can do to change that.”

 

“And you might want to send Haldir with Erestor,” suggested Camfael. “Haldir is the only one Erestor trusts completely and he will need a friendly face when he is among strangers.”

 

“Arranging this will take time.” Celeborn had to contact Elrond to request the half-Elf take on the responsibility for Erestor’s care and inform him of the Elf’s pregnancy. Should he also tell Elrond that he had fathered this child? But he could worry about that later. First he had to dispatch a messenger to Imladris. “I will keep you informed.”

 

“You have made the right decision,” said Camfael in a grateful tone. “When do we tell Erestor?”

 

“Once I receive word from Elrond. I do not want to give Erestor false hope. Haldir and he will probably have to sneak out of Lothlorien whilst I distract my wife.”

 

Camfael smiled warmly at Celeborn. “I must say I am honored to be your friend, my Lord.” He had hoped Celeborn would eventually become Erestor’s champion and the Lord of the Golden Wood hadn’t disappointed him after all.

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

Erestor felt warm. It was rather hot today and he was filling up his bathtub with tepid water. He would have preferred ice-cold water, but didn’t want to expose his baby to such cold. He was five months pregnant now and the nausea still sent him into the bathroom every morning. Now he was also experiencing cramps and he had never been happier to have several Elves who cared for him.

 

When Haldir had found out, the silver-haired Elf’s reaction had been mixed. He had expressed his worries first, then his joy and in the end, he had vowed to protect him and the child until his last breath.

 

Rumil and Orophin had reacted in similar ways and their fussing had grown even worse. Getting away from their concerned eyes was becoming harder, but he had finally managed to get a moment for himself. After removing his clothes, he carefully sat down in the tub, letting the water caress his body. He rested his right hand on his stomach, which was slightly distended. Only someone who knew he was with child would realize why the tummy was there. “I promise you, little one. If you die, I will die with you.” He would not go on living if he lost this child as well.

 

“Erestor?” Haldir peeked into the room and smiled upon seeing Erestor’s shy blush. “I had the feeling I might find you here.” He closed the door behind him and walked over to the bathtub. He knelt behind the tub and began to massage the tense shoulders.

 

Erestor relaxed, enjoying the massage. “Would you do my feet too?”

 

“Your feet?” Haldir laughed warmly. “Aye, I will also do your feet.”

 

Erestor smiled shyly. “I cannot help it. They are cramped up.”

 

“And you are only five months pregnant! Things will get worse before…” Haldir abruptly stopped talking, as the smile had faded from Erestor’s face. “Nay, things won’t get worse, I promise you. What I was trying to say is—“

 

“I know what you are trying to say,” said Erestor, composing himself. Haldir’s words had caught him off guard and suddenly the worst possible scenario had appeared to him: losing his baby.

 

“You will get food cravings, even more cramps, you will feel bloated, tired—“ Haldir made sure his voice carried a teasing tone.

 

“Haldir, stop it!” Erestor managed a weak smile. “I know what to expect.”

 

“And let us not forgot those mood swings!” Haldir was relieved to see that the smile had made a comeback on Erestor’s face. He rose from the floor and moved to the foot end of the tub. “So, they are cramped up?”

 

“Aye.” Erestor loved Haldir for doing this for him and smiled fondly at the march warden whilst sticking one foot out of the water. “Do that one first?”

 

“Cramps are worse in this one?”

 

“Aye.” Erestor sighed when Haldir’s fingers began to work their magic on his cramped up limb. “’Tis divine. What would I do without you, Haldir?”

 

Haldir reached for Erestor’s other foot and massaged them simultaneously. He knew he was doing it right, hearing Erestor purr his contentment. But now the tricky part had arrived. How was he to tell Erestor of their plan? Camfael and Celeborn hadn’t confided in Erestor yet and had asked him to inform the pregnant Elf of their impending departure.

 

“Haldir? You are brooding.” And Erestor didn’t like that. It usually meant Haldir was worried, worried about him.

 

“Aye, I am.” Haldir gently lowered the no longer cramped up limbs back into the water and pulled up a chair, sitting down beside the bathtub.

 

Erestor saw the serious expression in Haldir’s hazel eyes and his worry increased. “What is wrong? What did Galadriel order this time?” Instinctively, he reached for Haldir’s hand, uncaring he was splashing the march warden’s clothes with water.

 

Haldir drew in a deep breath. “I would not say anything is wrong. But there will be some changes.”

 

“Changes?” Erestor’s eyes widened worriedly.

 

“Celeborn has arranged for you to travel to Imladris. We are leaving tonight.” Haldir held his breath, wondering what Erestor’s reaction would be like.

 

“What?” Mouth agape, Erestor stared at Haldir. He must have misheard!

 

“Celeborn is concerned about you and he is determined to make sure you deliver this child. Therefore, he has decided to send you to Elrond, as the Peredhel is best suited to deal with this, being a healer himself.”

 

“I… do not… understand.” Erestor blinked in confusion. Haldir couldn’t be serious!

 

“Celeborn has ordered my brothers and I to take you to Imladris. Rumil and Orophin will return once we reach Imladris safely, but I will stay with you. You won’t be alone, lirimaer.” Haldir wondered about the terrified expression in Erestor’s eyes. “I thought you would like this idea.”

 

“I…” Erestor cleared his throat, trying to speak past the lump of emotions that had gathered there. “So I am supposed to stay until the baby has been born and then I am to return here?”

 

Haldir shook his head. “Celeborn wants you to stay in Imladris. He fears Galadriel will one day cause your death and he wants to prevent that.”

 

“And Elrond?” Erestor still had trouble understanding what was about to happen.

 

“Celeborn sent Elrond a message, telling him that he is worried about a pregnant male Elf. He did not tell Elrond who you are or what you did, just that he is afraid you will suffer another miscarriage. Elrond agreed to take you in and supervise your pregnancy.”

 

“So Elrond does not know I am carrying his child,” asked Erestor, making sure he understood.

 

“You will be his patient, nothing more.” But Haldir hoped Elrond would come to care for Erestor. Haldir loved Erestor enough to put the other Elf’s happiness first. And maybe, he would play matchmaker.

 

“And we will leave this evening?” Erestor nervously squirmed in the water. He desperately wanted Elrond close, but at the same time he was afraid that the half-Elf wouldn’t like him and he wasn’t sure he could deal with rejection in his current state.

 

“We will leave once Ithil rises.” Haldir patted Erestor’s hand in a way that he hoped was reassuring. “I will protect you and the baby, you know that.”

 

“I do,” said Erestor, nodding once.

 

“Camfael wants to examine you one last time, so do not forgot to see him before we leave.” Haldir leaned in closer and pressed a kiss on top of the wet hair. “You are not alone. Always remember that.”

 

Erestor swallowed hard and stared into Haldir’s honest eyes. “I will try.”

 

TBC

 

Beta read by Sulien.

All remaining mistakes are mine.

 

Heart in Chains

Part 18

 

 

“Did you lose your wits, Haldir? How can you want me to ride *that*?” Erestor stared in shock at the big, black stallion standing proudly in front of him, eyeing him with alert, dark eyes. Long powerful legs and a well-muscled chest only added to Erestor’s reluctance to mount the horse. If the stallion threw him off he would most certainly suffer another miscarriage and he didn’t want to do anything to endanger his unborn child. “You cannot be serious!”

 

“Keep your voice down, lirimaer,” said Haldir, quickly wrapping an arm around Erestor. They were standing in a secluded part of the wood and were getting ready for departure. Celeborn had promised to distract Galadriel long enough for them to escape Lothlorien. But now it seemed Erestor was reluctant to comply.

 

“Listen to me,” started Haldir, holding Erestor’s apprehensive gaze. “This is Tirith (Vigilance). This horse was trained by Celeborn personally. He has learned to protect his rider and will be extremely careful with you. He won’t throw you off or endanger you in any other way. The very opposite is true. If we were to encounter an enemy he would sacrifice himself for you.”

 

Erestor blinked, taking in all this new information and then stared at the stallion again. The dark eyes showed intelligence and the animal was studying him in turn.

 

Haldir, reading Erestor’s reluctant agreement in his chocolate eyes, guided the dark-haired Elf closer to Tirith. “Pat him. He likes being stroked on his nose.”

 

“I have not been around horses much,” explained Erestor gingerly. “I never learned to properly ride them, and now with this little one to protect I cannot help being cautious.” Gently, he rubbed the warm nose. “Haldir? I visited with Camfael and he examined me. He thinks I am pregnant with only one child. Not twins.”

 

Haldir was relieved. Carrying twins would have made this even harder for Erestor, who was still afraid that history was repeating itself. “Only one child, then.”

 

“Aye.” Erestor sighed, distressed. “Do you really want me to mount him?”

 

“Aye, and we will help you.” Haldir signaled for Rumil to help him and together they managed to get Erestor into the saddle. Tirith remained motionless, instinctively sensing that something was wrong with his charge. The stallion was determined to be very careful around this dark-haired Elf.

 

Erestor felt awkward, suddenly finding himself high in the air. Looking down at Haldir, he wondered why they hadn’t given him a docile mare instead.

 

Haldir signaled for his brothers to mount, and Erestor was about to hand the reins of his horse to Rumil, like he had done three thousand years ago.

 

“Nay, you keep them,” said Rumil with an unreadable expression on his face. He was fighting fierce emotions, being reminded of the moment when Orophin had disappeared into that crevice. If it hadn’t been for Erestor, they would have lost their brother that day. Seeing Erestor’s wondering expression, Rumil added softly, “You are not a prisoner any more, Erestor.”

 

Erestor blinked, hearing those words. He wasn’t?

 

Haldir felt he had to explain. He guided his horse next to Tirith, and once they were moving, he said, “Celeborn does not want to keep you here against your will.”

 

“But Galadriel does,” whispered Erestor knowingly. Then, he shrugged his shoulders once. “It does not really matter. I do not have a place to go if I were allowed to leave. But Imladris should be better than Lothlorien, at least I hope so.” His eyes darkened with worry and his fingers clawed at the leather of the saddle. They were riding at a slow pace, which surprised him. “Should we not speed up?”

 

Orophin cleared his throat. He was riding behind Erestor and had overheard the question. “You are nearly six months pregnant, Erestor. We won’t run you rugged to get you to Imladris a day early.”

 

“Then traveling there will take us two weeks at least,” said Erestor softly.

 

“Does it matter?” questioned Haldir. “I thought you would enjoy being in the open and having our pleasant company.” The stunning smile that Erestor gave him made his heart expand in his chest. Erestor seemed truly happy that moment and he was determined to keep it that way.

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

“He is asleep,” whispered Rumil. They had traveled for most of the night, and now that Arien was about to rise, it was time to make camp. The cover of night had ensured their unnoticed departure from Lothlorien, and as no one had tried to stop them, they reckoned their flight had been successful. “We should make camp.”

 

Haldir nodded. “I will look after Erestor. Rumil, make camp. Orophin, scout ahead and make sure we are secure here.” The two brothers began to carry out their assigned tasks whilst Haldir dismounted and then lifted Erestor out of the saddle. The pregnant Elf stirred, but did not wake up.

 

After carrying Erestor over to the spot Rumil had selected to set up camp, he placed Erestor on the blanket his brother had spread over the ground. Erestor’s eyes unexpectedly regained their alertness and looked questioningly at the march warden. “You are safe, lirimaer. Go back to sleep. You need the rest.”

 

Erestor nodded absentmindedly and then curled up on the blanket, whilst holding Haldir’s hand in his, making sure his protector couldn’t leave.

 

Haldir smiled dotingly and gave in, settling down beside Erestor. Stroking the dark hair with his other hand, he watched him sleep.

 

Rumil sat down beside him and began building a small fire. “What do you think will happen when we arrive in Imladris?”

 

“His heart will feel lighter for then he will be close to Elrond.” Haldir gave his brother a meaningful look. “Think about it, Rumil. Elrond is without a mate and Erestor is already bound to him. I will do my best to get them together.”

 

“Even when that means losing Erestor?”

 

“Rumil, I cannot lose what I never had. Erestor and I lived in borrowed time. We knew it would not last.” Now that he had said the words, he smiled weakly. “I am grateful for his trust and love though. They mean more to me than he will ever realize. I should have guarded my heart better, but he slipped past all defenses.”

 

Rumil nodded once. “I know what you mean. I greatly care for him as well. At times, it feels like it is the four of us, instead of just the three. He has become like a brother to me. Orophin feels the same way.”

 

A comfortable silence settled over them. Rumil tended to the fire and Haldir continued to stroke Erestor’s hair.

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“I apologize for falling asleep,” whispered Erestor guiltily. “It was not my intention.”

 

“We understand,” said Orophin soothingly. Haldir had relieved him and was now standing watch, whilst Rumil was reheating the remnants of the game Orophin had caught when hunting. “A pregnancy is very taxing.”

 

Relieved they understood, Erestor accepted the bowl of food Rumil handed him and began to eat. He was surprisingly hungry and emptied the bowl quickly. His stomach growled loudly, demanding more food and he gave the two brothers an apologetic look. “’Tis the little one who wants more.”

 

Rumil reached into his well-filled saddlebags and uncovered a sweet cake one of the cooks had prepared at his request. “I think this will fill your stomach satisfactorily.”

 

Erestor adoringly stared at the cake, smelling the honey and sugars in it. “May I?”

 

Rumil cut him a generous part, put it in his bowl, and then watched Erestor devour it. It was a good thing another cake was tucked away in Orophin’s saddlebag!

 

Erestor became aware of the fact that the two brothers were smiling at him, as he pushed the sweet cake into his mouth. “Are you not going to try it?”

 

“I had it made for you especially,” replied Rumil, smiling warmly. “But we might try it before reaching Imladris… if something is still left of it by then.”

 

Erestor blushed weakly, but finished the cake at any rate. “And now what?” Arien was beginning to shine stronger.

 

“Now we rest. Let us go over there.” Rumil pointed out the temporary shelter he had built, made from branches, leaves and blankets he had brought along. “It will provide you with the necessary cover.”

 

“And what about you?” Erestor didn’t like the extra care they were giving him. It made him feel like a burden.

 

Orophin realized that and acted quickly. “We will join you.” Haldir was standing watch and would warn them if anything was afoot. Also, the shelter was big enough to hold more than one.

 

“Lie down,” said Rumil, assisting Erestor in lying down on his side. Then he spooned up behind the dark-haired Elf, who tensed unexpectedly, and Orophin lay down face to face with Erestor. Both brothers reacted instinctively, folding one arm around Erestor’s waist.

 

“May I?” asked Orophin, as his hand hovered above Erestor’s abdomen.

 

Shyly, Erestor nodded. “But do not expect to feel much. The little one has not begun kicking yet.” But that would happen within the month. At least the twins had kicked when he was half-term. He guided Orophin’s hand past his robes and placed the palm against his abdomen. The unconditional trust that he felt toward Haldir had long ago been expanded to include Rumil and Orophin. He trusted the three brothers.

 

Orophin’s eyes widened, feeling the slight distension beneath his fingertips. At that moment, Erestor’s pregnancy became very real to him. Like Haldir, he realized that instant that Erestor’s destiny lay with the baby’s father; Elrond. “Do you have any idea what gender the child will be?” Erestor had been right the last time, when he had been convinced he was expecting two boys.

 

Erestor’s blush made a return, feeling Orophin’s fingertips tenderly stroke his abdomen. “It feels different this time. I think this little one is female.”

 

“A girl? A daughter!” called Rumil out in delight.

 

“I think so,” said Erestor, who was beginning to grow uncomfortable, being the center of attention. “But first she has to be born and I am afraid to think of any complications.”

 

“Complications?” Orophin, who was face to face with Erestor, saw the distress in the large, chocolate eyes.

 

“Camfael said there was scar tissue from the… miscarriage… and the baby has less room than the twins had. And then there is the birth. Elrond will have to open my abdomen for the child to be born.”

 

“A very frightening concept, indeed,” said Rumil, stroking Erestor’s back soothingly. “But you are strong. You are a survivor and you will see this one grow up.”

 

“I hope so.” Erestor closed his eyes, unable to say this when looking at Orophin. “I vowed to die with my child, should I lose this little one.”

 

“Aiya,” whimpered Rumil. “Do not say such things. We do not want to lose you. *Haldir* does not want to lose you.”

 

“And I do not want to leave him behind,” admitted Erestor, who gingerly opened his eyes to look at Rumil over his shoulder. “But I doubt I will survive losing another one.”

 

“In that case we will have to make sure you won’t lose your baby.” Rumil exchanged a determined look with Orophin. They would tell Haldir of Erestor’s admission, knowing their brother would make sure Erestor stayed with them, even if the baby died unexpectedly.

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

Seated on Tirith’s back, Erestor easily spotted the small lake to their right. The calm water reflected Ithil’s silver beams and Erestor wanted nothing more than to wade into the cool water and clean himself up. That morning, when Haldir had returned from his watch, he had teasingly remarked he wished they had brought along the bathtub. Haldir had smiled at hearing that, reminding him he could take all the baths he ever wanted once they were in Imladris. But now that he saw the lake this close, he wondered if Haldir would allow for a brief stop.

 

Haldir, looking over his shoulder, saw that Tirith had come to a stop. Apparently something had caught Erestor’s attention. Following the dark-haired Elf’s gaze, he realized it was the lake and this morning’s conversation returned to him. Signaling for his brothers to stop, he guided his horse close to Erestor’s. “Do you want to go swimming?”

 

Erestor, who hadn’t heard Haldir join him, startled. Cramps began to build in his lower back and a swim sounded like the perfect solution. “Would you mind taking a break for a few minutes?”

“We will go for a swim, then,” decreed Haldir.

 

Rumil and Orophin had heard and were looking forward to a bath themselves.

 

Haldir took the lead and once they had reached the lake, the march warden trained his senses on his surroundings. Finding no potential danger was near, he signaled for the others to also dismount. They quickly removed their clothes and Haldir noticed Erestor’s difficulty in removing his undershirt, not quite managing. “More cramps?” he guessed correctly.

 

“My lower back,” admitted Erestor in a soft tone. 

 

“Then let us attend to that.” Haldir helped Erestor out of the annoying shirt and smiled warmly, seeing the blush on the dark-haired Elf’s face. Erestor was trying to cover up his private parts with his hands, obviously embarrassed. “I have seen you naked before,” whispered Haldir soothingly. “And so did my brothers when you were in that withdrawn state. There is no need to feel ashamed.”

 

Erestor slowly raised his hands and settled them on his abdomen instead. He knew they had attended to him when he had mourned the loss of his sons and told himself not to feel embarrassed.

 

Rumil and Orophin, who had overheard the conversation, gave Erestor some space by running into the water, splashing the other. Soon, they were giggling and trying to pull the other under, which always backfired.

 

“Come with me,” said Haldir, extending his hand, which Erestor took. He led the pregnant Elf into the cool water until it reached their waist. “Now try to float.” He hoped that once Erestor felt relaxed, the muscle cramps would ease as well.

 

Erestor eased his body into the water and stared at the star-filled sky once he was afloat. “You were right,” he whispered softly, as the tension in his back began to loosen up.

 

Haldir nodded, smiled, and remained close to Erestor, making sure the pregnant Elf stayed afloat. His brothers’ delighted yells reached him and he looked at them as they tried to wrestle the other. He briefly wondered who would win, knowing they were evenly matched.

 

“It feels good,” whispered Erestor, whose eyes were beginning to close. For so long he had lived with tension, fear of Galadriel, and uncertainty, and finally it seemed he would have peace at last. He was looking forward to living in Imladris. He didn’t expect Elrond to greatly care about him, except as a patient, but he was looking forward to exploring the valley, which was said to be beautiful.

 

Haldir caressed Erestor’s brow and the large eyes opened slowly to look at him. “I hope you will be happy in Imladris.”

 

A lump of emotion was building in Erestor’s throat. “But you will stay with me, won’t you?”

 

“Aye, I will. I promised, didn’t I?” Haldir smiled warmly at Erestor. “If we can keep up this pace we will reach the valley in five days. Then you can rest.”

 

Erestor involuntarily rested a hand on his abdomen. “I want this one to be born alive, Haldir. I cannot lose another one.”

 

Haldir knew Erestor was deadly serious. If Erestor for some reason lost this baby, they would lose him as well.

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

The next few days passed in companionable silence. Erestor was busy sorting out his thoughts and feelings where Haldir and Elrond were concerned. He was afraid he would unwillingly hurt the march warden in the end. He was reminded of his conversation with Rumil, when Elrond had left, and admitted to himself that he did have feelings for Elrond. If only things had developed differently.

 

“Now it is you who is brooding,” said Haldir teasingly. Erestor was an open book to him and he easily read the fears and doubts on the other’s face. /He always worries about others and seldom for himself. Elrond would be lucky to have him as a mate./

 

“I was thinking,” started Erestor slowly, making sure Rumil and Orophin couldn’t overhear them. “You cannot stay in Imladris forever. Your place is at Celeborn’s side, guarding Lothlorien’s borders. And I could never take you away from your brothers, who, as you told me, will return to the Golden Wood.”

 

“Do not trouble yourself about that,” said Haldir, ill at ease with this topic.

 

“But it is the truth. No matter how long it may take, in the end your heart will command you to return to Lothlorien and I want you to know that I understand. I do not want you to waste your life at my side.”

 

Haldir growled softly. “Being with you is not wasting my life!”

 

“But it is. You have been stuck with me since they commanded you to guard me. You and your brothers deserve better. You deserve complete freedom.”

 

Haldir shot Erestor a warning look. “We may not have liked that order in the beginning, and the Valar know we mistreated you, but we have come to care for you. Rumil and Orophin think of you as their brother.”

 

“But you do not.”

 

“I think of you as my lover,” said Haldir steadfast.

 

“But I can never truly be your lover, Haldir.” Erestor’s voice was filled with longing and sorrow. “You deserve better than that – than me.”

 

“Don’t you ever dare say that again!” growled Haldir displeased. “You are a very special person, warm and caring, and anyone would be fortunate to have your friendship, let alone your love.”

 

“Ah, Haldir, you are determined to make this hard for me.” Haldir was riding close to him and Erestor cupped the march warden’s cheek in his palm. “I want you to know that I set you free, that you should not consider yourself bound to me in any way. If love comes your way, do not let it slip away.”

 

“I already have you,” whispered Haldir, loyally.

 

“Aiya, Haldir.” Erestor caressed the guardian’s face. “You will always have me, but there is enough space in your heart for another, trust me.”

 

“I do not want another!” Haldir now glared at Erestor. “And I consider this conversation closed.”

 

Erestor sighed, hoping Haldir would understand one day.

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

“This is our last evening together,” said Rumil regretfully, whilst they settled down around the campfire. “We will reach the Last Homely House tomorrow.” He cocooned Erestor in a warm blanket, as the night’s chill was creeping over the lands. Now that the Elf was pregnant, Erestor seemed more susceptible to the cold.

 

Erestor bowed his head and hid his features behind his long hair. The truth was that he didn’t want this trip to end. Not any more. When they had left, he had wanted to reach Imladris quickly, but now he wanted to continue to travel with the three brothers. They had made the trip as pleasurable and comfortable as possible and he didn’t want to part with Rumil and Orophin. But Haldir at least would stay with him.

 

“Here, eat.” Rumil handed Erestor a large piece of Lembas and a cup of herbal tea, which he had prepared every evening during their trip. Camfael had assured him it would ease muscle cramps and prevent morning sickness and Erestor had been spared the nausea in the morning, for which all three felt grateful.

 

“I am not hungry,” objected Erestor, but Rumil pushed the food and tea into his hands any way.

 

“You must eat for both of you,” said Haldir, reminding Erestor that he had to uphold his strength.

 

Erestor sighed deeply and then nibbled reluctantly on the waybread. Rumil and Haldir were fussing over him, knowing he felt depressed. It was a good thing Orophin was scanning ahead, because he didn’t think he could have survived another mother hen.

 

Erestor suddenly shivered. “Do you think Galadriel will sabotage her husband’s plan?” Maybe she already had. His greatest fear was that Galadriel would tell Elrond that he was a kinslayer. Even if it was just a lie, the half-Elf would believe his mother in law and shun him for it.

 

“Maybe,” said Haldir thoughtfully. “But I trust in Celeborn. He will find ways to contain her scheming.”

 

Erestor nodded unenthusiastically, not really believing the Lord of the Golden Wood could control Galadriel in any way.

 

“When will Orophin and you leave? Right away?” Erestor searched Rumil’s sparkling eyes. He was truly blessed with such good friends.

 

“Aye, I think so. Celeborn told us to return at once. You must understand,” said Rumil, holding Erestor’s gaze, “Our borders are still under attack. Sauron is gaining in strength and Celeborn wants to keep our realm safe. He needs every sentry to patrol the borders.” He realized he had said the wrong thing when Erestor’s gaze worriedly shifted to Haldir.

 

“Then they will need you as well, Haldir.” Haldir had commanded Celeborn’s forces before they had left and he wondered how the sentries would deal with losing their commanding officer. “You should go back with your brothers.”

 

Haldir had pushed that thought away since they had left the Golden Wood. “Celeborn is a cunning leader. He can do without me.” Celeborn had to do without him, because he refused to leave Erestor’s side in his current condition.

 

Feeling guilty for keeping Haldir from performing his duties, Erestor’s mood darkened.

 

Rumil, who sat closest to Erestor, noticed it and leaned against him, pulling the pregnant Elf close. “Haldir makes his own decisions, remember?”

 

Erestor nodded, fatigued, accepting he couldn’t change Haldir’s opinions.

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

“That is the Last Homely House where Elrond resides.” Haldir pointed the structure out to Erestor, hoping to spark the other Elf’s interest. Now that they were about to ride into Imladris, Erestor seemed sullen and withdrawn. He wondered if this was the first mood swing connected to the pregnancy and mentally prepared himself for much worse ones.

 

“Aha,” whispered Erestor, forcing himself to look at the building. Guilt had been clawing at him since he had realized he was keeping Haldir from carrying out his duties as Celeborn’s second in command.

 

Tirith trod carefully, like the stallion had done for every day these past weeks. Erestor had learned to appreciate the horse’s carefulness and would actually be sorry to part from him.

 

Rumil stood in the stirrups and scanned their surroundings. “There are guards in the trees around us. They have probably already told Elrond that we are approaching Imladris.”

 

Erestor felt nauseous, realizing he had to face Elrond shortly. “What if he recognizes me?”

 

Haldir worried about that as well. “I doubt it,” he said eventually. “He was drugged, and you were wearing face paint. I doubt he will make the connection.”

 

“I hope so.” Erestor wanted Elrond to find out the truth at one moment, and the next, he prayed to Nienna that the half-Elf would never recognize him. His feelings and desires no longer made any sense to him.

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

Arien was beginning her daily descent when Haldir led them onto the courtyard, where he found two blond Elves waiting for him. Elrond was nowhere in sight. “Mae govannen! I bring greetings from Lord Celeborn.” Haldir quickly dismounted and studied the two Elves in front of him. One of them was dressed in luxurious burgundy robes, his long, white hair dancing on his back and hands hidden in the sleeves. He was certain that he had never met this Elf before, but the other one, he knew.

 

Glorfindel was wearing a grey shirt, green leggings and tunic. Long, leather boots reached his knees and he even carried his sword. Meeting the azure eyes, Haldir felt something soften in his heart. The eyes were as blue as the sea and he nearly drowned in them. Glorfindel was stunning. Why hadn’t he noticed that three millennia ago?

 

“You are most welcome here, Haldir of ‘Lorien. This is Lindir, Lord Elrond’s seneschal.” Glorfindel, amused at seeing the adoring expression in Haldir’s eyes, smiled. Glorfindel flashed back to that one night, three thousand years ago, when Haldir had brought that mysterious healer to them. He had promised Elrond to continue his efforts to find out more about this healer and he hoped Haldir would answer some of his questions. His gaze shifted from Haldir to his two silver-haired brothers and was reminded of receiving a party of four after the Battle of the Last Alliance. Now, as well as back then, they were escorting an Elf, whose features were hidden behind a curtain of raven hair. “And I suppose you are Erestor?” Elrond had informed him that the pregnant Elf would stay with them for quite some time.

 

Erestor shivered, hearing Glorfindel speak his name. Although the golden-haired Balrog Slayer seemed kind and friendly, old suspicions awoke, reminding him not to trust easily. “Aye, I am Erestor.”

 

“Rumil? Help Erestor dismount,” ordered Haldir, who found it hard to look away from Glorfindel. He rarely felt nervous, but now he did, looking into Glorfindel’s sapphire eyes.

 

Rumil and Orophin assisted Erestor when the Elf dismounted and remained close in case Erestor needed their support.

 

“Erestor, you are most welcome here. Lindir will show you to your quarters, which I hope will be to your satisfaction. Elrond will visit with you in the morning. He felt you should rest for some time.” Glorfindel felt vexed, now that the dark hair kept him from looking at Erestor’s face. Realizing there was little he could do about that, Glorfindel dismissed it for now and concentrated on his duties. “Haldir, I will show you to your rooms. Are your brothers staying as well?”

 

“For the night, aye,” decided Haldir. “They will leave for Lothlorien in the morning.” His brothers could do with a good night’s sleep.

 

Erestor eyed Lindir suspiciously now that the white-haired Elf was moving closer toward him and he shot Haldir a pleading glance.

 

Which Glorfindel noticed at once. His curiosity had already been piqued, learning that the Elf Celeborn was sending here was pregnant. He had never met a male Elf before who was with child.

 

“I will accompany Erestor,” said Rumil, seeing Erestor’s discomfort. He also realized that Haldir couldn’t refuse Glorfindel’s offer to show him to his rooms. He hoped that his presence would reassure Erestor.

 

Glorfindel read Erestor’s body language with ease, finding the pregnant Elf afraid and uncertain. He would tell Elrond to proceed with caution when the half-Elf examined their guest, who seemed easily startled.

 

Erestor sighed, relieved, now that Rumil would stay close to him. When Lindir signaled for him to follow, he reluctantly did.

 

Haldir watched them leave, and was determined to reassure Erestor later. But for now he had to concentrate on Glorfindel.

 

“Erestor is in the best hands here,” said Glorfindel soothingly, walking toward the doorway.

 

Haldir followed Glorfindel into the Last Homely House and felt mesmerized, seeing the golden locks teasingly caress the Balrog Slayer’s face. He couldn’t remember feeling this way before and briefly wondered if love at first sight really existed. Was he experiencing it now?

 

TBC

 

Beta read by Sulien.

All remaining mistakes are mine.

 

 

Heart in Chains

Part 19

 

 

“I must say I am curious,” started Glorfindel softly. “I never met a pregnant male Elf before.”

 

Haldir wasn’t sure how to respond. “Erestor is also the first pregnant male Elf I ever met,” he said eventually. Eager for Glorfindel to like Erestor, so the dark-haired Elf would have another friend here, he added, “He is also one of the kindest souls I ever met.”

 

Glorfindel nodded once, then gave Haldir a thoughtful glance. “I am surprised that Celeborn would send his Captain to attend to this Elf. I would imagine your men miss their commanding officer.”

 

“Celeborn is more than capable of leading his men himself,” said Haldir somewhat defensively, growing alert. Glorfindel’s questions seemed innocent, but they weren’t. “Sometimes we need to get our priorities straight.”

 

“And Erestor is more important than securing Lothlorien’s borders?” They had reached the corridor in which Haldir’s quarters were situated, and Glorfindel stopped at the appropriate door.

 

“In a certain way, he is,” said Haldir, determinedly meeting Glorfindel’s puzzled eyes. “Each child that comes to us is precious.”

 

Again, Glorfindel nodded his head. “You are right, of course.” Glorfindel opened the door and signaled for Haldir to step inside. “I hope to learn more about this unique Elf. It is rare for a male to be pregnant.”

 

“As you said, Erestor is quite unique.” Haldir inspected his quarters, knowing Glorfindel expected him to and then nodded his head. “These are very luxurious quarters.”

 

“They are to your liking, then?”

 

“Yes.” Haldir didn’t dare meet Glorfindel’s eyes, now that butterflies were tickling his insides. The Balrog Slayer was kind, intelligent and polite, but Haldir wondered what sides of his personality Glorfindel was hiding and found himself eager to find out. He was intelligent enough to realize he was considered handsome himself, as many Elves had tried to court him. Except for Erestor, he had rejected most of them, but Glorfindel would be worthy of him. The question was; did Glorfindel deem him worthy in turn?

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

“I hope the rooms are to your liking, Erestor,” said Lindir, confident that the spacious quarters would please his guest. He had selected a suite with a large balcony, offering a grand view of Imladris’ waterfalls. This suite was usually given to royal guests, but as Celeborn had seemed so concerned about Erestor, Elrond had decided to pamper their pregnant guest.

 

Erestor swallowed hard, looking about. The bedroom was large, held a desk, two comfortable chairs, a wardrobe and a luxurious four-poster bed with a star-speckled canopy.

 

Rumil gently pulled him into the bathroom to point out the pool, sunken into the floor. “Now you can turn into a prune,” said the silver-haired Elf teasingly.

 

Erestor grinned and gave Rumil a warm smile. He appreciated it that Rumil was staying close to him. But he still hoped that Haldir would join him later. He needed his protector close.

 

Lindir also smiled, realizing these airy and sunlit rooms were just what Erestor needed. His eyes dropped lower, coming to rest on the dark-haired Elf’s abdomen. Erestor was holding his hands protectively in front of him, but Lindir could still see the slight distention, revealing his pregnancy. When Elrond had told him about their guest, he had found it hard to believe that a male Elf could conceive, but he was seeing the proof now. Lindir cleared his throat in order to gain Erestor’s attention. Once the dark-haired Elf’s shy gaze was directed at him, he said, “Would you like to eat breakfast in the great hall or would you prefer it to be brought to your rooms?”

 

Erestor, feeling a tad nervous, let his dark hair fall in front of his face. “My rooms, please.” That way he didn’t have to face any judging eyes.

 

“As you wish,” said Lindir, making a mental note. “Would you like some light refreshments before going to bed?” Ithil had long risen, but he imagined a pregnant Elf might still be hungry.

 

“Nay, thank you.” The last thing Erestor wanted was to be a burden.

 

Lindir slowly walked toward the doorway now that his services were no longer needed. “A servant will take you to the Healing House in the morning where Lord Elrond will be waiting for you.”

 

Erestor nodded, his dark hair dancing in front of him. He felt relieved when Lindir finally closed the door behind him and then began to rave. “Why did I come here? What was I thinking? I cannot do this!” Panic was building inside him, but then a hand settled on his shoulder, reminding him that he wasn’t alone.

 

“You *can* do this, Erestor,” said Rumil firmly. “You deserve to be treated well, and not like Galadriel has treated you. She used you in so many ways. It looks like Elrond wants to pamper you, let him.”

 

Erestor sighed, distressed. “These are alien surroundings and these Elves…”

 

“They will get to know you and come to care for you. Give it time. And I think Elrond is right; you do need to rest. You are swaying on your feet.” Rumil gently took hold of Erestor’s arm and guided him to the bed, where he sat him down. He then lifted Erestor’s feet, not leaving his charge a choice but to comply.

 

Erestor lay down, looking at Rumil thoughtfully. “I do not want Orophin and you to leave.”

 

“Haldir will stay with you and Lindir seems friendly. I am sure you will quickly make new friends here.” Seeing the look of abandonment in Erestor’s dark eyes, he sighed and then lay down as well, spooning behind his charge. He knew from personal experience that Erestor wouldn’t be able to sleep in a strange bed when he was alone. “Rest now.”

 

“Will you wake me if Haldir joins us?”

 

“Of course,” said Rumil, soothingly stroking the long hair. “Now rest.”

 

Erestor was finally able to let go, now that someone was watching over him and his baby, and he drifted off into reverie.

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

The moment Glorfindel closed the door behind him, Haldir removed his arms and cloak and then left as well, heading for Erestor’s rooms. He hoped Rumil had managed to comfort Erestor, who had seemed distressed. Entering without knocking first, Haldir smiled, seeing Rumil holding Erestor in his sleep.

 

Rumil’s eyes immediately sought out Haldir’s. “He is worried.”

 

Haldir sat down on the bed and the two brothers traded positions. Now it was Haldir lying down and holding Erestor, who instantly moved closer.

 

“Worried about what?” Haldir instinctively placed one hand over Erestor’s abdomen, hoping the dark-haired Elf felt protected.

 

“He does not know how to act around them. He has been confined for too long.” Rumil bit his bottom lip, knowing very well that it would take time for Erestor to feel comfortable here. If only Orophin hadn’t drawn the wrong conclusion all those millennia ago! Rumil felt guilty for his brother’s mistake in judgment, knowing Orophin felt even guiltier.

 

“Go to bed, Rumil. Orophin and you still have a long trip back ahead of you and you need the rest. I will look after Erestor.”

 

Rumil got to his feet, walked toward the doorway and looked at Erestor one last time. He wasn’t sure if he would ever see the dark-haired Elf again. “Take good care of him *and* the baby, Haldir.”

 

“I will,” promised Haldir. “I will treat the little one as if she were my own child.” Then Haldir added privately, /At least until Elrond comes to care for you, lirimaer./

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Erestor woke the next morning because Haldir was moving about in bed. “Lay still…”

 

“I cannot do that, lirimaer. I need to return to my room. I think it would be best if they did not discover just yet that I tend to sleep in your bed.”

 

The expression in Erestor’s eyes grew sad. Turning around in Haldir’s embrace, he made eye contact with the silver-haired Elf.

 

“I might not be able to come to you every night, Erestor,” said Haldir softly. “I might find myself tangled up with other engagements.”

 

“Like?” Erestor didn’t like the sound of this.

 

Haldir drew in a deep breath before delivering the bad news. “Glorfindel mentioned that Elrond is interested in learning more of Lothlorien’s defensive actions when it comes to securing our borders. Glorfindel asked me to occasionally patrol the borders with him and see if I can add to their guards’ training.”

 

Erestor’s eyes narrowed, hearing a certain note to Haldir’s voice when speaking the name of the blond. “Glorfindel?” His first suspicion was quickly confirmed when Haldir failed to stop his blush from spreading over his face. “Glorfindel?” The blush intensified and Haldir cleared his throat. “Glorfindel!” Erestor smiled sorrowfully. “You like him?”

 

“Not in the way that I like you!” Haldir averted his gaze. “I did not wish for you to find out when I am not certain of my feelings yet.”

 

“They seem very clear to me.” Erestor felt somewhat saddened, realizing that he would have to let go of Haldir shortly, which meant he would stay behind alone. But another part of him rejoiced. He had never been able to fully return Haldir’s feelings and the march warden deserved someone who could love him in return. “You are in love with him.”

 

“I am not,” said Haldir grumpily.

 

“You are.” Erestor’s voice was remarkably tender, speaking those words. Using one hand to raise Haldir’s face, the other’s gaze reluctantly met his. “I told you before that I want you to be happy. Pursue this. Find out if the feeling is mutual.”

 

“Erestor! Glorfindel and I met only last night! It is not like we are going to get married tomorrow!” The willingness – almost eagerness – with which Erestor was accepting this unnerved Haldir. But what other reaction had he expected? Erestor never threw tantrums. “No matter what happens, I want you to know that you will always hold a very special place in my heart.”

 

“I know that,” said Erestor sincerely. “I came back for you. I would never have done that if it had not been for your love.”

 

Haldir swallowed hard. “I do not want to hurt you, lirimaer.”

 

“We always knew that this day would come. And I am happy that you are falling in love. I just hope Glorfindel realizes what a treasure you are and that he will treat you right.”

 

“Erestor, this is so very new and you are talking like Glorfindel and I are already together. We are not.”

 

“Then make sure he becomes yours, meleth-nîn.” Erestor tenderly stroked Haldir’s brow. “Impress him, do whatever is necessary to make him notice you.” The smile that appeared on Haldir’s face made him smile in turn. “I am certain you are capable of seducing Glorfindel.”

 

“Seducing Glorfindel? Is that your advice on what course to take in this matter?” Haldir grinned.

 

“Yes.” Erestor rubbed Haldir’s brow with his thumb and then pulled away. The time had come to distance himself from the march warden. In that way he could give Haldir a chance to build a new life for himself here, hopefully with Glorfindel at his side. “And now go back to your room. I need to take a bath and see Elrond.”

 

Haldir refused to be rushed. “Are you nervous about that?”

 

Erestor sighed. “I would be lying if I told you no. I *am* nervous. But I also know I have to do this.”

 

Haldir tightened the hold he still had on Erestor, refusing to let go just yet. “Do you want me to accompany you today?”

 

Erestor was tempted to accept, but shook his head in the end. He had to stop being so dependent on Haldir. “I will manage alone.”

 

Haldir doubted that, but remained quiet, allowing Erestor to make his own decisions.

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

Elrond looked up from his plate when Glorfindel entered his private chambers. Normally he joined his staff for breakfast in the great hall, but this morning he felt some need for privacy and had decided to eat breakfast in his quarters instead. “Good morning,” he said, greeting Glorfindel, who looked remarkably pensive this morning.

 

Glorfindel, dressed in his usual silver and green attire, pulled up a chair and sat down opposite Elrond, who was already reading reports at his desk. “Just a word of warning.”

 

“About what?” His curiosity piqued, Elrond placed the papers aside and looked at Glorfindel whilst sipping his tea.

 

“I welcomed the party from Lothlorien last night.”

 

“Ah, how did that go?” Elrond leaned back in his chair and occasionally slipped a morsel of bread, layered with honey, into his mouth.

 

“Haldir of ‘Lorien seemed nervous for some reason I cannot label and he was remarkably eager to remain near his charge.”

 

“The pregnant Elf? What was his name again?”

 

“Erestor.” Glorfindel looked thoughtfully at Elrond. “He kept his face hidden behind his long, dark hair, making it impossible for me to get a good look at his face.”

 

“And Haldir’s brothers?”

 

“Rumil accompanied our guest when Lindir seemed to intimidate Erestor.” Glorfindel stole a slice of buttered bread and began to munch on it. In between bites, he added, “They are already on their way back to Lothlorien.”

 

“Yet Haldir remains?”

 

“Aye, it is beyond me why Celeborn would assign Haldir to minding this pregnant Elf. Haldir is a formable and cunning warrior, needed to command Celeborn’s men and yet he is sent here.”

 

Elrond nodded, contemplating Glorfindel’s words. “Erestor must then be important to Celeborn.” An absurd thought entered his mind. “Do you think Celeborn fathered the child?”

 

Glorfindel shrugged once. “I do not know about that, but I find it odd that Celeborn has a personal interest in this pregnant Elf.”

 

Elrond agreed. “I will examine Erestor this morning and see what I can find out.” Putting down his empty teacup, he asked, “Did you already make inquiries about my mysterious healer?”

 

“I did not get a chance yet, but I plan to ask Haldir. He is Celeborn’s confidant and might let something slip. Are your spies making any progress?”

 

Elrond shook his head. “All they gathered is that a healer did reside there, but they cannot seem to find him.” This vexed him. “I just want to know why he won’t reveal himself to me. I am greatly indebted to him and wish to express my gratitude.”

 

Glorfindel’s eyes narrowed. “What if he does not have a say in the matter?”

 

“’Tis possible,” admitted Elrond, “Though I do not know why anyone would force him to help me.”

 

“We will find out,” said Glorfindel, rising from his chair. “Ah, that reminds me. A word of advice, Elrond. Erestor seemed rather timid to me and easily frightened. I suggest you act with caution when you meet with him. You do not want to scare him off.”

 

“I will be cautious,” promised Elrond. He watched as Glorfindel ‘acquired’ another slice of bread and then left the room. Now that he was alone again, he surrendered to his musings. /Why are you so important to Celeborn that Haldir is ordered to remain at your side? And why are you so easily intimated?/

 

Elrond grew tired of asking himself these questions and rose from behind his desk to change into his formal robes. The only way to get his answers was to meet with Erestor.

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

Erestor gingerly followed the servant who was taking him to the Healing House. Once he had arrived there, his curiosity awoke and now that he was alone, he began to study the herbs that hung from the ceiling, drying, so they could be used in potions later.

 

One hand remained on his abdomen most of the time. He was nearly seven months pregnant and frightened he could lose his baby any moment now. The possibility of a miscarriage scared him witless and made him think that confining himself to his rooms was the safest way to ensure his child was born healthy.

 

“Erestor, I presume?”

 

Elrond’s voice startled him and he spun around, nearly losing his balance. When had the Peredhel entered the room and why hadn’t he heard? Acting on instinct, he let his hair obscure his face, whilst rubbing his abdomen in an effort to assure himself that everything was all right with his baby.

 

Elrond was taken aback, seeing the dark hair fall like a curtain in front of his patient’s face, obviously in an effort to shield himself from curious looks. “Peace, my friend, I mean you no harm.” Fear came rolling off his patient in waves. “I am Elrond Half-Elven and Lord Celeborn asked me to supervise your pregnancy.” Erestor remained quiet and his body posture told Elrond that his patient desperately wanted to flee the room. “Why don’t we sit down?” He pointed at the pair of comfortable chairs situated near the window. They would have a calming view of the Bruinen when sitting there.

 

Erestor realized he couldn’t defy Elrond and gingerly shuffled over to the chairs. Seating himself, he made sure his hair continued to hide his face. He couldn’t take the risk of looking at Elrond, afraid that the half-Elf would recognize him.

 

Elrond also sat down, telling himself to be extremely careful and patient with Erestor. “How do you fare this morning? Any nausea?”

 

“No morning sickness,” said Erestor in a barely audible voice.

 

A pleasant tingling sensation coursed through Elrond’s body at hearing Erestor’s voice. For some reason it sounded familiar. “How far along are you?” He had studied the information Celeborn had given him, but preferred to make sure all data was correct.

 

“Seven months now.” Erestor squirmed uncomfortable on his chair. He desperately wanted to look at Elrond, fling himself into the half-Elf’s arms and be held, but he remained motionless.

 

So Celeborn’s information had been accurate. “Cramps? Mood swings? Food cravings? Any physical discomfort?” He was working his way to his most delicate question; that of the miscarriage, which Erestor had suffered according to Celeborn’s letter.

 

“Not really,” whispered Erestor. “I feel… odd at times, but nothing I cannot deal with.”

 

Elrond didn’t know why, but that answer displeased him for some reason. Clearing his throat, he knew he had to be very tactful. “Celeborn wrote that this is not your first pregnancy.” From where he was sitting he could see Erestor tense up. “I regret bringing up painful memories, but I need to know your medical history.”

 

Erestor sighed, trying to calm his raging nerves. “Lord Celeborn told you the truth. I suffered a miscarriage three millennia ago.”

 

Elrond’s heart went out to Erestor. He had delivered his children personally, and the mere thought of Celebrian having a miscarriage and losing one of them filled his heart with pain. “I feel for you, and I will do my best to ensure this one will rest in your arms, sound and well.” Tremors racked Erestor’s body and Elrond wondered if his patient would accept his soothing touch. But when Erestor flinched away from him, he realized it was too soon. “Celeborn’s chief healer examined you before you left and he thought you were pregnant with one child?” Elrond had wondered why Camfael had felt it necessary to include ‘one child’.

 

“I lost twins…” Erestor choked up, wanting to tell Elrond that *they* had lost twins, but he couldn’t bring himself to confide in the half-Elf. “Boys.”

 

Elrond’s heart constricted painfully, imagining losing Elladan and Elrohir. That thought caused him much pain and he quickly pushed it away, but it did encourage him to give Erestor the best care possible. “My heart aches for you.”

 

Erestor sobbed softly, unable to contain his pain and so desperately wanting to share it with Elrond, the twins’ other parent, but he couldn’t. “Thank you. That means a lot to me.” More than he could ever tell Elrond.

 

“I would like to examine you now,” said Elrond, rising from his chair. He immediately caught the flinch that moved through Erestor’s tense body. “Would you remove your robes and shirt? You can leave your leggings on.”

 

Erestor’s mouth had gone dry at hearing that request and he prayed Elrond wouldn’t recognize the body that had received him three times in those long millennia. Slowly, he pushed himself to his feet and began to disrobe.

 

Elrond moved over to the large table that took up a quarter of the room. “Please lie down on your back.” Elrond studied Erestor’s body language and realized this was the last place the other Elf wanted to be.

 

Erestor forced himself to comply, but once he had lain down, he realized that his hair no longer offered him any refuge from Elrond’s probing eyes.

 

Elrond was surprised to see Erestor’s large, chocolate eyes, the refined, high cheekbones and luscious lips. The Elf was definitely handsome, beautiful even, and there was absolutely no reason for him to hide behind his hair. /And he reminds me of someone… It is the eyes… In the eyes… Those huge, chocolate eyes./

 

Pushing that thought aside for now, Elrond concentrated on examining his patient. Placing his hands on the swollen abdomen, he probed the area. “I agree with Camfael. There is only one child.” Trying to make eye contact with Erestor, he was disappointed to find that the Elf had closed his eyes. He continued the examination and encountered the scar the miscarriage had left behind and Elrond felt pity for Erestor, who had lost his twins. “There is some scar tissue.”

 

“Camfael already told me.” Erestor’s eyes remained close, knowing they could spark Elrond’s memory of other times when he had touched him. “Do you expect complications?”

 

Elrond rubbed his thumb tenderly over the stretched skin, considering his patient’s questions. “Complications are always possible.” Erestor tensed further and Elrond instantly regretted his words. “But I will do my best to prevent them.”

 

“May I get dressed again now?” Erestor felt ill at ease, being this vulnerable and partly naked.

 

“One more moment.” Elrond frowned, fully realizing how skinny Erestor was. Ribs showed clearly beneath the skin. “When was the last time you ate?”

 

“On the road. Orophin caught some game.” Erestor already knew what would follow.

 

“You need to increase your food intake, Erestor.”

 

“I will try,” promised Erestor. He would do anything if only his child was born healthy.

 

Elrond had finished his examination and stepped away from his patient. “You may dress yourself again.” The speed with which Erestor rose and slipped into his robes amazed him and once more the raven hair obscured the other Elf’s face. “I want to examine you again in one week and do not hesitate to tell me if you feel any discomfort. I am here to make this as comfortable for you as possible.”

 

“Thank you,” whispered Erestor from behind strands of dark hair. “May I leave now?” The truth was that he didn’t want to return to his room, his new prison. He craved being close to Elrond instead, but also knew the half-Elf was busy ruling Imladris.

 

“Aye, you may leave.” Elrond sat down and watched the silent and dark form leave the room. “Glorfindel was right,” he muttered privately. “You are easily frightened and intimidated, and yet there is something about you that tells me you are very strong. A true survivor.” Frowning, he realized something else as well. “And your eyes. They remind me of someone… who?” The answer was on the tip of his tongue, but he just couldn’t label it.

 

Dismissing the thought for now, he headed for his study to take care of his usual daily affairs. But being honest with himself, he had to admit that he was looking forward to having dinner with Erestor. Tonight, he would join the others in the Hall of Fire and partake in the evening meal. He would tell Lindir to assign Erestor a place at his table so he could talk with the mysterious Elf some more.

 

TBC

 

Beta read by Sulien.

All remaining mistakes are mine.

 

Heart in Chains

Part 20

 

 

Haldir eyed Glorfindel carefully when the Elda mounted Asfaloth. Glorfindel had suggested inspecting the southern borders today and Haldir had been unable to refuse when asked to accompany him. After all, Elrond was doing Celeborn a big favor by letting Erestor stay here. The least he could do to repay that debt was to share his strategic knowledge with Glorfindel.

 

“Are you always this quiet, Haldir of ‘Lorien?” asked Glorfindel in a teasing tone. He was leading today’s patrol, which consisted of twenty of Imladris’ finest warriors. Normally the twins would also accompany him, but an insane urge to extract revenge for Celebrian had sent them onto the road, eager to slay as many Orcs as possible. He missed their presence, their teasing remarks. They had become completely different people since Celebrian had been attacked and he was afraid their hearts would never open again. Looking at Haldir, he saw the smug smile on the handsome face and wondered about the other. “I thought you would be more talkative, my friend.”

 

Haldir’s smile turned into a smirk. “You are the first to think me that, Glorfindel. My brothers are the talkative ones.” He preferred a comfortable silence when possible.

 

Glorfindel pretended to pout. “Then I will do my best to change that!”

 

Haldir gave the Elda an impish grin. Glorfindel was very pleasant company and he continued to steal glances at the blond Elda. The Balrog Slayer was a stunning sight, effortlessly guiding Asfaloth through the bushes so they could reach the hidden path the Elda had mentioned earlier.

 

Once they were on that path, Glorfindel gently kneed Asfaloth closer to Haldir’s horse and wondered about the stunning smile and adoring expression in the other’s hazel eyes. They sparkled with life and energy and seemed to draw him in. Although the silence between them felt right and comfortable, he desired to hear the march warden’s melodic voice again, and asked, “I do not recall that you ever visited Imladris before.”

 

Haldir nodded once. “Your memory does not deceive you. This is my first time here.”

 

“And do you like our valley?” What Glorfindel really wanted to ask was, ‘Do you like me?’ But making such an inquiry might be rushing things and he was more diplomatic than that.

 

“What I have seen of it seems very peaceful and beautiful,” replied Haldir honestly. “And I will do my best to help improve your men’s training, if that is possible.”

 

“Elrond and I greatly appreciate your help.” Glorfindel smiled warmly at the march warden, wondering what the future held in store for them.

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

“Yield!” demanded Glorfindel, grinning impishly. He had managed to roll Haldir beneath him during their sparring match and had now placed his knife at the silver-haired Elf’s throat, careful not to draw any blood.

 

“Never,” growled the march warden. Haldir of ‘Lorien would never yield to anyone in battle – love, being a different matter, but not in battle. He wrestled his right arm free, curled it around the Elda’s neck and managed to flip them over, landing him successfully on top of the Balrog Slayer, who looked rather shocked.

 

Glorfindel heard his men giggle and cursed Haldir’s idea to demonstrate this particular move to him with them present. It seemed he had finally met his match in battle.

 

“Yield,” whispered Haldir sweetly, carefully keeping any victorious feelings he might have out of his voice. Looking deeply into Glorfindel’s azure eyes, he realized he was embarrassing the Elf in front of his men. Glorfindel couldn’t yield, even if he wanted to. “It was a good fight,” said Haldir, pleased, jumping to his feet and extending his hand in offer to Glorfindel. “Allow me to help you back to your feet.”

 

Glorfindel appreciated the fact that Haldir was giving him an honorable way out and accepted the limb, letting Haldir pull him back onto his feet. “You need to teach me that move.”

 

“I will.”

 

Glorfindel felt mesmerized, seeing the laughter and pleasure in those hazel eyes. Haldir seemed to exist of light and energy and he was drawn to it like a moth to a flame. /One warrior to another. We are the same./

 

That exact thought had drifted through Haldir’s mind as well. And like a warrior, he planned to take what he wanted. Glorfindel would fight him, and he wasn’t sure which of them would win this battle, but one way or the other, their future would be decided shortly.

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

After their bout, they mounted again and returned to inspecting the borders. Hazel and azure eyes regularly sought out one another, casting probing glances and trying to find out where the other stood.

 

Haldir was growing hopeful that his feelings were mutual and couldn’t help flashing back to Erestor’s advice to seduce Glorfindel. But contrary to popular belief, he wasn’t a flirt and had little experience when it came to seduction. So how did one go about seducing a Balrog Slayer?

 

Said Balrog Slayer was entertaining similar thoughts. He was still trying to understand why the attraction hadn’t been there three thousand years ago, but maybe they had been too stressed at the time. He cast a longing glance at Haldir, but the silver-haired Elf was scanning the horizon. He had never felt such an attraction before and he hoped Haldir felt it too. But how was he to find out? If he made a move now he would seem insincere and rushed, as they had just met, but his body begged to differ. During the sparring match, when he had straddled Haldir, he had grown hard with desire and if his men hadn’t been watching them, he would have been tempted to simply rip the tunic from Haldir’s body. Such lust, such passion was new to him and was quickly taking over. He wasn’t sure how long he could withstand the desire to devour Haldir alive.

 

Haldir sighed softly, hoping Glorfindel hadn’t noticed his aroused state when he had managed to reverse their positions during their sparring match. He ached for the blond, wanted to taste him, make him come and swallow every drop the Balrog Slayer would give him. He stopped himself when his fantasies got more vivid, imagining Glorfindel squirming beneath him, whilst he thrust into the welcoming body.

 

“Haldir?”

 

Glorfindel’s voice shook him from his fantasies and he quickly composed himself. But how much longer could he fight off this desire to ravage the Elda? These feelings were quickly overwhelming him and causing him to stop thinking rationally. “We will return to Imladris before nightfall and I was wondering if… if you would agree to joining me for dinner in my rooms? The Hall of Fire can be rather loud at times and sabotage a good conversation.” Aiya, he hoped he wasn’t too transparent by issuing this invitation. He wasn’t sure *if* anything would happen once they were alone and had some privacy, but he was curious to find out.

 

“I am honored and accept your generous offer,” said Haldir in a hoarse voice, hoping Glorfindel had issued that invitation for the same reason that he had accepted it. Tonight would certainly be interesting.

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

Erestor spent the day inside his rooms. He had carried several pillows to the balcony, creating a nice, comfortable nest there. Sinking back into his soft pile of pillows, he listened to the song of the birds and the gentle splashing of the waterfall when it reached the stony surface. Imladris was beautiful and he wouldn’t mind spending the rest of his life here as a scribe or servant.

 

He would have preferred to work here as a healer, but he couldn’t reveal his healing powers to Elrond. There was too much risk that the half-Elf would then connect him to the healer who had saved his life, and he wasn’t comfortable with Elrond finding out the truth. What if Elrond for some reason decided that the baby was solely his and would take her away from him? He couldn’t rule out that the half-Elf would be furious with him for keeping his secrets.

 

It was clear that he had to keep his identity a secret and he had to implore Haldir not to let anything slip to Glorfindel. He smiled, happy for Haldir that he was in love again. It would be best for the march warden to get over him by falling for Glorfindel. /Haldir has to forget about me. We never had a future to begin with./

 

Closing his eyes, he focused on the little one growing inside him and he gasped softly, feeling the baby’s first kick. “Oh, you are a feisty one!” He had felt that! “Are you trying to tell me something?”

 

Elrond’s words returned to him, telling him to eat more. That reminded him, the breakfast tray was still on the table in his bedroom. Maybe he should try to eat something. He pushed himself to his feet, keeping one hand beneath his abdomen and sat down in front of the breakfast tray. The tea had long grown cold, but there was water as well and he drank that. Next were the apple and the strawberries. He already felt full, but knew the baby needed something more substantial to grow. He tried the raspberry preserves that had been placed beside the bread and managed to eat three slices.

 

Feeling full and bloated, he struggled back to his feet. “I hope you are happy now, little one.” The baby reacted with another fierce kick and Erestor hoped she was merely expressing her approval.

 

Once he was settled down amidst his pillows again, he wondered why he was so convinced that his baby was a girl. It was instinctual, he assumed.

“I will do everything I can to make sure you are happy here.” He realized he should start thinking of a name, but didn’t want to jinx it, as he was still afraid that he would suffer another miscarriage.

 

Leaning back into the pillows, he realized he had seldom felt happier. Maybe when he had lived with Elwing and had felt part of her little family. /It is strange how everything went. I minded Elrond when he was a baby and now I am carrying his child. When did everything become this complicated?/

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

Having been lured into a state of relaxation, Erestor watched Arien begin to move lower in the sky. Ithil was already rising, telling him he must have spent many hours here on the balcony. It was probably time for dinner and he wondered if another tray would be delivered to his room. Ah, well, he could hear it from here if someone knocked on his door, and he couldn’t be bothered to move now that he was this comfortable. And to be honest, he wasn’t sure if he could still get up.

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

“Elrond?” Glorfindel stepped into the half-Elf’s study and searched the stormy eyes. Elrond always appreciated his company during the evening meals, but tonight, Glorfindel had different plans. “I won’t be joining you for dinner.”

 

Elrond raised an eyebrow. “And why might that be?” Although it was really none of his business, he liked to tease his friend once in a while. Especially now when Glorfindel’s skin was flushed and the eyes rather dilated.

 

“I asked Haldir to join me for dinner in my rooms.” Glorfindel saw no reason to lie to the Peredhel. Knowing Elrond, the half-Elf would quickly find out what was going on in his household anyway.

 

“Haldir of ‘Lorien?” Elrond gave Glorfindel a cocky smile. “May I assume there is a reason why you did that? I gather you would like to compare battle strategies? Discuss tactics? Maybe spar?”

 

“Someone already told you,” groaned Glorfindel, collapsing on the chair opposite Elrond’s desk.

 

“I overheard two of your men when I went for my daily walk in the gardens. It seems you were bested, my dear Glorfindel.” Elrond grinned broadly.

 

“I did not yield!” said Glorfindel in a pouting tone, ashamed that Elrond had heard about the embarrassing performance he had given.

 

“Nay, you did not have to because he saved your honor by helping you to your feet.” Elrond rose from behind the desk, covered the distance between them, and rested his hands on the armrests of Glorfindel’s chair, effectively keeping his commanding officer in place. “And now you are blushing and averting your eyes?” His thoughts raced. “My, Glorfindel, should I assume that you are in love with our beautiful march warden?”

 

“You think Haldir beautiful?” Glorfindel sized Elrond up, as if considering him competition.

 

That jealous reaction brought a grin to Elrond’s face. “Peace, my dear friend, I do not desire Haldir!” Although he acted cheerfully most of the time, he still missed Celebrian. She had been his other half for so long. But thanks to his mysterious healer, he no longer grieved for her and had again found his zest for life. If only he could thank his savior for that!

 

“You are not interested in him?” Glorfindel wasn’t sure if Elrond was merely teasing him.

 

“I am not interested in Haldir,” said Elrond reassuringly. “Even if I were, I doubt my children would approve of me taking a new mate so soon after their mother sailed for Valinor.”

 

“Are the twins still hunting Orcs?”

 

“Aye, and I won’t feel at peace until they return safely home.” The light-hearted tone had vanished and Elrond began to pace his study. “I expect Arwen to arrive home in a few days.” She had retreated to a small cottage further up the Bruinen to have some privacy for quiet reflection.

 

Glorfindel rose from his chair, hoping Elrond had been sincere when he had said he wasn’t interested in his march warden. “Celebrian told you to love again before she left.”

 

“I know that,” said Elrond, sighing. “But my family is not ready yet for a new addition.”

 

Glorfindel had almost reached the doorway when he turned around. “I almost forgot to ask… How does our pregnant Elf fare?”

 

“I examined him. As long as no complications occur, he should be able to carry the child to full-term. But you were right when you told me he was easily frightened. I barely had a chance to study his face, as he was constantly hiding behind his hair.”

 

Glorfindel realized he had forgotten to ask Haldir about their mysterious healer, and said, “I want to wait a little longer before questioning Haldir on your savior. I do not want him to think that I am befriending him in order to gather that information when I am truly interested in him.”

 

“Haldir of ‘Lorien has the reputation of being an excellent warrior, Glorfindel. You might want to be tactful and cautious for a change.”

 

Growling, Glorfindel replied, “I already know he can best me. I will be careful all right.”

 

“You are excused then, but I would like for you and Haldir to join me tomorrow evening. Erestor might feel more at ease with Haldir close.”

 

Glorfindel hadn’t considered that in his desire to get Haldir alone. “I will be there tomorrow evening.”

 

“Good, you may leave then.” Elrond returned to his desk and sat down to finish the day’s paper work. Realizing Glorfindel hadn’t left yet, he looked at the Elda. “Yes?”

 

“Are you going to keep an eye on Erestor? When I asked Haldir to join me I did not think of the effect it might have on our pregnant Elf.”

 

“I will look after him,” said Elrond reassuringly. “And now take a bath, Glorfindel, if you want a chance with Haldir you’d better not stink of horse and dirt!”

 

“Maybe he likes that smell,” teased Glorfindel in return.

 

“You do not really want to find out! Go!” Elrond shooed Glorfindel from his study and once the blond was gone, he realized it was time to change for dinner. He had been working all day long and a bath and a clean set of clothes was just what he needed.

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

Haldir dotingly stared at Erestor, who was still asleep amidst a cloud of pillows. He had first wanted to wake the dark-haired Elf, but had then reconsidered. Erestor needed his rest and he had seen the nearly empty breakfast tray. His main concern had been that Erestor hadn’t eaten all day, but now he felt reassured. “I will check on you later.” Much depended on how his ‘date’ with Glorfindel went.

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

Elrond frowned; everyone had arrived for dinner, which was about to be served, except Erestor. Looking at Lindir, who sat to his left, he asked, “Did Erestor tell you why he is not joining us?”

 

Lindir’s eyes widened slightly. “My Lord, I have not spoken with him since his arrival. I assumed you would tell him to join us for dinner.”

 

“Then he does not know he is expected here.” Elrond felt the overwhelming urge to bite his fingernails, an old habit that he thought he had overcome millennia ago. But now he felt nervous, as well as guilty for being such a poor host.

 

“I will ask Erestor to join us.” Lindir began to rise from his chair, but sat back down again, seeing Elrond raise a hand.

 

“Nay, stay. I will see to that.” Elrond pushed back his chair and signaled for the servants to start serving dinner. “Erestor and I will join you later.”

 

A soft murmur traveled through the Hall of Fire. They were more than willing to wait until Elrond would join them again, but no one dared to disagree with their Lord.

 

Elrond left the hall and headed for the guest quarters, where he hoped to find Erestor. What else had he forgotten to tell Erestor? Briefly, his thoughts drifted to Glorfindel and Haldir, who were having a private dinner. Ever since Glorfindel had returned from the great Halls of Waiting he had hoped that the blond would find a suitable mate. It wasn’t the way of the Elves to stay unattached. /I hope you are up to the challenge, my dear Glorfindel./ He had heard on several occasions that Haldir could be stubborn and a handful. /Well, in that case they are evenly matched./ Glorfindel also was a pain in the butt at times.

 

He had finally reached his destination and knocked on the door to Erestor’s rooms. “Erestor? May I come inside?” When he didn’t get an answer, he grew worried and knocked again. “Erestor? Is all well? Would you please answer me?” But still there was no reply.

 

“Erestor?” Carefully, he turned the doorknob, finding that Erestor hadn’t locked the door. Soundlessly, he entered and looked about. The first thing he noticed was that Erestor was nowhere in sight. The breakfast tray was still on the table, but as he looked around, he grew worried. Where was Erestor?

 

Then he noticed the missing pillows from the bed and couch. Where had they gone? The balcony doors were wide open and Elrond slowly stepped onto the balcony, smiling when he found Erestor fast asleep amidst the soft fabrics. But then his gaze darkened. Had Erestor been here all day? He would have expected some curiosity from the Elf, who might have explored the Last Homely House a bit, but now he realized that Erestor had done nothing of the kind. Erestor had stayed in his rooms after the examination. That really wasn’t acceptable. Erestor might have had enough fresh air out here on the balcony, but he needed some exercise as well. /I have to take charge and make sure things happen differently from tomorrow on./

 

The current circumstances did leave him with a dilemma, as he didn’t want to startle Erestor awake. /But I have to wake him up. He needs to eat something./ Experimentally, he cleared his throat, hoping it was enough to wake Erestor.

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

Something disturbed his formerly peaceful sleep and he startled awake, finding Elrond towering over him. “My Lord!” Quickly, he tried to push himself to his feet, but failed, losing his balance when he stumbled over his own two feet.

 

Elrond instinctively reached out and caught the stumbling Elf. “Be at peace. I am merely here to remind you that it is time for dinner.”

 

“Dinner?” Big-eyed and forgetting he was supposed to hide behind his long hair, he stared searchingly into Elrond’s eyes.

 

“Aye, dinner. You cannot afford to miss a single meal in your current state.” Elrond still had a tight hold on Erestor’s arm and used it to steady the other Elf. “Will you join me for dinner?”

 

“I… you did not have to… not hungry…” A bit startled to find Elrond this close, Erestor averted his eyes, wondering why Elrond had come himself to tell him that it was time for dinner.

 

“I do not believe you are not hungry.” Elrond carefully steered Erestor toward the bathroom. “Would you like to freshen up first?”

 

“Yes…” Erestor swallowed hard, and moved into the bathroom the moment Elrond released his arm. He closed the door behind him and stared at the mirror. What was he supposed to do? Did Elrond want to dine with him privately or would he have to face an entire room of Elves? He wasn’t sure he could do that.

 

Trying to regain his composure, Erestor splashed some cold water onto his face. His hair was a tangled mass and he quickly ran a comb through the strands, biting down the pain when he encountered a knot. Listening closely, he could hear Elrond pace his bedroom. By the Valar, the Peredhel was still there! Probably waiting for him! There was no way out of this! Drawing in a deep breath, he hoped he would survive this evening.

 

He stepped into the bedroom once more and immediately sensed Elrond’s probing eyes on him. “I am ready to go.” He felt somewhat proud, realizing his voice sounded steady.

 

“Allow me to guide you to the Hall of Fire.” Elrond caught Erestor sharply drawing in his breath and wondered why. “And in case you are wondering, Haldir won’t join us tonight. It appears Glorfindel and Haldir have a lot to discuss.” Eyeing Erestor closely, he was pleasantly surprised to find a stunning smile on the handsome face. Apparently Erestor had noticed the attraction and approved. /I am glad he does. Things might have turned awkward if he continued to need Haldir close. I wonder what the exact nature of their relationship is./

 

Erestor nodded absentmindedly. “Aye, I assume two warriors like them have a lot to talk about.” But he did regret missing Haldir’s company. Then he chided himself. Haldir was entitled to a life – and love – of his own. “I do not know Lord Glorfindel that well, but they seem equally matched.”

 

“Aye, they are.” Elrond proceeded to tell Erestor about the sparring match, hoping it would break the ice between them, as he found he liked Erestor’s quiet, but solid company.

 

“Haldir defeated him?” A smile seemed plastered onto his face, trying to imagine the look on Haldir’s face when he told the famous Balrog Slayer to yield.

 

“Haldir has quite a reputation as a warrior.” Elrond hoped that talking about Haldir might bridge the emotional distance between them. Again, he wondered why Erestor seemed so familiar. And again he failed to recall exactly why.

 

“He has been my champion for many millennia.” Erestor bit his bottom lip. Why had he let that one slip?

 

“For how long have you known him?”

 

“Over five thousand years,” replied Erestor, realizing he had to be more careful in future. Elrond was intelligent and would find out the truth about him, otherwise.

 

They had reached the Hall of Fire and Erestor tensed. Every Elf in Imladris seemed to have gathered here, but he knew he was only seeing a fraction of the valley’s inhabitants. “Do I really have to go inside?” Oops, had he really said that aloud? He had merely wanted to think it.

 

“Would you prefer a more private setting?” Elrond was more than willing to humor his guest.

 

“No!” said Erestor quickly, preferring this crowd to being alone with the half-Elf.

 

“Let us join them then.” Elrond carefully took hold of Erestor’s arm and guided the pregnant Elf to the main table, where Lindir and a few other Elves were seated. He now felt grateful that his table stood slightly apart from the crowd. “Please sit down here.”

 

Erestor’s eyes widened, realizing he was sitting at Elrond’s right side -- at the main table. He hadn’t expected that. Gingerly, he seated himself. He had hoped to blend in with the crowd, but he could forget about that now. A servant appeared beside him, placing a plate in front of him. It was filled with various fruits and his stomach growled, reminding him he had to eat for two.

 

“Eat,” decreed Elrond, smiling at Erestor’s surprise. /What was his life like in Lothlorien? I will try to make him open up to me. Maybe he knows something about my mysterious healer./

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

When the second course was placed in front of him, Erestor realized he was being served food items that were different from the others. Why?

 

Catching Erestor’s questioning look, Elrond quickly explained. “I asked the cook to prepare some special dishes for you. You need to be on a special diet and these foods were selected because they will stimulate the baby’s growth and strengthen you.”

 

“That was very thoughtful of you,” mumbled Erestor in a tiny voice. He was surprised that Elrond had done that for him and it urged him to eat as much as possible. When he had left Lothlorien, he had thought that he would see Elrond just for the examinations, but now he wondered if the half-Elf wanted to befriend him as well. It was more than he had ever hoped for.

 

TBC


	3. Chapter 3

Heart in Chains

Part 21

 

Haldir was displeased with the lack of clothing at his disposal. When they had fled Lothlorien, he had packed only one spare set, hoping to acquire more clothing in Imladris. However, he hadn’t had the time to do that yet, so he slipped back into the colors of the Galadhrim. At least the bath he had taken had refreshed him. His still damp hair needed combing and braiding, and he sat down in front of the mirror to attend to the tangled strands.

 

A few minutes later, the braids were back in place. Studying his reflection, he knew it had to do. There was nothing more he could do to improve his looks and he left his room, heading for Glorfindel’s.

 

What would happen tonight? Now that he’d had the time to ponder the day’s events, he was rather convinced that the attraction was mutual. Why else would Glorfindel stutter when issuing that invitation? /This will be interesting, considering neither of us will yield to the other./ He grinned, picturing them wrestling each other to find out who would get to be on top during their first sexual encounter. As always, he was fairly confident that he would win, especially after their sparring match. /And then I can do whatever I want to do to him./ That thought alone caused him to grow erect.

 

When he reached the door to Glorfindel’s rooms, he knocked and waited for an answer. He expected Glorfindel to tell him to enter, not fling the door open and stare at him with big eyes.

 

“Haldir.” Glorfindel swallowed hard at the sight of the march warden’s ethereal beauty. The long, silver hair was partly braided, but wayward strands still teased the guardian’s handsome face. The clothes brought out the muscular chest and Glorfindel found himself nearly drowning in those sparkling eyes. “Please come inside.”

 

Haldir approved of Glorfindel’s appearance in turn. The Balrog Slayer had apparently bathed as well, smelling of pine and daffodils. He had changed into a blue shirt that highlighted his azure eyes. Knee-high boots of soft leather completed the look, along with black leggings. His groin stirred and he felt the urge to throw Glorfindel against the wall and take him standing upright. Haldir forced himself to leave his daydreams for what they were and said, “Good evening, my friend.” When Glorfindel closed the door behind him, he caught a weak blush on the Elda’s face, which led him to believe that the attraction was still growing on Glorfindel’s part. /Good./

 

“A good evening to you too,” said Glorfindel, hoping his voice sounded steady. He didn’t feel in control at all – it seemed to be slipping away from his very hands, looking at Haldir. “I hope you brought a good appetite.”

 

“Oh, I am hungry all right,” stated Haldir teasingly, hoping Glorfindel would read between the lines. To make sure there was no way the blond could misunderstand, he provocatively licked his lips.

 

Glorfindel panted softly and had to avert his gaze. /The Valar help me. I want to devour him alive./ Recalling he was to act as Haldir’s host, he directed his guest to the table. “Please sit down.”

 

Haldir made himself comfortable, quickly identifying the food items. He had somewhat of a sweet tooth and favored the starter with fruits and the dessert, a tempting looking cake with sugar coating… and there was cream as well. His day couldn’t get any better.

 

Glorfindel, more nervous than he had ever been before, stared at the strawberries. How was he going to address this attraction between them without making a complete fool of himself? What if he was wrong and Haldir wasn’t interested in him at all? Peeking at Haldir, he saw that the guardian’s smug smirk was back in place.

 

Haldir felt Glorfindel’s tension and wondered about the same thing. /What do I have to lose? I am fairly sure he wants me in return./ Taking the initiative, he selected a fat strawberry and brought it to Glorfindel’s lips, running it along the blond’s bottom lip. “Do you like strawberries?”

 

“I do,” whispered Glorfindel breathlessly, realizing Haldir was willing to take the risk. In that case, he could do no less, and parted his lips and teeth.

 

Glorfindel’s reaction made Haldir even more hopeful, and he pushed the sweet fruit past the open lips. When he wanted to pull back, he involuntarily held his breath, at the delicate sensation of Glorfindel sucking his fingertip. The dark pupils in a sea of blue had dilated and left little to the imagination as to what Glorfindel wanted to do to him. “You feel it too, then?” This would be easier than he had thought.

 

“Aye, I do,” whispered Glorfindel, letting the digit slip from his lips. “What are we going to do about this attraction?”

 

“Always direct,” said Haldir, paying him a compliment. “I suggest we act on our feelings.”

 

For one long moment Glorfindel simply stared at Haldir. “If we did that, we would be considered married.” And that was a big step. “Are you here to stay, Haldir? Or will you be heading back for the Golden Wood?”

 

“I am here to stay, Glorfindel, though I must admit I still feel Lothlorien’s call in my heart.”

 

Glorfindel considered the answer carefully. “I gather you are not married then?”

 

Haldir felt he had to be honest. “There is one I care greatly for, but I am not married to him, as he is already bound to someone else. But I would not give up this friendship if you made it a condition. He depends too much on me.”

 

“Erestor,” said Glorfindel in a moment of complete understanding. “He is one of the strangest Elves I have ever met.”

 

“His life has been one of pain, misunderstanding and sacrifice,” said Haldir in a compassionate tone. “Once you get to know him, you will understand.”

 

“I would never make it a condition,” said Glorfindel, “that you give up your friendship with Erestor.”

 

“I knew you would not,” said Haldir, teasingly, picking up another strawberry and offering it to Glorfindel. This time the Elda wrapped his tongue around his finger and licked it. Glorfindel liked to play, then. “A game, perhaps?”

 

“A game?” Glorfindel frowned, surprised at the change in topic.

 

“Do you have a chess board in your rooms?” Haldir would be surprised if Glorfindel didn’t. The Elf struck him as a very good strategist and tactician, and chess honed one’s skills in both of these areas.

 

“Of course I have one.” Glorfindel rose from his chair and retrieved the game, which he placed on the table next to the strawberries.

 

“I suggest a game,” said Haldir, his eyes burning with passion. “The loser will yield to the winner, who will have earned the right to claim a reward.”

 

“What kind of reward?” Glorfindel’s eyes narrowed.

 

“As we have not yet properly discussed marriage, we should start with a reward… less penetrating.”

 

Glorfindel blinked, and then shook his head. “Life will never be boring with you around, Haldir of ‘Lorien.”

 

Haldir grinned impishly. “Good.”

 

They set up their pieces and Haldir insisted Glorfindel took white, thusly making the first move. He had suggested the game to give them some time to talk and sort out their thoughts and feelings. Their gazes met over the game and Haldir’s gaze followed Glorfindel’s hand when the Elda selected a raspberry. Smiling, he parted his lips, inviting Glorfindel to feed it to him.

 

Which was exactly what Glorfindel did. The Elda’s toes curled, feeling Haldir suckle his fingertip when he pushed the fruit into the welcoming mouth.

 

“I suggest you concentrate on the game, my friend,” said Haldir impishly.

 

“You are making that hard.” Glorfindel groaned, realizing what he had just said. It hadn’t been intentional!

 

“Hard? You are already hard?” Haldir ran his tongue over his bottom lip.

 

“You do not play fair!”

 

“Oh, I was not aware that was a requirement,” laughed Haldir wickedly. But then he forced himself to calm down. “So, what are your thoughts on marriage?”

 

Glorfindel realized they had returned to the core of their ‘negotiations’ and replied honestly, “I have never been married before, Haldir. I find it hard

– no, simply difficult – to take that step.” He hoped Haldir would let his slip go unnoticed. How else could he concentrate on this subject if Haldir continued to make such innuendo?

 

“Is it my charming personality or…?” As it was his way to deal with nervousness and insecurity, he hid behind his ‘cockiness’ or arrogance, as others would call it.

 

Glorfindel smiled warmly. “So far you have been the only one I ever considered being married to.”

 

“Ah, so there is hope yet?” Haldir moved one of his pieces, seeing a weak spot in Glorfindel’s defenses.

 

“There is always hope,” said Glorfindel firmly. “Haldir, have you ever been married?”

 

“Nay, I have not been married either. There were some… distractions… throughout the millennia, but…”

 

“Was Erestor such a distraction?” Glorfindel hoped he wasn’t pushing it, but he had to know where Haldir stood in this matter.

 

Haldir’s gaze softened. “For some time I was in love with Erestor, but as he is already bound to someone, our love never stood a chance. We always knew the day would come when our paths would separate.”

 

“And he agrees with that?” Glorfindel still wasn’t sure what to make of Erestor.

 

“Erestor told me to find out if the attraction was mutual and if it was, he wanted me to seduce you,” said Haldir, amused when Glorfindel’s eyes widened. “He wants me to be happy.”

 

“And he would not continue to be a distraction to you?” Glorfindel had a few more questions for Haldir and wanted them answered before giving this marriage proposal any real thought.

 

“Erestor is a good friend, and the Valar know he needs more friends. It is hard to describe what I feel for him. I love him, but no longer as a lover. He has become… like a brother to me.”

 

“Speaking of Erestor…” Glorfindel carefully considered his next question. “You mentioned him being bound, then where is his mate? Shouldn’t his mate be there for him in these trying times?”

 

Haldir growled softly, wondering how to answer that one without having to lie to Glorfindel. “The baby’s father is not available at the moment.”

 

Glorfindel raised an eyebrow at the evasive answer, but allowed it. “If I agreed to this marriage…” Suddenly he didn’t know how to phrase this.

 

“Are you inquiring about my abilities as a lover?” Haldir studied Glorfindel’s last move and then took the Balrog Slayer’s Knight.

 

Glorfindel groaned, having lost an important piece to the march warden. He was losing the game!

 

“I have been told I have a very talented tongue,” said Haldir, hoping to do away with Glorfindel’s nervousness. “I would be more than willing to demonstrate should I win this game.”

 

“Damn you! How can I concentrate when you continue to say things like that!” Glorfindel had made a move and had now lost another piece to Haldir. “You are distracting me.”

 

“I can distract you in much more enjoyable ways,” hinted Haldir.

 

Glorfindel gulped, when one of Haldir’s hands found its way under the table to squeeze his knee. Distracted, he moved his Queen.

 

Haldir saw the move and realized he had won. But before declaring victory, he moved his hand further up Glorfindel’s thigh to cup the other Elf’s groin. “So what do you say, Glorfindel of Gondolin, do you accept my marriage proposal?”

 

“Forever is a long time,” mumbled Glorfindel, growing erect now that Haldir was kneading his member. “Especially being married to you.”

 

“I do have some good character traits… At least I have been told so.” Haldir gave Glorfindel a wink, feeling the blond grow aroused beneath his fingers.

 

Glorfindel closed his eyes in bliss, wondering what else Haldir wanted to do with him. “’Tis unexpected.”

 

“But we both crave this and I do think we are evenly matched. I doubt we would regret taking this step.” Haldir, sobering, removed his hand and took Glorfindel’s Queen.

 

Glorfindel stared at the board in utter disbelief. Haldir had actually won!

 

Creating some distance between them, Haldir pushed back his chair and watched Glorfindel closely. “Or do you require more time to consider this marriage proposal?”

 

Glorfindel was surprised that Haldir wasn’t gloating because he had just won. Studying the hazel eyes, he read respect and honor in them, a fierce desire to protect, and to right all wrongs. They were the same in many ways. /From one warrior to another… We would understand one another without words./

 

Remaining motionless was one of the hardest things Haldir had ever done, but if Glorfindel needed time to consider this, he was going to give it to the Elda. But the longer the silence lasted, the more worried he became that he would get a ‘nay’ for an answer.

 

Glorfindel studied Haldir in turn. The guardian was beautiful on the inside and out – worthy of him. “I accept.”

 

Haldir’s eyes burned with pleasure. “You will never regret that decision.” Pushing his chair further away from the table, he rose from it and went to stand in front of his new lover. Extending his right hand, he invited Glorfindel to rise as well.

 

After drawing in a deep breath, Glorfindel got to his feet. “But I will never yield.”

 

Haldir laughed warmly. “You lost the game, my love.”

 

Glorfindel’s eyes darkened at being reminded of that. “And what reward do you claim?”

 

“Let us start with a kiss.” Haldir placed a hand at the nape of his lover’s neck and slowly guided Glorfindel’s lips to his. He wasn’t sure just how much experience his lover had when it came to lovemaking and was looking for signs that would tell him.

 

Glorfindel allowed Haldir to guide him in this, although his instincts told him to take control of the situation. Pulling his head back slightly, he savored the sensation of Haldir’s soft lips against his and when a tongue nudged against his teeth, he instinctively parted them. The kiss was unique in his experience, and it made him weak in the knees. Haldir certainly was a talented kisser!

 

Haldir tightened his hold on Glorfindel by slipping an arm around the blond’s waist. Glorfindel’s essence was melting against his tongue and he wanted to taste a lot more of his Balrog Slayer.

 

Glorfindel’s eyes fastened on Haldir’s, reading the desire in them and he wondered what would happen next. Maybe now was the time to tell Haldir something his lover should know before they took this further. “Haldir?”

 

“Yes, my love?” Haldir delighted in running the tip of his tongue down Glorfindel’s throat, teasingly licking below his Adams apple.

 

“I have not… been with a male in this way before…” Sparks of desires erupted in his groin, feeling Haldir flick his tongue against his throat. Moaning his need, Glorfindel rested his back against the wall for support.

 

“I already thought so,” whispered Haldir seductively into Glorfindel’s ear. “You can trust yourself to me.”

 

“But… I still refuse… to yield,” panted Glorfindel, who had closed his eyes to focus on the feel of Haldir nibbling on an earlobe.

 

“Do not worry. We won’t go all the way tonight. I want to take my time when making love with you.” But he was hard and in desperate need of release, and judging by the feel of Glorfindel’s hard flesh pressing against his thigh, his lover was in the same predicament. “May I free you from your leggings?” Haldir suspected this passion between them would never extinguish. There was something extremely sexy about his Balrog Slayer and he hoped he pleased Glorfindel in turn.

 

“You may… if I may do the same to you.” Glorfindel forced his eyes open and lost himself in the sparkling hazel eyes. “Ai, you are so beautiful, Haldir. So passionate.”

 

“I told you that I did have some good character traits,” teased Haldir, running his tongue down his lover’s throat while undoing the top buttons of the shirt Glorfindel was wearing. At the same time, he managed to undo the lacing of the blond’s leggings and slid one hand inside.

 

Glorfindel purred and arched his back, involuntarily thrusting against Haldir, who now claimed his lips again, locking them in a passionate kiss. He briefly fumbled with Haldir’s leggings, but then managed to free the other’s erection. Haldir moaned into his mouth when his aroused flesh was set free and that little sound made Glorfindel even more eager for Haldir’s touch.

 

Kissing each other breathless, Glorfindel mewed softly, feeling Haldir’s fingers lock around his shaft. The slow, yet firm pace that Haldir set would quickly bring him to orgasm. Not wanting to leave his lover behind, he returned the favor, stroking Haldir in turn. One of Haldir’s hands found its way into his shirt and then rolled a nipple between his fingertips, causing Glorfindel to thrust against him.

 

Haldir was panting hard, quickly losing the fight not to come yet and he arched his back, finding release in Glorfindel’s hand. Crushing his lover’s lips in a maddening kiss, he passionately suckled the tip of the blond’s tongue.

 

Feeling the hot cream splash onto his hand, Glorfindel took control of the kiss. Pressing his body against Haldir’s, he thrust into his lover’s hand. It was the stimulation he needed to reach orgasm and he sagged against Haldir, finally finding release.

 

Haldir wasn’t prepared to support Glorfindel when the Elda collapsed against him and they went down on their knees, holding each other tightly. Haldir was the first to laugh warmly, hearing Glorfindel’s soft purrs of delight. Supporting one another, Haldir cupped Glorfindel’s chin in the palm of his hand and their gazes met. “Ah, our marriage will be interesting indeed.”

 

Glorfindel giggled, holding Haldir tight. “You surprised me.”

 

“And I still have to demonstrate to you how talented my tongue really is.” As if to prove his point, he stuck out his tongue and wiggled it, grinning wickedly.

 

Glorfindel, unable to act serious, doubled over with laughter. He couldn’t remember the last time laughing had felt this good. “You may demonstrate that the next time you ravage me, my husband to be.”

 

Haldir beamed, being addressed as such. “Something tells me it won’t be long before we will fully consummate our marriage.”

 

“But I won’t yield,” said Glorfindel, snickering softly and wiping tears of mirth from his eyes.

 

“We will see about that,” whispered Haldir wickedly, placing one more kiss on Glorfindel’s lips. “Maybe I will yield instead.”

 

 

Heart in Chains

Part 22

 

 

Elrond kept a watchful eye on Erestor’s food intake during dinner. Each time the other Elf tried to push his plate away – after just a few bites – he would raise an eyebrow, and that was enough to convince Erestor to continue eating, for which Elrond was grateful. He couldn’t and didn’t want to lecture Erestor on not eating properly in front of his entire household.

 

Instead, he tried to catch Erestor’s elusive gaze and when he did, he smiled warmly, hoping to reassure his obviously nervous guest. /Now what can I do to make sure he does not lock himself up in his rooms? I want him to explore the house a bit and maybe… Ah, wait. I will invite him to join me for my daily walk in the gardens. But not here and now, when he already feels uncomfortable./

 

Elrond looked at Lindir and saw an equally worried expression on his friend’s face. When Lindir leaned in closer, Elrond had to strain to hear the whisper, which told him Lindir didn’t want Erestor to hear his words.

 

“My Lord, Erestor is wearing the same clothes he wore last night. I thought he would have changed out of them as they are covered in dust -- and quite frankly, they smell of horse.”

 

Now that Lindir mentioned it, Elrond had to agree. It seemed a talk was in order later.

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

Erestor had managed to stay out of the conversation at his table and continued to hide himself behind his dark hair. He felt incredibly full, having eaten everything the cooks had prepared for him. Elrond’s arching eyebrow had a lot to do with that. He just couldn’t put down his fork when the half-Elf stared at him like that. The baby had also kicked him several times and he hoped she was glad he was eating this much. However, his huge food intake presented him with a problem when he tried to rise once dinner was finished. Embarrassed, he had to sit down again, as his stomach began to cramp up.

 

“Is anything amiss?” inquired Elrond, concerned at having seen Erestor struggle in vain.

 

“I cannot seem to get up,” whispered Erestor embarrassed.

 

“Let me give you a hand, my friend. I will escort you back to your rooms.” Elrond rose from his chair and extended his right hand, hoping Erestor would take it. Earning Erestor’s trust wouldn’t be easy and would take time.

 

Erestor stared at the offered limb for quite some time, but realized he didn’t really have a choice if he wanted to return to his rooms. Releasing a strangled sigh, he took hold of Elrond’s hand and allowed the Peredhel to pull him to his feet.

 

Elrond was reminded of Celebrian, who’d had similar problems when she had been pregnant with the twins and was eager to help Erestor. “Come with me,” he said, guiding Erestor to the doorway. His charge was probably happy to leave the crowded hall.

 

Erestor managed to keep up with Elrond, as the half-Elf guided him through the corridors. He felt heavy and desperately wanted to lie down, but they still had a few more minutes of walking ahead of them before they would arrive at his quarters. He still wondered why Elrond was taking care of him personally. Surely there was another healer who could take over Elrond’s task?

 

“Erestor? May I speak frankly with you?” Erestor tensed at his words, his reaction worrying Elrond further.

 

Those words nearly made Erestor panic, but he managed to control his raging feelings. “What about, my Lord?”

 

“There is no need for titles now. Please call me Elrond.”

 

Erestor felt slightly relieved, but still remained on guard, wishing Haldir were here to help him. He felt vulnerable and helpless now that he had to deal with Elrond alone.

 

“I was wondering why you stayed in your rooms all day long. I expected you to explore your new home and maybe walk in the gardens, where it is cool and shady.” Elrond peeked at Erestor and saw that pallor was spreading over the features.

 

Erestor wasn’t sure what to say. In the end, he opted for the truth. “I want to limit the chances of suffering another miscarriage.”

 

“And you think that confining yourself to your rooms will assure that?” Elrond slowly began to understand his patient’s fears, but there was something else he wanted to ask. “I also wondered if you required the services of my tailor, now that your… girth… will continue to expand.” He congratulated himself on that one. He hoped he had offered his services without embarrassing Erestor – not even mentioning the smelly robes.

 

“I…” Erestor gave Elrond a quick, probing look. “I would appreciate that.” They had reached his quarters and he rested his hand on the doorknob, knowing he owed Elrond an explanation as well as an apology. “I am sorry for bringing this horse’s smell to your table.”

 

“Aiya, you overheard Lindir’s comment.” Elrond wasn’t sure how to react to learning that.

 

“I did, and he is right. I do smell of horse, but… The truth is that I did not bring more clothes.”

 

“Why?” Puzzled, Elrond frowned. “I assumed you knew you were going to live here.”

 

Still opting for the truth, Erestor explained, “Nay, I did not. Haldir only told me a few minutes before we left Lothlorien. I did not have any time to pack.” Not that he owned much to begin with.

 

“I will find you robes to wear for tomorrow and I gather you would appreciate some underwear and a nightshirt as well?” Elrond suddenly realized what a poor host he had been. “I will see to it.”

 

“Thank you,” whispered Erestor, taken aback.

 

Elrond felt strangely shy, standing close to Erestor. For some reason he wanted to touch the other Elf and he gave in to that need, tenderly tucking a strand of raven hair behind a pointed ear. The sudden wave of energy that followed when his fingertips made contact with Erestor’s skin stunned him, but he pretended not to notice when Erestor flinched away from him. /What was that?/

 

The unexpected caress had taken Erestor by surprise, and he couldn’t explain the escape of energy either. Maybe it was because the touch had been an intended caress to make him feel better? But why would he react by sending Elrond part of his life energy? By the Grace of the Valar, he had to be more careful in future! Quickly, he took a step away from Elrond and let his hair fall in front of his face.

 

Elrond was tempted to address the energy transfer, but seeing Erestor’s reaction he realized it was better not to do so. There was no reason to pressure the pregnant Elf for answers; it would only upset him and they had time enough to talk about this, as Erestor would stay here for several years. “You should rest, but first I would like to ask you to accompany me on my daily walk in the gardens tomorrow afternoon. Will you join me? I would like to show you the Bruinen, the waterfalls and the rose gardens.” Slowly, Elrond’s plans were taking shape. “One of my servants will take you to my study.” That way, Erestor wouldn’t feel lost when heading there. /And once he is there, I can find some task for him. Ah, I know what he can do. He can catalogue Thranduil’s lengthy letters. That should keep him busy./ Elrond wanted Erestor to remain busy, as the other Elf struck him as someone who easily fell into depression.

 

“I do not want to be a burden, my Lo—“ Erestor cringed, seeing the disapproving glance in Elrond’s eyes. The half-Elf wanted to do away with titles. “Elrond,” he finished. The name rolled easily off his lips, but the mere fact that he was talking to Elrond made him nervous. He prayed to the Valar that Elrond wouldn’t uncover the truth about him.

 

“You are not a burden,” said Elrond reassuringly. His fingertips itched to make contact with Erestor’s skin again, but he controlled himself. “I find I enjoy your company.” Erestor’s big eyes stared at him in surprise.

 

“How can you enjoy my company?” He had hardly said anything, and the little he had said was because Elrond had coaxed it out of him!

 

Elrond was briefly rendered speechless, stunned by the expression in Erestor’s eyes. /You have a very low opinion of yourself, my friend. We will change that./ Determined not to get into a discussion now, he said, “Lindir will deliver some clothing to you later tonight and he will take you to my study after the noon meal, which you *will* eat.”

 

“I will eat,” said Erestor, sighing. He lowered his eyes and stared at the floor. Elrond was acting like his minder, which was a strange realization, considering he had taken care of the baby Elrond had been millennia ago.

 

“Go and rest, Erestor. You are probably tired.” Elrond was determined to take very good care of his patient. He waited until Erestor had closed the door behind him and then left the corridor, trying to think of more ways to reassure Erestor.

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

Erestor had wrapped himself up in large, soft towels after washing up. He had decided against bathing in the pool, as he felt tired and he was worried that he couldn’t get out by himself. He was drying his hair, when he heard the knock on his door. Looking about for his dirty robes, he realized he didn’t want to slip into them now that he was clean. He sighed, knowing he had to answer the door in his current state and shuffled toward the doorway. “Enter?” he called out timidly, hoping it was Haldir and not some Elf he didn’t know.

 

He pulled the towels closer to his body, seeing it was Lindir, bringing the clothes Elrond had promised. The white-haired Elf was struggling somewhat with the huge pile of garments he was carrying, and panted slightly, depositing the clothes on the chair. “Lord Elrond asked me to deliver these to you.”

 

“Please extend my gratitude to him,” mumbled Erestor from behind his damp hair, hoping Lindir would quickly leave again.

 

“Could I possibly interest you in some light refreshments before going to bed?” Since the cooks had found out they were preparing meals for a pregnant Elf, they were especially eager to please and they had already given him a tray, which now stood in the corridor. A servant had carried it whilst he had struggled with the clothes.

 

Erestor could tell by Lindir’s expression that the white-haired Elf hoped he would accept the offer. Unable to refuse, he nodded. “Yes, please, I would like some.” But he still felt full from dinner. Seeing Lindir step into the corridor and return with a tray, he realized Lindir had already brought the refreshments along. It did make him wonder why everyone was fussing over him.

 

“I will leave you alone now, but please contact me, or a servant, if there is anything you need. Lord Elrond wants you to be comfortable here.” Lindir smiled, bowed slightly and closed the door behind him when he left.

 

Erestor sat down on a chair and shook his head. Haldir, Rumil and Orophin had fussed over him before, but they had a reason to do so, as he had once saved Orophin’s life. However, he had done nothing of the kind for these Elves.

 

Realizing he was slowly driving himself insane by thinking this way, he chose a nightshirt from the pile of clothes and slipped into it. The fabric breathed a fragrance of roses, which made him smile.

 

The tray Lindir had brought still stood on the table, and he gave it a curious look. There was water in a beautifully crafted carafe, fruits and biscuits. He couldn’t resist temptation and slipped a piece of apple into his mouth, sucking on the slice of fruit and relishing the sweet and sour taste. He drank some water and then took the biscuits with him to the bed.

 

After lying down, he pushed the pillows behind him so they supported him whilst lying down and then nibbled on a biscuit. Aye, he was happy here, but happiness never lasted, at least not in his case. It made him wonder what would happen to ruin his bliss.

 

When he finally fell asleep, a frown was deeply etched onto his brow.

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

Glorfindel gave Haldir an amused look. After their ‘passionate’ escapade, they had enjoyed a quick bath and then the march warden had simply acquired his best shirt and most comfortable leggings, which the silver-haired Elf was wearing now. “Are you leaving?” Glorfindel had noticed that Haldir was making for the doorway, which puzzled him. He had assumed they would play some more chess and talk through the night before Haldir would finally leave. 

 

Haldir smiled apologetically. “I need to check on Erestor. He feels out of place and that worries me.”

 

“Would you mind if I joined you?” Glorfindel slipped into his boots and walked over to Haldir. “I find myself curious when it comes to this Elf.”

 

“Only if you promise to behave.” Haldir said the words with a smile accompanying them, but the expression in his eyes said that he meant it. “Erestor is easily intimidated and I would love for the two of you to become friends. I do not want you to start off on the wrong foot.”

 

“I will behave,” promised Glorfindel, growing more curious with every passing minute. “I will be charming.”

 

“You had better.”

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

Haldir sat down on the side of Erestor’s bed, careful not to wake the sleeping Elf. He didn’t know when it had happened, but a healthy blush had appeared on Erestor’s face and there were even some biscuit crumbs in his hair. “He finally started to eat.”

 

“Did you worry about that?” Glorfindel studied Erestor closely when Haldir gently pushed a sleeve up, so he could see the skinny arms. “I understand.”

 

Haldir licked his lips, needing to confide in his new lover. “When he lost the twins he withdrew into himself for nearly three millennia. We were unable to reach him, but we always continued to care for him.”

 

“Three millennia?” Glorfindel’s eyes widened in shock.

 

“He was mourning their deaths,” added Haldir, whilst soothingly stroking the long, raven hair.

 

“And where was his bonded mate then?” asked Glorfindel, unable to keep the disapproval from his voice. What kind of Elf abandoned a mate in need?

 

“Unavailable. My brothers and I took care of him, as well as Lord Celeborn. Maybe now you understand why I am this worried about him.”

 

“I am beginning to understand,” said Glorfindel in a soft tone. “He has suffered much, then?”

 

“Too much, but he seems to be improving now. I always thought that getting him away from Lothlorien would help.”

 

“Lothlorien?” Haldir’s last comment slightly confused Glorfindel.

 

“Galadriel is not fond of him and we often had to protect him from her scheming. But now that he is here, she no longer has any influence on him.”

 

Glorfindel knew he missed several important pieces of this puzzle. Now that Haldir mentioned that Galadriel had some hold on Erestor, he realized he should connect it with something or someone else. But he felt lost.

 

“Ha… Hal… dir?” Sleepy eyes regained a mist of awareness, but Erestor didn’t fully awaken, as he felt safe, knowing Haldir close. “Missed… you.”

 

Haldir leaned in closer and pressed a chaste kiss on the top of Erestor’s head. He couldn’t tell if that action vexed Glorfindel, as the Elda’s face remained unchanged, but he hoped his new lover understood that he couldn’t just stop reassuring and touching Erestor when the other needed it so much. “That is why I am here now. How was your day? Did you leave your rooms at all?”

 

Glorfindel felt a brief stab of jealousy, seeing the care and affection with which Haldir stroked Erestor’s hair, but then he reminded himself that the pregnant Elf had suffered greatly in the past, and he assumed Erestor had only made it because of Haldir. In the state of half-sleep Erestor was in, the dark-haired Elf didn’t seem to notice him and he stepped further away from the bed, realizing he could scare Erestor if the Elf noticed him unexpectedly.

 

“Aye, I… did…” Erestor snuggled deeper into the pillows, relaxed and still half asleep. “Elrond… came for me…”

 

Haldir smiled, knowing the interest Elrond showed was more important than Erestor wanted him to believe. “And did you talk to him?”

 

“Nay… eat,” said Erestor, yawning. “He made me…eat…”

 

“That is good.” Haldir continued to stroke the long strands of hair, knowing more information would follow shortly, and Erestor didn’t disappoint him.

 

“He walked me… back to my…rooms. Had clothes… delivered… and more food…” A giddy smile spread over his face. “Wants me to walk with him… tomorrow… His study…”

 

Haldir gave Erestor a warm and hopeful smile, briefly forgetting about Glorfindel’s presence. “It sounds like he likes you, lirimaer.”

 

“Do you think… so?” Erestor’s smile broadened and he pushed deeper into the comfort of his pillows. “I would… like that.”

 

“I know you would. Now go back to your dreams, Erestor. It sounds like you had a tiring – and exciting – day.” Seeing that Erestor’s eyes were filling with reverie again, he smiled warmly and tucked the blanket tightly around Erestor’s form.

 

“He seems very fond of Elrond,” commented Glorfindel thoughtfully. That was something he hadn’t expected.

 

Haldir bit his bottom lip. He didn’t feel like he had the right to tell Glorfindel about Erestor’s secrets. That was something Erestor had to do himself. “Erestor has led a very secluded life and such kindness from a stranger is unfamiliar to him.”

 

“That must have been a very lonely life, considering he suffered a miscarriage and then withdrew into himself for such a long time.” He felt sympathy for Erestor and slowly began to comprehend why Haldir was this affectionate around the raven-haired Elf. “He has suffered much.”

 

“Aye, and I hope that now he is in Imladris that things will change. I hope he will be happy here, but he cannot accomplish that alone. He will need friends.”

 

“I would be more than happy to offer him my friendship,” said Glorfindel, nodding his head. “I mean it, Haldir. He will have a friend in me.”

 

Haldir carefully rose from the bed after making sure Erestor was still soundly asleep. “Thank you for extending your friendship to Erestor. It means a lot to me.”

 

Glorfindel gracefully accepted the kiss that Haldir placed on his lips. Working together with Elrond, they would find a way to make Erestor’s life less lonely and more enjoyable.

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

The next morning Erestor woke up feeling comfortable in his own little nest. He could get used to sleeping amidst these luxurious pillows. His eyes widened, hearing his stomach growl and one minute later, the baby kicked – hard. “I gather that means you are hungry?” Another kick seemed to confirm his question.

 

As on cue, someone knocked on his door. “Who is it?” His left leg was cramping badly and he struggled into a sitting position. When had his abdomen become this huge?

 

“’Tis I, Lindir. I bring breakfast.”

 

Erestor groaned his displeasure, unable to push himself to his feet. “I am sorry, but I cannot open the door.” At that moment, his lower back decided to cramp up as well, and he sagged into the pillows with a startled yelp.

 

Lindir heard the yelp and immediately opened the door. Worried for the pregnant Elf’s well-being, he rushed inside and placed the tray on the table before heading for the bed. “Is anything amiss? Do you want me to alert Lord Elrond?”

 

“Nay, that won’t be necessary. ‘Tis cramps. I cannot get to my feet.” Erestor knew he had to ride out the cramps before trying to rise again. So he lay back and hoped Lindir would quickly leave him again.

 

Lindir felt helpless. “Is there anything I can do to help?”

 

“A massage would be nice,” the words escaped Erestor before he had thought them through. He was seldom sarcastic, but this was one of those times.

 

“I can do that. Where are the cramps located?” Lindir began to roll up his sleeves so they wouldn’t be in the way.

 

Erestor’s eyes widened in alarm. “No! I was only thinking aloud!”

 

“But I meant what I said. If it helps relieve the cramps, I will massage the affected areas.”

 

Erestor couldn’t stop staring at the white-haired Elf. Why was Lindir offering such a thing? He couldn’t accept the offer anyway. He wasn’t used to strangers touching him. It was only Haldir and his brothers, whom he would allow to massage him in such an intimate way. “I thank you for your kind offer, but I cannot accept.”

 

Lindir’s first reaction was to pressure Erestor into revealing why the dark-haired Elf was so uncomfortable with the idea of a simple massage, but reconsidered, seeing the startled look in the chocolate eyes. “In that case we will wait until the cramps have passed so I may help you to your feet.” Realizing Erestor felt embarrassed by the whole situation, Lindir walked over to the clothes he had dropped off the evening before and began to hang them in the closet.

 

Erestor appreciated what Lindir was doing and briefly closed his eyes. The cramps were already lessening, but his stomach continued to growl, and there was another kick of his baby, urging him to feed himself.

 

After five minutes – just when Lindir had finished putting away the borrowed robes – Erestor made another effort to get to his feet. Before he knew what was happening, Lindir had folded an arm around him and was carefully helping him to his feet. “Thank you.”

 

“No thanks are needed,” said Lindir, carefully steering Erestor toward the breakfast tray. He judged it important that Erestor ate.

 

“Bathroom first… please,” requested Erestor in a soft, embarrassed tone. It was getting harder for him to maintain control of his bladder, now that the baby was growing and pushing on his internal organs.

 

“Of course!” Lindir changed direction and safely delivered Erestor to the bathroom.

 

Erestor closed the door behind him, pushed the nightshirt out of the way and then… /I am growing so large that I cannot even see my feet, let alone my penis./ Overcome by self-loathing, he bowed his head, unable to face his reflection in the mirror. Camfael had warned him that there would be mood swings, but until now he hadn’t taken that warning seriously.

 

“Erestor? Is everything well?” Lindir, concerned now that Erestor was taking an awfully long time in the bathroom, knocked on the door.

 

“I will be out in a moment.” Erestor sighed sorrowfully, and after relieving himself, slipped the nightshirt back into place. Gathering his courage, he opened the door and faced Lindir.

 

“Now, eat.” Lindir eyed Erestor when he made his way over to the table, ready to steady him in case he swayed.

 

Erestor sat down and sipped his tea, cringing when he noticed that Lindir was preparing several slices of bread with marmalade and honey. Lindir even put honey in his tea when the white-haired Elf refilled his cup.

 

“May I lay out your clothes for today?” offered Lindir, eager to help.

 

Erestor swallowed hard. Not even his clothes were his own. “That would be helpful, thank you.”

 

“As I said earlier, there is no reason to keep thanking me. I like doing this for you.” Lindir opened the closet and selected burgundy robes, made from a light material that wouldn’t add to the weight Erestor was already carrying. He added comfortable shoes, gathering Erestor might suffer from swollen ankles before the day was through. He placed everything on the bed. “Is there another way I can be of assistance?”

 

“Nay, th—“ Erestor was stopped short when Lindir gave him a meaningful look, telling him to stop thanking him. “I do not think so. I will take a shower, get dressed and…”

 

Lindir realized Erestor had no idea how to occupy himself during the morning. “Maybe you would like to read in the library? That is until I come to fetch you to meet with Lord Elrond.”

 

“The library?” Erestor liked that idea. There would be books on herb lore and healing in the library. “Aye, I will do that.”

 

“Good. I will return in an hour. That should give you ample time to shower and dress. I will escort you to the library, where I will collect you when it is time to go to Lord Elrond’s study.” Lindir was pleased with himself. That way Erestor wouldn’t get a chance to brood.

 

Erestor realized he had better give in and comply. What was it that set these Imladris Elves apart from the ones in Lothlorien? They were kinder, more supportive. /Except for Haldir, Rumil, Orophin, Celeborn and Camfael that is. They always treated me well./

 

He suddenly realized that Lindir and Elrond had managed to fill most of his day with activities. And he didn’t really mind. Maybe that way, he would be able to get to know them better. He desperately wanted for them to like him.

 

 

Heart in Chains

Part 23

 

 

‘Tell me, Haldir, do you enjoy sleeping in the open?” Glorfindel had much to think about after the visit they had paid Erestor and he needed to see the moon and stars above him tonight.

 

Haldir arched an elegantly curved eyebrow. “I do, though I try to keep my nights in the open limited when I have access to a comfortable bed.”

 

“Would you sleep under the stars with me tonight?” Glorfindel smiled sweetly.

 

“If you desire so,” said Haldir, a bit surprised, but willing to give in to his new lover. He allowed Glorfindel to guide him to the Bruinen, where the Elda showed him a comfortable spot in the soft, thick grass. Lying down, he found he had an excellent view of the river and the stars twinkled brightly above them.

 

Glorfindel moved about until he was also comfortable and then wrapped his arms around his lover’s waist, spooning behind him. He was slightly surprised when Haldir pushed back against him, obviously enjoying the position they were in. “You can sleep peacefully here. No need to remain on guard. I make sure Imladris’ borders are patrolled and no Orc will ever find a way inside.”

 

Haldir frowned at the tone. “You say that as if you have a personal grudge against them.”

 

“I have. After what they did to the Lady Celebrian and her escort, I feel like slaying all of them; rather painfully, I should add.”

 

“I saw Celeborn grieve for his daughter, aye. He was sorry to have her sail for Aman.”

 

Now it was Glorfindel’s turn to be puzzled. “Celeborn only? What about Galadriel?”

 

Haldir turned in the embrace until they were face to face, wondering how much longer he would be able to keep Erestor’s secrets now that Glorfindel was getting so close to him. He couldn’t lie to his new mate; his sense of honor wouldn’t allow it and it would be a very bad way to start their new relationship by keeping secrets. But he couldn’t betray Erestor’s trust either. “I must admit I find it hard to read her emotions.” He watched Glorfindel’s frown deepen. “I have my reasons for disliking her.”

 

“Would you share them with me?” Glorfindel disliked the fact that Haldir was keeping things from him. Having secrets when building a new relationship was not a good omen for their future.

 

“I would gladly share them with you, if they would not endanger someone’s life. I vowed to protect this person from harm and by telling you I would be revealing secrets that could have grave consequences.”

 

“Are you saying that you do not trust me to keep your secrets?” Glorfindel felt hurt now that Haldir didn’t trust him completely. Had he made a mistake in judgment? “I am an honorable warrior, and I would never betray the trust you place in me.”

 

Haldir sighed deeply. “I cannot tell you without obtaining his permission first.” He tenderly caressed the blond’s face. “I want to tell you, but it is not my life and happiness that are at stake here. Please understand.”

 

Glorfindel saw the concern in Haldir’s hazel orbs and realized his lover did want to tell him, but couldn’t. Hazarding an educated guess, he asked, “Is this Elf you vowed to protect by any chance Erestor?”

 

“Am I that transparent?”

 

“I am just thinking logically, love.” Glorfindel added the endearment on purpose to show Haldir that he wasn’t cross with him for keeping his secrets. “Would you obtain permission from him to tell me so we can do away with any secrets between us?”

 

“I will ask him,” said Haldir reluctantly, “But I cannot guarantee that he will allow it.”

 

“I understand.” Glorfindel pressed a kiss on Haldir’s lips and reestablished his hold on the march warden, guiding the silver-haired head to his chest. Cuddled up thusly, they spend the night peacefully beneath the starlit heavens.

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

The next morning both headed back to their quarters for a quick bath and breakfast, but they agreed they would meet again for today’s training. Glorfindel hoped Haldir could point out eventual flaws in his men’s training and suggest improvements. But before heading out to meet up with his new lover and soon to be husband, Glorfindel visited with Elrond, who was enjoying breakfast in the privacy of his rooms. “Good morning, my friend,” said Glorfindel in greeting. Seeing how rumpled Elrond looked in the morning was something that would never cease to amuse him. The hair was a tangled mess, the eyes half-mast and the half-Elf’s movement still a bit sluggish. Once he had eaten his breakfast, Elrond would quickly become his charming and alert self, but the Peredhel had become a bit grumpy in the morning throughout the years.

 

“Good morning, Glorfindel,” mumbled Elrond absentmindedly, as his thoughts still lingered with Erestor’s odd behavior.

 

“And a good morning it is!” Cheerfully, Glorfindel obtained several berries from Elrond’s breakfast bowl and began to munch on them. He knew he had piqued Elrond’s curiosity when the half-Elf regarded him wearily.

 

“What causes you to grin like that this morning?”

 

“I received a marriage proposal last night.” He had no intention of hiding his gorgeous new lover.

 

Elrond spat out the strawberries he was eating before he could choke on them and wiped his chin with a napkin. Staring at Glorfindel in shock, he whispered, “What?” He must have misheard, or was this the newest prank Glorfindel had in store for him? But when he looked at the Elda, he found that Glorfindel was practically beaming with pride and bliss. “Who would -- willingly -- marry you? You are trouble, especially in the morning when you cause me to either spit out my breakfast or choke on it!” But he spoke in a gentle and caring tone to express his honest interest.

 

“Haldir does not mind me being trouble,” hinted Glorfindel naughtily, now acquiring Elrond’s cup of herbal tea.

 

“Haldir?” This news caused both of Elrond’s eyebrows to rise. “Haldir of ‘Lorien? That slightly arrogant, but beautiful, march warden?” The conversation they’d had about Haldir returned to him. Glorfindel had looked at him as if he had been a potential threat when it came to gaining the guardian’s favor. “And did you accept?”

 

“We negotiated the terms of our marriage,” said Glorfindel wickedly, “And I found them acceptable.”

 

Elrond shook his head, barely believing the calm with which Glorfindel was talking about this matter. “You accepted?”

 

“I did, but we still have to… consummate… the marriage,” Glorfindel added impishly, wriggling an eyebrow suggestively.

 

“You amaze me,” admitted Elrond softly. “I always thought you would be one for a long courtship and now you rush into this. Did you carefully consider everything?”

 

“We did.” Glorfindel grabbed a buttered slice of freshly baked bread and took a bite out of it.

 

“Tell me, why is it that you always have to eat my breakfast when there is enough food in the kitchens?” Elrond playfully swatted away Glorfindel’s hand when it reached for a piece of sweet cake. “Go eat your future husband’s cake!”

“I might. Maybe he will taste sweet.” The wriggling eyebrows were back.

 

Elrond released a mock sigh and shook his head. “I hope Haldir will teach you some manners.”

 

“I promised to behave around Erestor,” said Glorfindel, carefully steering their conversation to the pregnant Elf.

 

“You did?” Now Elrond’s interest truly awoke. Reacquiring his tea from Glorfindel, he sipped it and studied him carefully. “Why?”

 

“Haldir made me. He was afraid I might accidentally scare Erestor.”

 

“He might be right about that. I spent most of last evening in his company and he is very timid indeed. When I told him I had enjoyed his company, he stared at me in disbelief. I wonder about his life’s history. What happened to him to make him this… fearful?”

 

“Haldir hinted that Galadriel disliked Erestor and he even told me he had vowed to protect Erestor – from her, I think.” Glorfindel gave Elrond a meaningful look. “Learning that reminded me of a conversation we had about eight months ago, when we discussed your mysterious savior.”

 

Elrond’s hand suddenly paused in mid-air. He had been about to sip again, when the hair at the back of his neck grew rigid. “My mysterious savior… if I remember correctly, we concluded that he might have been forced into his actions, maybe prompted by Galadriel. Do you think Erestor knows my savior?” He felt as if he was on the brink of an earth-shaking revelation, but he failed to make any connections and frowned, frustrated.

 

Glorfindel nodded slowly. “You might be right. We should try to find out more about Erestor. Maybe your spies in Lothlorien can supply us with more information?”

 

“I will tell them to make inquiries about Erestor,” said Elrond thoughtfully. “In the meantime, I want you to see if Haldir is willing to volunteer some useful information whilst I focus on our guest.”

 

Glorfindel rose from his chair, quickly snatching an apple from Elrond’s breakfast tray. “I will do my best, but I do not want to pressure him.”

 

Elrond understood; Glorfindel didn’t want Haldir to think that he had a hidden agenda. “I wish your husband much patience and control, when having to deal with you,” he teased gently.

 

“Hum, he likes me just the way I am!” Glorfindel grinned from ear to ear, leaving the room.

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

“Lindir? Do you happen to know where I can find Erestor? He is not in his rooms.” Haldir was concerned now that Erestor proved elusive.

 

“He is in the library, reading,” supplied Lindir, eyeing Haldir closely. “I am heading there now to take him to Elrond’s study. Would you like to accompany me?”

 

“Elrond’s study?” Haldir frowned.

 

“Master Elrond invited Erestor to join him on his daily walk in the gardens. I think he believes the exercise will do Erestor good. He was a bit worried, realizing Erestor seemed to prefer to lock himself in his rooms.”

 

Haldir nodded. “Aye, he is a bit of a hermit at times.” He considered joining Lindir, but then decided against it. He wanted for Erestor to spend as much time as possible with Elrond and Erestor might change his plans if he joined him in the library. “I do not think I will accompany you, but would you deliver a message to Erestor from me?”

 

“Of course.” Lindir smiled warmly, awaiting the message.

 

“Please tell him that I will see him at dinner and that I hope he will have a pleasant walk in the gardens.”

 

That was an easy enough message to remember! Lindir nodded. “I will tell him. If you would please excuse me now, I am supposed to meet with Erestor in a few minutes.”

 

Haldir nodded and watched Lindir leave the room, relieved that Elrond was showing such an interest in Erestor. For the first time, he grew hopeful that things might work out for Erestor. The Valar knew Erestor deserved to be happy with his bonded mate.

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

“I thought you were taking me to Lord Elrond’s study,” mumbled Erestor, feeling suspicious now that they were heading for the kitchens, judging by the tempting scents that invaded his nostrils.

 

“But first you need to eat your noon meal. Master Elrond left me explicit instructions. I am only to take you to him *after* you have eaten.” Lindir smiled reassuringly, finally understanding that Erestor wasn’t used to strange Elves fussing over him.

 

Erestor sighed. “The only thing I do all day long is eat.”

 

“As you should. You are eating for two.”

 

Erestor blinked and a shy smile appeared on his face, recalling that Haldir had used that one on him when he had been pregnant with the twins. /You are eating for three,/ the guardian had said, coaxing him into eating.

 

Lindir had delivered Haldir’s message to Erestor, who felt strangely deserted at hearing that he wouldn’t see Haldir until dinner. But then again, Haldir probably wanted to spend time with Glorfindel and get to know him. He couldn’t blame the march warden for preferring Glorfindel’s company to his and he would see Haldir at dinner… hopefully.

 

They had reached the kitchens and Lindir guided Erestor to one of the tables, already set. “Please sit down and eat whatever you fancy. If you have certain cravings I am sure the cook would love to prepare those dishes for you.” The cook, a she-Elf with beaming green eyes, eagerly nodded her head and Lindir gestured for Erestor to begin his meal.

 

Erestor stared at the various food items and sighed. He didn’t dare tell Lindir that he wasn’t hungry, so he selected some biscuits, layered them with fruits and ate them. The cook placed a glass with freshly pressed fruit juice in front of him and waited expectantly. Erestor felt like he had no choice and slowly drank. He had to admit it tasted good and he smiled shyly at her. The cook, pleased with his reaction, returned the smile and then went back to her work.

 

Feeling so full that he thought he was about to explode, Erestor looked pleadingly at Lindir. “I am sorry, I cannot eat more.”

 

Lindir would have liked it better if Erestor had eaten more, but the pregnant Elf’s food intake was acceptable and he offered his hand, seeing Erestor had difficulty in getting to his feet. “I will take you to Lord Elrond’s study now.”

 

Erestor blushed, feeling tired and bloated. “Can we walk slowly?” He desperately hoped there was no stair climbing involved in reaching Elrond’s study.

 

“Of course we can.” Lindir felt pleased; Erestor seemed to be growing more comfortable when making requests. He hoped that it wouldn’t take long for the dark-haired Elf to truly feel at home here.

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

Elrond impatiently tapped his foot, wondering what was taking Lindir so long to bring Erestor to his study. He had intentionally created a mess on his desk and floor, and didn’t want Glorfindel to accidentally see it. His Captain would tease him for the next few decades. He had scattered most of Thranduil’s lengthy letters over the floor. Most of them were reports on Dol Guldur and Elrond hoped they would prove the perfect distraction for Erestor in sorting them out and archiving them. Once his guest had accomplished his task, Elrond planned to present him with a new one, which would preferably keep him in his study. Elrond had been truthful in telling Erestor that he had enjoyed the other’s company and he wanted to spend more time with the Elf to get to know him.

 

When the knock on his door finally sounded, he released a frustrated yelp and let the reports he had been reading drop onto his desk with an audible ‘plop’, which would hopefully convince Erestor the letters had just fallen onto the floor. “Enter!”

 

The door opened and Erestor hesitantly shuffled inside. Elrond read apprehension on the Elf’s face – the sound of falling paper had probably warned Erestor that something was amiss.

 

“I can come back tomorrow if I am interrupting anything,” Erestor said shyly, instantly noticing the heap of scattered papers on the floor. He had wondered about that ‘plop’. Elrond had probably dropped those letters when he had knocked on the door.

 

“You are not interrupting anything,” said Elrond, bending down to gather some of the letters in his hands. “Please stay. I will sort out this mess and then we will go for our walk.” Elrond glanced at Erestor, hoping to spark the desired reaction in the other Elf when he dropped the letters again in frustration.

 

“Can I help?”

 

/Yes!/ thought Elrond triumphantly. Now he had Erestor where he wanted him! “Would you help me sort these out? That is, if you do not mind leaving for our walk a tad later?”

 

“I do not mind,” said Erestor shyly, “And I would like to help.” It was the least he could do to repay Elrond for giving him a new home here – and for the half-Elf’s care. Erestor pulled up a chair and tried to bend down to help, but his belly was in the way and he gave in, releasing a sigh of frustration.

 

“Here, you can sort these out and then put the oldest on the bottom.” Elrond dropped a pile of letters in Erestor’s lap. His heart had missed a beat, seeing Erestor lean in closer and he had been about to put a stop to it, when Erestor sat back himself.

 

“The oldest ones on the bottom?” asked Erestor, making sure he had correctly understood.

 

“Yes.” Elrond finished gathering the last letters and placed them on his desk. “Sorting them out might be easier if you put them all on the desk.”

 

Erestor shifted on the chair and began to lay the letters out on the table. He had seen Thranduil’s signature and was doing his best not to give in to his curiosity to read them. After sorting them out, he began to put the oldest ones on the bottom of his pile, just as Elrond has asked him to. Concentrating on his task, he even forgot Elrond was present.

 

Elrond smiled, seeing the concentration on Erestor’s face. Whilst the pregnant Elf sorted out his correspondence, he returned to reading his reports.

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

“I finished,” said Erestor, with a hint of pride in his voice. He had created a neat pile and carefully handed them to Elrond, who seemed impressed. The smile in the half-Elf’s eyes made him blush.

 

“Are you a secretary by any chance?” asked Elrond, wondering about his guest’s profession. He also wanted to know where Erestor’s interests lay.

 

“Nay, I am not,” said Erestor, blushing weakly.

 

Elrond then executed the next step of his plan. “I could use some help, you know. My assistant only works with me in the morning and now that Glorfindel has deserted me for Haldir…” he stopped, seeing the grin on Erestor’s face. The other Elf knew then and approved. “Now that Glorfindel has deserted me, I need help.”

 

Erestor swallowed hard, suddenly wondering if he had been set up, but he didn’t want to think Elrond would do such a thing to him. “I have no particular skills that make me a good assistant, but maybe I can be of some use?” He wrung his hands beneath the desk, wondering how Elrond would react to his offer. Part of him hoped Elrond would accept, for then he could be close to his bonded mate, but another part was terrified that he would let something slip and thus reveal himself. But he had made the offer now and couldn’t go back on it.

 

“Ah, you would do that for me?” Elrond smiled warmly. “I gladly accept your offer, and do not worry, I won’t exhaust you.” He gave Erestor a conspiratorial wink, hoping his guest would grow more relaxed and confident.

 

Erestor averted his eyes, and stared at the floor, hearing the growing affection in Elrond’s tone.

 

“And now we will leave for our walk! We are late already!” Elrond pushed back his chair, walked over to Erestor and extended his hand, hoping his guest would take it. His heart fluttered in joy, feeling clammy fingers wrap around his. The clamminess led him to believe that Erestor was still nervous, but also beginning to trust him. After helping Erestor to his feet slowly, Elrond guided him to the doorway. “Tell me when you get tired. We can always cut our walk short. The last thing I want is for you to exhaust yourself.”

 

Erestor nodded absentmindedly, his thoughts fixed on the fact that Elrond’s hand had traveled to the small of his back. That small gesture made him feel safe and protected, and he was definitely looking forward to the rest of the afternoon now that Elrond was at his side – and touching him.

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

During their walk, Elrond kept his tone light and stayed clear of any questions that might make Erestor feel uncomfortable. Instead, he talked about the Bruinen, the waterfalls and the various gardens he had designed these last few millennia. He finished with, “I hope you will be happy here, as long as you wish to stay.”

 

Erestor, who had been lured into a relaxed state by Elrond’s calm tone, forgot to be on his guard. “I like it better here than in Lothlorien. Imladris is beautiful and the Elves here are so very kind.” Once he realized what he had said, he blinked nervously.

 

Elrond tried to tread as carefully as possible when asking his next question. “I gather from your words that you were not happy in Lothlorien. I am surprised to hear that and wonder why.”

 

Erestor realized he had put his foot in his mouth and couldn’t brush Elrond off now. Moistening his lips, he said, “I had some … differences of opinion with the Lady Galadriel.” He hoped Elrond wouldn’t hold that against him, as Galadriel was his mother in law.

 

Relieved that Erestor was allowing their conversation to go in this direction, he said, “I always thought Galadriel to be a good friend, but lately I find myself wondering about her.” He heard the sigh Erestor released. Apparently his guest had been worried about his reaction. “Glorfindel told me that Haldir and you are good friends, though.”

 

Erestor disliked the fact that Glorfindel and Elrond had talked about him privately, but also knew he had no influence on their conversations. “Haldir saved my life when I lost my… sons.” His heart still ached with pain, remembering them and before he knew it, he found himself confiding in Elrond. “I mourned them for millennia. I hid within my mind and it was only Haldir’s constant pleading to join he and his brothers again that made me turn away from the Halls of Waiting.”

 

Elrond blinked in surprise. “You mourned them for that long?” Suddenly, he needed to know. “May I inquire how you lost them?” It might help him prevent another miscarriage, should complications or a medical condition have been the reason why Erestor had lost them.

 

Erestor halted in his tracks. He couldn’t believe Elrond had asked him that! Confused, he stared at the grass.

 

Elrond reached out instinctively, placing a hand on Erestor’s shoulder in an attempt to show him he cared. The flash of energy that tingled against his fingertips took him by surprise. /It happened again! It was not a singular incident!/ Puzzled, he looked at Erestor, but the dark-haired Elf was still staring at the grass, making him wonder if Erestor had felt the energy transfer at all. “Erestor?”

 

Erestor had felt the spark of energy that had flown into Elrond’s fingers. It was becoming harder to keep his secrets. Then, he recalled Elrond’s original question, which had triggered this situation. “I lost them because I exhausted myself. Their lights faded because I lacked the strength to keep them alive.” Old feelings of guilt, which had nearly been forgotten thanks to Haldir’s excellent care these last few years, returned with a frightening force. “I killed them because I was a coward.”

 

Elrond sucked in his breath. “Why do you say that?” He had known Erestor only a short time, but knew this couldn’t be true. “It must have been an accident.” He wasn’t prepared to look into swimming eyes when Erestor finally met his gaze. “Oh, my dear friend, please do not cry!”

 

The words reminded Erestor of Haldir, who had said them many times and he turned away from the half-Elf when his desire to bury himself in Elrond’s arms became too much. “You do not know what happened. You were not there.” If only Elrond had been there! Then it might never have happened!

 

“You are right. I was not there, but I am here now and…” Elrond briefly hesitated, but seeing the shaking shoulders and hearing the heartbreaking sobs, he continued in the end, “Would you allow me to comfort you?” He knew better than to force an embrace on Erestor, whose previous reactions had taught him that the other Elf didn’t trust easily. “Please?”

 

“I can… not… Please, do not ask again.” Erestor wasn’t sure he could reject Elrond a second time. He had to maintain this distance between them, as he was afraid to lose his heart to Elrond once and for all. Only pain and misery lay that way, for Elrond would never love him in return.

 

The ache in his heart took Elrond by surprise. He had always been a compassionate soul, but Erestor touched a special place in his heart, which he had thought forever closed after losing Celebrian. “I cannot help myself, Erestor. For some reason I cannot see you suffer. My heart tells me to do this.” Carefully, making sure Erestor could see what he was doing, he raised his arms and then folded them around the trembling Elf, pulling him into a warm and comforting embrace.

 

 

Heart in Chains

Part 24

 

 

Erestor felt like crumbling inside. His heart was madly pumping blood through his veins and he felt disoriented; but just when he thought he would lose his sanity, Elrond’s arms folded around him, pulling him close. Unable to push the half-Elf away in his moment of need, he collapsed against him. It was only due to Elrond’s tight hold on him that he remained on his feet. “I…I…” He panted and sobbed as tears flowed into his mouth and a salty taste exploded on his tongue. “I… d-did not w-want them-m to… d-die… Did n-not… Pl-please… b’lieveme…” Erestor clawed at Elrond’s robes, needing him close, needing… “Please… for…gi-give… me!”

 

Elrond never expected such an emotional outburst and felt at a loss. What was he supposed to do? “Hush now, Erestor. I am sure you did not want to lose your children. It was an accident. You mourned for them for them long enough.” And then he realized that Erestor had mourned indeed, but had never dealt with the loss.

 

“Forgive… me… Pl-pleassse…” Sobbing brokenly, he breathed the words against Elrond’s chest, which felt warm and comforting. The half-Elf’s hold tightened around him and he cried harder, letting go of the hurt he had carried with him for so long. “Please for…giveme… please… I ne…ver w-wanted… pleassssee…!” Erestor raised his eyes and looked pleadingly at his children’s father. For one moment, he pretended Elrond knew the truth and didn’t blame him for their sons’ deaths. “Forgive…me…”

 

Elrond, quite shaken now that he was witnessing Erestor’s emotional breakdown, realized the hurting Elf needed forgiveness for having lost his babies, as Erestor blamed himself for the miscarriage. /It does not matter who gives him that forgiveness, as long as he receives it./

 

“Erestor? Look at me. Hear me.” He waited until Erestor’s sobs had calmed down slightly and then cupped one cheek in the palm of his hand, lovingly staring into those dark eyes. His own reaction puzzled him, but he knew he had to do this -- now. “I forgive you.” Hopefully, that was what Erestor needed to hear. “You are not to blame. You did not cause this miscarriage and you were so shattered when it happened that you withdrew into yourself. Don’t you think it is time to move on? I am sure everyone who loves you would want that. I know I certainly want that. Stop living in the past.”

 

Erestor had stopped sobbing and now listened to Elrond as if entranced. He had wanted to hear those words for so long and now he had finally been given absolution for his cowardice. “I should have stopped when I knew Telu would live, but…” He bit down on his bottom lip – hard – realizing he couldn’t reveal more to Elrond. “Do you really forgive me? Really?”

 

Elrond smiled reassuringly, briefly wondering why *his * forgiveness was this important, but then reminded himself that anyone’s forgiveness would do as long as Erestor got it. “Aye, I do.” For some reason he couldn’t explain, he never wanted to let go of this Elf in his arms. “I promise you that I will do my best to make certain your baby survives the birth.”

 

“If it comes down to… saving me or the baby… I want you to choose the baby.” It was important to him that this baby lived. “I’d rather die myself.”

 

“Do not say such things! It will never happen!” Elrond was suddenly overcome by a dark, ominous sense of foreboding that something like this would come to pass one day. /Nay, Mandos cannot have them. I won’t let him!/ He maintained his hold on Erestor until the sobbing had stopped altogether. “You have been keeping that inside for much too long, my friend.”

 

“I could not tell anyone before, but I can tell you.” Erestor blinked once, trying to clear the remaining tears from his eyelashes. “But I feel tired now.”

 

“Aye, we should return to the house.” Elrond had planned to have dinner with Erestor in the Hall of Fire, but that seemed a bad idea now. Maybe… “Would you prefer having a private dinner with me instead of dining in the hall?”

 

“I do not feel like eating,” whispered Erestor brokenly, averting his eyes and staring at a tree behind Elrond.

 

“Nay, I won’t let you retreat into yourself again – or even into your rooms, for that matter. You will only lock yourself up and you need to be amongst friends now.”

 

“Friends? Do you consider me your friend, then? You have only known me for two days.”

 

“There is something about you that touches my heart, Erestor. I cannot quite explain it yet, but hopefully I will one day.” Elrond’s heart missed a beat, seeing the hopeful expression in Erestor’s dark orbs. /Aiya, if anyone ever needed friends and affection it is you./ Elrond slowly brushed some strands behind Erestor’s ears. “Will you have dinner with me tonight? I can invite Haldir, but then we will have to deal with Glorfindel too, for he will want to join us. Can you deal with that?”

 

“Haldir… I want Haldir close.” Haldir understood his pain, understood why Elrond’s forgiveness was so important to him. Although he knew that Elrond had no clue what he had forgiven him for, he cherished the words and kept replaying them in his mind. /I forgive you./

 

“Come with me. We should get you to sit down and rest.” Still keeping one arm around Erestor’s waist, he guided his guest back to the Last Homely House, hoping he had set a healing process in motion.

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

The unexpected knock on his door puzzled Glorfindel. Opening the door, he found Lindir smiling at him. “How can I help you?”

 

“Master Elrond asked me to deliver a message to you. He invites you and Haldir to dine with him and Erestor in his private rooms instead of in the Hall of Fire. It seems Erestor is too tired to deal with such a crowded room.”

 

Glorfindel nodded. “Tell Elrond we will join him.”

 

Lindir left to deliver the message and Glorfindel turned around to look at Haldir, who seemed extremely worried. /About Erestor, doubtlessly./ And again jealousy tried to get a hold on him. They had retired to his rooms after they had finished training and had started another game of chess.

 

Haldir sensed Glorfindel’s displeasure and followed him back to the chairs where they had been sitting. He had a fairly good idea what was going through Glorfindel’s head. “Trust me, you have no reason to be jealous of Erestor.” Glorfindel’s narrowed eyes searched his and Haldir grew alert.

 

“Erestor and you were lovers once,” stated Glorfindel, convinced.

 

“If one can call it that,” mumbled Haldir. “As I told you before, my relationship with Erestor is complicated, but you know that his heart – and his

fëa – belong to someone else.”

 

Glorfindel realized that information had to do for now. “Will you ask his permission to tell me?”

 

Haldir knew exactly what Glorfindel was talking about. “I will, but I won’t force him into anything.”

 

Glorfindel nodded, hoping Erestor would understand how important it was to do away with these secrets. They had the power to ruin their budding relationship if they remained unaddressed.

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

Erestor allowed Elrond to sit him down in a comfortable chair, which the half-Elf had moved closer to the fireplace. Although this was his first visit to the Peredhel’s rooms, he couldn’t be bothered to be curious. He felt melancholy, a bit lethargic, and his gaze absentmindedly followed Elrond, when the half-Elf talked to Lindir.

 

He had come so close to caving in and telling Elrond the truth. Just what was wrong with him? He had managed to control his emotions until now! But Camfael *had* warned him about the mood swings and the possibility of emotional instability. Maybe he could blame his outburst on that? Would Elrond let him?

 

Elrond returned to his guest’s side and pulled up a chair. Sitting down, he eyed Erestor worriedly. “Do you feel any better now?”

 

“I honestly do not know. I am seldom this emotional. It must be due to the pregnancy.” Erestor glanced at Elrond to see if the half-Elf believed him, and then quickly looked away again.

 

“I doubt that. I think these emotions have wanted a way out for a long time.” And his presence had triggered them. /Does that mean he is growing to trust me?/ Elrond hoped so. “Why don’t you rest until Haldir and Glorfindel join us? You can sleep if you want to. I will wake you when dinner arrives. You must feel drained.” He could tell because Erestor’s eyes darkened with sleep at times, but the Elf always forced himself awake again.

 

“Thank you…” whispered Erestor, fatigued.

 

Elrond rose from his chair, picked up a blanket from his bed and covered Erestor with it. He expected to dine with his friends in less than an hour and decided against moving Erestor to his bed. Waking up there might make Erestor feel uncomfortable.

 

Walking into the bathroom, he decided to take a quick bath and change into his evening robes, whilst regularly checking on his charge. It had been an exhausting day and Elrond suspected more emotional outbursts would follow now that Erestor was beginning to feel secure here in Imladris.

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

Haldir’s first glance was for Erestor, who was still asleep in the chair. “You exhausted him,” he said, addressing Elrond in a slightly disapproving tone.

 

“We went for a walk,” started Elrond, who had dressed in deep blue evening robes. After redoing his braids and knots, he had slipped the butterfly hairclip back into his mane. Now he faced Haldir, who was clearly upset with how tired Erestor looked. “He suffered an emotional breakdown. That is why he is this… exhausted.”

 

Haldir’s eyes flared with concern. “A breakdown? Why? What did you do to cause it?” He glared at Elrond, reconsidering his original plans to make sure Erestor spent as much time as possible with the half-Elf. Glorfindel’s hand suddenly settled at the small of his back and he fought the urge to shake it off now that he was facing Elrond. In the end, he allowed the touch, reminding himself Glorfindel loved him.

 

Elrond’s voice was soft and calming when he answered Haldir’s question. “He mourned losing his babies, but never really dealt with the loss. He begged me for forgiveness. For some reason he thinks it was his fault they died.” Elrond cast a look at Erestor, to make sure the Elf was still asleep. “Haldir, were you present when the miscarriage happened?”

 

Haldir swallowed hard, but then nodded. “It was not his fault that he had that miscarriage. He was trying to help one of our injured scouts and quickly grew exhausted. He was not to blame.”

 

Elrond’s eyes softened with understanding. “He said that he should have stopped when he knew Telu would live.”

 

Haldir’s eyes narrowed. Just how much had Erestor told Elrond? “They would not let him. There was a knife at his throat.”

 

Vexed and trying to make sense of this new information, Elrond asked, “In what way was Erestor helping this wounded Elf?”

 

Haldir knew he couldn’t answer that question. It might reveal secrets, which Erestor was desperately trying to keep. Thankfully, Erestor chose that moment to wake up. “We cannot discuss this now.” Haldir reacted quickly and after walking over to Erestor, he knelt on one knee. “Erestor?”

 

The chocolate eyes filled with alertness and he smiled, seeing Haldir this close. “You are here.”

 

“Of course I am!” Haldir forced himself to act cheerfully. “It is dinner time and you need to eat.”

 

Erestor groaned. “Not again.”

 

“Aye, again.” Elrond moved closer to Erestor, and noticed the surprise in the dark eyes when Erestor caught sight of him.

 

Glorfindel watched all three of them in turn, seeing the connection that ran between Haldir and Erestor. Why had he accepted Haldir’s marriage proposal so quickly? What if Haldir’s heart still belonged to Erestor? But then Haldir did something that puzzled him. The guardian got back to his feet again and came to stand beside him. Now it was Haldir who rested a hand at the small of his back – rather possessively.

 

Elrond, seeing the hurt expression in Erestor’s eyes at being deserted, quickly offered Erestor his assistance. “Let us move to the table.” He offered Erestor his hand, which the other Elf took, and then supported him as they made their way over to the table where dinner was all set. He helped Erestor sit down and then seated himself.

 

Looking at Glorfindel, Elrond saw the unease in the azure eyes. Glorfindel seemed distressed and he wondered what had transpired between the two lovers.

 

Lindir appeared, serving the first course and then left them to enjoy the fresh fruits.

 

Erestor stared at the food and his stomach did an amazingly nauseating somersault.

 

“Eat,” said Elrond, signaling for Erestor to empty his plate.

 

“I cannot. My stomach won’t allow it.”

 

“Would you prefer a light soup instead?” inquired Elrond in a concerned tone.

 

Erestor shook his head. “I need to wait until my stomach settles down, but please eat and do not wait for me.”

 

Haldir nodded and began to eat, not wanting Erestor to feel guilty. Glorfindel followed and eventually Elrond as well. The silence that hung over them was forced and the tension mounted. He desperately wished he knew how to do away with it.

 

Things changed when Lindir unexpectedly returned. “My Lord?” he said, addressing Elrond, “A messenger just arrived from Mirkwood and carries a letter from King Thranduil.”

 

Elrond groaned. “His timing is always… impeccable.” Slowly, he rose from his chair after giving Erestor an apologetic look. “I will try to return as quickly as possible, but as you might have found when sorting those letters, they are rather… lengthy.” And Thranduil would probably demand an immediate answer. This would take time.

 

Erestor smiled reassuringly and watched Lindir and Elrond leave. He wished Elrond could have stayed close, as he enjoyed the half-Elf’s company immensely.

 

Glorfindel had studied Erestor and had reached the conclusion that the dark-haired Elf seemed to prefer Elrond’s company over Haldir’s, which slightly reassured, as well as puzzled him. But he still needed to know what Haldir was hiding. Delivering a kick to Haldir’s shin beneath the table, he said, “Ask him!”

 

Haldir glared at him and pretended to be hurt, mockingly rubbing the abused limb.

 

“Ask me what?” Erestor knew something was amiss, seeing the uncomfortable expression in Haldir’s eyes. This was going to be unpleasant, he could tell.

 

Haldir drew in a deep breath. “I asked Glorfindel to marry me.” That was as good as a place to start as any.

 

Erestor smiled brilliantly, which confused Glorfindel. It seemed the dark-haired Elf was happy for Haldir and approved of that proposal. He hadn’t expected such a reaction. /What did I expect? Jealousy? A tantrum?/ Nothing of the kind was happening, though.

 

“I hope he accepted,” said Erestor teasingly.

 

“I did.” Glorfindel cringed, hearing how tense and tight his voice sounded.

 

“But you do not seem very happy about it,” remarked Erestor, growing apprehensive at Glorfindel’s probing look.

 

“That is because Haldir is keeping secrets from me,” said Glorfindel, suddenly wondering why this was so important to him.

 

“Secrets?” A fist seemed to tighten around Erestor’s heart, as he was afraid he knew what this was about.

 

“Secrets concerning you,” clarified Glorfindel, leaning in closer. “He has already told me that the two of you were lovers once.”

 

Erestor sucked in his breath. “Lovers…” His voice softened with remembrance. “He offered me comfort because he loved me. I told him from the beginning that I could never commit to him, as I am bound to someone else. I also warned him that he would get hurt by acting so selflessly, but he never listened.” Looking Glorfindel in the eyes – which required a lot of courage on his part – he added, “I want him to be happy and you seem to be the person who can accomplish that.”

 

“But there is more,” said Glorfindel, not giving up yet. “There are secrets that he is hiding because he vowed to protect you.”

 

Erestor paled visibly, realizing what Glorfindel was really asking. He sought out Haldir’s eyes and pleaded with him, “Do not ask me to tell him.”

 

“I will tell him if you allow it,” said Haldir in a strangled tone. “I would prefer for him to know why you are so important to me, as I do not want to lose him to jealousy or other negative emotions.”

 

“Are you that insecure about Haldir?” Erestor had never wanted to say that aloud, but it had slipped from his lips unwillingly, looking at Glorfindel.

 

“Not insecure,” corrected Glorfindel, “But this will be my first marriage and I need to know who my husband really is, and why he feels he needs to keep things from me.”

 

Erestor’s brow furrowed. “Haldir, do not ask this of me. You know I cannot… I do not want Glorfindel to know… He will tell Elrond and… I do not want to leave here or lose my daughter.” Stress, worry and terror were clearly visible on his face as he pleaded with his protector.

 

“I…” Haldir was at a loss for words, knowing Erestor felt betrayed by him.

 

“Would it help if I vowed not to tell Elrond?” offered Glorfindel. He didn’t particularly like the idea, but doubted these secrets were very important. Attributing Erestor’s extreme emotions to mood swings, he thought it was probably a big commotion over something trivial.

 

Erestor really didn’t want to do this, but the pleading expression in Haldir’s eyes told him to agree to Glorfindel’s proposal. “I still do not want him to know…”

 

Glorfindel rose from his chair, drew himself up to his full height and said solemnly, “I vow upon my honor never to tell Elrond, no matter what Haldir will reveal to me. I will keep these secrets.”

 

Haldir’s eyes met Erestor’s. “He is an Elf of honor, Erestor, and will keep his word.”

 

Erestor sighed deeply, his hands shaking wildly beneath the table, hidden from view. It felt like his world was about to collapse around him. How could he deal with Glorfindel knowing Galadriel had used him – and his body – in such a dishonorable way? Would the Balrog Slayer think him a whore? How would he ever be able to face Glorfindel again? Nay, he didn’t want Haldir to sacrifice his happiness because of him. He would face and carry that burden, like he always did. He pushed his chair back and slowly got to his feet, shaking off Haldir’s hand when the march warden tried to help him upright. “I will retreat to my rooms now.” Looking at Haldir, he saw the hurt in his eyes, now that he had brushed off his hand. “If this is so important to the two of you, tell him.” Fighting his tears, he turned away from them and fled the room.

 

Encountering Lindir in the next chamber, he told the white-haired Elf to excuse him when the half-Elf returned. When he finally entered the corridor, he released his tears and blindly headed for his rooms, hoping Glorfindel would leave him alone now.

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

Glorfindel felt uncomfortable, seeing the reaction he had provoked in Erestor when the raven-haired Elf had left. His shoulders had been slumped and his head bowed in defeat. “Why did he react like that?”

 

Haldir knew Erestor well enough to know what was going on in that head. “He is afraid he will lose the friendships he is beginning to build and to be looked upon by you in loathing.”

 

“Is it that bad?” Glorfindel suddenly wondered if he had made a grave mistake.

 

“Let us return to your rooms,” said Haldir, “I do not want Elrond to walk in on us while I am telling you all of this.”

 

Lindir raised an eyebrow when Glorfindel and Haldir also told him to give Elrond their regards and to inform the half-Elf that urgent matters prevented them from staying. He assured them that he would tell him and then waited for Elrond to return.

 

When the half-Elf did so, almost an hour later, he stared at his empty rooms, wondering what had made them leave. Lindir couldn’t provide him with a real explanation either and he sat down, dismayed that Thranduil’s letter had stopped him from keeping them from leaving.

 

/But I will see Erestor again at midday./ Lindir was under instructions to look after Erestor in the morning and after Erestor had eaten the noon meal, the white-haired Elf would escort Erestor to his study. /I will ask Erestor what was wrong tomorrow./

 

But, being honest with himself, he had to admit he already missed the other Elf’s company.

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

“And that is why Erestor is terrified of your reaction,” finished Haldir after telling Glorfindel about Galadriel’s scheming, the identity of Erestor’s bonded mate, and the misery the raven-haired Elf had suffered throughout the millennia. Leaning back in his chair, he stared into his lover’s dilated pupils, seeing the utter shock in them.

 

Glorfindel swallowed hard, blinked, and then tried to find the right words to express the sorrow he felt. “I never expected to hear anything like this.” His head reeled with all that he had been told. “What was Galadriel thinking, ordering Erestor into Elrond’s bed and then… Aiya, by Elbereth, Elrond should know he fathered and lost two sons.” His eyes widened in shock. “Elrond should know he is about to become a father again!”

 

Haldir leaned in closer and claimed Glorfindel’s right hand. “Maybe I was not clear enough so I will say this again. Erestor is afraid Elrond will be furious with him and take his daughter away from him. Trust me, I know how Erestor thinks. He expects people to hurt and exploit him.”

 

Glorfindel’s head felt heavy and he rubbed the bridge of his nose. “Elrond would never do such a thing.”

 

“But Erestor does not know that.” Haldir rubbed Glorfindel’s knuckles. “He only knows Galadriel’s scheming and even now he is afraid she will find a way to hurt him.”

 

“I never knew she was that devious.” Accepting Galadriel’s role in this was hard, as he only knew her as kind and caring, but he didn’t doubt that Haldir was telling him the truth. He could tell the march warden was sincere and that telling him had caused him pain because he had relived parts of the past in doing so.

 

“This is so much information,” whispered Glorfindel, still stunned. He needed to sort these things out and therefore said aloud, “Let me make sense of this. Erestor bound himself to Elrond on the eve after the Battle of the Last Alliance.” He vividly recalled Haldir’s arrival, and the healer – Erestor – going into Elrond’s tent. “That explains the blood and Elrond’s statement that he was afraid he had forced himself on someone.”

 

Haldir arched an eyebrow. “Forced himself?”

 

“There was blood! Elrond is no fool and knows he hurt Erestor!” Glorfindel frowned. “He was convinced Ereinion had returned to him, and only later did he realize he had bedded a stranger. But he had no idea he was alive because Erestor had bound himself to him.”

 

“Galadriel did not want to ‘burden’ Elrond by knowing a ‘kinslayer’ had bound himself to him,” said Haldir, disgustedly.

 

“But he never killed Elwing’s guard and Orophin merely reached the wrong conclusion.” Glorfindel sighed, hating the tangled web he had gotten himself maneuvered into. “Erestor returned to Lothlorien – pregnant – and suffered a miscarriage because someone forced him to revive this Telu?”

 

“That is correct. Rumil and I were unable to stop it from happening.”

 

“And still Galadriel did not tell Elrond? By the Grace of the Valar, those sons would have been Elrond’s heirs!”

 

“Erestor once mentioned something that really shocked me. That Galadriel had referred to them as ‘bastards’. He was depressed for days after that.”

 

Glorfindel growled. “I still think Elrond deserves to know, but first I want to really understand this. After losing his babies, Erestor fell into a state of lethargy which lasted nearly three millennia and when he returned he was…”

 

“Broken,” finished Haldir for him. “He was like a newborn and we had to teach him everything all over again.”

 

“And that is when the two of you became lovers?”

 

“For a short while, aye. He needed the comfort – the closeness.” Haldir hoped Glorfindel understood. “Erestor felt alone.”

 

“And just when he had recovered, Celebrian was attacked?”

 

“Aye, and after she sailed for Valinor, Elrond visited with Galadriel.”

 

“And she…” Words eluded Glorfindel. “Elrond told me his mysterious savior had reappeared and I even tried to find him.”

 

“You would not have succeeded. By that time, Celeborn had taken charge and was doing his best to hide and protect Erestor.”

 

Glorfindel nervously licked his lips. “Erestor found out he was pregnant and Celeborn sent him here. Why did Celeborn not tell Elrond the truth?”

 

“I think he wants Erestor to make that decision,” said Haldir eventually, “but I doubt he ever will.”

 

Glorfindel finally began to understand Erestor’s fears. “That is why he was so hesitant to allow you to tell me.”

 

“Aye, he is afraid you will tell Elrond and then the little happiness he has found here would disappear. Erestor fears being imprisoned again and keeping these things from Elrond makes him believe that the half-Elf’s reaction will not be pleasant. He is afraid, Glorfindel.”

 

“But he does not have to be!” Exasperated, Glorfindel jumped to his feet and paced his bedroom. “Assuredly, Elrond can throw a tantrum at times and he will be hurt when he finds out, but he would never punish Erestor in that way.”

 

“But Erestor does not believe that.” Haldir remained seated, allowing Glorfindel the time he needed to process this information. “He is also afraid of your judgment.”

 

“Judgment?” Glorfindel paused his pacing to look at Haldir questioningly.

 

“Deep down, Erestor feels used. He feels Galadriel abused his body by ordering him to submit to Elrond. He is afraid you will condemn him for everything he did.”

 

“In that case he does not know me at all.” Glorfindel felt hurt, hearing that Erestor feared him and his reaction.

 

“Which is true, he does not know you. Maybe you should take the first step and talk to him?” Haldir hoped Glorfindel would take the risk to talk to Erestor. “I really want the two of you to get along.”

 

The same thought – visiting with Erestor – had crossed Glorfindel’s mind. There were a number of things he needed to say to Erestor and it was important he did it now before he lacked the necessary courage to do so. What Erestor had done filled him with deep admiration and utter respect. “I will talk to him now, or do you think I should wait?”

 

“I doubt Erestor can sleep now that you finally know the truth. I would go to his rooms now.”

 

Glorfindel nodded absentmindedly. “I need to tell him not to worry. Keeping these secrets will be hard and I wish I could tell Elrond, but I will honor my promise.”

 

“Good, go then and reassure him. The Valar know he needs more friends.”

 

Glorfindel suddenly spun around, covered the distance between them and kissed Haldir almost desperately. “Thank you for telling me.”

 

Haldir nodded in understanding. “Go now and lay Erestor’s fears to rest.”

 

Glorfindel nodded; he would do just that.

 

 

Heart in Chains

Part 25

 

 

Erestor had expected the knock on his door and drew in a deep breath, trying to mentally prepare himself for the upcoming confrontation with Glorfindel. Since his arrival he had barely seen the Elda and he had been comfortable with being ignored, but now he wondered if that would continue for the duration of his stay here. “You may enter, Glorfindel,” he said softly, resting one hand on the windowsill to steady himself. He stood in front of the window and now turned toward the doorway to meet Glorfindel head on.

 

Glorfindel hesitantly stepped inside. His gaze immediately sought out Erestor, seeing the dark-haired Elf in a new light. This was the Elf who had pulled Elrond back after Ereinion had died, who had given Elrond new energy when Celebrian had sailed for Aman. This Elf had carried Elrond’s sons and had lost them. /I will do everything I can to make sure this child is born. I just wish I could tell Elrond./

 

“Glorfindel,” said Erestor softly, inclining his head to show his respect. He had expected Glorfindel to show up, but he had no idea what the blond wanted to tell him. The look in those heavenly blue eyes still revealed shock and Erestor reckoned this could go both ways. “I gather Haldir told you?”

 

“Aye, he told me everything he knew.” Glorfindel frowned deeply. “Why do you feel you have to hide your bond from Elrond?”

 

That question confused Erestor temporarily, but then he made an effort to answer it. “Elrond was never given a choice. Binding him to me in such a way would be unfair.”

 

/And did *you* have a choice?/ wondered Glorfindel. From the way Haldir had presented the facts to him, he had gathered that Erestor had been forced in a more subtle way. “And now that you are pregnant with his child, you still prefer not to tell Elrond?”

 

Erestor’s fingers clawed at the wooden windowsill. “I cannot take the risk that he will take my daughter away from me.” At exactly that moment, his baby kicked again. He gasped softly and swayed.

 

Glorfindel reacted with concern. “Erestor?”

 

“’Tis only the baby kicking me. She has been doing that much lately. She must be growing impatient to be born.” Erestor had composed himself again and asked, “Why are you here, Glorfindel? What is the verdict?”

 

/Haldir was right, Erestor expects to be judged./ “No verdict,” said Glorfindel, slowly approaching Erestor and noticing the way the dark-haired Elf began to push back against the wall. He stopped in his tracks, realizing he was intimidating the other Elf.

 

“Then why are you here? To announce you are going to tell Elrond and ruin the little joy I have finally found in my life? I like living in Imladris. I do not have to watch my back where Galadriel is concerned. Everyone here is friendly, even concerned and means well. But you will ruin that, won’t you?”

 

Glorfindel now fully understood Erestor’s fears for the very first time. /He really is convinced Elrond will react with rage when learning the truth. He needs time. Forcing this issue now will only cause him to worry and his health will deteriorate. That is a risk I cannot take with him being almost eight months pregnant./ On his way over here he had prepared a little speech to reassure Erestor, but he now realized it wouldn’t work. He had to do something else – something better. His mind set -- now that he had made his decision -- he approached Erestor again. He pretended not to see the beginning tremors that rocked the Elf’s body and when he stood in front of Erestor, he went down on one knee.

 

Glorfindel’s move utterly stunned Erestor, who wondered what had gotten into the blond. Unexpectedly, Glorfindel claimed his right hand and slowly pulled it toward his chest.

 

Glorfindel moistened his lips and spoke in a most solemn tone. “Many centuries ago I vowed to protect Elrond and his family. Millennia ago, you sacrificed yourself by binding yourself to my Lord and, by doing so you saved his life. I now also pledge my allegiance to you.”

 

Erestor tried to swallow the lump of emotions that was forming in his throat at hearing Glorfindel’s words. This had taken him by surprise; he never expected the Elda to do such a thing and he didn’t know how to react to it.

 

“You carried and lost my Lord’s heirs and my heart grieves for the loss, but it also rejoices at this new chance that you have been given. Haldir told me – and you just confirmed this – that you are certain that you are expecting a daughter and I extend my protection to her as well. From this day on, I will die for you and your daughter.” Slowly, still holding onto Erestor’s clammy hand, he rose from the floor and looked deeply into large, chocolate eyes.

 

Carefully removing his sword from its sheath, he offered the hilt to Erestor. “Accept my sword arm in battle and my friendship and dedication in times of peace.” Looking at Erestor steadfastly, he waited for the dark-haired Elf to accept or refuse him. He was fairly confident that Erestor would accept, but it was obvious that he had shocked the pregnant Elf and Erestor needed a moment to sort out his thoughts.

 

“I do not understand,” whispered Erestor softly.

 

“Please accept,” whispered Glorfindel, once more offering Erestor the hilt of his trusted sword. He had stated his intentions and forced himself to wait for Erestor’s answer.

 

Erestor blinked, his eyes filling with tears, and he quickly forced them back, unwilling to cry in front of Glorfindel. “I thought you had come to condemn me, or to announce you were going to tell Elrond. I never expected this.” When Glorfindel remained quiet, still awaiting his answer, he placed one hand on the hilt of the Balrog Slayer’s sword. There was only one thing he could do as he desperately wanted to befriend Glorfindel. “I accept, but feel I need to warn you that I am not worthy of such loyalty. Elrond is not bound to me and will take a new mate in time. My daughter is…illegitimate.” Bastard: that is what Galadriel would call her.

 

Glorfindel brought Erestor’s hand, which still rested inside his, close to his heart. “My sword and friendship are yours as long as you will live, Erestor.” Seeing the weak smile on Erestor’s face, he felt confident enough to continue. “I know you probably do not want to hear this, but I do think you should be honest with Elrond. He is a goodhearted soul and would never hurt or punish you. He would mourn his sons’ deaths and then look forward to his daughter’s birth.”

 

“I cannot take that risk,” said Erestor softly, hating to disappoint Glorfindel. “I have so much to lose; my freedom, my happiness, my daughter.” He removed his hand from the hilt of the sword and felt relieved when Glorfindel released his other hand as well. Protectively, he rested them on his abdomen. “My greatest wish is that my daughter will be happy here and that Elrond, Haldir and you will raise her well.”

 

“Why would you say that?” Did Erestor plan to leave Imladris? Glorfindel frowned; the dark-haired Elf had just told him how happy he was here.

 

“As you know by now I am a healer and I have studied the few documented cases on male pregnancy. In all cases, either the child or the pregnant Elf died and I told Elrond to choose for my child’s life in case of complications. There is a chance I will never see her.”

 

“Please do not say that. Elrond will make sure both of you survive.”

 

“Elrond is a well-trained healer,” said Erestor, slowly walking away from Glorfindel. He headed for one of the chairs, as he was growing tired and needed to sit down. “But even his skills are limited.”

 

Glorfindel’s frown deepened. “Haldir told me about your natural healing powers. It is a pity that they do not work on yourself.”

 

“Most of my healing energy is focused on Elrond and now that he is healthy and somewhat at peace, only a little of my energy is flowing into his mind. That means I can use more energy to sustain our daughter.”

 

“Elrond should complete the bond and strengthen you in that way,” said Glorfindel firmly. The sad smile that Erestor gave him made his heart clench with sorrow.

 

“I do not want him to be bound to me. He deserves someone better, more worthy of him.”

 

Glorfindel stared in disbelief at Erestor. How could the Elf’s opinion of himself be that low? “Which reminds me, Haldir mentioned you briefly helped Elwing to take care of Elros and Elrond. Just how old are you and what about your family?”

 

“They long entered the Halls of Waiting – at least I think so,” said Erestor thoughtfully, briefly closing his eyes. “I lost contact with my mother when we fell out of grace with Finwe.”

 

“Finwe?” Just when Glorfindel had thought Erestor couldn’t surprise him more, the dark-haired Elf said something like that.

 

“My mother was Indis’ sister and Finwe took a liking to me. Feanor however instantly disliked me and…” Realizing he was revealing things even Haldir didn’t know, he quickly grew silent.

 

“You are that old? You knew Feanor?” Glorfindel had to sit down and collapsed onto the windowsill, which was just big enough to hold him. “I cannot believe this.”

 

“Feanor hated me and so did most of his sons. It took Maglor decades before he could get me into safety. By that time, Feanor had died and I was to live at Maglor’s keep. He then arranged for me to live with Elwing and the twins.” Although his instincts were telling him to stop confiding in Glorfindel, he couldn’t. “I was happy there. You might be surprised to learn that Elrond was a really quiet child. It was Elros who got them into trouble.” Fond memories returned to him. “Elrond loved to listen to the sound of the waves inside seashells and his favorite toy was this stuffed dolphin, made from the softest fabric. He would attack Elros’ octopus with it...” Erestor grew silent, seeing the flabbergasted look in Glorfindel’s eyes. “But you cannot tell Elrond any of this, do you understand?”

 

“I pledged my allegiance to you and I will not go against your wishes, but it hurts me to see that you are making a mistake out of fear.” Glorfindel cocked his head, trying to deal with everything he had learned. “I am surprised Elrond did not recognize you if you took care of him when he was a toddler.”

 

“I was not with Elwing for a long time. I arrived shortly before Maglor and Maedhros attacked. When I learned that Maglor had been involved in that attack, it took me a very long time to accept that fact. But he raised Elrond well, for which I am grateful. Maglor always had a kind heart.”

 

“I still cannot believe you want to keep all of this from Elrond. I have known him for a very long time and I know he would welcome you with open arms – well, maybe after throwing a tempter tantrum at first – but those are nothing to worry about.” Glorfindel sighed deeply. “Please know that you can always count on me.” He rose from his chair, bowed to show his deepest respect to Erestor and then headed for the doorway. “You have my eternal gratitude for saving Elrond from Mandos’ Halls.” After looking at Erestor over his shoulder and seeing the swimming eyes, he quickly closed the door behind him. He had gotten more than he had bargained for when he had pressured Erestor into giving Haldir permission to tell him.

 

He quickly headed back to his rooms, eager to be reunited with Haldir.

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

Haldir -- like Erestor -- had been unable to go to sleep whilst the matter stood unresolved. He had taken a bath and had then slipped between the covers, awaiting Glorfindel’s return. Hopefully their talk had gone well. For some time he had considered following Glorfindel and keeping an eye on them, but he had dismissed the idea, knowing it was something the two of them had to resolve.

 

When the door unexpectedly opened, he immediately sought out Glorfindel’s eyes. They burned with fierce emotions, but his lover seemed at peace. “I gather you talked to him?”

 

Glorfindel nodded, removed his sword, slipped out of his clothes and joined Haldir in bed. Still feeling rather protective, he now released those feelings toward Haldir, as Erestor hadn’t let him release them to him. Wrapping his arms tight around the silver-haired Elf’s waist, he guided Haldir’s head onto his chest and then rested his chin on top of his lover’s soft hair.

 

Haldir was vexed, forced to stare at Glorfindel’s chest instead of his lover’s face, but he allowed it. “How did it go?” Glorfindel’s hold on him tightened and now the blond also folded his long legs around him, almost drawing him into himself. That reaction worried Haldir.

 

“Not as I had hoped,” said Glorfindel eventually, patting the long, silver hair. “I offered him my allegiance, sword arm and friendship. He accepted, but when I advised him to tell Elrond he refused.”

 

“Erestor needs time. He needs to understand that he is safe here and it helps that Elrond likes him. Do not try to force this issue, love.”

 

“I trust your judgment in this matter.” Glorfindel made another decision that moment and slowly rolled Haldir onto his back. Straddling the other’s narrow hips, he brushed some silver locks out of the way and lovingly stared into the hazel eyes. “I wish to consummate our marriage.”

 

Haldir arched a perfectly formed eyebrow. “Now?” Instinctively, he parted his long, muscular legs and allowed Glorfindel to settle between them.

 

“Aye, now. I need to know that you love me and that you are mine. That you will be mine until one of us dies.” Glorfindel placed his hands at either side of Haldir’s head and studied the hazel orbs. “And I would like to be the one to give you pleasure.”

 

Haldir was tempted to make a teasing remark like ‘And still you won’t yield,’ but the words never made it onto his lips, seeing the need in those azure eyes. “I trust you know how to do this?”

 

“I do, but you might have to guide me at times.” Glorfindel lovingly caressed Haldir’s face and offered his lover a fingertip to suckle on, which Haldir promptly did.

 

“Before we go any further,” whispered Haldir, occasionally bestowing a lick to the tip of the digit, “Do you have any oil we can use? I would prefer not to be left sore by you.”

 

“Oil?” Glorfindel reached for the drawer of the nightstand and removed a crystal phial. “I occasionally rub this onto my skin, will it do?”

 

“Excellent,” purred Haldir pleased. “You may continue now.”

 

Glorfindel smiled at that command and pushed the blankets out of the way, revealing Haldir completely to him. “I like seeing you naked.” Still straddling Haldir’s hips, he ran his fingers through the silver mane, savoring the feel of the silken strands flowing through them. “I hope I won’t disappoint you.”

 

Haldir replied by claiming his lover’s lips and gently kissing them. Raising his hips, he caused Glorfindel to slide into position.

 

“My, you are eager,” whispered Glorfindel teasingly. But he wouldn’t be rushed. Using the tip of his tongue, he left a wet trail down Haldir’s throat and chest, suckling an erect nipple until Haldir was thrusting against him. He would have preferred to make this last, but this need to know Haldir was truly his mate overwhelmed him. A part of him realized it was because Erestor couldn’t have Elrond. So now he had to make sure he *did* have Haldir.

 

His lover’s shaft moved against his abdomen and Glorfindel curled his fingers around the slick column of hard flesh, stroking it. It didn’t take Haldir long to thrust into his hand with wild abandon. Glorfindel fell in love all over again, seeing the wanton lust on Haldir’s face and the eagerness with which the proud and beautiful March Warden wanted him.

 

Haldir, who had closed his eyes in bliss, now opened them to look upon his beloved’s face. “Will you take me now or do you intend to draw this out, making me suffer? I need you, now.”

 

Glorfindel removed the stop from the phial and coated his shaft with a generous amount of the oil. “How do you want to do this, meleth-nín?”

 

Haldir pulled his knees toward his chest, making this as easy as possible for Glorfindel. “Take me.”

 

Glorfindel’s mouth watered, seeing Haldir offering himself in this way. Kneeling, he positioned himself at the entrance to his lover’s body. He had never been with a male in this way before, but knew he had to be careful and move slowly if he didn’t want to hurt Haldir internally. “Touch yourself for me,” he purred seductively.

 

Haldir threw back his head in pleasure, feeling Glorfindel slowly push inside. At his lover’s request, he pumped himself slowly, not wanting to come too soon.

 

Glorfindel bit his bottom lip, trying to do this as slowly and gently as possible and when he was finally buried inside his lover’s body, he released a deep and contented sigh. Looking at Haldir, he found that his lover’s brow was furrowed with concentration and he slowly lowered himself onto the silver-haired Elf until he was close enough to nip at Haldir’s throat.

 

“Oh…” Haldir still stroked himself, slowly and at leisure, but when sharp teeth pierced his throat, his member slipped from his fingers. “Aye, more…More!”

 

Glorfindel, relieved that he was pleasing his lover, thrust for the first time and felt like he would come that instant, so he froze, savoring his lover’s tightness.

 

Haldir, however, was in the throes of ecstasy as the tip of Glorfindel’s erection delicately rubbed against his prostate. “Oh!” Lifting his hips, rocking them, he tried to get Glorfindel to move.

 

Glorfindel understood his lover’s need and frantically claimed Haldir’s lips, invading the warm mouth and exploring it. As he delivered another thrust to that hidden gland, Haldir released a strangled whimper beneath him, thrusting back. Now that he felt he had regained some control and wasn’t in danger of coming that instant, Glorfindel slowly pounded into his lover’s body, burying himself hard and deep.

 

Haldir’s eyes flared with lust and he released the sheet he had been clawing at to place his hands on Glorfindel’s buttocks, driving him home even deeper.

 

Their lips still locked, and tongues chasing each other, their lovemaking became wild and urgent. Glorfindel possessed his lover completely, making sure Haldir enjoyed this much as he did. Hot cream now clung to his thigh, telling him his March Warden had found release. “Aiya! Haldir… what?” He thought he would die from pleasure, feeling Haldir’s strong inner muscles contract around him. Arching his back, he threw back his head and released a possessive growl. “Ai!” Finding release, he collapsed onto Haldir’s body.

 

Haldir instinctively wrapped his arms around him and stroked the long, smooth back. Holding him loosely, he waited for Glorfindel to ride out his orgasm.

 

He had never felt this much at peace before and Glorfindel purred like a big cat when he lifted his eyes to look upon his new mate. “Thank you for letting me experience that.”

 

“It was my pleasure.” Haldir placed a kiss on a golden tress and then held Glorfindel’s stare. “Now pull out – slowly. Do not rush it.”

 

Glorfindel pushed himself onto all fours and slowly removed himself from his lover’s body. “Did I hurt you?” he asked, somewhat belatedly.

 

“Nay, you went slow and were careful not to hurt me.” Haldir shifted their positions until they were both on their sides, face to face. “We are now officially married, herven-nín, and I pray you will never regret accepting me as your mate.”

 

“Herven-nín… husband mine…” Glorfindel’s eyes beamed with happiness – and even more with pride – and rested his head on Haldir’s shoulder. “I would like to rest in your arms for the remainder of the night.”

 

“And I would like to hold you,” said Haldir teasingly. They sealed consummating their marriage with a kiss, and then snuggled close to one another, wishing this moment would last forever.

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

“Erestor? Are you awake yet?” Lindir softly knocked on the door to Erestor’s rooms and waited impatiently. “Erestor? Erestor!”

 

Erestor startled awake. It had taken him hours to fall asleep last night, as Glorfindel’s odd behavior had kept him awake. Although he was relieved the matter had been resolved, he continued to feel worried where Glorfindel was concerned. The blond was loyal to Elrond and utterly dedicated to the half-Elf and that made him apprehensive. For how long would Glorfindel be able to keep his secret?

 

“Erestor? Would you please answer me? If you do not, I will fetch Lord Elrond!” Lindir was growing worried now that Erestor wasn’t answering. He was about to turn around and go to Elrond’s chambers instead when Erestor’s soft, obviously sleep-filled voice reached his ears.

 

“Don’t… I am awake. No need to fetch Lord Elrond…” Erestor was panting hard by the time that he had managed to push himself to his feet. It seemed like his belly continued to grow with every passing day. He covered the distance to the door, opened it, and wondered why Lindir was staring at him. “Is something amiss?”

 

“You are still wearing your clothes. Did you sleep in those robes? I brought you nightshirts…” Puzzled to why Erestor would sleep in his robes, Lindir passed Erestor by and studied the pregnant Elf, who looked definitely rumpled. “Did you not sleep well?”

 

Erestor brushed back some tangled strands of hair. “You are right. Sleep did not come easily to me last night.”

 

“Would you like to go back to sleep?” Lindir felt guilty for having woken Erestor when he obviously needed the sleep.

 

“Nay, I am awake now.” Erestor sat down on a chair, flinching when cramps caused spasms in his right leg. “How can I be of assistance, Lindir?”

 

Lindir frowned. “What do you mean?”

 

“Why are you here?” Erestor briefly closed his eyes. The cramps were moving upward to his lower back.

 

“I am here because it is time for you to get up and eat breakfast. Later, if you would like, I can escort you to the library or keep you company if you prefer to stay here.”

 

Erestor’s eyes softened. “Lindir, I can take care of myself. You do not have to attend to me because Lord Elrond told you to. I am sure you have more important tasks to carry out.”

 

Lindir determinedly shook his head. “I am honored to look after you.”

 

Realizing he was fighting a losing battle, Erestor surrendered. “I will comply, then.”

 

“Good!” exclaimed Lindir, pleased. “Do you require help in the bathroom or…?”

 

“I think I can still manage that, thank you,” whispered Erestor, slightly embarrassed.

 

“Any special wishes for breakfast? The cook wants to pamper you.”

 

“Something easily digestible, please.” Erestor pushed himself to his feet and headed for the bathroom, realizing Lindir was back in charge of his time schedule.

 

“I will inform the cook and whilst you are taking a bath, I will select clean robes for you.” Lindir busied himself by tidying up a bit and watched Erestor, making sure the pregnant Elf could do without his assistance. Once he was reassured, he instructed a servant to collect Erestor’s breakfast from the kitchens. Seating himself, he patiently waited for Erestor to return from the bathroom.

 

 

Heart in Chains

Part 26

 

 

Hours later, after having eaten the noon meal, Lindir escorted Erestor to Elrond’s study. Once Erestor was safe with the half-Elf, Lindir took his leave.

 

Elrond smiled at seeing Erestor enter and rose from behind his desk. “Good afternoon, Erestor. Please seat yourself.”

 

Erestor grew nervous, seeing the brilliant smile on Elrond’s lips. Why was Elrond so glad to see him? He gingerly seated himself opposite the half-Elf, the same place where he had sat yesterday. In front of him lay a book, bound in leather, which looked ancient to him. Next to it was a pile of notes. He assumed it was his task to sort them out and he didn’t mind at all, for it meant he would remain here in Elrond’s study for most of the afternoon.

 

“I am relieved to see you, Erestor. Upon my return last night I found you had left my chambers.” Elrond had studied his guest and reached the conclusion that Erestor seemed fine today. “Was anything amiss? Was your stomach still troubling you?”

 

Erestor took the way out Elrond offered him. “Aye, I felt unwell, but a good night’s sleep helped me recover. I feel better now.”

 

“In that case, would you do me the honor of having dinner with me tonight? And this time without Haldir and Glorfindel, as I have the feeling they need some privacy.”

 

Erestor knew he couldn’t refuse the Lord of Imladris and nodded reluctantly. “I accept.”

 

Noticing the conflicting emotions on Erestor’s face, Elrond decided a change in subject was in order. “Would you like to help me today? I seem to recall you offered your assistance yesterday.”

 

“I did,” confirmed Erestor. “I gather this is it?” He pointed at the notes and book.

 

“Aye, I need help with that. Over the years, I collected a large number of recipes for potions with healing qualities and they need to be committed to this book. My handwriting is hard to read at times, so do not hesitate to ask if something is unclear.”

 

Erestor’s interest had been aroused, realizing he might learn recipes for healing potions he didn’t know yet. “I will copy them in my best handwriting.” He held his breath, seeing Elrond rise from behind his desk to lean in closer to open the book at the appropriate page.

 

“You can start writing here. List the potion’s effects first and then its ingredients and quantities,” instructed Elrond.

 

“I understand.” Erestor shifted on the chair until he had attained a comfortable position. Picking up the quill, he gently dipped it in the ink and began to write, aware of the fact that Elrond’s eyes never left him. The half-Elf was studying him and suddenly he began to panic. What if Glorfindel had lied and *had* told Elrond after all? But no, Elrond couldn’t possibly be that calm in that case. It was his just own nervousness that was driving him to panic.

 

Elrond noticed the way the fingers that held the quill trembled ever so slightly and wondered if he had done anything to make his guest uncomfortable. He was about to inquire why Erestor felt uneasy, when Lindir suddenly burst into his study unannounced.

 

“My Lord! The Lady Arwen has just arrived! I hurried here, thinking you would want to know!” Lindir was panting, having run part of the way.

 

“Arwen? My daughter is home!” Overjoyed, Elrond gave Erestor an apologetic look. “Do you mind if I desert you to welcome her?”

 

Erestor managed to hide the apprehension sweeping through him. Arwen, Galadriel’s granddaughter and her favorite, had returned to Imladris. /I knew my happiness would not last./ Arwen had probably taken after Galadriel, as the two she-Elves had spent a lot of time together. An absurd thought occurred to him. /Did Galadriel sent Arwen here because she knows I am here? Is Arwen here to spy on me? Oh, by the Grace of the Valar, what do I do?/

 

“Erestor?” Elrond frowned when Erestor didn’t answer him. He caught one moment of intense stress in the chocolate eyes, but Erestor quickly locked it away again.

 

“Please welcome her and do not worry about deserting me,” said Erestor, forcing a smile onto his face. “I am sure you long to be reunited with her.”

 

“Thank you.” Elrond smiled at him and then hurried out of the room to meet Arwen.

 

Erestor stared at the quill. A moment ago he had been completely happy, and now his world was collapsing all around him. /Like Galadriel, Arwen will make my life miserable and I am in no condition to leave this place. I have to put the baby first and she will need a healer close when she is ready to be born./ So this was it. His happy time here had finally come to an end.

 

“Erestor?”

 

Erestor’s eyes widened, realizing he had forgotten about Lindir. What was the white-haired Elf still doing here? “Do you not wish to join Elrond in welcoming the Lady Arwen?”

 

Until a moment ago, that had been exactly Lindir’s plan, but now he reconsidered. Erestor looked lost and he didn’t want to leave the pregnant Elf alone. “I can welcome her later. What would you like to do? Continue to work here or—“

 

“Aye, I would like that. It is quiet here.” Erestor placed the tip of the quill back on the paper and continued to write, ignoring Lindir.

 

Lindir felt at a loss, but he still didn’t want to leave Erestor. “I will return here in one hour to escort you back to your rooms. That way you have more than enough time to rest before joining us for dinner in the Hall of Fire.”

 

The quill stopped moving. “I do not think I will join you tonight.”

 

“I doubt Lord Elrond will approve of that. There will be a feast to celebrate Lady Arwen’s return.”

 

Erestor didn’t want to attend a feast, but couldn’t say that. “I will be there.” His place at Elrond’s side would doubtlessly be taken by Arwen, banishing him to a table with strangers. But maybe he could convince Haldir to desert Glorfindel momentarily to support him.

 

Lindir nodded approvingly. Laughter, song and dance was just what Erestor needed. Hopefully it would cheer the distressed Elf up. Closing the door behind him, he left Erestor to his work.

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

Elrond’s heart filled with joy at seeing his daughter. Arwen had taken some time to sort out her feelings after Celebrian had left and he was relieved to see her healthy and smiling. “I missed you!” He opened his arms, caught her in them and pressed her carefully to his chest, giving her a tight hug.

 

“And I missed *this*, Ada,” whispered Arwen, somewhat smothered in her father’s embrace. She had always loved being buried in a hug by him. “I am glad that I am home.”

 

Elrond reluctantly released his daughter and smiled at her. “You look well, Arwen. When you left I was afraid you would not return so quickly.” She had been sad and depressed – understandably so after losing her mother – and he had been hurt deeply, realizing he couldn’t help her deal with the loss, that it was something she had to do herself. First she had spent some time with Galadriel, who had comforted and supported her the months after Celebrian had left, and later, she had retreated to one of the cottages near the Bruinen to find her strength again. Now that she had found peace of mind, she had been eager to return home.

 

Studying her father, she realized Elrond had also found a way to deal with the loss. “And you look absolutely radiant.” She had been afraid to lose him when Celebrian had sailed. He had become withdrawn, and had stopped eating. But it seemed he had recovered nicely. His inner light burned bright again.

 

“Radiant?” repeated Elrond, slightly stunned at hearing that.

 

“Aye, it is in your eyes.” Arwen cocked an eyebrow. “Did I miss something whilst I was away?”

“A lot!” said Elrond cheerfully, taking her arm and escorting her to her rooms. “Glorfindel got married for example.” He knew he had stunned his daughter – as he had planned – when she stumbled over her feet. He caught her and smiled at the dumbfounded expression in her eyes.

 

“Glorfindel?” Arwen rolled her eyes. “Our Glorfindel got married?” She laughed warmly, shaking her head, her reaction mirroring Elrond’s when he had found out. “I never thought that scoundrel would ever get married. And who is the lady that has made him lose his head?”

 

A frog suddenly seemed to be caught in Elrond’s throat, when he coughed, “Hal…dirof… ‘rien.”

 

“I did not quite catch that, Ada.” Arwen wondered why her father was suddenly blushing.

 

Elrond shaped up. “Haldir of ‘Lorien.”

 

“But Haldir is a male Elf… Oh…” whispered Arwen, growing flustered as well. “I never knew he favored males, as he seemed to be flirting with the ladies all the time.” She had met Haldir once and had seen him from a distance several times during her stays with her grandmother. Haldir had been an imposing figure and had greatly impressed her. Celeborn had once mentioned he had utter trust in Haldir. Hearing that he had married Glorfindel stunned her. “I will blush when I meet them, I just know it.” She’d had a crush on Glorfindel when she had been a child, and she still secretly adored him.

 

“I doubt you will be the only one blushing,” said Elrond, offering her some reassurance. “I still need to get used the idea of them being married as well. I just hope they will behave in public, but knowing Glorfindel’s mischievous streak I doubt it.”

“I agree,” whispered Arwen in a conspiracy tone. “Ah, it is good to be back!” They had reached her rooms and she entered them, glad to be home, surrounded by her personal belongings. She extended her arms and spun herself around. Exhausted, she flung herself into her father’s arms minutes later. “I won’t be leaving for quite some time,” she said, knowing Elrond wanted her close. “Will dinner be served in the Hall of Fire tonight?” Arwen sat down, tired from the trip, but she still wanted to make an appearance tonight. She was dying to see Haldir and Glorfindel together and secretly she hoped they would misbehave. That would liven up the normally dull evening meals.

 

“Aye, and before I forget to mention this to you; we have a guest with us.”

 

“A guest?” Curious, she cocked her head. “Do I know that guest?”

 

“Nay,” said Elrond, growing slightly nervous. “His name is Erestor and Celeborn asked me to supervise his pregnancy.” Looking at her, he waited for her to fully understand what he had just said.

 

“But you said ‘he’…” Her voice trailed off, her eyes grew big and she jumped up from the couch. “Are you telling me he is pregnant?”

 

“I think that is what I just said. Almost eight months to be exact.” Elrond smiled, bemused. “I think you will like him. He is a bit shy, but I am sure you can make him feel comfortable and welcome here.”

 

Arwen was still trying to wrap her mind around the concept of a male Elf being pregnant. “And he will stay here until after the birth?” Her father was a renowned healer, which was probably the reason for her grandfather sending Erestor here.

 

“I think so. Celeborn would like for Erestor and his child to settle down here and become part of our household.”

 

“There will be a baby in our home?” Arwen was overjoyed. “I always was the baby, at least Elladan, Elrohir and you treated me like that. Now there will be another baby.” Her motherly feelings awoke. “Do you think Erestor will need someone to watch his baby? Would he let me help?”

 

“Arwen, calm down. I am sure he will appreciate your offer to help, but the baby has not been born yet.” Arwen’s enthusiasm was making him giddy in turn. “And aye, it will be good to have a little one in the house again.” Until now, he hadn’t really realized that. This baby would have a lot of Elves fussing over him, as they would all want to pamper him. Children were a grand gift to them and Elrond was sure the baby would be everyone’s favorite.

 

Arwen was smiling happily. “And I will get to meet Erestor this evening?”

 

“At dinner.” Elrond placed a parental kiss on his daughter’s brow, knowing she would want to freshen up and change her clothing. He was about to push down the door handle, when he turned around to ask Arwen one last question. “You visited ‘Lorien many times. Did you ever hear of an extremely powerful healer who resides there?”

 

Arwen searched her memory, but had to disappoint her father. “I did not.” Seeing he was about to ask another question, she quickly added, “And I never heard about Erestor either, if that is what you want to know.”

 

“That was what I wanted to ask you,” admitted Elrond. He nodded absentmindedly, feeling disappointed now Arwen couldn’t help him solve any of these two mysteries. “I will see you at dinner, then.” Elrond returned to his study, hoping Erestor hadn’t left *again*.

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

“Ha, you are still here, good!” Relieved to find Erestor still writing down the recipes in the book, Elrond took his seat behind the desk again. “I apologize for running off like that, but I have not seen Arwen for several months. Losing her mother was hard on her… on all of us.” Elrond noticed that the fingers holding the quill still trembled, but the handwriting remained impeccable.

 

“No need to apologize,” whispered Erestor, not making eye contact. “I understand you were eager to see her.” An hour had passed by and he expected Lindir to return any moment now. Their afternoon walk was off of course, now that Arwen wanted to spend time with her father. He already dreaded having to face her at dinner.

 

Elrond was about to tell Erestor more about his family, when Lindir knocked, and entered. Frowning, the half-Elf wondered what Lindir was doing here.

 

“Ah, you are back,” said Lindir, smiling at Elrond. “I was wondering if you required my services this afternoon in looking after Erestor.”

 

Elrond shook his head, slightly confused. “Nay, Erestor will stay with me. We will work for another hour and then we will go for our walk. I will return him to his quarters before dinner.” Frowning, he added, “Is my tailor already working on Erestor’s new robes?”

 

Erestor blushed at that. He knew he needed new clothes, as he was quickly growing out of the ones Lindir had brought him. They wouldn’t fit in another month.

 

“Aye, and he already completed the first garment.” Lindir smiled at Erestor. “I think you will like it. I will have a servant deliver it to your rooms before dinner.”

 

“Thank you,” whispered Erestor, wondering if he would ever stop thanking them for their kindness.

 

“It is our pleasure,” said Lindir reassuringly, who then left them to their work.

 

Now that they were alone again, Elrond wanted to start another conversation, but sensed Erestor preferred to work in silence for now. Something had upset the Elf. /Is it Arwen’s arrival? But why would her presence upset him?/ Maybe he could find out during their walk.

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

“Erestor? I cannot help but wonder who fathered your children and why he is not here.” This subject had to be addressed. Maybe he could help. Erestor’s scared expression worried him, but Elrond did not retract his question. “Is it Celeborn? Haldir? It will be hard to hide if the baby is born with silver hair.”

 

Erestor, feeling cornered and slightly hysterical, laughed bitterly. “My daughter’s hair will be as black as the night.”

 

Elrond arched an eyebrow. “So none of the ‘Lorien Elves fathered her?”

 

Erestor bit his bottom lip. “I cannot tell you who fathered her.”

 

Elrond accepted that reluctantly. “Can you tell me why the father is letting you do this on your own? You need his support.”

 

Erestor’s eyes danced wildly in their sockets and he looked away, hoping Elrond didn’t catch his extreme discomfort. “He does not know he has fathered her.”

 

Elrond froze in his tracks. “What? Why did you not tell him?” It vexed him that Erestor was doing his best not to meet his gaze. “Erestor?”

 

“He is married and has a family of his own. I do not want to cause him any embarrassment.” Erestor was extremely nervous and tried hard to sound calm, but inwardly his feelings raged.

 

Elrond forced back a growl that seemed to rise from the pit of his stomach. “He has a family of his own and yet he fathered a child with you?”

 

Flinching at Elrond’s tone, Erestor realized he had made a grave mistake. “I do not want to discuss this any longer. Can we return to the house, please?”

 

Elrond realized Erestor had misunderstood. Gently, he placed his hands on Erestor’s shoulders and slowly turned him around until they were face to face. To his relief, Erestor allowed it. “You misunderstood. I am not cross with you, but with him! He should have known better than to bed you when he has his own family.”

 

Forcing a weak smile onto his face, Erestor stared at Elrond, rendered speechless by the half-Elf’s words. “Can we please stop discussing this? It upsets me.” He was about to burst out into tears and his unbalanced emotions were making it even harder.

 

The half-Elf saw the swimming eyes and nodded. “Let us continue our walk.” He released Erestor from his hold and fell into step beside the pregnant Elf. “Have you already thought of a name for your daughter?” Erestor was convinced his baby would be female and he trusted the other’s instincts. Elves did have a special sense for this kind of thing.

 

“Nay,” whispered Erestor, a bit more at ease with answering this question. “I…” He briefly glanced at Elrond and then averted his eyes again.

 

“Please tell me what is troubling you.” Elrond had caught the distress in the dark eyes.

 

“Camfael asked me to read about the documented cases on male pregnancy, and the outcome was never happy. The babies either died, or the pregnant Elf suffered such grave complications that his fëa traveled to Mandos.” Now that he was opening up, he felt he couldn’t stop. “Either I, or my daughter will die, and I do not want to think of a name, knowing…”

 

Elrond rested a hand on Erestor’s arm and said, “That won’t happen. I will be there to prevent it.”

 

“Please remember that I want you to do everything to save the baby, even if it means my death.” Erestor pleadingly looked at Elrond. “I lost my sons and will not go through the mourning process again. I prefer to die.”

 

The naked pain, staring at him from those big eyes, urged Elrond to repeat yesterday’s actions and he carefully embraced Erestor, guiding the other Elf’s head onto his shoulder, as he was slightly taller than Erestor. The pregnant Elf briefly objected, but when he kept him in place, Erestor relented and rested against him. “You might not fully realize it, but you have a friend in me, and as your friend, I am offering you comfort.”

 

Erestor relished being in Elrond’s arms again, but he felt like a fraud for not telling Elrond the truth. /But I cannot do that… Telling him would ruin everything./

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

Erestor closed the door to his rooms behind him and advanced on this bed, seeing Lindir had kept word to deliver his new robes before dinner. Gray robes, made from the finest silk waited for him on his bed, lined with silver. They were light, soft to the touch and wouldn’t add to the bulk he already carried.

 

Tears appeared in his eyes and this time he was unable to force them back. Cursing his fragile state of mind, he let them flow, but made sure not a single tear stained his new robes. /These are gorgeous, Elrond, thank you for them, but you did not have to do this./ He hoped no one would stare at him once he entered the Hall of Fire.

 

The knock on the door took him aback and he considered not answering, unwilling for anyone to see him cry like this.

 

“Erestor? It is I, Haldir. I know you are in. Elrond told me when I ran into him in the corridor.”

 

Erestor sighed, and wiped away his tears. “The door is open.”

 

Haldir, followed by Glorfindel, stepped inside and headed for the distraught Elf on the bed. Erestor probably never realized that his sobs had been audible in the corridor. Signaling for Glorfindel to remain behind him, Haldir went down on one knee and gathered Erestor’s shaky hands in his. “Why are you crying, lirimaer?”

 

Erestor cleared his throat and met Haldir’s eyes, still not realizing Glorfindel was also present. “Elrond… had these robes… made for me… He did not… have to do that.” Erestor continued to wipe away his tears, which refused to stop flowing. “I hate being in this way!”

 

“You are pregnant and these mood swings are part of it,” said Haldir soothingly. He stroked the long, dark hair and smiled at Erestor. “It is a good thing Elrond cares this much about you, is it not?”

 

Glorfindel, watching them, cursed himself for ever promising not to tell Elrond. There was no need for Erestor to suffer in this way, if only the pregnant Elf could bring himself to tell Elrond about the bond!

 

Erestor -- finally calming down -- nodded, and caught sight of Glorfindel, standing behind Haldir. “I think it is, but…”

 

“You are afraid to hope his interest in you will last,” said Haldir knowingly. “Erestor, no one knows what will happen in the future. Live your life each day to the fullest.”

 

Glorfindel nodded his approval. “Elrond does not offer his friendship lightly. He will always be there for you.” He wished he could somehow soothe this troubled soul.

 

Erestor had stopped crying and stared at the robes. “I am supposed to wear them tonight… I think.”

 

“You will look marvelous in them,” said Glorfindel softly. “But first you should take a bath and braid your hair.”

 

“He never wears braids.” Haldir shrugged.

 

“That will change now,” said Glorfindel firmly. “That is, if you will let me braid your hair?” He gave Erestor his best pleading look, hoping the dark-haired Elf couldn’t deny him.

 

Sighing, Erestor nodded. “I will let you.”

 

“Excellent! Off with you into the bathroom, then!” Glorfindel beamed with pride, now that he had made Erestor give in.

 

Erestor flinched. “I think I need help taking a bath. I have trouble getting to my feet again.”

 

“I will help you,” offered Haldir quickly, seeing Glorfindel was about to offer his help as well. “You will wait here… and behave.”

 

“I always behave!” pouted Glorfindel, sitting down mockingly. Tapping his foot on the floor, he watched them disappear into the bathroom. After the door had closed behind him, he jumped to his feet, left the room and headed for his own quarters. He had just the perfect piece of jewelry to adorn Erestor’s raven hair.

 

 

Heart in Chains

Part 27

 

 

Haldir easily recognized the uncomfortable expression in Erestor’s eyes now that the dark-haired Elf was removing his robes. A blush appeared on Erestor’s features and the Elf placed both arms in front of his belly. “I have seen you naked before, you know.”

 

Erestor’s blush deepened, “But not when eight months pregnant,” mumbled Erestor shyly.

 

Haldir had filled the pool with warm water and now added scented bath oils. Walking toward Erestor, he offered the other Elf his hand, which Erestor took, allowing himself to be led to the pool. He made sure he had a tight hold on Erestor’s waist before helping his charge into the pool. He would never forgive himself if Erestor slipped and lost his baby. Once Erestor was comfortably settled in the pool, Haldir reached for a rose scented bar of soap and began to wash the raven hair.

 

“I can do that myself,” said Erestor in a tiny voice, but secretly he enjoyed being fussed over by Haldir.

 

“I enjoy doing this for you.” Haldir took hold of a cup that stood on the windowsill and rinsed the black hair. “There are tangles in it.”

 

“My arm cramped up when I tried to brush my hair this morning,” said Erestor gingerly. Enjoying Haldir’s gentle touch, he began to relax and his tense muscles loosened.

 

“I will let you soak for a moment,” announced Haldir, “whilst I check on my husband’s activities; I have to make sure he is behaving and not getting himself into trouble.” He waited for a reaction and got one.

 

“Husband?” A grin surfaced on Erestor’s face. Looking into Haldir’s eyes, he found them sparkling with mirth. “The two of you… did the deed?”

 

“Aye, we consummated our marriage,” said Haldir with a sly grin. “He is now officially my husband.”

 

“Congratulations are in order, then,” whispered Erestor, “I hope the two of you will always be happy.”

 

“He is a bit of a rascal at times and it is fortunate that I like him that way,” said Haldir teasingly. “I will be right back.”

 

The smile remained on Erestor’s face after Haldir had left. /I am glad you found your beloved, Haldir. I always told you that I was not the one for you and Glorfindel is an excellent choice indeed. A true warrior, worthy of you./ But then depression set in when he realized Haldir would now have even less time for him. Saddened, and feeling alone, he was jolted from his musings when the baby kicked him – hard. “Are you telling me to stop feeling sorry for myself?” Erestor smiled sorrowfully. “It seems you have inherited some of Elrond’s character traits.”

 

“Erestor? I am back.”

 

Looking at Haldir, Erestor wondered about the displeased expression in the hazel eyes. “Is something wrong?”

 

“He took off. He is not in the bedroom any longer.” Haldir shrugged his shoulders once. “I have no idea what he is up to this time.” Gathering a large and fluffy towel, he unfolded it, and draped it over his shoulder. “Let us get you out of there before you turn into a prune, lirimaer.”

 

“Should you still be calling me that?” Erestor wanted to warn Haldir that he would get water all over himself when the march warden leaned in closer, but remained silent, knowing Haldir would tease his remark away.

 

After rolling up his sleeves, Haldir pushed his hands into the water and then around Erestor’s waist. “Try to push yourself upright, I will do the rest. And do not worry, I have a tight hold on you.”

 

Leaving the pool was the scariest part for Erestor. If he slipped, the fall might cause a miscarriage. Curling his fingers around Haldir’s arms, he put his trust in the guardian and began to rise from the pool. He was almost back on his feet, when he lost his footing. His left foot slipped and he released an alarmed yell.

 

“I have got you,” said Haldir firmly, seeing the panic and fear on Erestor’s face. Steadying the dark-haired Elf, he made sure he still had a firm hold on his charge. He quickly folded the towel around Erestor’s shoulders. The dark, chocolate eyes told him how losing his footing had scared him and Haldir continued to hold him tight for a few more moments. “No more baths when you are alone, do you hear me?” Erestor nodded against his chest and Haldir sighed relieved. “Now where is that husband of mine when I need him?”

 

“Did you call for me?” Glorfindel, grinning broadly, stepped into the bathroom. “I hope you were not referring to a husband you have secretly tucked away without telling me. I would highly regret accepting your proposal if you had…” After a moment’s pause to breathe, Glorfindel began to talk again.

 

Haldir listened in amazement to this waterfall of words. Since when was Glorfindel this talkative? But when he saw a brief expression of concern aimed at Erestor in Glorfindel’s eyes, he knew why the Elda was chatting away. /He knows Erestor nearly slipped and is trying to distract him./ He loved Glorfindel even more for doing that.

 

Erestor, still leaning heavily against Haldir, allowed them to take charge of the situation. During his near slip, his heart had pounded madly and it was still trying to return to its original rhythm. If he had taken that fall and lost his child, he would never have recovered, knowing it was his fault she had died. In order to convince himself that she was all right, he rubbed his abdomen, promptly receiving a kick. His daughter was fine. Forcing himself to pay attention to what Glorfindel was saying, he looked at the Balrog Slayer, suddenly realizing the blond was staring at him. He yelped, finding that Haldir had removed the towel, leaving him naked again. “Haldir!”

 

Glorfindel, seeing Erestor’s embarrassment, quickly draped a morning robe across the dark-haired Elf’s shoulders. “You must excuse my husband. Sometimes he has the manners of an Orc – none at all.” He berated himself for staring at Erestor, but he had never seen a pregnant male before and the distended stomach had taken him aback.

 

“My manners are better than yours,” growled Haldir, hoping the bantering would reassure Erestor. With a quick look and cocking his head, he asked Glorfindel without words to leave the bathroom and his husband complied.

 

Erestor released a relieved sigh now that Glorfindel had left. “Why is he fussing over me?”

 

“He likes you,” said Haldir honestly. “Whilst I was away I retrieved your clothing for tonight and this.” Haldir presented a beautifully crafted phial filled with oil. “Your skin is extremely brittle. I have never seen anything like it before. It must be due to your pregnancy and you should pamper yourself. Rub this onto your skin – that is, the parts you can reach, I will do the rest.”

 

Erestor removed the stopper and began to rub the rose scented oil onto his skin. Haldir was always attentive and he smiled gratefully at the guardian. “My skin has been itching lately.”

 

“Then apply it generously,” advised Haldir, who busied himself sorting out the underwear, shoes, shirt and robes.

 

“I cannot reach my back and it also itches,” said Erestor softly.

 

Haldir took hold of the phial, let some oil drip onto Erestor’s back and massaged the rich substance into the skin. “You will smell of roses tonight.”

 

The blush returned, and Erestor smiled shyly at Haldir. “Do you think Elrond likes the scent of roses?”

 

“I am sure he does. Who does not like their rich fragrance?” Haldir finished doing Erestor’s back, put the oil away and retrieved another towel to dry Erestor’s hair. Once he was satisfied that it wouldn’t drip onto the clothes, he helped Erestor into the underwear and shirt. “I will help you into the robes after Glorfindel braids your hair.”

 

“I do not wear braids,” said Erestor gingerly. “I am not a warrior.”

 

“You are a warrior,” said Haldir, helping Erestor back to his feet. “A warrior of the heart.” He smiled, wondering about the crimson blush on his friend’s face and attributed it to the mood swings. Whilst carrying the robes over one arm, he locked the other around Erestor’s waist and guided him into the bedroom where Glorfindel was waiting for them, armed with combs and brushes.

 

Erestor groaned. “What did I agree to?”

 

Haldir cocked his head, wondering the same thing. “Glorfindel, he is all yours.”

 

The beaming smile on the blond’s face made Erestor expect the worst, but he complied and sat down on the bed. Glorfindel knelt behind him on the mattress and gently ran the brush through the dark mane, which reached his hips.

 

“You have tangles and knots in your hair,” said Glorfindel softly, concentrating on the task at hand. He hoped that Erestor would relax and grow comfortable whilst he worked on the plaits. He had a special design in mind and the mithril hair clip would hold the braids in place. It depicted a golden flower, set in a heart of mithril leaves.

 

Erestor ignored Glorfindel and asked Haldir, “Have you ever met the lady Arwen?”

 

“Once, I think,” said Haldir thoughtfully, sitting down on the windowsill. “She is really beautiful.” Hearing Glorfindel’s snort, he added, “If one fancies females.”

 

“But you do not,” said Glorfindel, returning the teasing. “If I catch you looking at her in a certain way—“

 

Haldir interrupted him, unable to resist the bantering. “Then what?”

 

Glorfindel chuckled softly. “You do not stand a chance anyway. She prefers her Elves golden-haired.”

 

Haldir raised an eyebrow. “What?”

 

“When she was an Elfling she had a crush on me,” revealed Glorfindel, amused.

 

Erestor decided to step in before their bantering got out of hand. “What is Arwen like?” He glanced at Glorfindel over his shoulder and the blond cursed softly when the braid he was working on slipped from his fingers. Normally, Erestor would have flinched, but the Elda no longer struck him as someone who would grow cross with him.

 

Glorfindel started all over again. “Now sit still or this will take throughout dinner.” Recalling Erestor’s question, he added, “All three children take after Elrond in their appearance and character wise. Arwen is a gentle soul, much like her father. There is strength in her and loyalty. The male who wins her heart will be very fortunate indeed.”

 

“And she… she spent a lot of time with Galadriel?” Erestor heard the hiss Haldir released and looked at his protector.

 

Glorfindel had also heard that hiss, and was reminded that neither Erestor, nor Haldir liked Galadriel. “Aye, she adores her grandparents.”

 

Erestor, still worried about meeting Arwen, told himself to calm down. There was nothing he could do right now and worrying would only upset him. Resting a hand on his abdomen, he rubbed the skin gently. “I think she is eager to be born.”

 

“You really should decide on a name,” said Haldir, watching Glorfindel braid Erestor’s hair, liking what the blond was doing with the raven hair. The blush on Erestor’s face added to his friend’s beauty and Haldir expected Erestor to look ravishing once the braids were finished and the robes in place. /Elrond might lose his heart to you tonight./

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

Elrond felt proud and at peace, escorting his daughter to the main table. Arwen looked truly beautiful tonight, dressed in a gown of blue silk and with silver flowers woven into her long hair. He had missed her and was glad she was back and tonight they would celebrate her return to them. A feast was to be held and everyone was relaxed, sipping miruvor and eating the special treats the cooks had prepared.

 

Arwen smiled happily at the Elves who welcomed her back and sat down at her father’s left side. Delighted, she found Haldir and Glorfindel already present and the two warriors quickly rose to their feet to welcome her. Now that she was seated, they took their places again. “Glorfindel,” Arwen started sweetly, “I must confess I always hoped you would give me your heart in turn.” She loved to tease him with her childhood crush as he had always been kind and understanding of her feelings. “And I promise not to sneak into your bed any longer.”

 

Glorfindel chuckled, and at seeing Haldir’s arched brow, he quickly explained, “She was an Elfling, only sixteen years old, when she found her way into my bed. I told you, she was in love with me.”

 

Haldir held onto his dignity and inclined his head to Arwen. “I compliment you for enduring his presence. He can be a nuisance at times.”

Delighted that they were playing along, Arwen smiled brilliantly at them. “And Glorfindel, I hope you will misbehave tonight.”

 

Glorfindel laughed warmly, but grew silent when a murmur swept through the hall, demanding his attention. He quickly located the reason for the whispers and smiled, seeing Elrond rise from his chair. Erestor had appeared in the doorway and although his pregnancy showed clearly, it also gave him an ethereal beauty, which was enhanced by the delicate robes and intricate braiding.

 

Erestor’s stomach felt tense, realizing everyone was staring at him. What was he to do now? He decided to head for Elrond’s table, needing to know which table he was assigned to, for he did need to sit down. Advancing on the main table, his eyes locked with Arwen’s. Glorfindel had mentioned that all three children had taken after their father and he was grateful to see that she hadn’t inherited Celebrian’s features, reminding him of Galadriel. Coming to a stand still in front of the table, he quietly addressed Elrond. “Where am I supposed to sit tonight?”

 

Elrond felt entranced seeing Erestor and blinked twice, trying to clear his head of the divine vision in front of him. The robes fit perfectly and even slightly concealed his distended abdomen. Erestor suddenly looked at Haldir and Glorfindel, turning his head away from him and Elrond saw the hair clip that held the braids in place. One eyebrow arched, he looked at Glorfindel. He had seen the Elda wear this mithril hair clip on several occasions and he knew it was a family heirloom. /Glorfindel seems to have taken Erestor under his wing./

 

“Lord Elrond?” Erestor was growing nervous now that Elrond wasn’t answering him and he began to search for a free seat. There was an empty chair next to Elrond, but he doubted it was meant for him.

 

“Here, at my side of course,” managed Elrond eventually, drawing in a deep, steadying breath.

 

Surprised, Erestor walked toward Elrond, who helped him sit down. Feeling Arwen’s eyes on him, he fumbled with the napkin, wishing she would look away.

 

Elrond, sensing Erestor’s tension, cleared his throat. “Erestor? May I introduce you to my daughter? This is Arwen.”

 

Gingerly, Erestor looked at her. The big eyes revealed her every feeling and for one moment he hoped his fears had been in vain. Maybe she would like him. “My Lady, I am honored to meet you.”

 

Arwen wondered about Erestor’s subdued manner and frightened expression, and felt the need to reassure the pregnant Elf. “There is no need for titles here, Erestor. Please call me Arwen.” She gave him her most stunning smile.

 

Erestor returned the smile weakly, afraid to hope his fears had proved ungrounded. Lost for words, he hoped one of the other Elves would save him from obvious embarrassment. But Glorfindel’s hand had disappeared below the table and Haldir’s hazel eyes were big, doubtlessly due to some actions going on beneath the table. He couldn’t help but smile at them. In the end, it was Arwen who addressed him.

 

“My father tells me you are eight months pregnant? I must admit I never knew a male could get pregnant.”

 

“It seldom happens,” replied Erestor, hoping his voice sounded steady. “But it is possible.”

 

Elrond was beginning to feel redundant now that Arwen seemed so taken with Erestor, but as he wanted them to become friends, he remained quiet and listened instead, hoping to learn more about Erestor.

 

“I hope to have children one day,” said Arwen, moving closer toward Erestor. If Elrond hadn’t been sitting in between them, she would have moved even closer. “I love babies and I want to offer you my help, should you ever need someone to look after your baby. I would love to help.”

 

Flabbergasted, Erestor involuntarily nodded his head. What else could he do, except accept her offer? Arwen was nothing like Galadriel and much like Elrond, for which he felt grateful. /I panicked over nothing. Arwen is kind and seems to like me./

 

Smiling happily, Arwen turned to Glorfindel. “Please play the lyre for me tonight, and Ada, join him. I missed hearing your beautiful compositions.”

 

Glorfindel sighed, seemingly pouting, but agreed. “Haldir? Do you play any instrument?”

 

Haldir wriggled an eyebrow. “Oh, I know how to play your instrument, hervenn-nín.” Well, Arwen had told them to misbehave. He could do that.

 

Glorfindel groaned. “Aiya, what did I do to end up married to you?”

 

“You accepted my proposal,” teased Haldir.

 

Elrond cleared his throat. “Answer his question properly, Haldir. I see no reason why only Glorfindel and I need to suffer because my daughter desires to be entertained.”

 

“I play the flute, my Lord,” said Haldir impishly, his fingers mimicking playing the instrument. “It has the perfect shape, long, thick—“

 

“Haldir!” Elrond blushed. “There is a lady present at our table.”

 

“Oh, I do not mind, Ada. I think they are cute!” Arwen’s smile changed into a wicked grin. “Ada, please play for us!”

 

Elrond realized he wasn’t going to get out of it and signaled for Glorfindel, Haldir and Lindir to join him. They rose from their chairs and headed for the small stage set for the occasional concert the Imladris Elves were treated to. Several other Elves joined them and all sat down, rearranging their robes before tuning their musical instruments.

 

Elrond would play his beautifully crafted Elven harp and the half-Elf noticed the excited looks Erestor was giving him. Erestor was curious.

 

“Here, drink this. I asked my father if you could drink Miruvor and he approved, as long as you did not empty the whole carafe.” Arwen, unnoticed, had moved one seat closer to Erestor and after placing a crystal glass in front of him, she rested her left hand on his arm. “My father has a grand voice.”

 

Erestor felt startled at finding her so close and sipped the miruvor, hoping it would calm his nerves.

 

Haldir watched them and liked what he saw. Arwen apparently had ‘adopted’ Erestor and was now taking over looking after him in Elrond’s absence. And even more importantly, he had seen the look in Elrond’s eyes when Erestor had approached their table. That look had told him that the half-Elf was falling for Erestor. Grinning from ear to ear, he wondered how long it would take Elrond to make his first move.

 

But then the first tones of music urged him to concentrate on his part in this musical play and Haldir directed his gaze to Glorfindel, who was playing his lyre. He established eye contact with his husband and devoured him with his eyes. /I will teach him to behave… Asking me if I play an instrument. I might show him tonight./

 

Soft and enchanting music flowed through the Hall of Fire, warming Erestor from the inside. His gaze continued to shift from Elrond’s face to those agile and expert fingers plucking the strings. Erestor smiled dreamily at the half-Elf, never realizing Arwen had refilled his glass. Sipping contently, the warmth continued to course through his body and he even ate some delicacies the cooks had prepared just for him.

 

The music faded, the musicians accepted the applause and returned to their seats. All Elves now gathered around the stage for the story telling that would take place, but Elrond was not interested in that. He was interested in returning to Erestor’s side. “Arwen?” He arched an eyebrow, finding his seat occupied. He was not giving it up to her.

 

Arwen pouted her lips, having realized her father’s interest in Erestor and moved back to her own chair. Seeing the spark in Elrond’s eyes whenever he looked at Erestor, she felt happy for him, which surprised her. She had always thought she would resent her father for growing interested in a possible mate again, but it was impossible to dislike Erestor and she was determined to befriend him.

 

Now that Elrond had reclaimed his seat, he accepted Erestor’s compliments for his excellent play. At the same time he noticed his guest was sipping miruvor, which probably explained the rather mellow mood the usually timid Elf was in. The miruvor wouldn’t do any harm, as long as Erestor didn’t overindulge himself and he approved of the effect it was having on Erestor. The large eyes were free of worries and fears, and Erestor was even leaning in closer, smiling at him.

 

It was exactly at that moment that he lost his heart to Erestor.

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

“I think… I should retire now…” Erestor had drunk three glasses of miruvor during the evening and was now feeling its effects. He felt giddy, warm and happy. The fact that Elrond was only talking to him made him even happier and he wanted the evening to never end. Eventually, however, his eyes began to grow vacant with fatigue and he needed to head back to his rooms. But he wasn’t sure he could still find the way and his feet seemed uncooperative.

 

“I will take you back to your rooms,” offered Elrond at once. Erestor had needed to relax, to let go of his worries for one evening and the miruvor had apparently done the trick. Elrond rose from his chair and helped Erestor to his feet. Although the pregnant Elf leaned heavily against him, Elrond dismissed Haldir’s offer to help. “I can manage.” He wanted some moments alone with Erestor. Guiding his charge out of the Hall of Fire, he felt probing eyes in his back, but decided to ignore them.

 

Haldir, Arwen, Glorfindel and even Lindir exchanged conspiring glances. “I saw that look,” said Arwen, revealing she knew about the attraction as well. “When did it start?”

 

“When Erestor entered the hall,” mumbled Glorfindel, indulging himself by drinking a sweet, white wine. “Our efforts paid off, hervenn-nín.”

 

Arwen questioningly arched an eyebrow. “Your efforts?”

 

“I braided his hair and loaned him my hair clip… Haldir helped him into his robes. Erestor looked stunning.” Glorfindel sipped again, beginning to feel its effects as well. He quickly put down the glass and asked for water instead.

 

Arwen sighed blissfully. “I like Erestor... And I want my father to be happy.”

 

Glorfindel chuckled. “Another match maker?”

 

“You are trying to get the two of them together?” Arwen smiled, glad she had returned to Imladris in time to witness her father falling in love again. She hoped everything would work out.

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

Elrond maintained a tight hold on Erestor’s waist, escorting him back to his rooms. Erestor’s head rested – no, lolled – against his shoulder and he smiled, sensing how relaxed Erestor was. His eyes widened, hearing Erestor purr. /Purr? Is he really purring?/ The sound was extremely erotic, and desire awoke in his heart. “We have reached your rooms, my friend.” Elrond opened the door and led Erestor inside.

 

“Stop-p…” whispered Erestor, still heavily under the influence of the potent miruvor. “S-stay…”

 

“I cannot, even if I wanted to,” whispered Elrond. “You drank too much miruvor and you do not really know what you are saying.” Oh, how he wanted to give in to this desire and hold Erestor through the night. But he couldn’t. Not with Erestor in this state.

 

But Erestor was desperate to keep Elrond close and looked him in the eyes, bringing his lips closer to the half-Elf’s. “P-please stay…”

 

It took every ounce of Elrond’s self-discipline not to instigate a kiss. “Erestor, it is the miruvor speaking. Let me put you to bed so you can sleep and we will talk about this in the mor--.” Unexpectedly, Erestor’s lips closed over his in an urgent kiss. Elrond closed his eyes and prayed to the Valar to give him the strength he needed to do the right thing. He allowed for the kiss to happen, but then laid Erestor down on the bed.

 

“You… t-taste… s-weet-t…” Erestor curled up on his side, smiled, and his eyes filled with reverie.

 

Covering Erestor with a light blanket, Elrond sat down on the side of the bed. His fingertips ghosted over his lips, still feeling Erestor’s pressed against them. It had felt good – right. And he wanted more.

 

 

Heart in Chains

Part 28

 

 

Erestor stared at the ceiling. He had woken up a moment ago and now his head was filled with images, showing him what had happened at the feast. He had drunk miruvor and then… then Elrond had escorted him back to his rooms. He had made a big fool out of himself by throwing himself at the half-Elf and kissing him. By the Grace of the Valar, had he really told Elrond he tasted sweet?

 

Groaning, he turned onto his side, curling up in a fetal position. What had he done? And even more importantly, how would Elrond react to being kissed? Would the half-Elf grow distant or could he convince Elrond that it had been due to the miruvor and his emotional unbalance? Would Elrond believe that? And forgive him for being that forward? /Why did I do that?/ The answer was rather simple, though. He had been desperate to keep Elrond close, never wanting to let him go again. Elrond had paid him a lot of attention last night and he had loved it.

 

Growing uncomfortable in his robes, he slowly pushed himself into a sitting position. He was wearing last night’s clothes and Glorfindel’s hair clip was still holding his braids in place. Worried, he rubbed the bridge of his nose. How could he face Elrond today? Should he send a message saying he didn’t feel well? Nay, that wouldn’t work, as Elrond – the healer – would want to check on him. He didn’t have a choice. He had to face the half-Elf, but first he needed to decide on a strategy. Should he pretend he had forgotten about the kiss? Or should he bring it up at once, but blame it on the miruvor? The liquid had certainly contributed to him feeling bold enough to kiss Elrond. Surely the half-Elf knew that? At least his daughter was taking pity on him and not kicking for a change!

 

“Erestor? May I enter?”

 

Erestor groaned, hearing Lindir’s cheerful voice. “Let me be, please.”

 

“I cannot do that. Lord Elrond told me to check on you.”

 

Erestor sighed dejectedly. “Then come on in if you must!” Erestor was not looking forward to being prodded and questioned by the curious Elf.

 

Lindir entered and smiled at Erestor. The fact that Elrond had appeared even more rumpled than usual to eat his breakfast led him to believe that something sweet had happened between them. Briefly, he felt a pang of guilt. After all, Celebrian had only left for Valinor eight months ago, but like Arwen, he put his Lord’s happiness first and Celebrian had set Elrond free to love again. “I gather you do not feel well this morning?” Lindir pulled up a chair and sat down opposite Erestor. “Did the miruvor give you a headache?”

 

“Nay, it did not.” /The kiss did./ Erestor felt embarrassed for giving in to his feelings. If only it hadn’t been for that bloody miruvor!

 

“May I tell one of the servants to bring breakfast in that case?”

 

Erestor nodded once. “And would you help me out of these robes? I also need to return this hair clip to Glorfindel.” His fingertips moved over the mithril jewelry.

 

“Ah, I thought I had seen it before,” said Lindir, “It does suit you.” He rose from his chair, called out to a servant to bring Erestor’s breakfast and then returned to his charge. “What do you prefer? Leggings? Shirt? Robes?”

 

“Robes,” replied Erestor. Leggings would make his swollen abdomen stand out even more.

 

Lindir examined Erestor’s wardrobe and selected purple robes, made from the lightest silk, with earth-toned lining. “I trust this will do?”

 

Erestor frowned. “I have never seen those before.”

 

“Whilst you were at the feast the tailor finished another of your garments. I hope the color and design please you?”

 

Erestor smiled, genuinely pleased. “I need to thank Elrond for his generosity.”

 

Lindir smiled warmly. “Since your arrival Lord Elrond smiles a lot more. He was rather quiet and saddened because his wife had sailed for Aman, but it seems you have changed that.”

 

Erestor averted his eyes. “I have no intentions of taking the Lady Celebrian’s place in whatever way.”

 

“You could not, even if you wanted,” said Lindir thoughtfully. “She was unique and much loved by her family,” he paused, seeing the dejected expression on Erestor’s face, “but you can be a companion to Lord Elrond. You are your own person and he likes your company. I like to see my Lord happy and I even think he is looking forward to watching your child grow up here in Imladris.”

 

“That would be more than I could ever hope for,” whispered Erestor, a lump of emotions forming in his throat.

 

Lindir frowned at the comment, but then the servant bringing Erestor’s breakfast arrived and Lindir helped Erestor to the table, where the dark-haired Elf sat down. “Oh, before I forget; the Lady Arwen wondered if you are willing to spend the morning with her instead of in the library. She said something about creating a nursery?”

 

The truth was that Arwen had dashed into her father’s rooms when the half-Elf had been in the middle of eating breakfast. She had asked him permission to change one of the inner suites into Erestor’s own rooms and furnish one of the adjoining rooms as a nursery. Elrond had approved and given her a free hand. Upon hearing that, she had left smiling. Lindir had given Elrond a knowing smile; realizing the half-Elf had said yes because then she would be occupied, which left Erestor and Elrond with more time to spend together.

 

“Lindir?”

 

Erestor’s voice forced him to abandon his musings and he concentrated on his charge. Delighted, he noticed that the dark-haired Elf had eaten almost everything on the breakfast tray. “Your appetite is improving.”

 

“You are fattening me up,” mumbled Erestor, realizing he would quickly gain weight these last few months of his pregnancy, most certainly when they continued to make him eat in this way.

 

“So… may I inform the Lady Arwen that you feel well enough to receive her?”

 

“She is coming to my rooms?” Erestor wasn’t sure how he felt about Arwen. He had wanted to like her last evening, but still wasn’t sure she didn’t have a hidden agenda, given to her by Galadriel.

 

Lindir arched an eyebrow and waited patiently for Erestor to make up his mind.

 

“Aye, you can tell her that I will talk to her.” Erestor pushed away the tray and managed to get to his feet. Picking up the purple robes, he said, “I need help changing into them.”

 

Lindir smiled; only a few days ago Erestor had been too timid to make such a request. “I will assist you.”

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

“Erestor?” Arwen entered the dark-haired Elf’s rooms and searched his features for clues that would tell her what he was thinking. Seeing he was struggling to rise to welcome her, she quickly hurried toward him, saying, “Please stay seated, my friend!”

 

Erestor sighed and sat back down. “Thank you, my Lady.”

 

“My name is Arwen.” She seated herself on the couch next to him. “Did Lindir tell you about my plans for a nursery?”

 

“He did.” Erestor moistened his lips, feeling a bit uneasy now that she was this close. He still couldn’t rule out that Galadriel had sent her here for a reason. “Do you really think a nursery is necessary? Placing a crib in my rooms would suffice as well.”

 

Arwen’s eyes revealed her displeasure. “And what about the baby clothes? The toys? There are so many things to consider.” She smiled seductively. “We could pick a theme for the nursery and it would be finished before your baby is born.” She blushed weakly. “You may have noticed that I am looking forward to the baby’s birth.”

 

“I noticed,” whispered Erestor absentmindedly. “But why?”

 

“I was always the baby in this household,” explained Arwen patiently, “And now I won’t be the youngest any longer. And… I must confess I would like to play with her and sit with her when you need rest. I… I want to be a mother some day and this would help me prepare. I hope you will let me.”

 

Erestor swallowed hard. Could it be that she had no hidden motives and was just trying to be nice and help? Looking at her, he studied her features and was hard pressed to find any semblance of Celebrian or Galadriel. Arwen had inherited her father’s looks and disposition. Maybe allowing her in was a risk worth taking. “And where would you situate this nursery?” He looked about the bedroom, wondering if she planned to put in another wall to separate this room from the nursery.

 

“Not here,” said Arwen, realizing he had misunderstood. “I found some lovely quarters located in the north wing.”

 

The north wing? Erestor frowned. Wasn’t that where Elrond’s quarters and his children’s were located? “Are you sure we cannot use these rooms instead?”

 

Arwen cleared her throat. “These are guest quarters, Erestor. You cannot live and raise your child here. You need your own rooms.”

 

“Oh, I should accept your generous offer then,” mumbled Erestor, wondering why she was so determined to do this for him.

 

“May I show you the rooms I selected?” Arwen rose from the couch, rearranging her burgundy dress, decorated with lace and golden embroidery.

 

Even Erestor had to admit that she looked lovely. “I will join you.” Slowly, he rose from the couch and placed one hand beneath his abdomen. Briefly forgetting about her presence, he mumbled, “I cannot even see my feet.”

 

“How does it feel?” asked Arwen, hearing his comment. “What is it like? Being pregnant?”

 

Erestor gave her a weak smile. “Not counting the extra weight? Mood swings? Nausea followed by food cravings? Those terrible muscle cramps and being unable to do much without assistance?”

 

She rolled her eyes, smiling. “Aye, in spite of all that.”

 

“What makes up for all those things is the fact that I can feel her. I feel her presence in my mind. Also her kicks are strong and constantly assure me she is well.”

 

“You are convinced it will be a baby girl?” Arwen was delighted. “I always wanted a sister and—“ She stopped, shocked to see him flinch and turn away from her. “I meant no disrespect,” she said quickly, resting a hand on his shoulder. “I would look upon her as a sister, as I never had one but always wanted a younger sister.”

 

Erestor firmly wiped away the tears that flowed from his eyes, as he didn’t want Arwen to see him cry. But hearing her say that... “Thank you, it will help, knowing you will accept and love her.”

 

Arwen frowned at his words, realizing she was missing something important, but as she didn’t know what had upset him, she opted for distraction. “Maybe you already have certain ideas for the nursery?” Taking his arm, she guided him to the doorway.

 

“Nay, I never thought there would be one.” Erestor blinked. “Where are you taking me?” He suddenly found himself standing in the corridor.

 

“Well, to your new rooms of course. Lindir is already making plans to move your belongings to your new chambers while you are working with my father this afternoon. When you return from your walk, you will find the bedroom ready and we will start on the nursery tomorrow.”

 

Erestor allowed her to pull him along through the corridors, wondering how Elrond would react, learning his new quarters would be situated in the family wing.

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

Glorfindel watched Haldir sleep and leaned in closer to press a kiss on the bruised lips. Last night, Haldir had proven to him that he was very talented when it came to playing the flute and the memory brought an impish grin to his face. “Good morning, my love,” whispered the blond, having mercy on the bruised lips as he moved to kiss a silver strand of hair. “I trust you slept well? My bed is comfortable, especially with me in it.”

 

Haldir shook his head at such arrogance. “It would be less comfortable if I decided to seek out my own bed instead.”

 

“Ah, but you must stay with me now that we are married, melme.” Glorfindel pushed himself onto all fours and crawled atop his husband. Lowering himself, he blanketed the March Warden’s body. “Seriously, will you move into my rooms?”

 

“Would you like that?” Haldir raised his right hand and used a fingertip to trace the outline of Glorfindel’s lips. “Are you not afraid we would end up at each other’s throats?”

 

“Nay, meleth-nín, I think we will find other, more pleasant ways to entertain ourselves.” Nipping at Haldir’s bottom lip, he aligned their erections and began to thrust against him.

 

Haldir arched an eyebrow and Glorfindel, seeing it, explained, “I do not want to leave you sore, and we do have to join today’s patrol.”

 

“You are exhausting me, Balrog Slayer,” mumbled Haldir, closing his eyes and surrendering to the lovely sensation. They moved in unison and when Glorfindel licked his earlobe, Haldir found release.

 

Feeling the warm and wet liquid splash against his abdomen, Glorfindel reached orgasm as well. Grinning in a silly way, he licked a bead of sweat from Haldir’s brow, enjoying the salty flavor. “We should clean up and join the guards.”

 

Haldir groaned. “It will be an exhausting day.”

 

“You might be right about that. We are checking the southern borders and there has been some Orc activity, which we need to monitor. If we run into them…”

 

“Then we will have to kill them,” finished Haldir for him. “In that case, get off of me. I need to take a bath and get dressed.” Glorfindel moved off of him and Haldir sat upright. After getting to his feet, he marched into the bathroom. Seeing his reflection in the mirror, he growled at his husband, who had joined him. “You could have kept the marks beneath the collar!”

 

Glorfindel gave him an ‘innocent’ smile. “I want everyone to know you are mine.”

 

“That can be arranged,” growled Haldir, grabbing hold of Glorfindel. He first sucked at the skin of the blond’s throat and then bit playfully, leaving him marked in turn. “I won’t be the only marked one patrolling the borders,” he chuckled amusedly, releasing the Elda from his hold.

 

Now it was Glorfindel’s turn to stare at his reflection. He rolled his eyes and gave the silver-haired Elf a withering look, saying, “Oh, very original. I thought you would do better.”

 

But Haldir saw the sparkle in Glorfindel’s eyes. “I can do better,” growled Haldir. “I am March Warden of the Galadhrim. You might have slain a Balrog, but I might ‘slay’ you eventually.”

 

Shivers of eager anticipation traveled down Glorfindel’s spine. “I won’t yield to you, hervenn-nín. You will have to make me.” He hoped that Haldir would accept the challenge. The thought of Haldir assuming control aroused him.

 

“Ah, is that the way you want me?” Haldir’s eyes burned with mirth and lust. “That can be arranged, my dear husband. I *will* make you,” he purred, pressing himself against Glorfindel.

 

“Careful, we still need to clean up.”

 

Haldir laughed, removed his clothes and stepped into the pool. “Are you joining me?”

 

Glorfindel nearly drooled at the sight of his husband’s muscular, yet agile body. “Oh, how could I ever resist?” Within moments, he had joined him.

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

“*These* are the rooms you had in mind for me?” Erestor had thought his guest quarters spacious, but these quarters consisted of a large master bedroom, a study, a luxurious bathroom and a garden where a waterfall gentle splashed down the rocks. It was perfect for raising a child!

 

“Aye.” Arwen watched Erestor as he explored the already furnished bedroom. “We could use the room that was intended to be a study as the baby’s nursery instead.”

 

“I would like that.” The rooms were filled with warm sunlight and a gentle breeze entered through the windows.

 

“If you like the idea, we could have the walls in here painted,” said Arwen, entering the future nursery. “Maybe something soothing?”

 

Elrond had heard their voices and was now walking toward them, but remained hidden a little longer because he wanted to study Erestor. He still wondered about that kiss, and his eager reaction to it.

 

“The sea…” whispered Erestor absentmindedly. “Waves… seagulls, seashells and dolphins.”

 

In the bedroom, Elrond frowned. Now that was an odd wish. He had expected Erestor to request a forest scene, birds, maybe other animals, but never the sea.

 

“Dolphins?” Arwen had never seen these animals before. “Why the sea?”

 

“I lived in the Havens of Sirion for a short while,” replied Erestor, reliving happy moments with Elwing and the twins. “I liked it there.”

 

Seeing a genuinely happy smile on Erestor’s face, Elrond wondered just how old Erestor was. Had the pregnant Elf maybe even known his parents? If so, why had Erestor never mentioned it? Erestor became more of a mystery with every passing day.

 

“I think we can arrange for that,” said Arwen, “There are several artists here who have seen the sea and they should be able to paint some interesting scenes.” She lifted her hand and slowly rested it on his arm. “I gather you like these rooms?”

 

“I do.” Erestor nodded his head. “But are you sure no one will mind me moving in? This is the family wing and I… I am not family.”

 

Elrond took that remark as his cue to get involved in the conversation. “I welcome the idea of you moving into these rooms.” Originally, they had been intended for Elladan, but the twins had preferred to share quarters, leaving these perpetually empty. “I am sure you and your daughter will be happy here.”

 

Arwen nodded her approval at hearing her father’s words, but Erestor paled visibly. Elrond realized he had startled the pregnant Elf, who had thought he was alone with Arwen. “I overheard your conversation and decided to join you.”

 

Erestor trembled slightly, now that he unexpectedly faced Elrond. Images of kissing the half-Elf returned to him and the pallor made way for a crimson blush. He quickly averted his eyes, realizing he had been staring at the Peredhel. /Elbereth help me, what do I do?/

 

“I am on my way to my study, Erestor, would you like to join me? We can enjoy the noon meal together and then go for a walk.” He wanted Erestor to himself.

 

“Aye, that is a good idea,” agreed Arwen, “In the meantime I will start on the decorations for the baby’s room.”

 

Erestor sighed, nodded, and then walked toward Elrond. Feeling the half-Elf’s hand come to rest on his arm surprised him, but he didn’t pull away from the touch. “Arwen? Thank you.”

 

Arwen gave him a stunning smile. She watched them leave and then turned toward the walls, letting her imagination run wild with dolphins, waves and seagulls. She was determined to do her best to make this work.

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

Erestor waited until they had reached the privacy of Elrond’s study before addressing ‘it’. His stomach was tense, his throat dry and he was turning himself inside out, trying to find the courage to discuss this. “Elrond? I…” Erestor moistened his lips, looked away and fumbled the fabric of his sleeve. He stood in front of the window, wondering how there could be such lovely weather when he felt so depressed.

 

Moving closer to Erestor, Elrond came to a halt in front of the pregnant Elf. Erestor’s face was an open book to him; he knew exactly what the other Elf was struggling with. “Yes?”

 

“A-about… l-ast-t night-t… About-t… that-t ki…kiss.” Erestor wrung his hands, turning slightly away from Elrond. “It-twas-s… the mi.. ruvor-r,” he stuttered nervously.

 

Elrond’s heart thundered, seeing the emotional turmoil Erestor was in. He wanted to reach out and fold his arms around the nervous Elf, but he kept himself back. This was not the time for that… yet.

 

“I know… I w-was taking-g… liberties-s… I would never do that… normally.” Erestor swallowed hard, wishing Elrond would say something. /Yell at me, call me a fool, I do not care what you say, but say something!/ The tension became too much and he finally met the half-Elf’s stormy eyes. He was surprised to find a smile on Elrond’s face and a warm expression in the grayish-blue orbs. Elrond didn’t seem cross with him at all. Why was that?

 

Elrond carefully considered his reply before addressing Erestor, who obviously felt intimidated. “Did you want to kiss me or was it just the miruvor?”

 

Still wringing his hands, Erestor tried to look away but, unexpectedly, Elrond cupped his chin in the palm of his hand, forcing him to maintain eye contact.

 

“Well, did you want to kiss me? And please answer truthfully. I won’t be cross with you, no matter what you say.” Elrond hoped Erestor trusted him enough to be sincere.

 

Erestor felt inwardly torn. What was he supposed to say?

 

“The truth, Erestor, please.” Elrond gave Erestor a pleading look, hoping to convince the pregnant Elf to put his trust in him.

 

Erestor stopped fighting Elrond, lacking the strength to keep up pretense. “Aye, I did.” As Elrond was still keeping him in place, making it impossible for him to turn away, he closed his eyes instead. He just didn’t want to see the contempt in the half-Elf’s eyes at hearing his answer.

 

“Good, for I enjoyed being kissed by you.” Elrond carefully observed Erestor and smiled warmly when the large, dark eyes opened to stare questioningly at him.

 

“You did?” Disbelief echoed in Erestor’s voice.

 

“I did.” To prove his words, he tenderly caressed Erestor’s face. “So do not feel upset about the kiss. There is no reason to.”

 

Erestor swallowed nervously. Elrond had enjoyed the kiss? He had great trouble accepting that.

 

Realizing that Erestor’s emotional turmoil remained, Elrond deemed a change in subject necessary to reassure the pregnant Elf. Guiding Erestor to his desk, he helped him sit down. “Did you finish making those entries yesterday?”

 

Jolted back to reality, Erestor shook his head. “There were too many.”

 

“Would you continue working on them whilst I work my way through today’s correspondence?”

 

“Of course.” His skin still tingled, still feeling an echo of Elrond’s fingertips caressing his skin. /He liked being kissed by me./ Feeling relieved and somewhat giddy, Erestor focused on his task, determined to make those entries in his best handwriting.

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

They had continued to work longer than usual and when they walked into the gardens, Arien was already setting. Erestor was stunned when Elrond’s hand reached for his. Demurely, he allowed Elrond to hold his hand, wondering why the half-Elf was doing that.

 

“Ada! Ada!”

 

Arwen’s excited cries quickly reached them and the she-Elf came to a stand still in front of them, panting slightly from running. “Ada, Elladan and Elrohir are here! They arrived with Haldir and Glorfindel! Apparently they were on their way back when they happened upon the patrol.”

 

Was it just his imagination or did Elrond’s eyes darken subtly? Erestor wasn’t sure, but felt Elrond tense next to him.

 

“That is good news indeed,” said Elrond calmly.

 

“They went to their quarters to freshen up, but they will join us for dinner,” said Arwen excitedly.

 

“Did they mention how long they would stay?” Elrond gave his daughter a thoughtful look.

 

“Nay, they did not.” Arwen’s enthusiasm suddenly evaporated. “They looked… angry, Ada.”

 

“They have not yet accepted their mother’s departure,” said Elrond, sighing. “They need more time to deal with the loss.”

 

“Because they blame themselves,” said Arwen in a melancholy tone. Realizing Erestor was staring questioningly at her, she explained, “They were on their way to meet our mother when the Orcs attacked and now blame themselves for coming too late to her aid.”

 

Erestor didn’t know what to say and stayed silent instead. He hoped dinner would go smoothly, but somehow he doubted it.

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

Erestor felt out of place, seated to Elrond’s right. Arwen had moved from the half-Elf’s left and now sat next to Erestor. He should feel safe, wedged in between them, but he didn’t. He worried about the twins’ reaction to seeing him seated next to their father. What conclusion would they reach?

Elrond sensed Erestor’s discomfort and soothingly rested his hand on the pregnant Elf’s, trying to reassure him that everything would be fine.

 

There was sudden commotion near the doorway and Erestor strained to see what it was about. He was promptly punished with a painful spasm in his lower back. “Ouch…” He grimaced at the pain.

 

Elrond, concerned, immediately inquired, “What is it?”

 

“Spasm… my back…” panted Erestor softly. He managed to raise his head and caught sight of two figures, dressed in dark colors with identical features. /The twins./ Suddenly he was shaken from his apprehension, feeling Elrond’s hand massaging his lower back to counteract the spasms. As the twins approached, goose flesh formed over his entire body.

 

It was the eyes. They were filled with potent, deadly rage, and they were aimed at him.

 

 

Heart in Chains

Part 29

 

 

Elrond knew there would be trouble the moment his sons realized he was rubbing Erestor’s back, but he refused to give in and stop touching the pregnant Elf in order to humor them. “Elladan, Elrohir, welcome home.”

 

Elrohir’s gray eyes flared with hatred when they settled on the hand that was comforting the Elf who was sitting on his mother’s chair. “Adar, she only left eight months ago and you already replaced her with *this*?”

 

Erestor flinched next to him and Elrond rose from his chair, reaching his full, majestic height as he glowered at them. He had expected a violent reaction from them, but this surprised even him. He knew that they blamed him for letting Celebrian leave for Valinor. He had tried explaining to them why Celebrian had reached that decision, but they hadn’t listened, consumed with anger and self-loathing. And seeing Erestor at his side, where Celebrian used to sit, had triggered this response in them. “Erestor is our honored guest, Elrohir, and not to be addressed by you in such a manner.” Elrond realized too late that his remark would fuel their anger, but it was too late to change tactics now. “Your seats are still free, next to Arwen and Glorfindel, where you always sit.”

 

Elladan’s eyes had narrowed, realizing something about the Elf at their father’s side. “He is pregnant?”

 

Erestor cringed at the tone. He wanted to leave the Hall and curl up in his bed, pull the sheet over him and hide from the world. Fingers suddenly curled around his and he was surprised to find Arwen rubbing his knuckles. He gave her a thankful look and then sought out Haldir’s eyes, silently begging him for support.

 

Haldir glared at the twins and it was only Glorfindel’s hold on him that kept him back. His husband had wrapped an arm around his waist to keep him in place, but he was considering freeing himself of the hold to come to Erestor’s defense. Unexpectedly, Glorfindel whispered into his ear.

 

“Do not intervene, Haldir. This is something Elrond must do.” Glorfindel didn’t like the predatory look in the twins’ eyes either, but had learned a long time ago to let Elrond handle them.

 

“You replaced Nana with *that*?” Elladan glared at his father. “Eight months, Adar. She left only eight months ago.”

 

Erestor let his long hair fall in front of his face, grateful that Glorfindel hadn’t braided it tonight. He had hoped his first encounter with the twins would have gone differently. He had only looked at them for a few seconds, but instinctively knew that his own sons would have born a great resemblance to them. That knowledge made the spiteful words even more hurtful. “I want to leave,” he whispered to Arwen.

 

She shook her head and rose from the chair, but she never let go of his hand when she addressed her brothers. “You are embarrassing us and doing our hospitality discredit. If you cannot behave properly, I suggest you leave.”

 

“Arwen!” Elrohir stared at his sister in disbelief. “How can you accept this?”

 

“Erestor is a guest. Our grandfather entrusted him to father’s care and you are being disrespectful in this ancient Hall.”

 

“Our grandfather?” The twins exchanged a look.

 

“Aye, our grandfather!” Arwen glared at them. “Is it so hard for you to understand that your thoughtless words are hurting Erestor? He is eight months pregnant and does not deserve them.”

 

“Either behave or leave,” growled Elrond dangerously.

 

“We will leave,” said Elrohir in a bitter tone. “We came here to be reunited with our family, but now we find a stranger on Nana’s chair and at your side. We do not condone this.”

 

“It is not your place to ‘condone’ this,” hissed Elrond. “I do not know why you are acting in this way, but I strongly suggest you leave!” He was trembling with rage. He knew that his sons had inherited their bad temper from him, but he demanded their respect nonetheless.

 

“Eight months you say…” Elladan’s voice took on an alarmingly nasty tone. “Did you not visit Lothlorien eight months ago, Adar? Are you keeping secrets from us?”

 

Three Elves froze. Haldir and Glorfindel exchanged alarmed looks, and Erestor tried to push himself deeper into the comfort of his chair, wishing the floor would open and swallow him. If only Elladan knew how right he was!

 

Elrond was enraged by their insolence. “How do you dare speak to me in that way?” He shook with anger and his eyes burned with a dark fire. “You will leave now.” Those last words were said in a venomous tone. He would deal with them later, once Erestor was no longer present. He knew it was pain that was making them lash out in this way, but he couldn’t allow it. Not when their actions were hurting Erestor.

 

Elladan and Elrohir turned their backs to their father and marched out of the Hall of Fire, which had grown absolutely quiet.

 

Arwen seated herself again, still maintaining her hold on Erestor’s hand. “They were out of line, Erestor.”

 

But her words offered Erestor no comfort. Instead, he looked to Haldir. “Would you please take me away from here?” He wanted to hide.

 

Arwen cleared her throat. “Uhm, there might be a problem with that. Their rooms are next to yours.”

 

Erestor yelped softly, tears building in his eyes. He just couldn’t deal with this right now and his emotions darkened. “I want to lie down…” Again, he looked at Haldir for help, not Elrond. He couldn’t help it; he felt safe with Haldir.

 

Elrond, still raging inwardly, noticed Erestor’s distress. “We will find suitable quarters for you tonight.” His first reaction had been to offer Erestor to stay with him, but knew that would only make things worse if his sons learned that Erestor would be spending the night in his rooms.

 

Haldir briefly broke eye contact with Erestor to look at Glorfindel. “He can stay with us. Your bed is big enough for the three of us.” He knew from personal experience that Erestor needed someone close whom he trusted unconditionally.

 

Glorfindel nodded. “We will manage.”

 

“Can we leave now?” asked Erestor in a tiny voice. “I am not hungry any more and I do not think I can hold anything down.” He couldn’t sit at Elrond’s side any longer, not after the things Elladan had said. He struggled to his feet, eager to leave. He tried hard to ignore the multitude of eyes he felt on him. It was still deathly silent in the Hall. Everyone seemed to be holding their breath.

 

Elrond forced himself to appear calm and controlled. “Aye, that might be the best solution. Take good care of him for me,” he said, addressing Glorfindel, putting his trust in his Captain. “And I will deal with my sons!”

 

“Do not be too hard on them,” said Glorfindel, who was rising from his chair to join Haldir, who had wrapped an arm around Erestor to steady him. “We know why they are acting in this way. Their anger is not aimed at Erestor.”

 

Elrond sighed, nodding his head. “They feel guilty for what happened to Celebrian. I will try to get through to them and make them understand what it is they are feeling.”

 

“I wish you good luck and much patience,” said Glorfindel, following Erestor and Haldir, who were heading for the corridor. Even from this distance, he saw that the dark-haired Elf’s shoulders were shaking with sobs. The twins’ words had been hurtful, and the fact that Erestor was already emotional due to his pregnancy only made things worse.

 

Erestor leaned heavily against Haldir, needing him close. “Why are they so cruel?”

 

“They are hurting, lirimaer, they lost their mother.” Haldir rubbed soothing circles on Erestor’s back. “Do not take their words to heart. Once they realize how inappropriately they acted they will regret saying those things.”

 

They walked in silence and when they reached Glorfindel’s quarters, the Elda opened the door for them. “Take him to the bed,” whispered the blond.

 

Haldir assisted Erestor in sitting down on the bed and began to remove the outer robes. He left the undershirt in place and then removed Erestor’s shoes. Once Erestor was clad in only his undershirt, Haldir eased Erestor down onto his back. After all, the pregnant Elf had said he wanted to lie down. “Comfortable?”

 

“W-would… would you h-hold me?” Erestor looked at Haldir hopefully.

 

The silver-haired Elf looked at Glorfindel. It was still early in the evening, much too early to go to sleep, but if Erestor needed this… He arched an eyebrow, seeing Glorfindel remove his clothes. He thanked the Valar, finding the blond was leaving his leggings on. He doubted Erestor would react well to finding a naked Balrog Slayer snuggling up to him.

 

“We will join you,” announced Glorfindel, lying down opposite Erestor so they were face to face. Seeing tears flow down Erestor’s face, he wished he had known beforehand that the twins would act in a hateful and volatile manner; then he could have taken counter measures. Experimentally, he rested a hand on Erestor’s hip.

 

Erestor’s eyes widened at that touch, but he didn’t move away from it. The fact that Glorfindel was this concerned amazed him.

 

Haldir moved into place behind Erestor and pulled him to his chest. “Comfortable?”

 

“Do you have a small pillow? To…” Erestor didn’t have to finish his sentence, as Glorfindel pushed a small pillow beneath his abdomen to support the weight. “Aye, I am comfortable.” But he was still haunted by the violent expression in the twins’ eyes and their hurtful words still echoed in his ears.

 

Glorfindel gave his husband a questioning look when Haldir started to sing a soothing lullaby. Maybe it was something Haldir had found that comforted Erestor? And aye, the dark eyes already began to fill with reverie.

 

Haldir continued his song for a few more minutes and then stopped in order to address Glorfindel. “We need to stay close tonight.”

 

“We will,” vowed Glorfindel.

 

“He has never said anything, but… I know he must have wondered what his sons would have looked like, had they reached adulthood. They would have been as dark-haired as their fathers and either brown or gray eyed.”

 

“You just described Elladan and Elrohir,” whispered Glorfindel in understanding. “Hearing *them* say those things must have hurt him deeply.”

 

“And they were right,” said Haldir calmly. “Elrond did father this child eight months ago. Let us pray to the Valar they do not believe the accusation they uttered.”

 

“And Elrond has no idea he is going to be a father again.”

 

“We cannot force Erestor to tell Elrond,” said Haldir thoughtfully. “All we can do is aid Elrond in gaining Erestor’s trust, for the half-Elf already has Erestor’s love.”

 

Glorfindel’s hand moved upwards until he was stroking the raven mane. “Let us hope Elrond realizes that. Love is a powerful emotion. Many things can happen once they reveal their love for each other.”

 

“That will be our task,” said Haldir determinedly. “We will guide their actions and hopefully they will open up to each other.” In the meantime, they would guard Erestor’s sleep.

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

“Your words were utterly unforgivable,” raved Elrond, as he paced back and forth before his sons, who were standing in a tense and aggressive posture. He had ordered them to his study and was now staring at them. The wrath in their eyes took even him aback. “Why did you do that?”

 

Elrohir glowered at his father. “Nana only left eight months ago and you have already replaced her.”

 

“Is it because I allowed him to sit at my side?” Elrond shook his head in disbelief. “Your grandfather asked me to make sure Erestor fared well and… and why am I explaining my actions to you?” Gathering his robes close to him, he headed for his desk and sat down behind it. “You need to apologize to him.”

 

“We will - NOT - do that,” said Elladan firmly. Elrohir nodded his approval. “We won’t.”

 

Elrond sighed deeply. “Elladan, Elrohir, Erestor has nothing to do with what happened to your mother.”

 

Elrohir’s eyes darkened with anger. “It is easy for you to say that, as you have already forgotten about her!”

 

“I will never forget her!” Elrond jumped to his feet, knocking his chair over backwards in the process and placed his hands on the desk, leaning in closer to his sons. “I nearly faded when she left!”

 

“But you didn’t, did you?” Elladan’s fingernails clawed into his own palms as he clenched his fists tighter. “When did you bed him? When you were in Lothlorien?”

 

Elrond’s jaw nearly hit the floor. “I never bedded Erestor! I never saw him until the day he arrived!”

 

The twins exchanged a look. “Are you saying the child isn’t yours?”

 

“Do you really think I would take a lover so soon after losing my wife?” But shivers traveled down his spine, knowing he was lying to them. His mysterious savior had come to him on two occasions and he had bedded him. But he couldn’t really tell his sons, could he? “You do not have to accept him, but you do have to respect him. He is a guest in this house.”

 

“We won’t stay,” said Elladan unexpectedly, locking gazes with his twin. “Too much has changed here. Even our sister came to his defense.”

 

“Because she allowed herself to get to know him,” explained Elrond, finally getting a hold on his temper. “And in your hearts you know that this has nothing to do with Erestor. You are cross with me for being unable to convince your mother to stay and on an even deeper level you are angry with yourselves for—“

 

“We do not have to listen to this,” hissed Elladan, his posture becoming even more stiff and hostile. Elrohir followed suit, a similar distraught expression on his face as Elladan’s. They weren’t ready yet to face their real feelings and it was easier to blame others. “We will be gone in the morning. Do not expect us to return for the next few years.”

 

“But where will you go?” Elrond, worried, looked pleadingly at them. “The roads are dangerous and one day you will run into a pack of Orcs too strong for you to take out and—“

 

“No Orc will ever take us out, Adar,” Elrohir sneered angrily. “We will take out as many of them as possible, whilst you hide here in Imladris, entertaining yourself with preg—“

 

“That is enough!” Elrond roared. He had tried to hold onto his temper, but he couldn’t tolerate this kind of behavior. Calming himself as much as he could, he continued, “You are obviously not yet ready to discuss this.” This conversation was bound to be fruitless. “My heart aches, knowing you choose to run away from your feelings instead of facing them, but I cannot help you as long as you keep fighting me.” Elrond saw their disgust in the burning eyes and realized they needed more time to come to terms with their mother’s departure. /They feel deserted, abandoned. Their real anger lies with themselves, and with Celebrian for making the decision she did. But they cannot yet admit that to themselves./

 

Elladan and Elrohir had spun on their heels and were already moving toward the doorway. Their posture had not changed and their movements were stiff and jerky, further revealing the anger that was consuming them.

 

Elrond let them go, hoping the time would come that they were willing to examine their feelings and find the courage to move on.

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

Glorfindel and Haldir woke simultaneously at hearing approaching footfalls. The door opened and both warriors readied themselves to defend Erestor, should that be necessary. They both relaxed however, seeing Elrond enter. The half-Elf looked emotionally drained and the irises of his eyes had darkened to black.

 

“I gather your talk with the twins did not go well?” Glorfindel whispered in order not to wake Erestor, who was sound asleep in between them.

 

“You are correct,” whispered Elrond. His dark mood began to lift, seeing Erestor this relaxed and at peace. “I hope sleeping like that is comfortable for you.”

 

Glorfindel smiled. “More than comfortable. You should try it sometime.” He wriggled an eyebrow suggestively. “Erestor makes a great pillow.”

 

Elrond found the idea surprisingly tempting and smiled at his friend. “How does he fare? How upset was he?”

 

“He was rather distressed,” replied Haldir in a soft tone. “Their remarks hurt him.”

 

Elrond nodded. “I should apologize in their place.”

 

“They refused to offer Erestor their apologies?” said Glorfindel knowingly. The twins had always been too stubborn for their own good.

 

“Aye.” Elrond looked at Erestor, wishing it were he holding the dark-haired Elf and not Haldir. “They will leave in the morning, so it would be best if you kept Erestor here until then. In the morning, escort him to his new rooms so he can change his robes and freshen up. I will look after him for the rest of the day.”

 

“It will be done,” said Glorfindel, gently stroking the long, dark hair. His fingers suddenly met Haldir’s and they entwined. “I just pray the twins will realize they are aiming their anger at the wrong person.”

 

“It will take much time,” said Elrond thoughtfully. “They are wrestling with survivor’s guilt.”

 

Haldir rubbed Glorfindel’s fingers, hoping the twins would quickly come to their senses and stop hurting Erestor with words, for they had no idea what impact those spiteful remarks had on the pregnant Elf.

 

Elrond inclined his head in goodbye and then left reluctantly, wishing he could have kept Erestor company throughout the night, but Haldir and Glorfindel were already guarding his sleep. /Maybe I will find other ways to make this up to Erestor./

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

“Hum, you are soft…”

 

Erestor blinked, hearing those words. Where they meant for him or…? Once he had regained full awareness, he realized they had been meant for Glorfindel. He blushed fiercely, finding the two warriors were kissing passionately just above his face. “Uhm?” Erestor cleared his throat, drawing their attention so they knew he was awake. But that didn’t cause them to break off the kiss. Instead, Glorfindel took his time to give his husband a good morning kiss.

 

Haldir’s eyes sparkled with mirth, hearing Erestor’s soft whimper. The moment Glorfindel released his lips, he said, “You promised to behave, Glorfindel.”

 

Glorfindel pretended ignorance. “Is kissing my husband misbehaving?”

 

”It is with me in between the two of you,” mumbled Erestor, hoping they didn’t mind being made fun off. “And there is an unborn baby present as well.”

 

Glorfindel groaned. “I want to kiss my husband!” But his eyes revealed his pleasure at finding Erestor felt comfortable enough to join in their bantering.

 

“We can kiss later. We are supposed to escort Erestor to his rooms so he can freshen up, help him change into clean robes and make sure he eats his breakfast,” said Haldir.

 

Erestor’s stomach growled as if it had heard those words and left him with a blush on his face. He sighed, knowing what would follow next, and his daughter didn’t disappoint him, kicking him hard.

 

Glorfindel saw the odd expression in Erestor’s eyes and asked, “What is amiss?”

 

“She is kicking me.” Erestor sighed deeply. Glorfindel’s next question took him completely aback.

 

“May I… may I feel…?” Glorfindel gave the dark-haired Elf his most pleading look.

 

The request surprised him, but Erestor complied nonetheless. Taking Glorfindel’s right hand, he placed it on his abdomen, grateful he was still wearing a nightshirt. He didn’t want the Balrog Slayer to see how huge he was becoming and he did feel a bit embarrassed for being pregnant in the first place.

 

The baby kicked again, and Glorfindel’s eyes widened with pleasure. “Haldir, you have to feel this too!”

 

Erestor nodded at Haldir and the March Warden placed a hand on his abdomen as well. He laughed warmly, feeling another fierce kick. “Your daughter will make quite an excellent warrior, lirimaer.”

 

“She must have inherited that from Elrond,” said Erestor rather thoughtfully. “I am not a warrior…” A melancholy expression appeared in his eyes.

 

“But you are.” Haldir gave him a firm look. “You are still fighting your battles and don’t you dare ever give up.”

 

Erestor gave Haldir a grateful look. It was beyond him why the March Warden continued to have faith in him.

 

“And now it is time to leave our warm nest,” announced Glorfindel, who regretted breaking this up. “But I am sure you would like a bath, Erestor.”

 

“I do, but—“

 

“Not alone!” Haldir shook his head. “He is getting heavier and the last time he nearly slipped. I will assist him.”

 

Glorfindel sat up and watched the two of them. Haldir had a protective hold on Erestor and for the first time, he fully understood his husband’s feelings where the pregnant Elf was concerned, for he now shared them too.

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

Elrond sat behind his desk, his chin resting in the palm of his hand. He had watched his sons leave this morning. Their weapons and cloaks had still carried the stains of dark Orc blood. They hadn’t looked over their shoulders to wave him goodbye and had left with a grim determination that caused his heart to bleed. They could slay as many Orcs as they wanted to, but it wouldn’t ease the pain in their hearts; they just didn’t realize that yet.

 

He had sent his assistant away early, realizing he couldn’t concentrate on the pile of work in front of him. Maybe once Erestor joined him, he could… /Aiya, Erestor, their words really hurt you. How can I help heal the hurt they caused?/ A knock on his door forced him to concentrate on the present. “Enter.”

 

Erestor gingerly shuffled inside. He had changed into a simple, dark robe and his hair was loose again. Gone was the smile that had graced Erestor’s features these last two days and he seemed subdued and hesitant. Elrond cringed, realizing his sons had undone the little progress Erestor had made.

 

“My Lord? Should I finish writing down the recipes for the healing potions?”

 

Elrond cringed, being addressed with ‘My Lord’. Erestor hadn’t done that since the first time they had met. “Erestor, please, they did not know what they were saying!” Refusing to give in so easily, he left his seat, and came to a standstill in front of the pregnant Elf. Erestor was staring at the floor and his hair blocked Elrond’s view of his face. “Please, we were beginning to build a friendship. Do not throw that away because their pain made them lash out in that manner. They are angry with themselves, not you.” Elrond knew he was risking it all when he cupped Erestor’s cheek in the palm of his hands, forcing the other Elf to lift his head and look at him. The pain and misery that stared back at him made his heart grow heavy. “Please have faith in me, my dear friend.”

 

Erestor was inwardly torn. He wanted to trust Elrond, but… “I do not want to cause any problems within your family. It is obvious that they do not want me here and… I should not sit at your side any longer. I never realized—“

 

“Nay!” Elrond firmly shook his head. “You are my guest and you are becoming a good friend… even more than that. I refuse to sacrifice that because my sons won’t face their feelings.”

 

“But they are your sons. How can you possibly choose me over them?” Erestor wrung his hands and gave Elrond a pleading look. “We should abandon our friendship.” He had lost his twins whilst they had still been growing inside him and he didn’t want Elrond to lose his sons because of a disagreement. “Blood is thicker than water. Your family comes first.”

 

“Not in this case,” whispered Elrond softly. “They are always welcome here and I won’t ever turn them away, but I won’t sacrifice my personal happiness for them.” Slowly, testing the waters, Elrond leaned in closer and pressed his lips gently against Erestor’s.

 

 

Heart in Chains

Part 30

 

 

Warning; Haldir decided to play games with Glorfindel, so slight bondage ahead…

 

 

Erestor had difficulty believing Elrond was really kissing him. He had come here with every intention of letting their budding relationship die, and now the half-Elf was doing this! And the worst thing was, he was responding! For so many millennia he had waited for this, had hoped Elrond would take the initiative, and now… “Ah…” The soft, pleased sound escaped him when the half-Elf’s tongue pushed against his lips, asking for entry, and he allowed it -- greedily. Now that Elrond had conquered that territory, his tongue began to tease its way past his teeth as well, and suddenly the warm and moist tongue was wrapping itself around his. He was weak in the knees and swayed. Thankfully Elrond had anticipated his reaction and folded a supportive arm around his waist. Elrond’s fingers caressed his face and the sensations were quickly overwhelming him.

 

Elrond was thrilled when Erestor responded so eagerly to his kiss, for it told him the pregnant Elf did want this. /And I won’t allow him to sacrifice his feelings for me because my sons are acting in such an unbecoming manner./ Elrond ran his fingers through Erestor’s long, dark hair and regretted having to break off the kiss, but they were both breathless by now.

 

Staring into Elrond’s stormy eyes, Erestor panted softly. “I need to sit down.”

 

Elrond guided him to the chair opposite his desk, where Erestor had sat working these last few days and helped him to sit down. Leaning against the desk, he searched Erestor’s chocolate brown eyes. “I gather I took you by surprise by kissing you.”

 

“You did,” said Erestor, shakily nodding his head. “I did not expect this.”

 

Elrond moistened his lips. “We both want this, and although I know that you are in a precarious condition due to your pregnancy, I do not want to give up on this blossoming relationship without a fight. We will take this slowly until after your daughter has been born and then we will explore our feelings further.”

 

Erestor smiled thankfully. “I would prefer that as well, but… We can continue to kiss, can’t we?”

 

“Of course!” To prove his point, Elrond leaned in closer and placed a sweet kiss on Erestor’s slightly bruised lips. “But would you now kindly help me so that we can take a walk later? There are only a few more recipes left for you to copy and then I might have a new task for you; that is, if you are not too tired.”

 

“I like doing things for you,” mumbled Erestor shyly. “And it keeps me distracted.”

 

“From what?” Elrond frowned, puzzled.

 

“A lot of things.” Erestor gave Elrond a pleading look. “Can I start copying the recipes now?” He hoped that the half-Elf understood and wouldn’t question him further.

 

Elrond did understand and placed the book in front of Erestor, handing him the last recipes that needed to be copied. Sitting down behind his desk, he told himself to remain calm, knowing Erestor still wanted him. They could work out possible problems – like his sons – later.

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

After their walk they returned to the Last Homely House. Elrond had kept a protective arm around Erestor during their stroll, needing to know him safe and close. He could tell that Erestor had gained several pounds since his arrival in Imladris, for which he felt thankful. Erestor had been too skinny when he had arrived. “Arwen told me the nursery should be ready in one month.” Arwen had told her father that she wanted the nursery to be cozy and had arranged for the best artists to paint the walls and ceiling. Carpenters were making the crib and other, additional furniture was being designed as well.

 

“She actually shooed me out of my rooms this morning.” Erestor chuckled softly; he had seldom felt this much at peace. For one moment he gave in to his desires and imaged everything was right in his world.

 

“You must tell me if she gets carried away. She is like that, I am afraid… She inherited that character trait from me.”

 

Erestor smiled adoringly at the half-Elf, relishing the gentle touch to his face when Elrond caressed his cheek.

 

“Haldir and Glorfindel will return from their patrol in time for dinner. Would you like to dine in the Hall of Fire tonight?”

 

Erestor nodded. “I have missed those two. Especially Haldir.” For one moment he wished he could tell Elrond his secrets, but how would Galadriel react? He simply couldn’t take that risk. Allowing Elrond to guide him back to his rooms, he wished there was a way to ensure his daughter’s safety, should he ever decide to tell the half-Elf the truth.

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

“Lord Glorfindel?” Lindir smiled, entering the Elda’s rooms. He could hear water splashing in the bathroom, but the Balrog Slayer was sitting on his bed, already dressed for dinner. It was a well-known fact that Haldir and Glorfindel were sharing quarters and Lindir reckoned the relationship went a lot deeper than he knew.

 

“Aye?” Glorfindel rose from the bed, rearranging his robes. He preferred a shirt and leggings, but Elrond insisted on robes for dinner.

 

“Erestor would like a word with you and asks if you could possibly visit with him in his rooms. He is rather tired, you see.”

 

“I will go to him,” said Glorfindel at once, realizing Erestor would never contact him if it weren’t important.

 

Lindir left and so did Glorfindel. He had been pleasantly surprised to hear that Erestor had been moved to the quarters next to Elrond’s. It meant the pregnant Elf was becoming a part of this family, for which he felt grateful. Knocking on the door to Erestor’s rooms, he patiently waited for the dark-haired Elf to answer him.

 

“Yes?”

 

“It is I, Glorfindel.”

 

“Please come inside, Glorfindel.”

 

The blond opened the door. At one time, Elrond had offered him these rooms, but he had declined. He had been the childrens’ tutor for centuries and had wanted some privacy during his time off. He smiled warmly, finding Erestor seated in a comfortable chair next to the fireplace. “You wanted to talk to me?” He frowned, seeing the pallor on the other Elf’s face. “Did something go amiss today?”

 

Erestor shook his head, moistened his lips and signaled for Glorfindel to take the seat opposite him, which the Elda did. “I have a favor to ask of you.”

Glorfindel arched an eyebrow. Erestor usually was so timid that this request alerted him. “I pledged my sword to you.”

 

Erestor nervously licked his lips. “I know that… but I need something else from you.”

 

“Ask me,” Glorfindel nodded once.

 

“I need a promise…” Erestor lowered his eyes and stared at the floor.

 

“What sort of promise?” Cocking his head, Glorfindel tried to appear patient, knowing Erestor was easily intimidated.

 

Erestor pushed himself to his feet, finding he couldn’t do this when looking at Glorfindel. Slowly pacing the bedroom, he tried to ignore the fact that his daughter was moving about and kicking him. “There is a very real possibility that I will die in childbirth.”

 

Glorfindel sucked in his breath, not having anticipated this subject. “But Elrond is an excellent healer and—“ Erestor raised a hand in a surprisingly authoritative manner, and Glorfindel bit his bottom lip, holding his tongue.

 

“The problem is the surgery itself, Glorfindel, not Elrond’s healing skills. I studied a number of cases of male pregnancy in which either the baby or the Elf died. I told Elrond to put the baby’s needs first at all costs.”

 

“But Erestor--”

 

“Nay, this is the way it should be. This little one deserves to live.” Erestor drew in a deep breath. “I have lived too long as it is. I should have died with my sons, but Haldir pulled me back.”

 

Glorfindel’s eyes had darkened to midnight blue and he was doing his best to hold back the tears threatening to build in them.

 

“I was thinking that my daughter deserves at least one parent to love her, should I die.” Erestor had been looking out of the window, but now turned around to meet Glorfindel’s piercing gaze. “And Elrond in turn deserves to know she is his daughter.”

 

“I told you that from the beginning,” said Glorfindel. Unable to stay seated, he rose and came to a stand still in front of the pregnant Elf. “Will you tell Elrond?”

 

“No, *you* will.” At seeing Glorfindel’s approval, Erestor quickly added, “But only if I die in childbirth.”

 

Glorfindel’s eyes narrowed. “No!”

 

“Only if I die!” Erestor held Glorfindel’s gaze firmly, surprising himself by ordering Glorfindel in this way. “You will only tell him if I die. If I survive, there is no need for Elrond to know. She will grow up here in Imladris and Elrond will come to love her without knowing her true identity.”

 

Glorfindel shook his head. “This is wrong!”

 

“I know it is, but I do not know how Galadriel will react should I tell Elrond. When I am dead and my daughter is in Elrond’s safe keeping, her hands will be bound.” Erestor’s expression changed to pleading. “You must understand, Glorfindel, I cannot take any risks. My daughter’s life is at stake.”

 

“I still do not agree with your decision, but I will honor it.” Glorfindel raised his right hand and placed it on Erestor’s shoulder, in what was hopefully a soothing gesture. “I will keep my word and I hope you will live so that you can hold your daughter in your arms.”

 

“So do I,” mumbled Erestor sincerely. “Thank you.”

 

Glorfindel wished there was more he could do for Erestor than making a mere promise, but his hands were tied.

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

After dinner, Haldir pulled his husband aside in the corridor. Glorfindel had been gloomy all evening and the Elda’s dark mood was beginning to worry him. “What is amiss? Tell me.”

 

Glorfindel lifted saddened eyes to Haldir’s and told his mate what he had promised Erestor.

 

“That is typically Erestor,” said Haldir, grimacing, after learning about the promise Glorfindel had made. “I can understand why he fears Galadriel, but…”

 

“There is so little we can do! ‘Tis frustrating!” Glorfindel banged a fist against the wall, hissing in pain when the wall proved harder than his knuckles.

 

Haldir carefully gathered the abused limb in his hands and probed Glorfindel’s burning eyes, correctly reading the need in them “Come with me, I know what you need.”

 

Glorfindel stared at Haldir for a moment, wondering what his husband was up to, but then decided to put his trust in him. Following Haldir, they headed to the armory, where Haldir selected a sword and shield for each of them. The silver-haired Elf then led him to the training grounds, handing Glorfindel a sword and shield.

 

“Defend yourself!” Haldir raised his sword and attacked, hoping that a sparring match would help Glorfindel let go of some of his frustrations.

 

Understanding his husband’s intentions, Glorfindel attacked, releasing his frustrations, and trusting in Haldir’s considerable skill to block him and make sure neither of them received any injuries.

 

The fight continued for nearly an hour before Glorfindel collapsed onto his knees, panting hard and flinging sword and shield away from him. “Why… does it have… to be this way?” Panting, he met Haldir’s knowing eyes.

 

The march warden placed aside his weapons, knelt in front of Glorfindel and wrapped his arms around him. “Life is not fair, hervenn-nîn.”

 

“But… he has already lost two sons!” Still angry with Galadriel for treating Erestor in this way, Glorfindel glowered at his husband. Physically he was exhausted and tired, but mentally he still raged.

 

Haldir gathered Glorfindel’s hands in his and carefully pulled the Elda to his feet. “There is still much anger in you… Will you trust yourself to me?”

 

Glorfindel stared at Haldir in wonder, but once more, he trusted his husband and followed the march warden when the silver-haired Elf led him back to his rooms.

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

Glorfindel’s fingers absentmindedly caressed Haldir’s silken skin, finally beginning to understand his husband’s intentions. Haldir had removed both of their clothing and was now laying him down on the bed, covering him with his body and kissing him passionately.

 

“Let me guide you, my love,” whispered Haldir, “You need to let go and I can help.”

 

Glorfindel lazily looked at the silver-haired Elf, who was now moving against him, rubbing his erection against his. “What do you want to do to me?”

 

“I want to claim you, Glorfindel,” said Haldir softly. “You need to let go…”

 

Swallowing hard, Glorfindel said, “I am not sure I can do that. I have never yielded before.”

 

Haldir’s eyes burned with passion. “Claiming you and making you understand that this is not about yielding is my greatest desire. Please allow me to do this.” He reached for the silken ribbons which he now removed from Glorfindel’s golden tresses and slowly wrapped one of them around the Elda’s left wrist. “I will tie them loosely so that you can pull free if you so desire.”

 

Glorfindel suddenly fully understood and his eyes widened. “You want to tie me to the bed?”

 

“You need to learn to let go and that you can trust me. You said that you would never yield and I believe you. But this is different. This is about me wanting to give you something. You do not have to yield to me, just enjoy it, but you won’t let yourself do that so I am making it easier for you.” Haldir bound first one wrist and then the other to the bed posts.

 

Glorfindel wasn’t sure how to react to this unexpected development. Was he really allowing Haldir to tie him down? Why? Searching Haldir’s eyes, he found love and the desire to please in them and he forced himself to let go of the breath that he had been holding. “I am not sure I can do this.”

 

“Then let us find out,” whispered Haldir seductively. Nuzzling the soft skin of Glorfindel’s neck, he licked it, swirling the tip of his tongue over the sensitive skin. The soft whimpers that unwillingly escaped Glorfindel made him smile sorrowfully. For how many millennia had Glorfindel been the strong one, never having the chance to let go for the briefest of moments? That would change now. He planned on being there for his mate in every possible way.

 

“Close your eyes for me,” whispered Haldir, hoping Glorfindel trusted him enough to do that. Briefly, an unreadable expression appeared in the azure eyes, but then they closed. “And now feel me. That is all you have to do. Feel.”

 

Glorfindel did something he had thought he would never do; he surrendered to Haldir when the exploring hands caressed his body. They stroked his flat abdomen, coaxed him into parting his legs and when the fingers curled around his hard flesh possessively, he hissed and arched his back. Haldir’s soft lips descended onto his and he was tempted to open his eyes, but as Haldir had asked him to close them, he stopped himself. Now that he couldn’t see, his other senses seemed intensified. Every touch bestowed to his body made his lust flare and he was soon panting softly, thrusting hard into Haldir’s hand. And then…

 

“Ai!” Something wet, moist and swirling touched the head of his erection and Glorfindel bucked hard, needing release. Release, which his mate still denied him. The moist tongue flickered against the head, drawing moans from him. “Haldir, please.” Had he really yielded that quickly after telling the march warden that he never would? What had caused this? Unexpectedly, that deliciously licking tongue withdrew and firm hands began to roll him onto his side and then onto his stomach. As the ribbons were tied loosely, he managed to shift his wrists within them, still making this a comfortable position.

 

“Lift your hips, melamin.”

 

Glorfindel briefly hesitated, knowing he would make himself extremely vulnerable in that way.

 

“You trust me, remember?”

 

Sighing, Glorfindel complied and a soft pillow was slipped beneath his groin, slightly lifting his buttocks. “What…?” The probing tongue returned, making it impossible for him to complete his question, but this time it targeted another area. He tensed, sensing the tip of Haldir’s tongue tease against the entrance to his body. “Haldir…”

 

“Please enjoy this.” Haldir parted the buttocks and targeted the guardian ring again. “I know this is your first time…”

 

Glorfindel’s stomach was growing tense due to nervousness, but then the soft tongue dipped into his body and… Glorfindel screamed out, grinded his groin into the pillow and felt like he was about to come that instant.

 

“Ah, I hit my target, then,” said Haldir wickedly.

 

Glorfindel twisted beneath Haldir when the possessive tongue returned, doing incredible things to him. He was quickly losing his mind *and* his reluctance to let Haldir do this. Before he knew it, he was pushing back. “Hal…dir…” His need to find release was overwhelming and his erection painful.

 

But Haldir wouldn’t be rushed and continued the probing, making Glorfindel squirm violently and pant hard. Realizing his husband was about to come, he pulled away and reached for the oil on the nightstand. Although he had adequately prepared Glorfindel for penetration, he took every possible precaution to ensure that the Elda would enjoy this. After rubbing the oil onto his erection, he positioned himself against the opening. Grabbing hold of Glorfindel’s hips, he slowly pushed inside, listening to his lover’s soft whimpers.

 

Glorfindel’s eyes widened at the invasion. Haldir was slowly sheathing himself and the sense of fullness that coursed through him surprised him. Haldir hadn’t seemed that big when they had been intimate before! Curling his fingers around the bed posts, he bit down onto his bottom lip. There wasn’t any pain, just a sense of fullness.

 

Haldir ran a hand over Glorfindel’s lower back and remained motionless now that he had buried himself in his lover’s body, wanting to give his mate a chance to adjust to the bulk inside him. “You are doing excellently,” he whispered reassuringly, knowing that manipulating Glorfindel’s pleasure gland as he had earlier had helped the blond to relax to the point where he could effortlessly take him.

 

Still panting, Glorfindel looked over his shoulder and his breath caught at the sight of his lover. Haldir’s hands now rested on his buttocks and were massaging the firm mounds. Kneeling behind him, the silver-haired Elf had thrown back his head, suckling his bottom lip. His hazel eyes were closed and Glorfindel wished they would open.

 

Feeling Glorfindel’s eyes upon him, Haldir returned his mate’s stare. “Are you ready?”

 

Glorfindel nodded once. He had no idea what to expect, but when Haldir thrust for the first time, stars exploded in front of his eyes. Now he was grateful for the pillow, because it provided him with much needed support. Just what was happening to him? 

 

Hearing Haldir’s yelp, Glorfindel bowed his head in concentration and pushed back. “Aiya!” A scream escaped him, realizing Haldir had rubbed his pleasure gland again. The sensation running through him caused Glorfindel to moan in his need. They quickly established a rhythm, Glorfindel meeting Haldir’s thrusts. The fabric of the pillow provided him with just enough friction to reach orgasm and he released a long whimper, spilling his seed onto the soft fabric. He was panting heavily and shaking like a leaf.

 

Haldir drove himself home and then froze, feeling Glorfindel’s inner muscles contract around his member for the first time. Releasing his orgasm, he buried himself as deeply as possible. Leaning in closer, he marked Glorfindel with a bite delivered to the side of his throat, suckling possessively and tasting blood.

 

Glorfindel was incapable of movement and allowed Haldir to do as he pleased. His skin was pierced, sharp teeth were buried inside his flesh and he whimpered softly, realizing he was completely at Haldir’s mercy. Oddly enough, it felt reassuring.

 

Both of them were panting hard by the time they had ridden out their orgasm. Haldir’s face rested on Glorfindel’s right shoulder and he chuckled softly. “My, taking you is divine.”

 

Glorfindel didn’t know how to react to that and remained quiet. His body had never felt more alive than this and when Haldir pulled out, he felt the loss sharply. The ribbons were removed from his wrists and he was gently rolled onto his side until he was face to face with Haldir. He half expected to see a smug and accomplished grin on Haldir’s face, but the expression in those hazel eyes spoke of love and dedication. “You were right,” Glorfindel admitted once he had steadied his breathing. “That was just what I needed, but…”

 

“You did not yield, my love,” said Haldir in understanding, caressing the golden tresses. It was important to him that Glorfindel admitted his needs in his own time, without being forced to do so. After brushing some wayward locks behind Glorfindel’s ear, he curled himself protectively around the golden-haired Elf. He could not right all wrongs, but he could hold his mate and express his love for him in the way Glorfindel needed most.

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~`

 

Glorfindel’s world had been upended upon his realizing that he had loved Haldir assuming control in that way, but he was too tired to question himself in this matter. Savoring the closeness of feeling Haldir’s arms around him, he allowed himself to enjoy the sensation and slowly drifted off into reverie.

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

The next morning found Erestor standing in the corridor, looking longingly at the door to his rooms.

 

Elrond found him like that and frowned at the sight. “Erestor?” He closed the door to his own quarters and covered the few steps to Erestor.

 

“They threw me out,” whispered Erestor uncertainly.

 

“Who did?”

 

“Arwen and the artists she asked to paint the nursery. They told me I was in the way and was not to return until the evening.” Erestor shrugged. “I do not mind, not really, but where do I go in the meantime?”

 

“Your problem is easily solved,” said Elrond, pleased that he would have Erestor’s company this morning due to his daughter’s meddling. “I am going to my study and I would love for you to join me.” Slowly, so Erestor could see what he was doing, he leaned in closer and placed a chaste kiss on the other Elf’s lips.

 

Erestor’s mood instantly brightened. “In that case, I will gladly desert my quarters.” Falling into step next to Elrond, he followed the half-Elf to his study.

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

They soon settled down into a daily routine. Elrond and Erestor spent most of the day in each other’s company, usually at work in the library or walking in the gardens.

 

Three months passed by and due to the pregnancy, he continued to grow heavier. Walking about was becoming more awkward, but thankfully Elrond, Haldir, Glorfindel, Arwen and even Lindir were always keeping an eye on him in case he needed help. He appreciated their concern, which made him feel secure and cherished.

 

Eleven months pregnant – with only one more month to go until birth – Elrond cut their strolls short, preferring to sit quietly with his beloved. They never went further than holding hands and kissing, although both felt the need for more. However, they had agreed to wait and were not about to change their minds.

 

They were sitting like that one evening and Erestor was leaning into Elrond’s embrace, his head resting on the half-Elf’s shoulder. His daughter was extremely active and kicking him almost constantly. Elrond had obtained permission to feel her kicks a long time ago and his hand rested on the swollen abdomen, enjoying feeling the movement beneath his fingertips.

 

“She is very eager to be born, Erestor.” Within the month he would have to perform surgery on the pregnant Elf in order to remove the baby from his body. He hoped the Valar would aid him when the hour was upon them.

 

“Aye, she is.” Half-asleep already, Erestor nuzzled Elrond’s throat. Completely relaxed, he was therefore startled when three forms unexpectedly appeared in front of them.

 

Elrond, who had seen the party approach, wondered about the stranger who was being accompanied by Lindir and Haldir. The silver-haired Elf wore grey robes and a brooch in the form of a mallorn leaf. /He is from Lothlorien, then./ He briefly felt alarmed, but seeing the calm expression in Haldir’s eyes, he realized there was no reason for concern.

 

“My Lord?” Haldir bowed politely. “We have received an unexpected visitor. May I introduce Lord Celeborn’s chief healer to you? This is Master Camfael and he is here to help you deliver the baby at Lord Celeborn’s request.”

 

Erestor stirred at hearing his old tutor’s name. “Camfael?” His eyes narrowed, seeing the silver-haired form standing in front of him. “Is that really you?”

 

“Aye, it is I,” replied Camfael calmly, pleased to find Erestor in good health and obviously surrounded by Elves who cared for him. He would make absolutely certain Erestor suffered no miscarriage and that the child was born healthy.

 

TBC


	4. Chapter 4

Heart in Chains

Part 31

 

In the healing wing, Camfael and Elrond exchanged pleased looks, which Erestor noticed at once. Well, seeing them smile was reassuring and he began to hope his daughter’s delivery would go well – not that he would survive the birth though – but that was a price he was willing to pay. “Everything is well?” He still sounded hesitant, afraid he might have misinterpreted their expressions. Or maybe they acted this pleased just to reassure him whilst in reality something was terribly amiss?

 

“We will deliver your daughter in four weeks,” announced Camfael, who had told Elrond about the births he had conducted, including Erestor’s miscarriage once the healer had realized that the half-Elf knew.

 

“Four weeks?” Mixed emotions swept through Erestor. His daughter would be born in four weeks and he would probably die before he’d had a chance to look at her. But he kept his fears to himself, not wanting to worry Elrond.

 

“Here, you are probably cold.” Elrond helped Erestor to slip into his robes again. One of the effects pregnancy had on Erestor was that the Elf was extremely susceptible to the cold. So Elrond had taken to keeping a warm blanket handy whenever Erestor was close and he now wrapped the soft fabric around the pregnant Elf’s form.

 

Erestor sighed blissfully, cocooned by warmth. The smile Camfael gave him made him blush. They had told the healer about the affection between them and Erestor had been relieved to learn that Camfael approved. It was important for him that the healer did, considering their shared past.

 

Camfael, who was putting away the medical instruments they had needed to ascertain the baby’s health, smiled at them. “My Lord, why do you not take Erestor back to his rooms? I am sure he would like to rest for a while.”

 

Erestor waited for Elrond to help him to his feet. He was eleven month’s pregnant and was now so big that he could barely move about by himself and needed someone to pull him to his feet and to help him sit down. And through it all, Elrond remained faithfully at his side. Aiya, if only he could tell the Peredhel they already shared half a bond!

 

“Will you join us for dinner tonight?” Elrond asked Camfael, walking Erestor to the doorway.

 

“Nay, I do not think so. I want to gather certain herbs that will be helpful during surgery.”

 

Elrond nodded gratefully. “We will see you tomorrow, then?”

 

Camfael nodded and watched them leave. Leaving the room himself, he headed for the woods to gather his herbs.

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

“Can we go into the nursery for a moment?” Erestor allowed Elrond to lead him, leaning heavily against the half-Elf.

 

“Of course we can.” They had reached Erestor’s bedroom, and Elrond now walked his charge into the nursery. When the pregnant Elf had first entered the room -- after Arwen had declared it ‘perfect’ -- Erestor had stood in silent admiration and his eyes had filled with tears. The artists had really outdone themselves. They had painted the walls with scenes from the sea. Dolphins, whales, seashells, seagulls and even sea horses were twirled in the gentle waves and Arien shone gently above them, watching over them.

 

Arwen had even had a rocking chair constructed and Erestor had fallen in love with it, rocking in it every evening before going to sleep. Elrond had caught him once, pretending he was rocking his daughter. He had wondered about the immense sadness in Erestor’s eyes, as they had stared at his empty arms. The sight had nearly broken his heart. “Do you want to sit down?”

 

Erestor nodded, knowing Elrond would lead him to the rocking chair. Elrond rearranged the pillows in it before helping him to sit down. Erestor sighed and began rocking contentedly. “’Tis beautiful. She will love it here.”

 

That reminded Elrond. “Have you already thought of a name for your daughter? The day of her birth is approaching quickly.”

 

“Nay, not yet.” Erestor sighed and briefly closed his eyes, trying to imagine what his daughter would look like; raven-haired and hopefully with Elrond’s stormy eyes. If only he could see her just once!

 

“You really should,” said Elrond, sitting on the windowsill and watching Erestor rock. The nursery was more than ready to receive its little inhabitant. Arwen had filled the closet with baby clothes and everything Erestor could possibly need to attend to his little daughter had been put in the wardrobes. “It won’t be long now.”

 

“Four more weeks.” His last four weeks on Arda and he was determined to make the best of them.

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

“Haldir?” Erestor gave the silver-haired Elf a thoughtful look. “Do you miss your brothers?”

 

The question surprised Haldir, who had helped Erestor bathe, and was now in the process of combing the dark, wet mane. “Sometimes,” he admitted, “but Glorfindel does not leave me much time to feel sorry for myself. And Rumil and Orophin have each other. I am not worried about them, but yes, I miss them sometimes.”

 

Haldir was braiding his hair into one, loose plait so the strands wouldn’t get in the way at night when he was trying to move his weight, tossing and turning for a comfortable position. “Do you think you will ever return to Lothlorien?”

 

Hearing Erestor’s melancholy tone, Haldir finished the braid and then sat down on the side of the bed. He made eye contact with the dark-haired Elf and answered him truthfully. “I don’t.”

 

“That must hurt you terribly.” In his last weeks of pregnancy he was also growing increasingly emotional and he felt guilty for causing Haldir to lose touch with his brothers.

 

“Do not blame this on yourself,” said Haldir, soothingly stroking the back of Erestor’s hand.

 

“But Celeborn ordered you! You never had a choice!” Erestor lifted dark, swimming eyes and stared helplessly at the guardian. “You commanded Celeborn’s army before we left.”

 

Haldir rubbed the knuckles of Erestor’s hand. “Aye, it is true that Celeborn ordered me to stay with you, but the three of us volunteered before he made his decision to send me. Rumil and Orophin were also eager to stay with you. It was not a sacrifice for me. They even envied me for being chosen.”

 

That brought a smile to Erestor’s face, forcing back the impending tears. “Thank you, I needed to hear that.”

 

Haldir leaned in closer and pressed a kiss on Erestor’s brow. “You cannot possibly be a burden to me, or my brothers. And Elrond has grown very fond of you, has he not?”

 

“Aye, he has,” replied Elrond, who had entered a few moments ago, but he had remained silent, watching them and listening to them instead. It was no secret to him that Erestor’s mood swings were unpredictable and often caused weeping fits. It was the very reason why he visited with Erestor every night. He had found that his presence had a soothing influence on the pregnant Elf and he would sit with his beloved until Erestor was sound asleep. On more than one occasion he had slipped into bed next to Erestor and held him close during the night. He still recalled that first morning when Erestor had found him in bed with him. That good morning kiss had been amazing and he tried to get a repeat performance as many mornings as possible. “I will stay with him tonight.”

 

Smiling, Haldir excused himself and left.

 

Elrond instantly moved into place and sat down on the bed, leaning his back against the headboard. Within seconds, he had a lap full of purring, pregnant Elf, and he wrapped his arms around Erestor. “You seem happy tonight, my love.” 

 

Erestor gasped for breath. It was the first time ever that Elrond had called him that and he dotingly looked up at the half-Elf from his lap, which made a very comfortable pillow. “You would call me that?”

 

“Yes.” Slowly, Elrond bowed forward and claimed Erestor’s lips. He would never get enough of that sweet taste and every time he explored the other Elf’s mouth, it was like the first time all over again. “You are in my blood.”

 

Erestor’s happy expression briefly wavered. Aye, he *was* in Elrond’s blood, having shared his blood with the half-Elf over three thousand years ago. /And I wish you were in mine./ For then he would truly be whole again. “Will you stay with me tonight? Hold me?”

 

Elrond nodded and shifted on the bed to acquire a more comfortable position. Once he had settled down, he played with the end of the braid, twirling strands of hair even darker than his around his fingertips. “I will.” At hearing that answer, the baby kicked again and Elrond immediately realized why Erestor was grinning. He placed his hand on the swollen abdomen and felt the movement beneath it. “She is very strong.”

 

“She will need her strength,” whispered Erestor, being pulled under by the dark memories of losing his sons. “Can I go to sleep now?”

 

“Most certainly.” Elrond soothingly stroked Erestor’s back, just in case the pregnant Elf was suffering from cramps. “Go to sleep. There will be a new day tomorrow.”

 

“Four more weeks… Just four… more…weeks…” Erestor slowly drifted off into reverie, trusting Elrond to keep him safe and his nightmares away.

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

Arwen joined her father for breakfast in the Hall of Fire. Sitting down, she pouted her lips and tried to find a way to break the bad news to her father.

 

Elrond sensed that something was upsetting her, but knew of no problems. “What is it?”

 

“Elladan and Elrohir… They are close to Imladris’ borders.” She briefly bit her lip. “It would be a most inopportune time if they decided to pay us a visit, considering Erestor’s advanced pregnancy.”

 

“You are worried about the effect they might have on Erestor.” Elrond nodded his head. “You are right. If they do decide to visit, we need to keep them away from Erestor.” That wouldn’t be too hard, as the pregnant Elf had taken to spending most of his time in his rooms, asleep in the bed or rocking in his chair.

 

Then Arwen disclosed the really bad and possibly distressing news to her father. “Glorfindel and Haldir just left with a heavily armed patrol after Orcs were sighted hunting Elladan and Elrohir. It appears my brothers happened upon a pack too powerful for them to fight off alone.”

 

Elrond’s hands, resting beneath the table, changed into fists. “I told them!”

 

“Glorfindel will come to their aid,” said Arwen quickly.

 

But Elrond wasn’t that sure. “I pray to the Valar that he does!”

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

“Ada! Come quickly!” Arwen was running down the stairs after hearing the commotion in the great hall, but Elrond had been in Erestor’s rooms and she reached her brothers first. Her heart missed several beats, seeing Elrohir carry Elladan into the hall. “Aiya, no!”

 

Elrohir, who had refused to let someone else carry his dying twin despite being injured himself, now collapsed onto his knees, placing his brother on the floor in front of him. Hovering above him protectively, he told his twin, “Hold on, Elladan. Adar will help you.”

 

Arwen knelt beside him, trying to determine the seriousness of Elladan’s injury. The blood in her veins froze, finding her brother had sustained several, severe injuries. An Orc arrow – doubtlessly poisoned—had pierced Elrohir’s throat from front to back. Elrohir had left the arrowhead in place, obviously not knowing what to do when faced with such a grave injury. “Ada!” Arwen wept, offering her emotional pain a way out, when Elrond knelt beside her. “Look at the arrow!”

 

Elrond’s throat tightened with despair. Elladan was pale, and cold, old sweat still clung to his son’s brow, but Elladan had stopped sweating some time ago. “By the Valar…” As a trained healer, he recognized the mark of death upon his firstborn and seeing it broke his heart in two. “Not you too.” When would the Valar finally take pity on him? Wasn’t it enough that they had taken his parents, twin brother, Ereinion and Celebrian away from him?

 

“Adar? Help him!” Frantically, Elrohir stared at his father. “Why are you not doing anything? He is dying! In the name of the Valar, help him!” His big eyes released tears of despair, and he tightly clutched Elladan to his chest, no longer paying any attention to the arrow. “Do not give up on him!”

 

“There is nothing I can do,” mumbled Elrond. Had he ever uttered such dreadful words before? Raising his hands, palm upwards, he pleaded with Elrohir. “Give him to me. Maybe I can ease his pain in these last moments.”

 

“You cannot let him die! You cannot do that!” Elrohir, his face wet with tears, stared at his father. “Please save him!”

 

Elrond’s eyes had long since filled with tears of his own and they now flowed down his face. “I would if only I could, but the arrow has been poisoning him for much too long.” Elrond inched closer and folded one arm around Arwen, who was sobbing and tried to pull Elrohir close as well. “Let him die amidst his family.”

 

But Elrohir possessively pulled Elladan away from them. “He is my twin!”

 

“And my brother!” said Arwen pleadingly. “Please, Elrohir…”

 

A strangled sob escaped Elrohir’s throat, finally suffering an emotional breakdown. “I cannot lose him!”

 

Elladan’s eyes were open, and stared blindly at the ceiling. Not even Elrohir was sure if his twin could hear them. But he rocked the motionless body and finally allowed Arwen and Elrond into the embrace as well. “Please, Adar, help him.”

 

“There is nothing I can do!” whimpered Elrond in despair. “He is already on his way to the Great Halls of Mandos.” He was about to curse the Vala for taking his firstborn away from him, when he grew aware of Erestor, who had somehow managed to sit down beside him. “You should not be here.” He raised a hand and caressed Erestor’s face. Witnessing such a scene could evoke a miscarriage!

 

Elrohir had noticed Erestor’s presence as well, but decided not to act on it. Elladan needed him the most and he rocked his brother’s body, growing aware that Elladan’s skin continued to grow colder. “No!”

 

“Give him to me,” said Erestor calmly. He had watched the horrid scene unfold from the landing and had ordered Lindir to help him down the stairs. The white-haired Elf had protested at first, concerned for Erestor’s well-being, but in the end he had obeyed.

 

“Never!” hissed Elrohir venomously, possessively pulling his dying brother away from Erestor when the pregnant Elf reached for him.

 

“Elrohir, give him to me. I can heal him.” He had made his decision while standing on the landing. Seeing the pain in their eyes, he knew he couldn’t turn away from them and he had to offer them his help. Flashes of losing the twins due to healing Telu’s injury moved through him, but he pushed them away. He would give Elladan as much of his life energy as he could spare, but at all times he would make absolutely certain that this daughter had enough life energy to survive.

 

“Erestor! I…” Elrond stared at Erestor in disbelief, but the pregnant Elf was too focused on Elrohir to notice.

“I can bring him back from Mandos, if you will let me.” This was the scariest thing he had ever done, but he had to trust he knew how to protect his daughter from draining her. He owed Elrond, owed the half-Elf for losing his sons. Maybe if he managed to reclaim Elladan his debt would be paid

– not in full, but paid.

 

Elrohir’s eyes revealed his suspicion, but his need to be reunited with his brother outweighed any distrust he felt and he shifted Elladan into Erestor’s arms.

 

“Erestor, do not do this!” A terrible sense of foreboding swept through Elrond, but something in Erestor’s eyes rendered him motionless and he could only stare when the other Elf’s fingertips began to glow with healing energy. “What?” His eyes danced wildly in their sockets, realizing what was happening.

 

Erestor’s swimming eyes briefly fastened on Elrond. “I took two sons away from you. Now let me return one to you.”

 

Elrond’s heart raced upon hearing those words and suddenly all the missing pieces of the puzzle fell into place. His mysterious healer had been so close and he had never realized it was Erestor!

 

Erestor now lovingly caressed Elladan’s brow, whilst the fingers of his other hand curled around the arrow. “I am sorry, but this will hurt.” Now that his healing energy was inside Elladan’s body, he slowly pulled the arrow from Elladan’s flesh and flung it far away from him. The arrowhead landed on the floor with a metallic clink.

 

Elrohir stared at Erestor in shock, finally realizing what the pregnant Elf was doing. Looking at his father, he wondered what to do.

 

But Elrond was just as shocked as his son and could only stare at Erestor.

 

Erestor let his energy flow into Elladan’s fëa and body. It was only due to the bond which he already shared with Elrond that he managed to reach Elladan before the half-Elf set foot in the Great Halls of Mandos. Grabbing hold of Elladan’s fëa, he pulled him back to Arda with him.

 

But the effort was wearing him down, demanding too much of his life energy. And all he had done so far was pulling Elladan’s fëa with him; the half-Elf’s body still needed to be healed. This time, he did things differently. He set aside the life energy his daughter needed to survive and poured the rest –including his own life energy – into Elladan’s body. /I would not survive giving birth anyway. At least this way my death serves a purpose./

 

“Erestor, stop it! Elrond, pull him away!” Haldir ran into the hall, suffering a terrible flash-back. “I won’t allow it to happen again!” Apparently all of the half-Elves were paralyzed with fear and hope, and when Haldir reached Erestor, he pulled the pregnant Elf away from Elladan, who at that exact moment drew in a deep breath.

 

Dark gray eyes stared wildly at Erestor. Elladan was utterly unable to understand what had happened and reached for Elrohir, finding his twin near.

 

Elrohir broke out into hysteric sobs, finding the fatal injury was healing quickly. He pulled Elladan into his arms and released his agony, sobbing in misery.

 

Haldir wrapped his arms around Erestor’s trembling form. His hand instinctively settled on the distended abdomen, relieved to find the baby kicking. “Elrond, get over here!”

 

Haldir’s firm tone broke Elrond from the spell and he literally crawled toward Erestor, after seeing that Elladan was alive. “I…” Rendered speechless, he stared into Erestor’s eyes, alarmed to see the inner light fade.

 

“Remember… your promise…” whispered Erestor with his last breath. “Save… our daughter…” His eyes closed, his head lolled against Haldir’s chest, and he quickly lost consciousness.

 

Elrond doubled over. “Our daughter? OUR daughter!” The knowledge, which he had just gained, overwhelmed him and he shook his head in denial. “No…”

 

Haldir realized he had to take action. “Elrond, this baby needs to be born now. And you had better do your utmost to keep Erestor alive! This child needs both her parents!”

 

“Ada?” Arwen didn’t know what to make of their words, but she did know that Elrond needed to act now. “I will fetch Camfael whilst you take Erestor to the healing wing. Lindir and I will look after Elladan and Elrohir.”

 

“Elladan, is he…?” Elrond looked over his shoulder and a burden was lifted from his shoulders, finding Elladan sitting up and looking about disorientated. It was obvious his firstborn had survived. Arwen was right, he needed to concentrate on Erestor now. “Aye, fetch Camfael! Elrohir, Lindir, take care of Elladan.” Making eye contact with Haldir, he said in a soft voice. “Let me carry him.”

 

Haldir reluctantly gave in and placed Erestor’s limp form in Elrond’s arms. Elrond headed for the Healing House, angry with himself for not realizing the truth earlier. He’d had so many clues and had never connected them. He really should have known when his touch had caused those energy transfers. Walking down the corridor, he sensed Haldir’s presence behind him. The guardian was still at Erestor’s side. /Erestor… Erestor is carrying my child… My daughter!/ Unidentifiable emotions ran through him. He was going to be a father again! But that also meant… The twins! The boys, which Erestor had lost, had been *his* sons. Erestor had conceived when they’d had intercourse after the Battle of the Last Alliance! Fighting back his tears, he forced himself to focus on Erestor and his weakening breathing. /He saved my life twice, and now it is my turn to repay him – twice. Erestor and our daughter will both survive!/

 

He called out orders upon entering the Healing House and his healers hurried to obey. Carrying Erestor into the room where he kept his surgical instruments, he placed the dark-haired Elf’s body on the cot. “Where is Camfael?” He needed the other healer to assist him!

 

“I am here, my Lord!” Camfael, alarmed at seeing the state Erestor was in, hurried over to Elrond’s side, carrying out every order the half-Elf uttered.

 

“I can help too,” offered Haldir, feeling useless and hating that feeling.

 

“No, you will leave.” Elrond pointed Haldir toward the door. “Soon this room will be swarming with healers and you will be in the way.”

 

Haldir nodded in understanding, but before he left, he exchanged one concerned look with the Peredhel. “Do not let him die.”

 

“I will do my best!” hissed Elrond in frustration. “Do you really think I will let him die now that I know who he is and that he is carrying my child? Now leave me!”

 

Haldir stepped into the corridor where he ran into Glorfindel, whose strong arms suddenly enfolded him, holding him tight.

 

“What happened?” Glorfindel had lost track of the twins once they had entered the Last Homely House and one of the servants had told him Elrond had headed here.

 

“Erestor did it again!” Haldir knew it wasn’t fair to aim his anger at his husband, but Glorfindel was the one close to him. “He lost his sons when saving Telu and now he pulled Elladan back! What if he loses his daughter because of this? What if he dies himself? Why was I not there when he needed me to keep him in check? Erestor has always been impulsive, and now due to this pregnancy, it has grown even worse! Glorfindel, he lost consciousness after saving Elladan!”

 

Glorfindel tried to soothe him, rubbing the back of Haldir’s neck. He had to get his information straight. “Elladan is alive?” When they had come upon the twins, Elladan had already been wounded and they had helped the twins to get to the Last Homely House as quickly as possible.

 

“Aye, Elladan is alive. He was sitting up by himself when Elrond and I left.” Haldir shook off Glorfindel’s hand and paced the waiting area like a caged animal. “Erestor… he was…” Lost for words, he pleadingly looked at Glorfindel.

 

“History repeated itself,” said Glorfindel in horrid understanding. “And now they are fighting for the baby’s life and his.”

 

“Oh, Glorfindel, they cannot die.” Haldir needed Glorfindel close and returned to his husband’s embrace. “This time it was *my* fault. I should have hurried inside faster, knowing what he would do!”

 

“’Tis not your fault,” said Glorfindel soothingly. “Erestor decided to do this.”

 

“But I might have been able stop him! I had to pull him away from Elladan because he was still strengthening him. It must be due to the bond he shares with Elrond that he could so quickly pull Elladan back. Oh, Glorfindel, what if he loses the child and survives himself?”

 

Glorfindel swallowed hard. “What if the child lives and he dies?”

 

“Elrond will take care of her. He knows the truth now, having seen Erestor heal Elladan.” Haldir clung to Glorfindel, praying to the Valar to give Erestor the strength he needed to survive. “Elrond knows he is fighting for his daughter’s life.”

 

“But does Elrond also know that Erestor is bound to him?”

 

“I do not think so,” said Haldir softly. “But I am done with this secrecy. No matter what the outcome will be, I will make certain Elrond learns the whole truth about Erestor!”

 

TBC

 

Beta read by Sulien.

All remaining mistakes are mine.

 

Heart in Chains

Part 32

 

 

Elrond’s hands shook, holding the sharp knife, as he was about to make the incision. Swallowing hard, he realized he couldn’t perform this surgery. He was too emotionally involved and he looked pleadingly at Camfael. “Would you do it? I…” The tremors that shook his hand increased and he nearly dropped the scalpel onto the floor.

 

Camfael – who had expected something like this to happen now that Elrond knew he was about deliver his own daughter – nodded and took the scalpel from the half-Elf’s hand. Camfael’s hand was steady making that first incision and he instructed Elrond to try to slow down the blood flow. Erestor was still unconscious, for which Camfael was grateful. Should the Elf awake during surgery, they would have to act quickly, slipping him healing herbs that would numb his pain.

 

Elrond cringed, seeing how much blood erupted from Erestor’s abdomen. Until now, he had never considered the possible complications that could actually take place, but now that Erestor had drained himself to pull back Elladan, those complications became very real. “I cannot lose him.” Elrond was suddenly reminded of Elrohir’s words, spoken just moments before when the twin had faced losing his brother. Now he understood what Elrohir had gone through and he worked harder on stopping the blood flow.

 

“Adar? Can I help?” Elrohir had silently entered the room, careful not to distract Camfael. He flinched at seeing the bloodied mess Erestor’s abdominal area had become.

 

“Be quiet and do not distract us,” whispered Elrond, grateful that Elrohir had set aside their differences and arguments now that he needed his son at his side. Elrohir was an accomplished healer and the Valar knew they needed all the help they could get.

 

Elrohir nodded and waited patiently in case any instructions would follow.

 

Although Elrond had delivered Arwen and the twins himself, this was very much different. For one, Erestor was a male and second, Erestor was exhausted. He prayed to the Valar, asking them to watch over the dark-haired Elf and to allow him to stay on Arda.

 

Unexpectedly, loud crying echoed through the room and Elrond looked upon his daughter for the first time. She was a bit small, but she was born four weeks prematurely. Erestor’s blood still clung to her and when Camfael handed her to him, he signaled for Elrohir to take his place at the healer’s side.

 

Elrond carried his daughter to a table, where two other healers helped him clean the blood from the baby’s body and to test her reflexes. “Thank you…” Elrond said, thanking the Valar. “Thank you for keeping her alive.” Looking over his shoulder, he watched Camfael and Elrohir work on closing the gaping wound, but the blood still flowed profusely. “Please do not let him bleed to death. Do not take him away from me. Not now that I know the truth!” He was torn between staying with his daughter and returning to Erestor’s side. But he knew that Camfael and Elrohir needed space to work and three pairs of hands was one pair too many.

 

“Here, my Lord,” said one of the healers, who had finished cleaning up the baby. After wrapping her in a warm sheet, she placed the baby in the half-Elf’s arms.

 

Entranced, Elrond stared at the small, crying baby in his arms. “I have become a father again.” After so many centuries, he held another baby in his arms, one he had fathered in Lothlorien when Erestor had comforted him. A song erupted from his heart and he would have given it his voice, if it hadn’t been for Erestor’s fragile state.

 

Carrying her in his arms, he came to a stand still at the foot of the bed, from where he watched Camfael and Elrohir work. The silver-haired healer had managed to close the wound and was stitching up the last bit of skin, but the pool of blood beneath Erestor made his heart falter. The robes were drenched in blood and the Elf was as pale as a corpse. For one moment, he was convinced Erestor’s fëa had left them and that the Elf’s essence was on its way to the Halls of Waiting, but then he saw the chest slowly rise and fall. The Valar hadn’t demanded Erestor’s life after all and Elrond dared release a sigh. “How does he fare?” He made eye contact with Camfael, who looked extremely worried.

 

“Erestor is alive, but barely.” Camfael carefully considered his course of action. “We need to get him into a warm bed.”

 

“I can help,” offered Elrohir, who felt deeply conflicted. He had heard Erestor’s words as well, and had instantly understood that the pregnant Elf was carrying his father’s child. The baby was his half-sister, and although he wanted to be angry with Elrond, it was hard to hang on to his hatred, seeing the fear and misery on his father’s face.

 

“No, *I* want to do that,” decided Elrond. “Elrohir, will you take care of your sister?”

 

Elrohir swallowed hard. He had wanted to correct his father, telling Elrond this was his *half* sister, but couldn’t do it. His father needed his support right now. “Of course I will.”

 

Elrond carefully placed his daughter in Elrohir’s arms. “Find a warm crib for her and make sure someone stays with her at all times. She seems healthy, but one never knows. She was not supposed to be born for another four weeks. Treat her gently.”

 

Elrohir nodded firmly, feeling a twinge of guilt, realizing his father wasn’t completely sure he would take good care of her. He couldn’t really blame Elrond, considering the way Elladan and he had acted when they had seen Erestor that first time. “I will make sure she is well taken care of.”

 

“Thank you.” Elrond watched Elrohir leave the room and his heart called out to him to go after them, as he wanted to hold his daughter, but Erestor needed him most. After exchanging a look with Camfael, they carefully removed the drenched robes, and then moved him to another cot. A healer brought bowls with tepid water and washing cloths and they tenderly cleaned their charge. The last thing they did was move Erestor to a warm and comfortable bed instead of a narrow cot and they covered him with warm blankets.

 

Elrond pulled up a chair and sat down beside Erestor’s bed. He gathered a cold hand in his and tenderly stroked the icy skin. “He must survive!”

 

Camfael’s mouth had gone dry, knowing there was a distinct possibility that Erestor would die. “He might lack the necessary strength to return to us.”

 

“I won’t give up on him!” vowed Elrond passionately.

 

“My Lord?” Haldir hesitantly shuffled into the room and his heart contracted painfully, seeing the state Erestor was in. Elrohir had shown them the baby when the half-Elf had passed by the waiting area, so they knew she was fine. Arwen had instantly offered to mother over her and had taken her into her arms, leaving Elrohir standing dazed. Luckily, Elladan had recovered enough to offer Elrohir a listening ear and the twins settled down on chairs in the waiting area, talking softly.

 

That had been the moment when Haldir and Glorfindel had decided to inquire about Erestor’s health. Their worst fear had been to find Erestor’s corpse beneath a sheet, but the dark-haired Elf was still hanging on to life. The chocolate brown eyes were closed and Erestor was completely motionless. “Will he survive?” asked Glorfindel softly.

 

“He must!” said Elrond, refusing to give up on Erestor. His stare briefly left Erestor’s face to meet Haldir’s eyes. “I want to know everything. Nothing, but the truth. And I want to hear it *NOW*!”

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

Glorfindel knew exactly what Elrond was going through. He had felt the same way after Haldir had told him about Erestor and he wasn’t sure he should reveal that he had known already of this to the half-Elf. 

 

Elrond had been rendered speechless whilst listening to Haldir and he now squeezed Erestor’s hand – which still rested in his. “They forced him to bind himself to me?”

 

Haldir gave the Peredhel a look filled with understanding. “You can call it that. Erestor always maintained it was his choice, but after such a long imprisonment, he was dying inside. He wanted to walk in the open again and Galadriel offered him just that.”

 

Elrond bared his teeth. “And she called my sons bastards?”

 

Haldir flinched. Maybe he shouldn’t have mentioned that, but it was best to do away with all secrets. “She did. Hearing that hurt Erestor immensely.”

 

Elrond absentmindedly rubbed Erestor’s knuckles, hoping the sleeping Elf somehow sensed his presence. His mind spun with all of the new information and sorting everything out was hard. /It started at the foot of Mount Doom, when he pulled me back after I lost Ereinion. He bound himself to me and gave himself freely./ The blood stains on his sheets returned to haunt him. “I hurt him that night.”

 

Haldir understood. “You tore him badly and it took him days to recover, but he never blamed you, realizing you thought him to be the High-King.”

 

Elrond’s eyes filled with tears. “He returned to Lothlorien, found himself pregnant and lost my heirs?”

 

Haldir nodded. “He tried to keep his pregnancy a secret, as he was not sure what Galadriel would do to his sons. Later, after the miscarriage, Camfael told me about Erestor’s plan to find someone who would take his sons to Imladris, hoping they would be allowed to stay here.”

 

“He would never have told me,” realized Elrond in dread.

 

“He could not afford to take that risk. Galadriel was close and watching him.”

 

Elrond wished he had known from the start. Why Galadriel and Celeborn had sent Erestor to him in secrecy mystified him. “I would have accepted him as my official mate after I lost Ereinion.”

 

“But Galadriel did not want that, as she thought him a kinslayer, but you know better now.” Haldir met Elrond’s eyes and found them burning hotly. “He was taking care of Elros and you, helping Elwing raise you.”

 

“And he is related to Indis… He is much older than I thought. These last millennia were torment to him.” Elrond sighed deeply. “I do wish he had confided in me when he arrived. Did he not know he was safe here?” Elrond sought out Haldir’s eyes. “Why continue to keep this from me?”

 

“He was afraid you would take his daughter away from him. That you would be furious with him for being manipulated in such a way. He lost his sons and did not dare risk losing his daughter as well.” Haldir hoped Elrond understood Erestor’s motives to keep this a secret. “I never agreed with him, but… I had to honor his wishes.”

 

Elrond understood Haldir, but wished the guardian hadn’t obeyed Erestor. He still felt shocked, realizing he might have lost his daughter and his beloved. “I should have known,” he whispered eventually. “When I touched him unexpectedly, I would feel his energy flow into my fingertips.”

 

“You had no reason to suspect he was the healer Galadriel sent,” offered Glorfindel. “Try to look toward the future and not the past. Erestor will need you at his side when he regains consciousness and he will be terrified, knowing you found out the truth about him.”

 

Elrond nodded once. “But I am not through yet with Galadriel. She will answer to me for her actions!”

 

Haldir raised a hand, trying to placate Elrond. “Are you sure you want to draw her attention Erestor’s way again? She has left him alone since Celeborn demanded she stopped meddling in his life, but if you provoke her—“

 

“Haldir! Erestor lost our sons! If I had known he was pregnant I could have taken him to Imladris, could have watched over him and delivered my sons. She took something very precious away from me!” Elrond was finding it hard to control his raging emotions. “She used him, sent him to my bed and I hurt him, not knowing what was happening with me! Galadriel nearly ruined his life! If Celeborn had not sent Erestor here, I might have lost my daughter as well!” Speaking loudly, his eyes burned with rage, making Haldir avert his eyes. But Elrond then reminded himself that he wasn’t really angry with Haldir. He was furious with Galadriel!

 

“Erestor needs you! Your daughter needs you!” cautioned Glorfindel, recognizing an impending temper tantrum when he saw one. “You do not have the luxury of giving in to your rage when they need you so badly!”

 

Elrond was still unconvinced, but tried to calm down for Erestor’s sake. “He looks so fragile.” Rubbing his thumb over the inside of Erestor’s wrist, he wished the doe-like eyes would open and look at him. “I do not understand why I did not recognize him. Now that I know the truth, I recognize the haunted eyes, but…”

 

“Ada?” Arwen, carrying her half-sister in her arms, slowly entered the room. She had overheard their last sentences and knew she needed to ground her father. “Your newest daughter wants to see you.” Learning Erestor was carrying her father’s child had stunned her, but when Elrohir had placed the baby in her arms, she had forgiven Elrond.

 

“My daughter…” Elrond’s features contorted, looking at Arwen. “I did not know she was mine, Arwen, or I would have told you.”

 

She nodded. “Do not feel guilty for being kept in the dark,” she said, gently placing her half-sister in her father’s arms. “She is a lovely baby.”

 

Elrond’s breath caught, finding stormy gray eyes staring back at him. The first dark hairs showed on her head and he could already tell that she would take after him. /But this little one has Erestor’s nose and lips./ He loved seeing his beloved’s features in her. Cradling her close to his chest, he made soft, reassuring noises.

 

“She needs a name,” said Elladan, who felt strong enough to face his father. Elrohir was at his side, as always, and they had talked these last few hours, agreeing the bad feelings between them had to be buried.

 

“Erestor should name her.” Elrond gave his sons a defiant stare and suddenly wondered what Erestor’s sons would have looked like. But he shook the question from his mind, knowing better than to give in to the ‘what ifs’.

 

Arwen discreetly cleared her throat. “Erestor is… unable to do so right now. Maybe you should name my sister in his place.”

 

Elrond sighed dejectedly. Arwen was right; the little one needed a name. “She will be called Indlîrien, for a song formed in my heart when I held her in my arms that first time.”

 

“’Tis a beautiful name,” said Glorfindel approvingly. “Maybe feeling her close will help Erestor to find his way back to us?”

 

Elrond nodded, moved closer to the bed, and rearranged Erestor’s right arm so Indlîrien could rest there comfortably. “Please return to me, Erestor.” He forgot about Haldir and Glorfindel, Arwen and the twins, as his world momentarily existed solely of Erestor and Indlîrien.

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

Arwen wrapped one arm around Elladan’s waist and the other around Elrohir. “We should give them some privacy.” They also needed to talk. “Glorfindel? Would you please join us? My brothers and I have several questions where Erestor is concerned.”

 

Glorfindel exchanged a look with Haldir now that Elrond was ignoring them. Haldir nodded, giving his husband permission to tell the three half-Elves. “Tell them, but do it gently.”

 

“They need to know about Erestor’s twins…” Glorfindel caught Elladan’s surprised expression, hearing that.

 

“But be careful how you tell them,” cautioned Haldir. “Remember how shocked you were when you found out.”

 

“I will tread carefully,” promised Glorfindel, as he rose from the chair. He would tell them what they needed to know.

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

“My Lord? Elrond?” Haldir sat on his heels next to the half-Elf, trying to catch Elrond’s gaze. “Elrond?” The entranced expression in the stormy gray eyes worried him. “You cannot give in to despair. Erestor needs you to be strong.”

 

Haldir’s voice forced Elrond to let go of his musings, and he reluctantly shifted his gaze from Erestor to Haldir. “How can I be strong, knowing…” Indlîrien unexpectedly cried softly and Elrond gathered her in his arms. “I had hoped that knowing our daughter was alive would bring him back to me.”

 

“Erestor was catatonic for nearly three millennia after losing the twins,” said Haldir, reminding Elrond, “But I agree that we need to reclaim him as quickly as possible.”

 

Elrond’s eyes narrowed, realizing Haldir had a plan. “What do you suggest?”

 

“My Lord, Erestor is bound to you, which means that he can lend you his strength when you need it. I suggest you complete the bond, letting Erestor draw his strength from you as well.”

 

Elrond nodded. “I already thought of that…”

 

“But?”

 

Elrond released a troubled sigh. “There is no ‘but’. Haldir, fetch me a small knife.”

 

Haldir rose to carry out Elrond’s order. A moment later, he retuned, placing the requested item on the bed next to Elrond.

 

“Take Indlîrien to Arwen and stay with them. I need to be alone in order to do this properly.” Elrond pressed a parental kiss onto his daughter’s brow and handed her to Haldir. “I will create this bond, and send word once I have completed it.”

 

Pleased, Haldir nodded. “Erestor loves you. He has loved you for quite some time, but never admitted it to himself. I know you can make him happy. He deserves some happiness after everything he has been put through.”

 

“And I love him,” whispered Elrond absentmindedly. “Now go and make sure no one disturbs me.”

 

Haldir left, hoping Elrond would succeed in forging this bond and bringing Erestor back to them.

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

“Haldir? Where is Ada?” Arwen opened her arms and accepted the baby into them.

 

“Elrond is going to bind himself to Erestor,” announced Haldir, concerned about the twins’ reaction to this particular fact. Their expressions hardened momentarily, but then softened. “I gather Glorfindel told you that Erestor is already bound to your father?”

 

“For the last three millennia, aye,” said Elladan in an unreadable tone. “He saved our father’s life twice?”

 

“Yes, the first time was after the Battle of the Last Alliance and the second time when your mother sailed for Valinor. If Erestor had not confirmed their bond, your father would have faded.” Haldir studied Elladan’s eyes and found them wavering. “Indlîrien is your half-sister, Elladan, why would you stop Elrond from binding himself to Erestor? By doing so the bond comes full circle and Erestor will no longer be condemned to a half-life. He has sustained your father for too long.”

 

“’Tis a lot to take in,” explained Elrohir when Elladan remained quiet. “We have suddenly gained a sister and we are trying to accept the fact that our father has found a new mate.”

 

“Erestor has been Elrond’s mate for three thousands years,” said Haldir softly, “’Tis new for Elrond, but not for Erestor.”

 

Arwen, who had been rocking her sister, now spoke up. “I want my father to be happy and knowing what I do now, I agree with his decision to complete the bond.”

 

Elladan looked thoughtfully at his twin. “What are your thoughts on this?”

 

Elrohir looked at Indlîrien, already recognizing some of Elrond’s features. “’Tis the right thing to do. And we have already gained a sister.”

 

Elladan sighed, giving in. “You think our father has made the right decision, then?”

 

“Yes, he is doing the only honorable thing by binding himself to Erestor. We should accept this – him.”

 

Glorfindel felt proud, realizing the twins had finally put aside their fears and self-loathing. “Erestor will be very happy to hear that.”

 

“If he wakes up,” warned Haldir. “I sincerely hope he won’t withdraw into himself for another three thousand years.”

 

“He did what?” Elladan’s eyes revealed surprise.

 

“You did not tell them?” asked Haldir, making certain Glorfindel had left out that part.

 

“You told me to tread carefully,” said Glorfindel softly.

 

Haldir drew in a deep breath. “After Erestor suffered a miscarriage he became lost to us for nearly three millennia. He needed that long to mourn his sons’ deaths… your half-brothers. They were still inside his body when they died, but they were very real, and very much alive to him.” Haldir walked over to where his husband was sitting and took a seat next to him. “All we can do now is to wait. Elrond promised he would send word if there was any news.”

 

Arwen continued to rock Indlîrien, finding comfort in holding her. Elladan wrapped an arm around Elrohir, sitting down as well, resting his head on his brother’s shoulder. They settled in for a long wait.

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

Elrond briefly balanced the knife in his hand. His mind was already made up, but he felt lost, looking at Erestor’s fragile form. What if creating this bond was too little, too late? Realizing he couldn’t afford to think like that, he placed the sharp tip of the blade against a fingertip and made a deep cut.

 

He didn’t need much blood to establish a bond; a few drops would do. Prying Erestor’s blue lips open, he slid the bleeding fingertip inside. He waited for a few minutes, until he was sure that several droplets had made their way down Erestor’s throat. Emotions nearly kept him from speaking, causing a lump to form in his throat, but then he took heart and finally took the step Galadriel should have let him take three millennia ago.

 

“I, Elrond Half-Elven, bind my fëa to yours. Like you did three thousand years ago, I do now. I will share my life energy with you, sustain and strengthen you. From this moment on, there will never again be another. You are my mate, lover and husband. We will raise Indlîrien together and we will give her all the love she needs. Your life of misery ends here, ends today. From this day on, I will stand at your side and defend you if necessary. No hurt will ever come to you. May the Valar bless this union and speed your recovery. Please return to me, melamin, for I do not want to live without you.”

 

Removing his digit from Erestor’s lips, he leaned in closer to seal the binding with a kiss. He tasted the coppery blood on his tongue and hoped the binding had been successful. He would know in a few minutes. The tip had stopped bleeding and he wrapped his fingers around Erestor’s. Slipping his other hand beneath Erestor’s neck, he drew in a deep breath and then concentrated.

 

For one terrible moment nothing happened and he grew afraid that he had done something wrong, that the bond had been rejected, but then pulsing energy left his fingertips, flowing into Erestor’s body and causing a soft glow beneath the skin. He knew he couldn’t exhaust himself, because Erestor would need him once he was awake, and pulled back when he began to feel drained. The energy transfer stopped and Elrond’s heart fluttered wildly, finding Erestor had opened his eyes. But the other Elf had not yet regained consciousness. It was merely a healing sleep he was in.

 

But it was a start.

 

Elrond tucked the blanket around Erestor’s form and sat with his beloved for long moments, before he felt strong enough to get to his feet. Realizing he wanted to tell Haldir, Glorfindel and his children that the binding had been successful himself, he slowly made his way to the doorway.

 

Looking over his shoulder, he watched Erestor sleep. When he came back, he would slip between the covers and hold his new mate until Erestor finally regained consciousness. But first, he needed to tell his loved ones that the binding had been completed. Closing the door behind him, he headed for the waiting area.

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

His hand twitched, missing its warm companion, and searched for it. Erestor blinked, waking up from his long, dark sleep.

 

 

TBC

 

Beta read by Sulien, who also supplied me with the baby’s name, thanks, hon!

All remaining mistakes are mine.

 

Heart in Chains

Part 33

 

 

His worst fears had finally come true. He was still alive, but his daughter wasn’t. The lack of a filled cradle in his room told him that, causing tears to escape his eyes. What had happened? He had told Elrond to put the baby’s needs first at all times!

 

Aiya, his last conscious moments suddenly returned to him, showing him Elladan’s injuries and his attempt at healing them. He had done it again! His need to help had caused him to suffer a miscarriage at eleven months. /And Elrond knew… I made the mistake of telling him to take care of *our* daughter./ It had been the stupidest thing he could have done. Now that their daughter had died, Elrond would hate him for all eternity. That was probably the very reason why he was alone. Elrond had left him to mourn their daughter’s death and would never want to see him again. /I cannot possibly face Elrond after what I did. He gave me three children and I lost them because of my foolishness./

 

His hand involuntarily settled on his abdomen, which was flat again. The loss overwhelmed him and he cried softly. /I do not want to live any longer. Why did the Valar let me live? Why are they this cruel?/ He shouldn’t have survived and wondered why the Valar refused him entrance to the Halls of Mandos.

 

/I cannot stay here. They will shun me, hate me. Elladan and Elrohir will be greatly upset, learning that Elrond did bed me eleven months ago and Arwen will be disappointed as well. I might still have Haldir’s loyalty, but I do not want him conflicted with Glorfindel, who will not take well to learning I lost his Lord’s child. After all, the baby was the very reason why he pledged himself to me. I have to set them free./

 

Erestor didn’t know where the strength came from to push himself into an upright position. Panting softly, he swung his feet onto the floor and supported himself by placing one hand against his still aching abdomen. /I was happy here these last few months, but I always knew it would not last. It is time to leave. Without me, it will be easier for them to sort out their lives./ But did he have the physical strength to leave?

 

Grateful that he was already wearing a warm nightshirt, he pushed himself to his feet. The nightshirt would do and he didn’t bother putting on additional clothing, as he wanted the Valar to take his fëa to the Great Halls of Waiting. Maybe he would freeze to death in his currently weakened state. 

 

He stood rather unsteadily on his feet and supported himself by placing one hand against the wall. Making his way to the stables would take his last energy, but he had to do this now – had to leave before they started to voice their accusations. He just couldn’t face them!

 

Step by step, he managed to cover the distance to the door. Opening it took some time as his fingers were stiff and refused to curl around the door handle. Frustrated, he groaned softly at the energy it took for him to open the door. Looking about, he found the corridor empty. /The house should be filled with the cries of a newborn, but I failed Elrond again./ Depressed, he slowly made his way down the corridor. He lost track of time, but suddenly he found himself in the stables. Now he had to find Tirith and tell the horse where to take him.

 

Hearing a whiny, Erestor turned right and came to a standstill in front of the horse’s box. “Tirith…” He had never before been so happy to see this particular horse.

 

Tirith’s nostrils caught his charge’s scent and he recalled his Lord’s orders to protect this Elf at all cost.

 

Erestor fumbled with the lock and was about to give up, when it unexpectedly sprang open. Tirith, realizing his charge was weak, pushed open the door and walked toward Erestor.

 

Erestor immediately wrapped his fingers in the horse’s long mane. “Tirith, we need to go to Lothlorien, to my sons’ tomb. Will you take me there?” Even if he was physically strong enough to survive, emotionally he had given up on life.

 

Tirith gently moved his head against Erestor’s shoulder, trying to tell the Elf he would obey. Realizing how fragile and weak his charge was, he went down onto his knees and allowed Erestor to easily slip onto his back.

 

Collapsing onto Tirith’s warm and welcoming body, Erestor clawed at the strands of dark mane, as it was his only hold on the horse. “I want to leave now.” His heart was telling him to stay in Imladris, as he had been happy here, but an even stronger voice told him to leave. Elrond would never want to see him again.

 

Tirith rose from the floor now that his charge was safely seated on his back and found himself a way out of the stables. Drawing fresh air into his nostrils, he began to speed up, quickly leaving Imladris behind him.

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

Elrond shuffled into the waiting area where his family and friends had gathered and failed to conceal his fatigue. When Glorfindel unexpectedly jumped to his feet and wrapped an arm around his waist, the half-Elf let him, allowing his friend to guide him to a chair.

 

Arwen, who had handed Indlîrien to Elrohir because her arms had grown heavy, expectantly looked at her father. “How does he fare?”

 

Elrohir would not admit it aloud, but he was quickly losing his heart to Indlîrien, who was happily asleep after he had given her a bottle with milk. She had even burped when she was supposed to. Elladan had teasingly remarked that he would make a good father one day, and Elrohir hoped he would get the chance to find out in the future. Looking at his father’s tired expression, Elrohir waited for Elrond to answer his sister’s question.

 

“I bonded with him and gave him most of my strength. He should survive and wake up shortly. All is as well as it can possibly be.” Elrond briefly closed his eyes, tired to the bone, but he couldn’t give in to exhaustion yet. “I take it the two of you talked?” Seeing Elrohir hold Indlîrien he dared hope that the twins would accept her into the family.

 

“We did,” replied Elladan in a thoughtful tone. “And we are willing to get to know Erestor. But that is as far as we are willing to go… at this particular moment.”

 

Elrond nodded in understanding. Once they got to know Erestor, the twins would realize the Elf’s love for him was true and that in turn would make them fully accept Erestor into their lives. Addressing Elrohir, Elrond said, “She looks adorable, does she not? She even reminds me of Arwen when she was born.”

 

Elrohir smiled happily. “Considering she was born prematurely, she seems strong and alert… when she is awake.”

“I wanted to thank you for assisting me during the birth,” said Elrond in a choked tone, as overwhelming memories returned to him. “I… lost my nerve.” Shaking his head he remembered how badly his hands had trembled. “I now also understand how you felt when you were about to lose Elladan. I suddenly realized that I could not live without Erestor.”

 

Elrohir nodded once. “Find comfort in the fact that Erestor is alive and will heal eventually. He will need time to recover from the surgery, but you won’t lose him.”

 

Haldir, who had been quiet up until this point, said, “You look tired. Maybe you would like to rest for a short while?”

 

“Aye, I would like to lie down and rest,” admitted Elrond, “But first I want to hold my daughter for a short while.”

 

Elrohir carefully rose from his chair, made his way over to his father and placed the tiny, tightly wrapped up bundle in the half-Elf’s arms. His arms felt surprisingly empty now that Indlîrien was gone from them!

 

Elrond sighed blissfully. “Ah, little one, you are a precious gift and one day I will lend my voice to the feelings that moved through me upon seeing you for the first time. But not whilst your father is still unconscious and struggling back to life.” Bowing down, he placed a tender kiss on his daughter’s brow and then carefully gave her back to Elrohir. “I will find myself a cot here in the healing wing, as my own quarters are too far away from here.”

 

Glorfindel smiled wickedly. “Does this mean Arwen can tackle a new project?”

 

Arwen frowned. “What do you mean by that?”

 

“The nursery is in Erestor’s quarters, but I think it is safe to assume that Elrond will want access to it. Maybe a passage way? Or break down a wall and join both quarters?”

 

Elrond smiled thankfully. “You are already ahead of me, but ‘tis a good idea. Arwen, would you see to that? And make sure they complete it before Erestor and I move back to our rooms?”

 

”I will contact the builders right away.” Arwen, glad she had something to do, rose and left the waiting area. Rearranging their quarters would distract her from worrying about Erestor and in this way she was actually doing something to make things more enjoyable for him. But she didn’t plan on staying away from Indlîrien for too long. Night was falling and she wanted to tuck her in and sing her a lullaby. She had already grown attached to her sister and hoped everything would turn out well for her father and Erestor.

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

Elladan assisted his father in lying down, after locating an empty room in the healing wing. He covered Elrond’s body with a warm blanket and smiled tenderly. “You were right, you know.”

 

Elrond’s eyes, already filling with sleep, looked questioningly at his son. “In what way?”

 

“Elrohir and I were desperately holding onto our hatred, but… Indlîrien opened our eyes. She is our little sister, and like we did when Arwen was so tiny, we will take care of her and defend her.”

 

“Thank you… for accepting… this,” whispered Elrond, as he drifted off to sleep.

 

Elladan sighed, realizing how important this was to their father. “We still need time to accept Erestor’s new role in our lives, but I think that in the end we will be able to welcome him into our family. Nana would have wanted it that way.” When he had realized that his mother would have approved, his anger and self-hatred had begun to fade. After all, Elrohir and he had been there when Celebrian had told Elrond to love again. Bending down, he placed a kiss on his father’s dark hair and was stunned to find a few gray hairs mixed in with the raven strands.

 

“We did not make things easy for you, but that will change, Adar.”

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

Elladan decided against returning to his brother’s side and headed for Erestor’s room instead. It had been several hours since their father had informed them of the binding and he wanted to make sure the healers were taking good care of his father’s new life mate.

 

Soundlessly opening the door, he stepped inside, surprised to find no healer sitting at the bedside. Or had the healer left briefly? Puzzled, he approached the bed and was surprised to find it empty. Had the healers moved Erestor without informing them? Or had there been complications and had they been forced to perform more surgery?

 

Now that his father was unable to make inquiries, Elladan left the room in search of Camfael, whom he found in the room where they had operated on Erestor. “Master Camfael?”

 

Camfael looked at Elladan, surprised to find the oldest twin here. “How can I help you?”

 

“Where is Erestor?”

 

“Asleep in his room, of course.”

 

“No, he is not,” said Elladan, firmly shaking his head. “I wanted to check on him, but the bed is empty.”

 

Camfael immediately became alert. “But he must be there!”

 

“He is not!” Elladan frowned, realizing something was amiss. “You did not move him?”

 

“No, in his current state he should not be moved at all!” Camfael gathered his robes around him and quickly headed for Erestor’s room. Once he had reached it, he stared at the empty bed in shock. “There is only one explanation,” he said through clenched teeth. “Erestor has left.”

 

Elladan’s eyes widened. “But you told me he should not move!”

 

“Erestor does not think rationally at times!” said Camfael in a harder tone than was strictly necessary. “Trust me, I have known him for several millennia and his way of thinking is… twisted.” He tried to put himself in Erestor’s situation and quickly understood what had happened. “He woke up in an empty room. His daughter was nowhere in sight and neither was Elrond. He drew the only conclusion he could; that his baby had died, causing Elrond to desert him. By the Grace of the Valar, why was no one sitting with him?”

 

“It must have happened when my father told everyone to leave the room. We assumed he would stay with Erestor and when he joined us in the waiting area, no one realized Erestor was alone at that point.”

 

“You must start a search!” Camfael shook his head, angry with himself for not looking after Erestor in a better way. “He is in no condition to be out there on his own!”

 

“I will tell Glorfindel and Haldir and we will organize several search parties.” Elladan was already on his way to the doorway, when he realized that he also needed to tell his father. Elrond would not react well to finding out that his new mate was missing.

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

“How could this happen?” Elrond, enraged at his own stupidity, marched through the corridor toward Erestor’s rooms, hoping his mate had headed back to his chambers upon wakening.

 

Glorfindel bowed his head, feeling guilty as well. “I assumed Camfael or one of the other healers was sitting with him.” He exchanged a look with Haldir, whose narrow lips revealed his husband’s anger.

 

“Erestor!” Elrond pushed the doors to the other Elf’s rooms open and entered. A quick search of the rooms showed them that they were empty. “He is not here either! Where is he?” Elrond turned to his friends. “Find him! Do not just stand there! Find him!”

 

Haldir immediately ran out of the rooms, as a terrible thought had occurred to him. “Glorfindel, come with me!”

 

Elrond remained behind, walking into the nursery, which should be filled with the happy sounds of their daughter. Instead he was alone. Determined not to give in to his despair, he left, following Glorfindel.

 

“Why did you take us here?” Glorfindel looked about the stables, wondering why Haldir had brought them here.

 

“Tirith…” Haldir searched the stables until he came upon the horse’s empty box. His heart twitched painfully, realizing his worst fear had come true.

 

Elrond, who now appeared at Haldir’s side, was overcome with a sense of dread at the sight of the empty box. “He left?” He had a hard time accepting that. “Erestor is in no condition to be riding a horse!”

 

Haldir’s eyes narrowed. “He assumed he lost his daughter and that reminded him of losing his sons. By Elbereth! He is on his way back to Lothlorien! To their tomb!” Dread formed a fist around his heart, squeezing tightly. “What if Galadriel finds him first?”

 

“We cannot allow that to happen!” Elrond was determined to find his elusive mate. “Glorfindel, tell the stable hands to prepare the horses. Haldir, alert my men and tell them that we are leaving within the hour!” Turning around, he angrily marched out of the stables and into the courtyard. His gaze fastened on the road leading away from Imladris. The mere fact of knowing that Erestor was out there on his own caused his heart to stop beating momentarily. “Please,” he prayed to the Valar, “You have kept him alive and safe so far. Continue to protect him until I find him.”

 

Elrond shook himself from his worries and headed for his rooms to exchange his robes for more suitable attire, vowing passionately that they would track Erestor down and bring him home.

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

“Adar, you cannot leave us behind! We owe Erestor a debt of honor and we are coming along!” Elladan was putting his foot down.

 

Elrond glared at his oldest son in frustration as this argument was keeping him from leaving. “Suit yourself then!” He had been reluctant to allow them to accompany him, considering Elladan’s near death, but his oldest son looked like he had made a complete recovery.

 

Victoriously, Elladan and Elrohir retrieved their horses from the stables and swung into the saddle.

 

Elrond buried his heels into his stallion’s flanks, telling him to fly like the wind. His jaw was set grimly as they left Imladris, hoping they would find Erestor before Galadriel did.

 

Glorfindel, riding close to Haldir, looked over his shoulder and waved at Arwen, knowing she would take excellent care of Indlîrien. Lindir, who was standing next to her, would help her. “We will bring Erestor back with us! I promise!” He hoped he would be able to keep that promise! For Elrond’s sake and Erestor’s!

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

Erestor was unconscious during the first stages of his journey and the only thing that kept him on Tirith’s back was his tight hold on the stallion’s mane. Tirith would stop for short moments to drink and graze, but once his strength had been restored, he broke out into another run, feeling his charge’s urgency to reach Lothlorien as quickly as possible.

 

Hardly aware of what was happening around him, or where he was headed, Erestor managed to open his eyes and stare at his quickly changing surroundings. Only one thought kept him going; he wanted to die near his sons’ tomb. Maybe Celeborn would take pity on him and have his remains placed inside the tomb as well.

 

It was time to make his peace with his past, and his failures.

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

“How can he keep up this pace?” Elrond was frustrated that Glorfindel had ordered a stop. Their horses needed to drink and rest, and Elrond – unable to sit with his loved ones – was pacing furiously.

 

“The strength you gave him is probably enough to keep him on Tirith’s back, holding on for dear life,” said Haldir thoughtfully. “Especially when he thinks you hate him for losing your children.”

 

“I would never blame him for that. I blame Galadriel, the Valar, but not Erestor. Aiya, he needs to know our daughter is alive and well! Why did he have to run?” Elrond finally collapsed, sitting cross-legged in between Elladan and Glorfindel. “I should never have left him alone! What was I thinking?”

 

“You were confused and drained,” offered Glorfindel, “’Tis not your fault.”

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

An hour later, Haldir was the first to rise from the grass. “The horses are rested and we cannot afford to lose more time than we already have. We should leave now.”

 

Elrond jumped to his feet, eager to leave as well. After mounting their horses, the party continued their journey to Lothlorien.

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

Erestor was thirsty, hungry and exhausted by the time he reached Lothlorien’s borders. He had lost count of the days spent on the road, but when he finally saw the Golden Wood, he knew he had reached his final destination.

 

His upper body rested against Tirith’s exhausted body, and yet the stallion still pressed on. Letting his instincts guide him, Tirith ran deeper into the woods, until Erestor’s heel softly pressed into his right flank. Taking the hint, Tirith turned right.

 

Erestor knew he was close to his sons’ tomb now. Only a few more minutes and he could allow himself to fade and finally find some semblance of peace.

 

Although his eyes were at half-mast and closing, he managed to make out the tomb and once they had reached it, he let go of Tirith’s mane, falling hard onto the grass.

 

Concerned for the Elf’s well-being, Tirith buried his nose in Erestor’s neck, but the dark-haired Elf continued to ignore him. In the end, he backed away, sensing his charge’s distress.

 

Erestor crawled closer to the marble tomb until he could rest one hand against the cold stone. “I am… ready… to finally… join you…” His abdomen had turned numb days ago and he curled up in a fetal position, surprised his body still obeyed. He was ready to let go of his miserable life, his hopes, love, and failures. Maybe he would find some peace in the Great Halls of Waiting. Closing his eyes, he let himself drift away.

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

Celeborn, Orophin and Rumil were on their way to the tomb to honor the memory of the stillborn children. Over three thousands years ago, Erestor had suffered his miscarriage this very day. The three Elves had made it a habit to pray to the Valar on this day to express their hopes that they would continue to guide Erestor’s steps and protect him.

 

The three of them had become close since Erestor and Haldir had left for Imladris. The two brothers missed Haldir and Celeborn had tried to offer them some measure of comfort, spending more time in their company.

 

Rumil and Orophin in turn appreciated Celeborn’s concern. But they had also seen the rift between the Lord and the Lady of the Golden Wood. When Galadriel had found out about Celeborn’s decision to send Erestor to Imladris, she had called it betrayal. Celeborn, who’d had enough of her unpredictable behavior, had left their talan, acquiring one for himself.

 

The three of them had begun to visit with each other, or walk the woods at night. They discussed the past, the fact that they missed Haldir and Erestor, and a new bond had formed. They had become good friends. So when Celeborn had joined them to visit the tomb, they had fallen into step beside the elder Elf, walking in silence, which seemed only proper as they were remembering the dead.

 

All three Elves halted in their tracks, catching sight of Tirith. “What is that horse doing here?” asked Celeborn, concerned. Taking the lead, he began to run toward the stallion and he was the first to see Erestor’s crumpled form in front of the tomb. “By the Valar! Nay, not this!” He dropped onto his knees beside Erestor, who had never looked this bad before. The long hair was a tangled mass, the skin deathly white and bones protruded from the skin. “What are you doing here?” Erestor should be safe in Imladris! Especially now that the Elf was pregnant! Alarmed, Celeborn rested his hand on Erestor’s flat abdomen. “Not again!” Had Erestor suffered a second miscarriage and had the loss finally robbed him of his sanity? Driving him back to his sons’ tomb? “Orophin, Rumil! Help me!”

 

The two brothers joined Celeborn and their features contorted, recognizing Erestor, realizing what had obviously happened. A deep sense of loss and protectiveness came over them as they helped Celeborn to pull Erestor into a sitting position.

 

“Did he lose the child? Again?” Rumil already knew the answer, seeing Erestor’s flat abdomen, but he still needed to voice his fears.

 

“I am afraid so.” Celeborn guided Erestor’s head onto his shoulder. “We have to take him into safety. Once Galadriel finds out he is here…” His voice trailed off ominously.

 

“We can take him to our talan,” suggested Orophin, eager to take care of Erestor. “Maybe our presence will keep him from slipping away from us for another three millennia.”

 

“Aye, your suggestion is sound.” Celeborn carefully lifted Erestor’s fragile body in his arms. “Rumil, take care of Tirith. Orophin, you are with me.” He caught the displeased expression in Rumil’s eyes, but hoped the younger Elf would eventually obey. “You can sit with Erestor later, now move!”

 

Rumil obeyed reluctantly, watching Celeborn and Orophin leave with Erestor. He had no idea what had caused Erestor to lose this child and he hoped Elrond wasn’t to blame for Erestor’s current state. But if the half-Elf was, Rumil vowed to keep the Peredhel away from Erestor. /I will ensure Erestor’s safety. He won’t fade or withdraw into himself again. I won’t allow it./ And he was certain that Orophin and Celeborn agreed with him. Together, they would see to Erestor’s safety – and recovery!

 

TBC

 

Beta read by Sulien.

All remaining mistakes are mine.

 

Heart in Chains

Part 34

 

 

Celeborn tucked Erestor into Orophin’s bed after removing the clammy nightshirt. It had rained heavily last night and getting Erestor warm and dry was his first priority. Erestor trembled fiercely, his lips moving but with no sound forthcoming, causing Celeborn’s worries to increase. “I see the mark of death on him.”

 

“We must contact Elrond Half-Elven,” said Orophin in concern, rubbing Erestor’s brow, wishing the dark-haired Elf would warm up now that he was in bed.

 

“I will return to Galadriel’s side,” announced Celeborn with obvious reluctance. “I will keep her distracted. In the meantime I will also dispatch a messenger to Imladris. I need to know what caused Erestor to run back here in such a poor condition.” He didn’t want to leave Erestor’s side, but knew he had to keep Galadriel distracted as he didn’t know how she would react to finding out Erestor was here. “Keep a close eye on him and send for the healers.”

 

Orophin nodded once. “He is in the best hands with me.”

 

“I know that,” said Celeborn firmly. After giving Orophin a reassuring smile, he reluctantly returned to Galadriel, hoping he could keep Erestor hidden until he had sorted out this mess.

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

“Orophin?” Rumil soundlessly advanced on his brother, and smiled, finding Orophin had crawled into bed with Erestor in an obvious effort to warm him. “How does he fare?”

 

“He is as cold as ice,” whispered Orophin in concern. “Join us, maybe your body heat will help.”

 

As Orophin lay spooned behind Erestor, Rumil lay down face to face with the dark-haired Elf. Wrapping his arms around Erestor and partly over Orophin, he created a warm cocoon. “I am afraid this won’t help.”

 

“He needs Elrond to complete the bond,” said Orophin. “By the Valar, if the Peredhel has hurt him and caused him to run away, he will answer to me!” Ever since Erestor had pulled him back from the Great Halls of Mandos, he had felt fiercely protective of the raven-haired Elf. And now that Erestor was so fragile, he desperately wanted to help.

 

“According to Haldir’s last message, Erestor enjoyed his new life in Imladris. Haldir even mentioned Erestor being happy.” Haldir had always stayed in contact with them via letters and they had been glad to learn about Erestor’s happiness. But now, the two brothers felt confused.

 

“Do you think Elrond did something… unforgivable when finding out Erestor had a miscarriage?” suggested Orophin.

 

“Nay, the Peredhel does not know he fathered Erestor’s child. Something else must have caused this. Maybe Erestor overreacted when he lost his child and came here to…”

 

“Die?” finished Orophin for his brother. “It would explain why we found him unconscious next to the tomb.”

 

“He never forgave himself for losing the twins,” whispered Rumil sorrowfully, “’T’was not his fault. If I had not fetched him to help, his sons might have lived.”

 

“Do not torment yourself in this way. It serves no purpose. We will just have to wait for the messenger to return from Imladris, with our without the half-Elf.”

 

“I hope that Elrond will come here and is willing to bond with Erestor. After everything he has been through…” Rumil vividly remembered Erestor’s reaction to losing his twins. “Aiya, Erestor deserves so much better!”

 

Orophin agreed with his brother, but knew they couldn’t force Elrond into a bond with Erestor, but maybe if they revealed the extent of Erestor’s pain, the half-Elf would agree to bind himself to the hurting Elf.

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

Elrond felt invigorated when they finally entered the Golden Wood. His first intention had been to seek out Galadriel and confront her with her past actions, but he had quickly dismissed that idea. First he had to find Erestor and if necessary, help him recover. Looking at Glorfindel, who was riding next to him, he addressed him. “We need to locate Erestor as quickly as possible.”

 

“Maybe I can help,” said Haldir, who now joined them. “My brothers can make inquiries about Erestor’s whereabouts.”

 

“Good, contact them.” Elrond now looked over his shoulder at his sons. “I want you to stay close to me at all times.”

 

The twins nodded gravely. “What about grandmother?”

 

“We will try to avoid her as much as possible… for now.” The last two words came out as a growl. “I will deal with her later. We need to concentrate on Erestor for now.”

 

“And grandfather?” asked Elladan, “From what Glorfindel told us, I gather he is on Erestor’s side.”

 

“Good thinking,” said Elrond, “Glorfindel, find out if Celeborn is willing to help us.” They were running out of time. He had no idea how Erestor had managed to survive so far, but he could sense the bond weakening. “And remember, we have to find Erestor as quickly as possible!” Shifting his gaze from one face to the other, he was reminded of the fact that they cared for Erestor as well, and that they would do their best to help him save his new bond mate.

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

Celeborn released a sigh of relief, finding that Galadriel had left the talan to visit two Elves who had been attacked and severely injured by a Warg that had managed to penetrate their borders. This unexpected event gave him time to consider his next move concerning Erestor. He had already dispatched a messenger, urging Elrond to leave Imladris and to come to Erestor’s aid.

 

“My Lord?” One of the Galadhrim approached, clearing his throat. “You have visitors.”

 

Celeborn raised an eyebrow in puzzlement. “Who is it?” But the Galadhrim didn’t get a chance to answer the question, as Elrond, Glorfindel and the twins were already advancing on him. He started to smile, finding Elrond already in Lothlorien, but that smile froze upon seeing the grim expression in the Peredhel’s eyes. He had known Elrond for millennia and realized the half-Elf was severely distressed.

 

“Celeborn, where is he?” Elrond bared his teeth. “Where is Erestor?” Glorfindel’s hand suddenly came to rest on his shoulder, trying to ground him, but he shook it off. “I know he is here! We followed his tracks and I can sense his presence. It is weak, but I can feel him!”

 

The rage in Elrond’s stormy eyes briefly took Celeborn’s breath away. “You can sense him?” What did that mean?

 

“I do not have the time to discuss this with you!” raged Elrond. “I demand you take me to Erestor!”

 

Glorfindel cleared his throat, knowing from personal experience that it would take Elrond some time to calm down now that he had worked himself in to a temper tantrum. “We know what Erestor did after the battle of the Last Alliance and that he confirmed their bond when Celebrian sailed for Valinor. We also know that Elrond fathered his children and that Erestor bound himself to him. Now we need to find him before he does anything foolish.”

 

“You know?” Celeborn rose from his chair and advanced on Elrond, answering the half-Elf’s glare with one of his own. “What else do you know?” He had to find out where Elrond stood in this matter and what his motives were.

 

“I know he bonded with me to stop me from fading and that he has been caught in this half-life ever since,” sneered Elrond, enraged. “Several days ago, Elladan was brought before me, having suffered a mortal injury and Erestor healed him. That was when I finally understood!”

 

“He healed Elladan…” For that, Celeborn was truly thankful as he loved his grandson, but… “His child… he lost the baby.”

 

“Camfael and I had to open his abdomen for our daughter to be born, but she is well.” Elrond was growing impatient.

 

“The baby survived?” Celeborn felt truly lost now. “Then why did Erestor flee Imladris?” He couldn’t believe that Erestor would desert his daughter!

 

“Aye, Indlîrien is alive and well. Arwen is looking after her, but the baby needs Erestor!” Frustrated, Elrond glowered at Celeborn. “Where is he?”

 

Celeborn swallowed hard. “Do you know that Erestor loves you?”

 

“Yes, and I love him! I even bonded with him to keep him alive after the surgery! That is why I can sense him. You have no right to keep me away from my mate or are you still playing games with me?”

 

Celeborn forced himself to remain calm. “I made mistakes.”

 

“You forced him to bind himself to me! You ordered him into my bed!” raged Elrond. “You never gave him a choice!”

 

“Galadriel assured me that it was the only way to keep you from fading and I believed her, trusted her judgment. I am not saying I do not carry any blame, but—“

 

“Stop it, both of you!” Elladan had had enough. “Ata’da, if you know where we can find Erestor, then take us to him now!”

 

Celeborn nodded his head once. “Rumil and Orophin are looking after him. We found him at his sons’ tomb and he is more dead than alive. Elrond, he will need your strength to survive, for I fear he came here to die.”

 

“Then what are we doing wasting precious time?” Elrond had already started for the doorway when Haldir suddenly appeared.

 

“I know where Erestor is!” announced Haldir.

 

“So do I. In your brothers’ talan. Take us there, Haldir.” Elrond’s eyes burned with fear for Erestor’s well-being, but there was anger as well. “And I am not yet through with you, Celeborn!” Surprised, he noticed that his father in law had fallen into step beside him as they made their way to the brothers’ talan.

 

“You will probably not believe this, but I also worry about Erestor and I greatly care about him. I wish I had made different decisions in the past, and I tried to protect him when I realized he was pregnant again. That is why I sent him to Imladris. I had to get him away from my wife.”

 

Elrond raised an eyebrow inquisitively. “I know Galadriel played a vital part in this, but why did you not stop her?”

 

“I believed it was the right thing to do… at the time. I no longer believe that.” Celeborn’s expression grew saddened. “That is why I have kept Erestor’s presence here a secret.”

 

“What you did was wrong,” mumbled Elrond, growing slightly calmer now that he could sense Erestor’s closeness. “You ordered him into my bed and when I sired his sons I should have been told.”

 

“They died,” whispered Celeborn in a melancholy tone, “And you were still recovering from the High King’s death. We did not dare place this burden on your shoulders.”

 

“So you let Erestor carry his pain alone.” Elrond averted his eyes. “I do not know if I will ever be able to forgive you for that. I had the right to be told.”

 

“In retrospect, I agree, but at the time…” Galadriel’s influence on him had been too strong. “What will you do now?”

 

“I will take Erestor back to Imladris with me. I do not want him to stay here any longer than strictly necessary!” Elrond looked at the talan that Haldir pointed out to him. Apparently they had reached their destination. Turning to his sons, he said, “Wait here. Only Haldir will accompany me.”

 

No one dared to object when Elrond and Haldir climbed the stairs. Celeborn and Glorfindel exchanged worried looks, both Elves hoping Elrond was in time to keep Erestor with them. The twins however, were focused on something else, and it was Elladan who asked Celeborn the question that haunted them. “The tomb that holds our brothers’ remains… Where can we find it?”

 

“I will take you there,” offered Celeborn, deeply regretting never telling Elrond. “Glorfindel?”

 

“I will stay here and wait for them to return.” He would also make sure no one disturbed Elrond and Erestor.

 

Celeborn signaled for his grandsons to follow him, as he led them to the marble tomb.

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

Standing in front of the tomb, Elladan and Elrohir wrapped an arm around each other’s waist. “’Tis hard to believe that we could have had brothers. Older brothers.” He ignored the fact that they would have been half-brothers.

 

“Erestor mourned the loss for nearly three thousand years,” said Celeborn thoughtfully. “When he looked upon the two of you, he must have been reminded of his sons, for they would have bore you a great resemblance.” He moistened his lips, hoping he wasn’t making this worse. “You do understand that he probably looks upon you as his sons? That he wants to love you and care for you?”

 

The twins paled, recalling the first time they had met Erestor. “And we hurt him with our words instead.” Seeing Celeborn’s sudden distressed expression, Elladan sighed deeply. “We regret our actions. We spoke out because we were hurting inside and thought our father had already picked a replacement for our mother. We could not accept that.”

 

“But now you know that Erestor has been bound to your father for millennia. Has that fact changed your mind?”

 

“It has,” admitted Elrohir, staring at the small tomb. “Father wants to take Erestor back to Imladris as quickly as possible and it will rob Erestor of the possibility to visit here.” His gaze locked with Elladan’s. “Maybe there is a way to take this tomb with us? It is not that large and we might be able to take it home with us. For some reason I feel that they should find their final resting place in Imladris, and not the Golden Wood.”

 

Elladan, who at first had been surprised, began to understand. These babies had been Elrond’s offspring and should rest in Imladris’ soil, not in the Golden Wood where Erestor had suffered so much misery. “You are right, but we should ask father and Erestor first.”

 

Celeborn had listened to them in silence and now spoke up. “I would like to travel to Imladris myself and meet my new granddaughter.” He looked upon Elrond and Erestor as his sons and that made Indlîrien family.

 

“Then come with us,” said Elladan passionately. “I am sure father and you can work out the differences you have.”

 

“I accept,” said Celeborn firmly. He needed time away from his wife and this way he could stay close to Erestor and meet Indlîrien. Aye, he would leave Lothlorien for now and focus on helping Erestor heal.

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

“Let me enter first,” suggested Haldir. “I know how protective my brothers are when it comes to Erestor and seeing you unexpectedly might trigger their instincts.”

 

“But I will be right behind you!” Elrond could feel Erestor slip further away from him and he had to share his life energy with his mate now if Erestor was to stay alive.

 

Haldir nodded, opened the door and stepped inside. Surprised yelps echoed from within the talan and Haldir smiled broadly, seeing the situation his brothers and Erestor were in. “Keeping him warm, are you?”

 

At seeing Haldir this unexpectedly, Orophin moved away from Erestor, left the bed and tucked the blanket around his charge’s form, knowing instinctively that Rumil would stay close to the dark-haired Elf. “Haldir, it is good to see you!” He was walking toward Haldir when he caught sight of Elrond, who now stepped into the talan as well.

 

Orophin’s reaction took Elrond aback. The silver-haired sentry actually growled at him! “Peace! I am here to help!” Haldir had warned him of his brothers’ protectiveness toward Erestor and approached the sentry *slowly*. He had already caught sight of Erestor asleep in the bed, but he had also seen the violent tremors that rocked his mate’s body and the moving, yet silent lips.

 

“You!” Orophin finally released his anger, which had been pent up for millennia. “What did you do to cause him to run away from Imladris? Do you have any idea what state he was in when we found him? And he is not getting any better!”

 

Elrond reminded himself that Orophin was acting in this way because the sentry was worried for Erestor. “Erestor nearly died when he gave birth to our daughter. I bonded with him, but he never realized what happened and left.”

 

“You bonded with him?” Orophin studied Elrond, and found that the half-Elf’s eyes remained trained on Erestor’s form.

 

“Aye, I did. He might have died after the birth otherwise. I am here to take him back to Imladris so he can be with our daughter.” Elrond hoped Orophin would step aside. The look Rumil was giving him was rather hard to read. Erestor was truly blessed with such fierce protectors.

 

“The child is alive?” Rumil, who had been quiet up until now, felt overjoyed at hearing this news.

 

“Aye, Indlîrien is a treasure and she has already found a place in my heart,” said Elrond sincerely. “Please, let me attend to Erestor’s needs. He is cold and continues to grow weaker. Let me hold him and share my life energy with him… Please.” He had seldom begged anyone before but he would do anything to get access to Erestor.

 

Rumil exchanged a glance with Haldir. “Are the things he told us true?”

 

“Your protective feelings for Erestor do you credit, but Elrond speaks the truth. They bonded and are very much in love.” Haldir smiled reassuringly, placing a hand on Orophin’s shoulder. “We should give them some privacy.”

 

Rumil sighed deeply, regretting having to release his hold on Erestor. “He is still cold.”

 

Elrond, realizing they had given in, approached the bed. He looked deeply into Rumil’s eyes, and said, “I will warm him up, keep him safe and take care of him. I promise.”

 

Rumil nodded once and then joined his brothers. “I hope you will keep your word, for if you do not, you *will* answer to us.”

 

Elrond knew they were being sincere. They had adopted Erestor and the dark-haired Elf was part of their family. /Which means I will probably have to ask Rumil and Orophin to travel to Imladris with us. If Erestor is really so attached to them, I want all three of them in Imladris./

 

“Come with me,” said Haldir, guiding his brothers outside. “Elrond needs to attend to Erestor and he should do that in privacy.”

 

Once outside, Rumil kicked the tree, mentally apologizing when the mallorn tree protested. “I do not want to let him out of my sight, Haldir. He is so vulnerable.”

 

“But none of it is Elrond’s fault,” soothed Haldir, “Let us find a quiet spot and then I will tell you what happened before Erestor left Imladris.” Once his brothers understood that Erestor had overreacted, they might treat Elrond in a friendlier way.

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

Elrond removed his boots, leggings, cloak and shirt, but left on the loincloth, not wanting Erestor to draw the wrong conclusion should the Elf wake up unexpectedly in his arms. Quickly, he slipped between the covers, bringing their bodies into close contact. After wrapping his arms and legs around Erestor’s body, he guided the other Elf’s arms around his waist. Satisfied that they were as close as they could possibly be, he ran his fingers through the tangled mane, guiding Erestor’s head onto his shoulder.

 

“I have you now, love, and I am never going to let go again, but you have to stop running away from me. I mean you no harm. I gather that you thought you had lost our daughter and came here to die. That is not acceptable. I understand that you have been hurt beyond words during these last few millennia, but I promise you that things will change for the better. You are with me now and I vow to make you happy.”

 

Whilst he had been speaking, his energy had begun to flow into Erestor’s fëa and body. The energy transfer weakened him, but he gave as much as he could spare. Awed, he found that the color had returned to Erestor’s face and the tremors were fading away. Erestor was obviously growing stronger. “Accept my love for you, and my closeness.” Elrond pressed a chaste kiss onto Erestor’s lips. “Once you feel strong enough to travel, I will take you back to Imladris with me. Your daughter needs you.”

 

Erestor moaned against him and Elrond held his breath in anticipation, but the dark-haired Elf didn’t wake up. “You can sense my presence. You know I am here. Aiya, Erestor, my heart threatened to break in two when I realized you had left. I was so afraid that I would find you dead on the road.” Rubbing soothing circles on Erestor’s back, he briefly closed his eyes, finally allowing himself to believe that he had reclaimed his mate. “I have you now.”

 

Erestor moved closer and Elrond instinctively tightened his hold on his mate. “I talked to Celeborn,” he said, pretending Erestor was awake. Maybe hearing his voice would urge Erestor to wake up. “And he is trying to keep you safe, but we cannot stay here for long. You have to wake up for me, my love.”

 

But Erestor didn’t have any intentions of waking up yet. He was finally beginning to feel warm and stronger. All he wanted was to remain asleep and cherish this sensation. In his current state he could even pretend Elrond was with him, holding him. But the half-Elf would never hold him again. Elrond hated him for losing his children. Maybe the Peredhel would have forgiven him for losing his daughter, as he had saved Elladan’s life instead, but would Elrond also forgive him for losing his heirs? He doubted it. He had made too many mistakes.

 

“Erestor? Wake up for me. I know you are returning to consciousness again. I can feel it.” Elrond continued to caress Erestor’s back and hair, praying to the Valar that his mate wouldn’t retreat into himself like Erestor had done after losing the twins. Not when he was here to support his lover and help Erestor recover.

 

Wondering why he was hearing Elrond’s soothing voice, Erestor hung on to this state between waking and sleep, unwilling to face reality just yet. /Why am I still alive? Why won’t I die?/

 

Elrond sensed Erestor’s somber thoughts and acted at once. “There is no reason to be this gloomy. Our daughter is well and awaiting your return. Why are you so unwilling to return to me? Do you not know how much I love you?”

 

/Love me?/ Erestor felt confused, hearing Elrond’s words. /Why would he say that?/ Yes, it was true; there had been a growing affection between them, but it had died with his daughter. /I must be dreaming. Maybe Nienna took pity on me and gave me this comforting dream./

 

“Erestor, I know you can hear me!” Elrond was growing frustrated. Lifting the blanket, he quickly checked the wound, finding the bandages gone and the wound healing. There was no sign of infection and the wound wasn’t responsible for Erestor’s continuing catatonia. “Come back to me, now!” Elrond placed every ounce of his authority, love and need in those words, hoping his voice would finally register with Erestor as real.

 

Erestor’s eyes opened in shock and grew wide, suddenly understanding that Elrond was here, holding and soothing him. Alarmed, he stared into the stormy gray eyes and he prayed to Nienna to grant him the strength to deal with the half-Elf’s wrath after having lost their daughter.

 

TBC

 

Beta read by Sulien.

All remaining mistakes are mine.

 

Heart in Chains

Part 35

 

 

“El… r-rond?” Stuttering, Erestor’s first reaction was to pull away from the half-Elf, but he quickly realized that Elrond had a tight hold on him. There was no way to get away from the Peredhel. Big-eyed, he stared at Elrond in obvious fear.

 

Finding fear in Erestor’s doe-like eyes startled Elrond. What had he done to put it there? “Erestor? Please calm yourself, I mean you no harm. I can sense your fear, but I have no idea why you feel you need to fear me.”

 

Erestor closed his eyes, unable to look at the half-Elf now that he had failed him again. “I am-m sorry…”

 

“What for?” Elrond felt frustrated, feeling the tremors return to Erestor’s body. “There is nothing you need to be sorry for!”

 

“Our-r d-dau… daughter-r…” Erestor pinched his eyes tightly shut, as he didn’t want to see the disgust on Elrond’s face. “My f-fault-t she…

d-d-died.”

 

Elrond couldn’t help it; he released a relieved sigh. “Our daughter is alive and well! She did not die!” He placed his hands on Erestor’s shoulders, shaking the other Elf weakly. “Indlîrien is in the best hands with Arwen and Lindir. I would have brought her here, but she is too young to travel.”

 

Erestor stared at Elrond in sheer disbelief. “A… ali…ve?” He couldn’t believe that! “But-t…”

 

“You lost consciousness when you healed Elladan, but Camfael and I delivered the baby within the hour. Even Elrohir helped.” Feeling proud of Erestor, he kissed the other’s clammy brow. “Haldir was the most upset, as he was afraid history would repeat itself, and pulled you away from Elladan.”

 

“She… is-s… alive? She… did… n-not-t die?” How was that possible? Suddenly he became aware of Elrond’s hands, which soothingly rubbed his back and stroked his hair. And what had Elrond called her? “Indlîrien?”

 

“I wanted you to name her, but as you were unconscious I had to choose a name instead. If you do not like it, we can still change—“

 

“No, I like it!” said Erestor quickly, daring to believe Elrond. “You are being honest with me? She is alive?”

 

“I would never lie to you,” said Elrond firmly. “I know you assumed she had died, finding no cradle in your room and no baby in your arms, but she was so small, so tiny… we had to warm her up and…”

 

“I…” Lost for words, Erestor stared at the half-Elf.

 

Elrond realized he would have to do most of the talking. “I know about the twins, love.” Elrond wasn’t prepared for the keening wail Erestor released when he addressed the subject of their sons. “I am furious with Galadriel and Celeborn for not telling me! I deserved to know that you were pregnant with my heirs!”

 

“I did n-ot-t want-t to lose them-m… Please… be…lieve m-me… But Te… Telu… I did not… have a choice…” Erestor was shaking like a leaf in Elrond’s arms. “For…gi-forgive me…”

 

“Oh, Erestor!” Elrond sighed, distressed because Erestor was distressed. “That was not your fault. Haldir told me what happened. They did not give you a choice, as you just said yourself. Believe me, there is nothing to forgive.” Erestor’s big eyes stared at him in disbelief. “I am sincere, my love. I am sad – mostly furious though – that they did not survive, but I would never blame it on you!”

 

“I even made plans… to have them smuggled… to Imladris… I thought that maybe Camfael… would do it, but then they… d-died-d.” Elrond’s fingers suddenly entwined with his and squeezed gently, obviously in an effort to reassure him. “I… wanted to tell you… I really did, but I was afraid of what… Galadriel… would do.”

 

“You will never have to live in fear of her ever again.” Elrond gently claimed Erestor’s lips, desperate to confirm this bond between them, which reminded him… “Uh, Erestor? Do you remember what happened after the surgery?”

 

Erestor blinked once, twice, and then shook his head. “I do not.”

 

“I bound myself to you,” said Elrond, smiling brilliantly. “I finally took that step.”

 

Erestor involuntarily sucked in his breath. “You did what?” Focusing inwardly, he found Elrond’s words true. A new dimension had been added to their connection and he could feel the half-Elf strengthening him. “Why?” Why would Elrond do that?

 

“Because I love you!” Elrond’s frustration was mounting. “Why won’t you understand? I love you! I love our daughter and I want this bond to be complete. You have strengthened me for so many millennia! I want you to feel whole again.” He smiled. “Not to mention the fact that we are now married, Erestor. You are my official mate.”

 

“How can you… forgive me for losing your heirs? For manipulating you all these years?”

 

“Because I know they forced you into binding yourself to me,” started Elrond, “But I also know it became more throughout the years. Do you have any idea how many nights I dreamt of my mysterious savior and wished he would return to me? That last time you came to me in Lothlorien, I did not drink the sleeping potion Galadriel was feeding me, and I saw you, really saw you for the first time.”

 

Erestor clung to Elrond’s every word, his hopes suddenly coming true. But he was still too afraid to believe Elrond really loved him.

 

“I ordered Glorfindel to find out your identity and to bring you to me, but you proved elusive. When I left Lothlorien my heart was heavy and I placed my spies there, intent on finding you. I was so blind when you arrived in Imladris. I should have realized it was you when an unexpected touch of mine triggered a small energy transfer.” Elrond’s mouth was going dry, but he couldn’t stop now. “When Haldir told me everything about you, my heart bled, realizing how many dreadful things had happened to you, beginning with Orophin drawing the wrong conclusion that day.” He unexpectedly grinned at Erestor. “You helped my mother to look after me.”

 

“Aye, I did,” mumbled Erestor, blushing shyly. “You were a really lovely child. It was Elros who always got you into trouble.”

 

“Tell me more.”

 

Erestor swallowed hard, trying to please Elrond. “You once threw mud into my face… and you always needed your dolphin close. It was the only animal that could defeat Elros’ octopus.”

 

“Hence the request for the nursery to resemble the Havens of Sirion,” said Elrond in understanding, running his thumb along Erestor’s jaw line.

 

“Aye, and one night… one night you climbed into bed with me. Your father found us that way and told me Elros had snuggled up to his wife. He also told me that, if I did not think you trouble, I should let you sleep in my arms that night.”

 

Memories were triggered and Elrond began to remember more vividly. “He gave me a seashell…”

 

“And you fell asleep listening to it.” Erestor nervously licked his lips. “The day of the attack was one of the worst in my life. Your mother had sent me to the haven to buy some fish and the attack happened when I was on my way back. I found Rhoss bleeding to death and knew I had to keep the knife in place until I could work my healing powers on him. That was when Orophin came upon us.”

 

Elrond studied Erestor’s swimming eyes. “Galadriel and Celeborn sentenced you to lifelong imprisonment for something you did not do.”

 

“I tried to tell them,” whispered Erestor, lost in memories, “but they refused to listen. After binding myself to you, Celeborn realized he had erred and tried to help me, but Galadriel, she hurt me the most. The things she said…” His voice trailed off, not wanting to relive those horrid moments.

 

Elrond knew what Erestor was hinting at and his anger returned. “She called our sons bastards.” He hated the way Erestor flinched in his arms and wished he hadn’t said that. “I will confront her with that fact.”

 

“You had better not do that,” said Erestor pleadingly, “She hates me and the last thing she wants is for you to be with me.”

 

“Well, she will have to accept this -- us -- as we are bound to one another!”

 

Erestor, whose throat felt awfully dry, asked, “Can I have some water?”

Looking about in search for a drink, Elrond found a glass filled with water on the floor and helped Erestor to empty it.

 

“What will happen now?” asked Erestor, settling against the half-Elf’s body again.

 

“I will take you home to meet our daughter and I will pamper you for the rest of your life!”

 

Erestor chuckled lightly at hearing that. “You will grow tired of me.”

 

“I won’t!” Elrond was delighted, realizing Erestor was teasing him mildly. “I love you too much to grow tired of you!”

 

“And… Elladan and Elrohir? Will they accept this?” Erestor looked up from where his head rested on Elrond’s chest. “They hate me.”

 

“They do not hate you. Their hate was aimed at themselves and they finally realized that. When Elrohir was rocking Indlîrien, I saw the beginning of brotherly love in his eyes.” Elrond traced Erestor’s right eyebrow with his thumb. “Let me take you home, melamin, and allow me to make you – and our daughter – happy.”

 

“I always wanted to hear you say that,” said Erestor, blushing fiercely.

 

“Do you accept my offer?” Elrond gave his mate a brilliant smile.

 

Erestor knew it was the sensible thing to do and he did want this. “I accept,” whispered he shyly. “I hope I can make you happy in turn.”

 

“You have already done that by giving me such a beautiful daughter.” Elrond brushed his lips against Erestor’s. “She has your lips and nose, love.”

 

Erestor’s blush deepened. “I cannot believe that this is really happening. I dreamt of your love for so long.”

 

“And now you have it.”

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

Celeborn and the twins joined Glorfindel, who still stood guard near the stairs to the talan. “Have you heard anything yet?” Celeborn was worried for Erestor’s well-being. He did believe Elrond meant well, but he also knew Erestor tended to misunderstand good intentions.

 

“Nothing yet,” said Glorfindel, feeling miserable. But his mood brightened, seeing Haldir and his brothers approach. Briefly, he wondered if Rumil and Orophin knew of his marriage to Haldir. It certainly wasn’t his place to tell them. Haldir should do that. Haldir then surprised him by possessively claiming his lips and wrapping his tongue around his. Glorfindel moaned in surprise and caught the cheerful laughter that erupted from the two brothers. /I can safely assume they know,/ he thought dryly.

 

“Glorfindel,” said Haldir, pulling back. “I do not think you were ever properly introduced to your brothers in law. This is Orophin, the youngest of the three of us.”

 

“You have no idea how many times I had to hear that,” said Orophin, groaning.

 

“And this is Rumil.” Haldir smiled at his brothers. “I greatly missed you two during my time in Imladris.”

 

”We are glad to be reunited with you,” replied Rumil, “Even if it is only for such a short time.”

 

Celeborn smiled at the three of them, wondering how they had ever survived being apart. “All three of them are Erestor’s ‘protectors’,” he said proudly, looking at Glorfindel and then his grandsons. “And Elbereth knows that he needed them.”

 

“When we found Erestor near the tomb, we assumed the worst,” said Orophin, his eyes still carrying a hint of tears. “We thought that he had suffered another miscarriage and had come here to die.”

 

“That *is* what Erestor thought,” confirmed Haldir.

 

“But when we heard that Indlîrien was alive and faring well, we were overjoyed.” Orophin smiled happily.

 

“Maybe we should take some food to them?” suggested Celeborn. “It seems quite useless to stand here all day long. Let me arrange for guest quarters close to this talan. Orophin? I think you and your bothers will need to stay elsewhere for the time being. I doubt Elrond will want to share Erestor with the three of you.”

 

The three brothers nodded; they didn’t care about losing their talan to Elrond and Erestor. They were much too happy that Erestor’s daughter was alive.

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

Elladan and Elrohir demanded that they should take the tray of food to their father and Erestor. At first, Haldir had wanted to do this, but they had pleaded with the guardian to give them a chance to talk to Erestor. They still felt guilty for the way they had treated the pregnant Elf and needed to talk things through with him. In the end, Haldir had relented.

 

Elladan knocked, whilst Elrohir carefully balanced the tray. They briefly exchanged looks, hoping the upcoming conversation would go well and ease the minds of all parties involved.

 

“Enter.”

 

Recognizing their father’s voice, Elladan opened the door and then stepped aside to let his twin enter. As he was looking at Elrond and Erestor, who were cuddled up to one another in the bed, he immediately noticed the alarmed look in Erestor’s eyes. “Peace, we bring you dinner.”

 

Erestor, realizing Elladan had addressed him specifically, looked questioningly at Elrond, and then began to pull away, trying to distance himself, as he didn’t want the twins to grow irritated with finding them in this way.

 

Elladan finally fully understood the hurt his brother and he had inflicted and sat down on the floor, next to Erestor’s bedside. Elrohir placed the tray on the bed and then occupied the only chair in the small bedroom. The twins spoke up simultaneously, as if with one voice. “We owe you an apology, Erestor.”

 

Elrond smiled, pleased, hearing his sons say that. He had hoped they would put their hatred behind them and look toward the future instead.

 

Erestor blinked in surprise. “An apology?” That was the last thing he had expected to hear!

 

“For a lot of things,” said Elrohir, taking the lead as he often did, “But foremost for addressing you in such an unbecoming manner the first time we met. We had no right to address you like that.”

 

Erestor shrugged his shoulders once. “Everything you said was true. Your father did bed me and sire my child.” Unable to meet their gray eyes any longer, he averted his. “You have every reason to dislike me.”

 

“Maybe,” said Elrohir thoughtfully, “But we did not have the right to judge you.” He cleared his throat, uncertain if he should address this matter. “We visited the tomb with our grandfather, and while we were standing there we began to realize how much you had lost.”

 

Tears swam in Erestor’s eyes, and as they were closed, they erupted from beneath the closed eyelids. “I imagined they would have looked like the two of you.” His voice took on a distant tone. “The first time I saw the two of you, I knew my sons would have looked like you and I wanted to get to know you to...” Unable to finish, he sobbed softly, embarrassed to show his hurt so openly.

 

Elladan rose from the floor and sat down on the side of the bed. “Erestor?” Elrohir followed his brother’s lead and came to stand behind Elladan, resting his hands on his twin’s shoulders. “Erestor, look at us?”

 

Erestor reluctantly opened his swimming eyes. Looking at them only worsened his pain.

 

“All this is rather unexpected,” started Elladan in a soft voice, “And we did not realize how ‘special’ we are to you until we stood near that tomb.” His twin squeezed his shoulder, telling him to continue. “We wanted to tell you that we will never willingly hurt you again and if… if you would like to do so, you can fuss over us.”

 

“What my dear brother is trying to say,” said Elrohir, taking over, “is that we accept you into this family.”

 

Elrond had never felt more proud of his sons and gave them a grateful smile. “You have no idea how much this means to me – us.”

 

Looking into Erestor’s chocolate brown eyes, Elladan said, “I think we do, Adar.” Erestor’s pain had become real when they had stood near that tomb, realizing the sacrifices Erestor had made so their father could live. Slowly, making sure Erestor saw what he was doing, he placed his hand on the skeleton like fingers. “And now eat. You are too skinny.”

 

“That is Rumil’s line,” said Erestor, breathlessly. It would take him time to accept that the twins wanted him to be part of their family, but he would do his best to never let them down.

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

Rumil had climbed the branches of the neighboring tree in order to check on Elrond and Erestor, ignoring the mallorn’s protests at being exploited in such a way. It was the dead of night, and yet Elrond and Erestor remained locked away in their talan. That had piqued Rumil’s curiosity. “Stop making such noise! You will give us away!”

 

Orophin mumbled softly. “This was your idea, dear brother! Haldir told us they were fine and we should take his word on that!”

 

“I need to see for myself. When we found Erestor he was dying. I need to know he is improving.”

 

“With his bonded mate at his side, he should recover quickly!” Orophin cursed his brother when part of a branch snapped loose. “Look out! You have the grace of an Orc!”

 

Rumil had finally reached the right spot to peek inside. A smile spread over his face, finding that Elrond was holding Erestor close, both peacefully asleep. “Erestor is fine.”

 

“Would the two of you now come down and stop upsetting the trees and animals?” Celeborn looked up into the tree, smiling at them. At times, they reminded him of mischievous Elflings.

 

Rumil, being the quickest to react, climbed down and let himself drop onto the ground. “We had to make sure—“

 

“I know, but leave them be now. Off with you.” Celeborn watched Rumil walk away with a happy smile on his face. “Same goes for you, Orophin.”

Orophin had doubtlessly become very dear to him. There was something about the younger Elf that touched his heart. /And I locked these emotions away when I started to feel them for the first time./ It was a road he couldn’t walk, even if he wanted to. He was bound to Galadriel. Unexpectedly, the branch, which Orophin was standing on, snapped and the sentry’s breath was knocked out of him as he began to fall toward the ground.

 

Celeborn reacted instinctively, moved closer and managed to break Orophin’s fall. Both Elves lay panting on the ground, but Celeborn was the first to catch his breath again. “You always were trouble, Orophin.” He recalled a time when Orophin had been an Elfling, crawling behind Haldir and falling into a large pool of mud. He had resembled an Orc after that and his brothers had teased him mercilessly. The poor Elfling hadn’t understood what he had done wrong and had come running to him for comfort, which he had of course given. Over the next few millennia, he had continued to grow fonder of Orophin and he had locked that attraction away even deeper.

 

“”Tis a good thing I am not mortal,” mused Orophin, pushing himself to his feet again. Offering Celeborn his hand, he wriggled an eyebrow. “May I help you back to your feet, my Lord?”

 

Celeborn snorted, but accepted the help. Orophin’s hand felt warm in his and he held it longer than was strictly necessary. “Join your bothers, you rascal, and make sure I do not catch you spying on Elrond and Erestor again.”

 

Orophin smiled, wondering why the Lord of the Golden Wood was still holding his hand. Was it just his imagination or was Celeborn gently rubbing his knuckles? /I did not fall on my head, now did I?/

 

Growing aware of the caress he was bestowing on the other’s hand, Celeborn released the limb as if bitten by a snake. “Off with you, then.”

 

“Are you sure you want to send me away?” Orophin had seen Celeborn’s loneliness grow stronger over the centuries. Although Galadriel and Celeborn were still bound, there was no longer any attraction or love between them. They even lived separately. “Maybe we could go for a walk?” They had done so before, but usually accompanied by Rumil.

 

Celeborn hesitated to accept, but in the end he gave in, craving the other’s company. “Aye, we will go for a nightly walk then.” Pushing his attraction aside, he hoped he wouldn’t give himself away now that he would be alone with Orophin.

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

Rumil was whistling softly when he closed the door behind him, finding Glorfindel and Haldir caught up in a game of chess. The two Elves sat wrapped up beneath a blanket, studying the board intensely.

 

Orophin and he had known that Haldir had proposed to Glorfindel and that the legendary Balrog Slayer had accepted because their elder brother had told him in one of his letters. They had regretted being unable to congratulate him in person and now that he saw them sitting that comfortably, he could easily tell they were happy.

 

“How do Elrond and Erestor fare?” asked Haldir, without looking up from the game. Ithil’s rays were weak tonight, but offered just enough light to play without straining their eyes.

 

“They were sound asleep in each other’s arms!” Rumil removed his boots, leggings and shirt and slipped into the bed.

 

“Uhm? Haldir? What is Rumil doing in our bed?” Glorfindel arched an eyebrow.

 

Haldir laughed softly. “’Tis a habit of ours,” explained Haldir, “to sleep in the same bed whenever we can.”

 

Glorfindel pouted. “I gather that means I have to behave tonight and won’t get to ravage you?”

 

“Ah, by the Valar, behave!” Rumil pulled the blanket over his head, enjoying teasing them immensely. “The bed is big enough for the four of us, if the two of you do not move about too much!”

 

“The four of us?” Glorfindel stared pleadingly at his husband.

 

“Orophin might join us later,” explained Haldir. “But judging by the way this game of chess is going they can have the bed to themselves.” It would take them a few more hours to decide this game.

 

Glorfindel sighed, wishing he was back in Imladris where he didn’t have to share his bed with Haldir’s brothers.

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

“Are you comfortable?” whispered Elrond, still half asleep, but Erestor had been moving about in his arms, and he had to make sure his lover was well.

 

“I want to hold my daughter in my arms,” admitted Erestor in a hoarse tone. “I think I dreamt of her.”

 

“You will hold her soon enough.” Elrond placed a kiss on his lover’s raven hair. “Maybe – provided you have recovered sufficiently – we can start our journey home tomorrow, or the day after tomorrow.”

 

“I would like that.” Erestor lifted his eyes and met Elrond’s gaze. “I already feel better.”

 

Elrond knew Erestor’s recovery had everything to do with the fact that he was sharing his life energy with his lover. “You do realize that everything will change once we are back in Imladris? No more hiding in the library or my study. I want you to take your rightful place at my side.”

 

“I will do my best,” promised Erestor, “but I do not know how to do that.”

 

That promise was more than enough for Elrond, who suspected Erestor would steal a few more hearts once the Elf came out of his shell. “You have so much to give, and now you can do it because you choose to do it, not because someone is forcing you into doing it. And you will receive so much in return. You already have my love and undying dedication.”

 

Erestor blushed fiercely, resting his head back onto Elrond’s chest. “I have never been this happy before.”

 

“And the best thing is that it will be like this for the rest of your life.” Elrond would see to that personally.

 

TBC

 

Beta read by Sulien.

All remaining mistakes are mine.

 

Heart in Chains

Part 36

 

 

“I advise against confronting Galadriel head on,” said Celeborn, who had seated himself and was watching Elrond pace. Erestor was in the adjoining room, enjoying a refreshing bath. He had chosen this moment to address the matter, because Erestor couldn’t hear them right now.

 

Elrond shook his head. “I really want to tell her what I think of her actions.” The anger he felt demanded to be acknowledged and needed a way out. “What she did was wrong!”

 

Celeborn sighed. “I have tried to reason with her, but she is stubborn. At times, I wonder what happened to make her this… cold. She was not like that when we got married.” Those had been much happier times.

 

Elrond drew in a deep breath. “Celeborn, I plan on leaving Lothlorien this very evening. Erestor is strong enough to travel short distances and we will rest regularly. But… I want to visit my sons’ tomb first.”

 

Celeborn nodded in understanding. “Elladan and Elrohir actually made a bold, but logical suggestion.” Seeing Elrond’s arched eyebrow, he explained, “Shortly, they will ask your permission to move the tomb to Imladris. That way Erestor can still go to the tomb to mourn and the children’s remains would not stay here in Lothlorien where Erestor has suffered so much.”

 

Before Elrond had the chance to express his opinion in this matter, Erestor answered for him. “I think it is a good idea.”

 

Erestor, clothed in a warm shirt, green leggings and leather boots joined them. His hair was damp and he still looked fragile, but it was obvious he was growing stronger again. He certainly felt strong enough to take part in this conversation. “I would love to take them to Imladris, but… is that not too much work?” His big eyes settled on Elrond, hoping the half-Elf would do this for him.

 

“We will manage,” said Elrond reassuringly. “And now come here.” Once Erestor came to a stand still beside him, he wrapped an arm protectively around his lover’s waist. “Do you want to visit the tomb now or later?”

 

“Now.” Erestor knew Elrond wanted to leave after that visit and he was eager to return to Imladris, where his daughter was waiting for him.

 

Elrond wrapped a warm cloak around Erestor’s form. He was a bit hesitant to venture out with Erestor, pondering if they needed some sort of escort in case they ran in to Galadriel by accident.

 

“I will accompany you,” said Celeborn, sensing Elrond’s discomfort. “Haldir and Glorfindel are waiting at the foot of the talan to escort us.” Dotingly, he looked at Erestor. “Do you even know how many friends you have?”

 

“I am beginning to understand and accept that,” whispered Erestor, pleased when Elrond regained a tight hold on him and walked him to the stairs.

 

Elrond was putting up a brave front, knowing he had to be strong for Erestor’s sake, but on the inside he was shaky and even slightly afraid, uncertain what emotions would surface once he stood in front of his sons’ tomb.

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

Elrond’s eyes filled with tears, standing in front of the white marble tomb. It was much smaller than he had thought it would be, but his emotions still raged, realizing these would have been his firstborn sons, had they survived. Suddenly, Erestor’s arm wrapped around his waist in turn, pulling him close. “You had over three millennia to mourn the loss, but I…” It was sudden, even though he had expected to feel like this.

 

“I understand, my love.” Erestor had never called Elrond his beloved before, but now he had to offer all the comfort he possibly could. “If I had been the one to decide, I would have told you.”

 

“But Galadriel decided you were not to know,” said Celeborn in a sad tone.

 

Haldir and Glorfindel were now joined by Rumil and Orophin and the four of them remained at a respectful distance, allowing the parents to mourn.

 

“I still do not understand why she is so vicious,” mumbled Erestor thoughtfully. “I never wronged her.”

 

“Aiya, but you did.”

 

Galadriel’s sharp voice sent shivers of ice down Erestor’s spine and he instinctively leaned in closer to Elrond, who instantly tightened his hold. No, he wasn’t ready to face her, not here, not now!

 

Galadriel emerged from behind a mallorn tree and seemed to float toward them in her terrible majesty. Her narrowed eyes revealed her alertness and the lips resembled a strained, thin line. Although her posture radiated control and superiority, the expression in her eyes gave away her emotions.

 

Glorfindel and the three brothers hurried closer, ready to defend Erestor – and Elrond – if necessary, but they stopped in their tracks when Celeborn raised a hand. Apparently Celeborn wanted to deal with his wife himself.

 

“Galadriel,” started Celeborn, his voice tense and strained, “I did not expect you to return so quickly.”

 

“Do you really think that I did not know Erestor had returned to the Golden Wood?” Her melodic voice sounded oddly hollow. “The mirror showed me.”

 

“You do not have the right to be here,” sneered Elrond, enraged. “We came here to mourn our sons’ deaths and you are disturbing that sacred moment.”

 

“Your sons?” Galadriel cocked her head. “Elrond, the only sons you have are the ones my daughter gave you.”

 

Elladan and Elrohir, who had been searching for Elrond and Erestor after finding the talan empty, had now sighted them and joined them, listening to their grandmother with mounting disbelief.

 

Galadriel saw their arrival, but focused her attention on Elrond.

 

“These would have been my firstborn sons, had they lived! But you decided to keep this from me! Why?” Elrond wanted answers and he wanted them now!

 

“Celebrian is your only true mate, not Erestor.” Galadriel did not approach the half-Elf, seeing the fury in Elrond’s eyes. “It has vexed me for millennia that I had to bind him to you, but you had to survive, as you were destined to wed my daughter.”

 

“You used Erestor!” Elrond shook his head in sheer disbelief.

 

“Yes, I used him as a means to achieve my goal,” admitted Galadriel in an emotionless tone. “I wished I had been able to cut him out of your life completely, Elrond, but you needed his life energy. Yet that half-bond always kept you from fully loving my daughter.”

 

“Is this about Celebrian?” Elrond’s mouth was slightly agape with confusion.

 

Celeborn unexpectedly spoke up. “Aye, it is about Celebrian, and at the same time about so much more.”

 

Galadriel gave her husband a sneering look. “Speak your mind, Celeborn.”

 

“You needed Elrond strong because he has an important role to play on Middle-Earth and only such an important figure was good enough to marry our daughter. You always wanted what was best for Celebrian, but you never asked her if she wanted to marry Elrond. You made her.”

 

“She followed when I revealed her destiny to her, just like you did, Celeborn.” Galadriel’s eyes took on an icy expression as she looked upon her husband. “That Erestor became pregnant was unexpected and unwelcome. If he had not lost his children in this way, I would have made sure they would not live. They would have strengthened his bond with Elrond, and eventually, Elrond would have learned of their existence, making it impossible for Celebrian to marry him.”

 

Erestor had frozen against Elrond, learning she would have taken his sons’ lives if they had lived, and he whimpered softly.

 

“I could not change the fact that Elrond had fathered Erestor’s children, but I would make sure they presented no threat to Celebrian’s future and her marriage to Elrond.” Galadriel sensed their anger but felt righteous, as she had done what had been necessary to ensure her daughter’s happiness. But she had been too late to warn her when the Orcs attacked. In the end, her efforts had been in vain and losing Celebrian to Valinor had been a terrible price for her to pay; the worst possible.

 

Elrond was seething with rage. “If Celeborn had not sent Erestor to Imladris when he realized he was pregnant with our daughter, she might not have lived either!”

 

Galadriel lost interest in this argument with Elrond and focused on her husband instead. “Celeborn, you betrayed me. You went against my wishes and behind my back by sending Erestor to Imladris.”

 

Celeborn drew in a deep breath. In his heart he had always known this moment would come and it was best to get it over with. “Erestor is no kinslayer.”

 

“I know that, the mirror showed me a long time ago.” Galadriel ignored Erestor’s strangled whimper and searched Celeborn’s eyes.

 

“You had no right to ruin Erestor’s life.” Celeborn took a step closer to his wife, whose powers frightened him at times. And at the same time he was the only one who could take a large part of those powers away from her – cripple her, and teach her a lesson for once and for all. But did he have the courage to follow through? He might not survive what he was about to do. “I cannot allow you to abuse your powers in such a way.”

 

All present were alarmed when Galadriel laughed sharply. “You cannot allow? Celeborn, you have forgotten your place, which is at my side, supporting me!”

 

Even Elrond flinched, hearing those words and he cast a quick look at Celeborn, who had grown pale. It was true though. Celeborn was often referred to as ‘Galadriel’s husband’ and was seldom seen as an individual. And now he wondered why that was.

 

“I cannot allow you to continue to hurt Erestor like this. He has suffered enough,” said Celeborn in a firm tone.

 

Galadriel’s eyes flared dangerously. “But he is still alive whilst my dear Celebrian had to sail for the Undying Lands. He even has a daughter now, another bastard.”

 

“Elrond, no!” Glorfindel had watched Elrond closely and reacted just in time to hold the half-Elf back when Elrond lunged for Galadriel.

 

“I forbid you to call my daughter that!” Elrond’s hands had turned into fists. He tried to struggle free of Glorfindel’s hold, glaring at his friend, but when he felt Erestor’s hesitant touch against the small of his back, he forced himself to calm down. Erestor needed him to be in control. “Let go of me, Glorfindel!”

 

Glorfindel studied Elrond’s eyes and then obeyed, but made sure he remained in place between Galadriel and his friend. “I do not want a fourth kinslaying to take place here today.”

 

“Not at my children’s tomb,” said Erestor softly, pulling Elrond toward him. “There will be no fighting here.”

 

Elrond nodded once, but never let Galadriel out of his sight. “You are right, my love.” But Celeborn and Galadriel still stood facing each other and judging by the looks on their faces, some silent communication was taking place, which they weren’t privy to.

 

“You would not dare sever our link,” said Galadriel, breathlessly. For the first time, a hint of panic showed in her eyes. “You would not survi—“

 

“You are not leaving me a choice,” said Celeborn shakily. Releasing a tormented wail, his hands clawed at the fabric of his shirt and intense pain momentarily showed on his face, as he severed the ancient bond between them.

 

Galadriel screamed furiously and reached for support when she began to sway. Her strength quickly ebbed away, leaving her weak and shaky. She rested her back against the ancient mallorn tree for support and stood panting, staring at her husband in obvious horror. “You did not…!” She crumbled before their eyes, her form losing its normal radiance. Her usually sparkling eyes dulled and even the silver hair lost its luster.

 

“I… did!” Panting softly, Celeborn also swayed and began to collapse. Rumil and Orophin, who stood closest to Celeborn, moved at once, but it was Orophin who reached the elder Elf first and supported him when Celeborn tried to push himself back onto his feet.

 

Orophin was startled, feeling a pulsing energy radiate from Celeborn, but he maintained his hold on the elder Elf. Celeborn was leaning on him heavily and he wrapped a supportive arm around the other Elf’s waist.

 

“Fool! You think you punished me by severing our link, but it is *you*, who just condemned yourself to certain death,” panted Galadriel, who suddenly didn’t look that ethereal and superior any more. Fear, terror and defeat shone from her empty eyes. She slowly backed away from them, stumbling toward the ancient mallorn trees. She faded into the darkness now that her inner light had dimmed and it wasn’t long before she had vanished from their sight.

 

Celeborn placed one hand on Orophin’s shoulder to steady himself. He knew he would pay the price for reclaiming his freedom, but it had been the only way to deal with Galadriel.

 

“What happened just now?” Elrond briefly deserted Erestor to hurry over to Celeborn’s side.

 

“I severed the bond that existed between us. I am no longer bound to her.” Only Celeborn knew the true meaning behind those words. He also knew that he couldn’t keep his secrets forever and that he had to tell them shortly. “I am no longer the Lord of the Golden Wood.”

 

Elrond’s eyes widened dramatically, realizing what Celeborn had done. “Why?”

 

“It was about time that I made my own decisions again. I let her torment Erestor for too long.” Celeborn, whose strength was now returning, gave Erestor an apologetic look. “I should have accepted the position of your champion much earlier and I am sorry I did not.”

 

Erestor slowly advanced on Celeborn and curled his fingers around the silver-haired Elf’s hand. “You are forgiven, my friend. You made sure Galadriel could not hurt my daughter when you sent me to Imladris. I owe you so much.” Carefully, he gave Celeborn a hug. “Will you come to Imladris with us?” Celeborn had said he was no longer the Lord of the Golden Wood, and that being the case, he wouldn’t want to stay here.

 

“Ata’da, come with us to Imladris.” Elladan and Elrohir had been silent until now, but their hearts ached for their grandfather, who had lost his wife and his home. They knew how much these lands meant to Celeborn.

 

“If you will have me, I will come with you,” said Celeborn, feeling calm and at peace for the first time in several millennia. Searching out Elrond’s eyes, he made sure the half-Elf didn’t have any objections.

 

“You are welcome,” said Elrond reassuringly. Seeing Orophin and Rumil’s slightly disappointed expressions, he was reminded of his own intentions. “And would the two of you join us as well? Erestor seems smitten with you and I gather you would prefer being close to Haldir.”

 

Rumil released a pleased laugh and nodded happily. “Aye, we accept!”

 

Orophin nodded. /That way I can stay close to Celeborn. I do not want him to be alone right now. He will need our support, our company./ And he planned on being there for Celeborn.

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

The party that left Lothlorien that night consisted of nine Elves; Elrond, Erestor, the twins, Haldir, Glorfindel, Celeborn, Orophin and Rumil left the Golden Wood. Celeborn looked over his shoulder, realizing he would never return here, for Galadriel would never allow it.

 

With them, they took a precious charge. As they were eager to leave, they had decided against taking the entire tomb with them. Reverently, Celeborn had removed the sealing stone and had then placed the remains of the twins in a beautifully crafted wooden box, lined with the softest silk. The priceless load had been entrusted to Glorfindel and Haldir and they had vowed to keep the twins’ remains safe and untouched. Erestor had cried bitter tears, seeing the tiny bones, still wrapped up in soft cloths.

 

“How do you fare?” Elrond had decided against riding his own horse and instead shared Tirith with his lover. He needed to be close to Erestor right now.

 

“My head is still reeling,” admitted Erestor emotionally. “I should have known it was something very personal that was making Galadriel act in such a way. Everything she did was to ensure Celebrian’s happiness.”

 

“She was doomed to fail,” said Elrond thoughtfully. “Even though I did not know of your bond with me, the memories continued to invade my dreams. I missed you. She should have let us bind ourselves properly instead of condemning you to such pain.”

 

“Please, let us not speak of this any longer,” begged Erestor, “I want to forget and start a new life with you… and our daughter.”

 

“Aye, Indlîrien will warm your heart,” said Elrond pleased. “You will hold her in your arms shortly.” He pressed a kiss onto his lover’s dark mane. It would take several weeks to return to Imladris with Erestor still in such a weakened state, but he didn’t mind, because they were finally together.

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

Orophin kept a close eye on Celeborn. Something seemed off with the elder Elf and Orophin reminded himself that Celeborn had every reason to feel miserable. He had just left his wife and he was alone again after millennia of being with Galadriel. Celeborn needed time to adjust to that – to his new life. He steered his horse closer to Celeborn’s and softly cleared his throat. “My Lord? Are you well?”

 

“Do not call me that, Orophin,” said Celeborn in a fatigued tone. “I am no longer Lord of the Golden Wood.” And that hurt the most. The rift between Galadriel and he had gradually deepened over millennia, but he now sharply felt the void the separation had left behind. Leaving behind the Golden Wood itself was the hardest.

 

“Then what am I to call you? I cannot address you with… Celeborn.”

 

“You will have to get used to calling me that, Orophin.” Celeborn drew in a deep, steadying breath. He could already feel the difference now that he was no longer bound to Galadriel. Middle-Earth’s energy reached for him and seeped into his very pores. He had forgotten how it felt to be free and energetic, and he could only hope he could control it this time. Realizing that Orophin was still riding beside him, he glanced at the younger Elf. Orophin had always been very handsome to him and the Elf’s character matched his outer beauty. Orophin was strong, cunning, compassionate, and at times he could fall into deep pondering, something he hid from his teasing brothers. There was depth to the other Elf’s character and he wanted to get to know him better. Celeborn was surprised when Elrond gave the signal to stop for the day. Wasn’t this a bit early? They had only been on the road for four hours. But one look at Erestor’s face told him that the exhausted raven-haired Elf couldn’t ride any further. As they made camp, Celeborn noticed that Orophin had put his bedroll close to his. Apparently the younger Elf enjoyed his company and wanted to stay close, which pleased him immensely.

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

“Orophin? Your eyes will drop out of their sockets if you keep staring at our Lord in that way.” It didn’t matter to Rumil that Celeborn didn’t think of himself as the Lord of the Golden Wood any longer. To him, Celeborn would always be his Lord.

 

Orophin turned a nice shade of red, hearing his brother’s voice. Was his attraction that obvious? “I cannot control it.”

 

Rumil sighed in understanding, and after guiding his brother away from the camp, he placed his hands on either side of Orophin’s head. “I know that you like him. I also know that you never told him or expressed your feelings for him and now that he is available again…” Rumil let his voice trail off. “Remember that the bond between Galadriel and he was only severed hours ago. You cannot court him. It would not do.”

 

“I know that!” hissed Orophin, irritated. “I am trying my best not to give myself away! But it is hard! I can tell he is hurting and I want to comfort him.”

 

“Orophin, give it time. Maybe he will be ready to look at you in that way in a few decades. But he needs to mourn losing Galadriel first.” Rumil lowered his hands and wrapped his arms around his brother’s waist, holding him close. “I want you to be happy, but you have chosen a difficult path for yourself.”

 

Orophin sighed, distressed. “I will try harder.”

 

“Maybe you should distance yourself from him,” suggested Rumil. “Ride close to Erestor tomorrow.”

 

Feeling depressed, Orophin nodded once. He knew his brother meant well and that he should heed Rumil’s advice, as he didn’t want Celeborn to find out about his inappropriate feelings.

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

“Are you comfortable?” Elrond enjoyed fussing over his lover and tucked the blanket around Erestor’s form for the third time.

 

“I am comfortable and warm,” whispered Erestor happily. “I just find it hard to believe Celeborn left Galadriel and the Golden Wood.”

 

Elrond nodded. “I did not expect that either. I always thought they had a happy marriage.”

 

“Something struck me as odd though,” remarked Erestor, resting his head on Elrond’s chest, cuddling closer. “He said, ‘I am no longer bound to her.’

 

Elrond frowned, wondering what Erestor found odd about that.

 

“I expected him to say, we are no longer bound to each other.” The more he thought about it, the more alarmed Erestor felt. “For some reason I worry about him.”

 

Elrond considered Erestor’s observation. “I worry about him as well. Galadriel and he were married for many millennia.”

 

“But were they bound to each other?” Erestor briefly raised his head to look at Elrond. “Maybe I am reading too much into his words, but… did Galadriel also bind herself to him?”

 

Elrond’s eyes narrowed, finally understanding what Erestor was trying to tell him. “Are you saying that Celeborn was bound to Galadriel in the same way as you were to me before I completed the bond?”

 

“Aye.” Erestor slowly nodded his head. “Though I do not know why he would agree to such a marriage.”

 

“You did it to keep me alive.” Elrond felt truly confused now. “Do you think we should ask him?”

 

“Not yet,” decided Erestor, “We should give him a chance to sort out his thoughts and emotions first. I do think he planned to leave Galadriel at some point, but severing the bond must have been an overwhelming experience. Let us wait and see if he comes to one of us of his own accord.”

 

“You offer wise council,” said Elrond in a proud tone, “Maybe I should make you one of my advisors when we get back to Imladris.”

 

“An advisor?” Erestor smiled in disbelief. “You must be joking.”

 

“Nay, I am not,” said Elrond firmly. “But we can decide that later. First, you should meet and hold our daughter.”

 

Erestor rested his head on Elrond’s chest again and sighed blissfully. Once he was asleep, he dreamt of holding Indlîrien tightly against his chest.

 

TBC

 

Beta read by Sulien.

All remaining mistakes are mine.

BTW, Indlîrien means song of my heart.

 

Heart in Chains

Part 37

 

 

During the next three weeks Erestor regained most of his strength. The Elves proceeded cautiously, and as they were still on the road, either Rumil or Orophin scouted ahead in search of enemies. Haldir and Glorfindel guarded their precious charge closely, knowing Erestor would be heartbroken if anything happened to his sons’ remains.

 

Erestor, much to Elrond’s approval, was quickly regaining his strength and the half-Elf suspected that it was mostly due to the fact that they were in constant close contact. During the day, they would both ride Tirith and when it was time to rest, Elrond pulled Erestor into his arms.

 

Elladan and Elrohir had ample time to think everything over. They had seen a side of Galadriel they had never known existed and they were beginning to realize the true extent of Erestor’s suffering. They had agreed to support Erestor as much as possible and even wanted to befriend him. Although Erestor was trying to trust them -- after their declaration of support when they had visited him and Elrond in the talan -- it was obvious Erestor still felt somewhat suspicious of their motives. They couldn’t really blame him for that, but since learning Erestor would like to look upon them as his own sons, they were trying harder.

 

Celeborn had grown introverted these last few weeks, and there were other changes taking place in him as well, which Orophin, of all of the Elves, seemed to notice most. Celeborn’s hair, which had always been a dull silver-white at best, now glowed with a brilliant intensity. The mane had thickened and was definitely turning a shade of polished mithril and had grown longer, reaching the elder Elf’s waist now. The often sullen look in the light blue eyes had disappeared. In its place had come a sharp, probing expression. Even his form had grown muscular and more agile. His moods often went from depressed to ecstatic. These changes puzzled him and Orophin found himself staring at Celeborn more often, mostly in admiration and secret desire. He had heeded Rumil’s words and was trying to keep his distance from the elder Elf, although doing so was becoming increasingly difficult.

 

Elrond had also noticed the transformation Celeborn was undergoing. It even seemed to support Erestor’s theory that his former father in law had been bound to Galadriel in the same way Erestor had been bound to him in the beginning. Yet he didn’t feel comfortable bringing this up and trusted Erestor’s advise to wait for Celeborn to reveal matters to them in his own time. /Speaking of Erestor…/ His lover sat in front of him and Elrond had wrapped his arms around him, content to let Erestor hold the reins, which for some reason he couldn’t explain pleased his mate. “Love, do you realize we will reach Imladris tomorrow?” Elrond knew how desperate Erestor was to hold their daughter in his arms. /At least I have seen Indlîrien, but he has not./

 

“Tomorrow?” Overjoyed, Erestor looked over his shoulder at the half-Elf. “I will hold her in my arms tomorrow?”

 

“Yes.” Elrond pressed his lips against Erestor’s throat, kissing him sweetly. “And then we can start our new life as a family.”

 

Erestor blushed weakly. These last few weeks on the road had been nothing like he had thought they would be. Everyone, even the twins, had treated him with the utmost respect and care, and seemed eager to see him in Elrond’s arms. Elrond… the half-Elf seemed to have fully accepted they were bonded now and was eager to prove that acceptance whenever he got the chance, especially at night when the Peredhel snuggled up to him.

 

Erestor had to admit to feeling slightly nervous about Elrond’s eagerness to have him close. The few sexual experiences he’d had didn’t make him eager to instigate any lovemaking out of fear for pain, tearing and becoming pregnant again. He knew he couldn’t possibly deny his new mate, but he hoped Elrond wouldn’t claim him any time soon. He simply wasn’t ready yet to go through another pregnancy, not now when his body was finally returning to normalcy and his wound fully healed. He would always carry the two scars revealing he had given birth twice, but Elrond didn’t seem to mind the disfigurement, as the half-Elf’s fingers always touched gently when examining the wounds.

 

“It is time to rest for the night,” decided Elrond, raising a hand to signal for the rest to come to a halt as well. “Who will take first watch?” He dismounted first, keeping a hand against the small of Erestor’s back, eager to stay in contact with his lover.

 

“We will,” announced Elladan and Elrohir. They were used to long weeks on the road and didn’t tire that easily. They dismounted and set out to explore their surroundings, making sure the party would be safe during the night. It was different this time on the road though. Instead of the burning hatred they had experienced when hunting and killing Orcs, a peaceful feeling descended onto them, making their hearts less restless.

 

Rumil and Orophin placed their bedrolls close to the fire Haldir was building, whilst Glorfindel was settling down next to his husband. It had become clear to the two brothers that Haldir and Glorfindel were truly happy and they had refrained from trying to talk their elder brother into joining them at night. Haldir now truly belonged at Glorfindel’s side.

 

Orophin’s gaze drifted off to Celeborn’s form, which was disappearing between the trees and from their view. The elder Elf had developed the habit of leaving them each evening for a short while and none had followed him yet to find out where he went and why he left them in the first place. Orophin had tried to follow once, but Rumil had stopped him by grabbing his wrist and shaking his head.

 

Elrond had noticed Celeborn’s disappearances as well, but as long as the Sindarin Elf returned to them each night, he wasn’t going to stick his nose where it didn’t belong, keeping Erestor’s advice in mind. He had also unrolled his bedroll, lay down and raised one hand to encourage Erestor to move into his arms. “Come to me, my love.” He was a bit worried that Erestor often waited for him to speak his mind first, showing hardly any initiative at all, but then again, could he blame the other for exhibiting that sort of behavior?

 

Erestor lay down on his side, face to face with Elrond and moved into the half-Elf’s arms. “I am happy, you know,” he whispered, once he was comfortable. Looking into Elrond’s eyes, he still felt amazed to see the love in them. Love the half-Elf bore *him* and no one else. For some reason that was still hard to accept.

 

Elrond studied the open, warm, chocolate brown eyes and then said, “You do realize that I want you to touch me? To hold me? To run your fingers through my hair? To feel your fingertips caress my skin?”

 

Erestor swallowed hard. “’Tis difficult for me.” By the Valar, how was he going to make Elrond understand? “My entire life things have simply happened to me. I never felt as if I had any control and it made me… passive.”

 

Elrond nodded in understanding. “But your life has changed.”

 

“I need more time to change as well. This is so new to me.” He briefly closed his eyes. “The fact that you love me still mystifies me, considering the things done to you in the past. I was so convinced that you would be furious with me and instead you decided to bind yourself to me.”

 

Elrond was tempted to speak up but remained silent, realizing Erestor wasn’t finished speaking yet. So he settled for stroking the long, dark hair, which he now braided each morning. He wanted Erestor to realize his life had changed indeed and wearing braids that revealed his new station was a part of it.

 

“When I found you close in Lothlorien, I was convinced you had come to extract revenge for the deaths of your children,” admitted Erestor in a strangled tone, finally opening his dark eyes. “And instead you told me Indlîrien was still alive and that you had bound yourself to me. I thought I had truly lost my mind at that point. I never had any luck in my life, so why would that suddenly change?”

 

“It has changed,” said Elrond, claiming his lover’s lips momentarily in an effort to reassure Erestor. “You are part of my life now – well, you already were, but Galadriel and Celeborn did not tell me.”

 

Erestor raised a shaky hand and placed its palm against Elrond’s face. “I would not put too much blame on Celeborn if I were you. I do think Galadriel manipulated him as well.”

 

“You like Celeborn,” Elrond realized.

 

“I do. He saved our daughter. Defying his wife and arranging for my flight took a lot of courage on his part.” Erestor rubbed his thumb against the skin of Elrond’s face, his first conscious attempt to take the initiative in some way, no matter how small.

 

Elrond leaned into the caress, showing Erestor how much he liked being touched in that way. “This is our last night on the road, and I need to tell you something… and ask you a question as well.”

 

“What is it?” Erestor’s heart began to speed up with nervousness. He trusted Elrond, but his old instincts were hard to suppress.

 

“Before I left, I instructed Arwen to connect our quarters as I would like access to the nursery as well. Do you mind?” He held his breath, uncertain how Erestor would react. In retrospect, he should have waited to give that order, in case Erestor would like to keep his privacy intact.

 

Erestor’s eyes widened briefly. “We will be… living together?”

 

“Aye, and I hope we will also be sleeping in the same bed,” whispered Elrond, needing to get everything out. “I want to hold you at night.” Erestor tensed in his arms, giving him his answer and he quickly explained, “I merely want to hold you in my arms when we sleep, nothing else. Until you are ready, nothing more intimate will take place in our bed.”

 

Erestor moistened his lips nervously. “We are bound now and I know you will want to bed me, but…”

 

Elrond cringed at the way that sounded. “Erestor, I want to make love to you in the future, but not until you want it as well.”

 

Erestor lifted pleading eyes. “I am not ready to become pregnant again.”

 

Elrond nodded his head once. “I would never demand that of you. There are herbs we can use to prevent you from conceiving. We could also reverse roles,” he said, deliberately mystifying Erestor.

 

“What do you mean?” Puzzled, Erestor frowned.

 

“You could claim me instead.” Elrond couldn’t help holding his breath, awaiting Erestor’s answer.

 

“What?” Erestor blushed and averted his eyes.

 

“You do not think I would enjoy that?”

 

“I thought you would never allow that,” clarified Erestor, swallowing convulsively. “I have never… my only experiences has been with you.” At least the times he’d had intercourse. Haldir and he had never taken that final step.

 

Elrond’s heart twitched in sympathy. “I have so much to make up to you, to show you. And we have all the time we need. We will take things slowly.”

 

Erestor, feeling bold now that Elrond was this reassuring, whispered, “Not too slowly, I hope.”

 

An amused laugh rolled from Elrond’s lips. “You may set the pace.”

 

Erestor studied Elrond’s eyes for a long moment and then took a very decisive step – for him at least. He leaned in closer, pressed his lips against the half-Elf’s and kissed him passionately.

 

Elrond’s heart fluttered at the unexpected contact and he parted his lips and teeth, inviting Erestor to take the next step as well, which his lover did. Erestor’s tongue slowly explored him, tasting him and making him sigh in appreciation. Building a strong, intimate relationship might take them some time, but he felt confident they would succeed in doing so.

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

Tremors ran through Celeborn’s body as he knelt on the grass, burying his hands in the earth. He had completely forgotten what his life had been like before he had been given to Galadriel in marriage. The land’s energy coursed through him and he felt it in his every pore. The energy inside him grew during the day when Arien’s rays caressed his form and at night he sought out the woods, giving back what he had received during the day. Silver sparks danced around his form as he willed the energy into the earth, strengthening Middle-Earth; its flora and fauna.

 

He had been named Silver Tree when he had been born and his parents had given him that name for a good reason. As a Prince of Doriath, he had inherited a strong connection to nature, even stronger than any of his family members had ever possessed. When he had been a child, he had first noticed that he was different from his kin, being able to draw energy from Arien, Ithil, the starlit sky and Arda itself. His parents had called it a gift from the Valar, but once he had reached majority, he had felt it was more of a curse. It set him apart from the rest, who seemed wary of approaching him. His life had been a lonely one, until Galadriel had entered it.

 

Shaking his head, he forced her memory from his mind. Until he had actually done it, he hadn’t known he possessed the power to severe the bond, which Galadriel had controlled since the day they had gotten married. Returning his surplus energy to Arda, his eyes briefly shone silver.

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

Orophin had waited for Rumil to fall asleep and had then left their camp to follow Celeborn’s tracks, which led deep into the forest. Seeing Celeborn disappear each evening worried him, and he needed to make sure nothing was wrong with the elder Elf. He sneaked after Celeborn and found a hiding place behind a large oak tree. He had a perfect view of Celeborn, who was kneeling, his hands clawing at the earth. His breath caught upon seeing the elder Elf’s form glow soft silver, illuminating his surroundings like Ithil himself. Although he had known Celeborn his entire life, he had never seen such power bound into his very form. The energy was literally vibrating around him and the sight reminded him of…

 

/Galadriel glows like that as well./ But now he found himself wondering if that glow had emanated from her or from Celeborn. /Celeborn severed the bond between them and I overheard Erestor’s counsel to Elrond. It would seem he was right to assume Celeborn was strengthening Galadriel and now that they are no longer bound to one another, the energy remains inside him instead./ It made him wonder who had held the true power in Lothlorien.

 

“Orophin?”

 

Hearing Celeborn speak his name so softly and unexpectedly nearly caused him to bolt back to the camp. He was sure he hadn’t made any noise, so how could Celeborn know that he was here, watching the elder Elf?

 

“Orophin?” Now that the silver had left his eyes, Celeborn scanned his surroundings, his Elven sight quickly locating the sentry. Orophin looked startled, intimidated, and ready to run. He couldn’t allow that. His heart ached, realizing he had frightened the younger Elf. Pushing himself to his feet, he raised a hand, inviting Orophin over to join him. From the moment he had severed his bond to Galadriel, he had known he would have to tell his companions at one point and it was only fitting that Orophin should learn the truth first, as the sentry held his heart prisoner.

 

Orophin’s heart was beating hard, pounding in his chest, as he accepted the invitation to join Celeborn. “I did not want to spy on you,” he whispered in a tiny voice once he stood in front of the other. He even lowered his eyes, unable to look at Celeborn’s glowing form without feeling guilty for following him here. “I was worried.”

 

Celeborn carefully gathered Orophin’s right hand in his and rubbed the knuckles. “You have many questions.”

 

“I do,” admitted Orophin in a strangled voice, finally raising his eyes and meeting Celeborn’s gaze. “I do not understand what is happening to you. You look so different. Your hair, your eyes… you are glowing silver.”

 

Celeborn released a deep sigh and began to walk, pulling Orophin along with him. The younger Elf quickly fell into step beside him, but he still maintained a tight hold on Orophin’s hand. He didn’t know how the younger Elf would react to learning the truth, but he had to try to make him understand. “This is how I was before I married Galadriel.”

 

Orophin arched an eyebrow. “That does not clarify things much for me,” he whispered, miserably.

 

“I was born like this. I always had a special connection to Arda, which strengthens me.” Celeborn continued to rub the back of Orophin’s hand in an attempt to comfort both of them. “But after I reached majority, it became too much to control. I was quickly losing my control – and my mind.” His gaze locked with Orophin’s. “I was born a Prince and my connection with the land was seen as a sign that the Valar had blessed me. When they met Galadriel and sensed her control, her eagerness to achieve greatness, the elders decided I was to bind myself to her, so my energy would help her become a counter to Feanor. I did love her, in the beginning, but it was never my choice to bind myself to her.”

 

Captivated, Orophin listened.

 

“I distinctly remember the elders painting my brow blue, as a sign of the ritual sacrifice I was making, entering a half-sided bond. But the elders considered it wiser for Galadriel not to bind herself to me, so no power would flow back to me. I was young and naive and did not see their scheming. Before I knew it, I found myself in a tight bond, with Galadriel draining me.”

 

Orophin had often wondered about his Lady’s power and now realized Celeborn had been her source.

 

“I grew accustomed to feeling weak and at some point I accepted that my life was destined to be like that. It changed when Erestor entered it.”

 

Orophin halted in his tracks. “Galadriel painted his brow blue as well.”

 

Celeborn nodded. “It is an ancient ritual.”

 

“And when you severed the link with Galadriel…”

 

“My powers returned to me. Galadriel will find herself weakening fast. She is powerful on her own, being the bearer of Nenya, but she will greatly miss the power I supplied.” Celeborn stood next to Orophin, not surprised to see the wonder in the other Elf’s hazel eyes, which resembled Haldir’s. “I know this is a lot to take in, and…”

 

“And what?” Orophin nearly lost himself in the sea-blue eyes. When had Celeborn’s irises darkened that much?

 

Celeborn cocked his head. “I am not sure how long I can control this. I was married to Galadriel so this energy could flow into her and leave me balanced. I am now releasing it back into the earth, but…” His voice trailed off, hoping Orophin understood.

 

“Are you afraid your powers will become too strong to control?”

 

“I do not know what will happen.”

 

Orophin licked his lips, realizing Celeborn’s precarious position. “Can I help?” Seeing Celeborn this uncertain made his heart ache. He wanted to bury the elder Elf in a reassuring hug and shower the silver hair with light kisses, but kept himself back, still heeding Rumil’s warning. Celeborn was not for him.

 

The words left Celeborn’s lips before he realized it. “You could allow me to bind myself to you.”

 

Orophin released a surprised yelp. “But…” How would Celeborn’s energy affect him? He would risk it all for Celeborn because of the love he bore for the elder Elf, but would he become like Galadriel? Craving power and controlling? Did he want that?

 

“Do not answer that.” Celeborn had quickly placed a finger against Orophin’s lips to keep him from answering. “I was out of line. I should never have said that. I truly do not know what possessed me to do so.”

 

/Maybe you spoke of your true desires for once./ But Orophin did not share that thought with the elder Elf, realizing the emotional turmoil Celeborn was in. Rumil had been right; Celeborn did need time to find out what he wanted – and needed.

 

“You do realize you cannot tell your brothers of what you learned tonight? I would ask of you to keep this a secret for now.” Celeborn wasn’t ready to reveal this to the others and hoped Orophin understood.

 

“I will not betray the trust you placed in me,” said Orophin softly. “And I want you to know that you will always have a listening ear with me.” His heart missed a beat when Celeborn leaned in closer to place a chaste kiss on his brow. He wondered what had prompted that move, but the elder Elf was already turning away and returning to the camp.

 

Raising a hand, his fingertips touched the skin Celeborn’s lips had just brushed in wonder. /Aiya, I do love him./

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

Erestor was growing excited now that they were riding onto the courtyard. A large group of Elves had gathered there to welcome them back, including Lindir. But as he strained his eyes to see, he couldn’t find Arwen or Indlîrien amongst them.

 

Elrond dismounted, asking for some space, not wanting Erestor to feel crowded. Turning to Haldir, who was carrying the wooden box which held the twins’ remains, he asked the sentry to take the box to the Hall of Grief and to assign a guard to watch it. Next, he addressed his sons, telling them to rest and to join them for dinner later.

 

Rumil, Orophin and Celeborn dismounted and remained at Erestor’s side, keeping an eye on the dark-haired Elf.

 

Erestor continued to scan his surroundings and his breath caught, finally locating Arwen descending the stairs. In her arms was a bundle, wrapped up tightly, a few dark hairs already showing on the tiny head. “Elrond…” He grabbed hold of the half-Elf’s shoulders, needing to steady himself, swaying now that he was about to meet his daughter.

 

Elrond took charge and led Erestor into the Last Homely House, toward Arwen. Rumil, Orophin and Celeborn stopped the other Elves from following their Lord, reminding them to give Elrond some privacy.

 

Erestor only had eyes for his daughter and he shook fiercely when Arwen finally placed the tiny infant in his arms. Tears of happiness dripped from his face and he pushed the blanket that kept Indlîrien warm aside so he could see her face. “Oh…” Stormy, gray eyes stared back at him questioningly and a tiny hand reached for him from beneath the fabric. “You are beautiful!” His instincts urged him to check if his daughter had all ten toes and fingers and he heard Elrond laugh warmly, seeing him do so. Unable to look away from his daughter’s face, he cradled her against his chest, rocking her and mumbling softly.

 

Elrond, seeing the rapture and delight on Erestor’s face, exchanged a pleased glance with Arwen. “Thank you for taking care of her for us.”

 

“She is a true delight,” said Arwen warmly, placing a hand beneath Erestor’s, which was supporting the baby’s head. “I was worried when you left, and I am glad you returned to us.”

 

Erestor briefly glanced at Arwen, but then his gaze shifted back to his daughter, who had captivated his heart. “I gather you already know that… that she is your half-sister?”

 

“Aye, and I already love my sister deeply.” Arwen smiled, exchanged a look with her father and then excused herself, realizing the parents needed some privacy.

 

Elrond folded an arm around Erestor and guided him to their rooms. He wanted to get away from the curious looks his people were giving him. Apparently, the news that Erestor had given birth to their Lord’s child had spread quickly. Once they had reached their quarters, Elrond gently pushed Erestor inside and quickly closed the door behind them. Steering his lover toward the bed, they lay down with their daughter nestled between them. Elrond re-established his hold on Erestor, holding him whilst Indlîrien cooed softly.

 

“I did not know she was this beautiful, this perfect,” said Erestor, sighing. “If only I had known she had survived… I would never have left Imladris.” He regretted having missed being close to his daughter during her first few weeks. He sucked in his breath, feeling her tiny fingers curl around his thumb and when she pulled it toward her, he quickly gave in. “Oh…” He sighed happily, when Indlîrien tried to suckle on his thumb.

 

“We have been giving her bottled milk,” explained Elrond, “as you cannot feed her.”

 

Erestor blushed. “I still wonder how it is possible that I can carry a child to term.”

 

“I do not know why, or how,” said Elrond, “But I thank the Valar for this gift.” After placing a butterfly kiss onto his daughter’s brow, he claimed Erestor’s lips next. “You have made me very happy, my love.”

 

Erestor’s eyes were swimming with tears of happiness and he released them, unashamedly. A part of him couldn’t believe he had finally found his rightful place at Elrond’s side, as his mate. The bond had been completed, their daughter was in his arms and his happiness was complete. Looking adoringly at Elrond, he returned the kiss, feeling whole for the first time in his life

 

TBC

 

Beta ready by Sulien.

All remaining mistakes are mine.

 

Next

 

 

Heart in Chains

Part 38

 

 

Elrond faced a dilemma, looking at Erestor and Indlîrien, who were soundly asleep in his bed. He didn’t want to leave them, but knew a load of work was waiting for him, and the longer he postponed dealing with it, the more it would continue to pile up on his desk. But he didn’t want to leave Erestor alone either. His lover might act more confidently lately, but part of it was pretense, trying to keep everyone around him pleased. Elrond would prefer for someone to sit with his lover.

 

When the knock on the door came, he realized his problem had been solved. “Enter.” The door opened and his sons entered. He would have preferred for Haldir or Glorfindel to stay with Erestor, as his lover felt more comfortable around the two warriors, but Erestor and the twins needed to build a relationship as well. Maybe this was a good opportunity for them to make a start.

 

“We were wondering if there is anything we can do to help,” asked Elladan softly, realizing Erestor and the baby were asleep. Maybe they could assist their father in dealing with his correspondence?

 

“Actually, there is something the two of you can do for me.” Elrond slipped into his outer, formal robes and walked over to the doorway, catching the twins’ puzzled expressions. “Look after Erestor and your sister during my absence. There are certain matters I have to take care of, but I do not want to leave them alone. Erestor might be disorientated when he wakes up. He has been through a lot, and although he seems to have recovered nicely, we cannot rule out that a setback will follow.”

 

“Adar, ‘tis not that we do not want to do this,” began Elrohir, shuffling his feet, “but wouldn’t Lindir or Arwen be a better choice?”

 

Elrond smiled knowingly. “Erestor and the two of you need to build a bond of trust. You cannot postpone that.” Elrond, opening the door, looked over his shoulder and chuckled, “And you took excellent care of Arwen when she was a baby. Indlîrien is in the best hands with you.” Quietly, he closed the door behind him.

 

Elladan and Elrohir stared at each other, realizing they were ‘stuck’ baby-sitting Erestor and Indlîrien. It wasn’t that they minded, but they were apprehensive of Erestor’s reaction at finding them here.

 

“He looks like he needs to eat more,” said Elladan thoughtfully, looking at Erestor, who was only wearing his nightshirt. “Why don’t you fetch something from the kitchens? And check if it is time for Indlîrien to be fed.” 

 

“And maybe Erestor would like to take a bath? He still wears the dirt and grime of the road.” Elladan and he had already cleaned up.

 

“I will prepare his bath and you will see to the food. We will wake Erestor when you return.” Elladan felt a bit more confident now that they had a plan. He only hoped Erestor would cooperate.

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

Stirring, Erestor frowned in his sleep. Why were they talking so loudly? And who were ‘they’? Waking up, he became aware of the tiny, warm body pressed against his chest and his heart thundered with joy, realizing he was holding his daughter in his arms. Looking into her big eyes, he found that she was awake, giving him a curious look. “You are alive…”

 

Someone clearing his throat reminded Erestor that he wasn’t alone. He already knew it wasn’t Elrond, as he would have sensed the half-Elf’s presence, and he tensed slightly at finding the younger Peredhil staring back at him when he looked up. What were they doing here? Aye, they had proclaimed they accepted him as part of this family, but he still remained a tad unconvinced.

 

“We checked with Arwen and she told us that Indlîrien needs to be fed.” Elrohir picked up the bottled milk and slowly approached the bed. “I thought that you might want to do that.” Extending his hand, he offered Erestor the bottle.

 

Erestor, forcing himself to remain calm, accepted, and moved his daughter against him until she was in a comfortable position to drink her milk. To his amazement – and pleasure – she quickly emptied it. Recalling that a baby should be burped, he placed her against his shoulder and rubbed her back. A huge smile blossomed on his face when she complied.

 

“You should eat something as well,” said Elladan, who just like Elrohir, had seen the raging emotions on Erestor’s face. The fact that Indlîrien had survived and was now in his arms, was quickly overwhelming Erestor.

 

Erestor had heard Elladan speak, but had paid the words no heed, as he was totally focused on his daughter, who was now reaching for him. The tiny fingers managed to curl around a braid and pulled at his hair. Erestor was enjoying holding her and hardly felt the tug, but when a shadow suddenly fell over them, he startled and looked up at the twins, both of whom stood next to his bed. “Is something amiss?”

 

“No, everything is fine,” said Elrohir reassuringly, “but Indlîrien needs to nap and you have to take a bath and eat.”

 

Erestor gave himself an experimental sniff. Elrohir was right; he did need to clean up. But that meant leaving Indlîrien alone and he wasn’t inclined to do that.

 

Elladan read reluctance on the elder Elf’s face and knew he had to say the right thing for Erestor to comply. “Elrohir and I will take good care of Indlîrien whilst you are in the bathroom. See? Her eyes are filling with sleep. Trust me, they sleep a lot when they are this little, at least that is what my father told me. Arwen was quite the opposite. We will put Indlîrien in her cradle and nothing will happen to her.” He opened his arms, hoping Erestor trusted him to look after the baby.

 

Erestor knew the moment of truth had come for him. Did he trust the twins and was he willing to take this leap of faith? Reminding himself that they had tried hard to redeem themselves, he nodded his consent and carefully placed his daughter in Elladan’s arms. Watching the elder twin’s every move, his gaze followed Elladan to the cradle, where the half-Elf gently laid the baby down.

 

“And now it is time for your bath,” announced Elrohir, “We already prepared the pool for you.” Expectantly, he looked at the elder Elf.

 

Erestor sighed, pushed back the covers, and slowly rose from the bed. He still felt a bit weak and dizzy at times. When they had been on the road he had pushed himself, wanting to be near his daughter, and his body really hadn’t had all the time it needed to recuperate. But even in this state, he felt stronger than he ever had now that Elrond’s life energy was helping him heal.

 

Elrohir kept a watchful eye on his charge when Erestor made his way into the bathroom. After Erestor had closed the door behind him, Elrohir walked over to the closet to find a suitable robe for Erestor to wear after his bath.

 

Elladan realized Elrohir was facing a problem and returning to his brother’s side, exchanged a look with him. “These robes were made for him to wear during his pregnancy. They are much too big for him now.”

 

Elrohir smiled and headed for his father’s closet, at the other side of the now joined rooms. “These will do,” he said pleased. The rich fabric would keep Erestor warm and comfortable, and the deep brown color would compliment the elder Elf’s eyes.

 

“We should check with him regularly,” said Elladan thoughtfully, “We do not want him to fall asleep in the pool.”

 

Elrohir nodded. “Father entrusted Erestor to use for a reason and we had better not let him down.”

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

Erestor tightly wrapped a large towel around his form, cursing the lack of decent clothing. He didn’t want to slip back into his dirty shirt after his bath, but he had forgotten to bring a clean set of clothes with him. As he couldn’t stay in the bathroom for the rest of the day, he gingerly opened the door and stepped outside, hoping the twins wouldn’t make fun of him in his current state. Two pairs of gray eyes met his and he blushed, tightly clutching the towel. His wet mane fell in front of his face, providing a curtain to hide behind.

 

“Here,” said Elladan, picking up the clothes they had selected and handing them to him. “These should keep you warm.” The towel left little to the imagination and he was shocked to see just how skinny Erestor really was. He vowed to make sure Erestor ate regular meals.

 

“Thank you.” Erestor accepted the clothes and quickly disappeared into the bathroom again. He had seen the expression in the elder twin’s eyes and knew Elladan hadn’t been pleased to find how much weight he had lost after the birth. Dropping the towel onto the floor, he studied his reflection in the mirror.

 

They were right of course, Rumil, Elladan, Elrond… He was too skinny. And then there were the two scars, disfiguring him. Thankfully Elrond didn’t seem repulsed by them, as the half-Elf’s touch was always light and gentle when examining that area. How was it possible that Elrond still found him desirable?

 

Picking up the comb, he began to remove the snarls from his long hair. He should try to look his best, but doubted it would make much of a difference.

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

Stepping into the bedroom, Erestor felt a bit more confident now that he was wearing clothes. However, he was still puzzled why the twins had given him Elrond’s robes to wear. His first glance was aimed at the cradle and he found that his daughter was sound asleep. Reassured that she was comfortable and resting, he made his way over to the table, seeing the twins had gone to great lengths when it came to his lunch.

 

“Eat.” Elladan had already piled up several food items on Erestor’s plate. “You need more flesh on your ribs, my friend.”

 

It was that last word, which made Erestor look up in surprise. Quickly averting his eyes, he began to eat, feeling their eyes on him. They were certainly making sure he ate!

 

“Our father asked us to look after you and Indlîrien whilst he works in his study,” explained Elladan, “And we welcome the opportunity to spend time with you.”

 

Erestor nodded once. “I…” His gaze shifted to the cradle. “I do not have much experience when it comes to looking after a baby.”

 

“We can help,” offered Elrohir, “We helped raise Arwen.”

 

“I… would like that,” said Erestor shyly, realizing they meant well. All they needed was time to get to know each other.

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

Orophin felt a bit lost. The last time he had visited the Last Homely House, Rumil and he had only stayed for the night, and he was lost when it came to finding his way about.

 

“Maybe I can help?” Celeborn, leaning against the wall, watched Orophin spin around. “Feeling a bit lost?”

 

Orophin gasped; the transformation Celeborn was undergoing had surely improved his looks and the former Lord of the Golden Wood had never before looked more attractive to him. The somewhat sullen Lord Celeborn had disappeared and a very alert, handsome Elf had emerged instead. The mere sight of him made Orophin’s groin stir.

 

Celeborn was no fool and saw the effect he was having on Orophin; part of him felt thrilled at having his suspicions confirmed. Orophin was attracted to him also. He could even see the growing bulge in the other’s leggings. A sensual hunger assailed him, surprising him, and he fought it down, unwilling to act rashly. “Where are you headed?”

 

”I… I was looking… for you,” stuttered Orophin, wishing his arousal would fade, but now that Celeborn was advancing on him, the elder Elf’s heavy musky scent was making him sway and break out in a sweat. How was he going to act controlled with this temptation standing in front of him? All he could think about was begging Celeborn to take him and end his misery!

 

“You have found me.” Celeborn circled Orophin, his senses picking up on the other’s needs. “Would you go for a walk in the gardens with me until it is time to join the others for dinner?”

 

Orophin found himself nodding frantically.

 

Celeborn’s smile turned into a smirk and he placed one hand at the small of Orophin’s back, needing the contact to ground him. Sparks erupted at the touch and both Elves stared at each other, taken aback.

 

“What is happening?” Orophin swallowed hard; needing to know what was causing them to react like this. “I feel like I am rapidly losing control… your scent is in my lungs and…” Celeborn suddenly pulled him close and Orophin released a soft whimper, being crushed to a chest that was definitely more muscular than he remembered.

 

Celeborn looked deeply into Orophin’s hazel eyes, pupils dilated and the irises darker than he recalled. “I can still stop this… this attraction, if you want it. But I cannot lie to you or pretend I do not feel what I feel. I desire you greatly and I sense the same need in you. So I am offering you this choice. What do you want? Do you want me to distance myself from you and go back to pretending I do not want you? Or do you want me to take this step and make you mine?”

 

Orophin panted hard, hearing Celeborn address this matter so directly. “Do you really want me?” If Celeborn did, his decision was easily made. “What about Galadriel?”

 

“I am no longer bound to her and I would never consent to being bound to her ever again. I have missed feeling this strong, this… young. My body is waking up, remembering needs that were never fully met.” Celeborn studied Orophin’s eyes. “I have desired you for a long time and I think you feel the same way about me. I would not ask you to bind yourself to me, but I do not take lovers lightly. I would expect us to be exclusive, Orophin.”

Celeborn felt it was better to address this before they made a decision. “I am very loyal, Orophin, and I would do my best to live up to your expectations, but only if you want to be with me.”

 

Orophin swallowed hard, raised his right hand and let his fingers comb through Celeborn’s mithril mane. “You are so different now. Stronger, handsome… you radiate strength… and sex.”

 

Celeborn allowed himself a relieved smile. “You like what you see then?”

 

“Very much.” Orophin moistened his lips nervously. “About forming a bond…”

 

“Not now… not yet,” replied Celeborn firmly. “I do not know what effect it will have on you. I need to learn to control my powers first.”

 

“But what I am trying to tell you is that I want to be bound to you!”

 

Celeborn traced the outline of Orophin’s top lip with a fingertip. “I do not want you to act rashly. You think you know me, but do you? As I am now?”

 

“Then give me a chance to get to know you!” He was panting hard, tremors coursed through his body and he felt weak in Celeborn’s arms. Reacting instinctively, he leaned in closer and claimed Celeborn’s lips in a bruising kiss.

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

Elrond had left his study and walked to the Hall of Grief, where he found Rumil guarding the small wooden box that held the precious remains of his firstborn twins. The Galadhrim’s eyes were filled with understanding when Elrond placed a hand on the wooden box.

 

“I wish they had lived,” mumbled Elrond sorrowfully.

 

Those words nearly broke Rumil’s heart. “It was my fault,” he admitted in a strangled tone. “If I had not fetched Erestor to help…”

 

Elrond raised a hand and sighed deeply. “That was a most unfortunate chain of circumstances, but ‘tis Galadriel’s fault mostly. She decided against telling me of Erestor’s pregnancy.”

 

“What would you have done, had she told you?” Rumil relaxed his stance and took a step toward the half-Elf. Rumil still carried his own burden of guilt, and although Erestor had never blamed him for the loss, he blamed himself.

 

Elrond considered the question. “I would have been shocked to find out what Galadriel and Celeborn had done, but I would have demanded for them to send Erestor to Imladris where he could have given birth to them. I don’t know if I would have loved him as I love him now, but I would have treated him with the utmost respect.”

 

“But then Arwen and your twins might never have been born,” mumbled Rumil.

 

Elrond’s features darkened. “Rumil, you were not to blame. You meant well when you fetched him. Did Erestor ever blame you for his loss?”

 

“No, but—“

 

“Rumil.”

 

Rumil sighed deeply, hearing Elrond’s calm tone. “I wish I could forgive myself, but I cannot.” He startled briefly, feeling the half-Elf’s hand on his shoulder. “I just want him to be happy.”

 

“So do I.” Elrond managed a reassuring smile. “Erestor has found a home here.”

 

“You will take good care of him and Indlîrien?”

 

“As long as I will live.” Elrond squeezed Rumil’s shoulder reassuringly. “We will all take care of him.”

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

Just before dinner, a large group of Elves gathered in the Hall of Grief. Celeborn still tasted Orophin’s lips against his and stood close to his new lover, making sure they weren’t separated. The fact that Orophin had taken the initiative had surprised and pleased him, as it made him look forward to their next sensual exchange. 

 

Rumil, Haldir, Glorfindel, Arwen, the twins and Elrond were standing in front of the fire, their thoughts with Erestor’s unborn children, whom they would put to rest tomorrow. Imladris’ finest sculptors had worked hard to erect a new tomb that would hold their remains.

 

Elrond had asked them to gather here, whilst Lindir sat with Erestor and Indlîrien. Turning around, facing them, his gaze shifted from one to the other. He read regret, affection and trust in each pair of eyes. “I asked you to join me here because tomorrow will be a very emotional day for Erestor.” Elrond watched them nod and then continued, “In the next few days Erestor will greatly need your support. As the newest Lord of Imladris, he will need to find his place here – at my side – and he will need your help.”

 

“He can count on us to help him,” said Elladan in a firm tone.

 

“Thank you, my son,” replied Elrond, pleased. “I am sure the three of you will become good friends once Erestor does away with his distrust. It is not his fault, Elladan. Erestor learned that not many people are to be trusted.”

 

“We will be patient,” promised Elrohir.

 

Pleased that his sons had completely accepted Erestor as part of their family, Elrond’s gaze came to rest on Arwen. His family had expanded and he was grateful that his children accepted his new life mate and daughter.

 

Celeborn cleared his throat and Elrond was reminded of a different matter that he wanted to address. “I want to spend as much time as possible with Erestor and Indlîrien, and I wanted to ask you to take over some of my duties for the next few months.”

 

Celeborn nodded; he had been about to suggest the same thing. “I will look after Imladris for you.”

 

“And maybe Orophin can help?” suggested Haldir impishly. “My brother was always interested in learning diplomacy.”

 

Elrond arched an eyebrow, finding Orophin’s face a deep shade of crimson. He couldn’t remember ever having seen an Elf blush that fiercely before. Not even Erestor. /Does Orophin have some interest in Celeborn?/ Well, he couldn’t blame the younger Elf for being attracted to Celeborn, certainly not now that the elder Elf’s looks and charisma were so enchanting. Celeborn’s eyes met his. /Celeborn knows we will have to talk shortly./ Elrond was curious to find out what was truly happening to his former father in law.

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

“Lindir? Thank you for sitting with Erestor.” Elrond gave the white-haired Elf a thankful look and then opened his arms to receive Erestor into them. One look at the cradle told him that Indlîrien was awake, cooing happily.

 

“Someone should sit with her, whilst we eat dinner,” said Erestor, worried.

 

“Rumil has offered to stay with her. Will that do?” Elrond carefully monitored Erestor’s reaction and was relieved to see the smile. He hadn’t thought Erestor blamed Rumil for his sons’ deaths, but he had wanted to make sure.

 

“Rumil will do perfectly.” Erestor rested his head against Elrond’s chest, sighing blissfully.

 

“Hum, are you wearing my robes?” Elrond was surprised to see how well they looked on Erestor. “They suit you.”

 

Erestor blushed slightly. “I too wondered why Elladan had selected these for me, but when I went through my own robes, I realized I would drown in them. They are much too big now.”

 

“And mine fit you perfectly.” Elrond realized he liked seeing his lover in his robes; it made Erestor even more ‘his’. “You can wear mine until the tailor has time to see you.”

 

“You do not mind?”

 

“No, I greatly approve of seeing them on you.” Elrond was about to lean in closer to kiss Erestor when someone knocked on the door; Rumil probably. After calling out ‘enter’, Rumil entered.

 

“Off to dinner with you,” said Rumil impishly. “Erestor, you are still too—“

 

Elrond and Erestor finished for him. “Skinny.”

 

“Aye.” Rumil smiled brilliantly, catching sight of Indlîrien. “Hello there, little princess…” After walking over to the cradle, he gently lifted her into his arms. Cradling her against his chest, his eyes began to fill with unshed tears. “She is beautiful, Erestor.”

 

Erestor had a very good idea of what was *really* going on in Rumil’s mind. He had tried before to tell Rumil that the silver-haired Elf wasn’t to blame for the miscarriage he had suffered, but Rumil seldom listened. Entrusting Indlîrien to the sentry now, Erestor hoped Rumil finally understood how much he valued him as a friend. “Take good care of her for me, Rumil.”

 

Elrond, who was already guiding Erestor to the doorway, whispered, “She has already wrapped him around her little finger.”

 

Erestor laughed softly, hearing his daughter giggle. “She likes him.”

 

Rumil waited for the two Elves to close the door behind them and then sat down in the rocking chair. Now that he was holding her in his arms, he felt the first touches of forgiveness descend on him and he began to let go of his feelings of guilt, which had haunted him for so long.

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

Dinner proved to be nerve-wrecking for Erestor. Upon his arrival, all eyes had turned to him and he could still feel them now. Elrond had guided him to his seat, at the head of the table, next to the half-Elf. It was his usual place, but now it felt different.

 

Whilst Elrond introduced him as his new mate and the one who had given him a daughter, Erestor forced himself to stare at the wall, instead of hiding his face behind his hair. Arwen, who was seated at his other side, reached out for him, wrapping her fingers around his and he gave her a thankful smile. Her support meant a lot to him.

 

He almost expected to hear some protest when Elrond named him ‘Lord of Imladris’ and his official life partner, but no one raised any objections. Elrond now sat down next to him and his mate gave him a pleased smile. For one moment the half-Elf reminded him of a cat, purring its pleasure.

 

“That made it official,” announced Elrond proudly. Brushing a wayward lock behind Erestor’s pointed ear, he smiled at him. “You are my husband, lover, and bonded mate.” And soon, he hoped, Erestor would feel comfortable enough to explore their sensual relationship as well. “I love you, Erestor… until the end of Arda.”

 

Beta read by Sulien.

All remaining mistakes are mine.

 

Heart in Chains

Part 39

 

 

Elrond distinctly noticed Erestor’s relief now that dinner was over and they could make their way back to their quarters. He didn’t know when it had happened, but Erestor had wrapped an arm around him and his lover’s head rested on his shoulder. Finally, Erestor seemed comfortable. Maybe he could try some light conversation, as he wanted to keep Erestor in this relaxed state. “Did you also notice something about Orophin… and Celeborn?”

 

Erestor smiled, rubbing his cheek against Elrond’s shoulder. “Aye, I did. They stared at each other throughout dinner and I can only label Celeborn’s look as predatory, but Orophin did not seem to mind.”

 

“Do you not think it odd? That Celeborn would fall for Orophin only weeks after severing his bond with Galadriel?” They had reached their quarters and Elrond now pushed the door open.

 

“No, I don’t. Celeborn and Galadriel no longer loved each other. Only the Valar know for how long Celeborn felt trapped inside that bond.” Erestor’s eyes softened, finding Rumil asleep in the rocking chair, his daughter safely tucked away in the cradle. “I hope Celeborn and Orophin will be happy.”

 

Elrond considered Erestor’s words and decided to adapt his lover’s attitude when it came to this matter. Erestor had also been trapped inside a one-sided bond and probably knew best. /Thankfully, we *do* love each other and completed the bond. I am beginning to believe that Galadriel never did./

 

“Rumil? Wake up! You cannot be comfortable sleeping like that.” Erestor gently rocked the chair and smiled, seeing Rumil’s eyes fill with awareness. “Thank you for watching her.”

 

“She is a sweet little baby,” said Rumil, yawning. “And, you are right. I should head back to my quarters. Haldir wants Orophin and I to become part of the Imladris’ guards and tomorrow is our first training day.” He pushed himself to his feet and his eyes sparkled, seeing the happiness in Erestor’s dark ones. “I fed her and she will probably sleep for a few more hours.” He headed toward the doors, running a hand through his tangled hair. Raising a hand in goodbye, he disappeared into the corridor.

 

Erestor came to a stand still next to the cradle and studied his daughter. Elrond walked over to him, embraced him from behind and pulled him close. Erestor sighed blissfully. “I am really happy, Elrond.”

 

“Good.”

 

Erestor smiled, hearing the soft purr in the half-Elf’s voice. Turning in the embrace, their gazes met. He involuntarily tensed slightly, seeing the lust and passion in Elrond’s eyes, which were at half-mast. “I…” He backed away from the half-Elf, his stomach suddenly tense and his fingers shaky. “I cannot… not yet…”

 

Sighing, Elrond berated himself for letting go when knowing he had to proceed slowly. “’Tis late, and Ithil is high in the midnight sky. We should go to bed.” Elrond frowned, realizing Erestor was still trembling, “And sleep.”

 

Erestor released a relieved sigh. “I apologize… I do not know what is wrong with me.”

 

/I think you do./ But Elrond was careful not to say those words aloud. Leaving Erestor at the cradle, he walked over to the bed, where a servant had already laid out two nightshirts. He picked up his shirt and began to disrobe, constantly aware of Erestor’s eyes on him.

 

Erestor felt embarrassed for his reaction earlier. Just what was wrong with him? After drawing in a deep breath, he removed his robes as well, quickly slipping into his nightshirt, relieved that they wouldn’t sleep naked. He wasn’t sure he could deal with that yet. /Why am I so nervous?/

 

“Erestor?” Elrond, who had pushed down the covers, now extended a hand, inviting Erestor to join him. The dark, doe-like eyes reminded him of that first night in Lothlorien when he had been about to take Erestor without any preparation at all, just like he had done after the Battle of the Last Alliance. Thankfully, in Lothlorien he had realized that something was wrong and he had prepared Erestor properly. /But that very first time traumatized him and his subconscious expects it to happen again. But I will never again hurt him! Never!/ He kept his hand extended, laid down and said, “Join me? You must be tired too.”

 

And yes, Erestor was tired. After shuffling his feet indecisively, he made up his mind and placed his hand in Elrond’s.

 

Elrond realized the fragile trust he was given and moved aside, giving Erestor all the space the other Elf needed to lie down and make himself comfortable. “May I hold you in my arms tonight?”

 

Erestor nodded weakly, knowing Elrond was worthy of his trust and yet, he remained nervous. “’Tis not you,” he tried to explain. “I know you love me and… ‘Tis me.”

 

“I think I understand,” said Elrond, thoughtfully, when Erestor tentatively snuggled up to him. Face to face, he saw the apprehension in the dark eyes. Completing the embrace, he wrapped his lover in a loose hug, not wanting Erestor to feel trapped. “This goes back to our first time, or am I wrong?”

 

“Our first time…” Erestor’s voice was full of surprise at hearing it phrased like that. “You thought I was the High-King.”

 

Elrond knew he was venturing onto thin ice, but went ahead at any rate, trying to tread carefully. “How badly did I hurt you? That night is a bit… vague to me. The only thing I remember clearly is finding the sheets stained with blood. I tore you badly, didn’t I?” It would certainly explain why Erestor was this ‘hesitant’ around him when they were about to become intimate. The fact that Erestor had paled and was now as white as a sheet worried him. “Erestor?”

 

“Yes, you did… hurt… tear me…” Erestor forced himself to draw in his next breath and not panic. He had to grow out of his fears and doubts.

 

“I am sorry that I hurt you,” said Elrond sincerely, caressing the long, partly braided hair that flowed down his lover’s back. “I was not thinking rationally that night, being consumed by grief. And when I thought Ereinion had returned to me and wanted to make love with me, I did.”

 

“I… I forgave you a long time ago. Do we have to talk about this now?” Erestor felt confused and was doing his best not to fall apart in front of Elrond.

 

“I feel we need to discuss this now,” explained Elrond, whilst his other hand gently stroked his lover’s hip. “Because of that night you expect our future lovemaking to be like that; painful and humiliating.”

 

“I do not think so,” said Erestor, surprised. “That last night in Lothlorien…”

 

“I was coherent then, but I still acted rushed. Making love can be beautiful, Erestor, and I intend to show you when you are ready to take that step, but in the back of your mind, you still expect to be hurt.” Elrond saw Erestor flinch, and instantly knew he had guessed correctly. “And that is why you need to hear this – now.” Deserting stroking Erestor’s long hair, he placed the palm of his hand against his lover’s cheek, rubbing the skin gently. “I will never hurt you again. I will never force you into anything. You are my very soul; you might not realize that, but I would rather hurt myself than allow you to be hurt. You are safe with me, now and for always.”

 

Erestor listened breathlessly, finally hearing words he had desperately needed to hear, without ever having realized that he needed to be reassured. “I do love you, Elrond, and I want you to touch me, but…”

 

Elrond was tempted to finish the sentence for Erestor, but didn’t, wanting his lover to say the words himself.

 

“But I am not ready yet… for… intercourse.” Erestor managed to maintain eye contact whilst saying that. “But I think I can deal with kissing… And I like the feel of you running your fingers through my hair.” He didn’t want to disappoint Elrond, and now that the half-Elf seemed to understand, Erestor felt safe enough to admit the truth.

 

“Kissing…” whispered Elrond softly against Erestor’s lips before brushing them. “I like kissing you.” Running one hand down his lover’s back – and his hair – he shifted closer, settling down for some serious kissing.

 

Erestor eagerly parted his lips and teeth, trying to answer with all the passion he felt.

 

Surprised to find Erestor this eager, Elrond quickly handed control of the kiss to his lover, knowing Erestor needed to be in charge for now. Lips brushed, tongues danced, chasing after each other, and he slowly rolled onto his back, bringing Erestor with him.

 

Finding himself on top of Elrond, straddling the half-Elf’s hips, Erestor wondered how he had gotten into that position, but then the kissing started again. Breathlessly, he took charge of the kiss, exploring his lover’s mouth, and playfully nipping at Elrond’s bottom lip before releasing the bruised tissue.

 

“You are beautiful,” whispered Elrond, enchanted. Erestor hovered above him, strands of long hair teased his skin and his lover now rested his hands on his abdomen. Elrond wished they were naked, but for Erestor’s sake didn’t do anything to rid them of their nightshirts. The chocolate eyes had gained a dark glow, which was utterly captivating. Knowing Erestor would love it, he slowly ran a hand through the long mane, whilst his other began to undo the braids. “Still comfortable?”

 

“Very comfortable.” Erestor was trying hard not to think, not to remember and just allow himself to feel his lover’s touch. Elrond had grown hard beneath him and that puzzled him. The Ruler of Imladris couldn’t possible enjoy being on the bottom. But then again, hadn’t Elrond suggested reversing their roles at one point? “You know what?” Erestor bowed forward and placed light kisses on each of Elrond’s eyelids, making the half-Elf giggle. “My behavior is ridiculous… What I am trying to say is… We are bonded… You already claimed me three times and I gave birth to our daughter. And yet I continue to act like a shy maiden on her first night of passion.”

 

“But this is your first night of passion,” said Elrond wistfully. “This is the first time I know who you are and that you love me. And you can finally express your own needs, instead of submitting to me.” A soft growl escaped him.

 

Erestor understood, knowing that the growl had been meant for Galadriel and not for him. “She told me I had to submit for you to be healed, I never questioned her words and… I am… was… am inexperienced. I would not have known what to do to completely bind myself to you.”

 

“She hurt you in so many ways, for so long…” Elrond caressed his lover’s face. “But I will make you happy. I promise.”

 

“I am already happy,” said Erestor thankfully, bowing forward to claim the half-Elf’s lips. He was a bit surprised at the speed with which Elrond was yielding to him, but allowed himself to simply enjoy and accept the gift. “It will take me some time, but I will try to become the lover you want me to be.”

 

“Don’t…” Elrond shook his head, placing his hands at either side of Erestor’s head, making sure his lover heard him. “I do not want you to become the lover you think I want. Be yourself. I know there is a lot of passion inside you; you just need time and to feel more secure in our bond to show it. I want *you*, not someone you think I want.” That little speech earned him the most passionate kiss so far. Suddenly, his lips were utterly possessed, bruised in a fierce kiss promising many exhausting nights once Erestor had found his confidence in the bedroom.

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

“Did you have enough time to ponder my question?” Celeborn coyly looked at Orophin, who was still at his side. Dinner had ended half an hour ago and they had retreated to the gardens, enjoying the peace and quiet. Ithil was liquid silver tonight, and he could literally feel the power flow into his body.

 

“What question?” Orophin felt enthralled by Celeborn. The elder Elf seemed surrounded by a soft silver glow, intensifying the mithril color of the now long mane.

 

“What do you want, Orophin?” Celeborn sat down on the grass and a soft breeze played with strands of his hair.

 

Entranced, Orophin sat down as well, staring hungrily at Celeborn. “I want you, I already told you that.”

 

“You do realize that there is no way back for you if we decide to make this commitment? You are young, handsome and utterly desirable, whilst I feel ancient. Are you sure we are not a bad match?” Celeborn couldn’t help himself, involuntarily he inched closer until he was kneeling in front of Orophin and his lips brushing the younger Elf’s. “I feel like I am going to burst with passion for you.”

 

“I realize what it entails,” panted Orophin softly. “And I accept you as my lover. Oh, by the Valar, do you have any idea how much I need you? How hard it is to keep my hands off of you?”

 

“Other parts of you are hard as well,” said Celeborn, unable to resist the corny pun. Chuckling amused, he pulled Orophin onto his lap, tightly holding the younger Elf in place. “Wrap your arms and legs around me.”

 

Orophin felt like he was dreaming, finally having Celeborn this close. The passion and lust that filled the dark blue eyes were making it hard for him to breathe. Suddenly, the laces to his breeches were undone and a warm and greedy hand slipped inside. “Oh, what…?”

 

“I would love to take my time with you, but my passion for you burns too hotly. I need you now… I want you…completely.” Laying Orophin down on his back, he used one knee to push the younger Elf’s legs apart. “But only if you desire me as well.”

 

Orophin, slightly stunned at the pace Celeborn was setting, swallowed hard, but then yelped softly, as agile fingers began to massage his length. Celeborn was demanding, assuming control and… /I like it./ Soft lips claimed his in an intense kiss and he lifted his hips, trying to increase the friction around his shaft. “Will you… be gentle? I have never… done this… before.” Celeborn’s strokes kept him on edge, his body demanding release. Looking at Celeborn hovering above him, he was overcome by an intense sense of happiness. “Aye, I want this… I want you…”

 

“I will be gentle, love,” promised Celeborn. Quickly, he unbuttoned Orophin’s shirt, removing it and staring admiringly at the smooth, hairless chest. Two erect nipples proved too much temptation and he rolled one of them between his fingertips, drawing needy mews from his new lover. “Soon,” he panted, teasing the hard nubs of flesh with the tip of his tongue. “You have no idea how long I have wanted to do this to you.”

 

His hands moved downwards. “Raise your hips.” Quickly, he slid off the leggings and was finally graced with the sight of Orophin’s naked body. “Perfect.” Within seconds, he had rid himself of his own shirt and leggings and now knelt between the powerful thighs. “I will be gentle,” he repeated, seeing a hint of apprehension in the hazel eyes. “I will always be gentle with you.”

 

Orophin yielded at once, when Celeborn’s lips descended over his in a possessive kiss. The elder Elf’s hand returned to stroking his length and he thrust, needing release fast, needing it now. “It burns me…”

 

“I feel it too,” whispered Celeborn, putting his hands on his lover’s body and exploring all sensitive areas. “It is in my veins. My passion for you burns me.”

 

Everywhere Celeborn’s hands touched him sparks erupted beneath the skin, quickly driving Orophin to an orgasmic high. Just when he was afraid he would come without feeling Celeborn inside him, his body was breached by a first digit.

 

Celeborn had used the juices of a healing plant, which he had found in the shadow of an old birch tree, and used it to lubricate his lover’s passage. “Roll over onto your side, Orophin.” His lover had already admitted to being new to making love and he wanted to make this as pleasurable as possible for the younger Elf.

 

“I want to be able to look at you,” demanded Orophin, disliking the idea of making love on his side.

 

“Trust me. I will make this good for you.” Celeborn spooned behind his lover and guided Orophin’s knees to the younger Elf’s chest. “Try to stay like this.” Pressing teasing kisses on his lover’s neck, he nibbled his way over to one earlobe, suckling it. Wrapping one arm around Orophin, he reached for his lover’s erection, stroking it lazily. Reaching for the healing plant once more, he squeezed more juices from the leaves and rubbed it onto his hard flesh. “Are you ready? I can still stop now. Are you sure this is the right path for you?”

 

“I am sure,” said Orophin in a surprisingly convinced tone. Looking over his shoulder, he made eye contact with the elder Elf. “Do you want me?”

 

“I crave you.”

 

“Then have me.” Orophin, feeling the blunt head of his lover’s erection against his entrance, began to push back. “You need to quench this fire inside me, it is burning me alive!” What was causing this need? This… lust? He had never felt it before, and by the way Celeborn was looking at him, the elder Elf felt it too.

 

Unable to keep back any longer, Celeborn buried himself inside his lover’s tight passage with one long, gentle stroke. “Ai…” Instincts were taking over – instincts he hadn’t known he even had! – and his teeth buried themselves in Orophin’s shoulder, drawing a few droplets of blood.

 

Orophin had been unprepared for the penetration and the invasion that followed. A burning pain made him tremble, but then Celeborn thrust for the first time, rubbing something inside him. “Ah… ai, what… aye… there…now…again…” Within seconds he was reduced to squirming and rambling incoherently, wishing Celeborn would allow him to come. When he finally reached orgasm, he threw back his head and released a series of grunts, pushing back to feel his lover as deeply as possible inside him.

 

Celeborn followed Orophin over the edge, releasing the skin between his teeth as he didn’t want to inflict serious damage, and buried his face in Orophin’s damp hair instead. Crushing the younger Elf to him, he shook, releasing his seed inside his new lover. Even during this intense state, he realized another bond had been formed, this time involuntarily and triggered by the power of their union.

 

But this time it felt different; it felt whole, round, complete. /A mutual bond… How is that possible?/ How could that have happened? And did he have the heart to tell Orophin?

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

Elrond busied himself playing with one of Erestor’s braids. Indlîrien had woken them twice during the night, demanding to be fed. Elrond had seen to her needs both times, wanting Erestor to stay in their warm nest. After returning to their bed that second time, he had been unable to fall asleep again and had enjoyed studying Erestor’s face instead. There were deep lines etched onto Erestor’s forehead that shouldn’t have been there. Galadriel’s scheming had put them there and Elrond hoped that with patience and a lot of tender loving care, they would disappear in time. Erestor had endured so much for his sake. “Good morning, my love. Wake up for me… and for our daughter?” His lips brushed Erestor’s, drawing pleased purrs from them. “We have a busy day ahead of us.” This afternoon their unborn sons would finally find their final resting place near the Bruinen.

 

Erestor raised a hand and cupped Elrond’s cheek in his palm, adoringly staring into the gray eyes. “You will be at my side when we… take them there?”

 

“I will be there.” Elrond placed a chaste kiss on his lover’s brow and sat up. Erestor followed suit and both Elves left the bed. Erestor headed for the cradle, taking his daughter into his arms, whilst Elrond opened the door so the servants could serve breakfast.

 

“Did you feed her twice last night?” Erestor frowned, recalling Elrond had left their bed.

 

“She was hungry. She has a fine appetite, which is a good thing for a prematurely born baby.” Elrond stopped in his tracks, taking in the sight of his lover and daughter. The Valar had truly blessed him.

 

“Ada!” Arwen walked into the room, her eyes trained on Indlîrien instead of her father. Smiling at Erestor, she raised her hand to stroke the baby’s face. “I was hoping you would let me sit with her for a short while.”

 

Elrond and Erestor exchanged a glance. “That is a good idea,” said the half-Elf eventually. “We need to bath and get dressed. Arwen can watch her in the meantime.”

 

Erestor wasn’t so sure it was a good idea. He had just been reunited with his daughter and he wanted her close all the time. But he knew he couldn’t take her into the pool with him. Sighing, he nodded once, and placed her in Arwen’s arms. Indlîrien began to cry – loudly – and her tiny fingers reached for Erestor’s dark hair, succeeding in grabbing hold of a long strand.

 

“Ai!” Erestor frowned at his daughter’s action. “Why did you do that?”

 

“She does not like being parted from you,” said Arwen, smiling.

 

Indlîrien still had a surprisingly tight hold on his hair and Erestor had to cradle her against his chest once more. “I love you too, little one, but we have to part for a little while and Arwen really likes you. You will have fun with her.”

 

Elrond grinned, realizing that Indlîrien’s hold on Erestor’s hair was tightening. The small hand had turned into an amazingly strong fist.

 

“Aiya, Indlîrien, you kicked me when I still carried you and now you are tugging at my hair. ‘Tis safe to say you inherited many of Elrond’s character traits. You already have the makings of a warrior.”

 

Indlîrien suddenly cooed happily and finally released the strand of hair.

 

“I think she liked hearing that,” said Arwen, giving her father a wink.

 

Elrond smiled, wrapped an arm around Erestor’s waist, and led his lover into the bathroom. “Our daughter is quite possessive.”

 

“She must have inherited that from you.” Erestor blushed weakly, finding Elrond had stepped out of his nightshirt and was now filling up the pool. Elrond’s body was agile, built for endurance and Erestor watched the play of muscles on the half-Elf’s back as Elrond lowered himself into the water.

 

“Are you joining me?” Once more, Elrond mimicked last night’s action and raised his hand in invitation.

 

Erestor gingerly removed the nightshirt, feeling vulnerable now that he was naked and joined Elrond in the pool. Their gazes met and Elrond’s look spoke volumes. “I will eat,” he said quickly, “Elladan already told me to eat more and I will.”

 

“Good.” Elrond approved of Elladan expressing his concern, but tension had risen between them and he wanted to do away with it. “Would you wash my hair for me? I will do yours if you would like that.” Handing Erestor a bar of soap, he waited for his mate to calm his nerves.

 

Erestor nodded, moistened his lips and created lather with the soap. When Elrond turned his back toward him, Erestor swallowed hard, overcome by the need to touch his mate – more intimately than just washing his hair, but told himself that this was not the time, nor the place for it, and washed Elrond’s hair instead. He combed the long strands with his fingers, undoing the knots the half-Elf liked to wear. Touching Elrond in this way was comfortable and reassuring, and when he had finished rinsing the hair, he wished he hadn’t finished yet.

 

“Turn around, ‘tis your turn now.” Elrond took the cup Erestor had used to rinse his hair with and used it to wet his lover’s mane. Taking care of each other in this way felt surprisingly intimate and satisfying.

 

Erestor rested his head on Elrond’s shoulder. “Hold me? Hold me tight? The mere thought of having to say goodbye to my sons again makes my heart ache.”

 

Elrond complied, delighted that Erestor had asked him to do so. “Trust me, the time has come to let them go. They will always remain in your heart, but you have to put them to rest. Put the memories and the pain to rest. And then focus on your future – our future.” Elrond hugged him tightly, hoping Erestor was ready to start living in the present, instead of in the past.

 

 

TBC

 

Beta read by Sulien, thanks!

All remaining mistakes are mine!

 

Heart in Chains

Part 40

 

 

Erestor managed to be calm and controlled for Elrond’s sake when Celeborn placed the remains inside the tomb for a second time, but seeing the scene brought back unsettling memories. He had wrapped one arm tightly around Elrond’s waist, to give support and to receive it in turn, and when the ceremony came to an end, he found himself eager to return to their rooms. He desperately wanted to rock Indlîrien in his arms.

 

Sensing Erestor’s need to be reunited with their daughter, Elrond excused them and guided his lover back to the Last Homely House. Although the half-Elf seemed composed, Elrond wanted nothing more than to march back to Lothlorien and extract revenge on Galadriel for keeping him in the dark about his sons.

 

“You will have to let go of your anger in the end,” offered Erestor softly, making eye contact with Elrond. “Or it will consume you.”

 

“And you know this because…?”

 

“I let my grief consume me for three thousand years.” Erestor gingerly rubbed Elrond’s back through the fabric of the robes. Elrond had told him that he wanted to be touched, but to actually take that step and show some initiative was hard for him. “We need to live in the present and to look toward the future.”

 

“Again you offer me wise words,” said Elrond thoughtfully. “But you have had millennia to deal with the loss. I am still trying to understand Galadriel’s betrayal.”

 

Erestor opened the door to their quarters, remaining quiet, pondering Elrond’s words. After thanking Lindir for looking after Indlîrien, he gathered her in his arms and held her close. “Sit down in the rocking chair, Elrond… Please.” He was surprised to realize he had just given the half-Elf an order.

 

Elrond questioningly arched an eyebrow, but did as he was told. “Why?” His question was answered when Erestor placed their daughter in his arms.

 

“Sometimes we need to be reminded of the things we *do* have.” Erestor watched them, realizing how right this felt and knelt on the floor beside the rocking chair. After placing his hands on Elrond’s knees, he looked deeply into his lover’s eyes. “You have Indlîrien now.”

 

“And I have you.” Holding his daughter with one hand, he used the other to stroke Erestor’s hair.

 

“And you have me,” confirmed Erestor with a smile. Concentrating on their bond, he sent a small amount of his healing energy into Elrond’s fëa, strengthening him, hoping it encouraged the half-Elf to live in the here and now. “Do not ponder the past when the present has so much to offer.”

 

Elrond was deeply touched by Erestor’s words and caressed his lover’s face. “I thank the Valar that I found out about you and our daughter.”

 

Erestor’s face was alight with happiness and his skin glowed softly. “I love you too, Elrond Half-Elven.”

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

Orophin shifted constantly on his chair, wondering why he felt this… odd. He couldn’t label the sensation, but he definitely felt different and it had started after Celeborn had made love to him.

 

“Orophin? Can you even hear me?” Rumil waved a hand in front of his brother’s face, trying to catch Orophin’s attention. “Hello?”

 

Orophin sighed and turned away from his annoying brother. “Leave me alone.”

 

“Not when you are clearly upset.” Rumil pulled up a chair and sat down opposite Orophin. “Does it have anything to do with the fact that you spent last night in Celeborn’s arms?”

 

“What?” Startled, Orophin searched Rumil’s eyes. They had been discrete! Rumil couldn’t possible know they had made love!

 

“You did not sleep here last night, so where could you have been? My guess is in Celeborn’s arms.” Rumil sighed, gathering his brother’s hands in his. “Why did you not listen to me? I told you to keep your distance.”

 

“I couldn’t. I… I…” Orophin lowered his eyes, gathering his courage. “I felt on fire and I needed him… and he felt the same way.”

 

Rumil cupped his brother’s cheek in his palm and lifted the handsome face. “Did you discuss this matter before the two of you… made love?”

 

“We did. And he wants us to be together. One could consider us married…”

 

“But?” Rumil knew his brother well enough to know Orophin was still keeping something from him.

 

“But he won’t bind us! I offered…” Orophin pleadingly looked at his brother, hoping Rumil understood. “You know that I have always loved him from afar and now…”

 

“Go, talk to him,” said Rumil, pulling his brother to his feet. “Tell him what bothers you.”

 

“I am not sure I can.” But Rumil didn’t listen and before Orophin knew it, his brother was dragging him into and then down the corridor to where Celeborn’s quarters were located.

 

“I advised you against taking this step in the first place, but now that you have, you have to follow through.” Rumil came to a halt in front of the door to Celeborn’s rooms, knocking once. “Tell him!” When Celeborn called out ‘enter’, Rumil opened the door and pushed his brother inside.

 

Orophin stood frozen, hearing Rumil close the door behind him. Shuffling his feet, his gaze apprehensively sought out Celeborn’s, finding the elder Elf leafing through some papers.

 

“Ah, back so soon, lirimaer?” Delighted to see his lover, Celeborn rose from behind his desk and headed for the younger Elf. After folding one arm around Orophin’s waist, he possessively pulled him close and claimed the soft lips. This time, however, Orophin’s response was a bit… lacking. “Something is troubling you.”

 

“Yes, there is... something.” Orophin trembled in the strong arms. Finally making eye contact, it was hard for him to reconcile this stronger, more handsome version with that of the sullen Lord he had known his entire life. There was such strength in Celeborn that he wondered how he could expect the elder Elf to be his for eternity. Surely Celeborn would turn a lot of heads and find someone more worthy of his attention. “Why won’t you allow us to be bound to one another? I want that.”

 

Celeborn sighed deeply. There was no way to keep this a secret, then. “Orophin? There is something you need to know.” He guided the younger Elf to the bed, where they sat down. After placing a hand at the column of Orophin’s neck, he soothingly rubbed the skin. “When we made love, something went wrong.”

 

Orophin tensed, stricken. “Wrong? What went wrong? By the Valar, can we fix it?”

 

“I am afraid not. It happened involuntarily. I had no hand in it.” Swallowing hard, Celeborn hoped his younger lover would understand. “We were bound to each other during our love making. I never intended for it to happen, but—“ His voice trailed off, seeing the brilliant smile on Orophin’s lips.

 

“You scared me!” Orophin threw a punch at Celeborn’s chest, glaring at the elder Elf. “You made me think something terrible had happened!” He continued to pound Celeborn’s chest, infuriated that the elder Elf thought this was a bad thing. “That is exactly what I wanted!”

 

Celeborn caught Orophin’s wrists, stopping him from pummeling him further. “But it is still too early, lirimaer.”

 

“I want it that way!” Orophin, braving Celeborn’s wavering eyes, stood his ground. “I want us to be bound to each other.”

 

Celeborn relented. “I cannot undo the bond at any rate.”

 

“But you severed the link with Galadriel.” Orophin had freed a hand and stroked Celeborn’s skin, rubbing his thumb along the strong jaw line.

 

“That was different as she had never bonded with me.”

 

Orophin’s eyes sparkled with pleasure. “So there was some subconscious approval on your part when the bond was formed?”

 

“You always told me you wanted this bond, so when it was formed, I suppose it happened automatically.” Celeborn was relieved now that Orophin knew the truth.

 

“I also have the suspicion the others already know about us. Maybe not Erestor and Elrond, but my brothers do. Rumil actually dragged me here to tell you that I was upset because you would not bind us.”

 

“So the others know?” An impish grin appeared on Celeborn’s face. “Good, for that means I can kiss you in public.”

 

“Like anything could stop you from kissing me in public,” teased Orophin, confident Celeborn loved him.

 

“No one could ever stop me,” whispered Celeborn, claiming his lover’s lips. He had waited much too long to severe his connection with Galadriel and was determined to savor each moment spent with Orophin.

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

“She won’t stop crying!” Nervous, now that he couldn’t calm his daughter down, Erestor looked pleadingly at Elrond. “I already fed her and she should be tired, but she won’t stop crying!” He rocked her slowly, pacing the nursery.

 

Erestor’s stressed tone had alerted Elrond that his lover needed help and he told Erestor to hand Indlîrien to him. Once she was safely tucked in his arms, he offered her a fingertip to suckle on. Within seconds, the cries faded away.

 

Staring at Elrond in wonder, Erestor released a relieved sigh. “Thank you.”

 

“Elladan used to cry like this for hours, until I let him suckle on my finger. That worked miracles.” Elrond walked over to the rocking chair and sat down. “Would you let the servants in so they can serve dinner? I am growing hungry.”

 

Erestor nodded once and answered the door. Whilst dinner was being placed on the table, he briefly disappeared into the bathroom. He splashed some cold water onto his face, telling himself to remain calm. It was normal that Indlîrien cried at times; he had to get used to that. He was thankful that Elrond had taken over and was now rocking their daughter.

 

/Elrond…/ His feelings for the half-Elf were still deepening and he found he craved Elrond’s touch. But at the same time he was still afraid that there would be pain and blood and that he would conceive again.

 

“Erestor?” Elrond had placed their daughter back into the cradle after rocking her to sleep and had felt the need to check on his lover. Seeing the expression on Erestor’s face, he knew his lover was troubled. “There will be countless sleepless nights,” he said honestly, “But I do have some experience when it comes to raising children. You do not have to do this alone.”

 

“Thank you,” whispered Erestor, slightly shaken. “I never thought I would ever be raising a child, not after losing the twins.”

 

“You will do splendidly,” said Elrond, trying to reassure Erestor. “But now we need to eat dinner.” He guided his lover back to the table, where they sat down opposite each other. “Eat.”

 

Erestor’s stomach promptly growled and he began to eat his soup. “I have been thinking…” he started in a wavering tone.

 

“About what?” Elrond smiled reassuringly.

 

“About us… making love… you to me…” Erestor blushed, lowered his eyes and traced circles on the plate with his spoon.

 

“Erestor…” Hadn’t they already discussed this?

 

“No, I…I want to take that step, ‘tis just… I am not ready yet to become pregnant again.” He still avoided looking into Elrond’s eyes, not wanting to see the disappointment in them. “And we cannot be sure any of the healing plants that normally prevent pregnancy in she-Elves will also work on me.”

 

“Erestor,” said Elrond, placing his hand on his lover’s. “I already told you that I do not want to endanger your life by you becoming pregnant again.”

 

“I know that, but…” Erestor trembled slightly, “’Tis not fair to make you suffer for my problem. I know you were hard when… when we kissed last night and…”

 

Elrond rose from his chair, covered the distance between them and went down on one knee in front of Erestor, whose big eyes stared wonderingly at him. “I also told you we could reverse roles.”

 

“I could not… do *that* to you,” mumbled Erestor, taken aback. He simply couldn’t picture Elrond allowing that, allowing himself to be that vulnerable. Tenderly, Elrond cupped his face in his gentle hands, redirecting his gaze so he had to look into the cloudy, gray eyes. “That does not seem right. After all, you are—“

 

“What? The one who claimed you three times? Yes, I did that, and rather poorly I might add.” Elrond wished he could find a way to convince Erestor that he really wanted this, but would words be enough? “My love, by claiming me in turn you would complete the circle. Don’t you see that?”

 

“But why would you want to submit to me?” Erestor felt confused.

 

Elrond shook his head. “Galadriel was wrong to tell you that you had to submit to me. Making love is not about submission, or pain. ‘Tis about love and making the other happy. I do think you would understand if you were to give this a chance. You have a kind and giving nature, Erestor. You would see the difference if you were to make love to me.”

 

“I am not sure,” said Erestor, wavering. “I do not think you understand how much pain is involved.” He flashed back to his first time and the pain he had suffered back then suddenly felt very real to him. “You should not have to suffer like that.”

 

“Aiya, I hurt you so much,” said Elrond, feeling frustrated. “But there does not have to be much pain, Erestor.”

 

Considering Elrond’s words, Erestor nodded slowly. “There was less pain involved that last time in Lothlorien.”

 

“I promise you that there will be no pain involved when you claim me. I will see to that. Please give us this chance, Erestor.”

 

“I do need to overcome these doubts and fears,” said Erestor absentmindedly. “But maybe you should claim me instead? You could pull out before climaxing, making it less likely that I will conceive.”

 

“There is still a chance you might conceive,” replied Elrond firmly. “And I do not want to take that risk. Not until we know which healing plants are most likely to prevent a pregnancy.”

 

Erestor realized Elrond was determined not to take any risks where he was concerned and it made him feel special. “You should not worry that much about me.”

 

“But you are my heart, Erestor. How can I not worry about you?” Hoping he had finally convinced Erestor that he really wanted to reverse their roles in bed, he rose from the floor. But before returning to his chair, he placed a loving kiss on Erestor’s lips. “We do not have to do this tonight, but I would love to feel you inside me some time.” He chuckled softly at finding Erestor’s blush deepening. “You might not want to hear this, but I have been on the receiving end before with Ereinion. So I know how to properly prepare myself when we decide to make love. I will guide you. Do not worry about hurting me, love.”

 

Erestor briefly averted his eyes. He had never pondered Elrond’s preferences in bed. “You like… being on… the receiving end?”

 

“Sometimes.” Elrond returned to his seat and picked up his spoon. “There can be much pleasure in being taken that way.”

 

“You will show me… guide me, then? For I refuse to hurt you.”

 

“I will guide you,” promised Elrond, cursing his past actions, which had hurt Erestor so deeply. “And we will both enjoy it.”

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

Erestor had snuggled up to him in bed and Elrond was relishing every moment spent with his lover. They had moved the cradle next to their bed, making it easier for them to keep an eye on their daughter and to feed her when necessary. But the baby was asleep now and wouldn’t wake for a few more hours.

 

“Everything is the way it is supposed to be,” whispered Elrond soothingly. Erestor had greatly surprised him by suggesting they did not wear their nightshirts, and feeling his lover’s naked body pressed against his, soothed his troubled mind. His fingertips lightly stroked the scar tissue, left behind on Erestor’s abdomen due to his pregnancies. “Thank you for carrying Indlîrien.”

 

Erestor smiled against Elrond’s chest. “Thank you for accepting her… us.”

 

“Now sleep…” whispered Elrond, stroking his lover’s back. “Sleep…” Listening to Erestor’s breathing, he realized the elder Elf was quickly falling asleep. “I will hold you through the night. You are alone no longer.”

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

“Erestor? I have a gift for you.” Elrond placed a beautiful rosewood box in front of his lover, who was rocking Indlîrien and letting her suck on a fingertip.

 

“A gift?” Erestor stared at the box in puzzlement.

 

“Here, let me take her.” Elrond gathered his daughter in his arms and sat down next to Erestor on the couch. “Open it.”

 

Erestor picked the box up from the table and studied it. “Why? Why give me this?”

 

“Because I want everyone to know you that you are mine. And I also think you earned it.” Seeing Erestor arch an eyebrow, he added, “Must I have a special reason to give you a present? I love you and want to see you happy. I hope this will make you happy and always remind you of our love.”

 

“You have already given me so much!” Erestor’s eyes shone with love for Elrond as he opened the box. His breath caught, seeing the mithril circlet. Reverently, he removed it from the box, studying it with big eyes. It was similar to Elrond’s, but the curves of the piece were shaped like waves upon a calm sea. Erestor was left speechless and was completely unaware he was holding his breath as Elrond placed his hands over his and said, “May I?”

 

Elrond knelt in front of him and placed the circlet on his head, then kissed him. The kiss was soft and tender, with all of Elrond’s love behind it and he gently suckled Erestor’s bottom lip before he broke the kiss. Erestor let out his pent up breath in a soft “Ah!”

 

Elrond gently took Erestor’s face in both hands and gazed into the chocolate brown eyes as he said, “Always remember that you are my chosen, bonded mate and a Lord of Imladris. This circlet will confirm that for all to see and acknowledge my trust in you.”

 

Quite stunned, Erestor remained speechless, as Elrond released his lover’s face and reached into a pocket of his robes. He withdrew a smaller box, which he opened to reveal a mithril ring. It was a perfect companion to the circlet, resembling waves and set with sapphires and diamonds. “’Tis beautiful!” Erestor gasped.

 

Elrond removed the ring from the box and said, “It is set with sapphires to evoke the deeps of the sea and demonstrate the depth of my love for you. And I chose diamonds to remind you of the white of the foamy spray in the bay at the Havens of Sirion.” Elrond gently slipped it down his lover’s ring finger. “And now everyone will know you are my beloved, even when you are not wearing your circlet.”

 

Completely overwhelmed, Erestor leaned in closer and wrapped his arms around Elrond, also burying Indlîrien in his hug. Words couldn’t express the love he felt for the half-Elf, but maybe he could shortly take that final step and show him.

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

“Why did you bring me here?” Erestor frowned at his lover. They were in the healing house and although the sounds and scents were very familiar and comforting, he wondered why Elrond had dragged him from their rooms.

 

Camfael, who had decided to stay in Imladris now that Celeborn had taken up residence here, approached and raised his arms, gathering Erestor in a careful hug. “Actually, I suggested that he bring you here.” Camfael was delighted to see the healthy blush on Erestor’s face. His former charge had also regained some much needed weight. Erestor looked well, well enough to start working with him. “I thought you might want to pass on your considerable knowledge to the students. We do need someone to teach them.”

 

Erestor’s eyes widened. “You want *me* to teach them? But I do not know enough and…” Elrond’s finger descended onto his lips, effectively silencing him.

 

“You have accumulated so much knowledge in your life that you are more than qualified to teach them,” said Elrond sincerely. “I know that Indlîrien is a very important part of your life, but I also know from personal experience that you will need time away from her. Just wait until she starts teething. I used to hide in my study and let Lindir and Celebrian deal with the twins. You cannot be there for Indlîrien every minute of the day; she will exhaust you. Working here will provide you with a much needed distraction and rest.” Elrond hoped Erestor understood. “Plus, I want my people to see how talented a healer you are. That will earn you their respect, and should I ever have to leave Imladris in the future, they would obey you more easily.”

 

Erestor nodded, understanding Elrond’s intentions. “I accept, then.”

 

“Excellent!” Camfael smiled happily. “I do need some help training them. Many aspire to become a healer, but only a few are talented.”

 

“I will help you.” Erestor smiled brilliantly at Elrond. /He really wants me to be a part of his life in every aspect./ And he appreciated that. It also meant it would be a lot easier to do research on those plants that could prevent a pregnancy. They might have agreed that Elrond would be on the receiving end when they finally did make love, but Erestor wouldn’t be satisfied until his lover could claim him as well, without having to worry about the possible consequences.

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

“Where is Indlîrien?” Erestor frowned at finding her cradle empty.

 

During these last two weeks he had finally found his place in life. During the day, his hours were spent looking after his daughter and helping Camfael train the young students. In the evening, he would dine with Elrond and their friends, and then cuddle up to his lover in bed. They had begun to touch experimentally and Elrond had seemed extremely pleased, finding him responding eagerly. It had become clear to both of them that they were nearly ready to take that final step and now that the cradle was empty, Erestor suspected Elrond judged the time had come. “Where is she?”

 

“Arwen and the twins will look after her tonight,” said Elrond, advancing on his lover. He had slipped into a comfortable evening robe and had removed any braids and knots from his hair, preferring to wear it loose tonight. “We should not be disturbed tonight, now should we?”

 

Erestor nodded slowly; his suspicions were correct then. “You want to do ‘it’ tonight?” Gingerly, he wrapped his arms around Elrond’s shoulders, running his fingers through the dark mane. The half-Elf was utterly desirable and Erestor was already hard with need.

 

“I think you are ready for it. Don’t you?” Elrond ran his hand up Erestor’s back and rested it at the nape of his lover’s neck. “You have become more confident these last few weeks and you have begun to touch me intimately.” The first time Erestor had wrapped his fingers around his erection, Elrond had gasped with surprise, but he had quickly relaxed, enjoying feeling his lover’s hands on him. “Are you ready to make love to me?”

 

Erestor sincerely considered the question before answering his lover. “I want to be.”

 

That was good enough for Elrond, who cradled one of Erestor’s hands in his, guiding his beloved to their bed. He had already pushed down the covers and lit several scented candles. “Then be with me.” Lying down on his back, he pulled Erestor on top of him. Although he already cursed the fabric between them, he knew better than to disrobe them, preferring for Erestor to do that when the time felt right.

 

Erestor suddenly found himself between Elrond’s thighs when the half-Elf parted his legs. His mouth had gone dry and his hands trembled, caressing a strand of his lover’s hair. “I was afraid this day would never come, but deep down in my heart I always fantasized it would. Not with you beneath me, but…”

 

Elrond silenced his rambling lover with a deep kiss, whilst running his hands through Erestor’s thick mane. Seeing Erestor hover above him, his kind eyes searching his, made him love the elder Elf even more. Erestor had suffered so much because of him and he wanted to repay Erestor for those sacrifices. “I will love you forever.”

 

Erestor smiled warmly, shifting experimentally atop of Elrond and involuntarily causing his lover to groan. “What is it?”

 

Elrond moaned pitifully, and then looked pleadingly at his lover. “My sweet, I am hard and you are rubbing yourself against me. What do you think is happening?”

 

Erestor had the grace to blush. “I should probably do something about that.” Kneeling between the half-Elf’s legs, his fingers undid the buttons to the evening robe. Pushing the fabric aside, he found Elrond naked beneath it; hard and already slick with pre-ejaculate. “I do want you,” he whispered, but still his doubts remained. Could he really do this? But Elrond had promised him that there wouldn’t be any pain, just pleasure.

 

“I have already prepared myself for you,” whispered Elrond seductively, raising a hand to caress Erestor’s face. “Please,” he pleaded, gathering his lover’s hands in his, placing them on his chest. “Put your hands on me… touch me…”

 

Erestor realized he had reached a very decisive moment in his life. He could take a step forward and do his best to please Elrond, or run away and hide from this intimacy for the rest of his life. He loved Elrond too much to choose that last option. Slowly, he ran his fingertips down Elrond’s chest, encountering hardening nipples. Letting his fingertips ghost over them, they rose to full hardness.

 

“Ah, Erestor…” Elrond purred like a cat, squirming beneath his lover’s touch. Looking deeply into the chocolate brown eyes, he placed his hands on Erestor’s hips, wishing the other Elf would remove his clothes.

 

But Erestor was mesmerized by the play of muscles across Elrond’s abdomen and took his time to run his fingernails gently over the skin. “You are still in a surprisingly good shape,” he whispered absentmindedly.

 

“I try to spar with Glorfindel whenever I can,” explained Elrond. “Does my body please you?”

 

“Yes, it does.” Erestor blinked once, gathering an erect nipple between two fingertips to pinch it slightly, closely monitoring his lover’s reaction.

 

Elrond arched his back at the delightful manipulation. “More… again…”

 

Erestor rolled both nipples between his fingertips and then leaned in closer, copying something Elrond had done to him in the past. Placing his lips over one coppery disk, he teased the nub with the tip of his tongue before suckling it gently. Elrond’s response was immediate, causing the half-Elf to rub his lower body against him. The knowledge that he was in complete control of their lovemaking convinced Erestor that it was safe to remove his robes. Elrond wouldn’t ravage him like when the half-Elf had taken his virginity. He was safe with his lover.

 

Elrond wanted to protest when Erestor pulled back, but seeing the dark-haired Elf was disrobing, he simply watched, entranced. “You are beautiful, lirimaer.” Experimentally, he rested his hands on Erestor’s thighs, careful not to take control. The long hair that now danced against Erestor’s back was decorated with tiny mithril flowers and butterflies, another gift from Elrond. And the half-Elf loved seeing his lover wear them, making him marvel at the change Erestor had gone through since their return to Imladris.

 

Erestor inclined his head, accepting the compliment. “I will need you to guide me. I am not sure what to do.” Looking at his lover’s naked body, he ran his hands up and down the long thighs, still avoiding dealing with Elrond’s arousal, which stood proudly, bobbing slightly.

 

“Why don’t you take the time to explore? There is no reason to rush this.” Elrond had buried his hands in the sheets, and was doing his best not to come yet. But feeling Erestor’s hands all over him was quickly causing him to lose control.

 

Elrond’s fierce and passionate reaction to his caresses baffled Erestor, but he didn’t let it stop him from exploring his lover’s body. Moving into a straddling position, he felt Elrond squirm beneath him, his lover’s erection rubbing against his abdomen. He had never before been in charge of their lovemaking and wondered what to do. He decided to follow his instincts, and rubbed the head of his lover’s erection with his thumb.

 

“Ah, Erestor…” Elrond was unable to hold back, now that he was finally feeling his lover’s touch and came hard. Warm cream flowed from the slit onto his abdomen and Erestor’s fingers.

 

Erestor blinked in surprise. “Elrond?”

 

“Oh, look what you did to me,” mumbled Elrond in surrender. “I cannot even hold back long enough for you to make love to me.”

 

“Did I…?” Uncertain how to phrase this, Erestor gave his lover a questioning look.

 

“You caused me to lose control… I want you so much… Need you so badly… Will you finally claim me?” This was the best moment for Erestor to take him, as he was completely relaxed. His lover would easily bury himself inside his body.

 

“Now?” Erestor was suddenly getting cold feet. It was one thing to bring Elrond to orgasm, but to actually penetrate the half-Elf was a completely different matter.

 

“Yes, now.” Elrond grabbed a pillow and pushed it under his hips, elevating them. Whilst his right hand used his own seed to coat Erestor’s erection, he guided his lover’s hard flesh closer to his entrance. “I need you…”

 

Erestor nervously moistened his lips and then nodded once. “I need you too.” Elrond’s right hand guided him to his objective and when he began to slide inside, he carefully monitored the half-Elf’s facial expression.

 

Feeling Erestor slowly enter him was divine, but Elrond wanted more. Bringing his knees close to his chest, he hooked his arms behind them, causing his lover to sheathe himself to the hilt.

 

Erestor placed his hands on either side of Elrond’s head, searching the gray eyes for any sign of discomfort. But he found none. Finally convinced his lover was fine, he swallowed hard, finding himself buried deeply in his lover’s body. “Now what?”

 

“Now you make love to me,” said Elrond, smiling. He rocked his hips, hoping Erestor would pick up on the hint and to his delight, his lover did. Soft lips took his in a bruising kiss, and when Erestor thrust for that first time his lover rubbed his prostate, causing delightful vibrations to hum through his body.

 

Erestor lost himself in the kiss and the motions, thrusting shallowly, unwilling to accidentally tear his lover. Elrond’s well-being was always in his thoughts, even whilst feeling his lover growing hard again. Amazed that he could last this long, he curled his fingers around the half-Elf’s erect member, timing the strokes he delivered to the hard flesh to coincide with his thrusts.

 

Elrond chased his lover’s tongue, suckling it in the end and when he felt the manipulation to his hard flesh, he lost control again. Coming in his lover’s hand, he trembled with passion, taking control of their kiss, and hoping he had succeeded in showing Erestor how much he loved him.

 

The first spasm that contracted around his member took Erestor by complete surprise. Involuntarily, he stopped all motion, staring into Elrond’s dilated pupils. Elrond was smiling at him in a silly way, obviously delighted that their lovemaking was this passionate. Another spasm followed and Erestor groaned. Unable to support himself any longer, he collapsed atop of his lover, who immediately wrapped him in a solid embrace.

 

First his groin tightened and then Erestor relaxed, finally finding release. Maintaining eye contact with Elrond, he saw all the love the half-Elf bore him reflected in the cloudy orbs and he stopped doubting their love, their union, and their passion. Kissing Elrond lazily, he rode out the feelings of ecstasy that coursed through him. Warmth spread throughout his body and he sighed blissfully. “Oh my, that was…” Lacking the right words to express his feelings, he rolled them onto their sides, realizing Elrond was carrying his weight, which had to be uncomfortable.

 

Elrond moaned his disappointment, feeling Erestor’s sated member leave his body. “Yes… that was…breathtaking.” Brushing some damp, wayward strands of dark hair behind Erestor’s delicately pointed ear, he dotingly looked at his lover. “I think I discovered a hidden talent of yours, love. You made me come twice.”

 

“I pleased you, then?” Erestor purred, already reading the answer in Elrond’s eyes. He was relieved himself, knowing he had made Elrond come and had found release inside his lover’s body without causing him any pain.

 

“Yes, you pleased me -- greatly,” said Elrond, smiling giddily, “And in the future you may please me whenever you want.”

 

Erestor rested his head on Elrond’s shoulder. “Hearing you say that means a lot to me. I was so worried that I would hurt you.” But in the midst of passion everything had felt right and he had stopped doubting himself.

 

Elrond stroked his lover’s back, feeling relaxation and ultimately sleep set in to claim Erestor. “We finally completed the bond.”

 

“We already did… when you bound yourself… to me,” whispered Erestor fatigued. The tension that had been building inside him and the fear of hurting and disappointing Elrond finally faded away, leaving him exhausted.

 

“But not physically.” Elrond placed a kiss on top of his lover’s hair and listened to Erestor’s breathing, which became slow and steady with sleep. “Sleep now and dream of our future together. Galadriel can no longer chain you and your heart is finally free to love and be loved.” Elrond closed his eyes, cuddled closer to Erestor and surrendered to sleep as well.

 

Beta read by Sulien, thanks!

All remaining mistakes are mine.

 

Heart in Chains

Part 41

The End / Epilogue.

 

 

“Ada… Ada! Look what Haldir taught me!”

 

Erestor’s eyebrow arched in warning, which urged Elrond to quickly secure the reports he was working on, putting books, rocks –basically everything he could find on the papers—before his daughter swept into the room, pretending to be fighting some unknown enemy with her wooden sword.

 

“Ada, Haldir taught me how to attack!” The wooden stick moved about frantically, fortunately missing the stained glass oil lamp and quill, ink and the carafe of miruvor.

 

“Be careful now!” Erestor smiled, seeing his daughter’s energetic lunge and caught the stick between his hands, quickly removing it from Indlîrien’s hands. “You have to be more careful indoors.”

 

Indlîrien giggled at him and then unceremoniously sat down on his lap, after picking up an apple from Elrond’s desk, and setting her teeth in it. “He will also teach me how to defend myself! Then I can finally get back at my brothers!”

 

Elrond smiled at his youngest daughter. Arwen had hoped to make a miniature lady out of her at this tender age, but her attempts had failed. Indlîrien was a free spirit, who loved to roam the woods, swim in the Bruinen and she brought home all kinds of injured animals. She was absolutely a handful. He still remembered his sons coming to him to complain about Indlîrien on one particular occasion. She had sneaked off with their clothes and boots whilst they had been bathing in the Bruinen, causing them to walk back home naked and frustrated. She moved soundlessly and seemed intent on causing problems wherever she went. The twins of course blamed it on their father’s genes.

 

“Did you study with Master Camfael today, as you promised you would?” asked Erestor, trying to undo the tangles in his daughter’s raven hair. Her mischievous gray eyes suddenly turned worried.

 

“I tried, but he fell asleep on me.”

 

“Oh dear, what did you do this time?” Elrond wondered how Arwen and Indlîrien could be so different. Not even the twins had been such a menace!

 

Indlîrien shrugged once. “I might have dropped a sleeping potion into his tea.” She gave Elrond a stunning smile and her arms went around Erestor’s shoulders, hugging him tight. As far as she was concerned she had the best parents in the world. And Haldir was cute too. She liked the silver-haired Elf a lot. If only Glorfindel would stop being so grumpy when she was around! She was only a small Elfling, only sixteen years old, -- eight in human years -- and she was allowed to act like one!

 

“You must stop slipping Camfael sleeping potions.” Erestor tried to act stern with his daughter, but the charming smile on her face told him that he had failed. He just couldn’t be angry with her, and she knew it.

 

Still hugging her father tightly, she placed a big, sloppy kiss on his cheek and then slid off his lap. She now moved toward Elrond, looked up at him and cocking her head. She had learned how to easily wind them around her little finger years ago and usually they let her get away with a lot of mischief. “Elladan offered to take me riding on his horse today… Can I? Please, Ada?” She gave him her warmest smile, whilst her fingers curled around her father’s, squeezing gently. “Please?”

 

Elrond found himself nodding involuntarily, and before he could tell her to be careful, she was already running out of the room. A bundle of bright, loving energy; that was what she was. She might get into trouble occasionally, /and which Elfling does not?/ but she always made things up to her ‘victims’ with hugs, kind words and smiles.

 

“Her childhood is so different from mine,” whispered Erestor, the words involuntarily slipping from his lips, remembering Feanor and his sons. “She seems happy here.”

 

“She *is* happy here,” corrected Elrond gently, knowing how important it was for Erestor to see his daughter this carefree. “Are you happy here too?” Deserting his reports, he rose from behind his desk and walked over to Erestor. Straddling his lover’s hips, he purred, rubbing his groin against Erestor’s.

 

“Oh, you know I am happy here because you make sure I am,” said Erestor teasingly, placing his hands on Elrond’s hips. Smiling, he rested a hand at the column of his lover’s neck, pulling Elrond close so he could easily claim the half-Elf’s lips in a possessive kiss.

 

Elrond sighed, surrendering to his lover’s passion. Erestor had come a long way these last sixteen years and had turned out to be quite a passionate and attentive lover, who had long lost his fears when it came to taking the initiative where their lovemaking was concerned. Elrond still remembered those first, awkward nights, when Erestor had gingerly touched him, but he had always kept his promise, letting his lover be in control in the bedroom.

 

“I want you,” purred Erestor, running his hands down Elrond’s back, wishing the fabric wasn’t separating them.

 

“’Tis the middle of the day,” teased Elrond, “and we should be working. Thranduil’s letter needs a reply, these reports must be studied, and—“ Erestor’s lips silenced him and he sighed, loving the fact that his lover was taking the initiative. Erestor had taken charge in many ways. Erestor and he worked together on a daily basis, as the elder Elf had become his chief advisor over the years. Once Erestor had gained more confidence and grew used to speaking freely, Elrond had learnt that his lover’s council was wise and constructive. But Erestor also still worked in the Healing House, training the young apprentices alongside Camfael. Erestor had become a vital part of his life. But he loved to see Erestor most in the capacity of his lover and parent to Indlîrien.

 

At one point they had discussed the possibility of having more children. It had been Erestor who had hesitantly brought it up, but Elrond had been averse to the idea. Erestor had nearly died after giving birth to their daughter and Elrond refused to risk his lover’s life again. It helped that they had found an herbal potion that kept Erestor from conceiving. The first time they had made love after Erestor had drunk it, they had both been unable to relax and enjoy their lovemaking and for the next few weeks they had been edgy. When it became apparent that Erestor had not conceived, they had felt relieved.

 

Looking at his lover now, Elrond was reminded of the first time that Erestor had offered himself to him. Erestor had shaken like a leaf, but he had been determined to do this and Elrond had eventually given in. He had made sweet love to Erestor, slowly and patiently, taking his lover on his side to prevent any tearing, as he couldn’t thrust as deep in that position. And once Erestor had found release, screaming his lover’s name, the dark-haired Elf had done away with his fears. “In what way do you want me?” asked Elrond, licking his lips and rubbing his lower body against Erestor’s arousal, which was apparent through the fabric of the leggings his lover wore today. The shirt, loosely laced, revealed parts of his shoulder and chest, and Elrond nearly drooled at the sight of it, wanting to run his hands all over his lover’s body.

 

“I want you to take me…” Erestor caressed his lover’s face. “I want to feel you inside me. It took me a while to enjoy that sensation, but now I want it more than anything else. I want our bodies to be one.”

 

“Not here,” panted Elrond softly. “The bed is more comfortable.”

 

“So we *are* going to desert our work?” Erestor grinned wickedly.

 

“Oh, I know exactly whom our daughter gets her mischievous streak from,” teased Elrond, brushing his lover’s brow with his fingertips.

 

“Do not try to blame this on me,” teased Erestor, enjoying the caresses his lover bestowed onto his skin. “You had a very large part in getting me pregnant.”

 

“Oh, I know,” moaned Elrond, hungrily attacking Erestor’s lips. Even after all these years he still couldn’t get enough of his lover. Reluctantly, he let go of Erestor’s lips and got to his feet again, pulling his lover along. “To the bedroom, then.”

 

Erestor smiled, following eagerly.

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

Indlîrien frowned deeply, finding Haldir and Glorfindel – her Haldir! – kissing! She bit her bottom lip, keeping herself from kicking Glorfindel’s shin, as she had promised herself to behave for her parents’ sake. Pouting, she left the corridor and headed for her parents’ chambers. She had been given a room of her own two years ago, when she had complained about having to live in a nursery. Her rooms were next to her parents’ and had a connecting door, which she now used to enter.

 

Giggles, groans and a loud purring echoed through the room and intrigued, she tracked down its source. She wished she still had her sword -- well, wooden stick really -- to attack any fierce creatures that might be hiding in her parents’ bed. But she was more than willing to face Orcs, or Balrogs, barehanded. Glorfindel had once joked that even a Balrog was no match for her. The poor demon would probably run for his life upon seeing her sway her wooden sword at him. And now there were things moving about in her fathers’ bed. She could see some movement beneath the sheets and dark hair was sticking out. Deciding she had to tackle this danger now, she climbed onto the bed and punched the wriggling shape.

 

“Ai!” Erestor’s eyes widened. He had felt that blow, delivered to his kidneys! Quickly, he pulled down the sheet to see who had dared to invade their rooms. Shocked, he stared into Indlîrien’s gray, wondering eyes. “Oh, my.” This was bad. He was riding Elrond, the half-Elf’s hard flesh still rubbing against his pleasure gland and he was about to come hard. But now Indlîrien was staring at him, eyebrows arched in a way usually only Elrond could pull off. Unexpectedly, Elrond raised his hips, thrusting into him. Erestor bit his bottom lip as ecstasy swept through him. His lover’s fingers, wrapped around his member, were covered in his cream. “Aiya, Indlîrien… what are you doing here?”

 

Elrond, still hidden by the sheet, froze in his movements, but it was too late. Erestor’s inner muscle, contracting around his member, pushed him toward orgasm and he bit his bottom lip, trying hard not to call out his lover’s name. /Yes, in Elbereth’s name, what *is* she doing here?/

 

“Ada? What are you doing? And why are you looking at me in *that* way?” Erestor only looked at her like that when she was in really big trouble. But she hadn’t done anything wicked today – except putting Camfael to sleep! But the silver-haired Elf had needed the rest! He had looked so tired! So, in her opinion, she had done him a favor!

 

Erestor desperately tried to compose himself, but it was hard, sensing Elrond had come inside him. When they had first made love with him on the receiving end, Erestor had been stunned to learn how much pleasure could be found in the act and he always savored the feeling of Elrond finding release inside him. But now he couldn’t give in to the sensation, not when Indlîrien was staring at him and…”No, do not do that!”

 

She had grown tired of his silly grin and had lifted the sheet, breaking out in a huge grin, finding Elrond beneath Erestor. “Ada!” Lying down on the bed, she cuddled up to him. As long as she could remember they had taken baths together and seeing them without clothes didn’t bother her in the least. “What are Ada and you doing? Can I play too?”

 

Elrond released a groan. “No, you cannot play this game with us, little one. When the time comes you will find someone to play it with, but not yet.” Elrond grabbed the sheet and covered himself, signaling for Erestor to move as well. Slipping out of his lover’s body, he quickly covered himself up.

 

Erestor had grabbed a morning robe, lying on the foot end of the bed and wrapped the fabric around him. He couldn’t help but grin, seeing his daughter’s expression. She was clearly puzzled by their behavior and they should expect questions for the next few days. “Move over, love.”

 

Elrond made room for his beloved, who now spooned up behind him. Opening his arms, he invited Indlîrien to move into them, which she promptly did. She tried to reach for Erestor as well with her tiny arms. They had to either be more careful, or tell Indlîrien about the birds and the bees, but he felt she was still a bit too young for that. /We will have to be more careful in the future./

 

Looking at Elrond, Indlîrien was reminded of catching the two blond Elves kiss. “Haldir and Glorfindel were kissing,” she said smugly, entrusting her big secret to them.

 

“They were?” Elrond sighed. It was a miracle Indlîrien hadn’t caught anyone in the act before.

 

“They love each other, don’t they?” Indlîrien felt a little sad at that, wishing Glorfindel wouldn’t kiss Haldir at all.

 

“Yes, they do,” replied Erestor, knowing Elrond wasn’t good at dealing with these delicate matters. “They are married, just like your father and I are.”

 

Indlîrien’s eyes widened. “Why don’t they have children, then?”

 

Erestor sighed. He should have known that question would follow. “I told you before, not every male Elf can have babies.”

 

“But you can!” exclaimed Indlîrien victoriously. “You had me!” Erestor had shown her the scar, so she would know how she had been born. In spite of her tender age, she had sensed old pain in his words and expression, but had not commented on it. Seeing a hint of that pain in his chocolate brown eyes now, she reacted the only way she knew how. Leaving Elrond’s embrace, she climbed over the half-Elf, and wriggled in between them, finding a new nest in Erestor’s arms.

 

Elrond sighed, realizing Indlîrien was determined to stay, and rolled onto his other side so he was face to face with his lover. Indlîrien’s back was now toward him, as his daughter was staring at Erestor.

 

“Are you going to make a brother or sister for me?” Indlîrien looked expectantly at Erestor.

 

“I told you before that we are not,” replied Elrond in Erestor’s place. “And you already have Elladan, Elrohir and Arwen as siblings.”

 

Indlîrien, disappointed at being denied, gave Erestor a weak smile. “Maybe Haldir and Glorfindel can try harder?” Her next question took both adults aback. “And just how *exactly* are babies made? You never told me!”

 

Elrond cleared his throat. “We will cover that topic later, when you are older.”

 

Erestor gave Elrond a pleading look. /What do we do now?/ They had to distract her or she might decide to start questioning them on their activities beneath the sheets upon her arrival.

 

“Maybe Arwen will provide you with a play mate in time?” suggested Elrond.

 

“Arwen can have babies too?” Interested in this development, Indlîrien rolled onto her back so she could also look at Elrond. “Ada, I want a younger sister! No more brothers. They are annoying!”

 

“But did you not tell me that Elladan will teach you how to ride a horse?” Elrond smiled, seeing her eyes sparkle. She had always been fond of horses, especially Asfaloth and Tirith.

 

“Yes, he did.” Indlîrien, tired after running about all day long, looked at her fathers. It was always so hard to decide whom she wanted to snuggle up to the most. This time, it was Erestor. Wrapping her tiny arms around him, she rested her head against his chest. “Sleepy now…” she whispered, quickly falling asleep.

 

“Thank the Valar for that!” groaned Elrond.

 

Erestor laughed softly at hearing his lover’s comment. “She is your daughter too! Always remember that!”

 

Elrond gave Erestor a thoughtful smile. “My other children are rather well-behaved. She is this wicked because she takes after you!”

 

“I am not wicked!”

 

“Oh, but you are…” Elrond traced the outline of his lover’s lips with his fingertips. “You were definitely wicked when you took yourself and then rode me like a wild stallion you needed to tame.”

 

Years ago that comment would have rendered Erestor speechless and made him blush, but now he laughed warmly. “Love, it was you who broke me in, gained my trust and tamed me sixteen years ago.”

 

“Aye, I did.” Careful not to wake their daughter, Elrond leaned in closer to kiss his lover. “And I am eternally grateful you allowed yourself to trust me – to love me.” He was happy – no, *they* were happy.

 

Their hearts were wrapped in chains of their own making, chains of love and devotion. Exactly the way they were supposed to be.

 

The End

November 2003


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